MY PERSONAL DIARY OF 1995

 1 January (Sunday)

My prayers to Lord Krishna. My prayers to Mother Saraswati. My prayers to Lord Ganapathi. My prayers to my parents. My best wishes to my friends. My kisses to my brothers. My Namaskarams to all my lecturers in our college. My sweet wishes if I liked anybody. My Happy Welcome to this joyful New Year 1995. I wish this Happy New Year to be pleasant to me. I want to go ahead well in every field this year; having best friends; enjoying delightful educational life in the college; studying well; getting good name in the college; keeping it up; having happy train journey from Narsipatnam Road to Elamanchili for education; seeing many beautiful girls and being away from any type of attachment with them; having faith in God; being healthy; having good mental power and thus finding every moment satisfactory.

2 January (Monday)

I am very happy to maintain such this good diary from this year, which has been my aspiration for a long time. In fact I need not have a diary because I am not a business manager, a  jobholder or a dignified officer, actually the ones who may need a diary. But I want a diary to write down something, which would be going on in my routine simple life. It is a good habit maintaining a good diary I think. We need a diary to write down some memorable things like birthday party celebrations, sorrowful or happy moments, unexpected events which befall us, emotions, poems, opinions, our likes and dislikes which keep changing time to time or any such other things of life, which cannot be stored in the mind for a long time. In such situations, a diary helps us put any of the above things in the form of letters, which can be useful to us in future to read and remember.

3 January to 7 March

I pursued my first and second standards at the government primary school in Ramayyapatnam. I used to go to school along with my two brothers. Once a snake passed on from between my two legs, when I was coming to school along with my brothers on foot. It’s a memorable event for me. I spent my childhood happily and somewhat memorably. That was anyhow childhood. We were happy if our father gave us even ten paise. Then the value of money was higher. Now we cannot be happy even if our father gives us one hundred rupees because the value of money  came down and the prices of things went up.

I was sent to village Gollalagunta for my education after my second standard, where our maternal grandparents lived. I was admitted into the Government Upper Primary School there. There the teachers told me that I was not wise enough to pursue the third standard. They advised me to take the second standard for the second time. However, I requested them and continued in the same standard.

My handwriting was beautiful at that time; of course even now. My writing on slate would be very nice. I gradually picked up myself in my studies. I was studying well. Our teachers had a special liking for me. The names of our teachers were Bhaskara Rao, Venu Gopala Rao, Guru Chandra Swaroop, Guntur Master, Seetha Rama Chandra Rao and Venkata Rama Raju, my uncle.

Slowly I entered my seventh standard. Let me write the names of some of my classmates in my seventh standard: Kapavarapu Satyanarayana, Kapavarapu Venkata Raju, Uyyala Rama Krishna, Battina Madhu Babu, Gollavilli Raja Babu, Chintakula Satyanarayana, Tekumoodi Venkata Ramana, Dwarampoodi Venkata Krishna Reddy, Marella Ramana and one from Baava Varam whose name I forgot. These were my seventh standard ‘boy’ friends. I had no ‘girl’ friends. I remember one or two names of them (the girls): K Chakramma (a fat girl) from village Marripaka, Bandaru Muthyalamma (a short girl) from the same village, Posupoina Kumari from village Kandregula, Cheva Nagamani from village Gurrampalem. I don’t remember the names of the remaining girls because I left this school long ago.

Our Kshatriya vamsha girls were Soujanya, senior to me and Datla Subadra, a very thin girl. These two seniors to me got places in government residential schools for girls. Soujanya was a beautiful girl. I heard that she had a lover. Leave it. Lavanya, her younger sister, was also a beautiful girl. May be she also had a lover. Leave it. When I was in my seventh standard, our head master was K Seetha Rama Chandra Rao. He was a good teacher. He was a Brahmin. He did his duty perfectly. He felt somewhat disgusted if somebody talked much but did nothing in practice.

Venu Gopala Rao was a bad teacher in my opinion. He was a Brahmin. He was a calligrapher. He addressed Soujanya as Souji. If a male teacher calls his beautiful girl student with a different name, it implies that the teacher has special affection for that particular girl. Many may consider me a crooked fellow because I am writing that a teacher has a bad tendency toward his girl student. But it’s the fact in many cases I observed. Physical beauty attracts the people of  opposite sex. In some cases, such attraction may lead to undesirable or unethical relationships. The tendency of this teacher may be good or bad toward this beautiful girl. I do not approve such special attention by a male teacher toward his female student in his school. Other students get disturbed this way. Every student likes to be equally loved by all his or her teachers.

In our seventh standard, our English teacher was Kolukuluri Venkata Rama Raju, my uncle. He was interested in providing quality education to his students. But, he was a kind of politician in a way. He paid a little attention only toward his duty as a teacher, who should be an ideal person to the students in fact. He prepared notes for some stories for us like “Two Friends”, “Shooting Part I and Shooting Part II”, “Guru Nanak”, “Chetan, A Sales Boy” and some other stories.

I was a bit good at English. I was poor at mathematics. I like to tell you one thing. Once, when I was in my seventh standard, my classmate Krishna Reddy, who had a short bicycle, and I went to Jaggampeta for seeing the Telugu film “Jaanaki Raamudu” of Nagarjuna. It was a Saturday as far as I remember. We thought that it was a holiday. So, we went to see this film. The cinema in which we saw this film was Venkateswara, an old one. On Monday (on Sunday no school) we went to school usually. Our English teacher Venkata Rama Raju (we, in our family circles, call him Chitti Babu as well) would have known that we two had gone to see a film, not attending the school. In fact that Saturday was a school working day. He furiously ordered us to get out of the classroom. Also, I remember, he threw some angry words on our faces. We silently went out and sat down on the veranda of the school beside our classroom. I started shedding tears as an indication of my guilty feeling for my bad behavior of going to see a film avoiding school. Some students in our classroom looked at us and sympathized with us. We felt ashamed of ourselves by the looks of those girls because we were boys. That incident taught me a lesson.

I was dominant in my physical strength. I was the strongest one among my classmates. My teacher uncle Venkata Rama Raju used to say that the other students had to face me as a team of defenders because I was like a stud bull before them.

Our seventh standard annual examinations were held at Zilla Parishad High School at village Soma Varam, about 25 kilometers from our school. We all went there on our bicycles. This village is near Erra Varam. I did my seventh standard examinations well. I sparsely remember that the teachers helped us a bit. I got 409 marks for 500 in my seventh standard. Thus I became eligible to take the entrance examination for admission into the Andhra Pradesh Residential School (s). That academic year I was the only student qualified to take this entrance test from our school. Our head master encouraged me to take this entrance examination. I prepared for this entrance test staying at the house of my uncle Venkata Rama Raju in Jaggampeta for about one month. I prepared well. One thing here; my marks in English subject in my seventh standard were 80 and 60 in mathematics, as I vaguely remember.

I did the entrance examination somewhat satisfactorily. One student that came to take this entrance test felt nervous and giddy within seconds after scanning the questions on paper. He sweated and kept his disturbed head on desk. Glucose (an instantly energizing powder) mixed water was given to him for temporary recovery from this minor shock (perhaps caused due to a tough question paper). He left the examination hall without taking this test. I too felt the same after scanning the question paper. In fact, I knew almost nothing to answer this question paper. But, I did not give it up. I wrote poetry (creative and misguiding combinations of some numbers and formulae so as to make it look like somewhat considerable to the evaluating teacher for getting some marks out of his pity for my poverty in mathematics or out of his careless passing off of my game of numbers as his expected  answer) even in mathematics.

Our teacher Guntur Master (he was basically from the Guntur district in Andhra Pradesh and so named so, whose name is actually Venkateswara Rao), who took me to Kakinada (the capital of East Godavari district), to make me take the examination, asked me if I did the test well. I said, “Yes, somewhat well”, not to disappoint him revealing the truth. Many other students answered “bad” to their parents and teachers who came along with them. The fact regarding me was, “I did the examination very badly”.

I returned to Gollalagunta from my uncle’s house in Jaggampeta after taking this entrance test. I  was hopeless about my success in this entrance test and getting place in the A P Residential School (for Boys), at Bhoopatipalem.

Thence I came to our village Ramayyapatnam (earlier called Rajula Kothuru and Kothuru as well) and joined the Zilla Parishad High School at village Darlapudi, near village Etikoppaka, to continue my studies from the eighth standard. The uniform at this school was a pair of white shirt and blue shorts.

I went to school on a bicycle along with my village students. I developed friendship with some of my village students during this time. Their names are Polisetty Ramana, Parepalli Satyanarayana, Karanam Nanaji, to mention a few. I carried a “Tiffin Box” (widely used term in Andhra Pradesh for referring to a light stainless steel carrier of meal for breakfast, lunch or supper) to the school with my lunch. My village students brought a carrier (which can hold much amount of food items like rice, curries, soups, buttermilk and curd in its three or four small boxes). Sometimes I shared the lunch of my village students.

The names of some of my other classmates from Ramayyapatnam (in respect of my association as a student with this school) are Bojja Satyanarayana, Doodhi Satyanarayana and Gorla Apparao.

Once, in this school at Darlapudi, a girl, whose name was “Venkata Rao” (mostly males carry this name in Andhra Pradesh) asked me to lend her my bicycle to practice bicycle-riding (during learning stage) in the playground of our school. I did not lend my bicycle to her. One of my classmates lent his bicycle to her. I felt regretful whenever I remembered her later. I cursed myself for reacting unkindly toward her. I did not feel like lending my bicycle to her. She was a girl. She asked for my bicycle for a little time to practice. But I did not lend it to her. My mind turned insensitive toward her that time.

I studied for about four months in this school. I did not know how to read even simple and small words in Hindi. But, I was somewhat good at Telugu and English. I used to buy coconut flavored chocolates, each worth 25 paise, for me, and also to take home for my parents. I spent my days happily in this school.

After four months of my association with this school, one day, my maternal grandfather Kolukuluri Subba Raju came from Gollalagunta, where I studied from my third standard to seventh standard. He brought the good news that they sent a letter for me informing me to join the A P Residential School for Boys at Bhoopatipalem in the category of waiting list. I felt very happy after hearing this news. I started dreaming about my student life there.

See how powerful the destiny of a man is! Every living being is a rag in the winds of fate. We want to do a lot. We dream to achieve a lot. We plan to enjoy a lot. But, all that we think about can’t be realized unless our fate favors it. I am writing this because I lost hope about my success in the battle of that entrance test. I did the examination very badly. I did not have even a little hope about my joining this residential school. But, my luck favored me. I got an opportunity to study in this school. It was a miracle for me.

Soon my father and I went to Gollalagunta for following the mandatory procedures of my formal admission into this school. It was a boon for me offered by God I thought.

My father took care to see that I formally joined this school. He was happy to know that I joined a good school. He was not financially sound enough to educate me in a private school. This was one of the best schools known for quality education being run by the state government.

Ganesh, a main list candidate, was said to have left this school, being scared of the hilly and mute surroundings there. The vacancy he created became luck for me, which is known as ‘waiting list’.

I joined this school with light luggage. The life of the student of a government residential school does not demand much in the form of luggage but in the form of hard work and perseverance.

Thus I started my student life in this residential school. Initially, when I knew that I was going to join this school, I thought that my life there would be very happy and enjoyable. It’s not right in truth.

Let me write about Bhoopatipalem, where there is a residential school for boys of the Other Castes (in the governmental considerations of community classifications in Andhra Pradesh, “Other Castes” is generally known as ‘OC’) where I pursued my eighth, ninth and tenth standards.

Bhoopatipalem is a hamlet. Only those people, who belong to this residential school as its employees, like cooks, washermen, gardeners, truck driver and some teachers stay there in huts and government dormitories. There were no other people.

Such a hamlet was named “Bhoopatipalem” (a village founded by the patronage of a king) because the land in which the school was started was donated by a “king” (“Kshatriya” in the present caste classification of the state). His name is D S Raju (this gentleman served as a  personal doctor to Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose, the captain of the Indian National Army (INA) formed in Japan to overthrow the British Raj in colonial India). He was a Colonel in the British Indian army. He later joined Bose for the cause of his motherland’s liberation from the colonizer.

This residential school was actually meant for the OC boys only. Later on, even the boys from other communities were admitted. Any qualified student, in terms of total marks scored in his fourth or seventh standard, that intends to join this residential school, must take a statewide entrance test, which is held every academic year in Kakinada (the students belonging to the East Godavari district have to choose this place for this entrance test). This test may be written by those boys who score the highest marks in their concerning fourth or seventh standards of study, in their respective schools of the concerning districts in the state. The boys that get the highest ranks in this entrance test would be invited to join the school as per the merit list order. Into fifth and eighth standards each, 36 boys are admitted every academic year, after finishing their respective fourth or seventh standards of study in their previous schools.

If one or more students leave the school soon after their admission, say in course of one or two months, perhaps being scared of staying in this secluded place, away from their parents, or for some other personal reasons, the boys that got the following ranks in the merit list order, would be called to join, for filling up these vacancies. It is called “waiting list” (the list of candidates that join the school at the mercy or courtesy of the ones that leave the school). Thus I got place in this school utilizing the vacancy created by Ganesh, supposedly an intelligent student, who had left the school and went back to his home.

I joined this residential school on 8 November 1990. It was very late in fact. Half-yearly examinations were around the corner. I prepared well for them. Yesu Das, a disciplined and honest Hindi teacher, taught us Hindi well. So, I picked up Hindi fast. I got 98 marks for 100 in Hindi in the half-yearly examinations in my eighth standard. I felt happy at it.

Let me provide you with more details about the surroundings around the school. The following account carries my feelings and views as a student there, the daily routine of the boys and some other related things.

Bhoopatipalem is about 30 kilometers from Jaggampeta, in Gokavaram Mandal, in East Godavari district of Andhra Pradesh. Singaaramma Chinta (named after the tamarind plantation by the road falling under the blessings of the native deity Singaaramma) is a sacred place, which appears us before the bypass to Bhoopatipalem when coming from Mallisala. Some devotees/newcomers traveling by bus or other vehicles to or from Gokavaram or to or from Molleru Mallavaram, drop some amount of money in the cash box, brought into the bus/other vehicle, by a 12-year-old girl (I don’t think that the girl remains 12 forever or that always the same person or devotee carries out this holy activity of collection of money from the travelers for the daily maintenance of this temple. This type of collection of money, by volunteers of a temple, from the patrons of any nature (in this context travelers), is common in India, particularly as far as the village temples, which are not adequately or even minimally funded by the government, are concerned).

The road, leading to Bhoopatipalem, was dusty and pitiable. The most common scene was the depressions made by the stagnated rainwater in pools and the stones looking out of the bad roads caused by poor road laying practices of the native road contractors. The school region was hilly. Many tall trees in the government forest stand on the two sides of the road, mutely welcoming the helpless guests to this place. Thorny creepers and the twigs of short trees by the road enter the bus to greet the drowsy passengers when the bus is in motion. It would be a refreshing journey/experience to travel/walk in the bus/way for newcomers to this road or place. Dust particles team up to rise from on the road, while the vehicles are walking/shivering on the road. It proves a happy journey for non-locals.

Vans, buses, lorries, bullock carts and two-wheelers often appear us in this route. Bhoopatipalem Junction is a spot on the route to Molleru Mallavaram from Jaggampeta or vice versa. One has to get down from a bus here and walk for more than a kilometer to reach the school at Bhoopatipalem. At the first sight none can believe that there is a school in such a hilly area. Only after reaching the school, one can believe in one’s eyes. A bus used to come to this school every evening. The boys at the school (including me) would look at this bus surprisingly and happily because it was the only big vehicle with passengers, that comes to them every evening like a disciplined guest. It is not that the boys at this school are unaware of the buses but that they are detached from all such material things of common interest after joining this school, situated in a secluded hilly area, for their studies. This is all about the journey to Bhoopatipalem.

Then, let me attend the point of the daily routine of the boys at this school, which might be of interest for others to know.

Majority of the boys wake up by 5:00 in the morning. They put on their white shoes, white vest and white shorts and rush to the nearby playground for drill and physical exercises. This strengthens their muscles and activates the functioning of their body.

There was a Drill Master to supervise this physical exercise. Jogging and other physical exercises go on for about one hour. By 6:00 the boys return to their dormitories and put off their exercise wear. From 6:00 to 7:00 brushing and bathing take place. By 7:00 a bell rings at the hostel mess beckoning the boys to the dining hall for having their breakfast. All the boys clean their plates and glasses at the time of their bath at taps. When the bell for the breakfast rings, they move to the dining hall and form a line standing one after one. The breakfast items are Upma, idly, Pulihora (Lemon Rice) and Pongali (not the sweeter one). Every Sunday, two dosas are served as a special attraction. This system of standing in the line for breakfast, lunch and supper can be compared to that of the prisoners at jails. It is a curse. Some boys take ghee  with them in their plates if the breakfast is Upma or Pongali (adding ghee to these dishes makes them tastier). If the breakfast is idly or Upma, some students take sugar to add it to these dishes. They bring them from their homes. Some chutney (a thick fluid like addition to be had in combination with some breakfast items) is also served by the mess staff. They mostly prepare it with fried Bengal gram.

Eighth and ninth standard students serve breakfast items on rotation basis. The students of the tenth standard are exempted from this chore of the school mess because they have to take the annual public examinations, for which they must prepare hard (the fame of a government funded residential school largely depends on the highest score of marks achieved by majority of its students, every academic year, especially by its seventh and tenth standard students).

There are no special staff to serve food items. However, one or two cooks help the students in this daily food serving chore. The deputy warden keeps an eye on this side of food serving. Otherwise excess amount of breakfast would be served generously to some boys by their close friends, who are in the serving section of the students.

After having their breakfast, the boys go to the nearby taps and clean their plates and glasses. Tea, peppered with a little amount of Bournvita powder, is also served after the intake of the hard breakfast (perhaps to burn the hard things settling inside). The permitted number of idlies to be served to a boy is four. As regards the dosas, which are served on Sundays, which are comparatively preferable to other breakfast items, for almost all the boys, the authorized count is two only, strictly speaking. Other items of breakfast are served somewhat generously, depending on the real and visible parameters of the age and size of the students concerned.

In fact, for many of the boys, the amount of breakfast served is not enough. What can they do! The school is not rich enough to provide the students with adequate amounts of food because the funds given by government to this food division are poor because India has been a poor country for long and also because the state of Andhra Pradesh has been poor for long.

There was a small hotel in Bhoopatipalem. Some students, who have enough money to buy those costly items of food, paying high prices, would frequent that hotel. The head of this hotel, who was the head cook of our school mess, would get a good profit from this hotel. Rich students don’t mind the money when their stomach is drying up with hunger due to lack of enough food from the school mess.

The breakfast round is over by about 7:45. Then the students rush to the playground near the school for attending the Morning Prayer. We call our prayer program “Assembly”. Every day, during this Assembly time, a teacher stands before the students, and once the prayer is over, he or she delivers a brief message on a moral meant for ideal human life or on noble personalities like Swamy Vivekananda or Mahatma Gandhi. Also, our Principal A Satyanarayana, a fat one with rich scholarship, would give an impressive speech on some issue. Some pieces of news would also be read out this time by the scheduled student of the day, the snippets of which would be written down listening to the news on television the previous night by the student concerned. This was meant for improving the communication skills of the students and lessening inhibitions and personal disorders like stage fright. This was also to allow the students to have a basic understanding of the occurrences taking place around them beyond their physical and mental reach of the daily life. The essence of a moral would also be explained (read out) by a student. It would be scripted by our Sanskrit teacher. This moral carries a verse (sloka) from the Vedic scriptures in Sanskrit. Its essence would be explained in plain words as a little narration. This program ends by 8:00.

After the Morning Prayer, the boys rush to their classrooms because it is time for their classes to start. Many teachers are competent in their respective subjects of teaching. The school was built there, among hills, to benefit from the abundance of silence spread across, on all days and nights. It is beyond the distracting noise of vehicles and people. Serenity of the locality is assured at any time. Four periods take place till 11:00. Then interval ensues. During this time, teachers would have coffee, which would be brought by a staff member from the school mess. Students   (some of them) rush to the nearby retail shops, where some eatables are available for them to buy. They buy biscuits, chocolates, jeeds (a native sweet dish prepared with highly melted and hardened jaggery substance, the seeds of sesame being applied on its surface), cakes, Mysore Paks (a native sweet), janticals (a native dish, creating little noise in the teeth when being chewed to swallow) and so on. Thus the boys cool down their hunger for some time.

Once let me investigate into the reality of their hunger: the boys take their breakfast around 7:00. The following meal (lunch) is only after 1:00. Thus there is a gap of six hours between their breakfast and lunch. It necessitates the intake of some eatables and/or drinks in between because they are at their growing stage of age.

The fifth period starts by 11.15. Three periods go on till 1:00. By 1:00 the teaching classes of the day would be over. Hungry students run to their dormitories. They take their plates and glasses and rush to the taps near the hostel mess for cleaning them once again before moving to the dining hall. They stand up in a line, one after one, depending on the order of their arrivals. The food serving would be going on in the dining hall and the line would be moving on outside. The boys in the line wait hungrily for their turn to come to sit peacefully and have their meal. The dining hall was not spacious enough for all the boys to sit at a time and have their food. So, some students remain standing in the line for long waiting for their turn. They can’t move ahead until the first batch of boys finish their food and go out. This is a disgraceful situation for students to stand in a line hungrily waiting for food.

Once the dining hall is filled with boys and some teachers, all stand up to chant the prayer: “Om Sahanaa Vavatu, Sahanou Bhunaktu, Sahaveeryam Kara Vaavahai, Tejasvi Naavadeethamastu, Maavidvi Saavahai, Om Shaanti, Shaanti, Shaantihee”. After this prayer, all the boys and teachers start having their food. Until this prayer is chanted together by all the attendees in the dining hall, one should not start having one’s meal. It is a rule for all. The food serving batches of students would be from the eighth and ninth standards on a rotation basis. Some hand signs have to be shown to call the holder of a particular food item to be served. The holder of the rice item must be called lifting the left hand and showing the index finger. Water carrier is to be called showing the three middle fingers of the left hand. Buttermilk is to be called showing the four fingers (excluding the thumb) of the left hand. Rasam or Saambar is to be called showing the five fingers of the left hand. Silence must be maintained throughout (as a rule). It is true that there are many rule breakers being influenced by talkativeness, the common human disorder. However, predominantly, it is all the action part of the fingers and the mouth to call and chew the food items.

The food is not as good as the one at our homes. It does not mean it is bad either. It is manageable in that context and environment. Different curries are cooked daily. Dal (cooked red gram) and Rasam are available every day with lunch and supper. Saambaar is served only with the lunch on Sundays. The curries are potato, yam, sweet potato, plantain, okra, aubergine, peas, kidney beans, raw jackfruit, cabbage, cauliflower, angular gourd, bottle gourd, cucumber, gherkins, tomato, carrot, beetroot and so on. The curries are not much tasty. Curries and buttermilk are served limitedly to students. There are no limits on the amount of rice to be served on demand. There are no limits on any food items to be served to teachers. After the lunch, students go back to their dormitories. Some of them nap for a while. The dining hall would be swept neatly by sweepers soon after the breakfast, lunch and supper.

By 2:30 students go to their classrooms. This time they are supposed to pursue silent reading or written work. There are no classes by teachers in afternoon hours. A subject teacher sits in a chair in the classroom, watching the students, scanning whether they are reading or writing something or not. This is called Day Study.

Day study would be over by 4:30. Then the students go to the nearby playground for club activities in which a talk by a student on a subject takes place. This was introduced to cultivate the habit of public speaking in the students and thus help them turn into active speakers in future. After this activity, the boys rush to the hostel mess. This time tea or coffee is served to them. They serve snacks like roasted groundnuts, fried Bengal gram or beans with oil and chilli powder as evening refreshment.

By 5:15 boys go to playground for their sports and games. They play different games and sports like football, volleyball, badminton and basketball. Sixty percent of the boys like cricket and play it everyday. Shot put, javelin, long jump and high jump are also practiced. Our students participate even in the district level sports competitions. This active playing equips them with enough physical strength. I think these activities are important for every student to have sound health. But, I had no interest in these games and sports. I somehow could not find them attractive. Mahatma Gandhi regretted his neglect toward physical exercises in his childhood, which became one of the causes for his fragile constitution in his latter years.

By 6:00 the boys return to their dormitories. Some bathe this time. By 6:00 the bell for supper rings at the hostel mess. All the boys go to dining hall with their plates and glasses in hands. Some of them carry homemade pickles, ghee and homemade powders in their washed plates to have them with the rice. The serving procedures and the batch of students to serve would be the same as it is during time of lunch. After the prayer is chanted by all, the students begin eating their supper.

The supper time comes to a close around 7:15. Then they go to their classrooms for their Night Study. Silent reading or writing takes place this time. A teacher supervises this, sitting in the classroom, as it happens during the Day Study. Some students escape from Night Study hours and go to dormitories to sleep. Teachers check dormitories frequently to prevent these escapes by tricky students. They allow only sick students to rest there on iron cots. Night Prayer (the Sanskrit sloka, daily chanted before taking meal in dining hall) would be sung by all students together, after the night study, before leaving the school for that night.

By 9:30 the boys return to their dormitories. This time also (while returning to their dormitories from the school after the Night Prayer) some students buy eatables at those small retail stores by road. After going to their dormitories, they engage themselves in animated talking (friends between or among themselves). Film stories, singing songs, reading books, playing jokes and such other recreational activities constitute this regular pre-bed observation. Some teachers, who rest in abodes near our dormitories, get disturbed by our noise. They come out and order us to switch off the tube lights and sleep. When the teacher goes inside, after giving his formal instructions to us, the same noise begins again.

Around 10:00 or so, the students go to sleep. Thereafter silence prevails about the dormitories. Everywhere only darkness rules. One fears to step out during these night hours though the tube lights are brightly shining on walls. Melodious and mysterious sounds of insects and birds of the night enter our sleeping places to warn us not to step out of the dormitories. Anything might emerge out of thick darkness around to take us away from our safe abodes of physical security.

It is the daily routine of our boys. Then, let me write about some other things.

New students, who join this residential school for their fifth or eighth standards of study, are the ones that are mostly scared of staying here. There are quiet hills all around. There is hardly any unfamiliar human presence. Some students can’t live there in such testing circumstances and silent surroundings. So, they go back to their houses, leaving this horrific school for the sake of their sensitive and happy lives back at home. Some students write letters to their parents like: Dear father/mother, I am not doing well. I can’t live in this hilly region. I don’t like to be here anymore. I am living like a parrot in a cage, which does not have liberty. I will commit suicide if you don’t come and take me home at the earliest. I don’t like to study here even though it is too good a place to miss. So, I hope you would come here soon and take me back with you. Anxiously waiting for your early arrival to this place to take me home, your loving son, Chiranjeevi/the name of the student concerned.

In some cases, the parents come to their sons, being afraid of the consequences, in view of the contents of the letters written by their homesick sons, and try to persuade them to stay back for the sake of their good and affordable education, saying sweet words or giving them money, or homemade sweets prepared with affection for their beloved ones, who are staying away from them. Even then some boys cry before their parents and show them that they are very much in loss of them. Some students remain there for education, being ready to face any woes. Some students don’t like to be there at all. So, they return to their homes to live happily with their parents, relatives and friends. Then they invite other merit list students in the entrance test to join the school to fill these vacant seats. Such students (like me) form part of the  waiting list.

Newcomers are the preys. They take time to adjust themselves to the ambience of this silent region. There are hardly any sounds around. Some cyclists or bullock carts travel on this road from Manyam Vaari Palem/Govinda Puram to Molleru Mallavaram and vice versa. Most of the time, silence rains over this land. The minds of the boys incline to desert this place soon and escape from the assault of this sleepy atmosphere around. Staying away from their parents, siblings and others at such an age of their life, looks like a hell to them. It seems like a challenging task for outsiders to stay there even for a night. My brother Sambha, who came there twice, during my stay there, rushed back that day itself, being unable to sleep there for a night also.

When the bus arrives in the evening, the boys go to it and throw innocent looks at passengers in it. The passengers, sitting in the bus, think that the boys are lucky ones because they got a chance to study in such a good school. The students, standing outside looking at them, think that they are enjoying free life out there unlike them. When their parents come to see them, their faces glow with happiness. When they (their parents, friends or relatives) get into the bus to leave, their faces turn dim. Their hearts sink into gloom. They sadly look at the moving bus because it is taking their darlings away from them, making them solitary and homesick again.

If a student can stay back there for two months or so after his admission, he may be there till the end of his studies. Some students leave the school after one or two years of their studies (rare occurrences). Those that stay back gradually learn to live happily with their newly created friends. They slowly engage themselves in games, club activities and studies to forget the feelings of homesickness and solitude. They begin to love their friends, the surrounding hills, the playground, the hotel, the shops, the trees, the dormitories, the air and the ambience there.

I think that this school was founded in 1980. Because Colonel Dr. D S Raju donated about 100 acres of his land for this school, it was named after him as “Dr. D S Raju Andhra Pradesh Residential School”. Incidentally, my eldest brother’s name is also D S Raju, who served in the Indian Army for 17 years, though in a small rank.

Every academic year about 315 students pursue their studies in this school. There were about 15 teachers in all. There were many kinds of trees around the school like mango, cashew, Indian gooseberry (Emblica officinalis) and so on.

In summer, some boys wage war on mango trees. The buyers of the seasonal mango crop have to keep their eyes open day and night to save their crop from the invasions of these tricky boys. Teachers and principal often warn the students not to do such mean things but they carry out their secret acts regularly, perhaps a bit carefully, so as not to be caught by the garden keepers.

Boys wash their plates and glasses themselves. Many of them wash their clothes on Sundays. Some students utilize the services of the washerman provided by the school. There is a barber also. The students need not pay money to the barber or the washerman. The state government pays them depending on the number of students they served. Many students do not put their clothes to the washerman because he takes a long time to bring them back after the wash. Sometimes, the clothes put to the washerman, get lost. The barber comes to school on Sundays from the nearby village Molleru Mallavaram and cuts the hair of the students very fast because there would be many students in the queue and he, one. If one gives a five-rupee note, he does his work somewhat stylishly. Money makes many things!

There were two wells. The water in the small one was polluted due to the sticks and dry leaves dropped into it by boys and the nearby trees. The water in the big well could be used for drinking and bath. Some students bathe at the small well if there is heavy rush at the taps. They seldom go to the big well for a bath. Mostly the bathing goes on at the 12 taps near the hostel mess.

The word ‘next’ was mostly used among students during breakfast, lunch and supper times. Since there were a few taps only, the student on wait tells the plate cleaning one ‘next’, implying that he intends to use it after him as a reserved tap.

In our school, eatable stuff would be called ‘store’. If one’s parents bring something to eat, one’s friends ask one if one’s parents brought one any ‘store’. Close friends often share the store among themselves. If a boy goes to a retail store here, he asks the storekeeper if there is any ‘store’. Thus any eatable would be called ‘store’ here in the context of our residential school. The teachers in our school ask the students if there is any store with them. If the student replies, “Yes sir, is”, the teacher says, “Bring me some”. Some students say, “No sir”, to escape from them. They also ask for pickles and ghee from students.

Here the quality of water seems to be bad. Many students catch skin disorders like itch and eczema. That’s a curse to students here. Holidays are given for Dasara (15 days), Sankranti (15 days) and finally the summer vacation (45 days). Some students take leaves in between using the well-known excuses of sickness for which they need to go home to get them cured. For minor excuses, teachers and principal seldom grant leaves. I never asked for leave during my three academic years there.

Now and then little quarrels occur among students. Sometimes they go to the principal to get their disputes resolved. Some students develop enemies due to their serious quarrels with a few. However, they shun their enmity in course of time and become good friends again.

The school organizes some functions now and then. In Kaarteeka Maasam (a holy month for the Telugu people) the ‘Garden Party’ and toward the end of every academic year, in February or March, ‘School Annual Day’ would be celebrated. Different cultural activities like break dance, folk dance, playlet, odd news (Vintha Vaarthalu), mimicry and so on would be presented by some students. Local dignitaries like district educational officer or joint collector would be invited as chief guests for the school anniversary. This would be a memorable occasion for students. Many bring their parents, relatives and friends to this occasion.

Even the garden party is a memorable occasion for all in the school. The students, the teaching and non-teaching staff of the school, and their relatives gather at a mango garden, which is about one kilometer from our hostels. This venue would be cleaned neatly on the eve of the garden party by the staff of the school. The parents of students would also be invited for this occasion. Songs are sung (the regular classes and study hours would be cancelled for that day and night by teachers) and feature films are showed on the school television. Videocassettes of Telugu feature films would be hired and brought from Jaggampeta. Different kinds of eatables would be prepared. This location would be green and cool to be thoroughly enjoyed by the students and their dear ones engaging themselves in carefree activities of their personal choices. They behave like monkeys in this beautiful mango garden without any authoritative instructions from their teachers. The surrounding hills echo with the melodious cine songs emerging from the loudspeakers.

Deepavali is also an occasion for the students to celebrate grandly. During nighttime on this day, the A and B section students of the tenth standard position themselves opposite each other near the hostels as two rivals. The sound packed firecrackers fly ferociously between the two groups generating the expected excitement in a full swing. This is a dangerous game of fun because it is a silly play with angry fire. Teachers try to control the zeal and thrill of the students because they are centered around the unruly fire but the excited minds of the boys don’t mind the sound pieces of advice from their old-fashioned teachers.

Because all these boys belong to tenth standard, who are going to leave this place soon, completing their studies, and also because they are going to enjoy liberty in the outer world soon, they consider Deepavali as the ultimate occasion to celebrate in this school. At night, a big effigy of Giant Raavana would be burnt in the playground around 9:00. Firecrackers would be burst in the playground by the 5^th, 6^th, 7^th, 8^th and 9^th standard students. Their parents bring them for them or they buy them from the nearby shops.

Another occasion for the students to celebrate considerably is the eve of the New Year Day. That night majority of the students remain awake. They spend happily listening to the latest cine songs. When the long awaited hour is nearing, around 11:30, all the students form a long line and move toward the residence of the principal, which is situated on a hillock, in some distance to and altitude from the playground by the school buildings.

One of the marching students shouts ‘Happy’ and the rest add their chorus ‘New Year’ aloud, which makes the other sleeping creatures in the huts also wake up, and know that the New Year has just arrived. All the boys go one after one and greet the principal shaking their hands with the latter’s. Then they greet and shake their hands with those of their teachers and friends.

The following day (the first day of the New Year, which has just arrived) some boys give greeting cards to their teachers and friends. Teachers offer apples and bouquets to the principal to celebrate this occasion. The principal does not take the offered apples to his residence but gets them sliced and distributed to the students in the dining hall during their lunch. The boys send New Year greeting cards to their friends and relatives in advance.

We had 5 dormitories, 12 taps, one dining hall, one kitchen room and two mess storerooms. The school complex comprises one office room, one library room, one natural science laboratory room, one physical science laboratory room, one computer room, one television room (for watching films for recreation and videos related to our learning), one principal room, one A.T.P. (Acting Temporary Principal, I think) room, one mathematics room, one social studies room and one games room. Our school has a truck also.

The classification of standards of studies are Fifth standard, Sixth standard, Seventh standard and A and B sections of Eighth, Ninth and Tenth standards. Those that join after their fourth standard (after the entrance test) into the fifth standard of the residential school form part of A section and those that join eighth standard after their seventh standard (after the entrance test) form part of the B section. Every academic year, the A and B section students of the tenth standard leave the school and students are admitted to the fifth and eighth standards. So, every academic year, there would be a student strength of about 325.

The only way to enter this school is through getting a good rank in the statewide entrance test for admission into the respective Andhra Pradesh Residential Schools (A.P.R.S., which we students sarcastically used to expand as Annam, Pappu, Rasam and Saambaar (Rice, Dal, Turmeric soup and Soup with all the vegetable and masala ingredients respectively) located in all the districts of this state. 

There is difference in the quality of education being provided by z p high schools and A P residential schools. Our teachers are recruited after an entrance test facing a tough competition. So, it is thought that they are competitive in their respective subjects of teaching. Majority of our students are also intelligent ones and the proof lies in the high level positions they take up later in their lives, which is mostly imaginary rather than recordable with statistics. The statewide entrance test, to some extent, helps take the intelligent ones into these schools. The regular study hours and the residential nature of education enhance the discipline of students and guide them toward further levels of academic achievements.

There were hardly any girl students in our classrooms because ours is a ‘Residential School for Boys’. This may be one of the reasons for why students studying here can concentrate on their studies, not being distracted/disturbed by girls around, who stay far away from our imaginations also. However, the drawback of this system of education is that these boys hardly inculcate fine and brave manners of socializing with girls. To be loved by a girl, or, to love a girl of our class, when we are in our age of ignorance and innocence, is a earthly heaven, which no male student should ever miss. There won’t be any memorable event in one’s life if one fails to suffer the tragedy of love failure in one’s teenage. Suffering due to failure of ignorant love is many times greater than the pain generated out of aloofness from the near and dear ones of one at such a tender age.

We residential school students are the victims of the world in the sense that we can’t enjoy the coquettish smiles and the interesting talks of the girls in our familiar school environment. We are doomed to ill-luck of a lifetime in this regard. Nobody can bring back those days into our lives to enjoy them later. Making a girl love us through our hard efforts is a great experience never to be forgotten in the domain of our personal life. We neither have that art nor clients to deal with. To steal the sensitive heart of a beautiful girl in her formative age of growth is a great issue related to youth. We miss this game of mutual admiration. To love somebody is never a crime but trying to gain the fruits of that holy love through immoral and indecent manners and acts is a sin. Love should be sweet to remember later. It requires the agents of participation to be sensitive and sensible toward the other always. I think we missed this heaven. So, we residential schoolboys used to look at any girl like a star of the heaven that came to bless us with her very presence.    

Quality education is imparted here. Many teachers are friendly and available to us all the time. They stay in their alloted rooms beside our dormitories. We can get our doubts clarified by them because they are in our access. Or else we can benefit from the intelligence of our classmates because they spend with us day and night.

We residential schoolboys respect and love our teachers because they live with us as affectionate relatives than formal and rigid teachers. We have no differences of community, religion or region among us friends because we live together day and night. We know well how to conduct ourselves in terms of our physical hygiene and financial matters. We wash our clothes, clean our utensils and arrange our belongings. Thus we inculcate good habits practicing self-discipline and self-control. We value friendship in the place of relationship, which forms based on one’s birth. We read newspapers and books available in our library to improve ourselves psychologically. We play sports and games under the guidance of our drillmaster to be physically strong.

Solitude in childhood caused due to separation from parents and relatives allows the young minds to accustom to the philosophical loneliness of human life on earth in the latter years. Habit formation is the cornerstone of personal conduct. This dimension of human behavior gets tuned well in our hostel life for years. Thus the students grow into tolerable individuals at early age. It helps them be successful in facing life later because they are already part of an education system that teaches them how to be good boys as students (disciplined study orientation) and social entities (coexisting with other students of various places).

Let me check the dark side of the subject at hand.­ Students remain confined to a particular area. There is no freedom to enjoy one’s childhood as a free bird, which everybody likes as an ordinary human being. Staying away for about three or six years, from their relatives and parents, affects them considerably. They may turn into introverts. They mostly gain knowledge from textbooks and so bookish as such. They may get good marks through hard work because they have ample time for it but they lag behind in understanding the outer world beyond their school life. There is hardly any opportunity for them to experiment with their formative age. Always being submissive toward their familiar superiors like principal or teachers seems good to others but not to the individual for developing into a brave and rational entity.

One cannot play the regional games like Astaa Chemma, Gooti Billa or Golis (marbles) (these three games are known to a few Telugu speaking people of the seventies and are hardly played by the present children living in cities but are still found being played here and there in villages). Studying day and night, to take the annual examinations, is so mechanical and tedious that life becomes boring and artificial. Being punished, when poor marks are scored, is a demerit of the educational system. Reciting text, given in the prescribed books, word to word, to paste it on the answer sheets, during the examinations, via hand, using pen, drawing it out from the natural computer known as ‘human brain’ is a mechanical process. It ruins the creativity of the formative young brains.

Doing every personal work like cleaning plates, washing clothes, sweeping the hostel rooms and classrooms makes one grow toward too much self-reliance thus not allowing others to share their chores in a friendly or professional manner out of their love for them or helplessness of livelihood issues. The sickness of the lonely heart, desiring to see the beloved ones at home, never gets cured, unless the dream is materialized, which rarely occurs. They remain amateurish in matters of love and concern for others because they spend their time in closed quarters for long.

Being a bookworm deprives them of practical understanding of the realistic world, which is more important for one’s latter life. They don’t know how to deal with cruel and corrupt people outside. Happiness cannot be found in occasions like birthday, which should be celebrated along with one’s parents. Celebrating it simply among one’s classmates (regularly seen faces are hardly lovable to majority of the humans) kills its spirit of joy.

Standing in a queue for food makes a bad sight for their sensitive parents. Undesirable traits like homosexuality (I personally dislike such acts being practiced by creatures of same gender) might develop in some residential schools and colleges. Indulging in occasional thefts and looking strangely (like beasts) at those beautiful (the word ‘beautiful’ differs in its definition depending on the vulnerability of the participants in evaluating the object of beauty. In this context, the boys crave to see any female and so this word loses its essence) girls and women that come to their school (now and then) seems funny or abnormal to outsiders.

They enjoy the serenity of the place to some extent but they can’t understand and cope with the speed of the age outside. They crave for homemade eatables but helplessly satisfy themselves with the available items of ‘store’ at those retail shops. There is no chance to see enough feature films going to cinemas. There won’t be parental care or affectionate treatment by anybody if somebody falls sick.

There are no girls to talk with and slightly lessen the deadweight of the heartstrings of the innate fascination for the opposite sex. I remember the daughters of our Upper Division Clerk (U.D.C.) and the school truck driver. The prior used to study along with the boys as a staff member’s daughter and the latter went out daily for her studies. These two girls appeared as goddesses of earthly beauty in that isolated area of my student life.

In the annual examinations of tenth standard, copying took place to some extent. This could be from the answer sheets of classmates or from books depending on the helplessness of the students concerned. I remember giving my answer sheet to one of my friends in our exam room during the annual examinations for him to draw the picture of human digestive system on my Natural Science paper because I am poor at drawing. Copying was to save the poor students in some subjects and thus to make them get first class at least to keep up the fame of the school as ‘the achiever of 100% success rate, that too with all first classes’. Copying is a last resort rather than a policy of the school or the habit of the students. I wrote all my papers without looking into those of others because I could do it. To achieve the goal of the overall success of the school in the annual examinations, some supervisory staff can’t help remaining blind (in observation of ethics in the conduct of examinations) now and then. The bright students have hardly time to write their papers.

The food being provided by the school is not of good quality. The state government must be blamed for it. They allocate meager funds to these schools and their maintenance.

The bright student of a class in a particular subject is called ‘Pundit ‘ (scholar) in our terminology of the residential school. So, the titles like ‘Hindi Pundit’ ‘English Pundit’ and ‘Science Pundit’ are often heard among us in this school. I was the English Pundit in our class.

The much heard rumor about the residential schools is that the money allotted to these schools would not be used for the aimed purposes of the schools. The principal, the deputy warden, the lower division clerk (L.D.C.) and the upper division clerk (U.D.C.) must be eating some of this money sanctioned by the poor state government.

We have a small post office also. Our students anxiously wait for letters and money orders from their friends and parents.

In every class, one singer and one artist would be informally identified. They participate in singing and painting activities if there is any occasion among our classmates or a competition by the school. In some classes, there are dancers also.

Our students exploited the sweet tuber (Karra Pendalam) crop cultivated near the school.  

Our, or for that matter any residential school, is a blend of good and bad. Days and nights pass on happily in the school once accustomed to the ambience. Once the dates of the annual examinations are announced by the state government, our tenth standard students begin to prepare very hard because they are the ones supposed to uphold the fame of the school for that academic year passing cent percent with higher first class or distinction marks. They don’t find time even to eat, bathe, talk or change clothes during this time. They even stop writing letters during this time. They exert regulations on their sleeping hours as well. Some students remain unaffected by the feel and tension of their fellow students for the nearing examinations.

Many students go to the nearby hills or the mango garden to find silence to prepare well. I never went to distant places for this purpose. I lay on the iron cot in my dormitory and prepare. This is the most testing time in their academic life because the marks they achieve in their tenth standard decide their eligibility or suitability to enter profitable courses of study later.

Parents and relatives of the students are allowed (formally) to meet them on Sundays. They bring homemade eatables, pickles and curries for their homesick children studying here.

I used to go to a nearby place called “Bheemuni Paadhaalu” (the feet of Bheema) now and then along with my close friend Jasthi Uma Maheswara Rao of Mallisala. This classmate of mine used to bring eatables like cheese made with buffalo milk and jaggery from his home frequently. He offered me those items with affection for me. I greatly enjoyed his friendship here.

When the annual examinations come to an end, every student feels totally liberated. When a student lives at this school in Bhoopatipalem, it appears him like hell because there are hills around but not their desired liberty. After leaving this place, it appears like heaven because they can seldom find such tranquil land of beauty to live in and study. If we think about this school, a night, sitting alone, in an easy chair, it plays before our mind’s eye like a classic and unforgettable dream, something that can be thinly sensed, not relived. It is the celebration of innocence and primitiveness of one’s student life.

On the eve of the day of the last annual examination (Social Sciences-Paper 2), every student gets ready with his luggage to take home. This is advance preparedness to leave the place immediately after the final examination, the following day. Some private vans would be informally deployed by the local vehicle owners to meet the rush of students. I think the school authorities inform about this in advance to the local owners of vans.

Students collect the postal addresses of their friends in a small book. In that book, details are asked to be filled in, in the lines of one’s date of birth, advice, one’s liking names (particularly the name of one’s sweetheart) such as one’s favorite cricket player, film actor, film actress, autograph, etc. Finally they bid farewell to their friends. They tell their close friends to write letters frequently to keep in touch. They request them not to forget them at least. They ask them to meet them now and then if possible.

It is a paradoxical situation to the students for two reasons. To leave close friends is a matter of pain and to enter a new life after the residential school education is a context of liberation and celebration.

Slowly, the van or the bus the student gets into, begins to make sound and moves ahead. The night arrives soon. By then 90% of the students would have left this place. Native earth suffers to digest the truth that her innocent kids went away from her lap. Thereafter they will be her very rare guests, who will hardly have time to go to see her. The mute hills around cry to miss their little creatures. Gradually darkness spreads across the region to hide the tears of the forest.

In retrospect, I remember a few fragments of my school life, which I would briefly mention here.

My eldest brother Datla Srinivasa Raju, who was serving in the Indian Army then, used to come to see me when I was studying in Bhoopatipalem. He sent me money (through postal Money Order) now and then. Once he snapped me with a small camera in the premises of this school. He brought sweets for me when he came to see me.

My maternal grandfather K Subba Raju came to see me once or twice. Some of my relatives also came to see me. My father Datla Venkatapathi Raju never came to see me after I was admitted into this school. Perhaps he must have thought that it was waste of time and money to come to see me. My mother Datla Sita Devi did not come even once to see me in Bhoopatipalem.

My maternal uncle Kolukuluri Appala Narasimha Raju (from village Gollalagunta, whom I call ‘Uncle Varma’) was an affectionate and lovable person to me. He came on his bicycle to take me back to home after my education in Bhoopatipalem on the day of the last examination. He tied my small iron box (containing my luggage) at the back of his bicycle and took me to Gollalagunta to send me to our rented house in Ramayyapatnam from there.

I remain grateful to these few people forever in my life for their contribution to a bit of happiness in my school life. I wore formal shorts till the completion of my tenth standard. I followed left parting hairstyle (drawing a line with a comb on the left of the head allowing the hair to fall on to the both sides in a flat manner). I was ugly. My nose was blunt to make me uglier. My maternal grandmother K Buchchiyyamma, who looked after me for five years, during my education from the third standard to seventh standard, at the upper primary school in Gollalagunta, used to often ridicule me about the ugliness of my blunt nose (calling me ‘a blunt nose fellow’).

I washed my clothes ever since I started my third standard in Gollalagunta. I silently cried for my mother now and then when I was studying in Gollalagunta and Bhoopatipalem. She was so innocent that she never thought that I wanted to see her as a child, sick of motherly love. She used to read a bit in Telugu and write her name in that language. My father knows to read simple Telugu and write his name (‘sign’ generally implies stylish writing in formal occasions on important papers) on documents. He spent most of his life as an ordinary employee in the Etikoppaka Cooperative Sugar Factory at Darlapudi (near village Etikoppaka, where this factory was initially founded)  and because ours was a poor family, he could hardly devote his time toward us three male children.

My eldest brother D S Raju joined the Indian Army only to escape from the poverty of our family. My elder brother D Sambha Murthy Raju stopped his education after his tenth standard. He is not good at studies. He managed our mango and cashew gardens (yielding a little income every summer). Thus, much of my childhood was associated with the district of East Godavari. I was very much a homesick child during my school life. I was one of the most ignorant and innocent boys of the world at that time. I thought it was wrong and abnormal on my part to wear trousers because I was not a considerably grown-up creature by then.         

After my residential school education in Bhoopatipalem, I returned home. I forgot to mention an important point. I met with an auto rickshaw accident one evening in March or April in 1992 when I was coming back from Adduroad to Kothuru (Ramayyapatnam) on the main road where government’s tamarind trees stood on both sides of the road near village Neeladri Puram. The driver of the auto rickshaw I was traveling in applied a sudden brake to avoid hitting a small girl, who was hurrying across the road, out of ignorance or fear. I was forcefully thrown out of the auto rickshaw and fell in the empty paddy field beside the road. The heavy jolt of this accident pushed me out. One or two stones pierced through my chin and split the skin. I turned unconscious soon after this accident. My brother Sambha Murthy Raju, who was coming behind me in another vehicle, noticed this accident. He rushed me back to Adduroad for immediate medical attention to arrest the bleeding on my face and save my light life. No doctor dared admit me because it was a medico-legal case. At last, a BHMS doctor dared and stitched the split part on my chin together. The scar (representing those surgical stitches) stayed back on my chin as a reminder of this fatal accident in my childhood.         

My father thought that I would get a well-paid job if I pursue polytechnic course. Eventually I was sent to Guntur for getting coaching to the entrance examination into polytechnic. I joined the Tadikonda Study Circle in Guntur, the head of which came to our residential school in Bhoopatipalem once for publicizing about their coaching center. I proved worst at mathematics. I got my rank in thousands in the Common Entrance Examination into Polytechnic (CEEP) in 1993 and 1994. I began to dislike mathematics and science subjects from then onwards.

Being hopeful of my success in that entrance examination, I did not join any junior college after my tenth standard. So, I lost my academic year 1993-94.

After consultation with my teacher uncle Venkata Rama Raju and considering my apparent poverty at mathematics and science subjects, proved by my poor performance in this entrance examination, I took the H.E.C. group (the combination of History, Economics and Civics as a group of core subjects of study) in Intermediate.

I started my first year Intermediate (in Andhra Pradesh, this two-year course of studies, after the tenth standard, is called ‘Intermediate’ because this stage of the hierarchical study pattern is like a junction between the school and graduate level of studies in a student’s educational life) from 10 August, 1994, in the Government Junior College at Yellamanchili/Elamanchili (the prior spelling is presently in use by public and authorities and the latter one is the real one, not in much use now, and only seen on the name boards of the railway station). Some advised me to choose the M.P.C. (the combination of Mathematics, Physics and Chemistry as a group of core subjects of study) or Bi.P.C. (Biology, Physics and Chemistry) group. I did not follow their wise advice in this regard because I clearly knew what I was at those subjects. It was the right decision for me based on my abilities. The fruits of my decision can be found in future only, I thought. I applied only to one group for admission at this college. I have good marks in my tenth standard (473 for 600). I found that I was the first student to be offered a place in the H.E.C. group, when I checked the list on the notice board.

I did all those periodical tests in the class well. Eventually I earned a good name in our college. Many thought that a student with such marks in his tenth standard is rare to take the HEC group, which was/is considered as a waste group by many contemporaries and was/is supposed to be taken by academically poor and financially weak students only. So, I appeared them as enigma for some days after joining this college because they were unable to understand me perfectly from any perspective. I continued in the same group.

I proved competent at my studies in this college. I got a prize in the elocution competition on the theme “Films and their Influence on Society” in Telugu. I got a third prize [Andhra Prasasti (the glory of Andhra Pradesh), a book of verse in Telugu by Viswanadha Satya Narayana (a famous figure in 20^th Century Telugu Literature)] in some other competition. I daily commuted to and from Elamanchili by train. I bought season ticket every month for 75 rupees.

The trains I mostly travelled by between the stations of Narsipatnam Road and Elamanchili were Tirumala Express (Train No. 7487 and 7488), Godavari Express (7007 and 7008), Bokaro-Alleppy Express (8689 and 8690) and Kakinada-Visakhapatnam Passenger. I enjoyed regular train journey.

Everybody in my class was thinking that I would get a first class in my first year Intermediate. The annual examinations were just around the corner. My lecturers were also confident that I would get a first class.

To tell the truth, getting a first class in the H.E.C. group of Intermediate is not a joke and a rare occurrence in majority of the government junior colleges. No use of great feelings and being elated by others’ appreciation. I should try hard. I should believe that my destiny favors me. I was also confident that I would get a first class. I prayed gods and goddesses to bless me with a first class to realize the expectations of my lecturers and friends. I was doing my best and leaving the rest to the mercy of heavenly bodies. Till this point of my personal diary of 1995, I wrote in retrospect, recollecting some events and occurrences of my childhood. Hereafter a daily account of my life follows. Welcome.

8 March (Wednesday)

Today I spent much time at home. Today I prepared Telugu notes. I worked out a preparation schedule. I divided my preparation schedule into five divisions. Four days of time is allotted to each subject, including Telugu. However, the preparation of English extends from 20 to 28 that is up to the eve of the day of the first examination. I prepared Telugu well. I prepared all the notes my lecturer gave in the classroom. Notes on a few lessons were not given due to many holidays caused by Assembly Elections etc., in which the lecturers have to compulsorily participate. I took the Telugu Hope Examination (a pre-final examination conducted by the college with the question papers prepared by our lecturers as a preparatory assignment for the final examinations) well. I have to prepare well. I gained some insights about the Telugu question paper. I could know how to face the final examinations after taking these hope examinations. I prepared a few questions and answers well. Other types of questions and answers, based on long essays, letters, non-detailed text etc., are yet to be prepared.

9 March (Thursday)

Even today I prepared Telugu. Yesterday evening I went to the marriage of brother of Shiva. They are living in Gajuwaka now. It was held at the house of bride in Court Street in Elamanchili. I went there by Simhadri Express by 4:40. I enjoyed the feel of the occasion. The marriage went on well. Several dignitaries came to this marriage. My brother Sambha Murthy Raju and my uncle Narayana Murthy Raju also attended it. The bridegroom was considerably handsome. The bride has deformity on the right of her face. She is a B.A. The ugly deformity on the right of her body (about which I knew from the people around there) may be a curse to her. Anyhow the bridegroom must be considered good because he married her despite knowing about the deformity on her body. Today is the last day for my preparation of Telugu before the exams. Again I will scan it just before the day of examination. Today I spent at home. I wish me the best in the coming examinations.

10  March (Friday)

Morning went to Gurrajupeta to meet my younger paternal grandfather Dharma Raju (the younger brother of my paternal grandfather Thammi Raju) to request him to come to Molleru Mallavaram along with my father (from the side of the bridegroom party to form part of the heads of the family to formally negotiate with those of the bride party about the marriage) to finalize the marriage of my eldest brother D S Raju with bride Sandhya Rani. He said he is very busy attending various domestic works. He did not come to talk with my father. I went there on bicycle. I returned very soon. Then I attended the auspicious and entertaining program of the marriage of the sister of V S S K Varma, my close friend of residential school background. Had my lunch along with him by 3:30 in Ramayyapatnam. Then I went to vote for the Congress party in the Praadesika and Zilla Parishad elections. My polling number is 853 and hers (Lakshmi’s) is 108. Then I went to Peda Gummuluru, to send those application forms, signed by my brother Sambha, by registered post. Returned home by 2:30. Evening went to Narsipatnam Road railway station. I knew that there is no any passenger train after 11:00 p.m. from Visakhapatnam to Kakinada till the following morning.

 11 March (Saturday)

Last night the Hindi feature film at 9:00 on Delhi Doordarshan was “Jurmaana” of Amitabh Bachchan. I did not watch it. My brother Sambha watched it for some time. This early morning, at about 2:00 or 3:00, my father started to Ramula Deva Puram (also known as Tank Bead) for discussion with Venkatapathi Raju (also called Chanti Babu), the maternal grandfather of the bride (in relation to the marriage of my brother D S Raju). This discussion may be about dowry, formalities, Muhoortham (the auspicious moment of time at which the tying up of the holy thread by the bridegroom in the bride’s neck has to take place. It is crucial in a Hindu marriage and has to be decided quite in advance to the actual date of marriage by the Purohit concerned) and some other important things. He told that he would meet my teacher uncle Chitti Babu (Venkata Rama Raju, my father’s cousin) before going to talk with the head of the bride party. Even my paternal and maternal grandparents reach there by 12:00 today. My father took a two-day leave from his sugar factory to attend this task. He returns home on 13. Today and tomorrow are the days for me to prepare economics.

12 March (Sunday)

Today I spent most of my time at home. The results of the recently held Mandal Elections were declared. The contestant, representing the Congress party, won in our village. I felt happy at it. Evening the Telugu feature film on Hyderabad Doordarshan was “Lakshmi”. I liked it. Today I did not prepare economics even a bit. Today it was very hot.

 13 March (Monday)

Today I went to our junior college by 10:30 by Tirumala Express. There were no classes today. History lecturer came to our class by 1:30 and told that he would lecture on Vijaya Nagara Empire tomorrow. Other lecturers did not come today because it is the day just after the day of the Praadesika and Zilla Parishad elections in which they participated as authorities. Returned home by 4:00 by Bokaro-Alleppy Express. It arrived at Elamanchili by 2:00 and departed by 3:30 because there was a trouble with a goods train at Narsipatnam Road railway station, at the same place, where once the derailment of the detached wagons of a goods train had occurred. The railway track is damaged there even this time. My father returned from Gollalagunta by 11:00 this morning.

 14 March (Tuesday)

Today I went to college by Tirumala Express (7487 down). I attended the classes by 12:30. Firstly the history lecturer came to the classroom and lectured on “Vijaya Nagara Empire” from the Indian History, which remained untouched so far due to many holidays. Economics lecturer Mohan Rao came by 2:00 and lectured on “Dhravyam” (Money) and “Banking”. There were only a few students in the classroom because it is time for them to prepare for the approaching annual examinations. They lectured well on these two lessons. We, the few students, paid much attention to their lectures. Classes were over by 4:00. I went to railway station and waited for Godavari Express till 5:25. Traveled in its reservation compartment and reached home. I did not prepare well during these holidays. Whatever I prepare before the examinations has to be shown on the answer sheets.

 15 March (Wednesday)

Today I went to college by Tirumala Express. The history lecturer discussed “Roman Civilization” and “The Crusades and their Impact”. With these two lessons, the classroom instruction of the history subject came to an end. The history lecturer told us to do the annual examinations well. Today’s is his last lesson to our batch of first year Intermediate students. The economics lecturer did not come to the class. He has to attend the last two lessons. Today the Telugu lecturer came and gave notes on the lesson “Kavitha Paandithi”. Returned home by 4:15 by Tirumala Express. My monthly train season ticket expires on the 19^th of this month. Today my brother Sambha brought a beautiful pup from Adduroad. Night I watched the Hindi feature film “Apnaa Bhee Koee Hota” on Delhi Doordarshan. It was good. All of our lecturers and my classmates and friends think that I am an intelligent student and that I would get a first class in the annual examinations of the first year Intermediate.

 16 March (Thursday)

Today I spent much time at home preparing civics. I completed 15 lessons. Night I did not study. I hope that Lord Krishna, Lord Shiva and Mother Saraswati give me enough power and help me get a first class. This year the mango crop is bad. Buyers and owners of mango groves are worried to bear the poor yields. They are afraid that they may go bankrupt eventually. They say that it never happened like this before. Some believe that the failure of mango crop may be due to the heavy pollution caused by industries now. Buyers of mango gardens are helpless and disheartened to see those unproductive and poor mango trees. Cashew crop is comparatively better. Sad looks remain with us if we go to the middle of a garden and throw a glance at those tall and green trees standing helplessly without the beauty of crop. Went to sleep by 9:00.

 17 March (Friday)

Today I spent all my time at home preparing civics. I finished refreshing it in my mind from A to Z. I will touch it again just before that exam. Night the Hindi feature film on Delhi Doordarshan at 9:00 was “Mere Saath Chal”. I thought that this film would be good and so continued watching it till the end. But, it is not a wonderful film like “Ek Dooje Ke Liye” or “Mile Tere Gale Me” which I like very much. This film portrays the life of a mentally retarded woman. She gets on well with the reliable love provided to her by her dedicated lover, forgetting her past tragic event, which made her mad. Thus their lives highlight the importance of intense and pure love between two human beings to live happily, sharing each other’s difficulties wholeheartedly. Today it is Holi. I slept around 12:00.

 18 March (Saturday)

Today I spent much of my time at home. Today I prepared very little. My overall preparation for the ensuing examinations is nominal. Whatever I study just before the exam matters much in deciding my performance level. Today I could prepare history for a little time only. This effect is due to my being awake up to 12:00 last night, watching the Hindi feature film. It made me sleepy during daytime today. Sleeping well during nighttime is very important. Daytime sleep can never compete with the nighttime sleep. Evening my brother Srinivas telephoned my brother Sambha. My maternal grandfather came from Gollalagunta to change the Muhoortham date of my eldest brother’s marriage and also to attend some other matters related to his marriage.

19 March (Sunday)

Today I spent all my time at home. Today I did not prepare my subjects even a bit. Spent most of my time resting on bed. Evening the Telugu feature film on Hyderabad Doordarshan was “Vikramaarka Vijayam”. There was power cut. So, I could not watch it completely. Night my maternal grandfather went to Gurrajupeta. My salutes to my Lord Gopal.

 20 March (Monday)

Today I stayed at home all the day preparing Indian history and some questions and answers in world history. The important reason for my being at home all the day is to find silence around. It can be utilized only when we are away from the tumult of society and the gossip of familiar ones. One’s mind should be completely concentrated on one’s studies only during the period of one’s examinations. For this reason only I stay at home day and night. Ample physical energy is also necessary for taking tough examinations well. I am not being provided with satisfactory inputs for this purpose. I feel sorry about this. Today is the last day for my history preparation but yet much is left to prepare. Tomorrow I will prepare it for a while. Today ended well.

 21 March (Tuesday)

Today I spent all my time at home. Today I prepared the left out part of the world history up to 11:00 and from 12:30 onwards the preparation of English went on. I decided to continue the preparation of English up to 29^th of this month, which means eight days at my disposal. I have not allotted such a long time for the preparation of any other subject. There is much to prepare in English. Today I prepared the meanings of a few difficult words. The last two lessons “India Old and New” and “The Sleuth Complex” remained. I would prepare them tomorrow early morning from 4:00 to 6:00. Today I want to sleep a bit early because my eyes became weak. My English lecturer, all my friends and I also hope that I will get good marks in English. But, it depends not only on my preparation and aspiration but also on the blessings of gods and the direction of my destiny.

 22 March (Wednesday)

Today I spent all my time at home. Today I completed the preparation of the meanings of the difficult words in the left out English lessons. Then the preparation went on reading the poems “Bangle Sellers”, “Ninth August 1942”, “Invitation”, “Thy Gifts”, “At Woodward Gardens” and “Laugh and Be Merry”. I read all these six poems and understood them well. I also prepared the synonyms and antonyms related to these poems. Our English public examination takes place on the following Wednesday. In this regard, I need the blessings of Lord Ganapathi, Mother Saraswati, Lord Krishna, Lord Shiva, Lord Brahma and our English lecturer Jaya Prabha. I want best wishes from all my friends. I wish to achieve the same level of marks, which I got in English in my tenth standard. Gods and Mother Saraswati have compassion for me. They enable me to go ahead.

 23 March (Thursday)

Today I spent all my time at home. Today I prepared two lessons: “An Open Air School” of C F Andrews and “The Secret of Work” of Swami Vivekananda, the disciple of the great Indian saint Ramakrishna Paramahamsa. I prepared these lessons from A to Z. I carefully stored the synonyms and antonyms related to these two lessons in my mind. These two lessons are very interesting and exciting for me to read. I also prepared the ‘language work’ sections, which are given in the pages after the lessons. Swami Vivekananda’s ideal notions on work are discussed in the second lesson. My prayers to my Lord Krishna and to Mother Saraswati, the Goddess of learning, to give me enough strength, skills, memory, creativity, health and an opportunity to face the English paper well. Oh gods! Bless me. At the same time, I know that everything in this creation occurs according to one’s destiny only.

 24 March (Friday)

Even today I spent all my time at home, sitting in the easy chair, keeping the English textbook in my hands, preparing the lessons “The School Master at Tolstoy Farm”, “Why Climb Mountains” and “India Old and New”. Preparation went on well reading the lessons from line to line and understanding their internal meanings, which enables me to write relevant and impressive answers at the time of examination. Understanding lessons well is important in my view. Of course, even if we prepare the lessons from A to Z, the matter we work on hard may not remain completely in our brain. But, our role is to prepare well. The fruits of our efforts would be delivered to us by God. I am doing what I can. God decides the rest.

 25 March (Saturday)

Even today I spent at home. Today I prepared the left out part of the English lesson “The Sleuth Complex”. With this, the preparation of the lessons in the main text and understanding them well was over. Then, the preparation of the prescribed grammar book was started. Today I worked on sentence corrections using the First Year Intermediate English Guide, prepared by an English lecturer from Markapur. Even today I prepared articles and had a look at the grammar structures given in the previous question papers. Night, by 8:30, got a phone call from my uncle Varma in Visakhapatnam. He told that he would come here on the 30^th of this month.

26 March (Sunday)

Today I spent all my time at home preparing for the examinations. Today I prepared English grammar. I should try my best. I am doing it. God decides the results of my endeavors. Evening the Telugu feature film on Hyderabad Doordarshan was “Yuga Dharmam” of Krishnam Raju and Jaya Sudha. I liked it. I pray God to bless me with ample energy and spirit to face the ensuing examinations well.

 27 March (Monday)

Even today I spent all my time at home. The annual examinations are approaching fast. Today I prepared the remaining sections of the English grammar. I prepared almost everything related to our prescribed sections of grammar. By 1:00 the preparation of the three marks questions and answers of the poetry and prose lessons was started. The preparation of the questions and answers of the prose lessons “The School Master at Tolstoy Farm”, “Why Climb Mountains”, “India Old and New”, “The Sleuth Complex” and “Science and Society” is due. It has to be attended tomorrow, the day just before the day of English paper. Even today there was no power supply throughout the night. I pray Lord Krishna and Mother Saraswati to bless me and enable me to face these exams well.

 28 March (Tuesday)

Today I spent all my time at home. The English paper takes place tomorrow, the day on which my preparation has to be presented on answer sheets for getting my desired marks. Eight days of intensive preparation went on to attack this paper, avoiding cowardly looks at the question paper. I prepared my best for English. I utilized every second, giving some rest to my brain in between, for changing from one topic to another. Morning went to Narsipatnam Road railway station and collected information about the arrivals of trains, in early morning, toward Visakhapatnam, which have halts at Elamanchili. The available trains in order are Tirupati-Howrah Express, Vijayawada-Visakhapatnam Passenger, Godavari Express (Hyderabad-Visakhapatnam) and Kakinada-Visakhapatnam Passenger. My schedule is to wake up early and walking toward the railway station after having my breakfast at home. My hymns to my mind to remain active and deliver the devoured content, all these days, on to the answer sheets.

 29 March (Wednesday)

Went to Narsipatnam Road railway station and took Tirupati-Howrah Express around 4:15. Reached Elamanchili within 20 minutes. Got off the train and walked to the temple of Lord Anjaneya Swamy near our junior college. Sat there for about one hour. By then the light of the day spread all over the land. Then I started my preparation; I mean just scanning the previously prepared content. By 7:30 went to the college and took my hall ticket. My registered number for these public examinations is 1200848. Entered the Room Number 13 A and sat down on the floor. The question paper was given out around 8:10. Scanned it quickly. Then wrote the answers fast. Answered the question paper very well. I felt happy at it. The sincere endeavor on my part was over. The result has to be decided by God. I did my assigned work well. Paying for it justifiably is His responsibility. Day after tomorrow, i.e., on 31^st, Telugu paper takes place. Today and tomorrow, the preparation of this subject goes on.

 30 March (Thursday)

I started the preparation of Telugu from 8:00. Refreshed the memory of the previously recited questions and answers of lessons. Scanned all the lessons fast. I already recited the questions and answers adequately. So, today I could memorize them easily. I prepared even the essay type questions and answers of the non-detailed text well. Again I will refresh them tomorrow morning at the temple of Lord Anjaneya Swamy. Our Telugu lecturer hopes that I would get better marks than other students in our class in this subject. I too want the same. I have a plan to strategically face this examination. I would allocate an amount of fixed time to answer the selected questions of the paper. I should not exceed it. I hope that I would get satisfactory marks. I pray Lord Krishna and Mother Saraswati to give me required skills and active memory to face this paper competently. Today my uncle Varma came from Visakhapatnam. My schedule is sleeping soon, getting up early and walking to Narsipatnam Road railway station.

 31 March (Friday)

Got up early and started to railway station by 3:30. Tirupati-Howrah Express had just left the station. Waited for the next train at station for more than one and half an hour. Vijayawada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 5:00. Reached Elamanchili within 20 minutes. The daylight had already spread profusely. Sat at the temple of Lord Anjaneya Swamy and ran my eyes fast on all the portions of main Telugu textbook and non-detailed textbook for two hours. Went to  college by 7:30. Mine was the same room, 13 A. But, the place of my sitting was changed. The question paper was handed out by 8:10. Had a glance at it and started writing down fast. The paper was somewhat tough but I activated my brain and faced it well. I felt satisfied with my bold attempt. I thank God for His support in this adventure. Today my uncle Varma left for Gollalagunta. Today I relaxed considerably keeping preparation aside for sometime.

 1 April (Saturday)

All the day stayed at home. Today it is Ugadi, the first day of the Telugu New Year. Ugadi pickle was prepared at home. Today I prepared economics. I pray God to help me recollect the answers and face the papers well. If I do these group subjects also well, I can be  happy. If I can’t get first or higher first class, what about my value in the hearts of my friends and lecturers and also myself. I can’t imagine such situation befalling me. So, I pray gods to enable me to fulfill my desire and derive pleasure.

2 April (Sunday)

Today I prepared economics well. Spent all my time at home. Evening the Telugu feature film on Hyderabad Doordarshan was “Illarikam”. I liked it. Today Godhuma Raayi was set at our house to formally start the marriage related works of my brother Srinivas. Afternoon a Punjabi feature film was presented on Delhi Doordarshan. I liked it. My salutes to Lord Krishna.

 3 April (Monday)

Today I stayed at home all the time. Prepared questions and answers of economics from the notes given by our lecturer. The classroom instruction of the lessons of this subject was not completed. Preparatory notes were also not provided for the last five or six lessons. This was not because of the neglect of the lecturer completely but due to many holidays given with the effect of political elections. We lost something in respect of our education on account of these holidays. First year classes were also started late. Leave it. Today I finished the preparation of economics by 5:00. I should go to bed early tonight and wake up early morning. Going to railway station and taking a train is my schedule. Even though there are some drawbacks in my preparation of this subject and from our lecturer side, I hope that I can face the economics paper well with the blessings of Lord Krishna, Mother Saraswati, Lord Vinayaka and with the favor of my destiny.

 4 April (Tuesday)

Woke up by 3:30. Reached railway station by 5:00. Vijayawada-Visakhapatnam passenger  arrived by 5:30. Reached Elamanchili by 5:50. Went to the temple of Lord Anjaneya Swamy and prepared there up to 7:30. First prayed Saint Shirdi Sai Baba and then Lord Anjaneya Swamy to bless me with success. Went to college by 7:35 along with my friends. Had a look at the notice board for the registered numbers and the room allotment information. Found my room to be 14 and went into it. All the students sat on the floor of the examination room. The question paper and the answer booklet were given out in time. Scanned the question paper for once. “Very easy. Thank you God”, I felt and started answering the paper fast. Maintained speedy writing. Helped others revealing answers to some objective type questions toward the end of the exam. Returned home by 12:30. Spent rest of the day without preparing any subject.

5 April (Wednesday)

Today I stayed at home all the time. This early morning my uncle Rama Raju (husband of my maternal aunt Raja Kumari) brought paddy bags in a van from Gollalagunta as part of his residential and professional shift to village Raja Venkata Nagaram to work as a supervisor in the 30-acre coconut estate of Datla Subba Raju of Visakhapatnam, popularly known as Toorla Raju. He came here along with his family. Today I prepared the notes of civics from A to Z. My preparation of civics is completely different from that of other subjects. My group of subjects, I mean “Arts”, is a branch of studies mostly related to recitation (remembering something memorizing it repeatedly). My recitation of civics subject is different from others. This subject has lengthy essays. So, I read every question and answer only for once. Blind by-heart style was not followed. I think this may affect me in facing civics paper well. Let it go. Also prepared objective type questions and answers from the latest Vikram series test papers. Going to bed early tonight, waking up early morning and going to railway station is my schedule. I pray Lord Krishna, Lord Ganapathi and Goddess Saraswati to help and guide me in this regard.

6 April (Thursday)

Woke up by 2:30. Freshened up myself by 3:00 and started to Narsipatnam Road railway station. Tirupati-Howrah Express arrived by 3:45. It started by 4:00. Reached Elamanchili by 4:20. Went to the temple of Lord Anjaneya Swamy. En route submitted my prayers to Saint Shirdi Sai Baba. Then, at the temple of Lord Anjaneya Swamy, offered my Namaskarams (putting the two palms together in reverence for God) to Lord Anjaneya Swamy. Turned the pages of civics notes and Vikram series test papers fast. Reached the college by 7:40. By 7:45 walked into Room No. 14. All the students sat down calmly. The question paper and the answer booklet were given out in time. Maintained speedy and orderly handwriting. Faced the paper well. Satisfactory result is left to be given by God. Returned home by 1:00. Evening and night prepared map pointing and objective type questions and answers of the history subject.

7 April (Friday)

Today I stayed at home all the time. Started preparing history from 8:00. The notes I prepared for this subject is very large. There is no time to read it once or twice completely. So, a very speedy recollection only. Anyhow history is a “high story”. It is difficult to remember the names of the rulers, incidents, circumstances and various dates. Today I prepared objective type questions and answers also. I am not sure of saying that certain marks can be scored in this subject. I don’t know if I can face this paper satisfactorily. This subject is such one which makes the reader bewilder to read and remember. Prepared the history notes very fast. I pray Lord Shiva, Lord Ganesh, Lord Krishna, Lord Anjaneya, our History Lecturer Shri Mallikarjuna Rao, Goddess of Learning and Pity for Students Mother Saraswati and all the other gods to bless and enable me to face this group’s main subject history well. Going early to bed, waking up early and reaching Narsipatnam Road railway station is my schedule ahead.

8 April (Saturday)

Woke up early morning and went to railway station. Took Tirupati-Howrah Express by 4:00. Began recollecting previously recited answers fast at the temple of Lord Anjaneya Swamy going through the notes. Also scanned all the objective type questions and answers in the test papers and my long notebook. Went to our college by 7:40. Our Room Number was 8. The question paper was given out in time. I wrote the answers fast. The question paper was somewhat easy. Maintained much speed in writing. Completed the main paper and map pointing by 10:45. Then helped others revealing answers to some objective type questions. For these First Year Intermediate Examinations, I took 25 additional answer sheets (excluding the main answer booklet for each exam). These examinations were conducted between 8:00 a.m. and 11:00 a.m. My first year intermediate chapter of life is over by today. My Namaskarams to all gods. Afternoon saw the Telugu feature film “Aame” of Sri Kanth and Ooha in cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir in Elamanchili to celebrate the end of these annual exams in my style.

9 April (Sunday)

Today it is Sri Rama Navami (the birth anniversary of Lord Sri Rama). Morning went to our purchased mango and cashew garden (for this seasonal crop) at village Panduru. Strained much while returning in the afternoon due to hot sun. Afternoon the Tamil feature film “Roja” was presented on Delhi Doordarshan. I liked it. Evening the Telugu feature film on Hyderabad Doordarshan was “Vaagdhaanam”. I did not like it much. Today I spent happily. My salutes to Lord Krishna.

 10 April (Monday)

Today I stayed at home all the day. There were no good programs on television today. It was too hot to go out. Today my mother went to the abode of my maternal aunt Raja Kumari at hamlet Raja Venkata Nagaram, which is by road from Adduroad to Revu Polavaram. Today I spent my time watching Hindi serials on Delhi Doordarshan like Shanti, Junoon and Swaabhimaan. My thought follows, “Attempting and succeeding in making one love is easier than forgetting that bond after the attachment, physically or psychologically, if that relationship is firm and warm. Love is created by material attractions of humans and is strengthened through deep understanding between those two sensitive and mutually faithful hearts. This is my basic opinion about the concept of love”.

 11 April (Tuesday)

Early morning went to Panduru on bicycle. Spent there in our mango garden (bought by my father for this summer crop) till 4:00. Started back by 4:30 and reached home by 5:30. I brought cashew nuts in a gunny bag tying it at the back of my bicycle. Today I could not have my lunch. This is what I did today. Something about yesterday. Yesterday, around 1:45 p.m., Morarji Desai, the former Prime Minister of India and a great personality in the Indian politics, who lived for 100 years, passed away. Many offered their condolences. My thought follows, “Love is a type of shock in the beginning and makes the heart of the lover or love a rock later enabling him or her to face any tribulations on the way and thus allows them to succeed ultimately. Love develops very fast in human hearts but cannot be erased off  that easily. A fool dreams of the happy moments of the days after his marriage but a wise fellow starts to think how to lead every day happily after marriage. But, the latter cannot enjoy his love life as good as the prior because the rational assessment of future disturbs the happiness of today’s fantasies”.

 12 April (Wednesday)

Morning went to Raja Venkata Nagaram to see my uncle Rama Raju. They have been living there for the last one week. Reached there by 10:00 and spent there till 4:00. I took Narendra Varma (their younger son, who is studying in Ramayyapatnam, staying at our house) also along with me. Returned home by 5:30. Today, the cremation of the body of Morarji Desai, the former Prime Minister of India, took place on the bank of River Narmada in Gujarat. The Government of India announced seven condolence days as a gesture of national grief over the demise of this great man of India. Sorrowful music is being presented on television and radio. We lost a great Indian who lived by standards and values rather than for money and fame. We can’t see such a politician in India now. His death disturbed me. By today all the Intermediate examinations of this academic year came to an end in Andhra Pradesh. From tomorrow, the summer vacation starts for all Intermediate students. Today my father went to Tuni to buy a new bicycle for him. He daily goes to the cooperative sugar factory at Darlapudi on bicycle.

 13 April (Thursday)

Early morning went to Panduru on bicycle. Started collecting cashews from the trees by 7:00 and continued it till 2:00. I could not have my lunch today. Returned home from Panduru by 5:40. Had good supper and slept. Yesterday my father bought a new BSC bicycle for 1,900 rupees in Tuni and brought it here. It’s looking beautiful with all its required parts. Today I spent all the day in the mango and cashew garden near Panduru. My thought follows,  “Love can be enduring if each of the two lovers is ready to face woes and joys equally. Mutual respect and trust are the other two important requirements of this system. This polluted and sinful world of Kali Yuga would be so wherein majority of the people neither bear to see others being happy nor help others while in difficulties. Being pure by character and helping or guiding others toward happiness brings the little real happiness and satisfaction into anybody’s life”.

 14 April (Friday)

Morning went to our own mango garden by hills. I stayed there all the day and night. There the work we did was collecting cashews from the trees. I cooked food for me and our co-worker. Went to sleep early in the night. My thought follows, “A man, who helps a blind man, is greater than one, who  prays God closing his eyes, requesting Him to keep him away from troubles of this world. Human life is essentially a blend of many tribulations and very few joys. Man should be ready to face them with patience and perseverance. Then only God helps one navigate one’s life with a balanced spirit. Someday this profane world of evil creatures and odd occurrences would be reformed and purified by God. Love is blind. It makes one forget the realities of the material world and shun the directives of one’s common sense. This occurs when one is deep in material love with another person. Once rooted deeply in love relationship, it is hard to come out of that trance. Getting together by socially or personally preferred mode of marriage and then leading a jovial love life is the only good solution left out”.

 15 April (Saturday)

Morning started to our mango and cashew garden at Panduru on bicycle. Reached there by 10:00. The collection of cashews from trees, along with our co-worker, went on till 2:00. Started back on my bicycle by 5:00 along with a gunny bag of cashew nuts at my back. Reached home by 6:00. Afternoon the Hindi feature film on Delhi Doordarshan (the Indian Government’s primary television channel is called so. The Hindi word ‘Doordarshan’ means ‘television’ in English) at 4:30 was “Naag Naagin”. I could watch the last one and half an hour part of this film. It was interesting. Today my father went to Gollalagunta. From there he goes to Molleru Mallavaram. Today I spent well being at home at night and going to bed by 9:00 unlike there in the mango garden where silence haunts at night and where there is no entertainment at all. Night went to the Panchayat office in our village expecting a call from my uncle Varma in Visakhapatnam. He did not ring up. I returned home and slept.

16 April (Sunday)

Morning went to Panduru. Returned home by 11:00. From 12:00 to 1:00 listened to cine songs on radio. Went to weekly market at Adduroad by 2:00. Afternoon the classic Telugu feature film “Siri Vennela” was presented on Delhi Doordarshan. I could not watch it. Evening the Telugu feature film “Kulamaa Gunamaa” was presented on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Today I spent well. My salutes to Lord Krishna. I dedicated my life to Him.

 17 April (Monday)

Reached Panduru by 7:00 on bicycle. Did the cashew collection work till 3:00. Then started back and reached home by 5:00. From 6:00 to 7:00 listened to melodious cine songs on radio. I like listening to cine songs of different languages. It pleases me a lot. It instantly relieves me of my depression and fatigue at a low cost. Confucius, the Chinese philosopher, says that the human life can be made satisfactory and delightful with inspiring music. He opines that music must be made a part of human life to lead it easily. Some say that even stones and rocks melt by bliss arising out of listening to melodious music. Music has such spell of healing in it. I like film songs much. They soothe me while listening to them on radio. My thought follows, “Many human beings desire to achieve a great level of material recognition and fame. The pity is such achievements are beyond mere human wish and are mostly controlled by various other contributing factors”.

 18 April (Tuesday)

Early morning went to Panduru and did the cashew collection work till 11:00. Then took my bicycle and reached home by 12:00. Had my lunch and rested on bed. Got up from the bed by 3:00 and went to the front of our rented house to sit on the floor and watch the traffic of men and women, carrying drinking water, on the path from our village well. Today I received a letter from my friend Krishna Varma of residential school in Peda Boddepalli near Narsipatnam. Wrote a reply to him and posted it. In that letter I wrote him that I did all my Intermediate First Year Examinations well. Evening our family Purohit  (this Brahmin is from our family related clan of Purohits, who are chosen and authorized to perform our marriages and such other domestic ceremonies in a traditional manner) came from the nearby village Koruprolu for discussing the auspicious things related to the marriage of my brother Srinivas. My father brought the color photo of the bride Sandhya Rani to be seen by us related folks and arrive at a conclusive decision regarding her suitability to my brother in beauty parameters. She is quite good and suitable to walk beside or behind my brother, who maintains a fast and imposing gait like an army officer. Evening watched Telugu cine songs on Hyderabad Doordarshan in its weekly program “Chitra Sudha”. Thus I spent happily today.

 19 April (Wednesday)

Early morning went to Panduru on bicycle for attending the cashew collection work from the trees. Did this work till 2:00. Then rested till 3:00. Tied the small gunny bag of cashew nuts at the back of my bicycle and started my journey back to home by 3:15. Reached home by 4:30. Then had my lunch and sat in the easy chair for physical and mental relief. Today we received an envelope from my brother Srinivas. He sent a wedding card related to his marriage. It is in English (this wedding card in English must be shown to his authorities as an evidence to request them for grant of leave to attend his marriage, the pity of the delicate lives of military folks in the world). In this letter, he wrote that he would join my brother Sambha also in the Indian Army. He stated that we need not worry about his joining the Indian Army. Today I went to bed early and started listening to the cine songs of various Indian languages on radio till late hours. Melody is the pudding preferred to be consumed by my mind on a daily basis to satiate its appetite for the delight of an artistic wonder. It is a good way to treat the tired heart and brain. Thus I spent happily today.

 20 April (Thursday)

Woke up early morning and had my breakfast. Took bicycle and started my journey to our mango and cashew garden near Panduru. There I attended the cashew collection work from 6:00 to 11:00. Then tied the gunny bag of cashew nuts at the back of my bicycle and started my journey back to home. Reached home by 12:00. Then put off my shirt and trousers, wet with sweat. Washed my feet and face. Then had my lunch. Went to bed and took a siesta for two hours. Today I received a letter from my friend P V Subrahmanyam Raju (also known as Bullet Raju) of Tanuku in West Godavari district. This is his second letter to me. So, I wrote the reply to his two letters and posted it. He is a good friend to me. I got him during my coaching in Guntur for the entrance test into polytechnic. Night listened to cine songs on Aakaasa Vaani (radio is called like this in India since the voice of the radio reaches the listeners on earth traveling through sky. These two words mean “the voice of welkin” in Hindi). Spending a happy day, went to sleep by 9:00.

 21 April (Friday)

Started to Panduru by 5:00. Today my father also came there. Did the cashew collection work till 4:00. Came back to home by 5:00. Had a bath, supper and went to bed by 9:00. Listened to cine songs on radio. Night the Hindi feature film on Delhi Doordarshan at 9:00 was “Ek Barsaat Ki Raat”.  Amitabh Bachchan and Raj Babbar played the lead roles in it. I could not watch it due to the overpowering sleep. Today, from morning to evening, I was engaged in intense work. I became very tired because it was very hot. So, I could not control myself from falling asleep. My thought follows, “To win love, it is not enough only if there is the desire to live together but also there should be the courage and commitment to realize it when testing moments befall to be tackled. Financial independence is its supporting mechanism only”.

 22 April (Saturday)

Morning went to Panduru for the daily work of collection of cashews. Our co-worker there told me that he is sick today. So, we could not carry out that work. Returned home by 7:45. Today I went to Adduroad to see a film along with Krishna Varma, my residential school friend. We saw the Telugu film “Subha Lagnam”. We enjoyed watching it. The message of this film is not to crave for excess material comfort, living in dreams, desiring to have more and more money but to find and retain a trustworthy life partner and to live a simple life with him, understanding the realities. Human desires are endless. One can’t fulfill them in one’s lifetime. To avoid difficulties and unrest in this regard, one needs to curtail the personal wish list time to time. One should be willing to lead a simple life as far as possible assessing one’s personal financial capabilities, leaving egos and false prestige. The familial and social support of a husband is very important to a poor Hindu married woman in India. A wife should give more importance to her husband than to money when she has to choose either one of the two. Night the Hindi feature film on Delhi Doordarshan was “Jhoothi”.

23 April (Sunday)

By 5:15 started to our own mango garden by hills on bicycle. Spent working there till 4:00. Returned home by 5:00. Evening the Telugu feature film “Bangaaru Bhoomi” was presented on Hyderabad Doordarshan. I did not find it much interesting. Today I spent well. My salutes to Lord Krishna.

 24 April (Monday)

Woke up early morning and followed my routine. Took bicycle by 6:00 and reached Panduru by 7:00. Attended cashew collection work there till 1:00. Took a siesta till 2:00. After sometime, a Reddy, a mango merchant, and another man came to our garden, to see how it is, because they want to buy it for this season’s mango crop. I showed them all the mango trees. They started there by 2:45 to meet my father for discussing the rate of this season’s mango crop. They bargained with my father and finally decided to pay 33,000 rupees. According to the informal agreement, they must also give us 200 mangoes. Cashew crop is ours. This means that only our seasonal mango crop was sold to them. I returned home by 4:45. Had my supper and went to sleep by 8:00.

 25 April (Tuesday)

Woke up early morning and started to Panduru by 5:30 on bicycle. The temporary co-worker we employed in our garden decided to quit his job because we rebuked him for a mistake he committed in our garden. So, I told him to come to meet my father for discussing this issue. He came to the sugar factory at Darlapudi by bus. I took him to my father. The issue was resolved. He was asked to go back to the garden and work honestly. He accepted his instructions and returned to Panduru by bus. Again I went there on bicycle from the sugar factory. There I had my lunch by 1:30. Stayed there till 4:30. Then started back and reached home by 5:30. Watched  Telugu cine songs on Hyderabad Doordarshan in its weekly program “Chitra Sourabhalu”. Went to bed by 9:00 and had sound sleep.

 26 April (Wednesday)

Woke up early morning and went to our own mango and cashew garden by hills to attend the work of collection of cashews from trees. My brother Sambha went to Panduru for attending the same work. Dolli Gadu (this name is given to him by villagers in Ramayyapatnam. His wife left him because he is ugly and blunt. He is known for honest and hard work wherever he is employed. I personally have great love for this honest man. He eats triple to what I eat. This disturbs me to consider him as an ordinary human being because I think that eating too much is an undesirable sign of one’s character), the co-worker we employed in our own mango garden, took firewood to our rented abode. He returned to our mango garden by 12:00. Then he had his much desired lunch. I had a siesta for one hour from 1:00. We started the cashew collection work by 2:00. It went on till 6:00. Then we returned to our hut in the garden and started preparing supper for us. He set fire to the wood in the brick oven. I cooked rice for both of us. We generally prepare soup or curry only for once in the morning and use the same with the rice in the afternoon and at night. My brother Sambha is a better cook than me. I am not good at cooking curries and soups. We cooked rice by 7:00. Then we cooked red gram in an hour. By 8:15 we had our hot supper together. Darkness already spread all over the mango garden. We went to sleep by 9:00. I slept well. Thus today I spent all the time in our mango garden. This location is good for nature lovers because the hills around bring forth melodious sounds once night is in. The ambience during daytime looks marvelous for bohemians and dreamers. Greenery here would certainly be a feast to the tiresome eyes of the modern mechanical humans. My thought follows, “Telling somebody to do something is easier than doing it oneself and experiencing its good and bad effects”.

 27 April (Thursday)

Woke up early morning in our mango garden and started back to our house in Ramayyapatnam. My brother Sambha was at home. Today cashew merchant Venkata Rao of village Koruprolu come to our house to purchase cashew nuts from us for the money we borrowed from him for buying the mango and cashew garden near Panduru. Eleven gunnysacks of cashew nuts were sold to him. Each bag of cashew nuts was sold at a rate of 2,100 rupees. This cashew crop is from the seasonal yields of our own cashew and mango garden by hills and the one we  bought near Panduru. I went to the house of my aunt Raja Kumari by 10:00. Spent there till 3:15 and came back to home by 4:30. I brought three coconuts from there. I took wheat for them, which we got from the ration depot in our village at subsidized price, supported by the Government of India, which is meant for the poor. Today I gifted my English grammar book, history and civics textbooks to my familiar ones Raju and Satyanarayana in village China Gummuluru. Night listened to cine songs on radio. Went to sleep by 9:00.

 28 April (Friday)

Woke up early morning. Started to Panduru by 5:00 and reached there in an hour. Our garden associate and I carried out the cashew collection work till 12:00. Then had my lunch and took a siesta for sometime. Got up around 2:00. Again we started that work. It was over around 5:00. Then took bicycle and started back to home. Reached home by 6:00. A pleasant journey went on from Panduru to our home. Had my evening bath and supper. Watched Telugu cine songs on Hyderabad Doordarshan in its weekly program “Chitra Lahari”. Night the Hindi feature film on Delhi Doordarshan was “Shakti” of Amitabh Bachchan. I watched it from 10:00 to 11:00. Also listened to melodious Telugu cine songs from Cuddapah radio station for sometime.

 29 April (Saturday)

Woke up early morning. Reached Panduru by 7:00. The cashew collection work was started by 8:00 and went on till 12:00. Then had my lunch and had a siesta till 2:00. Again the same work was started. It was over by 4:30. Rested for sometime and started back to home by 5:00. Reached home by 6:15. Today the seasonal crop of our own mango and cashew garden by hills was sold to a merchant for 15,000 rupees. My brother Sambha and Dolli Gadu came back to home with their little cooking and bedding material. Today my maternal grandfather K Subba Raju came from Gollalagunta. Night listed to Telugu cine songs on radio. Today I spent happily. Went to sleep by 8:30.

30 April (Sunday)

Started to Panduru by 3:00 and reached there by 5:00. Returned home by 9:30. Spent rest of the time at home. Afternoon the Gujarati feature film “Mehandi Rang Laagyo” was presented on Delhi Doordarshan. I liked it very much. Evening the Telugu feature film “Idhaa Lokam” was presented on Hyderabad Doordarshan. I spent this month well. My salutes to Lord Gopal.

1 May (Monday)

Got up early morning and started to Panduru by 5:30. Reached there by 6:45. Collected  spoiled mangoes. Put them in a gunny bag. Took my bicycle by 7:45 and reached home by 8:45. Stayed at home during the hot day. Started to Adduroad by 2:45. Sold one kilo of cashew nuts for 25 rupees at a retail store. Got dry red chillies milled at a flour mill for preparation of mango pickle. Returned home by 5:30. Merchant Reddy met me at Adduroad. He wants to buy even the seasonal crop of our cashew garden near Panduru. Evening a telegram came from my brother Srinivas at Ambala Cantonment. He intimated that he would come to Tuni by Link Express. He wanted my brother Sambha to come to Tuni for receiving him on the 3^rd of this month. Today I spent happily. I helplessly welcome the sultry May.

2 May (Tuesday)

Started to Panduru by 6:30 on bicycle. My brother Sambha had already gone there. Today we did the work of collecting cashew nuts from trees. It went on till 3:30. Then we got on to our bicycles along with the loads of gunny bags of collected cashew nuts and reached home by 5:00. Today my maternal grandfather Subba Raju returned to our house from that of my aunt Raja Kumari at Raja Venkata Nagaram. Evening listened to Telugu cine songs on radio. Went to bed by 9:00. Today the eighth SAARC convention was started in New Delhi. Mr. P V Narasimha Rao was appointed as the Chairman of the SAARC for a period of time. This session ends on the 4^th of this month. Many dignitaries spoke on this occasion. They decided that this year (1995) must be observed as “The Patience Year”. Today, the second day of the hottest month, I spent well.

3 May (Wednesday)

Today I did not go to our mango garden near Panduru. Went to Adduroad on an errand and returned home by 6:30. By 8:00 I took the carrier of lunch to my father in our mango garden by hills. There he was cutting firewood. It is needed for cooking dishes on the Upanayanam (a compulsory religious ceremony to take place before the marriage of men belonging to some Hindu communities in India) occasion of my brother Srinivas. My brother Sambha went to Tuni by a shuttle train for receiving my brother Srinivas, who is coming from Ambala Cantonment, on a leave of 64 days. My brother Srinivas came by Hazrat Nizamuddin-Visakhapatnam (Link Express) Express. They reached home by 2:00 from Tuni. My brother Srinivas brought a wristwatch for me. He bought it for 200 rupees. He said that it is a foreign piece. It has a black belt. It is looking well. He brought black wired chairs and Santoor toilet soaps for our domestic use. They came in an auto rickshaw from the NRPM railway station. Today I spent very happily. Went to bed by 8:30.

4 May (Thursday)

Woke up early morning. Today I did not go to our mango garden near Panduru. My maternal grandfather wants to go to their village today. Morning my paternal uncle Narasimha Murthy Raju came to our house. He took two chairs, which were brought from New Delhi for him, by my brother Srinivas. The price of each chair is 200 rupees. Today my brother Sambha went to Etikoppaka, to the house of Mr. Mohan Babu, the owner of the mango and cashew garden we bought near Panduru. My brother gave him 18 kilos of cashew nuts as part of the informal sale agreement of the cashew garden. Morning went to Adduroad along with my maternal grandfather and helped him take a lorry to go to Jaggampeta. Thence I went to Elamanchili by 10:15 to collect the suitcase from Satya Narayana, an army friend of my brother Srinivas. In Elamanchili I searched for a television booster switch at many shops but failed to get one. A radio mechanic directly connected the internal wire of the booster to avoid the need of a switch to put it on and off time to time. Returned home by 5:00. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on radio. Went to bed by 9:00.

5 May (Friday)

Woke up early morning. Today my brother Srinivas and my mother are going to Jaggampeta. Thence my brother goes to the house of my maternal grandparents in Gollalagunta. My mother goes to Molleru Mallavaram to see and talk for the first time with her daughter-in-law Sandhya Rani, who is going to become our sister-in-law soon. Night my mother may stay in Molleru Mallavaram or go to village Tank Bead. Night my brother Srinivas stays at Gollalagunta. My maternal grandfather and my mother go to Mallavaram from Jaggampeta. Tomorrow my mother, brother and some of our relatives from Tank Bead go to Rajahmundry to buy clothes for the ensuing marriage occasion. They buy saris also. Today, here at our house, I spent at home all the day. Today also, the firewood, which is needed for cooking work, which takes place on the day of Upanayanam of my brother Srinivas, is cut well. Evening my brother Sambha prepared supper for us in the absence of my mother. Listened to Telugu cine songs on radio for sometime. Went to bed sometime.

6 May (Saturday)

Woke up early morning. Swept our house neatly. My brother Sambha prepared lunch for us. Morning my paternal uncle Narayana Murthy Raju came to our house and said that he is going to Visakhapatnam for buying clothes. Today I did not go anywhere. Stayed at home all the time. Listened to Hindi cine songs on Sri Lanka Radio from 8:30 to 9:00. Then listened to both Telugu and Hindi cine songs till 10:00. Then played audio cassettes to listen to Hindi cine songs on our Philips tape recorder, which my brother Srinivas bought and brought. Stopped listening to songs by 11:00. Today it turned a little cool. The sky was cloudy. Today the old Telugu film actor Naga Bhushanam died in Hyderabad. Evening the Hindi feature film on Delhi Doordarshan was “Khudat”. Today I spent well. Went early to bed.  

7 May (Sunday)

Today I spent all my time at home. Today it is the birth anniversary of Rabindranath Tagore. Afternoon the Kannada feature film “Mysore Mallige” was presented on Delhi Doordarshan. I liked it very much. By 3:30 my parents returned from Gollalagunta. Evening the Telugu feature film “Bangaaru Panjaram” was presented on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Today I spent well.

8 May (Monday)

Woke up early morning. Today it was cool. The sky was full of clouds. Today my father, my brother Srinivas and I went to Tuni to attend different works there. We reached there by 11:30. We bought a few blouse pieces meant for women to be distributed to our relatives on the occasion of my brother’s marriage. We bought some other cloth items also. My father attended the task of marriage related gold ornaments. They gave me 200 rupees to buy readymade clothes for me for this occasion. I bought two Kumar (an Indian brand selling quality readymade clothes at very affordable prices to serve the lower middle class of India) shirts and two lungies (light cloth pieces worn by many south Indian males for a free flow of natural air to the lower half of the body) for wearing casually at home. One shirt is half-sleeved and the other full. The price of one shirt is 55 rupees and of the other 85 rupees. The price of each of the two lungies is 43 rupees. I chose these cloth items on my own. They are fine. Then I saw the Telugu film “Garaana Bullodu” in cinema Gautham. Three pairs of my brother’s cloth pieces (meant for getting shirts and trousers stitched) and one pair of my cloth pieces (which my brother bought for me) were given to the MBR Tailors at Payakaraopeta. We returned home by 6:00.

9 May (Tuesday)

Got up early morning. It started raining from 6:00. It was coming down slowly with breaks. It has been raining like this for the last two days. There is depression over the Bay of Bengal. Its impact is emerging like this. Fishermen, who live catching fish on sea, were cautioned by authorities not to enter it. It proves an interruption to this peak season of Hindu marriages, which is going to start in a full swing soon. Even to us. There is no chance to go out and do things for the fast approaching marriage occasion of my brother Srinivas. Electricity is not being supplied for the last two days due to this cyclone. Today I spent at home all the time. Rainwater is entering our rented house from the broken fasteners of the old tiles. These tiles must be replaced with new ones. The owner of this house did not pay attention to it despite our repeated requests to him. Three number local cyclone warning flags are being flown in the ports to alert the people living in the seaside areas of Andhra Pradesh. Today I followed a common routine of a normal human life on a rainy day.

10 May (Wednesday)

Woke up early morning. Today I did not go anywhere. All the day I spent at home. The cyclone, which has been on its moody ride for the last five days, stopped today, around 10:00. There was a little heat from 11:00 to 4:00 due to the sunrays working on earth. Today my brothers Srinivas and Sambha went to Elamanchili for booking a taxi for the journey of bridegroom to the venue of marriage, and for the bride and bridegroom, after the marriage, back to the bridegroom’s house. They paid 1100 rupees for it. My maternal aunt Satyavati and her son Hari came from Tank Bead by 6:10 this evening. Today the power supply was restored and maintained well by the people at substation in village Koruprolu. Today the buyer of the seasonal crop of our mango garden by hills paid us 9000 rupees. Earlier he paid 5000 rupees. He has to yet pay 1000 rupees to us. Afternoon my father brought the marriage related gold ornaments from Tuni. Night watched some Hindi serials on Delhi Doordarshan. Went to bed by 10:00.

11 May (Thursday)

Got up early morning. Morning it rained a bit. It is said that it continues for two more days. Today I stayed at home all the day. Even today it was cool. The works related to my brother’s marriage are going on in a fast pace. The days ahead seem rainy. Today my brother Sambha went to Elamanchili for booking a minivan or a bus for the journey of the attendees of my brother’s marriage in Molleru Mallavaram. He returned home in the evening. Many Hindu marriages are going to take place on the 20^th of this month. So, it became very difficult for booking anything related to marriage occasion. Evening my brother Srinivas and I went to the houses of my paternal grandparents and my paternal aunt Subhadra for giving them the clothes, which we bought recently for them to gift them on the occasion of my brother’s marriage. Still many things related to his marriage are left undone due to rain.

 12  May (Friday)

Woke up early morning. Even today the cyclone is on. It’s causing many troubles to the ones involved in marriage related works. Listened to Telugu cine songs from Visakhapatnam radio station from 9:00 to 9:45. Today my brother Sambha went to Elamanchili by shuttle train, for booking a minibus for the journey of attendees to the marriage venue in Molleru Mallavaram, along with bridegroom, soon after the occasion of Upanayanam. He booked a minibus for 2500 rupees. He also paid advance to the owner of minibus for getting it strictly reserved for us. Today I received a postcard from my friend A V Rao at Andhra Polytechnic in Kakinada. I wrote replies to some other friends as well and posted five postcards today. Evening wedding cards (printed in Telugu) of my brother’s marriage are brought. They are well. They are 150 in total. Today our women relatives at home were engaged in cooking hot and sweet dishes for the occasion of  marriage. Night listened to Telugu cine songs from Cuddapah station. Went to bed by 11:00.

 13 May (Saturday)

Woke up early morning. Even today the beautiful blue sky was completely covered by tricky and mobile dark clouds. It is the sign of a cyclone ahead. Even though weather is not favorable to us for doing necessary things, we are bound to complete them in time because important dates do not postpone themselves since it is raining continuously. It is common experience for every human being. Today, at our house, a small cement construction took place for the auspicious Upanayanam occasion of my brother. It was constructed in the front yard of our rented house. This is called Pendli Arugu in Telugu (a flat surface with small height on which the auspicious occasions of Upanayanam and Marriage take place in some Hindu families in India). It is fine. Today my brother Sambha distributed the wedding cards to our relatives in village Gurrajupeta. Evening he went to village Thetagunta to carry out that work. From there he goes to Jaggampeta (to the houses of our relatives in that area).

14 May (Sunday)

Woke up early morning. Started to Adduroad by 7:00. Thence took a lorry and proceeded toward Gajuwaka. Met my maternal uncle Varma. Had my lunch along with him. Thereafter I distributed the wedding cards of my brother’s marriage to our relatives there, including the family of my paternal cousin Shiva. There I bought a battery for the wristwatch of my father. Today I wore the new shirt I recently bought from the Kumar Showroom at Tuni. Returned home by 9:15. Evening Telugu feature film “Bhaktha Thukaaraam” was presented on Hyderabad Doordarshan. I could not watch it.

 15 May (Monday)

Woke up early morning. It did not rain today. The blue welkin is full of clouds. Today I spent most of my time at home. Today the construction of Pendli Pandhiri (a typical exhibit at one’s house, which can be seen during marriage or other auspicious occasions of the Hindus in South India, involving the arrangement of green and fresh mango leaves and/or coconut tree branches around and above the wooden posts in front of the house. The greenery of this exhibit is a symbol of prosperity to many mainstream orthodox Hindus in South India) took place at our house. It was built on the support of eight wooden posts. This work went on up to 3:00. Morning my maternal aunt Raja Kumari went back to their house at Raja Venkata Nagaram. She came here yesterday for helping others in the preparation of dishes for the occasion of marriage. Even today the cyclone is on. It is an obstacle to the marriages to take place soon. It never happened like this in my little knowledge. The Indian summer should be at its zenith during this time of the season. But, contrary to this, this heavy cyclone badly affected crops, road transport, marriages, railways and almost everything visible. Today my brother Sambha returned from Molleru Mallavaram. Even uncle Viswanatham (the younger brother of the father of the bride Sandhya Rani) came along with him from Tank Bead. Evening went to Adduroad and had my haircut. Went to bed by 9:00.

 16 May (Tuesday)

Woke up early morning. Today it was warm and so enjoyable against the preceding rainy days. The sun appeared brightly in the blue sky. This beautiful wonder of the sky occurred after a week’s heavy and continuous cyclone. This cyclone greatly affected the coastal region in Andhra Pradesh. So, today must be a bright day for many. By 8:00 this morning, my maternal aunt Narayana (Satyavati is her another name), cousin Hari and I started to the nearby railway over bridge, walking across paddy fields, to take a bus there, to go to Raja Venkata Nagaram, where the family of my uncle Rama Raju (the husband of my maternal aunt Raja Kumari) is residing. An APSRTC bus, going to Revu Polavaram from Narsipatnam, arrived around 9:00. We reached my aunt’s house by 9:45. Rested there for sometime. We had the juice of palm tree nuts (in Telugu we call them Thaati Kaayalu from which we draw the cool and tasty juice with fingers. This juice cools the burning thirst of villagers down in a more fitting and enjoyable manner than any other beverage available in the market or at home during summer) in the afternoon. My cousin Narendra Varma (Naren in short, is the younger son of my maternal aunt Raja Kumari, who studied staying at our rented house in Ramayyapatnam for some months. He was subjected to severe discipline at our house. It made him homesick and scared of us) is feeling and looking better here due to affectionate treatment by his parents. His mother is giving him a boiled egg and a glass of hot milk every morning. My aunt Narayana and cousin Hari stay here for this night. I returned home by 5:45. Evening Mahankali Satya Narayana, the army friend of my brother Srinivas, came to our house from Elamanchili. He stays here this night. Went to bed by 9:00.

 17 May (Wednesday)

Woke up early morning. Morning my brother’s army friend Satya Narayana left for his house in Elamanchili by Godavari Express from Narsipatnam Road railway station. It was very hot today. Again the heat of the month of May is showing its power as it should be in this season. The wet soil is getting dried up fast. Stayed at home all the day. Today I painted the frames of the wooden doors of our house with blue color, mixing cooking oil in it. Now they are looking better than before. Today my brother Sambha went toward Anakapalle for distributing wedding cards to some of our relatives living there. My father distributed wedding cards to his colleagues and engineers in Etikoppaka Cooperative Sugar Factory at Darlapudi. Evening my aunt Satyavati and cousin Hari returned from Raja Venkata Nagaram. Evening my maternal grandfather and cousin Vasu (the eldest son of my uncle Rama Raju) came from Gollalagunta. Went to bed by 9:00.

 18 May (Thursday)

Woke up early morning. The works related to my brother’s marriage are going on fast. Today my brother Srinivas and I went to Tuni. My uncle Narayana Murthy Raju, my brother Srinivas and I started to Tuni by 10:00 by a lorry from Adduroad Junction. Soon after getting down from the lorry, we rushed to cinema Sri Surya Mahal and saw the Telugu film “Subha Sankalpam”, directed by K Viswanath. I liked it very much. Soon after this, we went to buy footwear and other things. Two pairs of cherry colored chappals were bought. A fabric banner carrying the heading “Datla Vaari Pendli Bus” (the bus carrying the attendees of the marriage of Datlas) was already ordered. So, we took it from the painter. It is meant to be tied at the lower front of the bus while going to the venue of marriage. Then we went to MBR Tailors to collect the stitched clothes. The stitching was not yet completed. We waited there till it was over. Tailors look very busy during marriage season. Stitching was over around 10:00. We took a lorry and reached home by 11:00. Today my maternal aunt Soorya Bhaskaramma (from village Durgada) and my maternal grandmother came. Went to sleep by 11:30.

 19 May (Friday)

Woke up by 5:00. The works related to my brother’s marriage are going on fast. By 9:40 this morning, my brother Srinivas was dressed up and was formally made into bridegroom. Nearly seven photos were taken on this occasion. The photographer is Satya Narayana, the army friend of my brother from Elamanchili. Today, many of our relatives, both gents and women, arrived from distant places. Everything is over. The Upanayanam Pandhiri is decorated with green mango leaves. Today, all people, except bridegroom, are looking very busy. Preparation of dishes is over. The wedding cards were distributed well or dispatched to all. My paternal grandmother Lakshmi Narasayyamma came from the mango garden by hills in the evening. My maternal uncle Varma (Kolukuluri Appala Narasimha Raju) came from Gajuwaka (near Visakhapatnam). There he is presently doing a small job. My paternal uncle Narasimha Murthy Raju and his family also arrived. My paternal aunt Subhadra also came from the side of our mango garden by hills. Our relatives from Tank Bead also arrived. Our house is looking attractive with all these dear and affectionate relatives of our simple lives. Elders are busy doing something. Children are playing games. In the middle of this abundance of joy and work, I went to bed by 9:00.

 20 May (Saturday)

Woke up by 2:00. Everything related to my brother’s marriage is going on well. Many relatives came. Many dishes were prepared. The auspicious Upanayanam occasion went on well. Many photos were  taken. Lunch was served well. The minibus and the taxi arrived a bit late. We started to Molleru Mallavaram along with our friends and relatives in the minibus around 2:30. It is a great day to enjoy. My brother is well. Our house is filled with the voices of our affectionate people and noise of children to perfectly establish that harmony of people’s union for the cause of human lives, the marriage, a vital festival in humanity, an occasion to celebrate vivaciously in the present, and an event to recollect later with renewed happiness. The minibus we sat in to go to Molleru Mallavaram (the bride’s village in East Godavari district) is carrying a troop of monkeys, who create and enjoy the noise of vice, when others watch them helplessly, out of carelessness or patience. I watched them. May God bless us. Let the journey go on well. The marriage takes place at 2:13 a.m. (the time of Muhoortham) in the early hours of 21^st May. Women belonging to the bridegroom’s party stay back at home. Only men attend the marriage at the bride’s house. It is a custom in majority of the orthodox Kshatriya families in Andhra Pradesh. Happy Journey to Molleru Mallavaram!

21 May (Sunday)

We started back to home by 5:00 from Molleru Mallavaram. We reached home by 9:15. Our relatives are returning to their homes one after one. The marriage of my brother Srinivas and sister-in-law Sandhya Rani went on well. My brother and sister-in-law make up a good couple. On this day, last year, Rajiv Gandhi was assassinated in Tamil Nadu by the L.T.T.E. (the Liberation of Tamil Tigers Eelam) terrorists. Today I spent very happily. My salutes to Lord Gopal.

 22 May (Monday)

Woke up early morning. Today it was hot. I spent much time at home. Our relatives are leaving for their homes as soon as possible. Today my maternal grandmother and my aunt Bhaskaram left for Gollalagunta by a lorry. I went to Adduroad Junction and helped them take a lorry. My paternal aunt Subhadra and cousin Ravindra Varma (the one and only son to my aunt who came into this world after ten years of their marriage. This creature is the heart and soul of my aunt) stay here for some more time. My aunt Satyavati and cousin Hari also stay here for some more time. Evening went to Adduroad again and brought jasmines and other flowers, which are needed for a formal occasion in our house. Sweet and hot eatables, formally sent to us from the house of the bride, were sent to Gollalagunta, the village in which many of our relatives live. Some of them were formally distributed to some Kshatriya families in Ramayyapatnam. All that what my sister-in-law brought has to be considered satisfactory. Some women, familiar to our family in this village, are coming to see the new bride in our house (this is common in many  Kshatriya families in the villages of Andhra Pradesh. Seeing a shy bride is an interesting thing for experienced women to recollect their marriage days. The bride also feels at home being visited by some women, who are not part of her husband’s family). Went to bed by 9:00.

 23 May (Tuesday)

Got up early morning. Today it was hot. Today I spent at home most of the time. Even today some women came to see the new bride. My brother Srinivas stayed at home, not to leave his innocent bride alone and scared in this forest of people. Today my teacher uncle Venkata Rama Raju and aunt came to our house after a long time. They came from Raja Venkata Nagaram by bus. He had some sweets we offered. He talked affectionately with all of us. He had his lunch at our house by 10:00. My aunt Subhadra and cousin Ravindra Varma are at our house. We are happy with their presence. My aunt Satyavati is also here. My teacher uncle advised me to study Intermediate well. He also advised me to pursue B.A., B.L. after my Intermediate. Today my uncle Narasimha Murthy Raju came from Thetagunta. Evening my uncle Varma came from Gollalagunta. He will go along with my brother Srinivas as Todu Pelli Koduku (these words in Telugu translate into English as “Honorary Associate to Bridegroom”. In our Kshatriya families, it is a custom to send the maternal uncle of bridegroom (or another close member of our community) along with the latter, to bride’s house, when bridegroom and bride go to bride’s house for the first time after their marriage. Similarly, a woman servant is sent along with bride, when she comes to the bridegroom’s house for the first time soon after marriage. She is called Bonagatthe in Telugu. She helps the new bride in such matters where the latter may feel shy to get them done by the people of her husband’s family) to Molleru Mallavaram tomorrow. Evening I went to Adduroad on bicycle to drop my uncle Narasimha Murthy Raju there. I heard that she passed her Intermediate (C.E.C. Group) in second class.

 24 May (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Today my brother Srinivas and sister-in-law Sandhya Rani are going to Molleru Mallavaram. Morning I went to Narsipatnam Road railway station for calling three rickshaws to our house to take my brother and sister-in-law, along with others, including Kolukuluri Satya Narayana Raju, the father of bride, who came here yesterday evening, to the station. Aunt Venu (our affectionate relative from Tank Bead) who came along with the bride last Sunday, Kantham, who came as Bonagatthe with the bride, Shiva, the son of aunt Venu, my brother Srinivas, six persons in total, must be taken to railway station. They travel up to Samalkot Junction by Simhadri Express. Even my uncle Varma is going along with them in his position of Todu Pelli Koduku. My brother’s army friend Satya Narayana came from Elamanchili. He came to give us wedding photos. They came well. Evening my brother Sambha and I saw the Telugu film “Rowdy Rajyam” at Adduroad. Night I listened to radio. Went to bed by 9:00.

 25 May (Thursday)

Got up by 5:00. The Intermediate results were announced on the 22^nd of this month. On the same day, I heard that a girl student in our neighborhood passed her Intermediate in second class. Today I came to know that Prakash, a second-year Intermediate student from the Government Junior College in Elamanchili, who belongs to village China Gummuluru, who is also my good friend, passed all the subjects, except one, which has to be cleared in the instant examinations to be conducted soon. It’s his bad luck to fail in one subject. My hearty congratulations to that girl in our neighborhood on her success in these exams. I can congratulate her in my heart only because I can’t express it directly to her. Let her have a glorious academic life. Morning listened to Telugu cine songs on radio. By 11:25 reached Gurrajupeta along with my uncle Narayana Murthy Raju on bicycle. Today I saw his mango garden for the first time. Returned home by 5:00. Night watched television, listened to Telugu cine songs on radio and went to bed by 9:00.

 26 May (Friday)

Got up by 5:00. Today I spent all the time at home. Even today it was very hot. Morning listened to cine songs on radio. Because of drinking water in various places, cold caught me. Watched the Hindi serial “Shanti” on Delhi Doordarshan from 2:30. Night watched Telugu cine songs in its weekly program “Chitra Lahari” on Hyderabad Doordarshan (the only available television channel from the Government of India). My thought follows, “The life of a man is a challenge in itself. Every second in his life, a man has to fight with many things. If an ugly boy loves a beautiful girl and desires to marry her! What happens? If the beautiful girl can understand him, their marriage can take place. If that girl does not have such a great heart to love even an ugly fellow, which looks quite common and justifiable according to the common sense of the humanity, she discards his love outright and does not throw even a glance at him. Then what about this ugly boy? The solution may be inviting death committing suicide. Such a person is called one side lover. The life of a honest and ideal one side lover mostly remains tragic”. Went to bed by 9:00.

 27 May (Saturday)

Woke up by 4:00. Even today it was very hot. By 8:30 this morning I went to our mango garden by hills along with my cousin Hari, the son of my aunt Satyavati. There we had a few mango fruit. Listened to Telugu cine songs on my uncle’s radio. My uncle Narayana Murthy Raju was at home. I talked with him. Spent there till 6:00. Returned home on bicycle by 6:30. Today I did not watch the Hindi feature film on Delhi Doordarshan. My thought follows, “If two lovers like each other and decide to marry soon, the society appears like a tiger to them. Their parents and elders also start threatening them. Then they must remain united, alert and bold to face the situation”.

28 May (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched Hindi cine songs in “Rangoli” program on Delhi Doordarshan. Went to Adduroad and brought tablets for my maternal grandfather. Afternoon an Oriya feature film was presented on Delhi Doordarshan. I did not find it interesting. So, did not watch it till the end. From 3:00 to 4:00 listened to the Telugu play “Mahesh” from Visakhapatnam radio station. Evening Telugu feature film “Kaanthayya Kanakayya” was presented on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Power cut stopped me from watching it till the end. Went to sleep by 9:00.

 29 May (Monday)

Woke up by 4:00. Spent all the day at home. From 8:00 to 3:30 wrote an essay on the concept of love in Telugu, the title of which means “Love Means” in English. My eyes turned weak due to continuous writing for about six hours. My thought follows, “When two persons fall in deep love, they become blind. They wish to enjoy every moment in their lives. They don’t care the external environment. They start dreaming about their future. They wish to sing songs. They wish to listen to melodious music. They wish to fly into the blue welkin. All this happens in the initial stages of their love. Such passionate and possessive coexistence is good for such a pair of young souls because aged men and women don’t have such feelings or imaginations. Age matters in the context of love for its intensity and depth”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

 30 May (Tuesday)

Woke up by 4:00. Today it was very hot. Stayed at home till 10:00. Listened to Telugu cine songs on radio. Low fever attacked me 15 days ago. I  neglected it. I feel weakness internally but my body looks fine outside. So, I became weak and thin. Cold is still haunting. Today my friends Kama Raju, Krishna Varma and I started to Elamanchili by Alleppey-Bokaro Express by 12:00. It was a ticketless journey. We reached cinema Venkateswara by 2:00. We saw the Telugu film “Alludaa Majaakaa” of Chiranjeevi from 2:30 to 5:15. Then we came back to Elamanchili railway station and waited for a train. Visakhapatnam-Kakinada passenger arrived by 8:00. Reached home by 8:30. Today I had a glance at our government junior college. Had my supper and went to bed by 9:00. Some kind of entertainment is necessary to human life.

 31 May (Wednesday)

Woke up by 4:00. Went to our mango garden by hills by 8:00 and brought some mango fruit from there. Listened to Telugu cine songs on Visakhapatnam radio from 9:00 to 9:45. Today I wrote six postcards to my uncle Varma and posted them. My brother Srinivas, sister-in-law Sandhya Rani, Raja, son of maternal aunt of my sister-in-law, came from Molleru Mallavaram by 2:00 in an auto rickshaw. They, I mean my brother and sister-in-law, returned here after their formal stay there for six days. Night went to NRPM railway station on bicycle along with Krishna Varma (my friend, who studied in A P Residential School for Boys at Peda Boddepalli near Narsipatnam) to see him off. He is going to Kakinada by Visakhapatnam-Kakinada passenger. He is pursuing his ITI (Industrial Training Institute) Electrician course there. After returning home, watched the program “Chitrahaar” on Delhi Doordarshan, in which both Hindi and Telugu cine songs were presented. Even today it was hot. Today I spent happily. Went to bed by 9:00.

1 June (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning my father and my aunt Satyavati started to Jaggampeta by 9:00. My brother Srinivas, sister-in-law, Raja and I started to our mango garden by 10:00. We spent there till 4:00. My aunt Subhadra and my paternal grandmother showered affection upon us. We felt happy. We spent at the thatched hut of my paternal grandparents till 3:00. Then we went to see our mango garden. Sister-in-law saw our mango garden. We started back to home by 4:00. An unexpected incident took place during our visit to our mango garden. When we reached home, my sister-in-law found that she lost her gold earring somewhere in the journey, which costs about 1000 rupees. The elders of our family commented that it is a good sign if a new bride loses her valuable belonging in the property of her in-laws during her first visit to it. We could not find it despite our best efforts. Today it was hot till afternoon. Then clouds occupied the sky. Recently cough caught me. Went to bed by 9:00.

2 June (Friday)

Woke up by 5:00. Early morning sky was cloudy. Morning went to Adduroad on bicycle to drop my uncle Narasimha Murthy Raju. He took a lorry to Thetagunta. Listened to Telugu cine songs on radio from 9:15 to 10:00. Very melodious new songs were broadcast by Visakhapatnam radio station. Stayed at home from 10:00 to 1:00. Then started to the house of my uncle Rama Raju at Raja Venkata Nagaram. My cousin Naren is thin and weak. Spent there from 2:15  to 5:45. I took them some sweets brought by my sister-in-law. Started back by 5:45 and reached home by 6:25. Took a bath and had my supper by 7:00. Today I had a good day. Morning my brothers D S Raju and D S M Raju went to our mango garden to search for the lost gold earring of my sister-in-law. They could not find it. Night watched Telugu cine songs in “Chitra Lahari” program on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Then listened to Telugu cine songs from Cuddapah radio station. Went to bed by 11:00.

 3 June (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. Today it was cool since 11:00. The sky was full of clouds. Today I wrote five postcards in reply to my residential school friend A V Rao in Kakinada. Afternoon went to Peda Gummuluru and posted those postcards. Morning my two brothers went to Tuni and attended the work of getting sleeper class railway tickets reserved for Sarkar Express. Each ticket cost 230 rupees. I stayed at home from 2:00. By 4:30 my father returned home finishing his tour to Jaggampeta section. I knew that my maternal grandfather Subba Raju in Gollalagunta became very weak. Reddy, the buyer of the seasonal crop of our mango and cashew garden near Panduru, is saying that he can’t pay the money as agreed upon earlier.

4 June (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Spent all the day at home. Morning watched Hindi cine songs on Delhi Doordarshan in its “Rangoli” weekly program. Afternoon watched the Telugu feature film “Erra Mandhaaram” of Rajendra Prasad on Delhi Doordarshan. It is interesting. Evening watched the Telugu feature film “Saakshi” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Today it was cloudy. Today our relative Devi came from Darlapudi and left soon. Went to sleep by 9:00.

5 June (Monday)

Woke up by 5:00. Today it was cool. The sky was full of clouds. By 5:30 my brother Srinivas, sister-in-law, Raja and my parents reached the over bridge at NRPM railway station. From there they go to Annavaram. There the program of Vratham (Vratham is a formal worship by Hindu men and women, to their favorite deities, under the supervision of Brahmin priests at their homes or in Hindu temples under the guidance of the temple priests there, on auspicious occasions of their lives or other important Hindu festivals. Lord Veera Venkata Satya Narayana Swami is the presiding deity in the temple at Annavaram in East Godavari district of Andhra Pradesh. Many newly married couples in Andhra Pradesh come to this temple to perform special worship to this God. It is a firm belief of the devotees that this Vratham would bring them a long and prosperous married life. Elders of the family see that their children perform this Vratham compulsorily. This temple is located on the Ratna Giri Hills, after the name of which, Ratnachal Express, an inter-city train was started, which runs between Vijayawada and Visakhapatnam, every day) takes place. My brother Srinivas, sister-in-law and Raja go to Molleru Mallavaram from there. Today I stayed at home all the time. Listened to Telugu cine songs on radio. Listened to some songs on tape recorder also. From 12:30 to 6:00 I sat calmly on the right of the front of our rented house. I watched men and women of our village carrying drinking water from the nearby village well. This is a routine to our villagers, a flow of daily life with the same chores to be watched interestingly with wonder by a solitary creature like me. My thought follows, “We can’t assess everything accurately about a person by just looking for once or even after many years of coexistence with him or her. Reality resides in the mind of the person. It can be known by oneself or tricky God only. Understanding the personality of a person is such a big issue”. Went to bed by 9:00.

6 June (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Even today it was cool. Today I stayed at home all the time. Rested for some time from 10:00. From 11:30 to 12:30 washed my clothes. It has become a problem for us to deal with our washerman. From 4:00 to 5:00 listened to cine songs on Vividha Bharati radio station. These songs are of Kannada, Tamil, Telugu and Malayalam languages. Today I received a letter from my junior college friend Chiranjeevi of village Enugu Tuni and from Visweswara Rao of Andhra Polytechnic in Kakinada. Today I wrote a letter to our mathematics teacher Surapa Reddy of A P R School at Bhoopathipalem. From 5:30 to 6:00 watched Telugu cine songs on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Night listened to cine songs on radio. Today my father went to Adduroad and saw the Telugu film “Aame”. He said he did not like it. Went to bed by 9:00.

7 June (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Today it was hotter than yesterday. Today I stayed at home all the time. Today my brother Sambha went to Molleru Mallavaram. From there he goes to Bangalore by Sarkar Express from Samalkot railway station on the 9^th of this month with my brother Srinivas for attending the task of his joining the Indian Army. For the last 20 days, sweat is profusely forming on my body due to static standing of the big green trees around our house. Today I did not watch any program on television or listen to songs on radio till evening. My brother Sambha is in such situation in which one doesn’t like to be. He is unable to decide either way; to join Indian Army or to stay back at home managing our agriculture. Joining army kills his liberty as a man and staying back at home makes him look like a lazy bloke to our villagers, without any work, after the three-month long mango and cashew crop season of our agriculture. Villagers don’t have good impression about young men that live for long in their villages doing the same things of a common nature. There is a change in the timings of television programs for the last four days. Went to bed by 9:00.

8 June (Thursday)

Got up by 4:00. Went to NRPM railway station by 6:45 to go to Elamanchili for meeting my friend Chiranjeevi of Enugu Tuni. Took Godavari Express. From railway station, I walked to the bus stand. Waited for Chiranjeevi for two hours. Today it was very hot. Hot winds blew restlessly. My friend came by 10:00 on bicycle. We talked happily for sometime. We went to have a look at our junior college without students in it. We heard that it would be reopened on the 26^th of this month. We saw the Telugu film “Yama Love” in cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir in the morning show. Afternoon we saw the Telugu film “Karna” in cinema Parameswari. Returned home by 5:30 by Godavari Express. Today tenth standard exam results were published in newspapers. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on radio. Today I spent outdoors. Went to bed by 10:00.

9 June (Friday)

Woke up by 5:00. Went to Raja Venkata Nagaram by 9:00 along with my uncle Narasimha Murthy Raju on bicycle. We stayed there till 4:00 fearing the hot winds, which are being created by brilliant sunlight, which causes sunstrokes. News on television inform that many people died due to this high temperature in many places of the country. By 4:00 we started to Gurrajupeta. I saw the newly constructed house of my younger paternal grandfather Dharma Raju. He is one of the three younger brothers of my paternal grandfather Thammi Raju. He appeared me like a very pitiable person and just like an helpless old man, who is waiting for his last departure. Returned home by 7:00. Had a bath, my supper and went to bed. Started listening to Telugu cine songs on radio from 8:00. Today I spent much time outdoors. Went to sleep by 11:00.

 10 June (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. Today it was hot. By 2:00 in the afternoon my brothers would have reached Bangalore. They started yesterday from Samalkot railway station. Today I stayed indoors due to the hot winds outside. Today I spent simply at home. Listened to one or two songs on tape recorder. Today cooking is my duty because my mother must be outside the domain of domestic chores. Sweat is effectively developing on my body because there are no breezes around. I heard that six students of tenth standard in our village passed in first division. Went to sleep by 9:00.

11 June (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Spent at home all the day. It was cloudy even today. Watched  Hindi cine songs in Rangoli program on Delhi Doordarshan. Evening the Telugu feature film on Hyderabad Doordarshan was “Krishna Gaarabbayi”. It was good. Today I spent happily at home. Today I ate many mango fruit. Went to sleep by 10:00.

 12 June (Monday)

Woke up by 5:20. Today I did not go anywhere. Today it was very hot. Today I sat alone in the front of our house for much time. Today I ate seven or eight mango fruit of our garden. Afternoon listened to Telugu songs from the film “Shootradhaarulu”. Then rested for sometime. From 3:00 watched the Hindi serial “Prayaas” on Delhi Doordarshan. Listened to cine songs on Vividha Bharati radio station from 4:30 to 5:30. They are of Telugu, Malayalam and Kannada languages. From 5:30 to 6:00 listened to the program “Yuva Vaani” from Visakhapatnam radio station in which an interesting playlet titled “Pelli” and some sweet Telugu cine songs were presented. Today I did a little written work on the concept of love. Night listened to Telugu cine songs and Hari Katha (this is a form of storytelling in a style of singing which includes verse of Sanskrit. First, the poetic form is sung melodiously and then the explanation is given in the regional language in an easily understandable and yet formal and high quality words. The singing is accompanied by harmonium. Splendid blend of verse and music add exceptional melody to the narration. Typically this narration goes on for one hour on radio due to broadcast time slots. When this regional art form is presented in public places, it runs from three to four hours. These artistes are masters in their field of singing but look poor when we check their purses at the end of the show. This art has been flowing down from generation to generation as a family tradition. Now very few are interested to learn it as an art because it is not profitable in the present competitive entertainment industry. The story essentially portrays ideal characters or important anecdotes from Hindu mythology. It is a pious service to Hindu gods and goddesses by these artistes. I don’t know whether I should call them artists or artistes because they are both) from Cuddapah radio station. Radio is my companion. It delights me daily. Went to bed by 11:00.

13 June (Tuesday )

Got up by 5:00. Today it was very hot. Today I stayed at home all the time. Morning listened to Telugu cine songs on radio. Spent much of my noontime sitting alone outside. Today I ate five mango fruit. My brother Sambha went to Elamanchili to give some mango fruit to my brother’s army friend Satya Narayana. Two days ago a little burning took place on my right thumb while cooking rice. Today I scribbled a little autobiography in Telugu in a notebook. By 7:00 yesterday  evening my brother Sambha and sister-in-law Sandhya Rani came home from Molleru Mallavaram. My brother Sambha disliked joining army because he saw the pitiable situation of soldiers in the Madras Engineering Group and Center at Bangalore, where my brother Srinivas started his military life some years ago. He said that a man, who can lead a simple life in his place, should never join army, in which his liberty remains a distant dream, separating him from his parents, wife and children for long. Went to bed by 9:00.

14 June (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Today I spent at home all the time. Morning listened to Telugu cine songs on radio. From 10:00 to 5:00 sat at the front of our house watching people carrying drinking water from the village well. Today there were some clouds in the sky. Morning my brother Srinivas, my mother and my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani went to the house of my uncle Rama Raju at Raja Venkata Nagaram. My thought follows, “Swami Vivekananda says that physical separation does not cause suffering to a lover or his beloved if their love is real, selfless and sacred. In my opinion, lovers that are accustomed to the joy of feelings and emotions in being close to one another crave for such physical nearness time to time. Long physical separation causes great pain to sensitive lovers. Only platonic or spiritual love can keep two lovers happy despite their physical separation for long. Education does not go well with married life partners or deep lovers. Concentration on studies would be hampered by bodily tendencies of married life or passion between two young lovers”. Went to bed by 9:00.

 15 June (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Even today it was cool. Today I stayed at home all the time. Sat alone in the front of our house for much time. Today my brother Srinivas and sister-in-law are also at home. They got their luggage ready to go to Molleru Mallavaram tomorrow. Today I ate eight mango fruit. My thought follows, “Thinking deeply about life or something else serious by one makes one mentally disturbed but can’t give even one plate of food. One may not help others because of one’s greedy nature but one should not stop others from helping the helpless and the victimized. Every moment in one’s life is valuable and turns irretrievable once it blends with the past. So, one must uphold the sanctity of time utilizing it for personal development or social reformation. The company of good friends and listening to spiritual discourses by saints adds a worthwhile dimension of practices to one’s life. Frequent communication and related understanding between two lovers is important to keep themselves mutually interested in this cruel and misguiding world. Once into ideal love relationship, both the lovers can stay away from speeches of seers. True love makes them good human beings, which is the aim of religious discourse. Lovers should maintain privacy of communication and standards of relationship. Otherwise elders of their families nip their budding love in its infancy itself. They like listening to love stories but seldom encourage real lovers around them”. Went to bed by 9:00.

 16 June (Friday)

Woke up by 5:00. Today the sky was cloudy in the evening. My brother Srinivas and sister-in-law started to Molleru Mallavaram by 9:00. Today I stayed at home all the time. Today I had six mango fruit. From 11:30 to 6:30 I engaged myself in the written work of my book I, My Life and My Notions (I wrote this in Telugu in a small notebook. This briefly discusses the incidents and circumstances that took place in my life from my birth to 1995. It is not comprehensive. I wrote what I could remember about my life. I carried out this task to present a considerable sketch of my life. Rest of my life is anyhow going to be presented in my personal diaries, beginning from 1995. So, this work in Telugu is to fill that gap from 1976 to 1995, which remained unrecorded so far. The title of this little work in Telugu is Nenu, Naa Jeevitham, Naa Mano Baavaalu (1976-1995)). Sat alone in our easy chair while carrying out this work. Evening listened to some cine songs from Vividha Bharati radio station. Night listened to Telugu cine songs from Cuddapah radio station. Today our house looked deserted and dull because my brother Srinivas and sister-in-law Sandhya Rani went to Molleru Mallavaram. Night the sky presented the scene of raining soon. Yesterday and today I applied Burnol antiseptic cream on the burnt part of my right thumb. Went to bed by 11:00.

 17 June (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:30. Morning listened to Telugu cine songs on radio from 9:00 to 9:45. By 10:00 went to our village Panchayat office to sit there and spend my time. Today it was cool in the morning. The sky was full of clouds till 3:30 in the evening. There is the mood of Village Sarpanch Elections in villages. Night listened to some cine songs on radio. My thought follows, “Marriage is a boon to simple human beings. Some people remain unmarried due to their destiny. Marriage is necessary to humans for remaining secure even in the dreary moments of old age. Married life means experimenting with life completely”. Went to bed by 9:00.

18 June (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:20. Spent at home all the day. Morning my brother Sambha went to Molleru Mallavaram. It was a sunny day. Afternoon watched a Bengali feature film on Delhi Doordarshan. It was interesting. Evening watched the Telugu feature film “Challenge” of Chiranjeevi on Hyderabad Doordarshan. I greatly enjoyed watching it. Also listened to some cine songs on radio. Went to bed by 9:00.

 19 June (Monday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning listened to Telugu cine songs on radio. By 11:00 took my bicycle and started to Adduroad for seeing some Telugu film. On the 8^th of last April, I saw the Telugu film “Aame” in cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir at Elamanchili, when our last examination, history paper, was over. Again, today, in cinema Lakshmipati Raju Mahal, in the morning show, at Adduroad, I  saw the same film for the second time. I liked it very much. The role of the heroine Ooha attracted me. I was impressed by her performance and appearance. This film portrays how a young, beautiful, poor and educated girl fought with her destiny. Her father-in-law and brother-in-law, who must have ideal and affectionate relationships with her in her position of daughter-in-law and sister-in-law to them, behave like clients at a whorehouse with her. The life of heroine symbolizes misfortune and sorrow. She earns pity of sensitive viewers. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on radio. Went to bed by 9:00.

 20 June (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Today the sky was full of clouds. Sweat is highly forming on my body. Morning went to our village Panchayat office. There I did the written work of the list of names of voters of ward number five in our village in view of forthcoming Village Sarpanch Elections. Afternoon went to Raja Venkata Nagaram along with Dolli Gadu by bus. My brother Sambha and uncle Satya Narayana Raju, father of my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani, were already there. My uncle Varma was also there. Spent there from 2:00 to 4:00. My uncle Varma and I took a bus at the road junction leading to Gurrajupeta. Got off it at Adduroad and bought half a kilo of broiler chicken. Thence we took Narsipatnam bound bus and got off it at NRPM railway over bridge. We reached home by 4:30. Today also I had some sweet mango fruit. Today also I listened to some cine songs on radio. My thought follows, “Young men without speed in constructive or profitable actions of their own can’t be honored in the present village societies. Girls also like those that do something worthwhile or profitable”. Went to bed by 9:00.

 21 June (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. By 10:00 uncle Satya Narayana Raju, my uncle Varma, my brother Sambha and I started to NRPM railway over bridge. Thence we took a sharing auto rickshaw and reached Adduroad. My uncle Varma and I went to cinema Lakshmipati Raju Mahal and saw the Telugu film “Maavoori Maaraju”. Uncle Satya Narayana Raju and my brother Sambha left for Elamanchili by lorry. After seeing the film, my uncle Varma and I started to Revu Polavaram for seeing the building of Aqua Farms Limited, which was recently constructed there. Local entrepreneur Sita Rama Raju (of Visakhapatnam) invested crores of rupees in this project. Then we spent some time walking by seashore. Today it was cool and refreshing. We reached the house of my uncle Rama Raju at R V Nagaram after this enjoyment by seashore. We spent there for sometime. From there we reached our house by 6:30. Today I spent happily. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on radio. Went to bed by 9:00.

 22 June (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning uncle Varma, uncle Narayana Murthy Raju and uncle Satya Narayana Raju started to Jaggampeta. Uncle Satya Narayana Raju and uncle Varma reached Adduroad in an auto rickshaw and uncle Narayana Murthy Raju and I reached there on bicycles. We waited for about one hour to get a lorry for their journey to Jaggampeta. Then the three persons got into it. Meanwhile it started drizzling. Then I went to a hair salon and had my haircut. Returned home by 10:30. Took a head bath. Had my lunch. Took a siesta till 1:30. Then listened to some Telugu cine songs on radio. From 3:00 to 4:30 spent washing and oiling our old and short bicycles. Night watched some programs on television. Also listened to a Telugu play of one hour duration and some cine songs on radio from 9:30 to 11:00. Today it was cool. Went to bed by 11:00.

 23 June (Friday)

Woke up by 4:30. Had my prayers to Lord Gopal. All the day I stayed at home or within the village. Today, most of the time, I spent on bed, watching television or listening to cine songs on radio. Political environment is heating up in our village. Eligible voters in our village, presently living in distant places, are also being called by the activists of our village politics, to come to vote in the ensuing Village Sarpanch Elections. Graama (village) Panchayat Elections are due to take place very soon. Three contestants are in the race for the position of Sarpanch in our village. Today it was very cloudy and cool. Evening listened to Tamil, Kannada, Malayalam and Telugu cine songs on radio. Night watched “Chitra Lahari” (program of Telugu cine songs)  on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Today, my brother D S Raju and sister-in-law Sandhya Rani, would have carried out “Paalu Ponginchadam” (“Paalu” in Telugu means “milk” in English. “Ponginchadam” means “to make the milk in the utensil flow off the surface of it heating it with fire in the oven below”. Cow milk is preferred for this occasion. Many South Indian Hindu families, newly married couples in particular, all families in general, observe this custom when they start cooking for the first time in their/a new house. If the milk flows in the direction of the east, it is believed that the family life of those people would be prosperous. If the milk flows in other directions, their future may not be that bright. The sweet rice, cooked with milk and jaggery, would be later had by the family members as holy food sanctified by their worship to God. They distribute it, in little quantities, to the invitees and neighbors also) event in their married quarters at Ambala Cantonment. Night the Hindi feature film on Delhi Doordarshan One is “Majboor” of Amitabh Bachchan. I did not watch it because it starts at 9:30. Today I spent a silent day. Went to bed by 9:00.

 24 June (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. By 8:30 went to our village school building for voting. I cast one vote in favor of Daraboina Krishna, the one competing for President (Village Sarpanch) seat and the second vote in favor of Polisetty Venkata Ramana, the one competing for the position of ward member. By 10:30 went to the house of my uncle Rama Raju at Raja Venkata Nagaram. There I took a siesta for one hour. Spent there happily till 6:00. Returned home by 6:35. When I entered our village on bicycle, I heard the happy news that the two contestants, in favor of whom I voted this morning, won their desired positions in the elections. Went to bed by 9:00.

25 June (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Stayed at home all the day. Morning spent listening to cine songs on radio. Afternoon watched the Assamese feature film “Madhu Chanda” on Delhi Doordarshan. Evening watched the Telugu feature film “Maathru Devatha” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Our government junior college holidays (for 80 days) came to an end by today. My first year Intermediate life went on well. My salutes to Lord Krishna for that.

 26  June (Monday)

Woke up by 5:00. By 8:00 it started raining heavily. It stopped after half an hour. By 12:00 reached Narsipatnam Road railway station. I missed Tuni-Visakhapatnam shuttle. Waited for the next train till 1:30. Then the bell indicating the arrival of Alleppey-Bokaro Express was rung. Just then one of my friends came there and asked me to come along with him to Elamanchili. I  traveled to Elamanchili without ticket. Went to our junior college and met our History Lecturer Mallikarjuna Rao. I collected the marks list of my first year Intermediate. It showed: English: 83, Telugu: 79, Economics: 65, Civics: 54 and History: 58. I found my marks satisfactory. They are the fruits of the blessings of all my Hindu gods and Mother Saraswati (the Hindu deity of learning). Thereafter saw the Telugu film “Bhaashaa” of Rajnikanth in cinema Parameswari. My friend Ramesh was also with me. I thank Lord Gopal for making me pass my Intermediate in first class. Evening also I traveled by Godavari Express without ticket. Today we received a letter from my brother Srinivas. Went to bed by 9:00.

 27 June (Tuesday)

Got up by 5:00. By 6:30 reached NRPM railway station. Missed Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger. Today I bought a monthly season ticket for Narsipatnam Road-Elamanchili distance of my daily to and fro train journey. I came to know that Tirumala Express arrives two hours late. So, I moved to the nearby railway over bridge where there is a bus stop. Waited for a bus. It arrived by 9:00. Got off it at Adduroad. Thence took a lorry and reached Elamanchili by 9:45. Went to junior college and sat in the classroom of Intermediate Second Year of H.E.C. Group (History, Economics and Civics are the main subjects of this course). Our history lecturer came to classroom and read out the marks of the first year Intermediate students. He talked a little appreciating the successful ones and encouraging the slightly or badly failed ones to look ahead toward the second year studies. Then our Telugu Lecturer Yandamuri Narasimha Murthy came. He introduced the lessons in Telugu subject and explained the model of the question paper.  Then our Economics Lecturer Mohan Rao came and taught us the first lesson in Economics subject. College was over by 12:30. Reached home by 3:00 by Bokaro-Alleppey Express. The name of our new college principal is Sharif. Went to bed by 10:00.

 28 June (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning it was cool. Reached Narsipatnam Road railway station by 7:00. Godavari Express arrived. Took this train and reached Elamanchili. Went to the temple of Lord Anjaneya Swamy (which is near our junior college) and spent there my time sitting alone till 9:00. Then moved to our college. Entered classroom by 10:00. First our Telugu lecturer came. He read out first year Intermediate marks once again for the sake of late comers. He explained a Sanskrit poem translating it into Telugu, verse after verse. Then our history lecturer came and lectured on Mughal Empire. College was over by 12:00. Came to Elamanchili railway station. Knew that Bokaro-Alleppey Express was running three hours late. Waited for Tirumala Express for three hours. It arrived by 3:30. Took it and reached home. Our new principal introduced some changes in the functioning of our college and dress code of students. Went to bed by 9:00.

 29 June (Thursday)

Woke up by 6:00. It rained heavily this morning from 4:00 to 6:00. Because of this rain, I could not get ready for the train in time. Reached NRPM railway station by 8:00. Came to know that both Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger and Godavari Express already left the station at their scheduled times. Waited for Tirumala Express for some time. Knew that it would arrive by 10:30. So, I moved to the nearby bus stop. From there to Adduroad by a van and from Adduroad to Elamanchili by a lorry. Reached college in time. Today History, Telugu, Economics and Civics classes went on till 1:00. Came to railway station. Took Bokaro-Alleppey Express by 3:15 and reached home by 4:00. Evening and night watched some programs on Doordarshan (government television channel). Train journey became embarrassing for me because they don’t arrive on time. Went to bed by 9:00.

30 June (Friday)

Woke up by 5:00. Reached NRPM railway station by 6:45. Took Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger and reached Elamanchili by 7:15. Spent my time at the railway station till 9:30. Then moved to college. History lecturer taught the lesson on “Mughal Empire”. Today only one class went on. The Hindi lecturer in our college has retired from his service. So, on this occasion, some lecturers attended the farewell function to him. Came back to railway station and waited for the train. Spent my time this way from 12:30 to 4:00. Reached NRPM by Tirumala Express. We lost our lovely puppy ten days ago. It is my sweet companion. I spent this month happily. My prayers to Lord Krishna. Please save me God. Went to bed by 9:00.

1 July (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. Reached NRPM railway station by 6:30. The arrival time of Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger is changed to 6:26 a.m. from today. Reached Elamanchili by 7:15. Went to the public library near Mandal Development Office and waited there till 8:00. Then it was opened. Spent my time till 9:30 in this library. Then went to college. Today History and Economics classes went on in the morning session. The lunch break is from 1:00 to 2:00. I had a few bananas and two glasses of water for my lunch. Spent some time at the ice factory and the bus stop. Telugu and Civics classes went on from 2:00 to 3:30. Returned home by Tirumala Express. Went to bed by 12:00.

2 July (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Reached Elamanchili by 10:00 by Tirumala Express. Saw the Telugu version of the English film “Jurassic Park” in cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir in the morning show. Collected my photos from the photo studio. Returned home by 4:00 by Bokaro-Alleppey Express. Owing to power cut, could not watch the Telugu feature film “Abbayigaaru Ammaayigaaru” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Went to sleep by 9:00.

3 July (Monday)

Woke up by 5:00. Reached NRPM station by 6:30. Today Godavari Express was a little late. It arrived by 7:00. Reached Elamanchili by 7:30. Went to public library and spent my time there till 9:30. Went to college by 10:00. Today only Civics and Economics classes went on. Afternoon I bought all the second year Intermediate textbooks except the English text and English non-detailed text. Purchased three long rule and two short rule notebooks also. It all cost me 130 rupees. Returned home by 5:20 by Godavari Express. Today I collected the marks list of my first year Intermediate course. I felt happy looking at the numbers on this printed paper. My hearty prayers and sincere gratitude are due to all the Hindu gods and goddesses who have directed me toward this success in studies. Dear Lakshmi (this is the eldest daughter of our neighbor Polisetty Naidu. Her name is Penta Lakshmi. Our two houses are in a distance of a two-minute walk. Our villagers carry drinking water from the nearby well in the way between our house and theirs. Our two families have good relationship because her father and my father work in the same sugar factory. They are friends. Her name has a story behind it. We belong to different communities. I met her for the first time at their house on 13 July, 1993, around 4:30 p.m. It happened when I went to their house to ask them for a hammer to use it to drive nails into our wall to set the antennae for our newly brought Weston company portable television bought and brought by my brother Srinivas. I did not imagine that she would appear at the threshold of their house. She must be already in love with me. She could not understand what I spoke with her in the first instance. She rushed in and came back in a minute wearing tension on her face. She asked me to tell her again what I wanted because she failed to understand my words in the first instance. The exact words in Telugu she delivered were, “SARIGGAA CHEPPANDI. ARDHAM KAALEDHU” (Tell me clearly. I could not understand). My one-word reply in Telugu was “SUTTHANDEE” (hammer madam). My heart was throbbing to speak anything with her. I moved from that place immediately when my maternal grandfather asked me to come back at once. I cursed him internally for that crime he committed. She sent the hammer by her cousin in a few minutes. She was my goddess. She appeared like a star of exceptional beauty to my eyes in that direct physical encounter. I failed my senses to witness that wonder. She was in a rose color nightie at that time. Her face was shining like moon at that time of the dusk. The play of withdrawing sunshine on her face and body added special beauty to her at that time to kill me internally. It was my first close encounter with her face and voice. Later I was proved as a helpless and tragic one side lover in relation to her by her father and mother. Thus she cursed me to stay away from her afterwards. Stars in the sky worked against us. It was a tale of our destinies rather than dishonesty in our love story. It was my accidental encounter with her for the first time. I felt blissful to see her face-to-face. Though I had admiration for her even before this date, from this date onwards, my psychic attachment with her developed very fast) my best wishes to you. My prayers to Lord Krishna. Went to bed by 9:00.

4 July (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Reached NRPM railway station by 6:30. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 7:00. Reached Elamanchili by 7:20. Went to public library and spent there till 9:30. Then went to college. In the morning session, History and Civics classes went on. Had some rice offered by my classmates for my lunch. Then went to classroom. Economics and Telugu classes went on in the afternoon session. Came back to railway station and awaited the train for one hour. Godavari Express arrived by 5:10. Reached home by 5:40. This morning my mother went to Gollalagunta to see her father. He has been ill for the last five days. He was admitted into the Government General Hospital at Kakinada (is it because I cursed him recently since he separated me from my goddess Lakshmi from seeing her directly for a few historical and invaluable moments of my solitary life. Only gods, the tricky entities in the sky, hiding from creatures on earth, whom they created, should know). So, this evening, cooking and sweeping chores were attended by us, the males at home. Our cute puppy, which went away from our house, some days ago, returned home yesterday. Felt happy at this wonder of God. Went to bed by 9:00.

5 July (Wednesday)

Woke up by 4:20. Had a bath and breakfast early. Reached NRPM railway station by 6:30. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 7:00. Reached Elamanchili by 7:25. Walked here and there till 9:00. Had a plate of Poori (an Indian dish available in many small hotels also) at Ambika Hotel. Had one rupee of bananas also. Then went to college. Only History and Telugu classes went on in the first three college working hours. Went to Uma Ice Factory (a small shed in fact) by Elamanchili bus stand and had some rice offered by my classmates (I don’t like carrying food in containers to college or any other place. I don’t like cleaning dishes after eating, keeping them somewhere and thus wasting a lot of time daily for the sake of stomach. Rather I like to eat affordable and small eatables to fill my stomach. Thus I killed my desire for food during afternoons on all my college working days). Had two glasses of cool water also. Then went back to classroom. Economics and English classes went on in the afternoon session. College was over by 3:30. Came back to railway station. Tirumala Express arrived by 4:10. Reached home by 4:40. We prepared our supper and had it. My eyes are getting tired due to cooking food in the smoke of burning wood in our brick oven. Went to bed by 10:00.

6 July (Thursday)

Woke up by 4:20. Reached NRPM railway station by 6:30. Godavari Express was late today (its scheduled arrival time to NRPM station is around 5:00 a.m.). Took this train and reached Elamanchili by 7:00. Sat in the railway station for some time. Then my friend Murthy and I went to Lakshmi Narayana Type Institute. I talked with the head of this institute and then moved to the library. Spent there till 9:30. Then went to college. History and Economics classes went on in the morning session. During lunch break I went to Uma Ice Factory and had some rice offered by my classmate M Chiranjeevi of Enugu Tuni. Then came back to college. English and Telugu classes went on in the afternoon session. It started raining heavily from 3:15 and continued till 4:15. Then I reached railway station and waited for Godavari Express. It arrived by 5:10. Reached home by 5:40. Night did some written work. In our village also it rained a bit. Went to bed by 9:00.

7 July (Friday)

Woke up by 4:30. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:30. Today Godavari Express was a little late. It arrived by 6:35. Took it and reached Elamanchili by 7:00. Went to the house of Murthy by 7:30. From there Murthy and I went to Lakshmi Narayana Type Institute. It is also known as Balu Type Institute. I joined it today because it is Dasami today, an auspicious day according to Telugu calendar. I was instructed to type a s d f ; l k j today. I practiced this first exercise of the typewriting learning process a little from 8:15 in the morning and for one hour from 2:00 in the afternoon. Today only History class went on from 10:00 to 11:00. Then some of my classmates and I went to cinema Parameswari and saw the Telugu film “Bhale Bullodu”. I did not like it. Returned home by 4:20 by Tirumala express. Went to bed by 9:00.

8 July (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. Today it is a holiday to our college because it is the second Saturday of the month. Morning did a little written work of economics notes. Stayed at home much of the time. By 2:00 my father started to Gollalagunta to see our maternal grandfather. He is ill for long. Today I got my two new lungi pieces stitched. Today it is Tholi Ekaadhasi (an auspicious day according to Telugu calendar). So, I started wearing this new item today. It is believed by Hindus that Lord Krishna would go onto sea today for resting there on Seshu Paanupu (bed of twisted form of His servant snake’s body). Even Goddess Lakshmi Devi, His spouse, would go along with Him. Today we wrote a letter to my brother Srinivas at Ambala Cantonment. Today I received a letter from my friend Bullet Raju in Bhimavaram. Today I spent happily. Went to bed by 9:00.

9 July (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Spent at home all the day. Morning watched Rangoli program on Delhi Doordarshan. Then watched the Hindi serial “Chandra Kaantha”. Afternoon watched a Konkani feature film on Delhi Doordarshan. It was boring. Still I watched it. Evening the Telugu feature film on Hyderabad Doordarshan was “Bhagat”. It was interesting. Evening my father returned from Gollalagunta. My maternal grandfather, who was ill, is well now. Today the entire day rolled well. Went to bed by 9:00.

10 July (Monday)

Woke up by 4:40. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:30. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 6:45. Reached Elamanchili by 7:15. Spent in the library from 8:00 to 9:30. Then went to college. History, Civics and English classes went on in the morning session. By 12:30 went to Uma Ice Factory and had some rice offered by my classmate M Chiranjeevi of village Enugu Tuni. Today it was so cool that I felt as if I were in Bangalore (I heard that Bangalore is a very cool place in South India). Afternoon there were no classes. Suddenly it started raining heavily. It did not stop. In the rain, Kama Raju, Satya Narayana (my friends from the Government Degree College in Elamanchili) and I walked to railway station. I felt very thrilled to walk on road being drenched by rain. Tirumala Express arrived by 3:40. Reached home by 4:40. My life is dedicated to Lord Krishna. Let Him direct it as He likes. Went to bed by 9:00.

 11 July (Tuesday)

Got up by 4:40. Reached NRPM railway station by 6:30. Today Godavari Express was a little late. Took it and reached Elamanchili by 7:30. Went to library by 8:00. Spent there till 9:30. Then went to college and came to know that today it is World Population Day. So, there were no classes today. All Intermediate students, including me, were formed into two lines. We started a march on main road. This educative student show went on from our college to the LIC building. There we took left turn and returned to college by 11:00 walking through streets. Then a Telugu stage play called “Mahammaari” (meaning “the demon of overpopulation”) was played by the employees of the Visakha Nagara Paalaka Samstha (Visakhapatnam Municipality). Pappala Chalapathi Rao, the present M.L.A. of Elamanchili assembly constituency, S Gopal Rao, the present Principal of Government Degree College in Elamanchili, and M.R.A. Sharif, our Principal, spoke on this occasion. Today it was cloudy. Returned home by Bokaro-Alleppey Express. Went to bed by 9:00.

 12 July (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Today it is a holiday to the second year Intermediate students of our college because the admissions of first year Intermediate students are going on today. By 8:00 went to our village Panchayat office where people with time but no work or the ones with work but unwilling to work daily gather to spend their time. Returned home by 10:00. Then took out my book in Telugu (in the process of writing) I, My Life and My Notions 1976-1995 and began to write on the concept and practice of love in my life. Ten or twelve pages are yet to be filled to finish this book. Had my lunch by 1:00. Again I started the same work. In a few minutes my brain became very tired. I helplessly resorted to rest. Yesu Babu, our familiar worker in agriculture, came by 4:00. I talked general things with him for some time. I pray my Lord Krishna to direct my life. Today it was cloudy. Went to bed by 9:00.

 13 July (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Today it was cloudy. Today I spent most of my time at home or within our village. From 2:00 to 5:30 spent writing the last part of my book I, My Life and My Notions 1976-1995. I completed it today. Today is a special day for me because on this date, in 1993, I met Lakshmi, whom I like as a good, beautiful and educated girl. May be it was the first and last occasion for me to talk with her. Many have sweethearts but none to me. I like her. I think she is virtuous. My hearty prayers to God. God! Please don’t throw me into love anytime. See that I concentrate on my studies. Help me go on well in my journey to the higher levels of institutional and formal learning. To love others and to be loved by others is a great asset of human life. Only a few can enjoy it. Went to bed by 9:00.

 14 July (Friday)

Woke up by 5:30. Got ready soon and went to NRPM railway station. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 7:00. Reached Elamanchili by 7:30. Went to the house of Murthy and from there both of us moved to Lakshmi Narayana Type Institute. There we practiced typing from 8:15 to 9:30. We typed the first exercise a s d f ; l k j. Then came back to railway station and awaited passenger train. It arrived by 10:25. Reached home by 11:10. Had my lunch and started to our mango garden by hills on bicycle. Spent my time there from 12:00 to 5:00. Returned home by 5:45. Night watched Telugu cine songs in “Chitra Lahari” program on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Today it was somewhat rainy and cool. Today I received a postcard from my teacher uncle Venkata Rama Raju in Jaggampeta. My prayers to Lord Krishna. I could not see Lakshmi for the last two days though I heard that she is at home. Went to bed by 10:00.

 15 July (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:40. Just then Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived. Reached Elamanchili by 7:15. Went to Murthy’s house. Thence both of us moved to the type institute. Practiced the first exercise a s d f ; l k j for 90 minutes. Then I went to our junior college. The admissions of first year Intermediate students are going on. Went to cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir and saw the English film “The Real Master”. It was good. Came back to railway station and awaited train. Bokaro-Alleppey Express was running very late. Tirumala Express arrived by 3:30. Reached home by 4:00. Listened to cine songs from Vividha Bharati radio station till 5:30. Today it was cloudy. Went to bed by 9:00.

16 July (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Spent at home all the time. Watched Hindi cine songs in “Rangoli” program on Delhi Doordarshan from 7:00 to 8:00. Afternoon watched the Kannada feature film “Rajni” on Delhi Doordarshan. It was marvelous. Evening watched the Telugu feature film “Maa Intiki Randi” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. It was very boring. It was cloudy today. Went to sleep by 9:00.

 17 July (Monday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:45. Today I was completely drenched in rain while going to railway station. Just then Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger left station. I don’t like coming back to home though I miss a train. So, I waited for Tirumala Express. Luckily it arrived by 9:20. Reached Elamanchili by 9:40. Went directly to our college thinking that today classes go on. They told us to come from the following day. I felt very disappointed at that news. Went to type institute and practiced the first exercise from 10:30 to 12:00. Came back to railway station and knew that Bokaro-Alleppey Express was running three hours late. Tirumala Express arrived by 4:00. Reached home by 4:30. Today it was cool and rainy. Went to bed by 9:00.

18 July (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:30. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 7:20. Reached Elamanchili by 7:45. Went to type institute. Just then Murthy had also come. I practiced the second exercise a s d f g f ; l k j h j from 8:00 to 9:30. Then moved to college. Today A and B sections of the HEC group were combined. The lesson on Akbar went on for about 20 minutes in History class. Then Civics Lecturer Rama Rao came and discussed the differences between the unitary and federal forms of government. Then Telugu lecturer came. He introduced the lesson “Sri Krishna Raayabaaram” (the mediation of Lord Krishna in the court of Dhrutharaastra, father of Kauravaas, his hundred sons, being guided by Duryodhana, his eldest son, to resolve the longstanding disputes between Paandavaas and Kauravaas). There were no classes to the arts students in the afternoon session. Came back to railway station and knew that Bokaro-Alleppey Express was running three hours late. Tirumala Express arrived by 3:40. Reached home by 4:10. Today it was cool. Cyclonic rain has been going on for the last four days. Night watched Telugu cine songs in “Chitra Sourabhalu” program on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Today I spent well. Went to bed by 9:00.

 19 July (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:30. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 7:15. Reached Elamanchili by 7:40. Went to type institute and practiced typing from 8:00 to 9:15. Then went to college. History, Civics and Telugu classes went on in the morning session from 10:00 to 12:30. Then came to railway station and knew that Bokaro-Alleppey Express was running two hours late. Kept on waiting. It arrived by 3:30. Reached home by 4:10. I got first class marks in the first year Intermediate with the blessings of Mother Saraswati and Lord Krishna. I wish to get first class even in the second year. I have to dutifully try to achieve it. Watched “Chitra Haar” (a program of Hindi cine songs on Delhi Doordarshan) and went to bed by 9:00.

 20 July (Thursday)

Got up by 5:00. Got ready soon and went to NRPM railway station by 6:30. Godavari Express was a little late today. It arrived by 7:00. Took it and reached Elamanchili by 7:20. Went to Murthy’s house and from there both of us moved to type institute. Today I practiced the third exercise till 9:45. Then moved to college. History, Civics and Telugu classes went on in the morning session. There were no classes in the afternoon because the Ambedkar Open University exams are going on in our classrooms. That news disappointed me. Went to the Friends and Friends Association at Kotha Peta on a general work and thence proceeded to railway station. Knew that Bokaro-Alleppey Express was running ‘indefinite late’ (this means that a train is late for more than eight hours to its scheduled arrival time). Tirumala Express arrived by 4:25. Reached home by 5:00. Today I received a letter from my residential school friend A V Srinivasa Rao. Today it was cool. Went to bed by 9:00.

 21 July (Friday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:30. Today Godavari Express was a little late. It arrived by 6:40. Reached Elamanchili by 7:00. Went to type institute and awaited my hour to begin from 7:50. Then started practicing the third exercise and continued it till 9:30. Then moved to college. History, Civics and English classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon there were no classes. Returned to railway station and awaited Tirumala Express. It arrived by 3:45. Reached home by 4:30. Today it was cool. The sky was full of clouds. Some girls looked at me during initial days of classes of our second year Intermediate. Thereafter they stopped looking at me because I did not care for their looks. Anyhow college days are unforgettable. Evening watched Telugu cine songs in “Chitra Lahari” program on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Went to bed by 10:00.

 22 July (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:20. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:30. Godavari Express had left the station minutes before I reached. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 7:50. Reached Elamanchili by 8:15. Went to type institute and practiced typing till 9:30. Then went to our college. History, Civics and Telugu classes went on in the morning session. Even today there were no afternoon classes. Ambedkar Open University exams are going on in our classrooms. Today I paid my college fee of 58 rupees for the second year. Then came back to railway station. Bokaro-Alleppey Express arrived by 2:00. Evening did some written work. Today it was cool and rainy. Went to bed by 9:00.

23 July (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Owing to frequent power cuts, could not watch even a single program on television. By 2:00 started to our mango grove by hills along with my uncle Narayana Murthy Raju. Returned home by 4:20. Knew that there was a very good Tamil feature film on Delhi Doordarshan this afternoon. I could not watch it. Also could not watch the Telugu feature film on Hyderabad Doordarshan in the evening due to power cut. Went to sleep by 10:00.

 24 July (Monday)

Woke up by 5:00. Today our junior college observes a holiday for the lecturers for some reason. Went to NRPM railway station by 7:00. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 8:00. Reached Elamanchili by 8:20. Went to type institute. Practiced typing from 8:30 to 9:40 and then came back to railway station. Awaited Vizag-Tuni DMU (Diesel Multiple Unit) passenger. It arrived by 11:00. Reached home by 12:00. Spent at home rest of the time. Took a siesta for some time. Prepared civics for sometime. Last night, at around 3:30, I had a dream in which the girl whom I admire was kissed by me in a sensitive and classic manner. Leave it. Today sun rays touched the soil. Went to bed by 9:00.

 25 July (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:30. Godavari Express arrived late. Took it and reached Elamanchili by 7:00. Went to Murthy’s house and spent there till 7:45. Thence went to type institute and practiced the third exercise till 9:10. Then came back to railway station. Simhadri Express arrived by 10:00. Reached home by 10:45. Had my lunch. By 12:00 reached Elamanchili by Tuni-Vizag DMU passenger. Saw the Hindi film “Vijay Path” of Ajay Devgan and Tabu in matinee show at Tulasi Chitra Mandir. It was over by 5:20. Returned to railway station and knew that Godavari Express had already left. Awaited Visakhapatnam-Kakinada passenger. Reached home by 7:35. Had my supper and watched some serials on Doordarshan. Today I spent well. Went to bed by 9.30.

 26 July (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Reached NRPM railway station by 6:30. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 7:15. Reached Elamanchili by 7:40. Went to type institute. Practiced the fourth exercise till 9:30. Came back to station. Today classes were not conducted in our college because some society elections took place in our classrooms. Vizag-Tuni DMU passenger arrived by 11:00. Reached home by 11:30. Had my lunch and took a siesta. Got up soon and did the written work of civics notes till 5:00. My thought follows, “Love binds two human lives. They can’t realize initially that they can’t live away from one another. Meanwhile the society enters the scene to detach them. Love is thus mostly blind which can’t assess future to set right the present when the chance is at hand”. Night watched “Chitra Haar Sada Bahaar” (a program of Hindi cine songs) on Delhi Doordarshan. Went to bed by  9:00.

 27 July (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:20. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:30. Godavari Express was late today. It arrived by 7:00. Reached Elamanchili by 7:20. Went to Murthy’s house and thence both of us moved to type institute. Practiced the fourth exercise till 9:00. Then went to the temple of Lord Anjaneya Swamy by main road. Had two guavas to satisfy my stomach. Then moved to college. Telugu and History classes went on in the morning session. Went out and spent the interval time walking here and there for the sake of passing time. Afternoon only Civics class went on. Came back fast to station. Tirumala Express arrived by 3:45. The validity of my monthly season ticket (with number 702) has expired today. So, I bought another season ticket (with number 711). Night listened to Telugu cine songs on radio. Went to bed by 9:00.

 28 July (Friday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:30. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 6:45. Reached Elamanchili by 7:15. Went to Murthy’s house and thence to type institute. Practiced the fifth exercise from 8:00 to 9:30. Then moved to college. History, Telugu and Civics classes went on in the morning session. During lunch break, went to Ambika Hotel and had tiffin (frequently used word in our state to mean light eating in hotel or at home) poori. Afternoon Economics and Telugu classes went on. Then went to our History Lecturer I Mallikarjuna Rao and asked him to lend me 150 rupees to buy cloth pieces for our college uniform. He must not have money on him that time. He scribbled something on a sheet of white paper assuring my credibility from his authority to the merchant and told me to buy the cloth I needed. Went to Suresh Silks by main road and bought two pieces of cloth. One is for a full-sleeved shirt and one is for trousers. Returned home by Godavari Express. Today it is Sraavana Sukra Vaaram (an auspicious Friday according to Telugu calendar). Went to bed by 10:00.

 29 July (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. Reached NRPM station by 6:30. Took Kakinada-Vizag DMU passenger and reached Elamanchili by 7:20. Went to Murthy’s house and from there to type institute. Moved to college by 9:00. History and Civics classes went on in the morning session. During lunch break went to a hotel and had tiffin for three purees. Afternoon English and Telugu classes went on. Came back to railway station and missed Tirumala Express in a matter of two minutes. Began to wait for Godavari Express. It arrived by 5:10. Reached home by 5:30. Had my supper and did the written work of my Telugu notes. Night the Hindi feature film on Delhi Doordarshan was “Swarg Jaisa Ghar”. I did not watch it. Watched only “Ek Se Badkar Ek” (a program of Hindi cine songs). Went to bed by 10:00.

30 July (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Started to Adduroad by 6:30. Had my haircut. I felt slightly giddy from 7:00 to 9:00. Returned home by 10:00 and Had a head bath. Today I felt sick. Afternoon the Tamil feature film on Delhi Doordarshan was “Vedham Vidhidhu”. It was interesting. Evening the Telugu feature film on Hyderabad Doordarshan was “Gaduggaayi”. It was good.

 31 July (Monday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station. Reached Elamanchili by 7:30 by Kakinada-Vizag DMU passenger. Went to Ganga Hotel by main road and had tiffin of six idlies. It was because this morning I did not have my breakfast at home. Then went to type institute and practiced the fifth exercise till 9:30. Then went to college. Civics and Economics classes went on. Lunch break was from 11:40. Went to railway station along with my classmates and shared their lunch. Returned to college. History and Telugu classes went on in the afternoon session. Then came back to railway station. Godavari Express arrived by 5:15. Reached home by 5:35. Since this morning I am feeling sick. I sensed that I was attacked by low fever. So, I took two Ibuwin Plus tablets with a five-hour gap from tablet to tablet. My dear July month is bidding farewell to me. Thank you dear lovely month. Went to bed by 9:00.

1 August (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready and moved to station. Kakinada-Vizag passenger had already left. Today we don’t have classes at college. Today we have to take our first unit tests. Returned home by 9:00. Had my breakfast by 9:30. Even today I am suffering from low fever. Yet I had rice with curry and buttermilk. From 10:00 to 12:00 sat calmly in the front of our house for keeping my brain idle. Went to railway station again by 12:30. Tuni-Vizag DMU passenger arrived by 1:00. Reached Elamanchili by 1:30. Knew that students without wearing the college uniform are not being allowed to take the unit tests. Yet I went to college and sat for the test in our classroom. The first unit test of English went on from 2:15 to 3:15. From 3:15 to 4:15 Telugu test took place. I did these two tests well. Today I lost my running notes somewhere in which I daily write down notes from classroom teaching. I felt very disturbed at the loss of this valuable book. Returned home by 6:00 by Godavari Express. Welcoming the eighth month of the English calendar, went to bed by 9:00.

2 August (Wednesday)

Got up by 5:00. Did written work of civics notes from 8:00 to 9:00. Then studied economics and civics till 11:00. Then took a bath and had my lunch. Dressed up myself and reached NRPM station by 11:30. Tuni-Vizag DMU passenger arrived by 12:40. Reached Elamanchili by 1:00. Went to Suresh Cloth Stores and paid 160 rupees to its proprietor. Previously I bought two cloth pieces here for getting one pair of college uniform stitched. Our History Lecturer Mallikarjuna Rao was the guarantor for me on 28^th of this month. I owe him for his help and sympathy for a student like me in this regard. Then went to our college and took economics and civics unit tests from 2:15 to 3:30. Came back to station and luckily got Tirumala Express at 3:40. Reached home by 4:00. Suffering from low fever, went to bed by 9:00.

3 August (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Went to Adduroad by 8:00 for getting treatment for my low fever from Saali (this is his caste name in Telugu which stands for weavers. He is known by this name by many of his patients. He came from Pithapuram, a town in East Godavari district, and started a clinic here some years ago. Now it is a hospital in a considerable building. He was the brave doctor who attended treatment to me when I met with a serious accident in April 1992. Then I was on the verge of death. Other qualified doctors in Adduroad feared to touch me. They advised my brother Sambha to take me to Visakhapatnam. The medical degree of this doctor is BHMS) doctor. Waited for him for 90 minutes. By then I was disgusted to wait any more for him and so moved to Dr. P Shiva Prasad. Paid him his consultation fee of ten rupees and bought tablets for ten rupees. Returned home by 10:30. Had my lunch. Reached NRPM railway station by 11:30. Tuni-Vizag DMU passenger arrived by 12:45. Reached Elamanchili by 1:15. Went to college and sat for the unit test. I felt uneasy today. Somehow I did the unit test of history from 2:15 to 3:00. Then went to cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir and bought five samosaas (an Indian dish available in many small hotels but rarely prepared at homes. The samosaas prepared at this cinema are my favorite ones. So, I often take them home to present their taste to our folks) to take home. Came back to station by 3:25. Tirumala Express arrived by 3:40. Reached home by 4:30. Today it was cloudy just like my mind’s condition. I heard that marriage talks are initiated by the parents of Lakshmi to get her married soon. I have been her admirer till now. She goes away from me soon. Save me my Lord Krishna. Sadly went to bed by 9:00.

4 August (Friday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready and reached NRPM station by 6:20. Godavari Express had just arrived. Reached Elamanchili by 7:00. Went to Murthy’s house. He was not at home. Went to Hotel Ganga, by main road, opposite our junior college, and had tiffin of one plain dosa. Then took one Coldact tablet to fight cold which caught me recently. I am taking Sprint Plus and Dexona tablets also from yesterday as prescribed by Dr. P Shiva Prasad at Adduroad. Today I slightly recovered from the hidden low fever. Practiced typing the fifth exercise from 8:00 to 9:00. Its practice was over by today. Typed up a letter to my brother Srinivas and posted it. Returned home by 11:15. Had my lunch. Spent remaining time taking a rest. Night watched “Chitra Lahari” and some other programs on Doordarshan. Today it is second Sraavana Sukra Vaaram. Today Vara Lakshmi Vratham was performed in our house. Trying to keep my mind calm, went to bed by 10:00.

5 August (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station. Vijayawada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 6:25. Reached Elamanchili by 7:00. Went to Hotel Ganga (this is by the bank of muddy and unclean pond near the temple of Lord Anjaneya Swamy) and had tiffin of one plain dosa. Then moved to type institute and practiced sixth exercise till 9:30. Then proceeded to our college. History, Civics and Economics classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon had tiffin of four bajjis (a native dish of Telugu people) at the aforementioned hotel. Then went back to classroom. There were no classes in the afternoon. Reached railway station by 2:30. Tirumala Express arrived by 3:40. Reached home by 4:10. Today I wore my new college uniform. Today my brother Sambha and maternal grandmother of my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani went to Molleru Mallavaram. Low fever is still on in my body. Went to bed by 9:00.

6 August (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Spent all my time at home. Morning watched Rangoli program on Delhi Doordarshan. Then watched the Hindi serial “Chandra Kaantha” on the same. From 11:00 to 12:00 listened to the Telugu feature film “Jagannaatakam” from Hyderabad radio station. Afternoon watched the regional feature film “Sasthaa” on Delhi Doordarshan for sometime. Subtitles in English were not given. So, I could not understand it well. Evening there was a Telugu feature film of Rajnikanth on Hyderabad Doordarshan. I did not watch it. It rained in the evening. I felt sick today. Went to sleep by 9:00.

7 August (Monday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:30. Kakinada-Vizag DMU passenger arrived by 6:35. Reached Elamanchili by 7:30. Practiced typing sixth exercise from 8:00 to 9:15. Then went to college. Civics, History and Economics classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon went to a shop and bought four bananas for one rupee and ate. Also had a lemon soda (the beverage of common man in hot India) for one rupee. Somehow I spent the remaining lunchtime. Telugu and English classes went on in the afternoon session. Reached railway station by 3:50. Bokaro-Alleppey Express (8689) arrived by 4:30. Reached home by 5:00. Did a little written work. Today it was cool since 2:00. My heart has been melancholy for the last five days because these two eyes can’t be happy without seeing those two divine eyes. Man is a fool before destiny. Went to bed by 9:00.

8 August (Tuesday)

Got up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:30. Kakinada-Vizag DMU passenger had just left. Godavari Express arrived by 6:45. Reached Elamanchili by 7:10. Went to type institute and practiced the sixth exercise from 7:50 to 9:10. Then went to college. Civics, History and English classes went on from 10:00 to 12:30. It was cool and cloudy today. Went to Ambika Hotel and had one chapati and one samosa for my lunch. Also had a guava. Today I bought English non-detailed text for six rupees. Telugu and Economics classes went on in the afternoon session. Came back to railway station soon. Luckily Tirumala Express had just arrived. Reached home by 4:20. Watched Telugu cine songs in “Chitra Sourabhalu” program on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Evening I did a little written work. Today I spent well. My thought follows, “Love is eternal. One should admire only one person until one fails to achieve that dream to feel the intensity or sanctity of heart’s pain for the other. If one fails very badly, one likes to kill oneself. Sometimes one can’t do so. So, one leads a passive life”. Went to bed by 9:00.

9 August (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 6:30. Kakinada-Vizag DMU passenger arrived by 7:00. Reached Elamanchili by 7:20. Drizzle was on. Went to post office and wrote a postcard addressing the folks at Hyderabad Doordarshan criticizing the programs they presented last night. By 8:20 moved to library. Spent there till 9:40. Then moved to college. Civics and History classes went on in the morning session. Drizzle was continuing. Went to Hotel Ganga and had six bajjis for four and half rupees. Also had three bananas for one and half a rupee with my classmate Raju. Afternoon explained some topics from first year Intermediate English text to him. He has to clear this subject this time which he failed in the last attempt. Telugu and Economics classes went on from 2:00 to 3:40. Today I bought ten maps of each of India, World and Europe to prepare for the history subject. Tirumala Express arrived by 4:00. Reached home by 4:30. Today it was cloudy. Went to bed by 9:00.

10 August (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:30. Kakinada-Vizag passenger had just left the station. Awaited next train Tirumala Express. It arrived by 10:00. Reached Elamanchili in 20 minutes and went to type institute. Practiced the sixth exercise till 11:10. Then rushed to cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir. Bought a three-rupee ticket and entered the cinema. Saw the Telugu film “Raktha Sindhooram” of Chiranjeevi and Radha. I liked it very much. It tells the viewers that simple and kind people can do nothing for society. Only then, when one takes a sharp axe (an intelligent and brave youth with zeal and drive to erase part of the evil in the form of political criminals in a society must be understood as the sharp axe) to tackle dishonesty and arrogance of corrupt rogues, can the common be benefited, at least a fragment of the society, in which complacent and foolish people live without any initiative or novelty of their own to reform or improve themselves. Reached home by 2:40 by Bokaro-Alleppey Express. Had my lunch. Took a siesta from 3:15 to 4:00. Today it was cloudy. Today it is Raakhee Poornima (an auspicious day according to Telugu calendar). Today we did not have classes at college. Went to bed by 9:00.

11 August (Friday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:30. Morning I did not have my breakfast at home. Kakinada-Vizag DMU passenger arrived by 6:35. Reached Elamanchili by 7:00. Went to Hotel Ganga. Had one onion dosa for three rupees. Then went to type institute. Today I started the seventh exercise. Practiced it till 9:00. Then went to college. I knew that still second year Intermediate English text is not available at Vijaya Lakshmi Book Stall. Today I gave my first year Intermediate economics notebook to a C.E.C. student who got 91 marks in commerce. Civics, Telugu and History classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon went to Jaya Lakshmi Kirana (the word used for retail stores of small size in our state) Shop and had nine small bananas for two rupees. Even Raju, my classmate, did the same to kill his hunger. English and Economics classes went on from 2:00 to 3:40. Rushed to railway station on the bicycle of a friend. Caught Tirumala Express and reached home by 4:10. Night watched Telugu cine songs in “Chitra Lahari” program on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Today it is Sraavana Sukra Vaaram, an auspicious day. Today I spent happily. Went to bed by 10:00.

 12 August (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:30. Vijayawada-Visakhapatnam passenger had just arrived. Reached Elamanchili by 7:00. Practiced the seventh exercise from 8:00 to 9:00. Came back to railway station. Simhadri Express arrived by 9:24. Reached home. Had my lunch. Took my bicycle and started to the house of my uncle Rama Raju at R V Nagaram. Reached there by 11:00. Spent there till 5:00 with my cousins Vasu and Naren. This uncle is a gentleman. I love him for his pure affection for me. Came back to home by 6:00. Today it was somewhat bright. Today it is the second Saturday of the month and so a holiday to our college. This early morning my uncle Narayana Murthy Raju took my paternal grandmother to Visakhapatnam to get her treated by doctor. She is suffering from knee joint pain. Today I spent a good day. Went to bed by 9:00.

13 August (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Spent at home all the day. Watched “Rangoli”, “Chandra Kaantha” and “Woman of India” programs on Delhi Doordarshan in the morning. From 11:00 to 12:00 listened to Telugu cine songs from Hyderabad radio station. Afternoon watched the Telugu feature film “Mr. Pellaam” of Rajendra Prasad on Delhi Doordarshan. Evening watched the Telugu feature film “Mana Desham” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Went to sleep by 9:00.

 14 August (Monday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:30. Kakinada-Vizag DMU passenger arrived by 6:35. Went to type institute and spent there till 8:00 reading the Telugu daily Eenadu. From 8:00 to 9:00 practiced the seventh exercise. Then went to post office. Sent 1000 rupees to my brother Srinivas at Ambala Cantonment by Money Order. Went to college by 10:00. History and Telugu classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon went to Udipi Hotel by main road along with one of my degree college friends. Knew that two bondaas (a local dish available at small hotels) cost three rupees. I did not like to eat them paying such high price. Went to a nearby sweet stall and had 100 grams of Jalebi (a sweet Indian dish) for two rupees and fifty paise. English and Economics classes went on in the afternoon session. “Songs, Jokes and Debate Competitions” are being conducted by the local branch of Bank of Baroda for students. Spent there till 4:45. Returned home by 5:30 by Godavari Express. Spending a good day, went to bed by 9:00.

 15 August (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Today it is really a great day, the day on which we got independence from the cruel rulers of British Empire. Today it is 49^th Independence Day to India. Reached Elamanchili by 7:00 by Kakinada-Vizag DMU passenger. Today I gave holiday even to my practice at type institute. Posted a letter to my residential school friend A V Srinivasa Rao. Went to college by 8:30. All the lecturers and the principal gathered in front of our college. Our principal hoisted the national flag. He spoke for a few minutes on this occasion. Later our History Lecturer Mallikarjuna Rao gave an excellent speech for 20 minutes. In their messages to students, our principal and the history lecturer said that this freedom is a boon given to us after the sacrifices and sufferings of many unknown and known patriots of colonial India. Two Nutrine chocolates were distributed to each student toward the end of this program. Returned home by 12:00 by Vizag-Tuni DMU passenger. Had my lunch and took a siesta till 2:00. Today, on the occasion of the Independence Day, Doordarshan One presented the Hindi feature film “Raja” from 2:20 to 5:00. I also watched “Chitra Sourabhalu” program on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Today I spent well. My best wishes to all my free Indians and my sweetheart Lakshmi. Went to bed by 9:00.

16 August (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 6:30. Kakinada-Vizag DMU passenger had just arrived. It was kept at this station until Visakha Express crossed it and left the next station Regu Palem. Reached Elamanchili by 7:30. Practiced the seventh exercise from 8:00 to 9:45. Then went to college. Civics, Telugu and History classes went on in the morning session. Went to Ambika Hotel by 12:40. Had one chapati for four rupees. Also had one guava for 50 paise. Afternoon English and Economics classes went on. Just after the fifth period, I rushed to railway station to catch Tirumala Express. It arrived by 3:50. There was a load into the train. Reached home by 4:50. By 5:00 the sky turned cloudy. My thought follows, “I think there are some human natures which can be hurt so easily by others that some rogues like that villainous play wherein others get victimized by them like in a silly game”. Spent a good day. Went to bed by 9:00.

 17 August (Thursday)

Got up by 5:17. Today is a holiday to our junior college because it is Krishnaashtami (birth anniversary of Lord Krishna, a festival to Hindus). Some celebrate it tomorrow. A ceremonious worship with mantras (the chant of holy Sanskrit verses by Hindu priests in praise of the presiding deity of temple) takes place tomorrow at the temple of Lord Krishna in our village by my parents in the presence of many devotees. It is my bad luck being unable to attend it because tomorrow is a working day to our college. I accord first place to God in my considerations because He is the creator of humanity and also He is a permanent well-wisher of all creatures in this cosmos. He lived like a man among humans for sometime in the past. He is the almighty and has thousands of eyes to save His servants (devotees) from disasters and sorrows on a daily basis. I don’t know if He takes honorarium from somebody for His compulsory and divine services to the world. Because education is my vitality, represented by Goddess Saraswati, who showers mercy upon me and blesses me always, I like to attend college tomorrow. Sorry my Lord Gopal. Pardon me. I can’t attend your birthday at the temple. You are in my heart no! Today I spent all the time at home. God is everywhere. I want His blessings always. God showers sympathy upon me. Went to bed by 9:00.

18 August (Friday)

Got up by 5:00. Though today it is Sri Krishnaashtami, I am going to our college. Got ready and reached NRPM station by 6:30. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 6:35. Reached Elamanchili by 7:00. Went to type institute. Spent there reading the Telugu daily Eenadu till 8:00. Practiced the seventh exercise from 8:00 to 9:00. It was over by today. Then moved to college. History and Civics classes went on in the morning session. Then moved to Hotel Ganga and had eight bajjis for six rupees. Then moved to college. Silently sat in our classroom from 12:30 to 2:00. Then our Telugu lecturer Narasimha Murthy came. He dictated us notes of the poetry on the wrath of Saint Veda Vyasa (a classic and legendary figure in Sanskrit literature). He assigned me a little work. I carried it out till 3:40. So, I missed Tirumala Express. I did not like to take Bokaro-Alleppey Express at 4:30 because it was heavily crowded with passengers. Reached home by 5:45 by Godavari express. This morning my maternal uncle Krishnam Raju came to our house from Gollalagunta. I knew that my Lord Krishna’s birthday was celebrated well this morning in our village. I spent happily today. Went to sleep by 10:00.

 19 August (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:30. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 6:55. Reached Elamanchili by 7:25. Went to type institute. Practiced the eighth exercise till 9:00. Went to college by 10:00. Civics, History and Telugu classes went on in the morning session. Today our history lecturer taught map pointing with a pencil. Afternoon had three guavas sitting at the temple of Lord Anjaneya Swamy. This afternoon the marks of some unit tests conducted recently were announced in our classroom. I got sixteen and a half marks in English. I felt sad about it. Marks of my first unit Telugu are 23 and of Civics 14. Came back to railway station by 3:10. Bokaro-Alleppey Express had just arrived. Reached home by 3:40. Evening the sky was cloudy. By 4:30 it rained a bit. Today I spent happily. Went to bed by 9:00.

20 August (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Rangoli” and “Chandra Kaantha” programs on Delhi Doordarshan. Today it is the birth anniversary of Rajiv Gandhi. He is a clean man in Indian politics. Evening my uncle Krishnam Raju left for Gollalagunta. Evening the Telugu feature film on Hyderabad Doordarshan was “Dharmaathmudu”. It was very interesting. Went to bed by 9:00.

 21 August (Monday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:55. Reached Elamanchili by 7:20. Spent sometime sitting at bus stop. By 7:30 went to type institute. Practiced the eighth exercise from 7:45 to 8:55. By 9:00 moved to library. Spent there till 9:40. Then went to college. Civics and History classes went on. It was known that our Telugu lecturer would be absent from the classes for six days. He went to Hyderabad for evaluating the answer papers of the Ambedkar Open University exams conducted recently. Afternoon had two guavas sitting at the temple of Lord Anjaneya Swamy. Afternoon Economics and English classes went on. Toward the end of the fifth period, that was by 3:25, it started raining. It continued till 4:25. I reached railway station by 4:45. Godavari Express arrived by 5:57. Reached home by 6:30. Not having sufficient food during lunchtime on my college working days is a problem to me. Night did some written work. My salutes to Lord Krishna. Went to bed by 9:00.

 22 August (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:30. Luckily Godavari Express had just arrived. Reached Elamanchili by 7:00. Spent sometime at bus stop. Went to type institute by 7:30. Practiced the ninth exercise from 8:00 to 9:00. Then moved to library. Spent there till 9:40. Then moved to college. Civics and History classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon had three guavas for one and half a rupee. Afternoon Economics and English classes went on. Reached railway station by 4:30. Godavari Express arrived by 5:30. Reached home by 6:00. Today uncle Satya Narayana Raju came from Molleru Mallavaram. Oh God! Please lead me toward success in my education. This life is a gift of You. Please direct me toward a bright future. Consider me as one of Your creatures. Have mercy upon me. Please give me ample energy with which I can march ahead toward success and happiness. Give me enough mental strength and memory. Went to bed by 9:30.

 23 August (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station. Missed Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger because it arrived at 6:20, its scheduled arrival time to this station. Knowing that Tirumala Express was running half an hour late, moved to the nearby bus stop on the over bridge. Simply sat at the bus shelter till 8:00. Then took a bus and reached Elamanchili by 8:40. Moved to type institute. Practiced the tenth exercise from 8:45 to 9:30. Then moved to college. Civics, Economics and English classes went on in the morning session. There were no classes in the afternoon. Came back to railway station. Knew that Bokaro-Alleppey Express was running five hours late today. So, I moved to cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir and saw the Telugu film “Adavi Premikudu”. It is meant for loafers. There is nothing. Reached home by 5:45 by Godavari Express. Watched television for sometime. Went to bed by 9:30.

 24 August (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:20 not to miss the tricky train even if it arrives at its scheduled time as it happened yesterday. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 7:00. It fooled me. Reached Elamanchili by 7:20. Went to type institute. Spent there reading the Telugu daily Eenadu till 8:00. Practiced the 11^th exercise from 8:00 to 9:00. Then moved to college. Classes were started by 10:00. Civics and History classes went on in the morning session. Telugu class did not take place. Afternoon went to Hotel Ganga and had six rupees of tiffin. It could not fill my stomach even a bit. Need is mine. What to do? Also had three guavas. Evening bought Maha Lacto chocolates for one rupee. Today I spent ten rupees pointlessly. Afternoon Economics and English classes went on. Rushed to railway station. Waited for train for 100 minutes. Godavari Express arrived by 5:15. Reached home by 5:40. Evening the sky was cloudy. Night prepared notes of a subject. Today I spent a good day. Went to bed by 9:00.

 25 August (Friday)

Woke up by 5:20. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 6:30. Vijayawada-Visakhapatnam passenger had just arrived. Reached Elamanchili by 7:00. Spent sometime at bus stop. Moved to type institute by 7:30. Waited for my practice hour which starts from 8:00. Practiced the 11^th exercise till 9:00. Then scanned the Telugu daily Eenadu for a few minutes. Then moved to college. Civics and History classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon went out and had a bun. Then moved to the hotel near cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir and had one onion dosa for three rupees. Also bought three Nutrine chocolates. Afternoon only Economics class went on for a little time. By then it started raining. English class did not take place. Came back to railway station. Tirumala Express arrived by 3:40. Reached home by 4:15. Today is the last day of Sraavana Maasam (a month of Telugu calendar). A happy and cool Telugu month has thus come to an end. Went to bed by 9:30.

 26 August (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready and reached NRPM station by 6:30. Godavari Express had just arrived. Reached Elamanchili by 7:00. Spent sometime at bus stop. Moved to type institute by 7:40. Practiced the third exercise from 8:00 to 9:00. Then moved to college. Prepared a few objective type questions and answers on Mughal Empire for the quiz competition to take place in the second period. Civics class went on in the first period. History quiz competition took place in the second period. Went out and had a lemon soda at Jaya Lakshmi Pan Shop during lunch break. Also bought small bananas for two rupees from the same shop. Also had two guavas. Also bought Nutrine chocolates for one rupee. Bought two one-rupee ballpoint refills. Bought Maha Lacto chocolates for two rupees. Afternoon only English class went on. Went to bed by 10:00.

27 August (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched excellent Hindi cine songs in “Rangoli” program on Delhi Doordarshan. Then followed the Hindi serial “Chandra Kaantha”.  Afternoon there was a Bengali feature film on Delhi Doordarshan. I could not watch it. Evening the Telugu feature film on Hyderabad Doordarshan was “Pelli Koduku”. It was good. Evening refreshed my English language skills a bit reading a book. Somebody came from Molleru Mallavaram. Went to sleep by 9:30.

 28 August (Monday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:30. Today the tricky Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger had left the station at 6:20. Went to the nearby bus shelter and took a bus. Reached Elamanchili by 7:40. Went to type institute and practiced the 11^th exercise from 7:40 to 9:05. Thence went to my brother’s army friend Satya Narayana’s house near railway station and collected some news from his mother to be reached to his son at Ambala Cantonment. Came back to railway station and took Simhadri Express. Reached home by 10:10. Aunt Lakshmi, mother of my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani, my brother Sambha and uncle Satya Narayana Raju started to NRPM railway station. My brother and aunt Lakshmi go to Ambala Cantonment. Afternoon they take Link Express (known as Dakshin Express in North India) from Samalkot station for Hazrat Nizamuddin. From there they go to Ambala Cantonment by another train. Today my maternal uncle Varma spent with us. He started to Gollalagunta by 4:00. I stopped looking at Lakshmi for the last 20 days because she leaves me soon marrying the boy shown by her parents. It is pain to me but I have to face it. I am getting ready to face my future. Today I spent passive day internally. Went to bed by 9:00.

 29 August (Tuesday)

Got up by 5:00. Today it is Vinayaka Chavithi (a holy day for Hindus on which Lord Ganapathi would be worshipped by His devotees). Our college observes a holiday for this reason. Today I spent at home. Took head bath and worshipped Lord Ganapathi. Smeared the water mixed turmeric powder on my books after the worship. I asked Lord Ganesh to prevent hurdles in my way of improvement in future and to bless me with happiness and success in my constructive endeavors toward refinement. Helpless humans can achieve nothing if many obstacles block their paths of endeavors. Dear Lord Ganapathi! Remove obstacles from my path of improvement. Bless me with a glorious life. Alleviate my mental stress also if possible. Help me be bright in my education. Bless me with a studious and strong memory brain. Avoid bad luck from my way of life which comes from rumors. This small list of wishes is enough. You can’t fulfill my other wishes. You would have a long list of the wishes of other devotees no! Today I watched a few programs on Doordarshan. Had tasty eatables prepared at home on this holy occasion. Today it poured. Night watched Telugu cine songs on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Thus I spent happily today. Went to bed by 9:00.

 30 August (Wednesday)

Got up by 4:00. Felt that it is not good to start the day that early and so went back to bed to sleep for some more time. Got ready and reached NRPM station by 6:00. Godavari Express arrived by 6:30. Bought a monthly season ticket by 6:45. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 7:00. Reached Elamanchili by 7:20. The idols of Lord Ganapathi put up at many places in Elamanchili created a devotional atmosphere in this locality. Also the attractive sounds of cine songs from loudspeakers were delightful. The streets were decorated with different colors of little electric bulbs. Practiced the 12^th exercise from 8:00 to 9:00. Civics and Telugu classes went on in the morning session. The drizzle was on. Afternoon had one plain dosa for two rupees at the hotel near cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir. Also had one guava. Afternoon English and History classes went on. Tirumala Express arrived by 4:00. Reached home by 4:40. My prayers to Lord Krishna and Mother Saraswati to direct me in a good path. Went to bed by 9:00.

31 August (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:20. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 6:30. Reached Elamanchili by 7:00. Spent sometime at the temple of Lord Anjaneya Swamy. The drizzle was on. Moved to type institute by 7:30. Practiced the 12^th exercise from 8:00 to 9:00. Went to college by 9:20. Civics, History and Telugu classes went on till 12:30. It turned hot and dry by this time. Went to the hotel near cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir and had one onion dosa for three rupees. Had samosaas for two rupees elsewhere. Also had five green bananas for two rupees elsewhere. Then moved to college. English class went on till 2:50. Reached railway station. Waited for train for about one hour. Tirumala Express arrived by 4:00. Reached home by 4:30. Today it is a sad and bad day to Telugu film actor Rama Rao because he lost his designation submitting his resignation to the governor. It is his bad luck. Thank you my dear eighth month August. Good bye to you. You gave me happy days. Went to bed by 9:00.

1 September (Friday)

My hearty welcome to the ninth English month September. Dear month, please bring me happiness and progress. Woke up by 5:00. Got ready and reached NRPM station by 6:20. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived at its right time. Reached Elamanchili by 6:40. Spent sometime at railway station. Moved to type institute by 7:30. Practiced the 12^th exercise from 8:00 to 9:00. Moved to college by 9:10. Civics and History classes went on till 11:40. Afternoon the sky turned cloudy. Went to Hotel Ambika and had one plate of chapati and one plate of Jalebi  for six rupees. This is a foolish way to satisfy my stomach. Afternoon only English class went on. Reached the station by 6:30. Tirumala Express arrived by 4:20. Reached home by 4:50. Today it was rainy. I pray Lord Krishna to give me good days in this month. Went to bed by 9:00.

2 September (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready and reached NRPM station by 6:20. Vijayawada-Visakhapatnam passenger had just arrived. Reached Elamanchili by 6:40. Spent my time in the railway station till 7:30. Then went to type institute. Completed the 12^th exercise by 9:00. Then moved to college. Civics, History and Telugu classes went on till 12:30. Afternoon my lunch was one rupee of Nutrine chocolates. Afternoon only English class went on. Reached the station by 3:00. Tirumala Express arrived by 4:00. Reached home by 4:30. Evening and night did some written work. Even today it was cool and cloudy. Spending a pleasant day, went to bed by 9:00.

3 September (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Spent at home all the time. Owing to continuous power cuts in our village for the last three days, today I could not watch even a single program on television. Spent all the day scribbling something. Listened to radio for sometime. Went to sleep by 9:00.

4 September (Monday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:20. Godavari Express arrived by 6:30. Reached Elamanchili by 7:00. Spent sometime at the temple of Lord Anjaneya Swamy and then proceeded to type institute. Read Vasundhara section of the Telugu daily Eenadu  for sometime. I like reading this section of the newspaper every Monday to know the attitudes of  young women through their questions put to experts. Practiced the 13^th exercise from 8:00 to 9:00. Then moved to college. Civics, Telugu and History classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon moved to the hotel near cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir. At this hotel the prices of food items look reasonable and affordable to me compared to those at other small hotels in this town. Had one onion dosa. Also bought half a rupee of Nutrine chocolates. Today I met my residential school friend Appa Rao of Gollaprolu. I felt happy to see him after a long time. Afternoon English and Economics classes went on. Godavari Express arrived by 5:20. Reached home by 5:45. Spending a good day, went to bed by 9:00.

5 September (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready and reached NRPM station. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger  arrived by 6:30. Reached Elamanchili by 7:00. Loitered here and there for sometime. Then went to type institute and practiced the 13^th exercise from 8:00 to 9:00. Then moved to college. Today it is Teachers Day. Today Servepalli Radha Krishnan’s birth anniversary is being celebrated in India. He was born into a middle class Telugu Brahmin family at town Tiruttani, 64 kilometers to the northwest of Madras. He reached the prestigious position of India’s President from his humble beginning as a schoolteacher. He worked in Mysore, New Delhi, Visakhapatnam and many other places in various academic and political disciplines. He is a philosopher. Today Teachers Day was celebrated well in our college. Afternoon went to cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir and saw the English film “The Other Woman”. The essence I took from this film is that living female nudity tempts the male viewers and makes them crave for it again and again. It is a kind of satisfaction one feels in oneself in relation to one’s basic instincts of sexual nature. Anyhow it is a good film to see. Spent today happily and went to bed by 9:00.

6 September (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:25. Reached Elamanchili by 7:00. Spent sometime at railway station and proceeded to type institute by 7:40. Practiced the 13^th exercise from 8:00 to 9:00. Went to college by 9:15. Morning I heard a sad news. Subba Rao, a final year student of Government Degree College at Elamanchili, when coming to  college, was hit by a lorry, while riding his newly bought bike, near village Regu Palem, on the National Highway 5. I found many students lamenting his untimely death. A small scooter accident also took place on main road in Elamanchili near the temple of Lord Anjaneya Swamy when a sixth standard student was crossing road. I could not digest this pain related to humans. It is the latest experience of my familiarity with the universal truth that none is beyond destiny. High school, junior and degree colleges in Elamanchili were kept closed today as an expression of condolence to the departed soul of this familiar student. Went to bed by 9:00.

7 September (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:20. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 6:30. Completed practicing the 13^th exercise by 9:00. History and Telugu classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon had tiffin for four rupees. English and Economics classes went on in the afternoon session. Returned home by 6:00 by Godavari Express. Today is a special day for me because a very fine stage of human life, teenage, is taking leave of me today. I mean today is the last day of my 19^th year of life. I think my teenage has gone away from me like a mischievous thief. In other words, by the time I realized that teenage is a great period of human life, it has disappeared from me. No girl spoke to me with love to fulfill my instinct for spending in the company of a creature of opposite sex. It has all been innocence and ignorance. My teenage days were directed by Lord Krishna, Mother Saraswati, Lord Ganesh, Lord Hanuman and Lord Shiva. My sad and helpless farewell to my simple and shadowy teens. I am touched to bid farewell to my vanishing teens. It never returns to me with its spirit of imaginations and its memorable tragedy of belongingness to nothing. My salutes to Lord Krishna. Let Him guide my youth which is at the doorstep of my abode of lonely life. I wish the best to Lakshmi before leaving my invaluable teenage which is blending with the past. Went to bed by 9:00.

8 September (Friday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:20. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 6:45. Reached Elamanchili by 7:30. Practiced the 14^th exercise from 8:00 to 9:00. History and Telugu classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon had three rupees of bananas and one lemon soda for one rupee. Afternoon English and Economics classes went on. Came back to railway station and knew that Tirumala Express had just left. Godavari Express arrived by 5:15. Today it is my birthday. On this date, 19 years ago, I entered this creation as an infant. September 8, 1976, is a date for me to be remembered once a year at least. Today I enter my 20^th year of life. My prayers to Lord Krishna to bless me with a bright life. My prayers to Mother Saraswati to guide me in my life of learning. My prayers to Lord Ganapathi to prevent obstacles in the path of improvement of my life. Today I did not celebrate my birthday. My parents don’t celebrate birthdays. I don’t have money to do it. It is all a costly affair for me. Went to bed by 9:00.

9 September (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:20. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 6:35. Reached Elamanchili by 7:30. Today I completed practicing the 14^th exercise by 9:00. Came back to railway station soon. Simhadri Express arrived by 9:25. Reached home by 10:00. Had my lunch. Spent rest of the time at home writing economics, history, Telugu and English notes. It rained a bit in the afternoon. My thought follows, “There is no salvation or satisfaction to the soul or psyche of human being until the body dies. For example, I passed my first year Intermediate in first class. I don’t/shouldn’t satisfy with that achievement. The following personal or societal obligation is to achieve the same level of success or even more in the second year also. Helpless and hard human endeavors for a better tomorrow must be always on without considering the interests or preferences of the individuals concerned. So, there won’t be rest to humans until death occurs naturally or prematurely”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

10 September (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Spent at home all the day. Could not watch any program on Doordarshan due to power cut. For sometime, lazed about on bed. Afternoon watched a regional feature film on Delhi Doordarshan. Evening the Telugu feature film on Hyderabad Doordarshan was “Bangaaru Kaapuram”. It was interesting. I pray God to take care of Lakshmi. Went to sleep by 9:00.

 11 September (Monday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:20. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 6:30. Reached Elamanchili by 7:30. Proceeded to type institute. Today I completed practicing the 15^th exercise. Then moved to college. Only History and Telugu classes went on in the morning session. There were no classes in the afternoon. The beautiful sky turned cloudy. Posted a letter to our former English Lecturer Vijaya Prabha conveying my depressive notions due to her going away from our college. She was recently transferred to the Government Junior College at Pendurti near Visakhapatnam from our college. Went to cinema Sita Chitra Mandir by 2:00. Had two plain dosas for four rupees at the small hotel near cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir. Spent my time seeing the Telugu film “Rati Vignaanam” (the science of human sex), a  sex educational film, from 2:30 to 4:30. It advises men to behave like humans in conjugal life with their female counterparts. Behaving like a beast with the partner may give devilish pleasure to the brutal man but the soft and vulnerable organs of female body may severely get hurt by the thoughtless and eccentric onslaught of man. Man should know about the pain of his partner rather than expecting her to reveal it. The female partner would be mostly passive and can’t be outspoken about her bodily pleasures and pains. It is man that needs to balance his primitive and animal instincts with her personal interests without hurting her. The massive spread of AIDS in India is mainly due to men that resort to sex workers for their temporary or fantastic bodily pleasures. Reached home by 5:50 by Godavari Express. Went to bed by 9:00.

 12 September (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:20. Godavari Express arrived by 6:30. Reached Elamanchili by 7:00. Moved to type institute. Shower was continuing. Presently the students that failed in some subjects of their first year Intermediate are not coming to the classes. It is to be understood that they are in their preparation holidays. For this reason, even the ones that passed all the subjects in their first year Intermediate have to stay away from the classes. Practiced the 16^th exercise till 9:00. Came back to railway station. Simhadri Express arrived by 11:00. Reached home by 11:30. Had my lunch. Took a siesta for one hour. Watched the Hindi serial “Swaabhimaan” on Delhi Doordarshan for sometime. Today I ate sesame laddoo (we call it Chimmili in Telugu. It is prepared mixing the well washed and dried up sesame with jaggery. Sesame and jaggery is crushed in a rocky domestic appliance with long wooden domestic tools. Emergence of oil from this combination is the indication that the eatable is ready. It is a sweet and nutritious eatable prepared by many in the villagers of Andhra Pradesh. It may have different names in other dialects of Telugu in this state). Evening watched Telugu cine songs on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Today it was dry from 2:00. Today it is Hindi Day, meant for celebrating the importance of learning and using this national language of India for national harmony and integration. I have some knowledge of Hindi language. I can speak, write, read and understand Hindi. Presently my paternal grandmother is in Visakhapatnam getting treatment for her knee joint pains. So, my cousin Ravindra Varma, who is staying with my paternal grandparents for his schooling, is staying with us from yesterday. Went to bed by 9:00.

 13 September (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:20. Godavari Express arrived by 7:15. Reached Elamanchili by 7:40. Had a plate of pooris for three rupees. Proceeded to type institute. Practiced the 16^th exercise from 8:00 to 9:00. Came back to railway station. Simhadri Express arrived by 9:27. Reached NRPM station by 10:00. Got home by 10:15. Had my lunch. My paternal grandmother is getting treatment at the NIT Hospital in Visakhapatnam. May God bless her with an early recovery. May her live a long life with her lover (our grandfather) Thammi Raju. Today I spent much time at home. Watched programs of the U.G.C., Hindi serial “Shanti” and “Chitra Haar Sada Bahaar” on Delhi Doordarshan. Parrots are making sweet sounds flying in the sky. My cousin Ravindra Varma is staying with us. My prayers to all the gods and Mother Saraswati. Spending a calm day, went to bed by 9:00.

 14 September (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:20. Godavari Express arrived by 6:45. Reached Elamanchili by 7:15. Went to a small hotel by the station road and had a plate of pooris for three rupees. Then moved to type institute. Practiced the 16^th exercise till 8:30. Even the 17^th exercise was over by 9:00. Came back to railway station. Simhadri Express arrived by 9:30. Reached home by 10:10. Had my midday meal. Even today I spent at home most of the time. Watched some programs like Hindi serial “Shanti”, “Lipi kee Kahaanee” and Hindi serial “Swaabhimaan” on Delhi Doordarshan. Evening ironed my clothes. Today low fever attacked me. Today it was sultry and dry. Yesterday I had my haircut at Adduroad. My thought follows, “There is God far away from us to save and direct the lives of simpletons like me. Otherwise the sinners of Kali Yuga (the last period of the time according to Hindu mythology after which “Pralayam” (total destruction of universe) occurs) torture and ridicule them”. Spent a slow day and went to bed by 9:00.

 15 September (Friday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:20. Kakinada-Vizag DMU passenger arrived by 6:40. Reached Elamanchili by 7:15. Spent sometime at bus stop. Then spent sometime at the temple of Lord Anjaneya Swamy. Then moved to type institute. Practiced the 18^th exercise from 8:00 to 9:00. Then returned to railway station. Visakhapatnam-Vijayawada passenger arrived by 9:30. Reached home by 10:15. Had my lunch. Had a siesta till 11:15. Then freshened up myself and started to the house of my uncle Rama Raju at Raja Venkata Nagaram on bicycle. Spent there from 12:30 to 4:45. Then took bicycle and returned home by 5:25. Today it turned cloudy in the evening. Today I spent very happily at Raja Venkata Nagaram. Slept on bed under the pleasant air of ceiling fan. I told many things to my maternal aunt Raja Kumari. My uncle Rama Raju is a jovial person. He always greets and treats others with a smiling face. Went to bed by 9:00.

 16 September (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:20 on bicycle. Practiced the 19^th exercise from 8:00 to 9:00. Bought some tablets at a medical store and moved to cinema Venkateswara. Saw the English film  “Queen”. It is almost a show of fights. After the show of some part of the film, a few nude physical human encounters were shown. They followed an odd manner of physical human connections aping animal culture. If one sees such films for once, one can’t be without seeing such films often. I mean it is a bad habit which leads one toward deterioration of one’s character. So, hereafter, I won’t see such films. I hate the present trend of films. Everywhere in the dialogues and songs, we can find puns or double meaning words. Went to bed by 9:00.

17 September (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Spent at home all the day. Afternoon watched the Konkani feature film “Sethu” on Delhi Doordarshan. Evening watched the Telugu feature film “Bhuvaneshwari” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. It was all about love and purity of human relationships. In deep love, victory leads to marriage and failure resorts to suicide. Today it was cloudy. It rained a bit. Went to sleep by 9:00.

 18 September (Monday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:20 on bicycle. Godavari Express arrived by 6:25. Reached Elamanchili and spent sometime sitting alone in the railway station. Moved to bus stop by 7:00. Spent sometime over there. Practiced the 19^th exercise from 8:00 to 9:00. It was over by today. Today I practiced part of the 20^th exercise also. Then came back to railway station. Simhadri Express arrived by 9:30. Reached home by 10:00. Today, most of the time, I spent at home. For the last four days, I have been suffering from low fever, cold and phlegm. My eyes became weak. My body turned thin. My head is dizzy. My thought follows, “Tender beauty is a boon gifted by God to girls and women. Otherwise males won’t be attracted toward them by which admiration and attachment form between them which adds beauty to this living human world. God is maintaining secrecy in this regard applying His magic upon them from sky”. Went to bed by 9:00.

 19 September (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready and reached NRPM station by 6:30. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 6:40. Reached Elamanchili by 7:15. Spent sometime at bus stop. Then moved to type institute. Practiced the 20^th exercise till 9:00. Then came back to railway station. Simhadri Express arrived by 9:30. Reached home by 10:15. Spent sometime at home. Then went to NRPM railway station again. Alleppey-Bokaro Express arrived by 1:15. Got off it at Elamanchili and moved to Government Hospital to get treatment for my low fever. There was no doctor. Bought five rupees of tablets: two Ibuwin Plus tablets for low fever and two B complex tablets. Today I saw the Telugu film “Sukha Samsaaram” in cinema Sita Chitra Mandir. Though I have decided not to see such obscene films, I couldn’t control myself. Evil attracted me. But, very soon I will achieve it. It is not a bad film. It discusses human health. It shows that nowadays youth inculcate bad habits of drugs and the like and thus they gradually ruin their health being unable to escape from that fatal web. Reached home by 5:50 by Godavari Express. Went to bed by 9:00.

 20 September (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. From today onwards I won’t go to our college by the morning train. So, went to NRPM station by 9:15. Tirumala Express arrived by 9:50. Reached Elamanchili and proceeded to college. The Intermediate First Year September English question paper was given well. Many said that they did not do this exam well, especially the grammar section. Completed practicing the 20^th and 21^st exercises from 12:40 to 2:10. Bokaro-Alleppey Express arrived by 2:50. Reached home by 3:20. Night watched “Chitra Haar” program on Delhi Doordarshan. Today it was hot and cool. Even today I felt low fever. Cold is also troubling me. Today a fine day went on, especially today I did my duty my best practicing typing with much joy and satisfaction. Lakshmi is a good girl. I am proud of her education and beauty. Let God care her well. Let God present her a good life partner. She must be happy. I like to see her always smiling and others also smiling in response to her smiles. Went to bed by 9:00.

 21 September (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Spent at home in the morning. Reached NRPM railway station by 11:30. From there I moved to the nearby temple of Lord Shiva. Spent there for sometime. There one finds a holy and serene atmosphere. Prayed Lord Shiva to direct me in a good path. The small pond opposite the temple is an attractive creation in the name of God meant for His devotees. Alleppey-Bokaro Express arrived by 1:00. Reached Elamanchili by 1:30. Completed practicing the 22^nd  and 23^rd exercises between 1:45 and 3:10. Then came back to railway station. Tirumala Express arrived by 3:40. Reached home by 4:30. Today it was cool and hot. Evening it drizzled a bit. Even today I am looking weak. Eyes are weary. I pray God to give me good constitution and good memory by which I can be respected in the society. I can’t tolerate failure in my education at all. Spent a good day and went to bed by 9:00.

 22 September (Friday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning spent sometime at home. Then went to Adduroad on bicycle on an errand and returned. Reached NRPM railway station by 12:00. Alleppey-Bokaro Express arrived by 1:00. Practiced the 23^rd exercise from 1:20 to 2:15. Then came back to railway station. Tirumala Express arrived by 3:50. Reached home by 4:30. Today my brother Srinivas came from Molleru Mallavaram. He came from Ambala Cantonment on a casual leave of ten days. He has to start back to Ambala Cantonment very soon. Today it was cool and cloudy. My brother brought Rexona toilet soaps, bananas, sweets and biscuit packets. Today an interesting and surprising thing occurred in India. The idols of Lord Ganesh were said to be drinking milk if anybody placed it at His trunk. Night watched “Chitra Lahari” program on Hyderabad Doordarshan. My brother Srinivas said that my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani and her mother Lakshmi have safely reached Molleru Mallavaram from Ambala Cantonment. May God bless me. God! Let me walk in my path of education without being hindered by obstacles. Give me success in the ensuing Lower Grade Typewriting Examination. Today I spent a silent day. Went to bed by 10:00.

 23 September (Saturday)

Got up by 5:00. Reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Tirumala Express arrived by 9:18. Reached Elamanchili by 9:25. Went to public library. Spent there till 11:00. Loitered here and there for sometime. Practiced the 24^th exercise from 1:30 to 2:15. Also practiced part of the 25^th exercise. Then came back to railway station. Tirumala Express arrived by 3:40. Reached home by 4:30. Today it was cool and cloudy. Even today I am looking weak. Today my brother Srinivas spent his time at home. My thought  follows, “Polite way of talking and the related humble behavior certainly count. It earns respect to any person. A good mind presents a good life to one though there may be a little delay”. Night watched “Ek Se Badkar Ek” (a program of Hindi cine songs) on Delhi Doordarshan. Went to bed by 9:00.

24 September (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. As per the schedule, I was to go to Molleru Mallavaram along with my brother Srinivas. Reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Took Simhadri Express and reached Samalkot Junction station by 12:30. Thence took a bus and reached Jaggampeta. Reached Gollalagunta in a sharing auto rickshaw by 2:30. Spent sometime at the house of my maternal grandparents.   Reached Molleru Mallavaram by 6:30 taking a bus from Jaggampeta. Went to sleep by 9:00.

 25 September (Monday)

Woke up by 5:00. Today I spent much of my time at the house of grandfather (maternal grandfather of my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani) Venkatapathi Raju. Went to their rice mill. Spent there from 8:00 to 11:00. Then came back to their house. Had my midday meal. Spent sometime reading the book Eanadu Aadi Vaaram, the Sunday supplement of the Telugu daily Eenadu. Anyhow it must be said that time is passing very slowly for me here at Mallavaram. All the time I have to spend sitting alone on bed reading some book. Kumari (the maternal aunt of my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani); Raja, her son; Uppalapati Krishnam Raju, the husband of Kumari, who has been bed-ridden for five years due to inability in his backbone caused by an accident in Hyderabad; Lakshmi, the mother of my sister-in-law; Sowjanya, the younger sister of my sister-in-law; Satya Narayana Raju, the father of my sister-in-law; Chanti Babu (another name of Venkatapathi Raju, used by many of his relatives), the maternal grandfather of my sister-in-law; maternal grandmother of my sister-in-law; Padmaja, the daughter of Kumari, and Dora, the boy that came from our village Ramayyapatnam to work here as domestic help at the house of sister-in-law, spent affectionately with me during these two days. Molleru Mallavaram (Mallavaram is called in association with Molleru, a village near this, to avoid the confusion of village names which is common in India) is a big village. There are very few educated people here. There is no provision of quality primary education to the children in this village. There is a small cinema in this village. They show somewhat old Telugu films during night only. Night watched my favorite Telugu serial “Gaandharva Maalatheeyam” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Went to bed by 9:00.

 26 September (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Today my brother Srinivas is leaving for Ambala Cantonment. Mysore Pak (a famous sweet in South India available in sweet stalls) sweets were prepared for him. Today I spent most of my morning time talking with the husband of aunt Kumari (about many bad things happening in India now). Had my lunch by 12:00. My brother got ready by then to go to Samalkot railway station. Thence he takes the Link Express for Hazrat Nizamuddin. From there he goes to Ambala Cantonment. By 12:30 he started to Jaggampeta on the scooter of a person in this village. All the people in the house of my sister-in-law bade farewell to my brother when the scooter was distancing from their view. Sad mood played in the eyes of my sister-in-law to feel that intense moment of bidding farewell to her newly married creature, a temporary separation from her destined lover for some months. By 1:15 I moved to the bus shelter in this village near Mahatma Gandhi statue. The bus arrived by 1:40. Reached Jaggampeta by 2:10. By 3:30 took a Vijaya Nagaram bound Metro Liner bus. The fare up to Adduroad is 24 rupees. I enjoyed the delightful journey in the bus looking out of the window. By 6:30 I reached Adduroad. From there took a sharing auto rickshaw of our villager to our village Ramayyapatnam (its old name is Raajula Kothuru. It got this name because many Kshatriyas used to live in this village once. Now there are very few Kshatriyas in this village. Many of them moved to other parts of this state to attend the duties of their lives and settled there permanently. Some come here now and then for attending the celebrations of important festivals like Sankranti or other occasions which they need to attend to gain something financially. Emotional bond is lost now. Nowadays it is materialism that motivates villagers also. This is how the beauty and integrity of village culture and tradition got lost in the run of time due to onslaught of urbanization and the related influences of transition). Reached home by 7:10. Today I spent joyfully. Went to bed by 9:00.

 27 September (Wednesday)

Got up by 6:00. Spent at home till 10:00. Then moved to railway station. Tirumala Express arrived by 10:15. Reached Elamanchili by 10:40. Moved to our college. Today the September Examination of First Year Intermediate Civics was conducted in our college. The question paper was easy. By 11:30 went to Lakshmi Narayana Type Institute. From 12:00 to 2:00 completed practicing the 25^th, 26^th , 27^th and 28^th exercises. Then came back to railway station. Today Bokaro-Alleppey Express left the station at its scheduled departure time, a rare occurrence in its recent history of travel. Tirumala Express arrived by 3:50. Reached home by 4:40. Today I heard that, Naga Mani, a girl student of our H.E.C. Intermediate second year, committed suicide, jumping into a well, because clashes took place among their family members. Another suicide case of a girl student from a degree college in Anakapalle also came to my notice. This girl committed suicide drenching herself in kerosene and then setting fire to herself because she failed in her love affair. Her parents denied her love. A helpless soul went to the upper world due to the tyranny of her folks. I felt depressed at these two occurrences. May God enable my heart to witness more pain and tragedy in this world. Went to bed by 9:00.

 28 September (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 9:15. Tirumala Express arrived by 10:40. Reached Elamanchili by 11:00. Spent at bus stop for one hour. Then moved to type institute. Practiced typing from 12:00 to 2:00. Today I completed the 29^th, 30^th, 31^st and part of the 32^nd exercise. Then came back to railway station. Bokaro-Alleppey Express had already left the station. Tirumala Express arrived by 3:40. Reached home by 4:20. I am happy about my learning typewriting though much of my time is being wasted in this pursuit. An entire day is being spent outdoors for these two hours of typing practice. It would be my first attempt in the typewriting examination. I think this learning helps me in some way. Anyway, there must be the blessings of God for any useful thing to happen in one’s life. He is the secret director of this drama in this huge cosmos. Human beings are particles in the creation of God. As a believer in the supremacy of God, I praise and worship Him. Spent a good day. Went to bed by 9:00.

 29 September (Friday)

Got up by 5:00. Morning went to Adduroad on an errand and returned soon. Reached NRPM railway station by 9:15. Tirumala Express arrived by 10:00. Reached Elamanchili by 11:00. I heard that, a gang man, working on the railway track, was crushed by a fast approaching train, which he failed to observe. Death is a predicament and accident associated with one’s life being ready to attack one at any time. Went to Balu Type Institute. Practiced typing from 11:30 to 2:00. Today I practiced exercises from 29 to 34. I must complete practicing these exercises very soon. Then I will start practicing speed typing. As soon as this typing practice was over, I moved to post office. Recently a book came from Jaipur for my brother Srinivas. Today I sent it to his address at Ambala Cantonment by ordinary post. I affixed four rupees of postal stamps on it. Then came back to railway station. Tirumala Express arrived by 3:31. Reached home by 4:00 on my bicycle kept at the railway station. Today it was cool and hot. Today my aunt Raja Kumari came from R V Nagaram. She stayed here at night. Night watched Telugu cine songs in “Chitra Lahari” program on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Went to bed by 9:00.

 30 September (Saturday)

Got up by 5:00. Stayed at home till 9:00. Then moved to NRPM railway station. Tirumala Express arrived by 10:00. Reached Elamanchili by 10:30. Moved to library and spent there till 11:00. Then moved to cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir and saw the English film “Life Classes”. It is a film of nude female models. Practiced typing at type institute from 1:15 to 2:00. All the learning exercises of typing were over by today. On this occasion, I moved to cinema Parameswari and saw the Telugu film “Taj Mahal”. It is an excellent film of Sri Kanth and the newly introduced heroine Monica Bedi. It has a neat and engaging story. Two lovers must watch this film together. I derived much pleasure from seeing this film. Returned home by Godavari Express. Night watched Hindi cine songs in “Ek Se Bad Kar Ek” program on Delhi Doordarshan. Went to bed by 10:00.

1 October (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Today my parents went to Molleru Mallavaram to see my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani. They took Visakhapatnam-Vijayawada passenger at NRPM station for Samalkot Junction. Today there was no power supply from 11:00 to 5:00 because of which I could not watch any program on television. Evening watched the Telugu feature film “Ilavelpu” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Listened to Telugu cine songs on radio before sleeping. The entire day sailed well. Went to sleep by 9:00.

2 October (Monday)

Got up by 5:20. Stayed at home till 10:00. Then moved to railway station on bicycle. Vijayawada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 11:00. Reached Elamanchili by 11:30. There was no work to be done. Moved to type institute. There was no the master of type institute. Returned to railway station. Vizag-Tuni DMU passenger arrived by 1:00. Reached home by 1:30. Today I bought a monthly train season ticket. Today it is the birth anniversary of Mahatma Gandhi. Many say that he is a great man. Some argue that he is a nasty bloke. Leave it aside. I believe that he must be said to be a great person in terms of his proficiency in English and his philosophical bent of mind. He led India’s freedom struggle. He remained as an unforgettable and exemplary personality in the hearts of millions of people in India and abroad. Today it was hot. Cooking and sweeping like activities are being undertaken by us two brothers in our house. I became weak because I am not eating quality food at the supposed times of the day. Today I spent a silent day. Went to bed by 9:00.

3 October (Tuesday)

Got up by 5:00. Today it is Vijaya Dasami (a Hindu festival). It is being celebrated all over India. I pray Goddess Parvati to provide me with enough physical strength and good memory power to remember my educational content well. Mother, bless me with success and a peaceful mind. Rule me and direct me with a compassionate heart. I am Your son. Keep me away from the polluted things of the world. Fill me with devotional feelings. Went to the house of my uncle Rama Raju at Raja Venkata Nagaram by 10:40 on bicycle. Spent there talking with my cousins Narendra Varma and Vasu. Also had some eatables prepared by my aunt on the occasion of Vijaya Dasami. Tested the wisdom of the two sons of my uncle Rama Raju in mathematics for sometime. Thus I spent delightfully. Came back to home by 4:35. Today the power was restored by 5:00. Evening watched Telugu cine songs in “Chitra Sourabhalu” program on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Presently Dasara holidays are going on. I must utilize these holidays but I could not prove fruitful in this regard. May God bless me. May gods bless my sweetheart Lakshmi and avoid her mental stress. Went to bed by 9:00.

4 October (Wednesday)

Got up by 4:30. The domestic chores of cooking and sweeping went on till 8:30. Then got ready soon and moved to NRPM station on bicycle. Tirumala Express arrived by 11:30. Reached Elamanchili by 11:50. Moved to type institute. Today it was kept closed. Paid 175 rupees to the master of this type institute as examination fee to the Lower Grade Typewriting Examination. I also gave him the photocopy of my tenth standard marks list and four passport size photos. Today it is Ekaadasi, an auspicious day according to Telugu calendar. It rained for sometime in the afternoon. Loitered here and there for sometime. Reached railway station by 3:20. Tirumala Express arrived by 4:50. Reached home by 5:30. Night watched “Chitra Haar”, the program of Hindi cine songs, on Delhi Doordarshan. Today I wore my new light blue shirt (of Kumar brand). Today I spent much time outdoors. Did not have food in time. Today my parents returned home finishing their little tour. Today I wasted all my daytime. Mother Saraswati! Bless me with sagacity. Give me tranquil mind. Keep my life pure. Went to bed by 9:00.

5 October (Thursday)

Got up by 5:00. Stayed at home till 9:00. Then moved to NRPM station on bicycle. Tirumala Express arrived by 10:15. Reached Elamanchili by 10:40. Moved to public library. Spent there till 11:05. Then moved to bus stop. Spent there for sometime. Went to type institute by 11:30. Today I started speed typing and practiced it from 11:40 to 2:05. I have to improve my speed of typing words per minute. This practice involves finishing typing up certain amount of text in 15 minutes. Moved to railway station after typing practice. Waited for Tirumala Express from 2:15 to 4:10. Reached home by 5:05.  My thought follows, “This is a period of time during which one must be very careful. One can’t decide whether something is right or wrong. Sometimes wrong can be treated as right and now and then right may be proved as evil. Only God knows whether something is good or bad. He never shares that wisdom with humans”. Went to bed by 9:00.

6 October (Friday)

Got up by 5:00. Stayed at home till 9:00. Then started to NRPM railway station on foot. Tirumala Express arrived by 10:00. Got off it at Elamanchili and spent sometime at bus stop. Moved to  type institute by 11:30. Started practicing speed typing from 11:45. It went on till 2:10. Even today I took 20 minutes to finish typing the given text. It was raining lightly. Moved to cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir and saw the Telugu version of the English film “Jurassic Park”. It is an interesting film. After the show, moved to railway station. Godavari Express arrived by 5:40. Reached home by 6:30. My thought follows, “Girls and women are more beautiful than boys and men at any time. Female beauty simply attracts males. Ninety percent of males get attracted toward a female beauty passing by. This logic is more applicable in the case of active youth”. Today it rained a lot. My prayers to God. Oh God! Direct me toward a brilliant way of life. Today I spent a calm day. Went to bed by 9:00.

7 October (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. Stayed at home till 9:00. Then moved to NRPM railway station on bicycle. Tirumala Express arrived by 9:30. Reached Elamanchili by 10:00. Moved to library. Spent there till 11:00. Then went to bus stop. Spent there for sometime. Then went to type institute. Practiced speed typing from 11:30 to 1:45. Then came back to railway station. Bokaro-Alleppey Express was already on the platform. It started by 2:30. Reached home by 3:00 on bicycle. Spent rest of my time at home. Today it was cloudy and cool. Today I spent a good day. My thought follows, “God is a great power. Knowing about Him is not a simple thing. Many of His devotees and saints struggle for years to see Him”. Went to bed by 10:00.

8 October (Sunday)

Woke up by 6:00. Today it rained cats and dogs. There was no power supply in the morning. Reached the house of my paternal grandparents by 10:00 on bicycle. Went there to see the little kid of my uncle Narayana Murthy Raju. He is a bundle of joy. Returned home by 1:00. Afternoon there was a Manipuri feature film on Delhi Doordarshan. It was not good at all. So, I avoided watching it till the end. Evening the Telugu feature film on Hyderabad Doordarshan was “Gaajula Krishnayya”. It was bad. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on radio. Went to sleep by 9:00. 

9 October (Monday)

Got up by 5:00. Stayed at home till 12:00 reciting some content from my economics notes. Then moved to railway station on bicycle. Tuni-Vizag DMU passenger arrived by 1:00. Reached Elamanchili and spent loitering here and there for sometime. Moved to type institute by 2:00. Practiced speed typing for one hour. Still I am taking 20 minutes to finish typing the given text. I have to finish typing that text within the given time of 15 minutes. May God bless me that dexterity. Came back to railway station by 3:15. Tirumala Express arrived by 3:40. Reached home by 4:15. Had tiffin of chapatis. Night watched Telugu serial “Gaandharva Maalatheeyam” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Sarath Babu played the lead role in this serial. He is one of my favorite film actors. It deeply engages our emotional bond with the vicissitudes in the lives of  characters in this serial. Lakshmi is a beautiful girl with medium body. I heard that her marriage date is also fixed. May God bless her a long and happy married life. Let her get good husband and beautiful children. Went to bed by 9:00.

10 October (Tuesday)

Got up by 5:00. Stayed at home till 8:00. Then took bicycle and moved to Etikoppaka Cooperative Sugar Factory at Darlapudi to give food carrier/carriage (this is the term used by  villagers to refer to the small steel or aluminum container, with three or four dishes in it, in which rice, soup, curry, curd or buttermilk can be stored. Many agricultural laborers and workers in factories carry this utensil with them from their homes when they start to farms or work places in the morning hours. Another utensil used for this purpose is “tiffin box” in which light meal is carried by people that eat comparatively less than their colleagues) to my father who went there this morning without taking his carrier because my mother could not get it ready in time. Started back to home from the factory by 8:00 and reached home exactly at 9:00. Spent rest of the day at home. For the last four days, it has been raining heavily. It is wonderful. Today I could not go to Elamanchili for practicing speed typing due to this rain. It stops for a while and starts suddenly when we step out on an important work. Today I recited the questions and answers of my economics subject. Afternoon watched the Telugu program “Navvula Puvvulu” (the flowers of laughter) on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Also watched Hindi serials “Shanti” and “Swaabhimaan” on Delhi Doordarshan. From 5:30 to 6:30 watched Telugu cine songs in “Chitra Sourabhalu” program on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Nearly one month of college holidays have been spent just like that. I utilized very few of these holidays for my preparation to annual examinations. I spent much time on typing only. Went to bed by 9:00.

 11 October(Wednesday)

Got up by 5:00. Spent reciting questions and answers from economics subject till 12:00. Even today it was cloudy. Also heavy rain has been going on due to the influence of southwest monsoon. Streams are flowing with muddy water. Started to NRPM railway station by 12:05. Tuni-Vizag DMU passenger arrived by 1:00. Reached Elamanchili by 1:20. Went to type institute. Practiced two speed typing exercises. Even today I took 20 minutes. Moved to cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir by 2:10 and saw the English film “True Lies”. It is a good film with speedy car driving, beautiful scenery, aeroplane chasing, affectionate relationships among family members, thrilling fights with guns and so on. I found this film much entertaining. Came back to railway station by 5:00. Godavari Express arrived by 5:15. Reached home by 5:45. Night watched “Chitra Haar” on Delhi Doordarshan. Today I wrote a postcard to Visakhapatnam radio station. Went to bed by 9:00.

 12 October (Thursday)

Got up by 5:00. Stayed at home till 11:40. Then moved to NRPM station. When I was going on my bicycle, Lakshmi came to see me from a side of the way. My best wishes to her. She has an inspiring and beautiful face. I like her very much for this reason. I pray God to give me good memory power by which I can take my annual exams well in order to be eligible to receive the best wishes of this girl from distance at least. My God! Keep her delightful and good-hearted. She is a sensitive girl. May her beauty be with her till the end of her life. Oh God! Make her mine if I am suitable to her in everything in comparison to her. Let my life go on in a bright path of education. It is my desire. May Mother Saraswati bless me. My Lord Krishna! Adorn me with a refined behavior. Went to Elamanchili by Tirumala Express. Practiced speed typing from 12:30 to 2:00. Then came back to railway station. Bokaro-Alleppey Express arrived by 5:00. Reached home by 6:00. Today I spent a good day. I could see my angel. Went to bed by 9:30.

 13 October (Friday)

Got up by 5:00. Stayed at home till 12:00. Spent this time refreshing some questions and answers from economics subject which were recited previously. By 12:10 started to NRPM railway station on foot across the paddy fields. Tuni-Vizag DMU passenger arrived by 12:30. Went to type institute by 1:30. Practiced speed typing till 2:30. Today I could slightly achieve the time limit. I did not take 20 minutes to finish typing the given text. May God bless me. Reached railway station by 3:00. Tirumala Express arrived by 3:50. Reached home by 4:35. From 5:00 to 6:30 watched Telugu cine songs on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Even today the sky was full of clouds during the evening and nighttime. Today it is Panchami, an auspicious day according to Telugu calendar. I am a child of God. He gave me success in the first year Intermediate. He gave me that result for my sincere effort. I am always at His command. Today a nice day went on with His blessings. Went to bed by 9:00.

 14 October (Saturday)

Got up by 5:00. Stayed at home till 11:55. Then started to NRPM railway station. Tuni-Vizag DMU passenger arrived by 12:20. Reached Elamanchili in 20 minutes and proceeded to type institute. Sat there idly till 2:00. Then started practicing the speed papers. I noticed some improvement in time management of speed typing but there were many errors. I have to significantly bring down the number of errors occurring. Came back to railway station by 3:15. Bokaro-Alleppey Express arrived by 3:25. Reached home by 4:25. Evening refreshed the previously recited notes from economics. The heavy rain that has been going on for the last few days has affected many areas. Night watched “Ek Se Bad Kar Ek” (the program of Hindi cine songs) on Delhi Doordarshan. Went to bed by 10:00.

15 October (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. From 7:00 to 8:00 watched “Rangoli” program on Delhi Doordarshan. There was no power supply for quite sometime. Spent sometime watching the Telugu program “Vaathsalyam” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Listened to cine songs on radio from 1:00 to 2:00. Listened to Telugu play “Manchu Muthyam” on Hyderabad radio from 3:30 to 4:30. It was excellent. Evening the Telugu feature film on Hyderabad Doordarshan was “Sita Geetha Daatithe”. It was wonderful. Went to sleep by 9:00. 

16 October (Monday)

Got up by 4:40. Thinking that our junior college would be reopened today after the Dasara holidays, got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:20. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam DMU passenger arrived by 6:45. Reached Elamanchili and moved to type institute. Today I  practiced typing business letter. By 9:30 moved to college from library where I spent for some time. Muddy rainwater was flowing at the entrance of our college. Still it was drizzling. Presently tenth standard examinations are going on in our classrooms. Unofficially it was said that the college may be run from tomorrow onwards from 7:00 to 11:00 or 2:30 to 5:30. The final decision would be taken tomorrow by college authorities. Had a plain dosa at a hotel for two rupees. Again went to type institute. Practiced typing business letters till 1:10. Then came back to railway station. Kept on waiting for train. Bokaro-Alleppey Express arrived by 4:00. Reached home by 4:45. I think that nature is showing its influence and anger upon the helpless masses of the country in the form of this cyclone. Went to bed by 9:00.

17 October (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Stayed at home till 11:00. Then started to NRPM station on foot. Tuni-Vizag DMU passenger arrived by 1:00. Reached Elamanchili by 1:15. Today our junior college was reopened for us after Dasara holidays. Today I avoided going both to type institute and college. By 2:00 moved to cinema Venkateswara and saw the Telugu film “Vagala Raani”. It has a different kind of story and direction. Recently I saw many English films in cinemas. Only “True Lies” is a wonderful film. All other films showed how a man and a woman or a boy and a girl can be brutes when they entrap themselves in extreme or pervert bodily attractions and passions for one another. It was also observed that masses that come to see such English films in cinemas are more in number than those that come to see classic Telugu films like “Swathi Muthyam” or “Geetanjali”. Mostly these English films of sex nature are shown for one or two days in cinemas. Only adults, that too men, come to see these films. Indian girls or women have to yet get freedom from the social norms or considerations to see a sex based film in a cinema publicly. Basic sex instincts are the same for men and women but men are privileged to satiate their hidden fantasies of this nature in a liberal and open way. It takes about 20 years for that to happen to women. The nakedness of humanity is an evil attraction to everybody with an active mind. Since it is not available in the society, man resorts to it through other means and ways. These (sex based films in cinemas) are the only avenues to rural masses to satisfy that common human instinct in them to see the hidden or the covered. I am also one of these masses with the instinct for the unknown or unseen. Rationality or justifiability of certain actions or interests of humans often look blurry and abstract. None can perceive the beauty of virtue or the ugliness of vice while engulfed in this dichotomy of what is good and what is bad. It is enough if one’s ways of enjoyment or entertainment or the reactions that crop up from such habits do not hurt others in the society. Reached home by 6:30 by Godavari Express. Went to bed by 9:00.

 18 October (Wednesday)

Got up by 5:00. Stayed at home till 11:00. Prepared history notes for sometime. Moved to NRPM railway station by 9:15. Tirumala Express arrived by 10:00. Reached Elamanchili by 10:20. Just then it started drizzling. It continued for sometime. Moved to type institute once the drizzle stopped the play of its puzzle. Typed two business letters and some speed papers from 11:00 to 2:00. Centering the sentences is the main thing in these letters. By 2:15 moved to college. Telugu, History and Economics classes went on from 2:30 to 4:45. From tomorrow the second unit tests would be held. They end on the 21^st of this month. I can’t take these tests well because they are announced all of a sudden for any preparation to take place. Came back to  railway station by 5:00. Godavari Express arrived by 5:15. Reached home by 5:40. Even today the sky was covered by dark clouds. Spent a good day. Went to bed by 9:00.

 19 October (Thursday)

Got up by 5:00. Stayed at home till 11:30 preparing notes of Telugu to take the second unit Telugu test to be conducted this afternoon. Then put on my college uniform and moved to NRPM railway station. Tuni-Vizag DMU passenger arrived by 1:35. Reached Elamanchili by 2:00. Moved to college. Sat in the second science room with number 18. Took the English paper from 2:30 to 3:30 and the Telugu paper from 3:30 to 4:30. I did well in both the tests by the grace of God. Came back to railway station by 4:40. Godavari Express arrived by 5:15. Today it was very crowded. Today I saw four Nepalese beauties in this train. Their skin color entraps viewers. They sprayed perfume on their clothes to be liked by males around in the train. I liked their manners. The creation of God is beautiful and complex. Spent a good Lakshmi Vaaram (the Telugu version of calling a Thursday, signifying the name of the girl I like). Went to bed by 9:00.

 20 October (Friday)

Got up by 5:00. Stayed at home till 9:15. Then moved to NRPM railway station. Tirumala Express had just left the station. Then moved to the nearby bus stop on the over bridge. No bus appeared for a long time. Took a Visakhapatnam bound bus by 11:10 and reached Elamanchili by 11:50. Moved to type institute. Practiced typing official letter till 1:30. Then went to the temple of Lord Anjaneya Swamy by muddy pond and sat there for sometime. Moved to college by 2:00. Sat in the second science room with number 18. Did second unit economics and civics papers well. Went to a medical store and bought three tablets for the remedy of dysentery from which I have been suffering for the last two days. Came back to railway station by 4:30. Godavari Express  arrived by 5:30. Reached home by 6:10. Today it was hot and cool with clouds in the sky. Evening watched Telugu cine songs on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Spent a good day. Went to bed by 9:00.

21 October (Saturday)

Got up by 5:00. Stayed at home till 9:15. Then went to NRPM railway station. Tirumala Express arrived by 10:20. Reached Elamanchili by 10:45. Moved to post office and bought an envelope. Then went to type institute. Practiced three speed papers and two official letters. Went to the temple of Lord Anjaneya Swamy by 1:15. Sat there till 2:10. Then moved to our college and sat in our classroom. Did the second unit history paper. Came back to railway station by 4:00. Fortunately Tirumala Express was running late. It arrived by 4:20. Reached home by 5:05. Today my mother went to the abode of her sister Raja Kumari at Raja Venkata Nagaram. Went to bed by 10:00.

22 October (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Watched “Rangoli” program on Delhi Doordarshan from 7:15 to 8:00. Went to Adduroad and had my haircut. Returned home by 10:00. Listened to Telugu cine songs from Hyderabad radio station. Afternoon watched the Oriya feature film “Thoo Bina Mujhe Gathi Nahin” on Delhi Doordarshan. It is a very good film. Evening gave my photo negative at Gopala Krishna Photo Studio in Adduroad for print. Evening the Telugu feature film on Hyderabad Doordarshan was “Deepavali”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

 23 October (Monday)

Got up by 5:00. Freshened up myself and rested till 8:00. By 8:10 started to Adduroad on our short bicycle. Spent there till 10:30. Collected three black and white passport size photos from Gopala Krishna Photo Studio which I previously ordered for print. Returned home by 11:00. Afternoon the Telugu feature film on Hyderabad Doordarshan was “Brahmachaari Mogudu” of Rajendra Prasad and Yamuna. It is a little comedy. Today eatables were prepared at our house. Evening listened to Hindi, Tamil and Telugu cine songs on radio. Though today it is Diwali (Deepavali, an important festival of Hindus), I am unable to enjoy it. Internally I am suffering because Lakshmi marries and goes away from me soon. I don’t think that God can churn out a delightful life for me from these gloomy circumstances. It is all inscribed on my forehead by the divine hand. Nobody can change the heading of that chapter in my life. Lights can’t bring delight into my life. Today it is the festival of lights. Hindus arrange lamps in and around their abodes to celebrate this festival. I am unable to light a lamp in my heart to brighten my cursed and gloomy psyche. Today I spent at home most of the time. Deepavali disappeared like lightning on a rainy day from me. My sad farewell to this festival. Went to bed by 10:00.

 24 October (Tuesday)

Got up by 5:00. Today all the day I spent at home. Today is a special day. Today complete solar eclipse is occurring after a long time. It started by 7:30 and ended by 10:10 in the morning. This time calculation about the occurrence of this eclipse is related to our region. It is said that this wonder of the sky can be clearly seen in some Indian states like Rajasthan and Uttar Pradesh. We stayed inside the house until the eclipse was over. We stopped taking anything after the eclipse time started. Even before a few minutes to the eclipse, we should not eat any hard food. We are not supposed to eat anything until the head bath with hot water is over after the end of the eclipse. It is believed by orthodox Hindus that solar eclipse means a short death of the sun in the sky. A serpent swallows this radiant man and leaves him after a while. So, we are supposed to take bath to the entire body, which is compulsorily observed when a very close relative of our family passes away. Sun is a relative to all the living human beings on earth. So, we are bound to observe this ritual without fail with the norms in mind. I saw this eclipse clearly with a black and white photo negative in the water set in a small container before me in which the movement of the slowly-being-darkened sun in the sky could be observed. It is an interesting event altogether. The bright fellow in the sky seldom plays such these games with the humans on earth. Once this game is on, in the vast playground of the sky, silly or serious folks on earth, must watch it somehow somewhere. I Took a head bath by 11:30. Also today it is the day of the United Nations Organization. It was on 24 October 1948 that this organization was set up for achieving international peace and cooperation settling the disputes cropping up among the conflict-ridden states of the world time to time. Night watched Telugu cine songs on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Spent a bright day. Went to bed by 9:00.

 25 October (Wednesday)

Got up by 4:20. Got ready and started to NRPM railway station by 6:00. Reached the station by 6:20. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 6:23. Reached Elamanchili by 6:40. Went to type institute. Spent sometime reading the Telugu daily Eenadu. Practiced typing till 9:20. Went to college by 9:40. Today only Civics and History classes went on in the morning session. The lecturers of other subjects are on leave and so classes did not take place. Went to Uma Ice Factory by 12:10 and had some rice offered by one of my classmates. Typing practice took place from 12:40 to 2:00. Even today I practiced typing the business and official letters. Moved to cinema Sita Chitra Mandir by 2:00 and saw the English film “Love Creator”. It is a love story. Came back to railway station by 4:10. Godavari Express arrived by 5:20. Reached home by 6:00. Went to bed by 9:00.

 26 October (Thursday)

Got up by 5:00. Got ready in one hour. Reached NRPM railway station by 6:16. Godavari Express had just arrived. Took it and reached Elamanchili by 6:40. Proceeded to type institute. Spent reading the Telugu daily Eenadu till 8:10. Practiced typing till 9:20. Today I practiced typing a Government Order (G.O.) Even today I was unable to finish the speed paper within 15 minutes. May God bless me. Moved to college by 9:30. Today Civics and History classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon moved to Jaya Lakshmi Pan Shop and had two rupees of ripe bananas. Afternoon only Economics class took place. Afternoon also I spent some time practicing typing. Reached station by 3:00. Tirumala Express arrived by 3:40. Got home by 4:20. My thought follows, “There are many superstitions planted in the hearts of Indians for ages. They can’t be uprooted from them. History deals with these aspects of human beliefs and practices”. Spent a good day. Went to bed by 9:00.

 27 October (Friday)

Got up by 5:15. Today it is Naagula Chavithi. It is an auspicious day for Hindus on which sacred cow milk and fresh eggs have to be poured/dropped into anthills by devotees for the snakes waiting in them/or which may come later to have their annual feast offered by their devotees. Some other special eatables, prepared at home for snakes, have also to be offered on this occasion. Devotees should not eat or drink anything until this annual milk pouring ceremony is over. Our college principal, being a Muslim, could not understand the importance of this festival for Hindus. So, he did not declare a holiday to our college. He bothered me like this. So, I could not participate in this holy ceremony along with my family members. My parents and my brother Sambha observed this ritual in a traditional manner. They went to our mango garden by hills and poured cow milk in the anthills there. They worshipped snakes on my behalf in my absence. I reached Elamanchili by 6:40 by Godavari Express. Spent much time at railway station. Went to college by 9:30. Though very few students came, three classes went on today. It is a wonder. Reached home by 3:40 by Bokaro-Alleppey Express. My pious salutes to all the cobras. Please pardon me for not participating in your annual festival. Don’t bite me for this reason. Poor Lakshmi cries for me if you inject your poison into me. Watched “Chitra Lahari” program on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Went to bed by 10:00.

 28 October (Saturday)

Woke up by 4:30. Got ready and reached NRPM station by 6:20. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 6:25. Reached Elamanchili by 6:40. Moved to type institute. Typed three speed papers. Moved to college by 9:30. Telugu and Economics classes went on in the morning session. Today I did not have my lunch. Went to type institute by 12:00 and practiced there till 1:30. Practiced typing pro forma, business letter, official letter and government order. Afternoon History and Civics classes went on. Rushed back to railway station. Luckily Tirumala Express was on the platform. It had just started. I caught it. Reached home by 4:25. Went to bed by 9:00.

29 October (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Rangoli” and “Chandra Kaantha” programs on Delhi Doordarshan. Then went to village Darlapudi on a bicycle to see the Telugu film “Bombay” of Arvind Swami and Manisha Koirala. I found that presently this film is not being shown in this cinema. Felt disappointed and returned home. Watched “Kala Sagar Awards” program on  Hyderabad Doordarshan. Thereafter watched a Punjabi feature film on Delhi Doordarshan. It was good. Evening the Telugu feature film on Hyderabad Doordarshan was “Vichitra Prema”. It was interesting. Went to bed by 9:00.

30 October (Monday)

Woke up by 4:30. Got ready slowly and reached NRPM station by 6:30. Godavari Express had just arrived. Reached Elamanchili by 7:00. Went to the house of Satya Narayana, my brother’s army friend. He said that my brother is doing well in Ambala Cantonment. Thence moved to type institute and typed three speed papers from 7:30 to 9:00. Even today I could not finish the speed paper within 15 minutes. Went to college. Civics, Telugu and English classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon had six bananas for two rupees at Jaya Lakshmi Pan Shop. Moved to type institute and practiced statement. Today I paid my monthly typewriting learning fee of 60 rupees to the master of our type institute. Went to college by 2:00. Afternoon only History class took place. Came back to station by 3:15. Tirumala Express arrived by 3:50. Reached home by 4:30. Today it is an auspicious day of Kaartheeka Maasam because it is the first Monday of this holy Telugu month. It is a holy day for traditional Hindu girls and women. Spent a good day. Went to bed by 9:00.

 31 October (Tuesday)

Woke up by 4:30. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:20. Godavari Express arrived by 6:30. Reached Elamanchili by 7:00. Moved to type institute. Typed statements. Could not maintain accuracy and neatness in it. May God bless me. Moved to library by 9:15. Went to college by 9:50. Civics, Telugu and English classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon had six samosaas for three rupees at the stall near cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir. Then moved to type institute. Typed one statement and one speed paper. No improvement at all. It is my bad luck. Only History class took place in the afternoon session. I did not attend it. I became a bad boy these days. Moved to cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir and saw the Telugu film “Aagani Kaamam” (unending lust). It explains why and how one should be away from drugs and sex workers to avoid AIDS and the following existence on earth. Returned home by 6:00 by Godavari Express. My farewell to this jolly October. Went to bed by 8:00.

1 November (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:20. Godavari Express arrived by 6:30. Reached Elamanchili by 7:00. Spent sometime at railway station. Today it is the Formation Day of the State of Andhra Pradesh. It took its form of a new state on 1 November 1956 being separated from Madras Presidency. The credit goes to Potti Sreeramulu, who fasted for over 58 days and died on the altar of that ideal. It was felt by many Telugu people that they were not being treated well in the Madras Presidency administration. Many felt it but only Sreeramulu could take such an extreme step for this noble cause. Thus Andhra Pradesh was the first federal state formed on the basis of regional language which was later followed by other regions in India. Spent my time in library from 8:00 to 9:30. Then moved to college. Civics, Telugu and English classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon moved to Jaya Lakshmi Pan Shop and had three rupees of bananas and one rupee of lemon soda. Afternoon History and Economics classes went on. By 4:00 bought a dozen oranges for eight rupees to take home. Just then it started pouring from the cloudy sky. I completely got drenched in it. Reached home by 6:15 by Godavari Express. Went to bed by 9:00.

2 November (Thursday)

Woke up by 4:30. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:20 on bicycle. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 6:40. Reached Elamanchili by 7:10. Moved to  type institute by 7:20. Practiced from 7:30 to 8:05 and again from 9:05 to 9:40. Then moved to college. Civics and English classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon went to the hotel near cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir and had a plain dosa for two rupees. Then moved to type institute and practiced from 1:00 to 1:30. Today the typewriter allotted to me did not function well. I felt disgusted with it and went out. Went to Jaya Lakshmi Pan Shop and had two rupees of small bananas. Then moved to college. Afternoon History and Economics classes went on. Rushed back to railway station. Tirumala Express arrived by 4:00. Reached home by 4:40. Evening did some written work. The holy Kaartheeka Maasam of Telugu calendar is moving on. Today I spent a busy and hectic day. Went to bed by 9:00.

3 November (Friday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:20. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 6:30. Reached Elamanchili by 7:00. Moved to type institute. Practiced one government order and one statement. Went to library by 8:30 and spent there till 9:30. Then moved to college. Civics, Telugu and English classes went on in the morning session. Then walked to the hotel near cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir and had a plain dosa for two rupees. I had no time for practicing typing. Went back to college. Economics and History classes went on in the afternoon session. Then moved to type institute for the special class announced but it did not take place. Moved to railway station and started waiting for Godavari Express. It arrived by 5:20. Reached home by 6:00. Night did written work of history notes. These days I am becoming much busy and restless. Morning to night it is all a wheel revolving around itself with the same mundane activities. May God bless me. Went to bed by 10:00.

4 November (Saturday)

Woke up by 4:30. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:20. Godavari Express arrived by 6:30. Reached Elamanchili by 7:00. Went to type institute and typed one statement. Then moved to library. Spent there till 9:30. Then moved to college. Civics, Telugu and English classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon went to a hotel and had two plain dosas for four rupees. There was no time for typing practice. Went back to college. History and Economics classes went on in the afternoon session. Came back to railway station. Godavari Express arrived by 6:35. Reached home by 7:00. Night did some written work. Went to bed by 9:00.

5 November (Sunday)

Woke up by 6:00. Watched “Rangoli” program on Delhi Doordarshan from 7:15 to 8:00. The Hindi serial “Chandra Kaantha” followed it. Spent preparing English notes most of the rest of day. Today there was no regional feature film in the afternoon on Delhi Doordarshan. Evening the Telugu feature film on Hyderabad Doordarshan was “Shakthi”. It was good. The news of the day is the death of an Israeli Prime Minister. Afternoon my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani came from Molleru Mallavaram. Went to sleep by 9:00.

6 November (Monday)

Woke up by 4:30. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:20. Just then Godavari Express had arrived. Reached Elamanchili by 7:00. Moved to type institute. Practiced from 7:00 to 9:00. Then moved to library. There were no books to read for some reason. So, moved to college. Civics, Telugu and English classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon had rice offered by my classmate. Then moved to type institute. Today I practiced Statement, Government Order and two speed papers. Even today I could not complete the speed paper in the given time. May God bless me. Economics and History classes went on in the afternoon session. Came back to  railway station and caught Tirumala Express at 4:00. Reached home by 4:30. Evening did some written work. Today it is Kaartheeka Pournami (full moon day in the holy month of Kaartheekam in the Telugu year which is specially celebrated by Hindu girls and women worshipping God. In this month, women devotees bathe early morning in biting cold with cold water and fast on some days). Ate homemade sweets brought by my cousin Anantha Lakshmi. Went to bed by 9:00.

7 November (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:20. Godavari Express arrived by 6:40. Reached Elamanchili by 7:00. Moved to type institute. Typed two business letters. Moved to library by 8:15. Spent there till 9:30. Then moved to college. History, Telugu and Civics classes went on in the morning session. There were no classes in the afternoon. Moved to type institute and typed two business letters. This is a holy month in the Telugu year. Everybody should lead a pious life in this month. But, today, I saw the English film “Women’s Pleasure”. It is a film dealing with the sexual pleasures of women. Reached railway station by 5:00. Godavari Express arrived by 5:15. Got home by 6:00. Night did some written work. My thought follows, “College life can be remembered as a golden period of life if it is spent in a great way with refined manners and progressive attitude. Everybody must spend this age carefully”. May God bless me. Went to bed by 9:00.

8 November (Wednesday)

Woke up by 4:30. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:20. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 7:00. Reached Elamanchili by 7:20. Moved to type institute. Typed one business letter. Then moved to library. Spent there till 9:30. Then went to college. Telugu, Civics and English classes went on in the morning session. There were no classes in the afternoon. Came back to station and knew that Bokaro-Alleppey Express was running three hours late. Could not decide what to do for sometime. Then moved to cinema Parameswari (this is near  railway station) and saw the Telugu film “Aayanaki Iddharu” (he has two wives). It is a good film. Actress Ooha acted well. It was shown till 5:40. So, I missed Godavari Express. Bokaro-Alleppey Express arrived by 7:07, about seven hours late. Took it and reached home by 7:30. May God bless and direct me toward a glorious path of life. May Mother Saraswati bless me. Went to bed by 9:00.

9 November (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:23. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger had just left the station. Vijayawada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 7:15. Reached Elamanchili by 7:35. I had no time to go to type institute. Went to the house of Satya Narayana, the military friend of my brother Srinivas, who is going to Ambala Cantonment soon, and gave a parcel to him, to be given to my brother. Moved to college by 8:15. Morning only Economics class went on. Other lecturers are on leave. Moved to cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir and saw the English film “Private Lessons”. It portrays the character of a teenage boy who gets fascinated by a woman of beauty and solitude and engulfed in passion and deep attachment with her. Then went to type institute and typed two letters and two speed papers. Reached railway station by 3:15. Tirumala Express arrived by 3:40. Reached home by 4:20. Winter is going on. Went to bed by 9:00.

10 November (Friday)

Woke up by 4:30. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:20. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 6:25. Reached Elamanchili by 6:45. Went to type institute and typed one government order and one business letter. Went to college by 8:15. Civics and Economics classes went on in the morning session. By 11:30 received Money Order, 100 rupees, from my brother Srinivas at Ambala Cantonment. He sent it for my pocket money. It is good for me. Went to type institute by 11:45 and typed two speed papers. Even today I could not find improvement in my typing speed. Went to college by 1:20. Afternoon Telugu class took place. Came back to railway station. Bokaro-Alleppey Express arrived by 3:35. Got home by 4:20. Did some written work from 5:00 to 6:30. Night also did the same for sometime. Spent a good day. Went to bed by 9:00.

11 November (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. Today it is the second Saturday of the month and so a holiday to our college. Morning my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani, my cousin Anantha Lakshmi (daughter of my maternal aunt Satyavati) and my mother went to the house of my uncle Rama Raju at Raja Venkata Nagaram. They started here by 9:40 and returned home by 4:20. Today I spent all my time at home collecting meanings for difficult words of the lesson “War against the death” from my Active Study Dictionary of Orient Longman Limited. Wrote them in my notebook. I did it from 7:00 to 4:30. Afternoon rested for half an hour and listened to two Telugu cine songs on radio. Night watched television for sometime. Went to bed by 9:00.

12 November (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Spent all the day at home. Most of the time spent listening to cine songs on radio. I felt depressed because there was no interaction with anybody throughout the day. Prayed God to save me. From 3:00 to 4:00 listened to Telugu play “Noor Jahan” from Hyderabad radio station. It was fantastic. Lakshmi is a sensitive girl. I like that quality in her. Went to sleep by 9:00.

 13 November (Monday)

Woke up by 4:30. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:20. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 6:22. Reached Elamanchili and moved to type institute. Typed one official letter and one speed paper from 7:00 to 8:00. By 8:30 moved to the temple of Lord Anjaneya Swamy and prepared objective type questions and answers from history for sometime. Civics, Telugu and English classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon had some rice offered by my classmate and moved to type institute. Typed one application and one speed paper. Afternoon Economics and History classes went on. Returned to railway station by 4:00. Tirumala Express arrived by 4:05. Reached home by 4:45. Today it is the third Monday of the holy Kaartheeka Maasam (a Telugu month). Today many of my classmates went to our nearby tourist spot Panchadarla (this is a holy place of Lord Shiva. I heard that sweet water flows here from inside a hill in five small streams on every day of the year. I never went to this place out of negligence toward accessible holy places. I regret my devout attention to my classes and films which often make me miss the pious things in the surroundings. Simpletons and sinners like me regret in retrospect. Common people of the world mostly use their time for seeing sacred spots in their reach. I have been an abnormal bloke pursuing undesirable things in my carefree days of youth). Very few students remained in the classroom. Also it was very hot today. So, many stayed back at homes. Went to bed by 9:00.

 14 November (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:20. Godavari Express arrived by 7:00. Reached Elamanchili by 7:20. Moved to type institute and typed one statement only. Then moved to college. Did the written work of assignment of civics. Civics, Telugu and English classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon moved to the hotel near cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir and had one onion dosa for three rupees. Avoided going to type institute for practice and went to college. Explained some English questions and answers to my classmate from the Tonic Writers’ Intermediate Guide. Afternoon Economics and History classes went on. Went to type institute thinking that a special class would be taken but it did not take place. Reached railway station by 4:30. Godavari Express arrived by 5:10 and started by 5:15. Reached home by 5:50. Today it is the 126^th birth anniversary of Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru. Children’s Day was celebrated in India. Spent a good day. Went to bed by 9:15.

 15 November (Wednesday)

Woke up by 4:30. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:20. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived as I stepped on the platform. Reached type institute by 7:00 and typed two statements till 8:00. Then moved to library. Spent there till 9:30 reading Telugu film weeklies. Thereafter moved to college. Civics, Telugu and English classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon went to Jaya Lakshmi Pan Shop and had two rupees of small bananas and one rupee of lemon soda. Then moved to type institute and typed two statements. Went back to college by 1:30. Economics and History classes took place from 2:00 to 3:40. Came back to type institute. A special class was taken in which different formats of letters were explained. Typing methods and some rules and regulations of similar nature were also discussed. Our master took this class to prepare us for the ensuing Lower Grade Typewriting Examination. Returned home by 6:00 by Godavari Express. Went to bed by 9:00.

16 November (Thursday)

Woke up by 4:30. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:20. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 7:00. Reached Elamanchili by 7:20 and proceeded to type institute. Typed two statements. Then went to library and spent there till 9:30. Then moved to college. Civics, Telugu and English classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon had eight small bananas for two rupees. Then moved to type institute. Typed one debit note. I typed this for the first time. So, many errors occurred. By 1:30 moved to college. Economics and History classes went on. Today our History Lecturer I Mallikarjuna Rao took my first year Intermediate history notebook. Started to railway station by 3:40. Tirumala Express had already left the station. Had six rupees of tiffin at the hotel by station road. Godavari Express arrived by 5:10. Reached home by 5:40. Went to bed by 9:00.

 17 November (Friday)

Woke up by 4:40. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:20. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 6:30. Reached type institute by 7:10. Today our master conducted a test. I could not do it well because still I am unaware of some letters. Every Friday is a holiday to  public library. Had two plain dosas for five rupees at a hotel opposite our college. Civics, Telugu and English classes went on in the morning session. There were no classes in the afternoon. Had some rice offered by my classmates. Then moved to type institute and typed one debit note and one speed paper. Thereafter saw the Telugu film “Rathi Rahasyam” (secret of human sex). Reached home by 5:40 by Godavari Express. Today my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani went to Molleru Mallavaram. Went to bed by 9:00.

 18 November (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached Narsipatnam Road railway station by 6:20. Vijayawada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 6:25. Moved to type institute by 6:50. Typed one debit note and one credit note from 7:00 to 8:00. Then moved to library. Read Telugu film weeklies like Andhra Prabha, Andhra Jyothi and Andhra Bhoomi. Acquired some knowledge about a few things. Went to college by 9:30. Economics and English classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon avoided having lunch. Went to type institute and typed one debit note and one credit note. The purpose in taking the tests of the institute is to avoid errors in typing letters and remembering the letter formats. Afternoon only History class took place. Reached home by 4:20 by Tirumala Express. Went to bed by 9:00.

19 November (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning could not watch “Rangoli” program on Delhi Doordarshan. Watched the Hindi serial “Chandra Kaantha”. Power cut followed it. Could not watch other programs due to this. Today it is the birth anniversary of Indira Gandhi. Evening the Telugu feature film on Hyderabad Doordarshan was “Aathma Balam”. It was very good. Today I spent most of my time writing notes. God is kind. I pray Him to guide me well. Went to sleep by 9:00.

 20 November (Monday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:20. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 7:00. Reached type institute by 7:30. Typed one debit note, one business letter, one memorandum, one statement and one speed paper till 9:20. Then moved to college.  Civics, Telugu and English classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon had some rice offered by my classmates. Afternoon typed one speed paper and one statement. Economics and History classes went on in the afternoon session. Came back to railway station. A miracle took place. “I took the bogie (the last one) of the guard of a goods train to reach home early. Today Godavari Express was late and so this adventure by me. The goods train was running at about 20 kilometers of speed per hour at NRPM railway station where I had to detrain. It did not stop at this station. I was unable to somehow get off it in that slow motion also. It looks easy even to premature practitioners of such adventures. I failed in this test. At last it stopped one kilometer before Tuni railway station to give way to some other train coming behind. There I got off it. There was light darkness around. I started walking toward Tuni railway station. I was crossing the over bridge above the river near railway station. The bridge was covered by darkness. The iron fittings of the bridge between tracks were not done well. There were gaps in between. Committing even a small mistake while walking on those rails makes me slip into the sand below which proves fatal to me. I may slip at any time. Visualizing the tragic eventuality made my heart throb. I somehow crossed this bridge by the grace of God. Just when I left the bridge, an  Express train entered the bridge making typical sounds. Had I delayed a minute in crossing the bridge, my helpless and crushed dead body would have been pasted to the railway track in the bridge”. My body shivers to recollect this incident in which my soul got a second chance to shine for some more years. Alleppey-Bokaro Express arrived at Tuni by 9:25. Reached home by 10:15. Spent a dreadful day. Went to bed by 11:00.

 21 November (Tuesday)

Got up by 5:00. No need to hurry because today I have to go to college by 2:30 for taking the third unit tests. Prepared Telugu and economics till 11:20. Had my lunch and reached NRPM railway station by 11:50. Tuni-Vizag DMU passenger arrived by 1:10. Went to college. English and Telugu unit tests took place from 2:30 to 4:30. I did well in English but not in Telugu. I forgot some verses of Molla’s (a woman poet in the early Telugu literature who wrote the Ramayana in Telugu in her version) poetry. I could not recollect them. I saw it as a symptom of my weakness in education. It never happened like that. It is a caution from God to alert me about my education. Anyhow nowadays the minds of 80% of young students are filled with evil thoughts due to these English films and such other distractions. I am also a victim of this trend. It is difficult to recollect good things stored in brain at crucial times when the body is living in bad conditions associated with the contemporary evil attractions. I am an ordinary man. I can enjoy success but can’t withstand failure. I pray God to guide me toward virtue from vice to keep my soul away from the space of sinners once it departs from this soil. Went to bed by 9:00.

 22 November (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready and went nowhere. Prepared civics and economics staying at home. Had my lunch by 11:30 and went to railway station. Tuni-Vizag DMU passenger arrived by 1:00. Reached Elamanchili by 1:30. Refreshed my preparation for sometime sitting at the temple of Lord Hanuman. Economics test went on from 2:30 to 3:30. The civics unit test was scheduled to be held from 3:30 to 4:30 but I gave the paper before 4:00. Then went to the cloth store Suresh Silks by main road and bought one lower underwear to me for 15 rupees. Came back to railway station by 5:00. Godavari Express arrived by 5:20. Reached home by 5:50. Today diarrhoea attacked me and so became a bit weak. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on radio. My thought follows, “Man is a pile of aspirations. He desires everything to happen to be in favor of him. If they go against his wishes, he becomes depressed and vulnerable”. Went to bed by 9:00.

 23 November (Thursday)

Got up by 5:00. Stayed at home till 11:00. Prepared history for sometime. Even today I am looking weak due to the effect of diarrhoea. Reached NRPM station by 12:20. Tuni-Vizag DMU passenger arrived by 1:20. Reached college by 1:40. Prepared for the unit test till 2:30. History test took place from 2:30 to 3:30. Reached railway station by 3:40. Tirumala Express had just arrived. Reached home by 4:15. My thought follows, “It is a simple life up to 18 or 20. Then one knows about the relation between a man and a woman. Boy and girl and man and woman are always attractive to one another. They like to spend together. Many like to receive special attention from the members of opposite sex for some known or unknown reasons. They call it infatuation. I call it instinct. It disappears along with one’s death only”. Went to bed by 9:00.

 24 November (Friday)

Woke up by 4:30. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:30. Godavari Express arrived by 7:00. Reached type institute by 7:30. Typed one speed paper and two statements. Reached college by 9:00. Civics, Telugu and English classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon had some rice offered by my classmates at Uma Ice Factory. Afternoon avoided going to type institute. Went to college and explained a few English essays to my classmates. Afternoon Economics and History classes went on. Rushed back to railway station. Luckily Tirumala Express arrived by 4:00. Reached home by 4:40. Evening watched Telugu cine songs in “Chitra Lahari” program on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Night did some written work. Today it was cool. The sky was full of clouds. It was announced that depression is situated over the Bay of Bengal, about 350 kilometers from the coast of Visakhapatnam. Went to bed by 9:00.

 25 November (Saturday)

Woke up by 4:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:30. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 7:40. Went to type institute and typed two speed papers till 9:00. Today I took 20 minutes to finish typing the speed paper. It is a sign of decline in my typing speed. Moved to college by 9:15. Civics, Telugu and English classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon had some rice offered by my classmates. Afternoon avoided going to type institute. Economics and History classes went on in the afternoon session. Rushed back to railway station after the fifth period. Tirumala Express arrived by 4:10. Reached home by 4:50. Night did some written work. Watched television for sometime. Went to bed by 10:00.

26 November (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Rangoli” program on Delhi Doordarshan. By 10:00 started to the house of my uncle Rama Raju at Raja Venkata Nagaram. Had coconut water there. Spent happily talking with my cousins Vasu and Naren. Started back by 1:30 and reached home by 2:00. It was sunny today. I felt tired by the time I reached home riding bicycle. Evening the Telugu feature film on Hyderabad Doordarshan was “Nireekshana”. It was fabulous. I could not watch it till the end due to power cut. Went to sleep by 8:00.

 27 November (Monday)

Woke up by 5:25. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:20. Godavari Express arrived by 7:00. Reached type institute by 7:20. Today a typing test was conducted in our institute. I did well in it by the grace of Lord Gopal. Moved to college by 9:00. Civics, Telugu and English classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon went to the hotel near cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir and had one plain dosa for two rupees. Afternoon did not go to type institute. Moved to college. My eyes turned weak. So, laid my head down on a desk in our classroom for a while to heal them. This is because I am not eating enough quality food during afternoons on my college working days. This is the age at which I should eat good food to grow up well physically. Contrary to this, I am avoiding my lunch or having small eatables on all the college working days. I don’t like bringing food from home. They don’t give me money to eat food in hotels. It costs much for them to daily pay for my lunch. Economics and History classes went on in the afternoon session. Rushed back to railway station. Tirumala Express had already left the station. Spent standing at the bookstall in the railway station which I never saw with customers. I see the same books always. The vendor spends there with emotionless and stoic appearance. This is a reality often one fails or dislikes to understand or witness. Reached home by 6:00 by Godavari Express. Went to bed by 9:00.

 28 November (Tuesday)

Woke up by 4:40. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:20. Godavari Express arrived by 6:50. Reached type institute by 7:15. Typed one professional letter, one memorandum, one statement and one speed paper. Today I could finish typing the speed paper in 18 minutes. Still I have to improve. Moved to college by 9:30. Today an agitation was undertaken in our college by the students against the two shift system. All the students came out from their classrooms and shouted “Principal Down Down”. “Students’ justifiable demands must be resolved”. The boys and the girls sat on the main road opposite our junior college. Traffic was blocked. P Chalapathi Rao, the present M.L.A. of Elamanchili constituency, and the President of the Elamanchili Graama Panchayat (village council of administration) came to the agitation spot. Talks took place between the two parties somewhere. It was all over by 2:00 which was started around 10:00. I took this occasion for my benefit. Moved to cinema Sita Chitra Mandir and saw the English film “Secret of Married Life”. Time and tide wait for none. It is true even in the case of English films being shown at cinemas in villages. It was a good film. Reached home by 6:00 by Godavari Express. Went to bed by 9:00.

 29 November (Wednesday)

Woke up by 4:50. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:20. Godavari Express arrived by 7:00. Reached type institute by 7:30. Typed one speed paper, one statement and one business letter. Moved to library by 9:00. From there proceeded to college by 9:50. Civics and Telugu classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon had some rice offered by my classmates at Uma Ice Factory. Then moved to type institute. Typed one speed paper. Even today I took 18 minutes to finish typing the speed paper. More effort must be there from me. God decides result. Went to college by 1:00. Afternoon Economics and History classes went on. Came back to railway station. Tirumala Express arrived by 4:05. Reached home by 4:40. Evening and night did the written work of notes. Power supply was off by 8:30 from the substation at village Koruprolu. Night it was cool. The winds of winter are gradually spreading on. Went to bed by 9:00.

 30 November (Thursday)

Woke up by 4:30. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:20. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 6:50. Reached type institute by 7:15. Typed one dummy official letter and three speed papers. Even today I took 18 minutes to finish the speed paper. May God give me dexterity. Reached college by 9:00. Civics, Telugu and English classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon had some rice offered by my classmates at Uma Ice Factory. Afternoon avoided going to type institute. I am sad to know that I can’t complete the speed paper in time. Afternoon Economics and History classes went on. Rushed back to railway station thinking that Tirumala Express can be caught but it had left the station at its scheduled departure time. Kept waiting for the next train. Godavari Express arrived by 5:10. Reached home by 5:50. Night did some written work. Spent a happy month. Went to bed by 9:00.

1 December (Friday)

My prayers to Lord Krishna to direct me in a decent way of life. My prayers to Mother Saraswati to give me memory power to enable me to get good marks in the examinations. My prayers to Lord Ganapathi to direct me toward victory. My prayers to all my lecturers to bless me. This is the last month of this English year. Let it move safely with the blessings of gods and the best wishes of my well-wishers. Morning took Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger and reached Elamanchili. Practiced typing from 7:30 to 9:10. Then moved to college. Civics, Telugu and English classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon had two guavas. Economics and History classes went on in the afternoon session. Came back to railway station. Godavari Express arrived by 5:20. Reached home by 6:00. Went to bed by 9:00.

 2 December (Saturday)

Got up by 3:00. Did written work of notes for sometime. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:20. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 6:30. Reached type institute by 7:30. Today a test was conducted at our institute. Did well in it. Moved to college by 9:30. Civics and Telugu classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon had two guavas. Economics and History classes went on in the afternoon session. Rushed back to railway station.  Godavari Express arrived by 5:15. Reached home by 6:00. Today I heard odd news in Elamanchili. A second year Intermediate male student was beaten up with the footwear of a woman when he irritated her doing an indecent act (testing her patience). Night power was cut off from the substation. I could not do my college work for this reason. Listened to cine songs of various languages on radio till 9:00. Went to sleep by 9:20.

3 December (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning could not watch “Rangoli” program and Hindi serial “Chandra Kaantha” on Delhi Doordarshan. Spent most of my time preparing notes. Today our buffalo delivered by 11:05. Its star is Revathi. May God bless it. By 1:30 started to Adduroad on bicycle to buy vegetables in the weekly market. Returned home by 4:00. Evening the Telugu feature film on Hyderabad Doordarshan was “Raamudu Kaadhu Krishnudu”. It was good. Went to sleep by 9:00.

4 December (Monday)

Got up by 4:00. Ironed my college uniform. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:20. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 6:50. Reached type institute by 7:15. Typed four speed papers. Today I could type it within 15 minutes but there were many errors. May God bless me. Moved to college. Today our classroom was changed. History, Telugu and English classes went on in the morning session. By 12:00 went to Jaya Lakshmi Pan Shop and had one dozen small, ripe and tasty bananas. Also had water. Spent much time at bus stop. Moved to  college by 1:40. Afternoon only Economics class took place. Today it was announced that hereafter the college working hours would be from 11:00 to 4:00. Came back to railway station by 3:00. Tirumala Express arrived by 3:50. Reached home by 4:30. Today I ate cheese made with our buffalo milk. Went to bed by 9:00.

5 December (Tuesday)

Got up by 5:00. Did some written work related to English till 8:30. Then got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 9:20. Tirumala Express arrived by 9:30. Reached type institute by 10:05. Finished typing the speed paper within 15 minutes. May be it is an achievement of God. Also typed one credit note. Moved to college by 11:00. English, History and Economics classes went on in the morning session. Reached railway station by 3:00. Tirumala Express arrived by 4:30. Reached home by 5:25. It rained from 6:15 for sometime by the blessings of Lord Anjaneya Swamy, who is God of today (Lord Anjaneya Swamy is worshipped on Tuesdays by His devotees) and immortal. Evening watched Telugu cine songs in “Chitra Sourabhalu” program on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Night did some written work. Nature functions as per the commands of gods. Nothing happens beyond the knowledge of God. I am not above this universal phenomenon. There may be many thoughts and plans in me but they get moulded according to His plan for me. Went to bed by 9:00.

6 December (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Today our college observes a holiday because all the lecturers are on leave. But I went to Elamanchili for practicing typing. Typed three speed papers, one credit note, one statement, one business letter and one government memorandum from 7:00 to 10:00. Then moved to library. Spent reading some Telugu film weeklies till 11:00. Then moved to cinema Sita Chitra Mandir and saw the English film “Howling II”. It is a combination of terror and eroticism. Reached railway station by 1:00. Bokaro-Alleppey Express arrived by 4:00. Reached home by 4:30. Today my maternal grandfather Subba Raju came to our house from Raja Venkata Nagaram who came there last week. Today I wasted much time. I regret it. I was spoilt recently by my misguided deeds. I don’t think the situation is that severe as of now. I will be fine by the grace of God. Lakshmi is my sweetheart. What can I write about her? I think she stands for goodness of individuality and purity of admiration for me. This is my imagination only. God only knows the truth. Let that God only direct me. Went to bed by 9:00.

7 December (Thursday)

Got up by 5:00. Did the written work of history notes till 9:00. Then had my breakfast and started to NRPM railway station. Tirumala Express had left the station at its scheduled time. So, I missed it. Went to Adduroad on the bicycle of a familiar railway employee. Thence took an Anakapalle bound bus. The fare is three and half a rupees to Elamanchili. Reached college by 11:00. Today only Economics class took place in the first period and our attendance was taken. All the other lecturers are on leave. Since this is the last month of this calendar year, they are utilizing their paid leaves without fail. It is good for them and bad to us. Reached railway station by 12:10. Bokaro-Alleppey Express arrived by 1:15. Reached home by 2:00. Did some written work. Went to Adduroad by 4:00 on bicycle and had my haircut. Night also did some written work. Went to bed by 9:00.

8 December (Friday)

Got up by 5:00. Did not get ready soon because our college does not start from 10:00. Did some written work. Then dressed up myself and started to NRPM railway station. Tirumala Express arrived by 9:40. Reached college by 11:00. Today only Civics and English classes went on. Came back to railway station by 12:40. Bokaro-Alleppey Express had already left the station. Spent sitting on the cement benches in the station from 1:00 to 3:30. Tirumala Express arrived by 3:50. Reached home by 4:40. Watched Telugu cine songs on Hyderabad Doordarshan from 5:00 to 6:30. I am not going to type institute for the last four days. May be it affects me in some way. I have been traveling by train without season ticket for the last few days. May God bless prosperous life to my dear Lakshmi. Went to bed by 9:00.

9 December (Saturday)

Got up by 5:00. Today it is the second Saturday of the month and so a holiday to our college. Today Pulse Polio program is going on in Andhra Pradesh. This is meant for children below the age of five years and aims at the eradication of this health disorder from this nation. Started to Raja Venkata Nagaram by 6:30 on our short bicycle. En route I went to Gopala Krishna Photo Studio at Adduroad. I spent my time at the house of my uncle Rama Raju till 9:45. Started back to home on bicycle along with my cousins Vasu and Naren. Waited at the photo studio from 10:30 to 12:00. Then collected my four black and white passport size photos which were taken on the 7^th of this month at 5:15. They came well. Reached home by 1:00. Today my cousins Vasu and Naren spent at our house. Went to bed by 9:00.

10 December (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Rangoli” program on Delhi Doordarshan. Hindi serial “Chandra Kaantha” followed it. Listened to Telugu cine songs on Hyderabad radio from 11:00 to 12:00. Owing to power cut, afternoon could not watch the Telugu feature film “Chilakamma Cheppindhi” on Delhi Doordarshan. Evening the Telugu feature film on Hyderabad Doordarshan was “Aditya 369” of Bala Krishna and Mohini. It was very interesting. My salutes to Lord Krishna. Went to sleep by 8:30.

11 December (Monday)

Got up by 5:00. Prepared English notes till 9:00. Then got ready and reached NRPM station. Tirumala Express arrived by 10:00. Reached Elamanchili by 10:40. Today also I did not go to  type institute. By 11:10 moved to cinema Sita Chitra Mandir and saw the Telugu film “Looking Eyes”. A teenage girl, the main character of this film, gets much disturbed psychologically by the open sexual behavior of her relatives. The dormant sexual instincts in her force her to search for a way to satiate her internal longing of similar nature. She struggles in herself for a few days and ends up with unethical relationships with others barring any thought or fear about the eventualities. The film advises the girls and their relatives of the present to be careful in these moral and familial issues of domestic front. It is actually meant for teenage girls. The pity is it is the boys like me that see such these films. I think there is comedy in this issue of ‘lessons to others’ where there are no targeted beneficiaries at all in the classroom of cinema. Today I did the half-yearly English examination well. Returned home by 6:00 by Godavari Express. Went to bed by 9:00.

12 December (Tuesday)

Got up by 5:00. Stayed at home till 9:00. Then started to NRPM railway station. Tirumala Express arrived by 9:18. But it started by 9:50 due to track repairing work ahead. Reached type institute by 10:15. Today I practiced one speed paper only. Then moved to college. The first year Intermediate half-yearly examinations were going on in all the classrooms. There was no place to sit anywhere. My friend and I went out and loitered here and there for sometime. Again went back to college. Today my mind was much disturbed. It was sad and tense. I did not prepare well for the Telugu exam, the syllabus of which is too large to finish. So, today I did not go to college to take this examination. Instead I went to see the same film (which I saw yesterday) for the second time. What can I do beyond the orders of Lord Krishna! He is my director. Let Him direct me as He likes. My duty is to silently follow His instructions. Reached home by 6:00 by Godavari Express. Today I felt worried thinking about my behavior these days. None can redo one’s destiny. My prayers to Lord Krishna. Went to bed by 9:00.

 13 December (Wednesday)

Got up by 5:00. Stayed at home till 11:30. Today I wrote a letter in Telugu to send to Lakshmi (my girl of admiration) to their house address. Started to NRPM station by 11:50. Alleppey-Bokaro Express arrived by 1:00. Reached college by 1:30. Today it was economics paper. I did not prepare well. Took it for formality sake. Today I bought one dozen oranges and brought home. I think recently I changed a lot. I am not concentrating on my studies. The main reason for this may be my continuous thinking about something else, perhaps about Lakshmi, who goes away from my world of admiration soon. May God bring me back to my bright path of education. My thought follows, “Compassion for other vulnerable or ignorant creatures is an ideal to be practiced by humanity. Everything can be loved if this virtue lies in one’s heart. But, in the present society, it is being considered as a demerit of one’s personality. If one does not retaliate against the misconduct of a bloke, one is being considered incompetent. The concept of the reformation of evil through compassion is looking like a matter of waste of time to the present society. Lord Buddha stood for this ideal in his latter life. If every human being can practice this ideal, there won’t be chaos and unrest among people in this world. It must be a world of mutual love and sacrifice for one another. Let God create such delightful world. I pray Him for it”. Reached home by 5:50 by Godavari Express. Went to bed by 9:00.

 14 December (Thursday)

Got up by 5:00. Stayed at home till 11:00. Then started to NRPM railway station. Tuni-Vizag DMU passenger arrived by 1:30. Reached Elamanchili by 2:00. Today it was civics paper. I did not take it. I am a student. I should concentrate on my studies. I generally go in a perfect path. I went astray these days. May Lord Krishna give me a good life. May Mother Saraswati bless me with knowledge. May Goddess Lakshmi give me financial strength. Let my life be guided by these divine beings. The desires of common human beings like me reach the sky. However, their fulfillment lies in one’s destiny and God’s blessings. Today I saw the Telugu film “Rakshana” in cinema Sita Chitra Mandir. Returned home by 6:00 by Godavari Express. Went to bed by 9:00.

 15 December (Friday)

Got up by 5:00. Today it is a holiday to our college. But I have to go to type institute. Started to NRPM railway station by 6:05. Godavari Express arrived by 6:30. Reached type institute by 7:10. Typed two speed papers and two invoices. The date of the Lower Grade Typewriting Examination is fast approaching. But all that spread in my heart is fear. I know that nothing happens beyond that great reality ‘fate’. But I am also an ordinary human being in whose mind both pleasures and sorrows reside side by side. Let God understand it and direct me accordingly. Returned home by 10:40 by Simhadri Express. Started to Adduroad by 11:00 on bicycle along with my maternal grandfather Subba Raju. He wants to spend at the house of my uncle Rama Raju at Raja Venkata Nagaram for some days. Came back to home by 12:25. Spent rest of the day at home. Rested on bed for sometime. Evening watched Telugu cine songs on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Today a fine day went on. Let my life be dedicated to and directed by Lord Krishna. Went to bed by 9:00.

16 December (Saturday)

Got up by 5:00. Stayed at home till 11:30. Then started to NRPM station. Tuni-Vizag DMU passenger arrived by 1:15. Reached college by 2:00. History examination took place from 2:10 to 4:10. I did well in this paper though my preparation was bad. May God bless me. Reached  railway station by 4:20. Godavari Express arrived by 5:20. Reached home by 5:50. Today I brought five rupees of bananas to home. Half-yearly examinations are over by today. I did not pay much attention to these examinations due to distress caused by some factors affecting my life. Let it be removed off my mind soon by the blessings of my Lord Krishna. Oh my God! Please save me. Please put me in the right way. This is my request to You. Went to bed by 9:00.

17 December (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Reached Elamanchili by 7:30 by Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger. Practiced typing at type institute for sometime. By 10:00 he conducted a test. Thereafter saw the English film “Top Secrets”. Had my breakfast at a roadside hotel after seeing this film. Spent much time at railway station. Took Tirumala Express and reached home by 4:00. Evening the Telugu feature film on Hyderabad Doordarshan was “Sumangali”. I could not watch it completely due to power cut. Went to sleep by 9:00.

 18 December (Monday)

Got up by 5:00. Stayed at home till 9:00. Then went to NRPM railway station and waited for the train. Tirumala Express arrived by 10:00. Reached Elamanchili by 10:20. Moved to college. Only Civics class took place in the morning session. Came back to railway station. Bokaro-Alleppey Express arrived by 1:00. Reached home by 1:40. Had my lunch. Took a siesta for sometime. Evening knew that photos are being taken at our Village Panchayat Office for the issuance of photo identity cards for the purpose of voting in the forthcoming elections. When I went there, power went off. Photos could not be taken. Returned home. Had my supper and listened to Telugu cine songs on radio from 7:15 to 8:45. My thought follows, “We can’t give accurate and comprehensive definition to the word ‘world’. It is a mixture of goodness and badness, beauty and ugliness, happiness and sorrow. Only God knows its internal content and the work of creating and managing it. Let it be left to His exclusive jurisdiction”. Went to bed by 9:00.

 19 December (Tuesday)

Got up by 5:00. Started to NRPM railway station by 9:00. Tirumala Express arrived by 9:30. Reached Elamanchili by 10:00. Moved to college. Sat in our classroom by 10:30. Civics, English and History classes went on in the morning session. Reached type institute by 1:00. Typed one speed paper, one credit note and one statement. Started to railway station by 2:10. Tirumala Express arrived by 3:40. Reached home by 4:15. Listened to cine songs on radio from 5:00 to 5:30. Watched cine songs on Doordarshan from 5:30 to 6:30. Night did some written work. My thought follows, “I wonder to know that God is the almighty and a mysterious one. He knows well how to deal with His creatures. He can please them. He can tease them. He shows time to time how little the man is before His cosmic wonders and universal presence. Ordinary living creatures can’t survive if that kind and powerful God gets angry with them. Let Him save them from distress and disasters”. Went to bed by 9:00.

 20 December (Wednesday)

Got up by 5:00. Stayed at home till 9:00. Then started to NRPM railway station. Tirumala Express arrived by 9:30. Reached Elamanchili by 10:00. Moved to type institute. Typed two speed papers. Then went to college. Civics, Telugu and History classes went on in the morning session. This is the last month of this calendar year. So, the lecturers are not coming to the classes regularly. Came back to railway station by 1:40. Bokaro-Alleppey Express arrived by 3:00. Reached home by 3:30. Night did some written work. Oh my God! I am praying You with tears in my eyes. Please rectify me. These days I went astray. This society respects me if I have considerable fluency in English. In the first year Intermediate I could get good marks in English. I am grateful to You for that. That day You saved me from the verge of death when the fatal auto rickshaw accident took place. You saved me from that fatal incident on the over bridge near Tuni railway station. You are saving me time to time from disastrous events in my vulnerable life. Please help me in these forthcoming typewriting and second year Intermediate examinations also. Otherwise depression hits me. Went to bed by 9:00.

 21 December (Thursday)

Got up by 5:00. Stayed at home till 9:00. Then started to NRPM railway station. Tirumala Express  arrived by 10:30. Reached college by 11:00. Civics, Telugu and English classes went on in the morning session. By 1:45 we (college friends) moved to cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir and saw the Telugu film “Sathee Leelavathi”. It is a good film. It advises that one, who is married to one, must never have love affair with another one. The hero develops admiration for and attachment with his colleague in the office, who  is younger, prettier and educated than his wife at home. He takes her to Bangalore to enjoy with her in privacy. He is deeply attracted to her physical beauty. All this drama is to spend with her privately beyond the knowledge of his wife. But he can’t succeed in this endeavor. His close friend plays a comic and villainous role. Thus his dream gets disturbed. Soon his love affair with his beautiful colleague comes to the notice of his possessive wife. She is terribly upset by it. She creates a tragic scene. His family life gets disturbed by this chaos. Then the story takes a turn. Kamal Hassan, who played the role of his close friend, helps in resolving their dispute. Eventually his colleague marries her lover. The story runs in a comic vein. I was touched by the pitiable role of the beautiful girl (actress Heera). The ambitions of her role looked justifiable to me. Her background was pathetic. Went to bed by 11:00.

 22 December (Friday)

Got up by 5:00. Stayed at home till 9:00. Then started to NRPM railway station. Tirumala Express arrived by 10:30. Reached college by 11:00. Civics, History and English classes went on in the morning session. Then went to type institute. Spent there studying the formats of debit note, credit note, invoice, sales account, business letter, official letter, professional letter, application, memorandum, Government Order, dummy official letter and statement. Also typed two speed papers from 1:45 to 3:15. Today I could type the given text within 15 minutes. I have to still improve a lot. May God bless me. The Lower Grade Typewriting Examination is scheduled to be held on the 28^th of this month. My registered number is 127742. Came back to railway station by 3:40. Reached home by 4:30 by Tirumala Express. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on radio for sometime. Went to bed by 11:00.

 23 December (Saturday)

Got up by 5:00. Stayed at home till 9:00. Then started to NRPM railway station. Tirumala Express arrived by 10:00. Reached college by 10:30. Today I gave my small commentary in Telugu on the concept of love titled “Premante” (love means) to our Telugu Lecturer Yandamuri Narasimha Murthy for his comment on it. Civics class went on from 11:00 to 11:50. Though other lecturers come to college, they avoided taking our classes. Went to bus stop. This morning I heard that today Bokaro-Alleppey Express would be three hours late. I did not like to waste my time waiting for this train at the railway station. Took a bus and reached Adduroad. The fare was three rupees and 25 paise. From there took a sharing auto rickshaw and reached the over bridge near the NRPM railway station. Paid him two rupees. Reached home by 2:00. Afternoon did some written work. Evening rested for sometime. Went to sleep by 9:30.

24 December (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Started to Peda Gummuluru on bicycle by 8:00. Spent there with my cousin Ravindra Varma till 2:00. Then went to the weekly market at Adduroad and bought vegetables. Returned home by 3:15. Evening the Telugu feature film on Hyderabad Doordarshan was “Karunaamayudu”. Today I wanted to go to Elamanchili but could not. One without money can hardly do anything in this world. Today I spent a moody day. Went to sleep by 9:00.

 25 December (Monday)

Got up by 5:00. Reached NRPM station by 6:20. Vijayawada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 6:40. Reached Elamanchili by 7:15. Practiced typing from 7:30 to 10:30. Then went to cinema Venkateswara and saw the English film “The Cold of the Night”. It is a good film. Came back to railway station by 3:35. Reached home by 4:15 by Tirumala Express. My thought follows, “If a person firmly believes in and worships God, He always saves such devotee. But the graciousness of God is that He protects both the good and the bad ones alike. He comes into this world now and then to save virtue from evil and seers from sinners”. Today Christmas was celebrated all over the world. Went to bed by 9:00.

26 December (Tuesday)

Got up by 5:00. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 6:40. Reached type institute by 7:20. First typed two speed papers. Then started typing sales account. Just then severe dizziness started in my head. My eyes gave me a feeling that I was being carried away by a whirlwind with some 100 kilometer speed per hour. I could not stand up or balance myself. Somehow I managed to come to the table of our type master D V S D Prasad, who looks like a skeleton. Laid my giddy head on the table. Yet the dizziness did not stop. After sometime rushed out and vomited. Phlegm came out. Still the giddiness was on. Came back and laid my head on the table. Asked our type master to provide me with some tea from their house. Tea was brought from their house in a few minutes. I was internally shocked to look at the tea. It was just like some hot, tea colored, tasteless water. I sipped it helplessly suppressing the innocent argument of my rational mind. That tea represented the mentality and the poverty of lower middle class people in India. I could not type any more. Came back to railway station and took Simhadri Express. Spent rest of the time at home. Today I became very weak. May God bless me. Went to bed by 9:00.

 27 December (Wednesday)

Woke up by 4:00. Got ready and reached NRPM station by 9:15. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger arrived by 9:30. Reached Elamanchili by 10:00. Moved to college. Today the Lower Grade Typewriting Examinations were started. Tomorrow the third and fourth batches of our type institute take this test. Here let me mention something else important. Lakshmi, who is living opposite our house in our village with her parents and two younger sisters, has also admiration for me. I found it recently through her explicit gestures (as a last resort) to me. Recently I sent her a letter by post in which I advised her not to kill her conscience while deciding about her marriage. Her father never allows her to go against his wishes. He is a nasty hypocrite and merciless bloke in such matters. His daughter is suffering like anything under his cruel supervision devoid of true love for her. Went to sleep by 9:00.

 28 December (Thursday)

Got up by 5:00. Stayed at home till 9:00. Then started to NRPM railway station. Waited for the train for a long time. Tirumala Express arrived by 11:30. Reached Elamanchili by 12:00. Moved to our government junior college (where the typewriting examinations are being conducted). Scanned all the contents to be tested in the Lower Grade Typewriting Examination in English. Had two rupees of ripe bananas and filled my stomach. Then entered the examination hall in our college. The test took place from 2:00 to 4:00. I did not do well in the first paper. Came back to railway station by 4:30. Tirumala Express arrived by 5:00. Reached home by 5:25. The results of this typewriting examination may be announced in the second month of next year. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on radio. Went to sleep by 9:00.

 29 December (Friday)

Got up by 5:00. Stayed at home till 9:00. Tirumala Express arrived by 9:40. Reached Elamanchili by 10:15. Moved to college. Today only Telugu class took place. Reached railway station by 12:30. Bokaro-Alleppey Express arrived by 12:34. Reached home by 1:30. Had my lunch. Rested for sometime. Then prepared history notes. This morning I wrote a letter to send to Lakshmi. Recently my mind got involved in something else very disturbing. So, I became inactive in my life and inattentive toward my studies. Today our English Lecturer Hasina Begum also commented that I am looking weak. She also said that our former English Lecturer Vijaya Prabha enquired her about my well-being. I felt happy to hear that. I can’t take my annual examinations if I remain like this. May God bless me with physical and mental strength and enable me to take the exams well. Night watched Telugu cine songs on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Went to bed by 9:00.

 30 December (Saturday)

Got up by 5:00. Stayed at home till 9:00 preparing English notes. Then went to NRPM station. Tirumala Express arrived by 9:30. Reached Elamanchili by 10:00. Moved to college. Today only Telugu class took place. Spent much time loitering here and there. Reached cinema Parameswari by 2:20 to see the Telugu film “Drohi” of Kamal Hassan and Arjun. The power generator at this cinema was under repair. They thought that it may be repaired soon. They sold tickets to viewers. I too went in and sat along with some other viewers. Came to know that the generator could not be repaired. It was already 3:20. They returned money to the ticket holders. Some folks (including me) did not keep the counterfoils with them. Eventually a clash took place. At last the money was given back to us because it was the mistake of the owner of the cinema to waste our time giving tickets without showing the advertised film in time. Today I posted my third letter to Lakshmi. May God direct it. Returned home by 4:10 by Tirumala Express. Night watched television for sometime. Went to sleep by 9:00.

31 December (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Went to Adduroad by 8:00 on bicycle and bought a New Year greeting card to send to Molleru Mallavaram. Spent most of the rest of the time within the house. Morning listened to Telugu cine songs on radio. Afternoon watched a Bengali feature film on Delhi Doordarshan. Evening watched part of the Telugu feature film “Idhem Pellaam Baaboy” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Remained awake till 12:00 watching television. Welcomed the Happy New Year 1996. Went to sleep by 1:00.

 1 January 2006 (Monday)

Got up by 3:00. Took two laxatives aiming at the cleanliness of my stomach. A happy welcome to the Prosperous New Year 2006. May this new year be bright and excellent to me in my educational and other pursuits. May God provide me with good health. May Mother Saraswati bless me with success in my studies. May my mind work effectively. May many additional answer sheets be taken by me in the annual examinations. Let me get good marks in my second year Intermediate so that I can get place in degree college. May my sweetheart Lakshmi always be happy. Today I paid 75 rupees in our college as the fee for my annual examinations. I collected the application form as well. Today is an auspicious day. Let me get first class even in my second year Intermediate. Today I saw the Hindi film “Moharam” in cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir. It is good. May New Year bring me peace and bliss. May Lord Krishna bless me. May Lord Ganesh bless me. May my lecturers bless me. May all the Hindu gods and goddess bless me. May everything go on well with the kind looks of God at me. Went to bed by 9:00.

2 January 2006 (Tuesday)

Got up by 5:00. Stayed at home till 9:00. Then started to NRPM railway station. Tirumala Express arrived by 10:00. Reached Elamanchili by 10:30. Moved to college. Today only Telugu and History classes went on in the morning session. Reached railway station by 1:00. Bokaro-Alleppey Express had already left the station. Started waiting for the next train. I felt hungry. Moved to the hotel by station road and had, in a surprising manner, eight rupees of tiffin. Two plates of pooris for six rupees and two sweets for two rupees; totally eight rupees of tiffin. Gave a ten-rupee note to the head of the hotel. He has no change of two rupees. He has to give me two rupees. Tirumala Express arrived by 4:00. Reached home by 4:40. Recently I gave my writing on love “Premante” to our Telugu lecturer for his comment on it. Still there is no reply from him. Perhaps he must have liked it very much. May be it is my arrogance. May God bless me. May God direct me in a clean, beautiful and happy route. Today I spent a good day. Went to bed by 9:00.

3 January 2006 (Wednesday)

Got up by 5:00. Stayed at home till 9:00. Then started to NRPM railway station. Tirumala Express arrived by 9:18. It takes 20 minutes to reach Elamanchili from our (NRPM) railway station by Express train. Moved to college. Still there was much time for the classes to start. So, moved to public library. Spent there for sometime reading some books. Moved to college by 10:40. Today Civics, Telugu, History and Economics classes went on. Went to bus stop and spent there for sometime. Reached railway station by 3:00. Tirumala Express arrived by 4:00. Reached home by 4:30. Today I received a New Year greeting card from my residential school friend Prasad. May God bless him bright life. Lord Krishna! Please guide me well in my education. Night did some written work. My prayers to Lord Gopal. Spent a good day. Went to bed by 9:00.

Addresses of the year:

D S Raju,

16 Engineering Regiment,

163 Bridging Company,

C/o 56 APO.

Pakalapati Venkatapathi Raju,

M Mallavaram (Village),

M Mallavaram (Post),

Gokavaram (Mandal),

East Godavari (District) – 533 285.

Bokaro-Alleppey Express friend’s address:

P K R Kumar,

75, Greams Road,

Mount Road,

Madras-75.

Our village phone number-0057250.

© 2011 Datla Chiranjeevi Raju