MY PERSONAL DIARY OF 1998

 

1 January (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and went to NRPM railway station by 7:00. Took Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger. Went to Government Degree College by 8:00. Today our classmates (the students of first year B.A.) planned to celebrate the New Year Day function among ourselves in our classroom. Our classroom was decorated with color papers. About 40 students, including girls, gathered in the classroom. The function was started by 10:00. A Sekhar, the President of our College Student Union and the Games Secretary were invited as the guests of honor. Some of our classmates spoke a bit on the occasion. Some sang a few cine songs. The party was over by 11:30 after the distribution of sweets. Today I gave a New Year greeting card to K V V S S Lakshmi, a girl student of our class. She hardly speaks with anybody, except with her best friends, who also happen to be girls, coming from her nearby villages, along with her, daily by bus. Afternoon saw the Telugu film “Annamayya” of Nagarjuna in cinema Sita Chitra Mandir. Returned home by 8:00 by Visakhapatnam-Rajahmundry passenger. May this New Year bring peace into my life and success in every effort. My salutes to Lord Gopal, Mother Saraswati, Lord Ganesh and our lecturers. Went to sleep by 9:00. 

2 January (Friday)

Got up by 5:45. I need not go to college for seven days from the first of this month as the “Janma Bhoomi” (this program was started by N Chandra Babu Naidu, the present Chief Minister of Andhra Pradesh. It necessitates the participation of college students and government employees in the scheduled development works of the state government going on in the rural and urban areas. It aims at the development of the state, with the compulsory and active participation of the native people, for their own cause, in their respective areas) program is going on in which our college students are also participating. I don’t know how far these students can contribute to the development of villages and cities through their participation in this program. But, the college working days, which are very few, after excluding the general, special and festival holidays, are also being misused this way. Most of the government degree colleges are there for the livelihood of the lecturers and other non-teaching staff working there and not for the betterment of the students through provision of quality education. Let it go on. I spent all the day at home. Recited some content from my history notes for some time. Night watched the program of Telugu cine songs “Chithra Lahari” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Today it was hot. Spent a good day. Went to sleep by 9:00.

3 January (Saturday)

Got up by 5:15. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Spent all the day at home reciting (I am a competent creature in the art of recitation. I can recite long answers also easily. During my examinations, I would paste them on the answer sheets, using the pen in my hand and downloading them from my memory) some essay type questions and answers from my history notes. I did it lying on cot for some time and sitting in our easy chair for some time. The main problem in reciting these essays of long answers is that the sentences are longer and it is difficult to remember their sequence later. What to do? One, aspiring to get good marks in the course of arts, must do it because while one is writing the answers during examination, there won’t be time to construct sentences afresh recollecting some words on the spot. Long answers have to be written in a short time and only a creature that recited them very well can do it fast. Also one can’t write the complete answers stored in one’s brain. He has to cut some sentences of the long answer strategically on the spot bearing the chasing time factor in mind. Went to sleep by 8:00.

4 January (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Afternoon watched part of the feature film “Hamaal Dhe Dhamaal” on Delhi Doordarshan. Thereafter went to the weekly market in Adduroad and bought vegetables. Evening watched Telugu feature film “Andhaala Raamudu” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Went to sleep by 9:00.

5 January (Monday)

Got up by 5:00. From 7:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. recited some essay type questions and answers from my history notes with breaks in between. By 3:15 started to Adduroad on bicycle. Carried out the domestic work of getting green gram processed at a mill and returned home by 4:15. From 4:30 to 5:00 watched the recently started Telugu daily serial “Ruthu Raagaalu” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. From 6:00 to 6:30 watched another Telugu program “Cine Muthyaalu” on it. The cold winds of winter are slowly taking people into their custody. The blades of green grass are being covered with dewdrops by early morning. They mix with the air when the sun rises a bit in the east. The cold is making the villagers shiver if they come out during late night or early morning in their ordinary clothes. I (like to) walk in the cold with my ordinary clothes only. This is a small fight between the cold winter and my bold body. There is no much harm in this and so I like this silly game with my chilly Mother Nature. I should be greeted, teased and caressed by the spell of her cold winds around me. Went to sleep by 9:00.

6 January (Tuesday)

Got up by 5:00. All the day spent at home. Today I recited two essay type questions and answers from my history notes sitting in the easy chair and lying on cot. Evening watched the Telugu programs “Ruthu Raagaalu”, “Jaabulu Javaabulu”, “Cine Muthyaalu”, “Cine Sourabhaalu” and “Apuroopa Chithraalu” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Night watched the Telugu serial “Mallee Thellavaarindhi” on it. My thought follows, “In the present generation, the word ‘confidence’ is missing to be found in human beings toward others. The word ‘hypocrisy’ replaced it. It might be the result of economic differences, fraudulent nature, criminal attitudes, upstart mentalities, dishonesty and suspicion in and among the contemporary social beings. So, everybody thinks that he or she should not believe in others. At last only dogs remained to be trusted wholeheartedly by all. A human being can’t trust other human beings”. Went to sleep by 8:30.

7 January (Wednesday)

Got up by 5:45. All the day spent at home. Today I recited one essay type answer from my history notes. Today my mother prepared sweets on the occasion of coming Sankranti. Evening watched the Telugu serial “Ruthu Raagaalu” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Night watched the Telugu serial “Baktha Jayadeva” on it. Thereafter watched “Chithra Haar” on Delhi Doordarshan. Today I received a New Year greeting card from my friend Subrahmanyam Raju (also called Bullet Raju. He is basically from Bhima Varam. He became my friend during my stay in Guntur for coaching to the Polytechnic Entrance Test at Tadikonda Study Circle) in Hyderabad. By today the fifth phase “Janma Bhoomi” works came to an end in our state. My thought follows, “Love is a wonderful concept. When we love all equally, there won’t be any personal attachment with anybody and so it is an ideal relationship to be practiced by everybody without fear. When a boy and a girl or a man and woman are involved in it, the mutual bodily attractions throw them into the ditch of psychological attachment and it becomes a serious love affair thereafter. The ideal solution is they should marry to keep that bond like that forever. Otherwise both of them have to play their respective tragic roles being separated from one another and connected to some other helpless creatures. Our love for our parents, relatives and friends is neither a serious issue to worry about nor a sweet thing to recollect and rejoice at later in life”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

8 January (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. This morning I did not do any useful work. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 9:10. The sound of the arrival of Tirumala Express was evident when I was walking across the paddy fields and so I ran to catch it. It arrived at its scheduled time today to make me run for it. Reached degree college by 10:15. Though all the lecturers came to college, not even one class took place. There is nobody to question them, including me. Lecturers are not honest in doing their jobs because they are receiving their salaries from the government without any pressure or punishment from anybody. They are committing a social crime but none fights against that evil because there are no injuries or deaths involved in it. It is a prevalent social issue and so something not to be worried about by the common. Morning saw the Telugu film “Jurassic Park”, the dubbed version of the English film “The Lost World”, in cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir. Came back to railway station by 2:00. Bokaro–Alleppey Express arrived by 2:40. Reached home by 3:20. Evening watched the Telugu serial “Ruthu Raagaalu” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Today I bought a new clipboard for my ensuing examinations. Went to sleep by 7:00.

9 January (Friday)

Woke up by 5:30. This morning I did not do any useful work. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 9:15. Took Tirumala Express and reached Elamanchili by 10:00. Attended the classes by 10:15. Today a few students only came to college and also our class. English Lecturer Jaya Parvathy came to our class and discussed some content of our English textbook. She also announced that our college would be reopened on the 20^th of this month after Pongal (Sankranti) holidays. Spent some time at the pan shop of my friend Appa Rao reading Telugu weeklies. Came back to railway station by 12:00. Visakhapatnam-Tuni shuttle arrived by 12:10. Reached home by 12:50. Ironed my clothes from 2:00 to 3:30. From 3:00 to 5:00 listened to Telugu, Malayalam, Tamil and Hindi cine songs on radio. Night watched the program of Telugu cine songs “Chithra Lahari” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Went to sleep by 9:00.

10 January (Saturday)

Got up by 5:00. All the day spent at home. From 8:00 to 12:00 recited some questions and answers from my history notes. I am much irritated with this recitation method. The difficulty I find in recitation is that the sentences are too long to recite/remember. A number of questions and answers can’t be recited line to line to be reproduced exactly later in the examinations. I don’t know how to overcome this problem. My name is associated with first class in our class and college also. I don’t know if I can keep it up. May God bless me. From 3:00 to 5:00 listened to cine songs on radio. Night watched two Telugu programs on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Went to sleep by 9:00.

11 January (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:30. I could not watch many programs on Doordarshan today because there was cricket on show. From 8:00 to 12:00 spent listening to cine songs on radio. By 2:00 left for Adduroad on bicycle. Bought vegetables in the weekly market there and returned home by 4:00. Evening watched Telugu feature film “Hello Guroo” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Went to sleep by 9:00.

12 January (Monday)

Got up by 5:00. Spent all the day at home. From 8:00 to 10:00 listened to cine songs on radio. From 3:00 to 5:00 listened to Telugu and Malayalam cine songs from Sri Lanka radio station. Evening watched the Telugu serial “Mahadhaanandham” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. From 8:00 to 9:00 listened to cine songs on radio. My thought follows, “Human beings can never have absolute liberty in any civilized society. Everywhere one has to behave within some limitations and boundaries. One can be totally free, physically and mentally, when one is alone. The brain of a human being is a storeroom of various thoughts and desires, all of which can’t be fulfilled in one’s real life. Cultured society expects the man to be a self-controlled creature to allow others to be happy”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

13 January (Tuesday)

Got up by 5:00. All the day spent at home. Today Hindus celebrate “Bhogi”. India shines with her festive gaiety. Early morning I Took a head bath with cold water. My brother Sambha and I set bonfire in front of our house and enjoyed its heat standing by it. Because of the scheduled power cut till 11:00, our village remained quiet. From 8:30 to 10:00 listened to cine songs on radio. From 11:00 to 3:30 watched a U.G.C. telecast and the Hindi serials “Aparaajita”, “Waqt Ki Raftaar”, “Ithihaas” and “Yug” on Delhi Doordarshan. From 4:00 to 5:00 listened to Malayalam cine songs from Sri Lanka radio station. Evening watched the Telugu weekly serial “Mallee Thellavaarindhi” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. I am not watching it regularly. Today I spent casually at home but our village looked vibrant. Sons-in-law and daughters are spending their time happily at the houses of the latter’s parents. There are many army men in our village. Some of them came to celebrate this festival along with their dear ones. Went to sleep by 9:00.

14 January (Wednesday)

Got up by 5:00. Today Hindus celebrate “Makara Sankranti”, their important festival of the year. From 8:00 to 10:00 listened to cine songs on radio. By 11:30 started to the house of my uncle Rama Raju at Raja Venkata Nagaram on bicycle to give them some sweets prepared at our house on the occasion of this festival. Returned home by 1:30. Played at the lottery desks (a game of gambling in which six rubber or other metal made dice are thoroughly shaken in a small container and placed on a desk. The fate of the players depends on the arrangement of the dice once the master of the game lifts his container up from the desk on which the players bet their money keeping it on the numbers from 1 to 6. This game of gambling is a common sight in most of the villages in our state during fairs and festivals) in our village for some time. I got ten rupees. Today I did not wear a new pair of clothes. I celebrated this festival very simply. This time in our village also there is no much shining or appearance of new faces. Most of our Kshatriyas spend their time playing cards in their homes in a very serious manner betting money at their best possible levels and often forgetting eating and sleeping altogether. This festival makes them mad. They play this game like anything. The poorer and younger ones in the village go to see films walking in groups happily. This is a festival of happiness for newly married couples if the in-laws of the males are financially a bit strong. Otherwise they also spend simply within their homes. What can they do without money in these festive seasons! Cultural events did not take place today in our village on this occasion. My prayers to Lord Gopal and Mother Saraswati. Spent a happy day. Went to sleep by 9:00.

15 January (Thursday)

Got up by 5:00. Today we observe our Kanuma festival (Bhogi, Sankranti, Kanuma and Mukkanuma are the four festive days in order celebrated by many villagers). From 9:00 to 9:45 listened to Telugu cine songs from Visakhapatnam radio station. By 11:00 started to Adduroad on bicycle. Saw the Telugu film “Priyaa O Priyaa” in cinema Venkatapathi Raju Mahal in the morning show. Returned home by 2:30. From 3:30 to 8:00 played at the lottery desks and lost 360 rupees in that game. First I lost a little money. Then I went mad to get it back at any cost. Went back to our house and brought the money given by my father for my monthly expenses. There is no a single rupee on me or at home after I lost this money in this game. I helplessly returned home and took head bath realizing that now I can sleep happily because there is no money on me to play that nasty game any more. I felt very disturbed to lose that much of money in my poor student life. None of our family members knows that I lost this much of money in the game of fate. They play with me like anything if they know about it. I don’t consider it a blunder I committed. The attraction of the game is such. I am too small to resist it. Even big fellows lost hundreds of rupees in this game and returned to their homes with dim faces. I realized that spending money carefully and usefully is very important to lead life peacefully for some time. Spending money recklessly may lead to suicidal tendencies also at times. Everybody must avoid it exerting self-discipline upon oneself and taking precautionary measures in advance. Had my supper by 8:15. Went to sleep by 9:00.

16 January (Friday)

Got up by 5:00. By 10:00 started to Darlapudi on bicycle to meet my friend Datla Srinivasa Raju. He is working as an apprentice in this sugar factory after completing his I.T.I. course. Both of us were good friends during our studies in Gollalagunta up to seventh standard. He used to stay at the house of his maternal grandparents and I with my maternal grandparents. Our houses were side by side. I knew that he is not on duty today. From there I went to State Bank of India in Etikoppaka and withdrew 500 rupees from my savings account to meet my present inevitable expenses. In Darlapudi I bought a bicycle saddle and a cover for it which cost me 40 rupees in total. Returned home by 12:30. I was engaged in fitting the saddle to our short bicycle till 2:30. Took our Philips Jawan radio to Adduroad by 4:30 to get it repaired by a mechanic. I opened it at home to repair it out of curiosity. I did something wrong with the inner string that moves when we tune the outside switch to change from station to station. Returned home by 5:30. Today I spent all the day in hasty and fast journeys on bicycle. My prayers to Lord Ganapathi. Spent a good day. Went to sleep by 9:00.

17 January (Saturday)

Got up by 5:00. All the day spent at home. I did not do any useful work today. From 3:30 to 5:00 listened to cine songs on radio. Night watched the Hindi feature film “Koobsoorat” on Delhi Doordarshan One till 11:30. I did not watch it till the end. My thought follows, “Politics are highly polluted now. Local political parties came up in all the states. They are trying to acquire power at the local and national levels through unscrupulous alliances and dishonest and cruel strategies. Another important point is that, in the present days, films and politics became great opportunities for skilled ones to earn much money and fame within a short period. The degradation of values in politics and films will have a bad impact on the society as a whole. The nation suffers a lot due to these bad and dangerous trends”. Went to sleep by 11:40.

18 January (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:45. Today India won against Pakistan in the Independence Day Cricket Cup being held in Dhaka. Afternoon bought vegetables in the weekly market at Adduroad. Evening watched Telugu feature film “Rojulu Maaraayi” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Went to sleep by 9:00.

19 January (Monday)

Got up by 5:50. All the day spent at home. Morning listened to cine songs on radio for one hour. Afternoon ironed my clothes. Today I spent idly without studying or doing any other useful work. My thought follows, “God made the issue of ‘search for food’ highly necessary for all the living beings. Man struggles for his food in a thoughtful and active way. He saves some money for his future also. Other creatures on earth don’t do so. But, an interesting point for me is, how the smaller creatures and little animals like rats get their food. There is a Hindu belief that God is a senior fellow in attending such essential duties of His world whereby He ensures that even the most junior creatures on His earth are provided with some kind of food. What a great duty has He been doing for centuries! Is He not tired with His long honorary services?”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

20 January (Tuesday)

Got up by 5:00. Morning watched the program of devotional songs “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan listening to which one’s mind enters a happy world of divinity and tranquility. Today Tirumala Express arrived by 10:00. I reached our degree college by 10:40. Today English, History and Political Science classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon had four samosas at Ambika Tea Stall. I knew that there was a class in the afternoon session but I avoided it and saw the Telugu film “Anaconda” of Columbia Productions in which the beauty of River Amazon is striking to be watched and enjoyed. I liked the scenery also in this film. The story revolves around a huge, fatal and wild snake (computer created). The expedition team is on its way to do research at a region of tribes in a deep forest. They come across this huge and poisonous snake on their voyage by river. The hair-raising fight between this huge creature and those research team members is very interesting and exciting to watch. Returned home by 5:40 by Godavari Express. Went to sleep by 9:00.

21 January (Wednesday)

Got up by 5:20. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” and a program of the University Grants Commission on Delhi Doordarshan. Went to NRPM railway station by 9:15. Reached degree college by 10:15. Politics, English and History classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon had four samosas at Ambika Tea Stall. By 2:00 attended the Hindi class but our lecturer did not come. Came back to railway station by 3:00. Reached home by 4:20 by Tirumala Express. Today my brother Sambha returned from his 40 days of tour to North India. Night avoided listening to radio and watching television. Recently the prices of onions were highly increased due to failure of that crop caused by the recent heavy rains. One kilo of onions costs 30 rupees. To meet the demand for this essential item, imports are being undertaken by the state government. Went to sleep by 10:30.

22 January (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:45. Morning prepared lunch at home. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 9:15. Tirumala Express arrived at its scheduled time. I could catch it luckily. Detrained at Elamanchili by 9:40 and spent some time in the public library. Went to degree college by 10:20. Today Hindi, Politics and English classes went on in the morning session from 10:15 to 1:00. Afternoon had four samosas at Ambika Tea Stall. Afternoon only Economics class took place. The fifth period rarely takes place on any working day because 90% of the lecturers come from distant places by train. Evening they catch trains avoiding their classes if they fall in the fifth period. Today it was cool. Returned home by 4:00 by Tirumala Express. Evening prepared rice and curry at home. Night did not watch television. Went to sleep by 11:00.

23 January (Friday)

Got up by 5:00. Morning watched Doordarshan for some time. Reached NRPM railway station by 9:40. Tirumala Express arrived by 10:10. Attended the classes by 10:50. Today English, Economics and History classes went on in the morning session. Afternoon had four samosas at Ambika Tea Stall. Afternoon avoided attending two classes and saw the English film “Night Fire” in cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir in which passion and coitus are the main contents of the story. It is an engaging and informative film. Came back to railway station by 4:30. Spent my time there going through my English textbook. Reached home by 6:00 by Godavari Express. Night skimmed my English dictionary for some time and watched television. Went to sleep by 9:00.

24 January (Saturday)

Got up by 5:00. Morning skimmed an English grammar book for some time. Caught Tirumala Express by 9:15 with a bit of running finding it rushing to the platform before me. Attended the classes by 10:15. Today Economics, History and English classes went on. There were no classes in the afternoon in view of the scheduled “Student Parent Meeting” to which few attended. Returned home by 2:00 by Bokaro–Alleppey Express. From 3:00 to 5:00 spent at our Panchayat office. Night watched the Hindi feature film “Deewana” on Delhi Doordarshan till the end. It is an engaging love story. Went to sleep by 1:30.

25 January (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:30. Spent all my time at home. Morning watched “Rangoli” and “Sri Krishna” programs on Delhi Doordarshan. Today it was cloudy. It also rained a bit. Evening watched the Telugu feature film “Sukra Vaaram Mahaa Lakshmi” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Went to sleep by 9:00.

26 January (Monday)

Got up by 6:15. Today India celebrates her 48^th Republic Day with a spirit of joy and victory. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 7:00. Took Godavari Express and reached Elamanchili by 7:30. Spent some time at the bus station and went to degree college by 9:00. The principal of the college, some teaching and non-teaching staff, and a few students assembled there to celebrate the occasion of the day. The principal unfurled the national flag. The flowers in it showered upon us. We saluted the national flag with patriotism. The principal gave a short speech, the synopsis of which is to dedicate ourselves to the multidimensional development of our nation investing our best individual and collective efforts forgetting the differences among us. Later chocolates were distributed. I saw the Telugu film “Master” of Chiranjeevi, Sakshi Sivanand and Roshini in cinema Venkateshwara in the morning show. Returned home by 4:30 by Tirumala Express. Today I did not have my breakfast or lunch except some eatables in Elamanchili. Went to sleep by 8:30.

27 January (Tuesday)

Got up by 5:00. This morning I did not do any useful work. Went to NRPM railway station by 9:15 and knew that today Tirumala Express would arrive very late. Targeting attending the college at any cost, went up to the over bridge and took a bus to Adduroad. From there took another bus for Elamanchili. Reached degree college by 10:30. Today morning classes did not take place due to absence of many lecturers. I spent loafing about here and there and reading some Telugu weeklies at the pan shop of my classmate Appa Rao. Afternoon had four samosas at Ambika Tea Stall. Attended the afternoon classes by 2:00. Hindi class went on. The Politics class could not retain even ten students because it fell in the fifth period. Only three students were there. It went on for half an hour. Returned home by 5:00 by Tirumala Express. Night watched Doordarshan for some time. Went to sleep by 8:30.

28 January (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:20. Morning skimmed my Active Study Dictionary of English of Orient Longman Limited for some time. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 9:15. Detrained at Elamanchili by 10:00. Attended the classes by 10:30. Today Politics, History and Hindi classes went on. Afternoon had four samosas at Ambika Tea Stall. Came back to railway station by 3:00. Tirumala Express arrived by 4:00. Reached home by 4:30. Night watched the program of Hindi cine songs “Chithra Haar” on Delhi Doordarshan. I don’t like carrying food with me from our house for my lunch in Elamanchili. My mother finishes cooking food by the time I start to railway station in the morning. My father daily takes his carrier of lunch to the sugar factory. So, my mother prepares food by 7:15 in the morning on all his factory working days of general shift (from 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m.). I don’t like the scenes of carrying a food container in my hands while going to railway station, keeping it somewhere after reaching college, coming back from the college to have it after the classes in the morning session, finding a neat place to sit and eat it, washing those dishes after eating, and bringing it back to home in the return journey, not forgetting it somewhere on the way. My English films make me forget it somewhere while hurrying to catch a train at the eleventh hour! Went to sleep by 9:00.

29 January (Thursday)

Got up by 5:00. Morning went through my English grammar book, written by Dayananda Alamuri, for some time. Today our college does not go on for students because our lecturers have some training class for the ensuing mid-term general election in which they participate. I went to Elamanchili by 10:00 by Tirumala Express. Read Telugu weekly Swati for some time at the pan shop of my friend Appa Rao and proceeded to cinema Parameswari by 10:30. Saw the Telugu film “Pelli Chesukundhaam” of Venkatesh and Soundarya. Came back to railway station by 1:45. Bokaro-Alleppey Express (8689) arrived by 2:15. Reached home by 3:00. Gave the Telugu weekly Swati to teacher Varma in our village. He gave me money this morning to buy and bring it for him from Elamanchili. Went through the aforesaid English grammar book in the evening and night for some time. It seems this year winter is not much cold. Went to sleep by 9:00.

30 January (Friday)

Got up by 5:30. Today Muslims celebrate Ramadan and so we have a holiday. On this date, 50 years ago, Mahatma Gandhi, the father of our nation, was assassinated. Prayers of solidarity and integrity were held by the followers of all faiths in New Delhi to pay tribute to him, who dreamt for a tolerant India wherein the people of all the religions live like brothers and sisters. His dream was shattered very soon after independence to India, with the separation of United India into Pakistan and India. By 8:00 went to Adduroad in an auto rickshaw. My father recently bought two house sites in Adduroad. The first one is of 240 square yards and the second one is of 288 square yards. Two coolies cleared the surface of the first bought one today, which was said to be suitable for construction of a house by specialists of the field. I went there on the request of my father to see where our sites exist. Returned home by 1:00. Evening and night went through the English grammar book for some time. Night watched excellent patriotic Telugu cine songs on Hyderabad Doordarshan. My salutes to the martyrs of India who died in the struggle for independence. Went to sleep by 9:00.

31 January (Saturday)

Got up by 5:00. Morning skimmed my English grammar book for some time. Today I missed Tirumala Express when walking to the station because it arrived at its scheduled time. Took a bus and attended the classes by 10:30. Today Politics, History and Hindi classes went on in the morning session. No afternoon classes due to absence of our two lecturers. Came back to railway station and knew that Bokaro-Alleppey Express would arrive 150 minutes late. Bought a copy of Telugu weekly Andhra Jyothi at a nearby shop and spent reading it. Returned home by 4:00 by Tirumala Express. Evening spent some time at our Panchayat office. By 7:15 our present M.L.A. (Member of Legislative Assembly representing Payakaraopeta constituency) Kaakara Nooka Raju of Telugu Desam Party came and addressed the villagers in view of the ensuing election. Went to sleep by 9:00.

1 February (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:30. From 8:00 to 9:00 listened to Hindi cine songs on radio. From 11:00 to 12:00 listened to the Telugu feature film “Maro Charithra” from Hyderabad radio station. Evening watched the Telugu feature film “Guntooru Gundamma Kadha” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Thereafter watched the Hindi programs “A Tryst with the People of India” and “Ramana Dhaaraa” on Delhi Doordarshan. Went to sleep by 9:00.

2 February (Monday)

Got up by 5:30. Morning scanned my English grammar book for some time. Went to NRPM station by 9:15. Reached Elamanchili by 10:30 by Tirumala Express. Attended the classes by 10:50. Today English, History, Economics and Political Science classes went on. By 1:20 had three samosas at Ambika Tea Stall. Today I took student concession form (meant for railway season ticket) from our college. Came back to station by 3:30. Reached home by 4:30 by Tirumala Express. Evening went to Adduroad to telephone and enquire about the entrance test into the course at Indo American Hotel Management in Visakhapatnam for the sake of my brother-in-law Raja of Molleru Mallavaram. But the telephone at the other end was engaged. Night wrote a letter to my brother Srinivas. Went to sleep by 10:30.

3 February (Tuesday)

Got up by 5:30. Morning went through my English grammar book for some time. Went to NRPM railway station by 9:15. Spent talking with my friends there till 10:30. Reached Elamanchili by 11:00 and attended the classes by 11:15 (walking time from the station to the college). Today only Economics and English classes went on. This morning my two friends and I tried hard to buy the quarterly season ticket on student concession from the NRPM station. The clerk shows some cause and rejects giving it. At last we could get it from Elamanchili railway station by 3:30. It costs 116 rupees with student concession. This season ticket remains valid till the 3^rd of coming May. Tirumala Express arrived by 3:45. Reached home by 4:30. Evening watched the Telugu programs “Ruthu Raagaalu”, “Jaabulu Javaabulu” and “Mallee Thellavaarindhi” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Today my mother observed the small Hindu festival “Radha Sapthami” at home. Today I did not have my lunch. Went to sleep by 8:30.

4 February (Wednesday)

Got up by 5:45. Morning went through my English grammar book for some time. Today the male member of a bride party came from village Vajedu in Khammam district proposing a match to my brother Samba. I went to NRPM station by 9:15. Reached Elamanchili by 10:15. Attended the classes by 10:35. Today English, History, Politics and Hindi classes went on. Afternoon had three samosas at Ambika Tea Stall. Came back to railway station by 3:15. Reached home by 4:15 by Tirumala Express. Evening went through a book of meanings of English words. Night watched Telugu news on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Night it rained a bit. It cooled the hot bodies of victims suffering from this sultry weather. Beauty provides gaiety to anybody in general and so everybody must protect and admire it. Went to sleep by 9:00.

5 February (Thursday)

Got up by 5:30. Morning went through my specially prepared book of meanings of English words. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 9:15. Attended the classes by 10:30. Today History, Hindi and Politics classes went on. Afternoon had one onion dosa at a hotel. Today it was cool. Black clouds spread in the sky. Today it rained a bit. Returned home by 4:10 by Tirumala Express. By 4:30 gave the Telugu weekly Swati to teacher Varma. By 5:15 started to the sugar factory at Darlapudi on bicycle to give supper carrier to my father. Returned home by 7:00. Night watched the speeches of Lakshmi Parvati and Chandra Babu Naidu on Hyderabad Doordarshan. They spoke about the merits of their respective political parties and the demerits of other political parties. This is in view of the ensuing Lok Sabha Election. I don’t like the policies and gimmicks of the present political parties. They are surviving on the principles and acts of organized covert violence, fraudulence, nepotism and corruption. Went to sleep by 9:00.

6 February (Friday)

Got up by 5:00. Today our college does not function for the students, because the lecturers have to go for their election class. Went to Raja Venkata Nagaram by 10:30 on bicycle. Spent there talking with my uncle Rama Raju and aunt Raja Kumari. Practiced map pointing of history subject for some time. Returned home by 4:00. From 4:30 to 5:30 practiced map pointing. Night listened to Telugu and Tamil cine songs on radio. Today it was cool. My thought follows, “Many say that one must be careful about one’s safety. Some say to take a lamp along while walking in the darkness of the night, to always walk on the left hand side of the road, to take a clear route of journey, to believe in good people only and so on. I don’t believe in all these precautionary measures one generally observes. Some supernatural power is guiding us time to time. Everything occurs by its orders only. It is difficult to know about it but simply believing in it is easy and desirable”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

7 February (Saturday)

Got up by 5:30. Today it was very cool. The sky was cloudy. Got ready and reached NRPM station by 9:15. Attended the classes by 10:30. Then it started raining heavily. It was due to the cyclonic effect. Students could not come to the classes in time. By 11:00 it stopped raining. In our class, there were about 20 students. Politics class went on till 12:00. No other classes took place due to the absence of students against the cold weather and the heavy rain which ruins  roads with flow of muddy rainwater. Returned home by 4:15 by Tirumala Express. Night watched Hyderabad Doordarshan for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00.

8 February (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:30. Today it was cloudy and cool. It also rained a bit. Afternoon bought vegetables in the weekly market at Adduroad. Evening watched the Telugu feature film “Dheva Kanya” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Went to sleep by 9:00.

9 February (Monday)

Got up by 5:15. This morning I did not do any useful work. Got ready and went to NRPM railway station by 9:15. Attended the classes by 10:30. Today History, English and Politics classes went on. Afternoon had three samosas at Ambika Tea Stall. Returned home by 4:15 by Tirumala Express. Rest of the day spent without doing any useful work. Went to bed by 7:00 in order to sleep early and get up early the following morning. I could not sleep, as I desired. For a long time I am accustomed to sleep by 9:00 and now that habit could not be changed at once in favor of me. Habits have such great impact on the character of a person. This is why many inculcate bad habits easily but cannot come out of them once deep into them. Went to sleep by 9:00.

10 February (Tuesday)

Got up by 5:00. Morning went through my history notes for some time. Reached NRPM railway station by 9:15. Attended the classes by 10:15. Today Economics, Politics and Hindi classes went on. Afternoon had three samosas at Ambika Tea Stall. Returned home by 4:15 by Tirumala Express. Spent rest of the day without doing any useful work. Today has a peculiarity in it in our nearby locality. Today it is Maagha Pournami, on which day, every year, a great fair takes place at Revu Polavaram, a seaside village, very near to us. Tomorrow morning visitors observe holy ablutions in the seawater in a traditional manner. This night a number of people go there and enjoy themselves by seashore in the moonlight. One can’t observe the differences of caste, religion, race and gender among the visitors that come to enjoy this annual fair. Hindus worship Lord Madhava Swamy, the presiding deity of this village in the temple on the hillock. The tides rise up and fall down enthusiastically welcoming their guests on seashore. It is a great fair not to be missed but for my studies. I regret it. Went to sleep by 8:30.

11 February (Wednesday)

Got up by 5:00. Morning prepared history subject for some time. Went to NRPM railway station by 9:15. Attended the classes by 10:30. Today Politics and English classes went on. Returned home by 2:00 by Bokaro-Alleppey Express. Ironed my clothes by 4:00. By 8:00 went to NRPM railway station to go to Kakinada by Visakhapatnam-Kakinada passenger. It arrived by 8:30. Reached Kakinada Town railway station by 11:30. Appapantula Visweswara Rao, my residential school friend, already came to station to receive me. We felt happy to meet after a long time. We went to his house on his bicycle. It is located at Big Market Street in Polisetty Vaari Lane. My trip to his house in Kakinada is to attend the work of getting my small writing in Telugu “Premante” printed at some small printing press. Went to bed by 12:00. I hardly slept.   

12 February (Thursday)

Woke up by 4:00. We went to the nearby rented room of our residential school friend M V Mutyala Rao. He was a brilliant student in our school. He got 100/100 marks in mathematics subject along with some ten fellows of our class. These two residential school friends of mine completed their Diploma in Electronics from Andhra Polytechnic in Kakinada. They are presently doing jobs with the Nagarjuna Fertilizers and Chemicals Limited (NFCL) in Kakinada. They are getting a monthly salary of 5000 rupees. Mutyala Rao and I went out by 10:00 from his room. We had our breakfast at Ganesh Udipi Hotel and saw the English film “The Fifth Element” in cinema Geeth on 15-rupee tickets. He bought the costly ticket for me also. I asked him why he was spending that much money for the tickets. He told that he does not worry at the price of tickets because his salary is good enough to meet such small needs of life. He was a thin and short creature while at the residential school. Now he is tall and gained much bodily strength also. He was very poor as a student then. Now he is saying that he does not care for money. I wondered to observe the change in him, both in body and mind. By 2:00 we had our lunch at a hotel. By 5:30, four of us, the two Raos, Vijay, their friend, and I went out to attend the work of my book printing. My wish remained unfulfilled because there are no electronic printers in this town and printing by ordinary printers was said to amount to about 4,000 rupees, which is beyond my capacity now. By 8:30 my friend A V Rao and I went to the house of Saheena. She is a Muslim girl. My friend is in love with her. Had our supper by 9:30. Went to bed by 10:30.

13 February (Friday)

By 4:00 (in the morning) both of us friends came to Kakinada Port railway station. I took leave of him (A V Rao) entraining Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger. I did not buy tickets for my onward or return journeys of this trip. Saheena is presently pursuing Diploma in Electronics at Andhra Polytechnic in Kakinada. Now she is in her second academic year. Vissu (the sobriquet of my friend. He likes it. I don’t like it) wants to marry her after four years when both of them will be financially independent. They are good friends (‘lovers’ in the consideration of innocent observers like me) now. She is a beautiful and open-minded girl. She can be a good life partner to my friend. They meet the phrase ‘made for each other’. They have to succeed in convincing their parents for their marriage. May God bless them. Today I felt uneasy due to sleepiness. Evening had my haircut in Adduroad. Night watched Telugu cine songs on Hyderabad Doordarshan. On the eve of Lovers Day (Valentine’s Day), I went to sleep by 9:00.

14 February (Saturday)

Got up by 5:00. Morning listened to cine songs on radio. By 10:30 started to Adduroad on bicycle. Saw the Telugu film “Hello I Love You” in cinema Venkatapathi Raju Mahal. It is a captivating love story. It is based on the novel of the famous Telugu writer Yandamoori Veerendranath. Returned home by 2:30. From 3:15 to 4:15 listened to Telugu and Malayalam cine songs from Sri Lanka radio station. Our Philips Jawan radio is my good friend. Night watched Telugu news on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Today it is Valentine’s Day. It is a great day for those who have sweethearts. Went to sleep by 8:30.

15 February (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:30. Spent all my time at home. Afternoon watched a few programs on Doordarshan. Evening watched Telugu feature film “Chaamanthi” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. From 8:00 to 8:30 watched the Hindi program “A Tryst with the People of India” on Delhi Doordarshan. Went to sleep by 9:00.

16 February (Monday)

Got up by 5:30. Spent most of the day at home preparing history subject (from my notes). By 4:30 brought green fodder from a field for our buffalo on bicycle. Night watched Doordarshan for one hour. Today it was very hot. Moonlight spreads after 10:00 at night and makes it a bit cool. Today the first phase of the 12^th Lok Sabha Election was held at 21 constituencies in our state. My thought follows, “I believe in the saying ‘Knowledge is Power’. An illiterate and ignorant one thinks in a very narrow way. Such person’s world is very small because it depends on his thinking capacity. Many millionaires and billionaires die without leaving any fame of their own after them but poor Mahatma Gandhi lives long in the hearts of Indians. Knowledge equips one with a broad outlook and it attracts many toward one. Great acts of humanity originate from great thinking and people with such noble ideas and practices live long in this world. Blind practice of one’s tradition and culture make one an ordinary man”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

17 February (Tuesday)

Got up by 5:30. All the day spent at home. Prepared history subject (from my notes) for some time. Night wrote a letter to my sisters-in-law Padmaja and Sowjanya in Molleru Mallavaram, suggesting them a few guidelines useful for their ensuing annual exams. Today it was hot. My thought follows, “I noticed that there is no system of giving awards to some people, who offer excellent services to their dear and near ones. They are homemakers, whose duties include giving birth to children, patiently bringing them up, daily attending their domestic chores like cooking, sweeping, washing and so on. It is a lifelong burden and responsibility to a woman after her marriage. She has hardly any holidays. How patient, ideal and admirable she is! A lazy man worries a lot to cook for one day at his home. A cook in a hotel has holidays to get rid of his mundane work for some days. They are being paid for their skills and related work. So, they develop interest in their work and try to improve themselves time to time in their profession. A poor homemaker has no such recognition or encouragement for her dedicated work at home. How many are there in this nation, who appreciate the cooking skills of their mothers, sisters, and wives! They think that they are born to serve them and so no need to specially appreciate their services for them. Thus a poor, dedicated and innocent homemaker spends a slavish and boring life for many years, depending on the span of her married life. She is a bonded laborer in her house being provided with food, clothes and shelter for her compulsory services. She is a permanent employee in the organization of the ‘Indian Traditional Family System’ without salary, allowances, increments or retirement at some stage of her active life. My mother is one of such unfortunate and innocent creatures of this nation. I pity her race”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

18 February (Wednesday)

Got up by 5:30. Went through my history notes for some time. Morning and evening prepared lunch and supper at home. By 10:30 started to Adduroad on bicycle to post letters at post office in Peda Gummuluru on the way and buy a Reynolds ballpoint refill. My thought follows, “It is very difficult to identify or define ‘that’, which or who is the ‘best’ in this world. There is no such thing or person, which or who is not faulty in any way. Everybody can love the good things of life and appreciate them but it is great if one can love the bad things of one’s life or society also. Because one is good, one can’t avoid bad things or people from the society. One should learn to love them if one can’t change them in any way. Then only one can be happy among bad people and bad things. If possible, one should uproot evil from somebody or society. When it is beyond one’s reach, one should leave it as it is and try to find happiness from that also. If one suffers much about many bad characteristics of a society or obvious demerits of some human beings around one, one can never be happy. It yields distress and pain to one. Moreover, one must change one’s way of thinking and living according to the changing seasons and generations of the time. Resistance to change is undesirable and painful. Such people would be regarded as eccentrics by the contemporary society”. Went to sleep by 8:30.

19 February (Thursday)

Got up by 5:15. All the day spent at home. Morning and evening prepared lunch and supper at home. Went through my history notes for some time. From 4:00 to 5:30 listened to cine songs on radio. My thought follows, “I wonder to find the special attention being paid by the governments of various nations to the field of sports and games. Millions of rupees are being spent for the development of this field. In those countries, we find many poor people who do not know even the names of those sports and games, for which their share of public money is also being spent without their knowledge. Even if they are interested in extraordinary sporting events like the Olympics, they can’t buy tickets to watch them in person. The ignorance and helplessness of the poor keeps them in the same standard of life for years. They are all accustomed to penury and its pains and difficulties. They never question anybody about the injustice being meted out to them by others. How many intelligent, ideal, radical and well-educated citizens of the world could get justice through their questioning and complaining nature? In almost all the countries, the rich are the rulers and the poor are the subjects. Justice is within the access of those that can buy it at any cost but not available to those that fight for it in an honest and truthful manner”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

20 February (Friday)

Got up by 5:30. All the day spent at home. Went through my history notes for some time. Night watched Telugu cine songs on Hyderabad Doordarshan. My thought follows, “Education or learning does not go well unless there is ideal institutional atmosphere and the individual’s burning desire or common interest at least for achieving something toward excellence and perfection. Encouragement from one’s parents or society, depending on the financial status of a person, plays a great role in helping or hindering one’s journey toward one’s goals. There is much difference between erudition and riches. But it is true that education can’t prosper without financial support to some extent. Learning is largely related to one’s brain and character. Earning is mostly centered on one’s patience and tactics. Even a dullard can shine soon if he is interested and committed to improve himself. Keen observation of the contemporary society and the application of those acquired insights at the individual level guide one toward prosperity and happiness. Reading wisdom enriching books like encyclopedias and yearbooks greatly helps one sharpen one’s brain faster. The development of a nation largely depends on the strength of its active intellectuals, not the passive poor or the educated blokes who are mostly self-centered and narrow-minded. Massive stretches of land and natural resources available in a country remain useless unless the intelligent put in their brains to use them optimally and the ordinary help them in their noble efforts for the cause of their nation. Both the intelligent and the hard-working should work together to develop a nation on a fast pace. It rarely occurs in any nation”. Went to sleep by 10:00.

21 February (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:30. Morning went through my history notes for some time. By 9:00 started to NRPM railway station. Waited for train for 90 minutes. Reached Elamanchili by 11:00 by Tirumala Express. Went to cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir and saw an English film. By 1:00 went to our degree college playground and found our students playing cricket. By 1:30 went to the rented house of our principal to get some information urgently from her. She was absent at her house. Again went to the same cinema and saw the same English film. Came back to station by 4:20. Reached home by 5:45 by Godavari Express. Went to sleep by 8:00.

22 February (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:30. By 7:30 went to the primary school in our village and voted in favor of the BJP Party as part of the Lok Sabha Election. Morning watched “Rangoli” and “Sri Krishna” programs on Delhi Doordarshan. Evening it rained. Went to sleep by 8:00.

23 February (Monday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached Narsipatnam Road railway station by 7:00. Took Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger by 7:30 and reached Visakhapatnam by 10:00. Hired an auto rickshaw and went to Andhra University. It was drizzling. Walked through the university campus and drenched myself in the rain. At last I could locate the office of the N.S.S. (National Service Scheme). Met C Sampath Kumar, the present N.S.S. Coordinator, Andhra University, and told him that I would participate, representing our degree college, in the Inter University Essay Writing Competition to be held at Sri Krishna Devaraya University at Anantapur in four days. He told me that he had already bought the railway reservation tickets for me for the onward and return journeys of this trip. Afternoon saw the Telugu film “Aavidaa Maa Aavide” of Nagarjuna, Heera and Tabu in cinema Sangam. It is an engaging story portraying how a husband suffers to deal with his two dedicated wives at a time despite his honesty and morality. I liked it. Reached home by 9:00 by Visakhapatnam-Kakinada passenger. Went to sleep by 9:30.

24 February (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Prepared the meanings of difficult English words till 8:15. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 9:15. Tirumala Express arrived by 10:00. Went to our degree college on an important work. I received 505 rupees from our principal, which has to be given to C Sampath Kumar, the Coordinator of N.S.S., with whom I go to Anantapur, by train, on the 25^th of this month, to participate in the Inter University Essay Writing Competition. A girl student from some other college also comes along with us. We three will go there. Returned home by 2:00 by Bokaro-Alleppey Express. Prepared the meanings of difficult English words for some time. Night watched Doordarshan and listened to cine songs on radio. Today it is the eve of Maha Shiva Raathri, a Hindu festival, observed by many devotees with daylong starvation (called ‘Upavaasam’ in Telugu) and bhajans. Lord Shiva is God of this festival. Went to sleep by 9:00.

25 February (Wednesday)

Got up by 3:00. Let me provide you with the details of my journey to Sri Krishna Devaraya University, Anantapur, where the ‘State Level Essay Writing Competition’ is going to be held, in connection with the N.S.S., on the occasion of the Golden Jubilee Celebrations of India’s Independence. In this competition, from our university region, those two, the first prize winners in English and Telugu Essay Writing competitions, held recently at Andhra University level, would participate. From Andhra University, Visakhapatnam, Datla Chiranjeevi Raju of First Year B.A., from Government Degree College, Elamanchili (I) and a Final Year B.A. girl student of a Christian degree college in Visakhapatnam are participating. She participates in Telugu Essay Writing Competition and I in English category. C Sampath Kumar, the N.S.S. Program Coordinator of Andhra University, accompanies us. The train journey and other expenses are being borne by our university, which amount to 600 rupees, to each one of us.

26 February (Thursday)

I reached Elamanchili by 6:00 a.m. by Godavari Express on the 25^th of this month. Already both of the remaining ones took East Coast Express (Howrah to Hyderabad) at Visakhapatnam railway station. I joined them at Elamanchili. We changed two trains (at Vijayawada and Guntakal junctions) and reached Anantapuram railway station. The Essay Writing Competition was held on the 26^th of this month from 3:30 p.m. onwards. Seven girls and eight boys participated in this competition representing eight universities in Andhra Pradesh. The topic of the essay writing competition is, “Have the Dreams of Freedom Movement Fulfilled? If yes, how? If not, why?” The allotted time to complete writing the essay is 30 minutes. I wrote the essay well but could not get any prize. A girl student of S K University bagged the first prize in English category and another girl of Mahila University won the first prize in Telugu.

27 February (Friday)

On the 27^th of this month, the prize distribution to the winners of the essay writing competition, took place. The collector of Anantapur district also attended this function. The first prize carries a certificate and 1000 rupees, the second prize carries a certificate and 500 rupees and the third prize carries a certificate and 300 rupees. I would mention some points here, which I observed during my visit to Anantapur. It is an underdeveloped area. Much land is barren. Groundnut is the major crop item. I did not see even a single beautiful female or male from the poor or the rich in Anantapur city that night. Their faces looked as if God cursed them. I did not like their language. Many are poor. The land is filled with rocks and boulders. I observed this during my train journey. No good railway connection or bus facilities to Anantapur from other parts of the state or country, I presume. Sai Baba in Puttaparti is a living asset to this district. He contributed much to the recent development in this district, especially in the matter of drinking water supply. I think these natives are victims to this arid land for ages. May God bless them.

28 February (Saturday)

In our return journey, we changed two trains (at Guntakal and Vijayawada junctions) to come toward Visakhapatnam. I detrained from Ratnachal Express (an inter city daily super fast Express train plying between Vijayawada and Visakhapatnam) at Annavaram station by 11:30. Waited there and took Alleppey-Bokaro Express (8690) by 2:00. Reached home by 3:00. I am very tired, physically and mentally, due to this trip of four days. Anyhow I could learn some new things by this visit to Anantapur. I spent 75 rupees (of my own) for my expenses during this trip. I think I am lucky to belong to the district of Visakhapatnam, which is rich in many respects, including material wealth and natural and human beauty. One does not find joy in one’s life unless one’s living or surrounding places are fertile and the people one daily comes across in one’s outdoor life are beautiful. Night watched Doordarshan for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00.

1 March (Sunday)

Woke up by 6:00. Afternoon spent my time listening to radio and watching television. Evening watched the Telugu feature film “Pellaala Raajyam” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. From 8:00 to 8:30 watched the Hindi program “A Tryst with the People of India” on Delhi Doordarshan. My salutes to Lord Gopal. Went to sleep by 9:00.

2 March (Monday)

Got up by 6:00. Morning did not do any useful work. Went to NRPM railway station by 9:15. Reached Elamanchili by 10:15 by Tirumala Express. Today I wanted to get a color photo of mine at Aruna Photo Studio but by the time I went there, the power went off. Today I bought a small purse for ten rupees to keep my small amounts of money. I think a lot before buying even an item of ten rupees because a ten-rupee note is too precious for me to spend. Afternoon had one onion dosa at a hotel. Thereafter saw the Telugu film “Khaidi Gaaru”. It is meant for idlers like me. It has nothing special to talk about after leaving the cinema. These days many Telugu films are like this only. The titles of films hint us how good they would be if we bravely enter a cinema buying a ticket. Returned home by 5:30 by Godavari Express. Night it rained a bit. Went to sleep by 10:00.

3 March (Tuesday)

Got up by 6:00. All the day spent at home neatly rewriting my previous work on love in Telugu to get it ready for printing. At present, throughout India, the political state of affairs is very hot, because the results of all the constituencies were declared. The formation of the 12^th Lok Sabha is due. Bharatiya Janata Party, a national party, got more than 250 seats, along with its allies. It is getting ready to form the government at the center if some other members extend support to it. Congress party won 170 seats. The United Front is with its strength of 66+30 seats. Other political parties are also trying to form the government taking support from other members. However, this mid-term election did not give a complete majority to any political party, an issue of great concern to the destiny of democracy in India. Went to sleep by 9:00.

4 March (Wednesday)

Got up by 6:00. By 9:00 started to Raja Venkata Nagaram on bicycle. Spent there till 3:00 rewriting my previous work on love in Telugu. My maternal aunt Satyavathi is there at the house of her youngest sister as a guest. Returned home by 4:00. Again involved myself in rewriting my little work on love. By 5:00 went to our Panchayat office and spent there talking with my familiar ones till 7:00. From 8:00 to 10:00 spent rewriting my work on love. The improvement of this work was over by today. I like to get it printed soon. The BJP candidate, who contested from Anakapalle constituency this time, for the 12^th Lok Sabha, in whose favor I cast my vote in the recent election, has failed. The Congress candidate won this seat. The general talk in this locality is that the caste feelings in this region made him win it, ‘Narrow Domestic Walls’ in the words of Rabindranath Tagore. Democracy in India is not beyond this dangerous web of regional feelings and sentiments. Then where is space for national integration, wherein everybody thinks “Our India is Great” instead of “My Region should be Safe?” Went to bed by 10:00.

5 March (Thursday)

Got up by 6:00. Morning scanned my rewritten work on love in Telugu to rectify if any errors are still there in it. By 9:00 went to NRPM railway station on bicycle. Reached Elamanchili by 10:30 by Tirumala Express. Went to a printer and talked with him about the printing of my work on love. I knew that it costs me a lot to get it printed. I decided to withdraw myself from that endeavor because I am not financially strong now. I found another solution. Went to Bala Type Institute (where I previously learnt typewriting) and requested its master to type up this manuscript neatly on white papers in one month’s time. He agreed for it. Came back to railway station by 1:30. There was no any train in a short time. I desperately waited in the station for long. Night watched the Telugu serial “Shaanti Nivaasam” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. At the center, no political party is yet able to form the government. Such messy political scenario disturbs the careful observers of democracy in India. I hate to think of such state of affairs at the center. Should they mind sharing power among themselves carefully and tactically or about improving the fates of the people that delegated that power to them? Went to sleep by 9:00.

6 March (Friday)

Got up by 6:00. Spent at home till 12:00. Went to NRPM station by 12:30. Took Tuni-Visakhapatnam shuttle and reached our degree college by 3:00. Today we are celebrating our college anniversary. The function was started by 4:30. Firstly, P Chalapati Rao, the present M.L.A. of Elamanchili constituency, delivered his speech. Lecturers also spoke on this occasion. Prizes were distributed to the winners in various events conducted by our college on the occasion of this farewell to the third year students. Cultural activities took place after speeches. A one-hour comic stage playlet, soliloquy of the Maha Bharata character Dhuryodhana, mimicry and fashion show were there in it. The function was over by 9:30. Nearly 200 students attended this function. About 10,000 rupees were spent for this occasion from the college funds. Returned home by 10:30 by Visakhapatnam-Vijayawada passenger train. Went to sleep by 11:00.

7 March (Saturday)

Got up by 6:15. Today I am a bit uneasy due to lack of enough sleep last night. Today I spent without doing any useful work. Only 23 days are there to prepare for the annual examinations. This year I did not prepare well. I frequently postponed the dates of preparation. Classes did not go on well. Girl students are the main absentees to classes. Most of this academic year was misused because there were many holidays due to mid-term Lok Sabha Election, Janma Bhoomi works and so on. My brother Srinivas sent me 200 rupees a month for three months regularly. One month he delayed much in sending me money. It hurt me. I wrote him not to send me money any more. My father gives me 200 rupees every month for my expenses. I decided to somehow adjust with that money only. Went to sleep by 8:00.

8 March (Sunday)

Woke up by 6:00. Spent most of my time at home preparing history subject. Evening watched the Telugu feature film “Chittemma Mogudu” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. From 8:00 to 8:30 watched the Hindi program “A Tryst with the People of India” on Delhi Doordarshan. This program comments on the present condition of the common people in India in the context of 50 years of independence to India. Went to sleep by 10:30.

9 March (Monday)

Got up by 6:00. Spent all the day at home. Today I prepared from history test papers during daytime. Night watched a program on Kalapani on Delhi Doordarshan in which the prisons of Andaman and Nicobar Islands (prior to 1947) were shown. The title of this program is “A Pilgrimage to Kalapani”. The pathetic lives, led by Indian freedom fighters, arrested by the British, were clearly shown. Every prisoner was sent into a very small room (cell). They were called cellular jails. The legs and hands of the prisoners were tied together with iron fetters. They were forced to cut big trees and live in dangerous places wherein fatal creatures move about. Some prisoners committed suicides being unable to bear such cruel punishments by the British. All others were ordered to watch while a prisoner was being hanged before them. No prisoner was supposed to question the orders of the British, except undergoing them helplessly. They did not live in cells, but hell. They were all rich Indians in values back in their motherland. Nobody was there to pity their tragic lives in those dark cells by the vast sea. Went to sleep by 9:00.

10 March (Tuesday)

Got up by 6:00. Today I prepared from my history notes. My thought follows, “The most unbearable stage of any living creature’s life, especially of human beings, is old age. No that activeness, physically or mentally, which he or she enjoyed in his or her youth once. The old think that others are not paying much attention toward them, which may not be true in all the cases. They like to share their experiences with their children or grandchildren but the latter do not find any interest in such words by their old people. They wish to advise their children and grandchildren but their little ones do not care them. An old man or woman suffers more if he or she is ill or poor. Dependence and health disorders are main enemies to anybody in old age. Healthy and rich ones need not worry much about their old age. It is the dusky stage of one’s life in this beautiful world. The bodily desires are still young there in the childish mind but the delicate body bluntly refuses to perform any of those actions in reality. One must be accustomed to solitude at this stage. Ready compromise with everything at hand should be the norm of that drowsy stage of man’s journey on earth because he or she can’t live alone or revenge against others. The sleepy soul is ready to depart. So, its questioning spirit must die beforehand”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

11 March (Wednesday)

Woke up by 6:00. Prepared history subject till 10:00. Started to village Upamaka, near Nakkapalli, on bicycle, by 11:00. Reached there by 12:00. It is believed that the temple of Lord Venkateshwara over here was built some 1500 years ago. A small statue of the God is there on the hill among carved boulders. My friend and I went there and observed the beauty of the statue and the carving of rocks. I wondered at the artistic excellence of the sculptors that passed away leaving their art back in the form of this sculpture. Those days kings spent a lot of money on these art related pursuits. These temples represent the glory of art in ancient India. The ambience in and around temples creates spiritual and aesthetic notions in the minds of visitors and devotees. Night watched television for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00. 

12 March (Thursday)

Woke up by 6:00. Spent most of the day at home. By 8:00 (at night) went to the residential quarters of the staff of the Etikoppaka Cooperative Sugar Factory in Darlapudi where my school friend Datla Srinivasa Raju is presently staying. We met after a long time. We happily talked about various things. I observed that he improved much psychologically. He said that villagers can’t compete with city dwellers in terms of knowledge acquisition and competitiveness. People living in cities have many amenities within their reach. They can improve faster utilizing them. City dwellers would be dynamic and visionary in terms of their career planning and professional growth. They would have broad perspective toward human life and the world. Villagers mostly remain pessimistic and old-fashioned. They follow tradition and fear to tread the path of novelty and experimentalism. He also expressed his opinions on love. I wondered at his psychological growth. I felt proud of him. Slept there by 12:00.

13 March (Friday)

Woke up by 6:00. Reached NRPM railway station by 9:15. Knew that Tirumala Express was running late. Took a bus and reached Elamanchili by 10:00. Saw the Telugu film “Aavidaa Maa Aavide” of Nagarjuna for the second time in cinema Venkateshwara. Today I sent three competition postcards to the office of the Telugu weekly Swati in Vijayawada to participate in three contests of it. By 3:00 went to Balu Type Institute and told its master to finish typing my work on love within 20 days. He agreed for it. Took Bokaro-Alleppey Express and reached home by 4:00. By 7:00 started to Adduroad to attend the marriage of police Varma. Spent there till 11:15. The bridegroom is handsome. The bride does not suit him in that respect. Went to sleep by 12:00.

14 March (Saturday)

Woke up by 6:00. Today I am looking weak due to lack of enough sleep last night. So, I spent much of the day lying on cot. But I failed to sleep and recover myself. Night sleep suits my body and mind well. It keeps me fresh every day. Day sleep is not right to my constitution. I can’t recover by this useless stay on cot moving this side and that side. From 3:00 to 5:00 listened to Telugu and Malayalam cine songs from Sri Lanka radio station. Evening spent some time at our Panchayat office talking with my familiar ones. Night watched Telugu feature film “Naaga Jyothi” of Shobhana, known for her great dance, on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Went to sleep by 11:00.

15 March (Sunday)

Woke up by 6:00. Spent all my time at home. Evening watched Telugu feature film “Konte Kaapuram” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Thereafter watched Telugu feature film “Karthavyam” on the Satellite Channel of Hyderabad Doordarshan. The BJP party forms the government soon at the center. Went to sleep by 11:00.

16 March (Monday)

Got up by 6:00. Today I spent much of my time at our Panchayat office talking with my familiar ones. Night watched Doordarshan for some time. My thought follows, “The life of a poor man looks very light and negligible to others. Let there be praiseworthy points in his words, nobody cares for them. A poor woman’s life would be miserable if she is very beautiful. Poverty and exceptional female beauty associated with a person can seldom retain their worth in the long run. The rich and influential criminals of society exploit her based on her social or financial vulnerability. Poor husbands of very beautiful girls can do nothing to stop them from being attracted toward the tactics and the forces of the rich and the handsome in the modern cruel societies. Poverty of a beautiful girl makes her victim to the eccentricities of the rich in that society. A beautiful and innocent wife can’t be loyal to her poor and helpless husband when there are many cruel and unethical males in a society. This is one of the biggest demerits of the contemporary society showing the vulnerability of a beauty before or after her marriage. This phenomenon can be observed only in 40% of the cases in any society”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

17 March (Tuesday)

Got up by 6:00. All the day spent within the village. Morning prepared lunch at home. Spent some time at our Panchayat office. Night watched two Telugu weekly serials on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Today, Atal Bihari Vajpayee, a bachelor, has become the leader of the newly formed government of India. I felt happy to know this. It is evident today to every conscious citizen of India that a country known for its glorious culture for ages is filled with corruption, injustice and so many other unwanted elements. We know that this single man can’t uproot them. But he is an expert in politics and has a clean background as a person also. Today India needs such great man’s leadership toward 21^st century. The only regrettable point is that his party does not have complete majority. They formed the government taking support from some regional parties. He is a good man. So, we should be happy to find him as our prime minister. Let him keep his good name in his new role also. Went to sleep by 9:00.

18 March (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. From 5:30 to 6:00 watched “Aaraadhana”, the program of devotional songs, on Delhi Doordarshan. Most of the time spent at home. From 3:00 to 5:00 listened to Telugu and Malayalam cine songs from Sri Lanka radio station. Night watched “Chithra Haar” on Delhi Doordarshan. From today onwards the tenth standard public examinations go on. I knew that Padmaja and Sowjanya, my sisters-in-law from Molleru Mallavaram, take their exams at Luthern High School, in Peddapuram, in East Godavari district. Tenth standard plays an important role in one’s student life in the Indian context of educational system. Up to this level, a student, in general, knows very little about his or her life and the importance of education in human life. Hereafter one needs to take wise decisions minding one’s graph of course of studies aiming at bright future. One must be careful in one’s studies because there is cutthroat competition everywhere. Pass marks in one’s studies won’t be enough for progress toward great life. Merit and ranks are the order of the day. Went to sleep by 9:00.

19 March (Thursday)

Got up by 5:00. From 5:30 to 6:00 watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Went to Elamanchili by 10:00 by Tirumala Express. Today I saw the Telugu film “Raaja Hamsa” of Abbas and Sakshi Sivanand. They represent youth and their energy. I wonder to find the word ‘exposure’ in the context of Telugu films. Some viewers say that in a particular film exposure is very much and so that film failed. The interesting point is if a beautiful girl conventionally spends her life at home with her family, she remains a parasite upon her parents or husband. Her physical beauty is dedicated to her husband only. No surety that her husband’s love is completely being offered to her only because she is living in a world of hypocrisy and immorality. Let an attractive girl expose her physical beauty in films for her mad viewers and earn money! She can be financially strong and happy. It is not a crime. This is what the present young and intelligent film actresses are doing. They miss good husband and reliable and appreciable family life later because many don’t have good opinion on film actresses. To gain something one must lose many things. They are losing all the other things for fame and money. They are top priorities for them. Let them be so. Returned home by 4:00 by Tirumala Express. Went to sleep by 9:00.

20 March (Friday)

Got up by 6:00. All the day spent at home. From 10:00 to 11:00 taught a bit of English grammar to one of my familiar villagers. Today I received a letter from my Junior College Telugu Lecturer Yandamoori Narasimha Murthy. Recently I wrote a letter to him seeking his advice on getting my small work “Pranaya Saagara Theeraalu” printed and dispatched to some literary organizations like Sahitya Academy. He wrote a good reply to me. He is presently living in Vizianagaram. He is a dedicated man to his duty and a scholar in his subject. He is an outstanding personality. He is a true example of Telugu tradition and culture though he wears trousers and shirt. He is an idealist. His teaching was gripping. Night watched Telugu cine songs on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Went to sleep by 9:00.

21 March (Saturday)

Got up by 5:00. All the day spent within the village. Morning and evening listened to cine songs on radio for some time. Taught English grammar for some time to Ramu, the younger brother of our present village president Daraboina Krishna. Spent some time at our Panchayat office. Spent for more than five hours sitting alone in the front side of our rented house watching the hot weather and villagers on their way to well for drinking water. Night watched the Hindi serial “Manash” on Delhi Doordarshan for some time. Thereafter watched part of the Telugu feature film “Podharillu” on the Satellite Channel of Hyderabad Doordarshan. Then watched the Hindi feature film “Waqt Hamara Hai” on Delhi Doordarshan for some time. Went to sleep by 10:30.

22 March (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Spent all my time at home. Morning watched “Rangoli” and “Sri Krishna” programs on Delhi Doordarshan. Afternoon spent some time listening to cine songs on radio. Evening watched Telugu feature film “Samaram” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Went to sleep by 9:00.

23 March (Monday)

Woke up by 5:00. By 8:00 went to Adduroad to buy a wall clock to present as a gift to a newly married couple in our village. From 10:00 to 2:00 spent at our Panchayat office. Afternoon went to a nearby big well to watch the swimming of our villagers in it. From 3:30 to 5:00 listened to cine songs on radio. From 7:00 to 8:30 watched Doordarshan. My thought follows, “Infatuation is a feeling of attraction toward the people of opposite gender without rationality. Every healthy person possesses this characteristic. We fall in love with the beauty or other attractive quality of some people immediately. We can’t forget them easily. We attach ourselves to them internally though we act differently in the society. It remains a sweet passion as long as we don’t cross the border of social norms and codes of ethics. It makes one dream and roam in a world of fantasies. It provides psychological relief. Every human being lives happily as long as he or she possesses this quality. It compels one to do something with the other one. One should act very carefully if wild admiration and attachment develops in one toward others in course of time”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

24 March (Tuesday)

Got up by 5:15. Morning watched Doordarshan for some time. Afternoon spent some time at our Panchayat office. From 3:00 to 5:00 listened to Telugu and Malayalam cine songs from Sri Lanka radio station. Night watched two Telugu serials on Hyderabad Doordarshan. My thought follows, “The lives of the poorest of the poor in any country are very pathetic to witness or describe. They struggle for their existence daily. I think they are the most cursed elements of this universe to remain far away from the joys of humanity. They can visualize fantastic lives but can hardly live so. Their lives are known for compliance and ignorance. They constitute major part of world population. They are kind but nobody acknowledges or appreciates the gestures of their generosity toward others. They rarely commit suicides out of frustration. They seldom run away from the responsibilities of their lives. They mostly resist change and follow conventions and superstitions blindly”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

25 March (Wednesday)

Got up by 5:15. Morning watched Doordarshan for some time. Spent most of my time at our Panchayat office. Night watched “Chithra Haar” on Delhi Doordarshan. My thought follows, “I like some features in the appearance of a beautiful girl or woman. The color of the body has been playing an important role in attracting the heart of a man toward a woman for long. The facial beauty is undoubtedly the most tempting feature of a woman. They look very attractive from 10 to 50 if they can manage their health and wealth carefully. In their teenage, they look more attractive. This is the time when many males admire them. But they marry some other creatures and these entities regret their lives for some time. Females, with exceptional physical beauty, are the most tempting element of this world created by God for man”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

26 March (Thursday)

Got up by 5:30. All the day spent within the village. From 2:00 to 3:00 spent at our Panchayat office. From 3:00 to 5:00 listened to cine songs on radio. Night watched two Telugu serials on Hyderabad Doordarshan. My thought follows, “Health is an important asset to be considered and taken care of by every human being. Now it is quite evident that about 60% of the population is suffering from some kind of disease or disorder. No quality in food items. No honesty in most of the present doctors. They earn money in any way. The quality of treatment depends on the financial and social status of the patient at hand. Very few doctors work on humanitarian grounds in testing times of a patient’s life in their hands. To add to this, most of the population is illiterate and superstitious, and so ignorant of good habits. Educated ones also have their rich bad habits. The poor often fear to consult a doctor. Their ignorance and stupidity often lands them in hardships and deaths”. Went to sleep by 8:30.

27 March (Friday)

Got up by 5:15. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. All the day spent at home. Spent talking with my friends for some time. From 3:00 to 5:00 listened to Telugu and Malayalam cine songs from Sri Lanka radio station. From 7:30 to 8:30 watched the live telecast of “Vote of Confidence Session in Lok Sabha” on Delhi Doordarshan. My thought follows, “Admiration of beauty is a common phenomenon in every nation. Beauty has such power of attraction. Creative people mostly belong to this category of admirers. They add beauty and life to a piece of art applying their creativity. A great piece of art attracts the hearts of observers within seconds even if they are not familiar with that field of art”. Went to sleep by 8:30.

28 March (Saturday)

Got up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. All the day spent at home. From 8:00 to 12:00 played the domestic game “Astaa Chemma”. From 3:00 to 5:00 listened to Telugu and Malayalam cine songs from Sri Lanka radio station. Night watched Doordarshan for some time. My thought follows, “Devotion toward God increases when man keeps his attachment with the earthly beings or things at the minimum level. Man leads helpless life from his birth to death being guided by an invisible force. He can’t reduce or extend his life according to his will. Knowing all this, a man immerses and engages himself in endless desires and efforts for achieving earthly things and goals. Thus God keeps humanity away from Him to maintain the number of His real devotees always at a lower level”. Went to sleep by 9:00. By 12:00 at night it rained and blest breezes to our dry bodies.

29 March (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Today “Ugadi” (the first day of Telugu New Year) is being celebrated in our state. Morning went to Elamanchili by Tirumala Express to attend a work of mine. Evening watched the Telugu feature film “Joker” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Went to sleep by 10:00.

30 March (Monday)

Got up by 5:00. Today it is the first day of Telugu Year Bahu Dhaanya Naama. By 10:00 started to Nakkapalli on bicycle and reached there by 11:00. There my task was to record the content of my little work in Telugu “Pranaya Saagara Teeraalu” into an audiocassette, reading it myself. There was power cut from 11:00 to 5:00 in Nakkapalli. I spent these five hours simply sitting and waiting for the power at Sai Electronics audio store. Started reading this book and recording it from 5:10. It went on till 8:30. I spoke some English words also after recording the Telugu content. Then I got five Telugu cine songs recorded in the last part of the second recorded audiocassette. He charged 70 rupees for recording these two audiocassettes. I felt very happy to record my voice for the first time. Returned home by 10:00. Had a bath and supper. Went to sleep by 11:00.

31 March (Tuesday)

Got up by 5:30. By 8:30 started to Nakkapalli on bicycle. Paid the balance amount of money to the owner of the audio store where I got my audio recording done yesterday. Returned home by 9:30. From 10:00 to 2:30 corrected the typed version of “Pranaya Saagara Teeraalu”, my small work on love in Telugu. The typing and audio recording of this written work are over by today. I like to send this to some Indian literary competitions such as of Madras Telugu Academy. Still there is time for it. From 3:00 to 5:00 listened to Telugu and Malayalam cine songs from Sri Lanka radio station. From 6:00 to 8:15 listened to the two audiocassettes recently got recorded by me at Nakkapalli. I found that the recording came well. I used the tape recorder of teacher Varma in our village for this purpose. I am grateful to him for it. Had a bath and supper by 9:00. I spent this month with much entertainment. My prayers to Lord Gopal and Mother Saraswati. Went to sleep by 9:30.

1 April (Wednesday)

Got up by 5:30. My hearty welcome to the month of April! Today I prepared essay type questions and answers from my history notes. My thought follows, “I wonder to find the devotion of some people toward God. The activities they do in their real lives are evil and sinful. I don’t think offering some flowers and fruit or intoning some slokaas or mantras can be true worship to God. A devotee of God should spend a disciplined and virtuous life. One should have a pure mind and helping nature toward the helpless. Devotion toward God requires one to be sincere in majority of one’s acts as a person and professional. A devotee of God must wholeheartedly desire that the society around him should also be happy and prosperous. Human societies can be happy if everybody follows the principles of devotion toward God in a realistic and dedicated manner”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

2 April (Thursday)

Got up by 5:15. Today I prepared short notes from my history notebook. Night watched Doordarshan for some time. My thought follows, “Let me write a little about the human relations in the present societies. When an old family member is alive, his relatives do not value him much. Nobody cares him. He is like an unwanted object in their house. When he dies, all his family members sit around his corpse and cry with sad faces. He could not get a bit of affection from his kith and kin when he was alive but he could gather many people after his death around his dead body. So, an old man or woman’s existence in a family sphere on this earth is a hell in itself. Internally they invite demise but it delays its arrival for some more days and nights and teases the painful spirit of the old. Pure affection among the family members adds beauty and value to a family unit. When that quality is missing or lost, it is no more a family in the real sense of the term”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

3 April (Friday)

Got up by 5:15. All the day spent at home preparing objective type questions and answers of history subject. Night watched “Chithra Lahari” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. My thought follows, “I am worried to find the present trend of leakage of examination papers at all levels. It signifies the declining academic and moral values of the Indian society day by day. Selfishness became a common quality of every human being. Man’s ambition to reach great levels of success and fame faster, without much individual effort, is prompting him to such mean things. Lazy students and dishonest teachers don’t worry much about this trend but a number of hard-working and intelligent students are suffering a lot due to postponement of examinations. The determination and enthusiasm of a student, which can be found during his or her first time preparation for the examinations, gets lost due to postponement of exams. When it comes to examinations, the intelligent seldom desire leakage of question papers. These unhealthy trends make people hate the studies and examinations of their children. When values and standards are lost in the educational system of a nation, the foolish dictate terms to the intelligent and thus the society degenerates into mayhem”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

4 April (Saturday)

Got up by 5:30. Today I recited five essay type questions and answers of economics subject. My thought follows, “The life of an ordinary woman on this earth, especially in corrupt and poor countries like India, is pathetic in reality. Almost at every stage and step of her life, she plays the role of a servant to her family members and societal heads being a parasite on their kindness and generosity to feed herself. It is not applicable to financially or intellectually rich women of the society. The appreciable trend of the modernity, especially in the urban societies and work places, is the entry of women. They question the superiority of man. It can be said to be a small progressive change in relation to some modern and educated ones only”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

5 April (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:30. Started to our mango garden at hills by 10:00 on bicycle. Spent there till 5:00 preparing economics subject at the house of my uncle Narayana Murthy. From 8:00 to 8:30 watched the Hindi program “A Tryst with the People of India” on Delhi Doordarshan. My salutes to Lord Gopal. Went to sleep by 9:00.

6 April (Monday)

Got up by 5:15. Today I prepared short questions and answers from my economics notes. Night slept in the moonlight. I am afraid that the dew that falls during last part of night may affect my health. My thought follows, “In general, a millionaire represents richness. But what I find is that behind the luxury and comfort of every aristocrat, there is much toil and contribution of the poor. But every rich man doesn’t or cannot understand the difficult lives of the destitute. He or she considers them their slaves and recipients of their orders time to time. Generosity seldom meets richness. Only selfishness can take one toward richness and one should be even more selfish to retain that wealth thereafter. So, generosity lies with the simple and the poor. These differences between the poor and the rich continue forever. Only then the nature and future of the world can be beautiful and enjoyable for all”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

7 April (Tuesday)

Got up by 5:20. Today I prepared short questions and answers from my economics notebook. From 8:00 to 9:00 listened to cine songs on radio. Evening spent some time at our Panchayat office. My thought follows, “There is no end point in the domain of dissemination or acquisition of knowledge in this world. It can’t be gathered or remembered by a man or woman unless he or she has burning curiosity for it and pursues it with great effort. Advanced knowledge makes one a complete and fruitful man. One’s outlook and behavior should get reformed after acquisition of knowledge. Otherwise there is no use of acquiring or possessing such knowledge. Great knowledge can be achieved by extensively reading books of various fields, visiting a number of nearer and farther places and through discussions and familiarity with the intelligentsia of the contemporary society. For all that to happen, good health and enough money are also needed for one. One cannot or should not say that one knows all. One’s lifetime is not enough to become perfect in every branch of knowledge or experiences of life. Death is the universal enemy to such extensive knowledge seekers in this material world”. Went to sleep by 11:00.

8 April (Wednesday)

Got up by 5:20. All the day spent within the village. Much of the time prepared objective type questions and answers of economics subject. Evening spent some time at our Panchayat office. Night watched “Chithra Haar” on Delhi Doordarshan. Night talked with Anantha Varma, the brother of my friend Sekhar. My thought follows, “Who is a wise and lucky person in this world? Who can answer this small but complicated question? I think one who enjoyed one’s life the most (practicing the moral principles of human life in a civilized society) in accordance with his or her age and limitations. Every stage of human life has peculiarity in it and does not return once over. So, a man or woman must realize the importance of time and utilize it well for his or her improvement and happiness. Satisfaction and joy go together. Dissatisfaction and greatness go together. The prior enjoys his or her life well and the latter earns a lot of fame and recognition within a short time. One should balance both very strategically. Considerable development can’t be achieved without a burning desire and unyielding effort for it. In some cases, one can become a great man or woman with hardly any effort by him or her. Everybody should not desire to belong to that category of people. God is not that kind or foolish to put everybody in that class of special people of the world. Good character adds value to one’s life. Everybody can achieve it with a little effort. So, everybody should try this simple way to live happily in the contemporary society”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

9 April (Thursday)

Got up by 5:00. Today I prepared essay type questions and answers from my political science notebook. Night listened to cine songs on radio. My thought follows, “The creation of human body by God is a unique subject matter. Every living being needs food. Food contributes to the growth of body. The energized body with food works to earn money to buy food. Since food is essential to survive, every living creature gets engaged in some effort to achieve it. The poor spend much of their energy in their efforts to earn food. It is not the case with the rich. They want luxuries of various kinds. They need a lot of money to get them. So, they are also engaged in various efforts to meet their needs. Human body is a great wonder when we observe its parts, their position and the vital duties they carry out daily. A dead body becomes a skeleton in ten days if left somewhere and frightens others but the same body is a center of many desires and attractions when there is a soul in it. Thus God’s creation seems to be a bundle of challenges and mysteries left open to be explored and wondered at by man”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

10 April (Friday)

Got up by 5:00. Today I prepared essay type questions and answers from my political science notebook lying on cot. Evening prepared supper at home. From 7:00 to 9:00 listened to cine songs on radio. Some nights, I can’t sleep immediately after I lie down on cot. When the setting is silent, my mind becomes peaceful and various thoughts flow in it endlessly. I want to control them and sleep but it seems impossible for me for some time. Now and then these thoughts run for two or three hours continuously. The same happened this night. I could not sleep till 12:00. I watched a small part of the Hindi feature film “Mr. Bechara” on Delhi Doordarshan One to avoid that hell of current of thoughts in my brain for some time. My Lord Gopal was kind to me and put me to sleep in some time. Thank you dear God for your compassion toward me. Went to sleep by 12:30.

11 April (Saturday)

Got up by 5:00. Today I prepared short questions and answers from my political science notebook. Morning and evening prepared food at home. Night watched Doordarshan for some time. My thought follows, “Generally tradition and modernity seem to be angry enemies to each other. They never compromise with one another. I think tradition means a blind observance of some beliefs and ideologies set by our ancestors and visionaries. It flows on from generation to generation. It keeps man confined to some rules and regulations when in the society. Modernity demands rational and scientific proofs for every belief and practice. It questions and investigates into everything before accepting it. One must have a broad outlook to be called modern. People following modernity should be more daring and challenging than the ones that follow tradition. For traditionalists, the path was already laid out. They have to simply walk on it. For modernists, no path is laid out by others. So, they must develop their road and walk on it cautiously”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

12 April (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:30. Today I prepared political science subject. Afternoon and evening went out to attend a few works of mine. Evening watched part of the Telugu feature film “Pattindhallaa Bangaarame” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. My salutes to Lord Gopal. Went to sleep by 9:00.

13 April (Monday)

Got up by 5:00. Today I prepared objective type questions and answers of political science subject. Evening watched Doordarshan and night listened to cine songs on radio for entertainment. Today some cruel villager has wounded our pet dog. Perhaps it must have eaten something like a thief entering somebody’s house. So, he or she (unknown identity) has shot a sharp knife at it. It hit it on its left hind leg. It is suffering a lot because the cut went deep and touched its bone. Its bleeding leg is virtually hanging with a weak support from the bone. It is an innocent and voiceless creature suffering internally. Only God can console its troubled heart inside. May God bless a speedy recovery to it. He is the universal caretaker of all the helpless creatures on this earth. Went to sleep by 10:00.

14 April (Tuesday)

Got up by 5:00. Today I prepared from the test papers of “Indian Heritage and Culture” subject. Today I enter my 21^st year, as my date of birth is 14 April, 1978, according to my educational certificates. Night watched Doordarshan for some time. My thought follows, “I wonder to find the external beauty of some creatures like parrot, peacock, dove, crow, sparrow, jackal, squirrel, camel, tiger, leopard, bear and so on. Man is a wise creature on earth. So, he is aware of the ways of keeping himself attractive by bathing daily, combing his hair, wearing beautiful clothes, applying some fairness cream or talcum powder on his face and so on. But these aforesaid creatures always look beautiful, even to the eyes of artists, though they rarely bathe, never comb their bodies nor use toilet soaps and fairness creams. They simply entertain us with their innocent looks and attractive acts. Their daily search for food and going to their sleeping abodes by night seems to be an interesting story altogether. I think the tricky God is taking care of their visible beauty in an invisible form to humans. These are all the rich assets of His beautiful nature. Their lifestyles are quite interesting to man. The poor man would have died centuries ago if they were not around to show him the core of pure affection and enticing innocence. May God protect them”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

15 April (Wednesday)

Got up by 4:30. Today I prepared Hindi subject. By 6:00 started to Adduroad on bicycle and had my haircut there. Returned home by 7:00. My thought follows, “A kind heart is a great asset of any human being on earth. Their words and acts form the important part of human values. One need not always spend money to be kind to others. If a dog is suffering from a severe wound caused by a road accident, one says, “Oh my God! Save the dog”. The second one goes to it and extends some help to alleviate its pain. The third one takes it to a hospital and gets it medically treated. Thereafter he leaves it somewhere. The fourth one takes it to his home after the treatment and looks after it until its wound is cured. There are degrees of compassion one extends toward others. In the above description, the last one is the first ranker in the hypothetical test of compassion. We should not expect everybody to be like him. Great people are always very rare in every society”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

16 April (Thursday)

Got up by 5:00. From 5:30 to 6:00 watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Today I prepared Hindi subject. Evening and night watched Doordarshan for some time. My thought follows, “I observe many people gathering at temples on some auspicious occasions to specially worship their favorite gods and goddesses. I don’t know if all these worshippers are a bit pure in their personal lives. How many of them can show a bit of love and care toward the poor and their neighbors! These frequent visitors to temples, speakers on religious issues and great writers in the domain of spiritualism appear pious to the outside observers. In reality, very few of them practice what they spoke or wrote about. Some devotees are criminals and sinners, I state. They don’t fear to go to God along with their personal history of immoral and criminal acts. No God hears their prayers. Holy places get polluted with the presence of these detestable brutes and culprits of the society”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

17 April (Friday)

Got up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Today I prepared Hindi subject. Evening watched Doordarshan for some time. Night also did the same till 8:30. My thought follows, “The development of a nation depends on the constructive and patriotic contribution of its people to the larger goals of the government, committed working nature of its bureaucracy, ideal services of its lawmakers and the executives associated with those implementations. But man becomes lazy in his duties once a comfortable public position is assigned to him, being crazy about all other things of his personal life. In every society, only a few people come forward to do something good for the society and bad people discourage them at that level itself. The ones in higher governmental positions never formulate effective and revolutionary acts to cleanse the evil practices of the people and develop the society in a right and faster way. Solidarity and collective spirit generally develop in human hearts along with the words “I, my and our”. In this context, patriotism in the modern societies is a vague concept. This is why many societies and nations remain underdeveloped for long”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

18 April (Saturday)

Got up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. By 10:00, Datla Srinivasa Raju, my school friend in Gollalagunta, presently working at the Etikoppaka Cooperative Sugar Factory as an apprentice, came to our house from Darlapudi. He is basically from village Kasireddi Palem in our district to which my paternal grandmother Lakshmi Narasayyamma also belongs. The latter stopped going to that village of her parents after a few years after her marriage. I regret it. I spent talking with him till 3:00. Now I am devotedly preparing for my annual examinations. His arrival to our house to see me during this time can be said to be a considerable inconvenience to my studies but I do/should not take it in that spirit. Today I could prepare English subject for four hours only. Went to bed by 9:00 but could sleep only by 10:00.

19 April (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Rangoli” and “Sri Krishna” programs on Delhi Doordarshan. Evening watched the Telugu feature film “Nyaayaaniki Sankellu” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Thereafter watched the Hindi programs “A Tryst with the People of India” and “Mirza Ghalib” on Delhi Doordarshan. Today I prepared English subject. Went to sleep by 9:00.

20 April (Monday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning prepared English subject for some time. Got ready and went to NRPM railway station by 9:15. Tirumala Express arrived by 10:00. Detrained at Elamanchili and went to our degree college. Knew that Intermediate (the title of 10+2 course in the educational system of Andhra Pradesh) examinations are going on in the rooms of junior college because of which even the degree college students are not being allowed to the office of the degree college which is in the premises of junior college. Waited outside junior college till 12:00 and then went to the office of our degree college. Collected my hall ticket, which authorizes me to take the first year B.A. examinations along with other students. This academic year the annual examinations of First Year B.A. take place from 24^th April to 4^th May. It is a hot and late time for examinations in our context. Came back to railway station by 1:00 and caught Bokaro-Alleppey Express. Reached home by 1:30. Rested for some time. Then prepared English subject. Went to sleep by 9:00.

21 April (Tuesday)

Got up by 5:00. Today I prepared English subject for about eight hours. Today my uncle Varma came to our house. My thought follows, “There is much difference between theory and practice. A man can express his sorrow at the pitiable condition of a creature but he can’t help it in action for various reasons. Expression of a few words is very easy and comfortable to do but any useful action is hard to be practiced by anybody, especially during pathetic and terrific conditions of our society or nation. A speaker can talk a lot about many contemporary issues while on stage observing many silent listeners before him but he can do nothing if a danger takes place on the spot in helping some people at least. Brave people or the related professionals can attend such things immediately and efficiently. Following even a single virtue sincerely throughout one’s life is a great challenge in itself to one. So, words and actions don’t go together in many occasions of human life. At the same time, a few inspiring words can also motivate the society or the nation toward the execution or achievement of great things in a short time. It means that everything can’t be achieved by actions only. So, both words and actions are important in a society. They should be optimally utilized, based on the context and need of the hour. One can’t keep every word given to everybody in one’s familiarity. So, one need not bother much at such trifles of human life”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

22 April (Wednesday)

Got up by 5:00. Today my maternal uncle Varma left for Gollalagunta. Today I prepared English subject for about seven hours. There are four texts of English in our first year B.A. course. They are: A Collection of Essays, the main text, in which there are twelve lessons; The Magic of the Muse, an anthology of poems compiled by L S R Krishna Sastry, Professor of English, Andhra University, Visakhapatnam; The Path of Glory, the non-detailed text, in which there are six lessons describing the lives of six noble personalities in the world and A Grammar of English, prepared by T Vasu Deva Reddy, Reader in English, Sri Venkateshwara University, Tirupati. These four texts share the rights for providing marks to the first year degree students in English. Night watched “Chithra Haar” on Delhi Doordarshan. Went to sleep by 9:00.

23 April (Thursday)

Got up by 5:00. Today I prepared English subject. My thought follows, “The world of a poor man is very little to a large extent. He lives in a small society. Perhaps he can be a master to his family. He is the recipient of orders from the socially and economically strong people in the contemporary society he is living in. The world of luxuries stays miles away from him. His wife should be a divine creature for his helpless life of admiration of female beauty. He can’t attract other women toward him spending some money on that costly project. He should seek the fulfillment of his life in seeing that his children are brought up properly until they are married. After that he has to depend on the minimal care of his children and the helpless love of his wife. His is a story of difficulties and pain involving various phases of hardships he underwent till his death. His children and relatives forget him soon after his death because he left very few assets for them behind him. He has very few well-wishers in his active life because he can’t help others due to his penury”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

24 April (Friday)

Woke up by 12:15 a.m. and tried to sleep. I could not sleep at all despite my best effort. Got out of the cot by 2:00 and got ready fast. Reached NRPM railway station by 3:45. Tirupati-Howrah Express had just left the station. Took the following train Godavari Express by 5:20. Reached the temple of Lord Anjaneya Swamy in Elamanchili by 6:00. Scanned the material of English and moved to the examination hall. It went on from 8:00 to 11:00. I did well in the examination because the question paper was quite easy for me. Returned home by 1:30 by Visakhapatnam-Tuni shuttle train. Prepared Hindi subject for four hours. Evening it was windy and cloudy hinting rain. Went to sleep by 9:00.

25 April (Saturday)

Woke up by 2:30. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 3:30. Caught Tirupati-Howrah Express. It (third-class passenger coach) was completely filled with passengers. There was no room even to stand up properly. Meanwhile diarrhoea developed in me. Had a small glass of decoction of tea and four unripe bananas aiming at its immediate cure. Luckily it stopped bothering me. Scanned the material of Hindi subject for two hours sitting at the temple of Lord Anjaneya and proceeded to the examination room. Did well in the examination. Today I took four additional answer sheets. Returned home by 1:15 by Visakhapatnam-Tuni shuttle train. During the daytime prepared from the test papers of “Indian Heritage and Culture” subject. Night watched Telugu news on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Went to sleep by 8:00.

26 April (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:30. Spent all my time at home. Morning watched “Rangoli” and “Sri Krishna” programs on Delhi Doordarshan. Today I prepared “Indian Heritage and Culture” subject. My salutes to Lord Gopal and Mother Saraswati. Went to sleep by 9:00.

27 April (Monday)

Woke up by 3:15. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 4:00. Tirupati-Howrah Express had already left the station. Waited for Godavari Express. Reached the temple of Lord Anjaneya Swamy by 6:00. Scanned the test papers of “Indian Heritage and Culture” subject. The examination went on from 8:00 to 9:30. I did well in it. After the examination, I borrowed politics guide from our adjunct Politics Lecturer K V V S Lakshmi, a good girl. She is also doing her examinations in the same room along with me. May God bless her good marks and a happy life. Came back to railway station by 11:00. Visakhapatnam-Tuni shuttle arrived by 12:10. Had my lunch and rested for some time. Thereafter prepared objective type questions and answers of political science subject. My prayers to Lord Gopal and Mother Saraswati to give me a sharp brain. Went to sleep by 9:00.

28 April (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. All the day spent at home and prepared political science subject. My thought follows, “I have noticed that the present human society has deteriorated to nasty state of affairs. People talk about great things in public places but do immoral and filthy acts in their personal lives. Bachelorhood and spinsterhood are dirty words used by hypocrites to be treated as special creatures by others. Men and women became pigs and dogs in their sexual desires and activities. ‘Life is yours and so enjoy it like a brute’ is the policy of today’s man. For development of unethical affairs and the related wild enjoyments, no standards, caste, religion, race or language can be obstructions. But Indian culture does not approve a man or woman marrying somebody from other caste or religion. India is a nation of hidden evil and terrible hypocrisy in this context. I don’t like it”. Went to sleep by 8:00.

29 April (Wednesday)

Got up by 4:00. All the day spent at home and prepared political science subject. My thought follows, “The beauty of nature is open to one and all to enjoy. The pervasive moonlight on a full moon day in winter witnessed in the cozy company of one’s sweetheart; the refreshing breezes by seashore in summer; the occurrence of heavy rain when two young lovers are far away from the disturbance of others where they can enjoy bathing together in the open, half or full nakedly, depending on their emotions and passions of absolute privacy; a passionate peacock dancing at the foot of a mountain range inviting his beloved to enjoy the cloudy weather hinting the rain soon; the seductive fragrance of jasmines spreading from the wealth of wavy black hair of a pretty girl passing by us on a late night after the second show film (in the Indian context around midnight); I don’t like to miss them”. Went to sleep by 8:00.

30 April (Thursday)

Woke up by 3:45. Got ready hastily and reached NRPM station by 4:30. Godavari Express arrived by 5:15. Detrained at Elamanchili and moved to the temple of Lord Hanuman. Scanned my political science notebook. Today I did my political science paper in a satisfactory way. It is one of my group subjects and contributes towards getting a first class if good marks are achieved in it. Came back to railway station soon and caught Visakhapatnam-Tuni shuttle. Prepared history subject from the test papers and my notebook in a fast way till 8:00. My thought follows, “Art demands creativity and extraordinary imaginative skills from a person. One can’t become a great artist by one’s efforts. For example, a sweet voice is a God’s gift and one can’t become a great singer by practice if one has a rough voice. Only a few arts can be leant by one’s dedication and practice. Music is an example for it. A famous artist can live happily with many fans after him and their constant encouragement to him which helps him further excel in his art field. But the old age is a curse even to them. They turn morose recollecting their past glory and mostly lead passive lives at this stage”. Went to sleep by 8:00.

1 May (Friday)

Woke up by 2:00 welcoming the hottest month of Indian summer. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 3:20. Scanned the maps of history subject for some time at station. Tirupati-Howrah Express arrived by 3:45. Reached the temple of Lord Hanuman in Elamanchili by 5:00. Observing some disturbance there, I changed my venue of preparation to Ghantasala Kala Mandir beside public library. Scanned my history notebook for some time and moved to degree college by 7:30. Today the history paper was very tough and so many students crossed (not attempting the paper at all. They do it in the following examinations to get good marks) their papers. But I wrote down soon whatever I knew. I hate the practice of crossing papers and keeping them for the second attempt. I like to clear every subject in the first attempt itself. I don’t mind getting low marks if the paper is tough. Returned home by 1:00 by Visakhapatnam-Tuni shuttle train. Spent rest of the day preparing objective type questions and answers of economics subject. Night watched Telugu cine songs on Doordarshan for relieving myself from the stress of examinations. Went to sleep by 9:30.

2 May (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:10. From 6:00 to 6:00 prepared from my economics notebook. Night watched Doordarshan for some time. My eyes went deep and my body became weak due to continuous preparation and abnormality in eating food. My thought follows, “The behavior of some pets such as hen, cock, dog and cow often surprises me. A hen roams about here and there and comes to her master’s house to lay her egg down from its belly. A cock awakes his neighborhood by his loud call in the early morning. A dog follows his master in a friendly manner wherever he or she goes. A cow calls her master to free her from the log for grazing”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

3 May (Sunday)

Woke up by 4:30. Prepared economics subject from 6:00 to 3:30. Morning watched “Sri Krishna” program on Delhi Doordarshan. Evening watched the Telugu feature film “Aalu Magalu” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. My salutes to Lord Gopal and Mother Saraswati. Went to sleep by 8:00.

4 May (Monday)

Woke up by 2:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 3:20. Tirupati-Howrah Express arrived by 3:30. Reached Elamanchili by 4:00. Scanned objective type questions and answers from the test papers of economics subject till 5:00. From 5:30 to 7:30 skimmed my economics notebook and proceeded to the examination room. I did the economics paper in a satisfactory way. My hall ticket number is A98140064. On the happy occasion of end of the annual examinations, saw the Telugu film “Suswaagatham” in cinema Venkateshwara. Came back to railway station by 2:00. Reached home by 4:00 by Tirumala Express. Watched Doordarshan for some time. Anyhow I did my first year B.A. examinations well. This academic year I opened my books seriously 20 days before the examinations. I was scared to take the examinations with that little preparation but I did well in them by the grace of Lord Gopal and Mother Saraswati. My salutes to Lord Ganesh for directing me without obstacles in my way of preparing for and taking these examinations. Went to sleep by 9:00.

5 May (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 7:00. Took Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger and reached Visakhapatnam by 9:30. Took a city bus and proceeded toward Siripuram Junction. Thence walked up to the N.S.S. Office in Andhra University campus and met Sampath Kumar, the N.S.S. Program Coordinator. Gave my write-up in Telugu on love to him and told him to go ahead with it. Thereafter went to the Institute of Indo American Hotel Management and collected some information for my brother-in-law Raja of Molleru Mallavaram. Then had my lunch for four rupees and walked toward cinema Jagadamba. Saw the Hindi film “Pyar Kiya To Darna Kya” of Salman Khan and Kajol in cinema Sharada. Came back to railway station on foot crossing various roads and covering a distance of about four kilometers. Caught Visakhapatnam-Kakinada passenger and reached home by 9:45. Felt exhausted due to much walk in the city. Went to sleep by 10:30.

6 May (Wednesday)

Got up by 5:00. Started to NRPM railway station by 7:40 and caught Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger. Detrained at Elamanchili and spent loitering about here and there for some time. From 11:00 to 1:00 pursued an interesting discussion with Sistla Venkata Rao, an ardent lover of Telugu literature, at his home by station road, regarding my work “Pranaya Saagara Teeraalu”. He said that my writing can’t be named in any way. It can be considered as a long essay on love. He added that these days there is no space for long essays. An essay should be limited to three or four pages. But my essay runs to 32 pages. He said that my essay is not fit to be sent to any literary competition. He is a great person of simplicity and literary genius. He has many books in his room. I met him on the advice of my Junior College Telugu Lecturer Y Narasimha Murthy (who has recently replied me in response to my letter to him) of Vizianagaram. Returned home by 4:30 by Tirumala Express. Night watched Doordarshan for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00.

7 May (Thursday)

Got up by 4:30. Started to our mango garden by hills by 6:00 on our short bicycle. There I collected Maredu Dalam from those plants (holy leaves for Hindu worship offered to Lord Shiva because they are His most favorite leaves expected from devotees). Returned home by 8:00. From 8:00 to 10:00 listened to cine songs on radio. From 12:00 to 1:00 watched a small part of a Telugu feature film on the Satellite Channel of Hyderabad Doordarshan. From 3:00 to 5:00 listened to cine songs on radio. Night my parents and my brother Sambha went to Peda Gummuluru to attend the work of Shankhu Sthaapana (an auspicious act performed by Hindus under the guidance of a priest before starting the work for construction of a building) for building a house there soon for us. They will attend that ceremony in the early hours of tomorrow morning. So, night I was left alone at our house. From 7:30 to 9:00 listened to cine songs on radio. My thought follows, “Sleeping alone, even at one’s own house, without anybody around, during night, is a difficult situation to be faced. One can sleep happily even if an unfamiliar fellow is sleeping by. While alone on bed, during night, trying to sleep somehow, even small sounds of rats, pets or the movement of the leaves of trees around, due to air, assume the positions of frightening creatures or objects. One can’t sleep easily in such circumstances”. Went to sleep by 9:15.

8 May (Friday)

Got up by 4:30. From 8:00 to 10:00 listened to cine songs on radio. Afternoon watched a small part of the Telugu feature film “Champion” on the Satellite Channel of Hyderabad Doordarshan. By 3:30 went to Peda Gummuluru on bicycle to water the small cement construction of Shankhu Sthaapana, which was erected there this morning. Returned home by 4:30. When I was coming back to our house, riding my bicycle fast, both the wheels of my bicycle crossed a hastily road crossing snake. It was about five feet long and considerably fat. I could not apply the brakes of my bicycle quickly to avoid the snake coming across me. I was hurrying to our house and it was hurrying to reach the safer zone on the other side of the road. Both of us were speedy in our respective short journeys to our destinations. There is a Hindu belief that an injured snake waits to revenge against its enemy some day or night. But what can I do? All that occurred in a matter of seconds. Both of us are criminals. So, there is no need of revenge. May God bless it. Night watched Telugu cine songs on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Went to sleep by 8:30.

9 May (Saturday)

Got up by 4:30. Morning listened to cine songs on radio for some time. Reached Raja Venkata Nagaram by 10:30 on bicycle and spent at the house of my uncle Rama Raju till 5:00. I taught Hindi to my cousin Vasu for some time. Afternoon we had cool juice of palm nuts. I felt happy and cool after this pursuit. Returned home by 6:00. Night watched “Chithra Lahari” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Also watched a small part of the Telugu feature film “Ramalayam” on the Satellite Channel of Hyderabad Doordarshan. Today it is the 137^th birth anniversary of the famous Indian poet Rabindranath Tagore. His life is an example to be followed by everybody. His poetry is splendid. May God send such unique personalities onto this holy land of India. Then only this nation can prosper. Went to sleep by 9:00.

10 May (Sunday)

Woke up by 4:30. Morning could not watch any program on Doordarshan due to power cut. Afternoon my brother Srinivas, my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani and my nephew Sujan came from Molleru Mallavaram. Evening watched the Telugu feature film “Dharma Theja” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Went to sleep by 9:00.

11 May (Monday)

Got up by 4:30. Today I spent most of my time at home playing with my nephew Sujan. Morning went to Raja Venkata Nagaram and spent there from 12:00 to 3:00. Returned home by 4:00. Sujan is a mischievous kid. It is difficult to deal with him. He wants to play with all those things, which we keep away from him. He beats on the cheeks of others. Recently he entered his third year. Still he can’t speak well. He would soon be taken to Srisailam for his holy haircut (many Hindus observe this practice. The well-groomed locks of hair of their little babies are offered (by shaving) in the premises of temples of their favorite gods and goddesses. Lord Shiva is the favorite god of my brother Srinivas. The famous place of residence of Lord Shiva in Andhra Pradesh is Srisailam). Anyhow he is enjoying his early childhood well. This age of mischief and innocence is great in everybody’s life. Kids stretch their lovely and delicate hands toward others hinting them to take them to them. No much burden (clothes and ornaments) on their body or strain (caused by thoughts about the present and fears about future) to their brain. A god-gifted stage of their formative and carefree life. Went to sleep by 9:00.

12 May (Tuesday)

Woke up by 4:00. Got ready soon and reached our nearby railway over bridge by 6:00. Thence took an auto rickshaw and reached Adduroad by 6:30. There took a lorry for Jaggampeta and paid him 15 rupees as fare. That lorry driver asked me to get down at Annavaram and returned me five rupees. Took another lorry and reached Jaggampeta by 9:00. He charged seven rupees for my journey from Annavaram to Jaggampeta. When I was getting down from the lorry in Jaggampeta, the bus to Molleru Mallavaram was already on its way of journey. I went to bus station. Luckily met my residential school friend Uma Maheswara Rao of village Mallisala and my maternal uncle Krishnam Raju there. Spent talking with them for some time. By 12:30 the bus started toward Mallavaram. Reached the house of uncle Satya Narayana (father of my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani) by 2:00. Evening it rained heavily. Night talked with uncle Uppalapati Krishnam Raju for some time about the studies of his son Raja. Night slept at their house due to rain. Went to sleep by 10:00.

13 May (Wednesday)

Woke up by 4:30. Morning had a short conversation with uncle Krishnam Raju about the studies of his son Raja. We arrived at a conclusion. Talked with my sister-in-law Sowjanya for some time about how she did the recent tenth standard examinations. She said that she would certainly pass. I took their (hers and Padmaja’s) examination registration numbers. Padmaja hopes that she gets a first class. May God mind their wishes. Sowjanya looked weak. I was hurt to find her like that. I think she is suffering due to her confined life to home with restrictions by her elders. May God bless her. Reached village Ramuladeva Puram (also called Tank Bead) by 9:00 on foot in a short cut along with uncle Satya Narayana Raju. Evening it was cool due to thick clouds in the sky. My prayers to Lord Gopal. Went to sleep by 9:00.

14 may (Thursday)

Woke up by 4:00. At present I am staying as a guest (relative also) at the house of my uncle Rama Krishnam Raju, in Ramuladeva Puram, a small village in Gangavaram Mandal of East Godavari district. This uncle (husband of my maternal aunt Satyavathi) of us is a true farmer. He is a man of hard work, honesty and dedication toward the works of his agriculture. Majority of these villagers are small farmers and coolies. They live in thatched huts. They are kind. Exhibitionist employees are rare to see here. At dawn they go to their agricultural farms and return to their homes at dusk to enjoy their common luxury of sleeping on cot. The main sources of their entertainment are radio, television and films. No good school or road facilities. One fears to come here walking on the long and dusty road. During rainy season, the muddy road wears a frightening look. Most of them are illiterate. Yet human values can be considerably found in their hearts unlike the citizens of modernity and speed. They work hard in farms and live helpfully among themselves at homes. Today I spent here very casually. Went to sleep by 9:00.

15 May (Friday)

Got up by 4:30. By 8:00 went to the house of Kolukuluri Narayana Raju, the father-in-law of my younger paternal uncle Narayana Murthy Raju. Spent there till 11:00 pursuing ordinary conversation with the maternal grandmother of my cousin Ashwini. By 11:30 went to the residence of uncle Datla Rama Raju. Saw the little baby of his daughter Lakshmi. When I took him into my lap for courtesy sake, he greeted me cordially peeing upon me. Talked with them for some time. Returned to the house of my uncle by 1:00 and had my lunch. Meanwhile my brother-in-law Raja came from Mallavaram on bicycle. We rested for one hour. We took leave of my aunt Satyavathi and started to Mallavaram by 3:30 on bicycle. We reached our destination by 4:20. My brother Srinivas, my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani and my nephew Sujan are happy with their respective grandparents, uncles and aunts. Night stayed there. Went to sleep by 9:00.

16 May (Saturday)

Woke up by 4:30. Got ready soon. Raja and I reached Jaggampeta by 10:00 by a bus from Mallavaram. We reached Samalkot by 11:00 by a bus from Jaggampeta. Took Simhadri Express at Samalkot Junction railway station and reached Guntur by 5:00. Thence we proceeded to Sunita Academy Private Limited, a coaching institute for defense related entrance exams, situated at Koppuravuru, in Peda Kakani Mandal of Guntur district. We had our supper at a nearby motel. Our purpose in going there is Raja to attend the medical test for his admission into it for intensive coaching of ten months. Here coaching is provided to suitable candidates for the entrance examinations conducted by the N.D.A. (National Defense Academy of Government of India, which recruits and trains officers for the Indian defense forces). We paid some amount of money to them for reservation of his place for the coaching classes to commence soon. We went to sleep by 10:00 in a room of their institute.

17 May (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. By 11:00 my brother-in-law Raja underwent his medical tests. Then we took a lorry and reached Vijayawada railway station. Thence we took East Coast Express by 2:00 and reached Samalkot Junction by 5:00. Thence we changed two buses and reached Molleru Mallavaram by 8:00. Went to sleep by 10:30.

18 May (Monday)

Got up by 4:30. Morning watched Gemini television channel for some time. Rest of the time spent listening to cine songs on tape recorder, talking with my uncles Krishnam Raju and Satya Narayana Raju, aunt Lakshmi and others. Had my lunch with fish soup by 12:30 served by aunt Lakshmi. Reached the bus stop at Gandhi Statue by 2:45. Took a van and reached Mallisala by 3:30. Thence took a bus and reached Jaggampeta by 4:15. Moved to Rajaveni Theater Junction to go to Gollalagunta. By 4:45 it started raining heavily with winds. Stood in a nearby general store for some time. Then took a local travel jeep and reached Gollalagunta by 6:30. The road to Gollalagunta is good. There are no bushes or trees on either side of the road as it was in the past. I observed much change in the look of the road. Went to sleep by 9:30.

19 May (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:30. By 8:00 started to our mango garden along with my uncle Varma and my cousin Narendra Varma, the son of my uncle Rama Raju. There we had mango fruit and cool juice of palm nuts. Returned home by 10:00. By 3:00 again we went to our mango garden and returned home by 5:00. Night listened to radio for some time. Kolukuluri Subba Raju is my maternal grandfather. He is about 70 now. Even while young, he neglected his family responsibilities and spent reading newspapers, grazing buffaloes and playing cards. He earned nothing. My grandmother Buchchiyyamma somehow managed to get her four daughters married to some fellows. For the last four years or so, he has been suffering from tuberculosis. For the last 18 months, he has been taking tablets, which cost ten rupees a day. He often suffers for not having enough money to buy these medicines. Recently he started using government (supplied free of cost) medicines. May God bless him. Today I felt a little weak. I don’t find any particular cause for it. May Lord Gopal take care of it. Went to sleep by 9:00.

20 May (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. By 8:00 went to our mango garden along with my uncle Varma. There I had two mango fruit and cool juice of palm nuts. We returned home by 9:30. Today it was very hot. By 12:45 I started to Jaggampeta on bicycle to meet my friend Padala Srinivasa Reddy of my school days. He was not at home. Talked with his parents and sister for some time. They are affectionate toward me. By 2:00 entered cinema Rajaveni and saw the Telugu film “Suswaagatham” for the second time. Returned home by 5:30. By 6:00 went to meet Appanna Swamy (my spiritual guide). He looks very simple. He wears loincloth only. He became completely blind around his age of 20, which was said (by a saint he met after he became blind) to be the result of a cobra’s curse against him to which he unknowingly set fire when it was in an anthill. He looks like Ramana Maharshi (a great Hindu saint from Tamil Nadu known for his spiritual system of questioning “Who am I?”). He is a devoted believer in God. He learnt many slokaas of Hindu scriptures by heart with the help of others after he became blind. He spends much of his time in his room in meditation. Went to sleep by 9:00.

21 May (Thursday)

Got up by 5:30. Today I spent most of my time with Appanna Swamy. Today we discussed some spiritual matters and the lifestyle of Ramatheertha, a great devotee of Lord Sriram. Our discussion went on from 1:00 to 5:00. My thought follows, “The depth of spiritualism can’t be perceived unless the observer has rich analytical faculty and understanding ability. Then, when one attains spiritual realization, one begins to hate these material comforts and relations. His quest for truth begins there. Realization of God can’t be achieved in weeks and months. It takes years and mostly depends on the spiritual achievements of one’s previous births also. The appearance and behavior of a true believer in God seems to be odd and crazy to the contemporary materialistic society. One’s devotion toward God can’t be considerable unless one achieves great mental stability and leads a puritanical life”. Went to sleep by 9:30.

22 May (Friday)

Woke up by 5:00. By 7:00 Appanna Swamy and I started to Jaggampeta on bicycle to meet my teacher uncle Venkata Rama Raju. He was not at home. Then we went to the house of my friend Srinivasa Reddy. We talked with them for some time. Then we went to another teacher’s home. He was also not there. Then we returned to Gollalagunta on bicycle. En route we went to the house of Datla Kiran beside the road at village Gurrampalem. We returned home by 8:50. I became completely sweaty in our return journey to Gollalagunta. This afternoon it was so hot that the old could not dare step out. I stayed at home during the afternoon. By 3:30 my uncle Varma and I went to the house of my cousin Murali and spent there talking among ourselves for two hours. Heartily bathed myself by 7:30 at the hand pump. Had my supper by 8:00. Went to sleep by 9:00.

23 May (Saturday)

Got up by 5:00. By 10:30 went to the residence of my Durgada uncle. Talked with my maternal aunt Bhaskaram for some time. Afternoon listened to cine songs on radio till 4:00. Then my uncle Varma, my cousins and I went to our mango garden. There we had cool juice of palm nuts. Returned home by 5:30. From 5:45 to 7:15 ironed my clothes and put them in my journey bag. From the last Monday onwards, I have been spending here at the house of my maternal grandparents. I enjoyed my stay over here. I am a bit hurt to leave these affectionate people and go back to our house. May God bless them. Went to sleep by 9:00.

24 May (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:30. By 10:30 reached Jaggampeta in an auto rickshaw from Gollalagunta. Thence took a lorry for village Tetagunta. Reached the house of my aunt Vimala by 12:15. Today it was refreshing. Spent most of my time talking with my uncle and aunt. Went to sleep by 9:00.

25 May (Monday)

Got up by 5:30. Presently I am staying at the house of my paternal uncle Narasimha Murthy Raju in village Tetagunta as a guest (summer holiday visit). Spent at home till 1:30. Then both of us started to his nearby agricultural farm on bicycles. It is about four kilometers from his house. He is growing farm oil plants, cashew and plantain trees in his farm. The recent cyclone ruined his plantain crop. We spent there till 5:30. We returned home by 6:30. I knew that Tetagunta has good irrigation facilities. Here paddy, mango, cashew, farm oil, cocoa and plantain crops are mostly cultivated. This is my first visit to this uncle’s house here. They came here about three years ago from our area. My uncle, aunt and their two small children are living here in a thatched hut. Their abode is located in a green and serene environment. I spent most of my time here sitting in a chair under coconut trees for shade and fresh air. I did not find affectionate relationship between this uncle and aunt. They are not enemies as such but exchange angry words at each other quite frequently. This uncle is witty in his talking style. I like listening to him. These two are equally affectionate toward me. I find a lot of joy in spending with them. Went to sleep by 9:00.

26 May (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. From 6:00 to 12:00 spent simply sitting under the shade of coconut trees before our uncle’s hut talking with my aunt Vimala. By 2:00 took leave of them and started my journey back to our village. Came to the nearby temple of Lord Anjaneya Swamy and awaited bus. It brought me to Tuni by 3:00. Moved to railway station. Today the results of the recently held tenth standard examinations are published in newspapers. Reached home by 5:00 by Vijayawada-Visakhapatnam passenger. Night watched Doordarshan for some time. My short tour (of two weeks) to the residences of our relatives in East Godavari district is over by today. This is a very hot season. This trip made me weak. Rains have recently blest East Godavari district but our Visakhapatnam area did not witness the touch of cool showers for long. It is very sultry here. The main well of drinking water in our village recently started drying up. Went to sleep by 10:00.

27 May (Wednesday)

Got up by 5:00. All the day spent at home. Morning listened to cine songs on radio for some time. Again from 2:15 to 6:00 listened to cine songs on radio sitting in the front of our house for air. Night watched Doordarshan till 9:00. Recently it became very hot. A number of deaths are reported due to sunstroke. All the time one has to wave one’s fan in the hand for air. Bodies become wet due to continuous sweating. The faces of the common look pale. The skin of the fair gets tanned. Only those that have enough money to buy and maintain air conditioners and coolers can’t be victimized by this prevailing summer. In short, people are undergoing agony due to this hot climate. Only rains, gifted by God, can cool the dry bodies of earthly beings. May that God bless rains soon and soothe our scorched bodies and irritated minds. Went to sleep by 9:00.

28 May (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Today my uncle Rama Raju spent at our house from 11:00 to 6:00. By 6:00 in the evening, my uncle Rama Krishnam Raju came from village Ramuladeva Puram. I knew that Padmaja, the daughter of my uncle Krishnam Raju of Molleru Mallavaram, passed in second class in her recently taken tenth standard examinations. My innocent sister-in-law Sowjanya failed in some subjects. She can’t get her tenth standard certificate. The same happened in the case of my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani also. She was married to my brother Srinivas. Thereafter she did not clear her subjects despite his insistence for it. Sowjanya is in the line now. Her parents are planning to get her married soon to some good creature. Both of them tried hard for succeeding in the examinations but the dream of Sowjanya could not be fulfilled. I know that she suffers to accept the truth of this failure. It is difficult to accept failure after a long wait for success but one can’t help it. I think one should take one’s failure as a sweet fruit blest by God. He knows well when and what to give to His creatures. They should accept everything blest by God. Very few things happen according to our choice. So, we should accept and love our life as it is. Went to sleep by 9:30.

29 May (Friday)

Got up by 5:00. All the time spent at home fearing to step out into fiery heat. Watched Doordarshan for some time. This afternoon fire broke out in our village and about 20 thatched huts were burnt into ashes. The efforts of villagers could not control the wild fire. Luckily winds did not blow much at that time. So, many houses were spared from the wrath of fire. By 1:30 the government vehicle arrived with fire brigade from Elamanchili. They could cool down the fierce flames soon. When the water in the tank of the vehicle was over, they rushed to our nearby village and returned soon filling it. They used three tanks of water to deal with the fire. Many are affected by this mishap. Drinking water problem is already there. Went to sleep by 9:00.

30 May (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Most of the time spent watching Eenadu and Gemini television channels. Recently we took the cable connection. Even today it was hot. Television entered many houses in our village. Feature films and endless serials made viewers slaves to idiot box. I don’t like these regional private television channels, especially the content quality of their telecasts. I would be happy if all these regional channels disappear one day. One can’t learn other languages always watching these channels of one’s mother tongue. One should learn Hindi and English also watching those channels. One should understand the world well. One’s carefulness only can save one’s life. Only then one’s future can be bright. Went to sleep by 9:00.

31 May (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Spent all my time at home. Morning watched “Rangoli” and “Sri Krishna” programs on Delhi Doordarshan. Spent rest of my time watching parts of Telugu feature films on Hyderabad Doordarshan and Eenadu television channel. Today it was very hot and unbearable. Went to sleep by 9:30.

1 June (Monday)

Woke up by 4:45. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. By 8:45 started to NRPM railway station along with my cousin Naren, the son of my uncle Rama Raju and cousin Hari, the son of my uncle Rama Krishnam Raju. We reached Elamanchili by 10:15. Three of us moved to cinema Venkateshwara and saw the Telugu film “Auto Driver” of Nagarjuna. Then we walked toward the shops by main road. We bought a pair of sandals for Hari and two lungies for me. Today my brother Sambha gave me 400 rupees for my expenses. Afternoon we spent at the pan shop of my friend Appa Rao for some time. Came back to railway station by 3:30. Tirumala Express arrived by 4:00. We returned home by 5:00. Today it was a bit cool. Night I did not watch television. Went to sleep by 9:00.

2 June (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready and went to NRPM railway station by 8:45. Reached Tuni by 10:30 by Visakhapatnam-Vijayawada passenger. Went to K 3000 Cloth Store. There I bought two shirt pieces, each worth 25 rupees, one piece for trousers worth 85 rupees and one readymade shirt for 75 rupees. Then went to a bookstore and bought a copy of Repidex Hindi-Telugu learning book. This is to present to my sister-in-law Padmaja as a small gift on the occasion of her success in the tenth standard exams. Came back to railway station by 12:30. Awaited train for a long time. Returned home by 3:30 by Tuni-Visakhapatnam shuttle. I felt much hungry and so ate three mango fruit. Evening gave my pieces of cloth to tailor Pardes in our village for stitching. Night prepared a little piece of advice for my sister-in-law Padmaja to give along with the book. Today it was cool. Night watched Doordarshan for some time. Went to sleep by 8:30.

3 June (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. By 5:45 started to Peda Gummuluru on bicycle. Spent at the site of our house construction till 11:00 and returned home. Afternoon watched television till 5:00. Night watched Telugu news on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Today it was very hot. My thought follows, “A person with much greed for money always tries to grow it, not spending it for his joy. Such person can’t be considered a happy man. The desire for more money never dies. By the time he realizes that he lost much part of his life in search for money only, there won’t be energy in his body or spirit to enjoy anything. They already became low. Now they are on their way to death. Life is gone. No regrets are entertained”. Went to sleep by 8:30.

4 June (Thursday)

Woke up by 4:45. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Rest of the time spent at home. Watched Eenadu television channel for some time. Cool and heavy winds blew in the evening. Night watched Telugu news on Hyderabad Doordarshan. My thought follows, “The affectionate relationships among family members would be good until one of them is married. Once married, a male or female can’t help minding his or her spouse and children and the related family affairs of their own. One thus distances oneself from one’s network of one’s parents and siblings. He builds up his own sphere of life where he can live happily with his family members according to his preferences and priorities. Then he neglects his old parents. Poor relatives that often come to his house appear to him like detestable creatures. His only aim would be to develop his family. He does not care for others because he has no time for it. Oh God! How selfish one becomes after one’s marriage. Sons follow the orders of their young and attractive wives, not of their old and unproductive parents. Thus marriage seems to be a turning point in everybody’s life”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

5 June (Friday)

Woke up by 4:45. By 6:00 went to our mango garden on bicycle to attend a small work there. Returned home by 10:00. By 10:45 started to Adduroad on bicycle along with my cousin Hari. On the way gave the food carrier to my father in Peda Gummuluru who was supervising the work of construction of foundation of our house. Then I helped my cousin Hari take a lorry at Adduroad for Jaggampeta. Returned home by 12:00. On my return journey, met my paternal grandparents and enquired about their health. Afternoon watched a Telugu feature film on Eenadu television channel. From 2:30 to 5:00 listened to Telugu and Malayalam cine songs from Sri Lanka radio station. Today it was very hot. Evening clouds gathered in the sky. Rain was expected but they cheated people. Night watched television for some time. Went to sleep by 10:30.

6 June (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. Took Vijayawada-Visakhapatnam passenger by 6:00 and went to Elamanchili. Went to the house of Lawyer Lakshmi in Kothapeta Colony and gave her some papers signed and given by my father. Returned home by 9:00 by Visakhapatnam-Vijayawada passenger train. Afternoon watched some programs on Eenadu and Gemini television channels. By 4:15 started to NRPM railway station. Took Simhadri Express and reached Elamanchili by 5:00. Went to cinema Venkateshwara and saw the English film “Love is Love”. Night spent in Elamanchili watching the programs conducted on the occasion of Sri Gowri Parameswara (the presiding deity of this town) Celebrations. The programs are Amani Orchestra by Kakinada team, a Telugu mythological drama and a few recording dances (wherein male and female artistes dance on stage in tune to the recorded cine songs). Night almost I did not sleep.

7 June (Sunday)

Took Visakhapatnam-Vijayawada passenger train from Elamanchili and reached home by 9:00. Afternoon rested for some time. Evening watched part of the Telugu feature film “Raktha Sambhandhaalu” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Night watched part of the Telugu feature film “Maga Mahaa Raju” on Eenadu television channel. Went to sleep by 9:00.

8 June (Monday)

Woke up by 4:45. Morning watched devotional songs in the program “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Today I spent most of my time at home watching television. Evening went to Peda Gummuluru to see the ongoing work of our house construction. Let me write a little about my father. To be precise, he is a senseless fellow. His words with our family members always seem to be rough and harsh. I am taking 200 rupees only a month from him for my academic and other expenses. It is too little to meet my needs. He worries a lot to give me that money also. Money is all for him. He is mad after buying land borrowing money from others. Each and every day is a struggle for me to deal with him. We behave like enemies at home. I should not forgive him in future for his rude and brutal behavior toward me now. I must teach him a lesson. Then only my wounded psyche can be satisfied. I will see it happen. Went to sleep by 8:30.

9 June (Tuesday)

Woke up by 4:30. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Today I spent most of my time at home watching Eenadu and Gemini television channels. Evening prepared supper at home. Today it was very hot. Today I sent a postcard to my brother-in-law Raja in Molleru Mallavaram congratulating him on his success in first class in his Intermediate examinations. My thought follows, “There are no set principles which can help one achieve success in everything. Everybody desires success in all attempts. Some say that failure is the stepping stone to success but in reality we see many who completely withdraw from their path of endeavors with the first blow of failure itself. It means hopelessness hits their heart from which they can’t come out. Generally strong determination, fortitude, constant effort, ambition for achievement and desire for recognition seem to be the prerequisites for achieving success. Very few can follow these rigid principles. This is why we find very few great people in this world who achieve extraordinary success starting from a simple life. One’s destiny also has to contribute to one in this direction”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

10 June (Wednesday)

Woke up by 4:40. From 5:30 to 6:00 watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Morning and evening prepared food at home. Today I spent most of my time watching television. I don’t like to mention the order and names of these programs. With the advent of these private television channels, throughout the world, including India, the public almost became couch potatoes. Various interesting programs are being telecast round the clock. People don’t like to miss their favorite programs once accustomed to them. Various prizes associated with television programs make them further crazy. Once people were happy watching one feature film every Sunday evening on Doordarshan. Now, day and night, one can watch different films on different television channels. Viewers would be certainly affected by these habits but none is ready to shun the habit of watching television daily. They want entertainment at any cost. Went to sleep by 9:00.

11 June (Thursday)

Woke up by 4:30. Today I spent much of my time at home watching television. Night watched the Telugu feature film “Dhonga Mogudu” on Eenadu television channel. Today it was cool and cloudy. My thought follows, “Teenage is the great age of any human being. It is equally dangerous too. It is a hot and naughty age which bubbles with emotions and passions. It craves to understand and enjoy something new but it won’t be possible. It is radical and wild in nature and seldom worries about future. It is a golden age of human body with increasing burdens and blossoming beauty. The spirit dreams to bathe in moonlit nights and rains. It flies high in the world of imaginations and fantasies. Elders of the family must take care of their children during this stage because they may go astray in their wild pursuits. If one is badly spoilt at this stage of one’s life, one’s future turns uncertain and gloomy. Anyhow it is an unforgettable stage of human life. That speed of body and vigor of spirit can’t be seen in the latter stages of one’s life. It disappears from everybody like lightning in the sky”. Went to sleep by 9:30.

12 June (Friday)

Woke up by 5:00. All the day spent at home. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. From 11:00 to 1:30 watched the Telugu feature film “Dhonga Mogudu” on Satellite Hyderabad Doordarshan channel. Afternoon spent sometime standing outside for cool air. Night watched the Telugu feature film “Jeevana Poraatam” from 8:30 to 11:00 on Satellite Hyderabad Doordarshan channel. Today it was cool. It rained a bit in the evening. The dry spirits of common people could be cooled down to some extent. It is like offering a cool and sweet beverage to a creature that came into a shade after a long journey in the scorching sun. It is like pouring water on fierce flames. It is like the sweet company of a pretty girl to a boy traveling a long distance alone in a train. I cordially welcome these breezes and showers. Went to sleep by 11:00.

13 June (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Today I spent at home lying on cot and sitting outside watching the passersby. From 3:00 to 5:00 listened to Telugu and Malayalam cine songs on radio. Night watched Doordarshan for sometime. Today it was cool and rainy. My thought follows, “Man finds all the seasons of time problematic to him in some way. In summer, every common man feels much worried to spend his time in the hot sun. He frequently looks for shade. Even the other two seasons do the same during their active periods of functioning. Man must suffer all this wrath of nature time to time. If he is sensitive, creative and intelligent, he can enjoy every day in every season”. Went to sleep by 8:30.

14 June (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Rangoli” and “Sri Krishna” programs on television. Evening watched the Telugu feature film “Shiva Ranjani” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Also watched the Telugu feature film “Iddharu” on Eenadu television channel. Today it rained much. It is a great relief to the common. Went to sleep by 9:30.

15 June (Monday)

Woke up by 5:15. Today I spent all my time at home. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Thereafter watched the Telugu feature film “Paardhudu” on Satellite Hyderabad Doordarshan channel. Night watched the Telugu program “Erra Mallelu” for sometime on Hyderabad Doordarshan. My thought follows, “How odd the human life is! Childhood ends with a faultless behavior provided there is proper upbringing by parents. There won’t be responsibilities to one in this age of innocence. However, the issue of child labor is an evident evil of human society. Youth is the festive season of human life. Attraction for the opposite sex and the related troubles and joys fill this stage of life of fantasies. Poetry emerges if the heart falls prey to the beauty of a girl. Love and attachment toward one’s favorite girl is a common phenomenon in this age of man. He says human life is a heaven. Old age is an evil shadow of gloom on the passive body and soul of a creature. It is all waiting for death and fighting to live with haunting memories of the past”. Went to sleep by 9:30.

16 June (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Afternoon spent watching television. Today I spent at home very casually. My thought follows, “Most of the world population has beliefs in various gods and goddesses. Why do they believe in them? Is it because their ancestors worshipped some gods and goddesses or is there such attraction in every religion. Perhaps the uncivilized man would have started worshipping an invisible god (perceived as a divine symbol of great energy which can save him from natural calamities) when he was in misery looking for somebody to pity his pathetic life. His nomadic life was very vulnerable to the forces of nature. Many think and behave like sheep in following some faith. How many of them question and explore if there is any truth in a religion? They go to shrines and practice some religious acts to feel secure thinking that some divine power is safeguarding them always. I believe that there is no need of following any religion for one who is kind and generous toward every creature in this world”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

17 June (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. By 9:30 started to our mango garden on foot along with my uncle Narayana Murthy. Today I helped him in his work to some extent. Returned home by 5:45. Night watched Doordarshan for sometime. My thought follows “I am not a believer in tradition or modernity. I think it is bad to follow them blindly. Tradition should not make a man a blind follower of customs. One must examine if there is any truth in it. If it is based on irrational grounds, it should not be followed. I don’t like if somebody says that he or she is a true believer or follower of tradition or culture. If so, he or she should be considered as a lunatic. One may follow humanitarian values and good principles which are based on natural justice and generosity. Life would be enjoyable in every sense to such noble people. It is not much difficult to be noble. It simply needs our mindset to be oriented toward a right path of thought and action guided by our conscience”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

18 June (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Today I spent much of my time very casually sitting outside and lying on cot. Watched television for sometime. Today it was cool. It rained a little at night. My thought follows, “The ultimate creation of God is human body in fact. I don’t know how He could get such excellent idea of preparing human body with bones, nerves, muscles, brain and so on. The brain directs the actions of parts of body sitting in the throne (head) like a dictator. Many thoughts and remembrances coexist in a friendly manner in it. Some of them are sweet and some are bitter. The digestive system is a wonder in itself. What a surprising formation of the heart which pulls and pushes blood from and to the nervous system of the body. The liver purifies blood. Various enzymes help the body function in a healthy manner. Hunger is an inherent quality of human body. It activates one to struggle for food. So, I assert that God is the most intelligent creature”. Went to sleep by 8:30.

19 June (Friday)

Woke up by 5:00. Today I spent most of my time simply sitting in the front of our house watching the passersby. Night watched Doordarshan for some time. My thought follows, “Devotion and humility are two essential factors for learning. Devotion means attention toward our studies. Humility means our respect and love for our teachers. The pursuit of learning is like an endless journey. The more we learn, the more we realize that we have learnt very little. Knowledge is an ocean. All learners are little and weak creatures in it. They can’t swim much in it. Something always remains to be discovered by inquisitive man. Tricky God ensures it. He is a thief and so hides Himself from us. He does not like to share His secret knowledge with us. Curiosity and struggle to know more is necessary for every learner”. Went to sleep by 9:30.

20 June (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. From 11:00 to 2:00 watched the Telugu feature film “Kokilamma” on Hyderabad Doordarshan’s satellite channel. It was directed by K Balachander, a great artist from the South Indian film industry. Saritha played the main role. She is a deaf and dumb woman. She works in the houses of others and ekes out her living. They look down upon her. Her youth is active but she has no life partner to share her desires. She develops admiration toward a fellow who is a bit talented in music. She helps him a lot for his growth in music field. He promises to marry her. He becomes a famous and rich singer soon. Being greedy for luxuries and a showy life, he eventually marries a rich woman. Saritha remains a helpless and pitiable character toward the end of the story. Went to sleep by 9:15.

21 June (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Spent all my time at home. Morning watched “Rangoli” and “Sri Krishna” programs on television. Today also it was refreshing. My salutes to Lord Gopal and Mother Saraswati. Went to sleep by 8:30.

22 June (Monday)

Woke up by 5:15. Spent watching television till 11:00. Today it was cloudy and cool. From 2:00 to 5:00 helped in the cracking work of groundnuts (for seeds to plant soon) of our villager at our house. Night watched television till 9:00. My thought follows, “Fortitude is necessary in human life. Optimism can lead a man towards it. It is known to all that human life is not a bed of roses. One has to set a goal for oneself and continue his life towards achieving it. Disturbing and distracting obstacles frequently surface on the path toward one’s goal. One has to avert them smoothly applying one’s genius and patience. Thus one slowly nears one’s goal. The bliss of success achieved after a long and persistent effort must be enjoyed. The success or fame of a person, achieved without much effort, cannot be as sweet as the one achieved after a long struggle. One becomes great through intelligence and generosity”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

23 June (Tuesday)

Got up by 5:00. Today I spent all my time at home. For about seven hours, I helped our village woman Appala Raju in cracking groundnuts for seeds to plant soon. Night watched television for sometime. My thought follows, “The green plants, bushes, trees, beautiful birds and animals in the hills and mountains bring us pleasure always. They look more beautiful while in their natural habitats than when reared by man at home or kept in zoos. Nature is the best companion to all these living beauties on earth. All entities of nature are lovable and enjoyable. Nature is not partial. It is the well-wisher of all its contents. How devotedly does it enhance its beauty! All can’t see the beauty of nature. Woodcutters and hunters can’t enjoy the splendid beauty of nature. Man’s mind should be sensitive and creative to enjoy the love of nature toward him. Man’s existence turns inert unless he is in the company of vibrant nature”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

24 June (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Today I spent all my time at home. Morning and night watched television for sometime. Most of the time spent helping Appala Raju cracking groundnuts. Today it was cloudy and dim. By today the construction work of the basement of our house in Peda Gummuluru was over. Now the empty space of the basement has to be filled with sand. My paternal grandparents spent most part of their lives in a thatched hut in the mango grove of Kshatriyas of village Tangedu (known for their richness for long in our locality). Our own residence gives us more pleasure. I contributed almost nothing to the construction of basement of our house. It is because I don’t have a bicycle to go there daily. I accept that food, clothes and shelter are the basic needs for a common man to be happy to some extent. But we find gypsies all over our motherland. They temporarily set up small tents and move on to other places very soon. Man must adapt himself to his real and inevitable life. Went to sleep by 9:50.

25 June (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Most of the time helped Appala Raju cracking groundnuts. Watched Doordarshan for sometime. My thought follows, “Many say that India is a nation of glorious tradition and culture. I agree that it has great tradition because it is rich in its visible artistic excellence but I don’t accept that its culture is great. Since the early ages, the wise and the influential have been exploiting the foolish and the poor. The mighty are bothering the weak. People fought for authority internally and external invaders took that chance for their cause. During British rule, many Indians helped them expand their reach. They opted for their benefits. Only a few helped the nation come out of its slavery of foreign rule. This is what happens in any country. Then how can India be considered great in its culture wherein its own people are not dedicated toward its unity and development? This shows that every Indian behaves like a common man in all the ages. The greatness of the culture of a country needs to be assessed at the individual level of its citizens”. Went to sleep by 9:15.

26 June (Friday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. By 9:00 started to Peda Gummuluru on our short bicycle. Today I am the supervisor for the ongoing work of getting the basement watered by two women workers of our village. I spent there till 5:00. Afternoon had a dosa at a hotel in Adduroad. Today, Ramesh Kumar, one of my friends, spent talking with me for some time. He told me how he fell in love and lust with a woman of 35 in Peda Gummuluru. She has her husband and a son. Mostly men and women are the attractive creatures to one another. When two persons are close for a long time, lust develops in them. If circumstances are in their favor, they drift into a socially objectionable relationship. They get victimized by the eventual unethical bonds. Half of the present world population falls into this category. The rest know well how to keep themselves ethically and spiritually balanced despite the highly distracting forces of the society around them. One should live in the latter category. Then only human societies can be considered different from animals and so appreciable relatively. Went to sleep by 10:00.

27 June (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. By 9:00 started to Adduroad to get our short bicycle repaired. Returned home by 12:00. From 1:00 to 3:00 did the work of cracking groundnuts for Appala Raju. From 3:00 to 5:00 cleaned our short bicycle and oiled it well. Night watched television for some time. Today one of my college friends appeared me when I was going to Adduroad. Despondency colored his words about his settlement in life after his education. He recently passed his graduate course. I advised him to be active in searching for a job. Opportunities are like different fish in a deep river. One must struggle to find and catch them along with others. Went to sleep by 9:00.

28 June (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Sri Krishna” program on Doordarshan. It is an interesting program. One can acquire spiritual knowledge watching it. Also watched Telugu feature films “Maro Charithra”, “Pekaata Paapaa Rao” and “Anthima Theerpu” on television channels. Went to sleep by 9:00.

29 June (Monday)

Woke up by 5:00. From 5:30 to 6:00 watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Spent watching television till 11:00. Afternoon spent some time at the house of Kumar Raju. Evening watched Doordarshan. Night watched the Telugu feature film “Lawyer Suhasini” and the Hindi serial “Om Namassivaaya” on Doordarshan. My thought follows, “Generally, things that are far away or inaccessible to one look more attractive. Something that is easily accessible or achievable seems to be simple and so unwanted to one. Common people love the lifestyles and the charm of film actors and actresses. Very few husbands and wives respect and appreciate the thoughts and attractions of their life partners. An earning young son can’t look after his parents well but he deeply mourns their death one day. A devotee seldom worships the image of God in his home. He goes on pilgrimages for seeking the blessings of God”. Went to sleep by 10:40.

30 June (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan in the morning. Today I spent most of my time at home watching television. Afternoon watched the Telugu feature film “Muthyaala Pallaki” on Eenadu television channel. Night could not watch the Hindi serial “Jai Hanuman” completely due to power cut. Today I received a letter from Sri Potti Sriramulu Telugu University, Public Gardens, Hyderabad, intimating me to send back the attached application form, filled in, requesting for a grant under the “Financial Assistance for Book Printing” scheme of the university. This is with regard to my recently typed work “Pranaya Saagara Teeraalu” in Telugu. My Junior College Telugu Lecturer Yandamoori Narasimha Murthy would have sent a solicitation to the university to help me in this regard. By today the summer holidays of our degree college which extended from 4^th May to 30^th June came to an end. This summer was very hot. Yet I undertook my short summer tour to the houses of our relatives in East Godavari district. After returning from there, I spent most of my time at home very casually. Now and then I sent competition postcards to participate in some contests of television programs. A spell of relief thus passed off. Went to sleep by 10:30.

1 July (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. It rained in the morning. Started to NRPM railway station by 8:30 on foot with Yeshu Babu beside me with an umbrella in his hand partly meant for me. Caught Tirumala Express (Tirupati to Visakhapatnam), which arrived at its right time. Detrained at Visakhapatnam by 11:00 and moved toward Siripuram Junction by a city bus. Reached the office of N.S.S. in Andhra University by 11:30. Just then the jeep with Sampath Kumar was moving out. Waited for him for a long time at that office. He returned by 3:00. I discussed my book printing with him for some time. Took leave of him by 5:00. Went to the workshop of Arya Printers along with its proprietor on his scooter. He prepared a quotation for the print of my small work “Pranaya Saagara Teeraalu” to send to Sri Potti Sriramulu Telugu University. Returned home by 10:00 by a passenger train. Went to sleep by 11:00.

2 July (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:30. Morning wrote a little content for sending to Sri Potti Sriramulu Telugu University in Hyderabad. Took Tirumala Express and reached Elamanchili by 9:30. Went to Government Junior College and gave the student participation related certificates to the principal of our degree college, which were given to me yesterday by the N.S.S. department of Andhra University. Today I spent most of my time at the pan shop of my friend Appa Rao due to rain. I asked the clerk of our degree college to issue me the concession form for buying quarterly student season ticket for me. He gave it to me by 4:30. Afternoon had four samosas at Ambika Tea Stall. Got the typed papers of my writing bound at Vijaya Lakshmi Printing Press. Also got two covers made there for the dispatch of my work to Sri Potti Sriramulu Telugu University. Came to railway station by 4:45. Reached home by 5:45 by Godavari Express. Night also wrote a little content for sending to the Telugu University. Went to bed by 9:30.

3 July (Friday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Spent watching television till 8:15. Started to NRPM railway station by 8:45. Reached Elamanchili by 10:00 by Tirumala Express. Went to ANL Parcel Service counter of the APSRTC (Andhra Pradesh State Road Transport Corporation, running a large number of passenger buses throughout the state with the governmental funding and supervision) and booked my parcel of the typed work “Pranaya Saagara Teeraalu” to Telugu University in Hyderabad. The charge for this dispatch is 16 rupees. Then went to cinema Venkateshwara along with my friend Dara Konda and saw the Telugu film “Baavagaaroo Baagunnaaraa”. Came back to railway station by 2:45. Took Tirumala Express and reached home by 4:15. Started to Raja Venkata Nagaram by 5:45 on bicycle. Night I stayed there. By 7:15 rang up Sampath Kumar and informed him about the reservation of train tickets. He told me to cancel his reservation ticket. Went to sleep by 9:00.

4 July (Saturday)

Woke up by 4:00. Returned home by 6:00 from Raja Venkata Nagaram on bicycle. Got ready soon and moved to NRPM railway station by 7:00. Reached Elamanchili by 7:30 by Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger. Attended the work of cancellation of the reservation ticket of Sampath Kumar to Secunderabad. Took Tirumala Express at Elamanchili and reached Waltair (another name to Visakhapatnam) by 11:30. Took a city bus and reached the office of N.S.S. in Andhra University by 12:00. Met Sampath Kumar and discussed our journey to Secunderabad. He gave me 230 rupees toward my to and fro train fare for Secunderabad. From 2:00 to 3:30 attended the rehearsal activities at Saint Joseph College in Gnanapuram. Returned home by 6:00 by Godavari Express. Went to sleep by 9:00.

5 July (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Spent most of my time watching television. Morning watched “Rangoli” program on Delhi Doordarshan. Our degree college was reopened after summer holidays but classes don’t go on well for some days due to intentional and careless absence of many students. Now one can’t get quality education in many government colleges. Went to sleep by 9:00.

6 July (Monday)

Woke up by 4:00. Watched devotional songs on Delhi Doordarshan in the morning. Spent watching television till 8:00. Started to NRPM railway station by 8:15. Reached Elamanchili by 10:00 by Tirumala Express. Went to our degree college and met our librarian Simhachalam. He made some suggestions to me for writing an essay on youth. I noted them down in a book. He advised me to read Telugu monthly Yojana for more content for the essay. Took leave of him and came to railway station by 12:15. Reached home by 1:30 by Bokaro-Alleppey Express. Afternoon watched television for some time and rested for some time. Evening collected some English words from a dictionary to use them wherever necessary in the essay writing. Today I sent an application for General Duty post in the Coast Guard of Indian Navy. Night spent watching Doordarshan till 10:30, in which the last program was the weekly Telugu serial “Om Namassivaaya”. Went to sleep by 10:40.

7 July (Tuesday)

Got up by 5:00. Started to NRPM railway station by 6:40. Reached Elamanchili by 8:00 by Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger. Morning met my junior college friend Balu. He is pursuing Bachelor of Technology in Chemical Engineering at Maha Raja College in Vijaya Nagaram district. We went to public library and scanned Telugu dailies for some time. Spent at the pan shop of my friend Appa Rao for some time. Came back to railway station by 10:30. Returned home by 11:40 by Vizag-Tuni shuttle. By 1:30 started to our mango garden on bicycle. Spent there till 3:00. Returned home by 4:00. From 4:30 to 6:00 wrote an essay in English on “The Role of Youth in Nation Building”. Went to Peda Gummuluru by 6:30. Borrowed a white shirt from my friend Ramesh Kumar. Returned home by 7:30. From 7:30 to 8:30 wrote an essay in English on “What India Achieved in these 50 Years”. Today it was cloudy and cool. Went to sleep by 9:00.

8 July (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Started to NRPM railway station by 6:40. Reached Elamanchili by 8:00 and moved to public library. Spent reading Telugu film weeklies till 10:00. Asked the librarian for Telugu monthly Yojana. He said the library did not subscribe to it. It was drizzling outside. The uncovered parts of the body were slowly getting wet. Went to our degree college and met the librarian. Asked him for the book, which he recently promised to give me. He said he forgot to bring it. Afternoon had four samosas at Ambika Tea Stall along with my classmate Ganga Raju. Today I had six Maha Lacto chocolates. Came back to railway station by 1:15. Walked to the nearby house of our college librarian and borrowed the book Advanced Essays for Colleges and Competitive Examinations by Ahuja. Goodwill Company published it. Reached home by 4:00 by Tirumala Express. Went to sleep by 8:30.

9 July (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan One. Started to Narsipatnam Road railway station by 6:40. Reached Visakhapatnam by 9:30 by Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger. Reached the office of N.S.S. in Andhra University by 10:00. The team of students, representing Andhra University, going to participate in the “Youth Festival”, being hosted by Osmania University, Hyderabad, was already there. The rehearsals of break dance, folk songs, patriotic songs, group songs, classical dance and classical songs went on from 11:00 to 12:30. I reached railway station by 1:00. Today my lunch was three bananas. Took Tirumala Express by 2:30. Reached home by 4:00. Today it was cloudy, cool and pleasant. Spent watching television from 4:00 to 5:30. I am the only student from Government Degree College in Elamanchili to participate in the forthcoming youth festival at Osmania University in Hyderabad. Went to sleep by 9:00.

10 July (Friday)

I would describe my visit to Hyderabad. Annual Inter-university Youth Festival is scheduled to be celebrated between 11^th and 13^th of this month. I am one of the lucky ones to participate in it representing Andhra University from Government Degree College in Elamanchili. I did the reservation of second-class railway ticket for me from Elamanchili to Secunderabad. The remaining students come by Visakha Express from Visakhapatnam whereas I take Godavari Express at Narsipatnam Road. Nearly 16 students, from different degree colleges in Visakhapatnam district, both girls and boys, are from Andhra University nearby areas. The total number of participants from Andhra University area is 26. I took Godavari Express at Narsipatnam Road by 5:30 in the evening. The coach number is S₈ and my berth number is 3. By 5:00, the other students, along with Sampath Kumar and Bhagya Lakshmi, start from Visakhapatnam by Visakha Express.

11 July (Saturday) and 12 July (Sunday)

I met C Sampath Kumar, the N.S.S. Coordinator of Andhra University, E.P.S. Bhagya Lakshmi, an N.S.S. Program Officer and the remaining students at Secunderabad railway station by 8:30. All of us reached the Osmania University by 9:30 in nine auto rickshaws. The festival took place on 11^th, 12^th and 13^th. The events in which competitions were conducted include Elocution, Essay Writing, Quiz, Folk Songs, Folk Dance, Folk Group Songs, Classical Songs, Classical Dance, Painting, Mono Action, Break Dance, Western Dance and Skit. The participating universities in this festival were Andhra University, Osmania University, Kakatiya University, Sri Krishnadevaraya University, Nagarjuna University and Acharya N G Ranga Agricultural University. All the teams from all the universities tried their best to express their latent talent and made the festival a grand success.

13 July (Monday)

The competitions were conducted on 11^th and 12^th. Prize distribution and valedictory function took place on 13^th. The Osmania University did well in arranging food and accommodation facilities for the participants and guests. Judges for competitions are experts in their fields. It was said that judgment was based on the principles of impartiality and equality. The competitions were conducted at the buildings of Center for Distance Education. Good hotels or shops were not found in its nearby areas. The nearby railway stations are Jamai Osmania and Arts College. The participants from all the universities exhibited good performance in the festival. Radha Kistayya, the present Vice Chancellor of Osmania University, praised the girls from N G Ranga Agricultural University for their active, effective and commendable performance in this festival.

14 July (Tuesday)

In the valedictory function held on 13^th, Professor Radha Kistayya, the Vice Chancellor of Osmania University, D S Murthy, the Director of Higher Education, K V Ramanachari, the Executive of Youth Services, Andhra Pradesh, and some other local dignitaries participated. I am happy that Andhra University team could bag the maximum number of prizes in all the competitions. Our girls did the best and kept our value up. Some of our girl participants are Rama Sree from A V N College, Sridevi Nayar, Aarthi Mirpuri and Suja Varghese. Some of the boys are Arjuno Patro, Keshav, G V K Murthy, Appa Rao and B N John. I participated in the essay writing competition in English but did not win any prize. Participation provides one with knowledge about the outer world and equips one with desirable experiences to some extent. It is an opportunity to share joy and companionship with others, though for a short time. Such remembrances remain forever in one’s heart as tokens of a lost paradise of innocence and ignorance associated with one’s childhood and youth.

15 July (Wednesday)

We went to Kothi area along with Suri Babu, our program officer. We saw the places of CIEFL, Meka Star Auditorium, Arts College and the Guesthouse on the way. All of us came back to Secunderabad railway station by 4:00 on the evening of 14^th. Others took Visakha Express by 5:00. I gave a written farewell message to girls on a paper when the train was moving. I waved my right hand at them wishing them all the best. They had been my beloved girls and boys for these three days. I took a general compartment of Godavari Express and reached home by 4:45 in the morning on 15^th. I spent 25 rupees only during this five-day celebration due to my present financial problems. I had an unpleasant and ticketless return journey in third class compartment from Secunderabad. Today I spent at home watching television and sleeping. Went to sleep by 10:00.

16 July (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan in the morning. Spent watching television for sometime. Reached Elamanchili by 10:00 by Tirumala Express. Went to our degree college and met my college friends. The first year degree admissions are going on and so the second and final year degree classes are not going on. Returned home by 12:30 by Visakhapatnam-Tuni shuttle train. Afternoon spent watching television. Night watched the Telugu feature film “Oorikichchina Maata” of Chiranjeevi. Today postal department called off its strike. I pray Lord Gopal to bless me with peace of mind and success. Man cannot believe completely in anybody on this earth. God is the only being who saves all His children with affection and compassion. I love Lord Gopal the best. He loves and looks after me always. I am His beloved child. Went to sleep by 11:00.

17 July (Friday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Spent watching television till 1:00. Started to Adduroad by 1:15 on our short bicycle. Saw the Telugu film “One Man Army” in cinema Venkatapathi Raju Mahal in matinee show. My friends Ramesh Kumar and Dara Konda accompanied me. Today I wrote a postcard to my uncle Krishnam Raju in Molleru Mallavaram. Also wrote a letter to Ms. Bhagya Lakshmi, Lecturer in Political Science, Visakhapatnam, asking her to keep the photos of youth festival for me. Night wrote a letter to Cecile Perrin of Lyon in France. One evening I took her postal address from her at Elamanchili railway station. She came to the Youth Charitable Organization in Elamanchili to examine the quality of programs going on with their financial assistance (my general understanding). She was very beautiful and put on an attractive fancy dress. Her handwriting was also beautiful. My purpose in writing this letter to her is to know something from a foreign national by correspondence; the sweetness of relationship matters, not the content of correspondence. There are many books in India to know about France but there is only one Perrin who gave her address to me just like that. Let her reply me or not. I wrote to her is important for me. I am a part of this world. I can feel it only when I do such things now and then at least. Night watched television for sometime. Today I felt weak. Went to sleep by 9:00.

18 July (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. Watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan from 5:30 to 6:00. Went to Peda Gummuluru and posted the letter to France. Spent some time in Adduroad talking with my friends. Bought some tablets at a medical store for the remedy of my mild weakness. Returned home by 12:00 and spent rest of the day watching television. Recently my health got affected due to dysentery. Generally I eat good food and maintain physical hygiene as far as possible. I don’t know why these mild disorders often attack me. I worry about my thin body. These mild disorders make me further thinner. I behave like a dictator in taking precautions for keeping up my health. Went to sleep by 9:00.

19 July (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Rangoli” and “Sri Krishna” programs on Doordarshan. Afternoon too spent watching television. Evening watched the Telugu feature film “Superman” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Thereafter watched the Telugu feature film “Illaalu” on the Satellite Channel of Hyderabad Doordarshan. Today also I felt sick. Went to sleep by 11:00.

20 July (Monday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Today I spent much of my time at home watching Eenadu and Gemini television channels. Today it was very hot and unbearable. Even today I suffered from diarrhoea. I have been taking tablets for the last four days. Yet this disorder is out of control. The preparation of necessary goods and things required for building our house in Peda Gummuluru is going on well under the supervision and hard work of my brother Sambha. Bricks were brought and piled up. They were bought from a kiln in village Munagapaka. Sand and stones are also kept available. Carpenters are making wooden material. My brother Sambha is working devotedly in the task of our house construction. He should be commended for it. Night watched the Telugu weekly serial (dubbed from Hindi original) “Om Namassivaaya” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Went to sleep by 10:40.

21 July (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Today I spent much of my time at home watching television. Night watched the weekly Telugu serial (dubbed from Hindi original) “Jai Hanuman” from 9:30 to 10:30 on Hyderabad Doordarshan. My thought follows, “A person who can be happy always is the blest one in my opinion but it is not that easy to maintain for anybody. In general, everybody becomes sad while in hardships. One celebrates happy moments. But one, who plans to lead one’s life in a systematic way, can certainly achieve one’s goals. A good life can’t be built up without proper planning and direction based on constructive and practicable principles. When man loses the quality of humanity, he can’t be happy. In the present age of ultramodernism, man became cruel, selfish and rude. The results are apparent and dangerous. There is no security to human life due to rowdiness, robberies, murders, rapes, terrorism and natural calamities. Man seldom learns lessons but searches for excuses to prove why he became so”. Went to sleep by 11:00.

22 July (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Got ready soon and started to NRPM railway station by 9:00. Reached Elamanchili by 10:00 by Tirumala Express. Moved to our degree college by 10:15. Today English and History classes went on. The politics lecturer came to the class but the girls and boys had already left the classroom. He taught for ten minutes to two students. I had four samosas at Ambika Tea Stall. Today I wrote an application for the issuance of student concession form for my quarterly railway season ticket. Came to railway station by 3:15. Reached home by 4:10 by Tirumala Express. Today it was very hot. Night wrote an advisory letter to my sister-in-law Sowjanya in Molleru Mallavaram. Watched “Chithra Haar” on Delhi Doordarshan. Went to sleep by 9:00.

23 July (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Reached Elamanchili by 10:00 by Tirumala Express. Went to the office of our degree college and asked the U.D.C. for issuance of student concession form for my quarterly railway season ticket. He said that the book was over and so a fresh one has to be obtained from Vijayawada. Today History and Political Science classes went on. Today I struggled hard to find the name of the heroine in the recently released Hindi film “Kareeb” but my effort went in vain. It is needed for me to participate in the contest of ‘Fair and Lovely’ in “Chitra Haar” telecast on Delhi Doordarshan. Had one dosa at Udipi Hotel by 2:30. Came to railway station by 3:00. Reached home by 4:15 by Tirumala Express. Watched television for some time in the evening and night. Drew lines in my long notebook for some time in the evening. Today it was very hot. Went to sleep by 9:00.

24 July (Friday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Drew lines in my long notebook for some time in the morning. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Reached Elamanchili by 10:20 by Tirumala Express. Today Politics and Economics classes went on. Afternoon had a plate of vegetable biryani at Udipi Hotel. Afternoon spent at our degree college, talking with Ashok, one of my dearest B.A. classmates. By 4:40 started toward railway station along with our lecturers and upper division clerk. This evening we (the clerk and I) had some work at Elamanchili railway station. We met the ASM (Assistant Station Master) and enquired him about how to get a Railway Student Concession Book from Vijayawada. Returned home by 5:45 by Godavari Express. Watched “Chithra Lahari” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Night it rained a bit. Went to sleep by 8:30.

25 July (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. Watched “Aaraadhana” from 5:30 to 6:00 on Delhi Doordarshan. Got ready and started to NRPM railway station by 9:00. Reached Elamanchili by 10:00 by Tirumala Express. Today lecturers came to college but classes did not go on. I am much disturbed to observe this indiscipline in the college. Came to railway station by 12:15. Reached home by 1:15 by Bokaro-Alleppey Express. By 6:00 went to Peda Gummuluru to borrow test papers from my friend but he told me to take them later. Returned home by 7:30. Watched television for some time. Night it rained a little. Went to sleep by 9:00.

26 July (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Rangoli” program on Delhi Doordarshan. Reached Elamanchili by 9:30 by Tirumala Express. Attended a work assigned by my father. Returned home by 1:30. Went to sleep by 9:00.

27 July (Monday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Watched Gemini television channel for some time. Got ready and started to NRPM railway station by 9:00. Reached Elamanchili by 10:00 by Tirumala Express. Today Politics, History and Economics classes went on. Afternoon had four samosas at Ambika Tea Stall. Came back to railway station by 3:15. Reached home by 4:15 by Tirumala Express. Today it was cloudy and cool. Night it rained a little. From 9:30 to 10:30 watched the weekly Telugu serial “Om Namassivaaya” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. The spiritual programs (based on Hindu mythology) on Delhi Doordarshan, especially the ones being presented by north Indian producers, are really commendable. Jabi Kochchar is the producer of this outstanding devotional telecast. It is a great serial. I am victimized to watch it without fail. Went to sleep by 11:00.

28 July (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Got ready and started to NRPM railway station by 9:00. Reached Elamanchili by 10:00 by Tirumala Express. Today English, History and Economics classes went on. Afternoon had a dozen bananas. By 2:00 went to post office and bought three competition postcards. Recently I started participating in television contests. It was raining due to cyclone. Reached home by 4:15 by Tirumala Express. Watched the daily Telugu serial “Ruthu Raagaalu” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Recently my digestive system failed a little. My father gives me 200 rupees a month for my expenses. That money has to be spent for all my expenses including education. I can’t eat good food during lunchtime due to this financial difficulty. My helpless and formative age is thus being crushed under the burden of these troubles. I don’t know how it affects my future. Went to sleep by 8:30.

29 July (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Watched “Yours Lovingly” telecast on Gemini television channel for some time. Got ready and started to NRPM railway station by 9:00. Reached Elamanchili by 10:00 by Tirumala Express. Attended the classes by 10:30. Today English and Economics classes went on. By 1:30 had eight small samosas for four rupees at the stall near cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir. Came back to railway station by 2:15. Waited for Tirumala Express. Reached home by 4:30. Today my body suddenly burst into sweat and I felt giddy in the classroom by 10:50. It would have occurred due to failure of my digestive system. I could not buy tablets due to my financial weakness. Evening prepared supper at home. Went to sleep by 8:30.

30 July (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready and started to NRPM railway station by 9:00. Reached Elamanchili by 9:40 by Tirumala Express. Today Economics, Political Science and English classes went on. Afternoon had eight small samosas at the stall near cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir. Today I received 60 rupees from my friend to whom I sold my first year B.A. Telugu Academy textbooks of history and political science. I felt insulted to sell books but I am helpless. Circumstances often pull a man to low standards. I am in such condition now. Bought three tablets for nine rupees for recovery of my health from mild weakness. Recently I was victimized to chocolates. It is an addition to the causes of my financial problems. I don’t think it is good for health. I decided to stop buying chocolates. Returned home by 4:30 by Tirumala Express. Evening prepared supper at home. Went to sleep by 9:00.

31 July (Friday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning it rained a bit. Watched television for some time. Got ready and started to NRPM railway station by 9:00. Reached Elamanchili by 9:30 by Tirumala Express. Moved to our degree college and spent talking with my friends for some time. Today Economics, History and Hindi classes went on. Afternoon had ten small samosas at the stall near cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir. Came back to railway station by 1:30. Waited for train. Reached home by 4:00 by Bokaro-Alleppey Express. Evening and night I was seriously engaged in selecting the most important and expected questions for the ensuing history paper in March. One can finalize such questions applying one’s talent and strategy. Even today I felt physically weak. I don’t know when I recover from this disorder. Tablets could not help me either. Went to sleep by 9:00.

1 August (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning selected important questions for preparation of economics notes. Got ready and started to NRPM railway station by 9:00. Reached Elamanchili by 9:30 by Tirumala Express. Today Economics and History classes went on. It was raining when I came out of the classroom. Had three samosas at Ambika Tea Stall along with my friends. Afternoon saw the English film “Dangerous Guy” of Jackie Chan in cinema Venkateshwara. It has ultimate fights. I felt happy for seeing such a good film. Returned home by 5:40 by Godavari Express. Night watched television for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00.

2 August (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:30. Morning watched “Rangoli” on Delhi Doordarshan. Today there were frequent power cuts. I found it boring to spend at home. Somehow spent my time. Today it was cloudy and dim. Went to sleep by 9:00.

3 August (Monday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Spent watching television for some time. Reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Attended the classes by 10:15. Today Hindi and History classes went on. Afternoon I felt sick. Had my lunch at Ambika Tea Stall. Today I borrowed the second year B.A. history textbook of Telugu Academy from our college library. Came back to railway station by 3:15. Reached home by 4:00 by Tirumala Express. Evening and night I was engaged in preparing answers to essay type questions of history in my long notebook. From 9:30 to 10:30 watched the weekly Telugu serial “Om Namassivaaya” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Today it was cool. Night it rained a bit. Went to sleep by 11:00.

4 August (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning prepared answers to essay type questions of history in my long notebook. Got ready and started to NRPM railway station by 9:00. Reached Elamanchili by 10:15 by Tirumala Express. Today History, English and Economics classes went on. Afternoon had ten small samosas at the stall near cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir. Today it was cloudy and cool. Today I bought a pack of Wilkinson blades. I observed that there is a “Win Gold” contest. Sent the filled in entry form to the given New Delhi address. Came back to railway station by 4:30. Reached home by 5:30 by Godavari Express. Today my uncle Satyanarayana Raju came from Molleru Mallavaram. Night involved myself in preparing answers to essay type questions of history in my long notebook. My prayers to Lord Gopal and Mother Saraswati! Let their blessings be upon me always. Went to sleep by 9:00.

5 August (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning prepared answers to essay type questions of history in my long notebook. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. My uncle Satya Narayana Raju accompanied me on his way to Molleru Mallavaram. I reached Elamanchili by 9:40 by Tirumala Express. Went to public library and searched through the previous issues of Telugu weekly Swati to find the answer for a question asked in the Rangoli (a program of Hindi cine songs telecast every Sunday morning) contest on Delhi Doordarshan. I could not find the answer. Today English and History classes went on. Came back to railway station by 12:15 and could luckily catch Bokaro-Alleppey Express. Reached home by 1:00. From 2:30 to 6:30 and again from 8:30 to 9:40 engaged myself in preparing answers to three essay type questions of history in my long notebook. Night watched “Chithra Haar” on Delhi Doordarshan. Today it was hot and sunny. Went to sleep by 9:45.

6 August (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning engaged myself in preparing answers to essay type questions of history in my long notebook. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Reached Elamanchili by 9:30 by Tirumala Express. Today I sent the answer for a question asked in the Telugu monthly Swati. Attended the classes by 10:30. Today only History class went on. The lecturers conducted a meeting among themselves to discuss the issue of strike by university lecturers, throughout India, which is going to be started soon. Afternoon I had seven small bananas. Went to cinema Venkateshwara and saw the Telugu film “Bhooloka Veerudu 007” (dubbed from English original) of a famous Hollywood hero. It is said that 450 crore rupees were spent to produce this film. It shows the use of ultramodern technology and application of missiles in war. It is a good film. I enjoyed watching it. Reached home by 6:00 by Godavari Express.  Night watched Eenadu television channel for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00.

7 August (Friday)

Woke up by 5:10. Today Hindu women and girls observe the holy day “Sraavana Sukra Vaaram” with spiritual interest. From 6:00 to 5:30 I was engaged in preparing answers to five essay type questions of history in my long notebook. Afternoon rested from 12:30 to 1:30. Night watched Telugu cine songs on Hyderabad Doordarshan. My thought follows, “Cinema is a good medium for entertainment. But, after the advent of private television channels, the interest for seeing films in cinemas drastically came down. ‘Too much availability of anything turns it into an object of less worth soon’ is a noticeable phenomenon in this respect. The exhibition of physical beauty by young and fair heroines is the main attraction for young and old male cinemagoers. Exposing (the exhibition of breasts and thighs in a highly tempting manner by fair and very fair heroines on silver screen) became the last resort for actresses to get more chances in films. When ethical standards fall in a male dominated society, the body parts of females entertain the world. Sensationalism and sensuality are the qualities of present film industry”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

8 August (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Started to Peda Gummuluru by 8:15. Today my paternal aunt Subhadra and family are ceremoniously entering their recently constructed new house. They arranged a feast in traditional manner. Today itself the wooden thresholds are being lifted at the basement of our house (under construction). This sacred ceremony of tradition took place by 9:27 a.m. Today I spent most of my time at the house of my paternal aunt. Also my cousin Kiran, the youngest son of my teacher uncle K V Rama Raju, came from Jaggampeta to attend this ceremony. I discussed a few things with him. Returned home by 4:00 by bus. Evening and night spent watching television. It is predicted by almanac readers that crop yields would be better this year due to the impact of characteristics of this Telugu year. Reality is to be witnessed. Went to sleep by 9:00.

9 August (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Spent most of my time at home watching television. Morning watched “Rangoli” and “Sri Krishna” programs on Doordarshan. Also watched the “Santoor Top 10” program on Gemini television channel. My salutes to Lord Gopal. Went to sleep by 9:00.

10 August (Monday)

Woke up by 5:00. Watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan in the morning. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Reached Elamanchili by 10:00 by Tirumala Express. Spent some time in public library. Attended the classes by 10:30. Today Hindi and Economics classes went on. Afternoon had six rupees of sweets (jalebi) at Ambika Tea Stall. Came back to railway station and knew that my expected train had already left. Went back toward the bus station. Spent my time reading some Telugu weeklies at the pan shop of my friend Appa Rao. Came back to railway station by 3:00. Reached home by 4:00 by Tirumala Express. Night prepared notes to short answer questions of history in my long notebook. Night I could not watch “Om Namassivaaya” serial on Doordarshan due to power cut. I felt very disappointed for being unable to participate in the bumper prize contest of this program, which would be announced toward the end of this episode today. I felt angry with God and cursed the electricity people at Koruprolu substation. Went to sleep by 11:00.

11 August (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:45. It was drizzling. Morning watched television for some time. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Reached Elamanchili by 10:20 by Tirumala Express. Today classes did not take place because the university lecturers started their strike. Afternoon had jalebi at Ambika Tea Stall. Came back to railway station by 12:30. Waited for train for 210 minutes in railway station. Reached home by 4:50 by Tirumala Express. Night prepared answers to short answer questions in my history notebook. My thought follows, “I wonder to find the Sanskrit saying Mathru Dhevobhava, Pithru Dhevobhava and Aachaarya Dhevobhava. These mantras mean that mother is the first goddess, father is the second god and teacher is the third god for anybody in this world. But these three beliefs failed now. There is much selfishness in each of these three persons. Their services demand remuneration from recipients in some form at some stage of the progression of their lives. A mother expects her children to look after her in her old age, a father does not care much for his disobedient and disloyal children and a teacher does not teach without pay for his services rendered to his pupils. These Vedic principles are good for scholars to speak on in intellectual gatherings but not for a poor man to practice in his real life”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

12 August (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. From 6:30 to 6:00 involved myself in preparing answers to 25 short note questions in my history notebook. I did it sitting in our folding chair. Night watched “Chitra Haar” on Delhi Doordarshan. My thought follows, “Marriage is/should be a cheerful and memorable event in the life of a traditional or modern man or woman. I hate the general saying in our communities that ‘a marriage should be done using a hundred lies if necessary’. One should learn to live with truths associated with the life of the partner before or after marriage. Otherwise they can’t live happily for long. This is why many marriages are failing these days. Marriage stands for a formal union of two lives of opposite sex with mutual love and respect for one another. Both of them should be puritanical before and after their marriage. This is the essential characteristic of marriage. Other factors are not vital. Marriage must take place between a true bachelor and a virgin. Bodily purity is very important. Otherwise it should not be called ‘marriage’ but a ‘licensing ceremony’. It is merely a show meant for the society organized by the elders of respective families. It is pure attraction and admiration for one another that keep two creatures united for long. When a man or woman desires or is accustomed to brutal sexual pleasures of life, there is no need of marriage. There are many avenues for one to fulfill one’s animal instincts in other ways than marriage. The institution of marriage became profane and detestable in the Indian context because to be married/married ones began to live in a carefree manner in the sexual aspects of their personal lives. One should not marry when one wants to live like a beast among human beings. Being a beast is not wrong because man is a beast according to science. They just act to appear as human beings to others”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

13 August (Thursday)

Got up by 5:00. From 6:00 to 4:00 involved myself in preparing answers to 20 short note questions in history in my long notebook. Evening and night watched Doordarshan for sometime. By 5:00 started to our mango garden near hills on our short bicycle for collecting holy leaves and flowers for the festival of Sri Krishna Janmaastami (the birth anniversary of Lord Krishna). Returned home by 6:20. My thought follows, “I wonder to observe many devotees at temples, mosques and churches showcasing their worship to their respective deities. If all these devotees are sacred in their individual lives and pure in their minds, why all this crime and evil in the society! Man can’t be as pure as he seems to be. One’s inner evil forces don’t allow one to be pure and holy. One, who can control one’s senses and sensations, can be considered a true devotee in any religion”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

14 August (Friday)

Got up by 5:00. From 6:00 to 9:00 prepared answers to seven short note questions in history in my long notebook. By 10:00 started to Raja Venkata Nagaram on our short bicycle. Returned home by 6:00. Night watched the Telugu feature film “Kranti” on Hyderabad Doordarshan for 90 minutes. My thought follows, “The greatness or value of services of some tools and vehicles such as tables and bicycles can’t be calculated or acknowledged by anybody using them. Their service to man is of selfless nature. No awards would be given for their excellence in their respective skills in the fields of their work. The invention of all these gadgets made human life very comfortable. The credit goes to those unknown (to majority of the population in the world) masters (scientists and pioneers) of the world”. Went to sleep by 11:00.

15 August (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. Today the festival of Sri Krishna Janmaastami was celebrated in our village. I spent at the temple from 9:00 to 11:30. My prayers to Lord Krishna. My best wishes to Him on the occasion of His birth anniversary. Afternoon watched the Telugu feature film “Swami Vivekananda” on Hyderabad Doordarshan for some time. Night our villagers presented a stage play (social play) in our village. I did not attend that event. Night watched attractive programs on Delhi Doordarshan marking the closing ceremony of the celebrations of the Golden Jubilee Year of India’s Independence. I felt touched to send the historical moments of India’s independence off. My salutes to our freedom fighters. Went to sleep by 9:00.

16 August (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Rangoli” and “Sri Krishna” programs on Doordarshan. Today I was sick. My salutes to Lord Gopal. My salutes to Mother Saraswati. Went to sleep by 9:00.

17 August (Monday)

Woke up by 5:30. Started to NRPM railway station by 6:45. Reached Elamanchili by 8:00 by Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger. Today I suffered from diarrhoea. I heard that this epidemic spread in our village also. I became weak. Had four samosas at Ambika Tea Stall and took two tablets at once for the remedy of this disorder. Went to Lodge Venkateshwara and spent talking with my B.A. classmate Narasinga Rao for some time. Then walked to our degree college and collected my first year B.A. marks list. I got second class. I felt disappointed. Reached home by 1:00 by Bokaro-Alleppey Express. Rested for some time. Night wrote a long letter to the Vice Chancellor of Andhra University. I made some suggestions to him to stop the university from deteriorating to further low standards and value. Night watched “Om Namassivaaya” serial on Doordarshan. Mosquitoes are actively attacking us for it is their season. Went to sleep by 11:00.

18 August (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:30. Morning simply laid down myself on cot due to physical weakness. Started to NRPM railway station by 8:45. Knew that Tirumala Express would arrive 150 minutes late. Changed my direction of journey and took Visakhapatnam-Vijayawada passenger for Tuni by 10:00. Being late I could not attend even a film in Tuni. Had some tiffin (generally consisting of any of the items of breakfast such as dosa, puree and idly in the south Indian context) at Hotel Sri Venkateshwara in Balaji Complex. Posted letters at main post office in Tuni. Came back to railway station and caught Tuni-Visakhapatnam shuttle. Reached home by 2:00. From 3:00 to 5:00 prepared answer to one short note question in history and wrote down (copying from my running notes) one mark bit questions and answers in my long notebook. Our History Lecturer C Surya Sobhan dictated one mark bit questions and answers to us in our classroom. Night watched Eenadu television channel for some time. Time is running fast. Went to sleep by 9:15.

19 August (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:20. Morning prepared one mark bit questions and answers in history from the textbook of Telugu Academy. Reached NRPM railway station by 9:00 on foot and Elamanchili by 9:30 by Tirumala Express. Today my intention in going to Elamanchili is to see the Telugu film “Genes” of Surya Movies. It is a South India based film production unit with three unique persons behind its fame. Saw that film in cinema Parameswari in the morning show. This morning I went to Government Hospital in Elamanchili for the first time. To my wonder, they gave me four small tablets for the remedy of my slightly failed digestive system due to irregular and insufficient food eating habit. Further they told me to buy some tablets outside. Government hospitals can never meet the medical needs of common people completely in India. Night watched “Chitra Haar” on Delhi Doordarshan. Went to sleep by 9:00.

20 August (Thursday)

Got up by 5:10. Went to post office in Peda Gummuluru by 8:00 on bicycle. Today I received 1763 rupees, in the form of Money Order, from Madras Engineering Group and Center, Bangalore, as arrears, recently released by the Government of India, due to the effect of Fifth Pay Commission’s revised pay scales. Thence I went to State Bank of India in Etikoppaka and deposited 1000 rupees into my savings bank account. With this, for my service (almost nothing in fact because I did nothing for this nation as a recruit. I did not stay there even until the basic training was started. My army number is 15317443 ^H, which remains in the Records Section of MEG and Center) between 1 March 1997 and 15 April 1997, in the Indian Army, the total amount of salary I got is 5,533 rupees. I wonder to find the outstanding service standards of the Indian Army in sending arrears also to a trivial recruit (who left army in days after getting the number) like me. Evening prepared one mark bit questions and answers of history in my long notebook. Night watched the Telugu program “Paaduthaa Theeyagaa” on Eenadu television channel (this is my most favorite program on television because it is being conducted by my living God S P Bala Subrahmanyam, a great singer from South India. I am his deepest admirer forever. The songs he sung for Telugu films are God’s gifts for me. I experience bliss listening to his songs). My prayers to Lord Gopal for helping me financially. Thank you dear God. Went to sleep by 9:00.

21 August (Friday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning prepared one mark bit questions and answers of history in my long notebook. Started to NRPM railway station by 8:45. Reached Elamanchili by 9:20 by Tirumala Express. Today I posted a letter to Madras Engineering Group and Center in Bangalore, commending the standards of Indian Army. Returned home by 12:00. Today my maternal aunt Bhaskaram came to our house. Evening prepared one mark bit questions and answers of history in my long notebook. By today the preparation of my history notes came to an end. By 6:00 went to Koruprolu to carry out a domestic work and returned soon. Night watched “Chitra Lahari” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Around 8:45, a serious quarrel broke out between my father and me. He says that I should tie my lungi on the waist in such a way that its end part does not touch the ground when it is left downwards freely. But I do it in such a way that it covers my ankles also when left downwards freely. I think the classic type of wearing a lungi demands that style. The parts of body can’t be kept fair unless covered properly with clothes. Exhibitionism is taboo for me. Mine may not be a great body in terms of handsomeness and strength. Whatever God gave me must be safeguarded by me carefully to hand it over to my life partner later. She shall be the authoritative person to mould me according to her aesthetic tastes (if she has any). Otherwise what would be there with me to honestly gift to my wife in case I marry somebody in future? I became emotionally furious with my father on this issue. Yet I did not explain him my rationale behind wearing lungi that way. Went to sleep by 9:30.

22 August (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:15. Reached NRPM railway station by 7:00 on foot and Visakhapatnam by 9:30 by Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger. Had my breakfast in a hotel and went to the office of N.S.S. in Andhra University by 10:00. I have to get my certificate of participation in the recently held Youth Festival in Hyderabad. They said that they did not receive those certificates yet from Hyderabad. Went to cinema Rama Devi and saw the English film “Secrets” in the matinee show. Walked through the city in the hot sun to buy a small bag (for the purpose of carrying a few pairs of clothes while on journey to the houses of relatives for attending occasions like marriages) for my uncle Rama Raju. The prices are too high to buy. Bought an English dictionary and a Tonic Writers’ guide for me at Daba Gardens. Returned home by 6:00 by Godavari Express. Night slept in the house of my uncle Rama Raju at Raja Venkata Nagaram.

23 August (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:15. Spent all my time at home. Morning watched “Rangoli” and “Sri Krishna” programs on Doordarshan. Afternoon watched the Telugu feature film “Naalugu Sthambhaalaata” on Gemini television channel. It is excellent. Went to sleep by 9:00.

24 August (Monday)

Woke up by 5:30. Morning watched television for some time. Reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Today a ticket collector caught me in the reservation compartment of Tirumala Express. He demanded a fine of ten rupees. I readily and happily paid it. Actually I have been a ticketless passenger for the last two months. Season ticket facility is an excellent opportunity provided by the Government of India to poor creatures of India like me. But many daily passengers (mostly employees) don’t buy that season ticket too. Moreover they roughly reply to the ticket collector when he demands ticket. I don’t like such impolite behavior of these nasty passengers (helpless and poor idiots should not show off before government officials) toward ticket collectors. They can’t be considered human beings unless they maintain that minimum decorum toward the representatives of public services like railways. Today I spent casually in Elamanchili. Returned home by 1:00. Night watched the weekly Telugu serial “Om Namassivaaya” on Doordarshan. Went to sleep by 11:00.

25 August (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:30. Today Hindus observe “Vinayaka Chathurdhi” in a devotional and traditional manner. I worshipped Lord Ganesh in a very ordinary way. Lord Ganesh is the supreme Hindu God in receiving the first worship from all at any spiritual occasion. May He bless and direct me always with joy of success in all my efforts on the path of glory without hurdles. Lord Vigneswara! Accept my hearty offering of devotion to You. Today I have been to Raja Venkata Nagaram. It was rainy. I like these lovely showers and breezes. Evening watched the Telugu feature film “Nirnayam” on Gemini television channel. Night watched another Telugu feature film “Sree Vinayaka Vijayam” on Hyderabad Doordarshan’s satellite channel, along with the weekly Telugu serial “Jai Hanuman” (with one hour break of the film during the slot of this serial). Went to sleep by 12:00.

26 August (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:30. Morning watched television for sometime. Went to Elamanchili by 10:00 by Tirumala Express. I went there for simply spending my time. Returned home by 4:30. Today, when I was returning from Elamanchili by Tirumala express, I saw a lovely and strong little boy of three or four years. He was very cute. My salutes to Lord Brahma’s creation! His lovely eyes and tender cheeks were terribly attractive for me. I wanted to simply bite his cheeks to control myself but it can’t be a good practice in a train. I would detrain in fifteen minutes’ time. I had to act fast to express my affection toward that boy. To express my appreciation and love toward him, I gave ten rupees to his parents and requested them to buy a biscuit packet for their little master of innocence and handsomeness. His father took the ten-rupee note from me after much hesitation. They looked poor. I felt happy for it (because I could gift him in my own poor way). I could not have done/dared so had the boy been son of a rich couple. I feel shy to caress even kids in public places. People misunderstand me if I kiss a little fellow taking him to some distance. How difficult is it to express our love or affection toward the creatures we like instantly just like that! A gentle kiss is the best gesture in such occasions but one needs a lot of courage to do it. Some idiots around comment that we are showing off too much. Hypocritical society seldom allows one to react intuitively and directly. Evening prepared supper at home. Night watched “Chitra Haar” on Delhi Doordarshan. Today it was cool and rainy. Went to sleep by 9:00.

27 August (Thursday)

Got up by 5:30. Today I spent my time at home watching television. Today it is the third anniversary of Eenadu Telugu television channel (it was launched three years ago on this date). Afternoon watched the Telugu feature film “Shankaraabharanam” on Eenadu television channel. Its director K Viswanath is a man with aesthetic sensibility and idealistic perspective toward human life. A slow, steady and orderly flow of story manifests in all his films. Indian society is mostly conventional but aesthetic taste is universal and individualistic. Caste, religion, race or any other social identity of a person should not stand a hurdle for one’s love, practice or excellence in any art field. A woman is interested in classical dance and music. A rich man exploits her physically because she belongs to a family who live by prostitution. Yet her love for dance does not die. Her teacher is progressive. He accepts her as his disciple even after this incident. But the traditional society (here based on the rigid conventions of caste system) does not approve their relationship as a teacher and disciple. A clash between idealism (personified as the teacher) and fundamentalism (the orthodox society) continues. It has an excellent ending. It is a masterpiece in the sphere of Telugu films. Went to sleep by 9:00.

28 August (Friday)

Got up by 5:30. Morning watched television for sometime. Reached Elamanchili by 9:30 by Tirumala Express. Today it was cool and cloudy healing human health to some extent. Today I saw the Telugu film “Ganesh” of Venkatesh in cinema Sita Chitra Mandir in the morning show. This film discusses the unhealthy atmosphere of government hospitals in India and the suffering of victims depending on them for their medical needs. The hypocrisy and corruption of politicians is also portrayed for the benefit of public. I recently only witnessed the nasty conditions at government hospital in Elamanchili. Poverty is not treated well by anybody in the society. Medical services meant for the poor are not an exception to this common phenomenon. The journey of a poor Indian from his birth to death is a challenge in majority of his dealings with officials and facilities provided by government. Returned home by 4:30 by Tirumala Express. Night watched Telugu serial “Antharangaalu” on Eenadu television channel. Went to sleep by 9:00.

29 August (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:30. Today I spent all my time at home. Night watched the Telugu feature film “Kanne Vayasu” on Hyderabad Doordarshan’s satellite channel. I specially appreciate this great film. In childhood, a girl spends her simple and innocent life very casually. Her vulnerable life would be subjected to many limitations by her parents and relatives once she crosses the stage of puberty. Her physical beauty blossoms day by day after this stage of her turbulent life. Men, regardless of their ages, get attracted toward such girls of flourishing beauty. They try to entrap her in many ways. In some cases, she gets attracted toward others. A girl should be very cautious at this stage. If she is unfortunately victimized to the unethical acts of any bloke, and if that event comes to the notice of the attentive and unfair society, her life is in inevitable peril. This vulnerable aspect of an innocent and beautiful girl’s life is artistically and aesthetically presented in this wonderful film. One song (E Dhivilo Virisina Paarijaathamo) in this film is a masterpiece. Went to sleep by 11:00.

30 August (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:30. Morning watched “Rangoli” and “Sri Krishna” programs on Doordarshan. Watched the “Santoor Top 10” program on Gemini television channel. Afternoon went to our mango grove at the hills and returned home by 4:30. Night watched a Telugu feature film on television. Went to sleep by 9:30.

31 August (Monday)

Got up by 5:00. Reached Visakhapatnam by 9:00 by Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger train. I went to various bookstores there looking for the textbooks of second year B.A. of Telugu Academy. My search went in vain. Today I lost 200 rupees in a game of roadside gambling. One of the folks at that game took the money from my pocket and played on my behalf. The other idiot moved some cards in a way and took all my money in a matter of seconds. I felt very depressed for being attracted toward such nasty roadside gambling to earn some money quickly. I did not have even one rupee on me after this money was lost in the game. Luckily I was very near to the railway station and so went there on foot. Took Tirumala Express and pursued a ticketless journey. Reached home by 4:00. Night watched the weekly Telugu serial “Om Namassivaaya” on Doordarshan. Night my B.A. classmate K V V S Lakshmi came into my dream. The dream brought me an admirable feeling of friendship. A friendship started and developed through greetings of facial expressions of mutual joy and comfort is truly a great friendship. I felt happy to see such a good girl in my dream. May God bless her.  Went to sleep by 11:00.

1 September (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:30. Welcome to Happy September! Morning watched television for sometime. Reached Elamanchili by 10:00 by Tirumala Express. Today a T.T.E. (Traveling Ticket Examiner) asked me to show my ticket. I have been a ticketless traveler for the last three months. He advised me to buy a season ticket soon and took away my college identity card. Today I got a message from our college principal to participate in an essay writing competition. Collected details from her. Afternoon saw the English film “Size 36”. It portrays a relationship between a teenage girl and an aged man. The presentation of the concept is good. It rained well when I was in railway station. Returned home by 4:30 by Tirumala Express. Night watched television for sometime. Went to sleep by 9:00.

2 September (Wednesday)

Got up by 5:20. Today I was completely engaged in preparing an essay for a state level essay writing competition. I collected the required information on cottage and small-scale industries and their development in Andhra Pradesh from the second year Intermediate economics textbook of Telugu medium. It took about six hours for me to prepare this essay. I wrote the beginning and ending of the essay. It has 3000 words. I think I am successful in preparing an effective essay for this competition. I generally participate in these competitions to get some money to meet my financial needs to some extent. In the present advanced economy of India, one needs much money to meet one’s daily expenses also. Night watched television for sometime. Went to sleep by 9:00.

3 September (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Went to NRPM railway station by 9:00 on our short bicycle. Reached Elamanchili by 9:30 by Tirumala Express. Today I undertook a short and quick run to reach another general compartment to escape from the T.T.E. Went to Balu Type Institute and met Vara Prasad, the head of the institute. Gave him 18 costly white papers and manuscript of my essay for competition and asked him to type it up neatly. He said he would try his best. Returned home by 12:00 by Visakhapatnam-Tuni shuttle train. Evening went to Adduroad to take a cardboard box from a medical store for keeping my books. Night watched Telugu feature film “Raamudu Kaadhu Krishnudu” on Hyderabad Doordarshan’s satellite channel. Today it is the birth anniversary of Vamana (one of the ten incarnations of Lord Vishnu). Went to sleep by 11:00.

4 September (Friday)

Got up by 5:00. Watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan in the morning. Went to our mango garden at hills by 12:00 on bicycle along with my uncle Narayana Murthy. There I had sweet jambolan plum fruit and Palmyra fruit satisfactorily. Returned home by 5:00. Night watched television for sometime. Today it was cool and drizzly. My thought follows, “According to Indian culture, a woman should lead her life confining herself to various limitations at all the stages of her life. I pity a woman’s life in India. She leads the life of a helpless servant and an honorary master of her family. There is no adequate recognition of her endless services? Who can save her from her restless and tedious life of domestic and professional burdens? Ninety per cent of the Indian women lead their lives and careers receiving commands from their arrogant men of some relation”. Went to sleep by 9:30.

5 September (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:20. Morning watched devotional songs on Delhi Doordarshan. Today also it was cool. Morning watched television for sometime. Afternoon went to Adduroad and saw the Telugu film “Rusthum” in cinema Venkatapathi Raju Mahal. Returned home by 6:00. Night watched part of the Telugu feature film “Vaarasudochchaadu” on Eenadu television channel. Today it is “Teachers Day” in India. Vedas state “Achaarya Dhevobhava” (thy teacher is God to thee). I like it but I rarely see such great and dedicated teachers in the present commercial educational system. My salutes to such great teachers, if any. Went to sleep by 9:30.

6 September (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:30. Morning watched “Rangoli” on Delhi Doordarshan. Afternoon watched the Telugu feature film “Sapthapadhi” on Eenadu television channel. It was excellent. Night too watched television. Today the university teachers called off their strike. Went to sleep by 9:00.

7 September (Monday)

Woke up by 5:30. Watched Doordarshan for some time. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Reached Elamanchili by 9:30 by Tirumala Express. Today, 28-day long nationwide strike, started by the UGC grade lecturers, has been called off. They aimed at achievement of some of their demands. It is known that two of their demands were accepted by the central government. I attended the classes by 10:30. Today it rained a bit. Today Economics, Hindi and English classes went on. Afternoon had ten small samosas for five rupees at the stall near cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir. Returned home by 4:00 by Tirumala Express. Evening prepared answers to two essay type questions in economics in my long notebook. Night watched the weekly Telugu serial “Om Namassivaaya” on Doordarshan from 9:30 to 10:30. Today it is the last day of my 22^nd year of life. Went to sleep by 11:00.

8 September (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Today it is my birthday. Today I enter my 23^rd year of life. Today it rained continuously during daytime. So, I could not go to college. I pity myself. One should celebrate one’s birthday doing something considerable or appreciable by others but today I spent very casually at home. Today I was engaged in preparing answers to essay type questions in economics in my long notebook. On this happy occasion of my life, I pray Lord Gopal to bless and direct me always. He is the producer, director, well-wisher and last resort for me. May Mother Saraswati give me ample memory and intellect to make me successful in my studies. Went to sleep by 9:00.

9 September (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:30. Today it was cloudy. Watched television for sometime. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 8:45. Knew that the train would be very late today. Reached Elamanchili by 10:30 by a lorry at a fare of six and a half rupees. Even that amount of money is considerable in my present expenditure limits. I have to spend every rupee carefully. Today only English class went on. My spent amount of six rupees could thus be worthwhile. Thank you dear God. Today I bought a medicine for getting rid of phlegm in my body. Afternoon had some tiffin. Returned home by 4:40 by Tirumala Express. Night spent my time casually. Today it was refreshing. Inviting clouds played in the sky. Went to sleep by 9:30.

10 September (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Today it rained continuously. Today I was involved in preparing answers to six essay type questions in economics in my long notebook. My thought follows, “Human life on earth is a God’s gift. How many comforts did He affectionately provide for His beloved children? Mother cherishes her infant. Parents carefully look after their little children? One enters a new world becoming youth around 20. One’s age between 20 and 40 makes the world look beautiful. If one can lead one’s life by virtues and satisfaction, abundant beauty and joy is there before him to enjoy in youth. Only a wise and lucky one can find out and enjoy all those comforts and joys of nature well at a suitable age”. Went to sleep by 8:30.

11 September (Friday)

Woke up by 5:15. It was cool in the morning and it rained a little. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Took Tirumala Express and attended the classes by 10:00. Today our degree college observes “Students Union Election” for the academic year 1998-99. Many students came to college to vote in this election. It went on from 10:30 to 11:30. Contestants hung their respective campaign banners near the college. The local police came to maintain law and order at the college. Came back to railway station by 12:00. Reached home by 1:00 by Bokaro-Alleppey Express. Afternoon watched Doordarshan for sometime. Today I prepared answers to four essay type questions in economics in my long notebook. By today the preparation of answers to essay type questions in economics was over. Went to sleep by 9:15.

12 September (Saturday)

Got up by 5:00. Today it was cool. Actually it must be a holiday today because it is the second Saturday of the month but the present chief minister of Andhra Pradesh ordered to consider second Saturday also as a working day and do “Clean and Green” activities. So, I reached our degree college by 10:00 by Tirumala Express. Participated in the local work with zeal. Pulled weeds from the college premises along with our college students. Some students only participated in this cleaning work. This is the problem in nation building also. Real contributors are always a few in any nation. Afternoon saw the English film “Girls from Sweden” along with my friend. Went to sleep by 9:00.

13 September (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:30. Watched “Rangoli”, “Sri Krishna” and “Santoor Top 10” programs on television. Today I prepared my economics notes. Went to sleep by 9:00.

14 September (Monday)

Got up by 5:20. From 6:00 to 3:30 involved myself in preparing answers to 20 short note questions in economics in my long notebook. Generally degree students don’t prepare notes at their level of studies but I am accustomed to preparing notes for long. From 3:30 to 5:00 listened to cine songs on radio. My thought follows, “Most of the phenomena and occurrences in the world carry the aspects of both good and bad. Everybody welcomes and loves good things but one, who wants to be happy, should avoid doing bad things in his daily life and be ready to face bad results for his good efforts also. Good and bad are inevitable in majority of the facets of human existence. Goodness is admired and followed by many and bad is blamed and remembered by a few. It happens in all the ages”. Night watched the weekly Telugu serial “Om Namassivaaya” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Went to sleep by 10:30.

15 September (Tuesday)

Got up by 5:20. Morning watched devotional songs on Delhi Doordarshan. Morning prepared answers to five short note questions in economics in my long notebook. Reached Elamanchili by 9:30 by Tirumala Express. Today, in the morning session, History and Hindi classes went on. No classes in the afternoon. Had four samosas at Ambika Tea Stall. Afternoon spent some time reading Telugu weeklies at the pan shop of my friend Appa Rao. Came back to railway station by 3:30. Reached home by 4:30 by Tirumala Express. Started to Adduroad on our short bicycle by 4:45. Got it repaired and returned home by 6:00. Night watched television for some time. My health is getting affected due to food being eaten during afternoons on our college working days. No solution to this problem. Went to sleep by 8:30.

16 September (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning prepared one mark bit questions and answers in history subject. Got ready soon and went to NRPM railway station by 9:00. Reached Elamanchili by 9:30 by Tirumala Express. Today English, Hindi and History classes went on. Afternoon had a dozen small bananas and a glass of cool buttermilk. Today our Hindi Lecturer Hanumantha Rao gave me a book edited by Reader’s Digest in London. It is a book of high knowledge with international standards. He told me to go through it and return it soon to him. Returned home by 4:30 by Tirumala Express. Evening and night prepared one mark bit questions and answers in economics notes from the Technical Series guide. Recently phlegm increased in my body. Cough is attacking me due to this disorder. I am drinking hot buffalo milk with pepper to get rid of it. Went to sleep by 9:00.

17 September (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched devotional songs on Delhi Doordarshan. From 6:00 to 7:30 prepared one mark bit questions and answers in my economics notebook. Watched Telugu cine songs on television for some time. Got ready and reached NRPM station by 9:00. Reached Elamanchili by 10:00 by Tirumala Express. Today many classes did not take place due to absence of many lecturers. Our Hindi Lecturer Hanumantha Rao came to our class in the first period. He talked about the film Industry for an hour and left. There was Hindi class in the afternoon. So, I spent rest of my time casually. Had ten rupees of bajjis (a south Indian dish available in small hotels and at roadside pushcarts) at Udipi Hotel. Came back to railway station by 3:00. Started running to home after detraining at NRPM station because it looked like raining very soon. Night prepared one mark bit questions and answers in economics in my long notebook. Went to sleep by 8:30.

18 September (Friday)

Got up by 5:00. Morning watched devotional songs on Delhi Doordarshan. Reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Reached Elamanchili by 9:30 by Tirumala Express. Today not a single class took place. Came back to railway station by 12:10. Caught Bokaro-Alleppey Express and reached home by 1:00. Today, at Aruna Photo Studio in Elamanchili, I was shot a full size color photograph. I feel disappointed for not having the photos of some stages of my childhood and student life, which help me in future see how I was once. I spent without my color photo for all these days. Today I felt very happy to get my color photograph taken. May God give it a good look. Evening and night prepared one mark bit questions and answers in economics in my long notebook. Today I suffered from cold and cough caused by phlegm. Minor disorders often attack me some way. Went to sleep by 9:00.

19 September (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched devotional songs on Delhi Doordarshan. Reached Elamanchili by 9:30 by Tirumala Express. Attended the classes by 10:30. Today only Economics class went on. Today I submitted my essay (typed copy) to our college principal Swarnalatha. It has to be sent to Hyderabad for the state level essay writing competition. The topic of this essay writing competition is, “Is Eco-friendly Industrial Development Possible for the Common or is it a Dream?”. I developed this essay in Telugu. Afternoon saw the English film “Police Story III” in cinema Venkateshwara. Went to sleep by 9:00.

20 September (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:30. Spent all my time at home. Watched the Telugu programs “Britannia 50-50” and “Santoor Top 10” on television. Today my uncle Satya Narayana Raju came from Molleru Mallavaram. Today it was cool. Went to sleep by 9:00.

21 September (Monday)

Got up by 5:00. Morning watched devotional songs on Delhi Doordarshan. Today I stayed at home and prepared answers to six essay type questions in politics in my long notebook. My thought follows, “How odd and surprising the formation of human body is! By physical union of a male and female, after some days, embryo forms in the womb of female. Within the expected time, a full pledged human creature comes out as an infant. Within the following 20 years, that infant becomes youth, who is ready to become father or mother to another child. Who taught the infant to maintain silence while it is in the womb of its mother and to cry when it comes into the visible creation of God. Perhaps there might be an invisible director behind this play of beautiful creation and destruction”. Night watched the weekly Telugu serial “Om Namassivaaya” on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Went to sleep by 11:00.

22 September (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched devotional songs on Delhi Doordarshan. Prepared answer to one essay type question in political science in my long notebook. Watched Gemini television channel for some time. Then got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Reached Elamanchili by 9:40 by Tirumala Express. Attended the classes by 10:15. Today English and Economics classes went on. Returned home by 2:00 by Bokaro-Alleppey Express. Evening and night prepared answers to two essay type questions in politics in my long notebook. For the last three months, I have been participating in various contests being conducted by television channels and Telugu weeklies. I am spending much money to buy competition postcards. I am doing it with the hope that luck cooperates to me in winning prizes. Went to sleep by 8:30.

23 September (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning prepared answer to one essay type question in political science in my long notebook. Reached Elamanchili by 9:30 by Tirumala Express. Today I collected the answer and sent it by competition postcard to “Thums Up Thunder” monthly contest on Eenadu television channel. Today only English class went on. Returned home by 2:30 by Bokaro-Alleppey Express. From 3:00 to 4:30 prepared answer to one essay type question in political science in my long notebook. Recently my mother was affected by a health disorder. She says that she is sensing pain due to movement of something around her heart. She became a little weak. She is taking medicines prescribed by Dr Srinivas in Adduroad. I think these doctors are unfit for properly diagnosing and treating a hidden disorder effectively in time. May God bless their helpless and innocent patients. Evening prepared supper at home. Went to sleep by 8:30.

24 September (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning prepared lunch at home because my mother is sick. Watched television for some time. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Reached Elamanchili by 9:30 by Tirumala Express. Spent some time at the pan shop of my friend Appa Rao. Attended the classes by 10:30. Today only Political Science class went on for 30 minutes. Had a plate of vegetable biryani for six rupees at Udipi Hotel. Then had two glasses of buttermilk. Today it was hot. Missed Bokaro-Alleppey Express. Came back from railway station and spent some time at the shop of my friend. Reached home by 4:15 by Tirumala Express. Evening prepared supper at home. Night prepared answer to one essay type question in political science in my long notebook. My mother’s sickness is on. Went to sleep by 8:30.

25 September (Friday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning prepared answer to one essay type question in political science in my long notebook. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Took Tirumala Express and attended the classes by 10:30. Today two classes went on but I could not attend them, as I was involved in preparing a parcel to send to Hyderabad. Recently four students of our degree college submitted their essays for the state level essay writing competition. Our principal assigned me the duty of sending these essays to Hyderabad. Afternoon had a plate of vegetable biryani at Udipi Hotel. By 2:40 went to main post office in Elamanchili and booked the bundle of essay copies in registered parcel to Hyderabad. Returned home by 4:00 by Tirumala Express. Night, in our village, at the temple of Lord Rama, a Hirakatha was narrated by Indira Bala, a famous personality in this art field. Went to sleep by 11:00.

26 September (Saturday)

Got up by 5:00. Morning watched devotional songs on Delhi Doordarshan. Prepared answer to one essay type question in political science in my long notebook. Reached Elamanchili by 9:30 by Tirumala express. Today no classes went on. Today Dasara holidays for 25 days were announced in our college. Returned home by 2:00 by Bokaro-Alleppey Express. Evening and night prepared answers to two essay type questions in political science in my long notebook. By today the preparation of essay type questions and answers in political science came to an end. Today it was cool and rainy. Went to sleep by 8:30.

27 September (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Rangoli” program on Delhi Doordarshan. Watched the Telugu program “Santoor Top 10” on Gemini television channel. Started to Adduroad on bicycle by 1:15. Saw the Telugu film “Ooyala” in the matinee show. Went to sleep by 9:00.

28 September (Monday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched devotional songs on Delhi Doordarshan. From 6:30 to 4:00 prepared answers to 20 short note questions in political science in my long notebook. Night watched the weekly Telugu serial “Om Namassivaaya” on Doordarshan from 9:30 to 10:30. My thought follows, “Some saints say that there is another world where one’s departed soul needs to spend after one’s death. There is none capable of seeing it and then talking about its existence with other living human beings. It is believed by Hindus that Lord Yama Dharma Raju is the supreme commander of that secret world located somewhere in the sky (cosmic space). Millions of people in this world are non-vegetarians (who eat meat as a dish killing animals and birds). They must be punished for their violence against other helpless creatures on the earth planet. It became a common phenomenon all over the world. Then, can the kingdom of Lord Yama be spacious enough to punish all these culprits and sinners?”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

29 September (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Took Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger train by 7:30 and reached Duvvada by 10:30. Thence proceeded to old Gajuwaka in an auto rickshaw. Walked much through the streets of area of Pantulu Gari Meda to find the retail store where I have to collect the Santoor products. My brother Srinivas recently won an early bird prize in “Santoor Top 10” contest on Gemini television channel. He can take any products of Santoor, which totally cost 101 rupees, from any nearby authorized dealer of these products of the company. I showed him the prize intimation letter sent by Gemini television channel and took toilet soaps for the given amount of money. Thereafter saw the English film “Dark Dancer” in cinema Lakshmi. Came to Anakapalle by a lorry. From there took Godavari Express to NRPM station. Today I became weak due to lack of proper food and much walk in the town. It was rainy today. Went to sleep by 9:00.

30 September (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. From 6:00 to 4:00 prepared answers to 20 short note questions in political science in my long notebook. Night watched television for some time. My thought follows, “In the recent times it has become common that some aristocrats go to examination paper evaluation centers, and, using their political and financial powers, they see that their sons and daughters get good marks. I am disturbed to observe these trends in India. A time of ‘buying education’ has come replacing the concept of ‘acquiring knowledge through effort’. Then, what about all the bookworms, who spend most of their time in their studies to get good marks through their hard work. It means India has deteriorated in its standards of institutional learning also”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

1 October (Thursday)

Got up by 5:00. Morning watched devotional songs on Delhi Doordarshan. Today Hindus are enthusiastically celebrating Dasara festival but I spent it very normally. On this occasion, my folks at home got the throat of a cock cut for cooking chicken curry. May Mother Durga Devi bless his departed soul. Today I went to the house of my uncle Rama Raju at Raja Venkata Nagaram on bicycle and returned home by 5:00. Today I prepared answers to ten short note questions in political science in my long notebook. Night spent watching television. My prayers to Mother Saraswati to bless me with enough courage to face tough situations in my life of learning. May Her blessings be with me. Happy Dasara went off. Went to sleep by 9:15.

2 October (Friday)

Got up by 5:15. Morning watched devotional songs on Delhi Doordarshan. Spent watching television till 9:30. Moved to Peda Gummuluru by 10:30 on bicycle. Today is a great day on which years ago a noble personality came onto the Indian soil. Later no such ideal person visited Indian soil. O father of my nation! Receive my gratitude to you from your celestial abode of virtues. Dear grandfather! Of late our India degraded a lot in adherence to ideals. Today the construction of sunshades (in our local context, the protective extensions from walls covering the upper sides of windows meant for avoiding the entry of rain and sunshine into house) took place at our house (under construction) in Peda Gummuluru. I spent my time there with my brother Sambha. It was completed today. Night watched television for some time. Went to sleep by 9:15.  

3 October (Saturday)

Got up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Went to post office at Peda Gummuluru by 8:00 to stamp and post an envelope to my brother Srinivas. Returned home by 10:00. Today it was very hot. From 2:00 to 4:30 prepared one mark bit questions and answers in political science in my long notebook. From 9:00 to 12:00 watched the Telugu feature film “Criminal” of Nagarjuna on Gemini television channel. The lovable acting of Manisha Koirala, the most beautiful Bollywood heroine, attracted my heart throughout the film. Oh God! Your creation is very inspiring and enticing. Went to sleep by 12:10.

4 October (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Spent most of my time at home watching television. Evening prepared political science notes. Evening watched the Telugu feature film “Neti Siddhaardha” on television. Evening it was announced on Eenadu television channel that I won a consolation prize in the “Thums Up Merupu Dhaadi” contest. I felt happy at it. Went to sleep by 9:00.

5 October (Monday)

Got up by 5:00. Morning watched devotional songs on Delhi Doordarshan. Reached Elamanchili by 10:00 by Tirumala Express. Went to our degree college and met our Hindi lecturer Hanumantha Rao. Asked him to point to important questions in Hindi subject to prepare for my ensuing annual exams. He agreed to do so. Afternoon it rained a little in Elamanchili. My friend Gangadhar and I reached Visakhapatnam by 4:00 by Tuni-Vizag shuttle train. We went to office of Vaartha (a Telugu daily) at Jagadamba center and asked for “Britannia 50-50 Coupons” (needed for participating in a television contest). They said they are not available. Reached home by 8:00 ending a futile journey. Night watched “Om Namassivaaya” serial on Hyderabad Doordarshan. Went to sleep by 11:00.

6 October (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched devotional songs on Delhi Doordarshan. Started to NRPM railway station by 8:45 and reached Elamanchili by 9:30 by Tirumala Express. Went to our degree college and met our Hindi lecturer. Took my books from him. Returned home by 1:00. At once started to Peda Gummuluru. Took an auto rickshaw on the NRPM railway flyover and reached our house (under construction). Presently the construction of walls on the recently built sunshades is going on under the supervision of my brother Samba. I supervised the construction work when he left for meeting the planner to discuss the height of walls. Returned home by 6:00. Night prepared Hindi notes. Went to sleep by 9:00.

7 October (Wednesday)

Got up by 5:00. Morning watched devotional songs on Delhi Doordarshan. Prepared Hindi notes from 7:00 to 12:00. Had my lunch and started to NRPM railway station by 1:00. Went to our degree college by 2:30. Our Hindi lecturer told us to attend Hindi classes even in the holidays. But, when we few Hindi students went to college for his class, he was involved in his duty of temporary college principal (Swarnalatha was recently transferred to another college). We felt disgusted at his behavior. At last he came to the class and told us that he would be busy for the day in his office work. Returned home by 6:00 by Godavari Express. Night prepared Hindi notes for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00.

8 October (Thursday)

Got up by 4:30. Morning watched devotional songs on Delhi Doordarshan. From 7:00 to 3:30 prepared Hindi notes. From 3:40 to 4:30 ironed my clothes. Night watched television for some time. My thought follows, “Mercy and cruelty have their own impact on human lives. The discourses of Lord Buddha (the focus being on necessity of mercy by man toward other creatures) made him a famous international spiritual figure. Even today, the great principles and acts taught and practiced by such noble personalities of the world, are respected and followed by many all over the world. Also, the famous dictators like Napoleon and Hitler have their impact on human society. Some are following such lifestyles. People that represent virtue (based on mercy toward others) can freely and happily move in the world and spread their respective messages of salvation. People that represent vice (based on cruelty which aims at attracting others by force) live in secret places fearing death all the time. Both of them get popularity in the world but the difference can be easily understood. Virtue is believed and upheld by many but vice is supported and followed by a few”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

9 October (Friday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched devotional songs on Delhi Doordarshan. Today I spent most of my time at home preparing Hindi notes and watching television. Today it was cool and rainy. My thought follows, “The supremacy and greatness of a human being depend on his controlling power over his senses. Floating and unethical impulses and passions in personal and professional lives carry majority of the humanity away. They run in various directions always. It is their nature. Human thoughts can be compared to the acts of a monkey. It gets attracted toward many and so spoils them just like that because it can’t eat or drink all of them though it desires so before indulging in such crazy acts. If such shallow human thoughts are left free and put into action, man’s degradation starts immediately. The tragedy of results may not be felt at once but it emerges soon. A man with controlling power on his thoughts and actions can direct his life well without advice or assistance from others. We can find very few with these qualities”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

10 October (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Indira Nayika, an excellent singer (as I rate on the spot according to my intuition) sang some devotional songs today in this program, which touched the peak of devotion and melody. I wanted to convey my appreciation for her singing. So, at once, I wrote a letter of commendation in English and addressed it to Akaashavani and Doordarshan Bhawan in New Delhi. Posted it today. Spent rest of the time watching television. Today my school friend Datla Srinivasa Raju spent in our house. Went to sleep by 9:00.

11 October (Sunday)

Woke up by 6:00. My friend Srinivasa Raju is still with us. By 11:00 both of us started to Tuni. From 1:00 to 4:15 we watched the “New Grand Circus” in the playground of Raja College. Went to sleep by 9:00.

12 October (Monday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Today I stayed at home and prepared English notes. Watched television for sometime. Today it rained continuously. Night watched weekly Telugu serial “Om Namassivaaya” on Doordarshan. My thought follows, “Animals can be free and happy as long as they live there where they are born. Once they are brought into human habitations by the interest or force of man, they become miserable and inactive to adjust to the new environment. Where they are living and how their owners or caretakers are looking them after is not important but are they living in their natural environment or not is important. They feel homesick and forsaken when separated from their parents and friends by selfish man. We find very few noble men and women who treat animals also as human beings. Majority of the owners of animals know how to exploit their services but not how to understand their sensitive mentalities and lifestyles. Courts of law cannot solve these problems of animals (because they are unable to solve human issues) but human hearts with sympathy and empathy for those helpless and voiceless creatures”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

13 October (Tuesday)

Got up by 5:15. Morning watched devotional songs on Delhi Doordarshan. Today I stayed at home and prepared English notes. Watched television for some time. My thought follows, “Emotional and passionate love, especially between a boy and girl of sensitivity and innocence, is sweet and effective. They can enjoy every moment in that young and budding love relationship between them. Such happy days cannot be found in their latter stages of life. The more the couple is disobedient and careless toward the society, the more it can enjoy the sweetness of love between them. Healthy bodies and imaginative thoughts of young lovers make their feelings and acts of love sweeter and blissful. Their heavenly dreams are greater than the earthly luxuries and enjoyments of ordinary blokes in the world. People that appreciate such love and help them unite through social contract are blest and the rest are the worst of the humankind. One should fall in love a hundred times to understand that great feeling and suffering for the other. Marriage with somebody puts an end to that desirable and celestial bliss of love”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

14 October (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Today I prepared English notes and watched television for some time. My thought follows, “In the modern times, settlement (finding a good way of earning money to live happily with life partner) in life became a big problem for youth. Also, a man, who has no attractive earning capability, has no value in the present competitive marriage market. Even society regards a good earner as a respectable person on earth. How much difficulty one is experiencing to receive remuneration from the employer is an unnecessary matter for the social beings but what sort of lifestyle is he maintaining is all that they want to examine and appreciate. How selfish and narrow-minded society is! Its nature is to criticize the poor and helpless ones and appreciate the successful and rich ones. One must be very careful in dealing with such cruel societies (present throughout the world and so no way to run away). One can live happily in a forest among uncivilized tribes but not in a civilized society. Civilization neglects victims and admires victors”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

15 October (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Prepared English notes from 6:30 to 7:40. Reached Elamanchili by 9:30 by Tirumala Express. Collected information about the first film of Ajay Devgan (Phool Aur Kaante) and sent it by competition postcard to the organizers of the ‘Fair and Lovely’ contest in “Chitra Haar” program on Delhi Doordarshan. It was raining. Came back to railway station by 11:30 and knew that the shuttle train had just left. Had five bananas and one chapati in a hotel by station road. Took Tirumala Express by 3:30 and reached home by 4:00. Spent rest of the time watching television. The recent cyclone (one week ago) badly affected the human life and crops throughout the nation. Went to sleep by 9:00.

16 October (Friday)

Got up by 5:00. Morning watched devotional songs on Delhi Doordarshan. Today I was involved in preparing my English notes for ten hours. By today the preparation of all my five notes (of five subjects) came to an end. Preparing notes for any subject is not an easy thing, as one, who never prepares notes, considers. It should not be blind copy of matter from a test paper, textbook or guide (material prepared by others investing their intelligence and hard work). If it is done so, it cannot be said to be the right way of preparing notes. One’s creativity must be added to the given subject matter and unnecessary content must be avoided carefully. Adequate and relevant content must be presented in a few sentences. Only intelligent and patient creatures can prepare effective notes, which would be useful even to others later. Education becomes easy through following notes because it is a method of simplifying and streamlining our preparation for examinations from the beginning. Went to sleep by 9:00.

17 October (Saturday)

Got up by 5:00. Morning watched devotional songs on Delhi Doordarshan. Today I spent at home watching Doordarshan, Gemini and Eenadu television channels. My thought follows, “The feelings of a person depend on the nature of one’s heart (psyche moulded and influenced by one’s age and craze for the outer world). Human heart changes its pulse rate depending on the content and emotional depth of the feelings it is going to express through mouth. A beautiful girl’s glance at a boy (should not be a pervert) can make him a Romeo in his dreamland for some days and nights. The same girl’s enticing smile can do nothing when targeted at an old man. The latter’s heart is old like his age. It can’t enjoy the smile of a beauty”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

18 October (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:30. Morning watched “Rangoli” program on Delhi Doordarshan. Afternoon went to the house of my uncle Rama Raju at Raja Venkata Nagaram on bicycle. Today I entered a well for the first time to learn swimming. My uncle and his associates in the coconut garden helped me in this regard. My uncle tied a rope to my waist and allowed me into well to learn swimming. My salutes to Goddess Ganga. Went to sleep by 9:00.

19 October (Monday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Today Diwali (Deepavali, the Hindu festival of lamps representing the brilliance of human life on earth desired by man in darkness) is being celebrated all over India. I spent at home very casually. A festival brings collective joy into a society (a complex of many families). Night ten rupees of firecrackers were used at our house. On this occasion, I pray Goddess Lakshmi (the Hindu Goddess of wealth portfolio) to bless me. She has been bothering me for long. Without money, I am leading a hard life. May Mother Saraswati give me sharp brain filled with intelligence and discretion. May Lord Gopal bless me with love of a beautiful Gopika (the 16000 females who passionately and devoutly admired Lord Krishna when He was in His prime youth in Brindavan. Why doesn’t He provide me with one). May all my days run well. Went to sleep by 9:00.

20 October (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Spent watching television for some time. By 9:00 went to a nearby well (a big one in the paddy fields of our village) along with my brother Sambha and some other folks in our village. Even today I could not find betterment in my swimming practice (my brother leaves me slowly into well tying a long rope to my waist, the end of which he keeps in his hands standing outside the well. I should learn swimming moving my hands and legs in water. Other folks learnt/learn swimming just like that. I remained a buffoon never being able to learn that great skill. I don’t like being among others with only an underwear on my body below. I have thin body. I don’t know why God stuffed me with such heavy amount of shyness and aversion toward exhibitionism. I like to join the Coast Guard of Indian Navy, which requires all candidates to be good at swimming). I pray Goddess Ganga to bless me. O Mother! Save me. I am Thy child. Is it justifiable on mother’s part to show such cruelty towards her kid? Please mother, bless me with the art of swimming. Otherwise there is no life to me (in the context of my failure to do Coast Guard job wherein one needs to spend majority of one’s professional life in vessels on sea safeguarding the regional waters from the entry/attack of others from enemy countries). I try to learn it systematically for some more days. Later the choice of saving me will be left to You. I would jump into You. Today I have been to Elamanchili. Went to sleep by 9:00.

21 October (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and moved to NRPM railway station to catch Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger. Returned home by 4:30 by Tirumala Express. Today I bought some books to prepare for my Coast Guard test. Night I enjoyed the blissful moments of a heavenly and lovely dream. The sequence of events in my dream is as follows, “First she lies on a cot remaining awake. She secretly looks into my eyes. I too do the same lying on a cot beside hers. This great scene captured my heart. Then she serves some pickle on a plate but I reject it. She suffers internally. And some other scene, which I forgot after getting up from my sleep. I experienced bliss witnessing that heavenly dream. Thank you dear God for your pity upon me and offering such a fantastic dream to me as a gift. Went to sleep by 9:00.

22 October (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Today I spent my time at home. Scanned the Coast Guard guide for some time. From 12:30 to 3:00 watched the Telugu feature film “Police Officer” on Gemini television channel. Night watched the Telugu feature film “Akbar Saleem Anarkali” of Bala Krishna on Hyderabad Doordarshan’s satellite channel. I liked this film very much. It portrays the love of Saleem for Anarkali, who was given that name by Akbar (the father of Saleem) for her exemplary skills in classical dance. The concept of formation and development of love between a prince and a simple dancer was uniquely and captivatingly presented in this film. Deepa (a beautiful actress), who played the role of Anarkali, acted well. I liked the exceptional performance of all the artistes in this film. I like to give 85 marks for 100 to this film. Went to sleep by 11:00.

23 October (Friday)

Woke up by 5:00. Took Tirumala Express and attended the classes by 10:30. The October exams (March, April, September and October are the famous months for examinations in the context of the state of Andhra Pradesh in its school and college educational system) are still going on in our classrooms. Today classes did not take place due to this. So, I went to cinema Sita Chitra Mandir and saw the English film “Dream Lover”. A small boy secretly observes the undressing of a woman by herself. His mother harshly reprimands him on that account. He is highly affected by her words of correction. Twenty years pass on. He becomes a professor in physics. He invents an injection, which makes a living being invisible once it enters the body. Other researchers laugh at his invention. He severely beats them. He gets arrested and imprisoned for it. He escapes from jail. He injects the medicine (his invention) into his body and becomes invisible to others. He kills many men and women in this state of his body and mind. The story is not extraordinary but picturization is engaging. Went to sleep by 9:00.

24 October (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Today “Naagula Chavithi” (the Hindu festival associated with the worship of serpents) is being observed. Morning went to our mango garden along with my parents and brother Sambha for pouring cow milk in anthills for snakes. People are irrational and illogical blokes. They are blind creatures (though they have eyes which can see the world). If a snake appears on their way, they try to kill it at once but do not worship it. Such cowardly nuts perform these acts of special worship on festivals. Today I became a fool. A true devotee must worship them at any occurrence of their presence around him or her. I must practice this virtue first. Went to sleep by 9:00.

25 October (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Today I wrote a write-up in Telugu on love to participate in the “Premante Idheraa” contest announced on Gemini television channel. Spent most of my time watching television. Went to sleep by 9:00.

26 October (Monday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched devotional songs on Delhi Doordarshan. Spent watching television for some time. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Reached Elamanchili by 9:30 by Tirumala Express. Posted an envelope to Gemini television channel in Hyderabad to participate in a contest. Today Economics and History classes went on. Afternoon had three rupees of Jalebi at Ambika Tea Stall. Came back to railway station by 2:00. We four friends (daily passengers by train) had a discussion on the trends of human relations in the present society. We concluded that most of today’s men and women lack moral values. Night scanned my Coast Guard guide for some time. Went to sleep by 8:00.

27 October (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Scanned my small general knowledge book for one hour. Got ready and went to railway station. Caught Tirumala Express and reached Elamanchili by 9:30. Spent in public library for one hour and then went to our degree college. Today English, Economics and History classes went on. Afternoon had one plate of vegetable biryani at Udipi Hotel. Came back to railway station by 2:00. Spent with my college friends discussing general knowledge points for some time. Returned home by 4:40 by Tirumala Express. Today I felt disturbed and so did not study. Watched television for some time. Went to bed by 8:00. Went to sleep by 9:00.

28 October (Wednesday)

Got up by 5:00. Attended the classes by 10:30. Today History, Economics and English classes went on. Returned home by 1:30 by Bokaro-Alleppey Express. Spent rest of my time at home casually. My thought follows, “Man’s life is highly associated with sexual dealings. In this world, almost all are skilled ones in the art of reproduction. That’s why this creation has been running on without any problem. Births and deaths are apparent and inevitable phenomena in this world. Natural attraction makes two opposite genders join physically. It is inbuilt quality of living beings. Humans are basically brutes in sexual desires. But one’s self-control (for the sake of societal norms and spiritual beliefs) overrides them. So, they remain human beings practicing some virtues”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

29 October (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning prepared breakfast at home. Today it rained due to cyclonic effect. Recently my digestive system was severely affected. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Today English, History and Economics classes went on. Returned home by 4:30 by Tirumala Express. Spent rest of my time at home casually. My thought follows, “In general, man is a brute in terms of his sexual instincts and other hidden passions of oddity and eccentricity. Lust is the worst quality in humanity, which makes them lose common sense and ethics at times. Rigid social norms and other regulatory forces keep him in limits always. Thus every sensible man and woman dies not being completely satisfied in his or her sexual desires”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

30 October (Friday)

Woke up by 5:00. Spent at home all the day. Skimmed general knowledge book in preparation for the forthcoming Coast Guard (an important branch of Indian Navy) examination. Night watched television for some time. My thought follows, “Man is mostly selfish. He takes care of those from which he can get his expected results and benefits. When a cow becomes old and can’t give milk, its master sells it even to a butcher. He rears fowls for some days and then cuts their throats for meat. He loves his spouse because she serves him better than a paid servant. He cannot tolerate her opposition to anything, which he orders her to do. I emphasize the male race in particular. They are very selfish. They are detestable creatures on earth. One can check the history of the world for substantial proofs in this regard”. Went to sleep by 10:00.

31 October (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. It rained heavily today due to the impact of cyclone caused by depression over the Bay of Bengal. Went through my Coast Guard preparation book for some time. When it was raining, I stepped out with an umbrella by 9:15 and reached NRPM railway flyover. Went to State Bank of India in Etikoppaka by bus and withdrew 500 rupees from my savings account for my expenses during the ensuing Coast Guard selection at INS-CIRCARS. Rest of the day spent watching television. Went to sleep by 9:30.

1 November (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:30. Morning watched “Rangoli” program on Delhi Doordarshan. Afternoon went to Visakhapatnam by train. Thence moved to Gajuwaka. Night stayed in Sri Prabha Lodge over there. Tomorrow I have to attend the Coast Guard selection test.

2 November (Monday)

Got up by 4:00 in Sri Prabha Lodge at Gajuwaka. Freshened up myself and went to Scindia by a city bus. Thence moved to INS-CIRCARS. There I was informed that the Coast Guard selection was taking place at District Headquarters No. 6 for Coast Guard establishment. After much effort (in an auto rickshaw) I could locate the venue of selection. Verbal and nonverbal written tests were conducted in the first round. For the ones that qualified in this test, another written test was conducted. I failed in the first test itself and felt happy. Took a firm decision immediately (partly out of frustration) not to try for defense jobs any more in my future. Walked about a kilometer and thence went to Lodge Dakshayani in an auto rickshaw. Had my supper at a roadside hotel. Went to sleep by 10:00.

3 November (Tuesday)

Woke up by 6:00 in Lodge Dakshayani. Today I wanted to enjoy myself spending in the city. Took a bath and went towards Jagadamba center. Bought some old magazines and scanned them for some time. By 9:30 went to cinema Jagadamba and stood first in the queue to buy a ticket for a film in cinema Sharada. Saw the English film “Woman of Desire” in the morning show. Came out and had my lunch at Hotel Sabari. Then saw another English film “My Tutor” in cinema Manorama. It is all for celebrating my life in my present financial state. Went back to Lodge Dakshayani by 5:30 and vacated my room 306. Returned home by 9:15 by Visakhapatnam-Kakinada passenger train. Today it is Kaartheeka Pournami (an auspicious day according to Telugu calendar). Went to sleep by 10:00.

4 November (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning did not do any significant work. Went to NRPM station by 9:00. Reached Elamanchili by 10:00 by Tirumala Express. Knew that no classes take place today because many lecturers were absent. So, went to cinema Venkateshwara and saw the Telugu film “Sri Sita Ramula Kalyaanamu Choothamu Raarandi” in the morning show. Because films are based on fiction aimed at entertaining man for some time, one should not see films with a critical eye. Only then one can enjoy most of the films. It is a passionate love story of youth. Afternoon had 12 sugar-coated biscuits (the price of the pack was five rupees) of NICE brand (being manufactured at a unit in Hyderabad). Returned home by 4:30 by Tirumala Express. Night watched television for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00.

5 November (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 6:45. Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger had already left the station. I was disappointed. Went to the flyover and took an auto rickshaw to Adduroad. Thence took a lorry for Elamanchili. Attended the classes by 9:00. Today English, Economics and History classes went on. Afternoon had two packs of NICE biscuits for ten rupees. Spent some time at the pan shop of my friend Appa Rao. Came back to railway station by 2:30. Waited for train for one hour. Reached home by 4:10 by Tirumala Express. Rest of the day spent watching television. Recently our college working hours were changed. Now they are from 9:00 to 2:20. This time schedule is much problematic for me but the orders are so. Went to sleep by 9:00.

6 November (Friday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:55. Took Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger and reached Elamanchili by 7:30. Spent my time casually until the college was opened. Today Hindi and Economics classes went on. It rained a little. Afternoon had one dosa at a roadside hotel. Today I paid my college fee; 180 rupees in the form of challan at State Bank of India. Came back to the station soon and caught Bokaro-Alleppey Express. Afternoon my uncle Satya Narayana Raju came from Molleru Mallavaram. He said that Sujan (his grandson and my nephew of about two years) became very stubborn and unbearable in his behavior. What to do! One’s age has such impact on one’s life. Evening prepared Hindi notes for some time. Night watched television for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00.

7 November (Saturday)

Woke up by 4:30. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:55. Reached Elamanchili by 8:00 by Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger. Went to public library and spent there till 8:45. Attended the classes by 9:00. Today Economics and History classes went on. Today I had one pack of NICE biscuits. Afternoon saw the Telugu film “Kaala Raathri 12 Gantalu” in cinema Sita Chitra Mandir. Returned home by 5:50 by Godavari Express. From 6:00 to 8:30 watched the Telugu feature film “Abhinandhana” on Eenadu television channel. Went to sleep by 9:30.

8 November (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Spent most of my time at home watching television. Night went to Etikoppaka along with my friends to enjoy myself in the “Bandimaamba Annual Fair” going on over there. Returned home and went to sleep by 2:00.

9 November (Monday)

Woke up by 5:30. By 10:00 my uncle Satya Narayana Raju and my brother Sambha left for Molleru Mallavaram. All the day I stayed at home and spent much of my time watching television. Evening prepared Hindi notes for some time. My thought follows, “Collegiate life is a memorable period in one’s life. One should enjoy it in a proper way. ‘What is proper’ should depend and be decided based on one’s financial status and individual preferences. It is enough if one’s actions do not ruin one morally and do not hurt others in any way. In classroom, one can spend happily talking with one’s friends and trying to fall in love with somebody (one-way love is common phenomenon in colleges). Such crazy attitude cannot be found in one’s latter life when endless responsibilities prevail upon one. Considerable devotion (not extreme dedication) toward one’s studies can bring one a certificate which helps one’s career later”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

10 November (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:30. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:45. Entered public library by 8:00 and spent there reading weeklies till 8:50. Attended the classes by 9:00. Today Economics and English classes went on. Afternoon had one pack of NICE biscuits. I bought it from the outlet at cinema Parameswari. Took Bokaro-Alleppey Express by 12:30 and reached home by 1:00. The recently introduced change to our college timings is badly affecting me. I have to start early in the morning eating my breakfast hurriedly. Afternoon I take some useless stuff for my lunch. Evening I return home with a weak body. There is no way to avoid it. Thus I am being victimized from all the corners. Night prepared Hindi notes for some time. Today I posted a letter to S P Bala Subrahmanyam, my most favorite singer from the Telugu film industry. Went to sleep by 8:30.

11 November (Wednesday)

Woke up from sleep by 4:00. Remained on cot till 5:15 because there were no urgent works to be attended that early in the morning. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:45. Reached Elamanchili by 8:00 and proceeded to public library. Attended the classes by 9:00. Today English, Political Science and History classes went on. A slip test was conducted in the history class on the greatness of the period of Akbar. I did well in the test. Came back to the station by 12:15 and caught Visakhapatnam-Tuni shuttle train. Today also I had one pack of sugarcoated NICE biscuits. Had my lunch at home by 1:00. Rest of the day spent watching television. Taught English for some time to a ninth standard student in our neighborhood (the appropriate word might be ‘tuition’). Night wrote an application to give to our college principal. Went to sleep by 8:30.

12 November (Thursday)

Woke up by 4:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:45. Reached Elamanchili by 7:30. From 8:00 to 8:45 spent in public library. Attended the classes by 9:00. Today English, Political Science, Economics and History classes went on. Afternoon had ten small bananas and one pack of NICE biscuits. Came back to station by 2:00. Our lecturers Prabhakara Rao (Economics) and Surya Sobhan (History) were also there at the station waiting for train. I too sat beside them waiting for the same train. Reached home by 4:00 by Tirumala Express. Evening provided tuition for one hour to the ninth standard student in our neighborhood. Night did history map pointing exercise for some time. Night it turned cool. My prayers to Lord Gopal. May Mother Saraswati bless me. Went to sleep by 9:00.

13 November (Friday)

Woke up by 4:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:45 along with my father. We took Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger and reached Visakhapatnam by 9:30. Thence we took a city bus and moved to Kalyani Hospital (of Indian Navy meant for the defense personnel and their dependents) at Malkapuram. My father has been suffering from leg pain for long. The doctor at hospital advised him to consult another doctor in the Surgery Department on the following Tuesday. We took a city bus and moved to old Gajuwaka. There we had our lunch at Sai Baba Mess. Thence we took a lorry for Adduroad. A minor disorder (requiring a bit of repair by driver) affected the lorry before the level crossing at Elamanchili. I got off it and reached the nearby railway station by a bit of walk along the railway track (trains have been my close friends for long). Took Godavari Express by 5:15 and reached home by 6:00. Went to sleep by 9:00.

14 November (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. Today it was cool. All the day stayed at home and spent watching television. Afternoon watched the Telugu feature film “Veta” of Chiranjeevi on Eenadu television channel. Today it is the birth anniversary of Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru, which is being observed as Children’s Day for long. It is believed that Nehru loved children very much. He preferred spending with children at leisure. I think that not only Nehru but every good-hearted human being loves children, especially the ones below the age of ten, who remain untouched by bad standards of the present pervert and corrupt society. Went to sleep by 9:00.

15 November (Sunday)

Low pressure developed over the Bay of Bengal. It brought gales and rain along with it. This is severely affecting the coastal districts of Andhra Pradesh. The electricity supply was off from 6:00 in the morning due to this.

16 November (Monday)

Woke up by 4:00. By this morning the cyclone had almost ceased. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:45. Took Vijayawada-Visakhapatnam passenger. It was three hours late today. To my wonder, big trees in Elamanchili were uprooted by the recent cyclone. Some roads remained blocked due to this. Seventy percent of the paddy crop sank in rainwater in the fields. Sugarcane was also affected. This cyclone hit the common. Today our college was not opened. Evening listened to cine songs on radio. Went to sleep by 9:00.

17 November (Tuesday)

Woke up by 4:30. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:55. Took Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger and reached Elamanchili by 7:30. Spent at public library for 40 minutes. Attended the classes by 9:00. Today History, Economics and Political Science classes went on. Afternoon had five samosas at the stall by cinema Parameswari. Took Bokaro-Alleppey Express by 12:15 and reached home by 1:00. Rested for some time. From 2:45 to 4:30 listened to cine songs on radio. Evening did some domestic work. Electricity supply was not restored till 6:00 in the evening due to the damages caused by the winds of recent cyclone. Night watched television for some time. Night my paternal uncle Narasimha Murthy stayed at our house. Went to sleep by 9:00.

18 November (Wednesday)

Woke up by 4:30. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:55. Took Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger and reached Elamanchili by 7:30. Spent some time at the pan shop of my friend Appa Rao and moved to college by 9:00. Today English, History and Science and Civilization classes went on. Afternoon had Jalebi for three rupees and one samosa. Came back to the station by 1:30. Involved myself in copying economics notes for some time. Took Tirumala Express by 3:30 and reached home by 4:00. Evening and night did some written work in economics. Night watched television for some time. Winter recently stepped silently into the lap of her Mother Nature. Went to sleep by 8:30.

19 November (Thursday)

Woke up by 4:30. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:55. Reached Elamanchili by 7:30. Spent some time at public library. Attended the classes by 9:00. Today Political Science, English and Hindi classes went on. Afternoon had one onion dosa, five small bananas and a glass of buttermilk. Still I appeared weak to myself and my face remained dim (I hate this look of my body even after eating and drinking a lot). Came back to railway station by 3:00. Reached home by 4:15 by Tirumala Express. The recently implemented college timings began to bother all (students and staff). Night watched television for some time. Night Kaartheeka Maasam (a holy month according to Telugu calendar) bade farewell to spiritually oriented Hindu women and girls. Went to sleep by 9:00.

20 November (Friday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:55. Reached Elamanchili by 7:30 by Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger. Spent some time at the pan shop of my friend Appa Rao. Attended the classes by 9:00. Today Economics, Hindi and Science and Civilization classes went on. Came back soon to railway station and caught Visakhapatnam-Tuni shuttle. Reached home by 1:00. Had my lunch and took a siesta for some time. From 3:00 to 4:00 ironed my clothes. From 4:00 to 5:00 watched Telugu cine songs on television. Night also spent watching television. My prayers to Lord Gopal and Mother Saraswati. I need their blessings always. Went to sleep by 8:30.

21 November (Saturday)

Got up by 4:30. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Today I spent most of my time watching television. Among all the programs, “Paaduthaa Theeyagaa” on Eenadu television channel, is the most interesting telecast for me. My most beloved singer S P Bala Subrahmanyam conducts this program. Afternoon watched parts of the Telugu feature films “Yamudu” and “Adavi Dhonga” on Gemini and Eenadu television channels. From 3:00 to 6:00 spent at our village Panchayat office talking with my familiar folks in this village. Today cold caught me. Went to sleep by 9:00.

22 November (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Spent all my time at home. Morning watched “Rangoli” program on Delhi Doordarshan. Thereafter watched the Telugu program “Paaduthaa Theeyagaa” on Eenadu television channel. Afternoon watched the Telugu feature film “Punnami Naagu” of Chiranjeevi on television. Evening watched the Telugu feature film “Majnu” of Nagarjuna on television. Went to sleep by 9:00.

23 November (Monday)

Woke up by 4:30. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:55. Reached Elamanchili by 8:00. Spent some time observing the scenery at the bus stand where freshly beautified passengers take buses to go to their places of work. Attended the classes by 9:00. Today Hindi, Economics and History classes went on. Reached home by 12:40 by Bokaro-Alleppey Express. Had my lunch and rested for some time. From 4:00 to 6:30 spent at our village Panchayat office talking with my familiar folks. Took a bath and had my supper by 7:00. I am suffering due to the recently implemented college working hours. May God bless me. Night watched television for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00.

24 November (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:55. Reached Elamanchili by 7:40 by Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger. Went to main post office. The wall clock was showing 8:00 but there was nobody at the service counters. Turned furious and wrote a postcard to the postmaster complaining about this nasty demerit of the office under his leadership. Spent there for some time working on two competition postcards and two ordinary letters. Attended the classes by 9:00. Today Economics, English and History classes went on. Afternoon had a plate of vegetable biryani at Udipi Hotel and a pack of NICE biscuits. Returned home by 4:00 by Tirumala Express. Evening spent my time at our village Panchayat office till 6:30. Went to sleep by 9:00.

25 November (Wednesday)

Woke up by 4:30. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:55. Reached Elamanchili by 8:00. Spent some time working on the ‘Win Gold’ contest entry form to send to the Wilkinson Blades Limited. Attended the classes by 9:00. Today Politics, Economics, English and History classes went on. Afternoon had jalebi for three rupees and two samosas. From 2:00 to 3:00 spent at the pan shop of my friend Appa Rao talking with my familiar ones. Reached home by 4:15 by Tirumala Express. I pray Lord Krishna to bless me with enough energy to succeed in my studies. My prayers to Mother Saraswati to bless me always. Night spent casually. Went to sleep by 8:30.

26 November (Thursday)

Woke up by 4:30. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:55. Took Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger and reached Elamanchili by 7:30. Spent some time at the pan shop of my friend Appa Rao. Attended the classes by 9:00. Today English, Politics and History classes went on. Afternoon had one onion dosa and one pack of Pro-Milk biscuits. Came back to railway station by 2:00. Took Tirumala Express and reached home by 4:15. Evening prepared supper at home. Night watched television for some time. Recently cold stabilized itself in the atmosphere. It is scaring cowardly, weak and old creatures. My prayers to Lord Gopal and Mother Saraswati. Went to sleep by 8:30.

27 November (Friday)

Woke up by 4:30. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:55. Reached Elamanchili by 7:30. Spent at the bus stand till 8:55. Attended the classes by 9:00. Today Politics and Hindi classes went on. Came back to railway station by 12:00. Caught Visakhapatnam-Tuni shuttle and reached home by 1:00. Had my lunch and rested for some time. From 4:00 to 6:00 spent at our village Panchayat office. My thought follows, “I like the saying ‘the first impression is the best impression’. Love at first sight is a good example for it. Many fall in love with the first look itself. The impression created by the other person should be great in such circumstances. Later one critically analyzes the character of the other, if one has an individuality of one’s own, which is appreciable to other good people in the society. Thus first impression forms the starting point for good relationships”. Went to sleep by 8:00.

28 November (Saturday)

Woke up by 4:30. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:55. Reached Elamanchili by 7:30 by Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger. Spent some time at public library. Attended the classes by 9:00. Today Hindi and Economics classes went on. Came back to railway station by 12:15 and caught Bokaro-Alleppey Express. Reached home by 1:00. Had my lunch and rested for some time. Started to Peda Gummuluru by 2:15 on bicycle. Went to our house (under construction) and observed the preparatory work for laying concrete slab on the top of walls tomorrow. Spent some time at the house of my paternal aunt Subhadra. Went to sleep by 9:00.

29 November (Sunday)

Woke up by 4:30. Morning watched “Rangoli” and “Sri Krishna” programs on Doordarshan. Started to Peda Gummuluru by 10:00 on bicycle. The cement roof of our house (under construction) was laid today. Spent there till 6:00. Went to sleep by 9:00.

30 November (Monday)

Woke up by 4:30. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:55. Reached Elamanchili by 7:40. Spent some time at public library. Attended the classes by 9:00. Today Hindi and History classes went on. Came back to railway station and caught Visakhapatnam-Tuni shuttle. Went toward post office in Peda Gummuluru along with my friend Dara Konda on bicycle from the railway station. Had a dosa for five rupees at a hotel in Adduroad. By 2:00 received a registered letter from postman at post office. It came from Eenadu television channel in Hyderabad. I won a gift hamper in “Thums Up Thunder” contest. Afternoon saw the Telugu film “Love Story 1999” in Adduroad. I did not like this film. Today my uncles came from Molleru Mallavaram. Night watched television for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00.

1 December (Tuesday)

Woke up by 4:30. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:55. Reached Elamanchili by 7:30. Spent some time at the pan shop of my friend Appa Rao. Attended the classes by 9:00. Today Economics, History and English classes went on. Afternoon had four samosas and three rupees of bananas. Came back to railway station by 2:00 and began spending time casually. Took Tirumala Express and reached home by 4:15. Evening prepared supper at home. Night watched television for some time. Today ‘World Aids Day’ is being observed. It is a day of caution to all the immoral persons in the ultramodern society. Morning my uncles left for Molleru Mallavaram. My mother left for Gollalagunta to see her parents, who have been ill for sometime. Went to sleep by 8:30.

2 December (Wednesday)

Woke up by 4:30. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Prepared breakfast at home. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:55. Reached Elamanchili by 7:30 by Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger. Spent some time at the pan shop of my friend Appa Rao near the bus stand. Attended the classes by 9:00. Today Political Science and English classes went on. Came back to railway station by 12:00. Took Bokaro-Alleppey Express by 12:15. Reached home by 12:45. Had my lunch and rested for some time. Watched television for some time. Listened to cine songs on Sri Lanka radio for one hour. Evening prepared supper at home. Night watched television for some time. Morning my father left for Gollalagunta. Went to sleep by 8:30.

3 December (Thursday)

Woke up by 4:30. The breezes of early morning winter are tickling me gently. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:55. Reached Elamanchili by 7:30. Went to public library and spent there for one hour. Attended the classes by 9:00. Today only English class went on. Other lecturers are on leave because they are attending spot valuation (evaluation of the answer papers of students) at Andhra University. Came back to railway station by 11:30. Took Visakhapatnam-Tuni shuttle. Reached home by 12:00. Had my lunch and rested for some time. My parents returned home by 3:30 ending their two-day trip to Gollalagunta. They said that my maternal grandparents are very ill. I regretted it. May God bless them with long lives. Evening wrote a long letter to send to my ailing maternal grandfather. It may refresh him psychologically. Night watched television for some time. My prayers to Lord Gopal and Mother Saraswati. Went to sleep by 11:30.

4 December (Friday)

Woke up by 5:40. Got ready soon and went to NRPM railway station. Took Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger and reached Elamanchili by 8:00. Attended the classes by 9:00. Today Hindi and History classes went on. Came back to railway station by 11:30. Knew that Bokaro-Alleppey Express was running late. Went to the nearby cinema Parameswari and bought a pack of NICE biscuits (12 sugarcoated biscuits for five rupees). Waited for train for 90 minutes. Reached home by 2:00 by Bokaro-Alleppey Express. Today I recited one essay question’s answer in history. Today my recently dispatched copy of “Pranaya Saagara Teeraalu” to Sri Potti Sriramulu Telugu University in Hyderabad was sent back to me. They intimated that they are unable to assist me financially for printing this book. They did not specify any reason for it. I regretted it a bit. Went to sleep by 8:30.

5 December (Saturday)

Woke up by 4:30. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:55. Reached Elamanchili by 7:30. Spent at public library for one hour. Attended the classes by 9:00. Today Telugu and Political Science classes went on. Came back to railway station by 11:30. Took Bokaro-Alleppey Express and reached home by 1:00. Had my lunch and watched television for some time. For the last two days, my brother Sambha has been suffering from high fever. Night watched television for some time. The biting cold is already on its way. Went to sleep by 9:00.

6 December (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Rangoli” program on Delhi Doordarshan. Reached Elamanchili by 9:30. I am supposed to help in the “Pulse Polio Immunization” program going on there. They hardly assigned me any work and so returned home. Spent rest of my time watching parts of Telugu feature films on television. Went to sleep by 9:00.

7 December (Monday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:55. Reached Elamanchili by 7:30. Spent some time at the pan shop of my friend Appa Rao. Attended the classes by 9:00. Today only Telugu class went on (which I need not attend because mine is Hindi language). Today luckily I saw the mobile bus bookstore of Vishalandhra Publishing House wherein various books are on sale. I got into the bus beside main road and bought three books, which totally cost me 55 rupees. They are: 1. The Telugu version of My Experiments with the Truth of M K Gandhi (his autobiography); 2. The Telugu translated version of Gitanjali of Rabindranath Tagore by Chalam and 3. Mahaa Prasthaanam of Srirangam Srinivasa Rao (a noted figure in modern Telugu literature popularly known as Sri Sri). I felt happy. Returned home by 4:00 by Tirumala Express. Today my maternal grandmother Buchchiyyamma came from Gollalagunta. Spent rest of the day casually. Watched television for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00.

8 December (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:55. Took Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger and reached Elamanchili by 7:30. From 8:00 to 8:55 spent at public library. Attended the classes by 9:00. Came back to railway station by 11:30. Took Bokaro-Alleppey Express by 12:15. Reached home by 1:00. Had my lunch and had a siesta for some time. By 2:15 started to Peda Gummuluru on bicycle. Went to our house (under construction) and observed how the soil digging work for the construction of compound wall was going on. Spent talking with my friend Ramesh Kumar for some time. Went to Adduroad (adjacent to Peda Gummuluru) and bought green chillies for domestic use. Came back to home by 5:05. Cold weather is highly affecting people, both physically and mentally. Went to sleep by 8:30.

9 December (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:55. Reached Elamanchili by 7:45. Went to public library and spent there till 9:00. Then proceeded to our college. Today Politics and English classes went on. On my way back to railway station bought a pack of NICE biscuits and ate. Reached home by 12:20 by Visakhapatnam-Tuni shuttle train. Afternoon there were no interesting feature films on television to watch. Took my bicycle and went to village China Gummuluru (adjacent to village Ramayyapatnam). Stopped at the pan shop of my friend Satya Narayana beside main road. Discussed the love affair (the hottest in this locality now) between a Kshatriya girl and a Harijan boy (the eldest son of the local M.L.A. Kakara Nookaraju living in China Gummuluru). This beautiful girl belongs to Peda Gummuluru. The boy belongs to China Gummuluru. The boy has all kinds of bad habits, which everybody knows except this girl in love with him. Her traditionally oriented parents brought her up very affectionately. He played powerful tricks and entrapped her (when she was in her tenth standard at the Government High School in Darlapudi) into his web of love. She is about 16. He is about 24. One day he took her away (elopement by mutual interest) in his car. Later they married under the supervision of M.L.A. (the father of the boy) in power. My friend says that they live happily. I could not believe in it. The boy is the criminal in this account. He cheated an innocent girl (her life). A bond of love between a male of vice and a female of innocence seldom lasts for long in this world. Returned home by 4:05. Watched television for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00.

10 December (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:55. Reached Elamanchili by 7:30 by Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger. Spent at public library for one hour. Proceeded to our college by 9:00. Today English and Politics classes went on. Today it was hoped that our district collector would visit our degree college. I wrote a letter to give him explaining the problems of our college on behalf of the students of our degree college. I got it typed up at Balu Type Institute. Afternoon had seven small bananas. Came back to railway station by 2:00. Meanwhile our history lecturer C Surya Sobhan also came there. Had a pleasant conversation with him. Returned home by 4:20 by Tirumala Express. Watched television for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00.

11 December (Friday)

Woke up by 4:30. Morning watched devotional songs on Delhi Doordarshan. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:55. Spent some time at public library. Went to college by 9:00. When Telugu class was on, some students came into our classroom and told us to boycott classes in support of the nationwide strike by all trade unions against the retrograde and wrong plans of the B.J.P. government at the center. S.F.I. (the Students’ Federation of India) is conducting this strike. I can’t understand whether these acts by some unions are good or bad. So, no classes went on. Returned home by 11:30 by Visakhapatnam-Tuni shuttle train. Spent rest of the day casually. Afternoon watched television for some time. Evening spent at our village Panchayat office for some time. May Lord Gopal bless me. May Mother Saraswati bless me. Went to sleep by 9:00.

12 December (Saturday)

Got up by 4:30. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Today I spent at home watching television. My thought follows, “Physical diseases are visible, traceable and curable by various diagnoses, medicines and treatments by application of sophisticated equipment and human intellect but love is an invisible and incurable disease. Successful lovers are lucky ones and live happily but the failed or one-way lovers lead pathetic lives, which cannot be traced easily by others. Only demise seems to be ultimate solution for such tragic lovers. One should never blame tragic lovers, who commit suicides, but pity their helplessness in all the ways, which would have prompted them to such extreme step”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

13 December (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Spent all my time at home watching television. Watched the Telugu program “Paaduthaa Theeyagaa” and the Telugu feature films “Muddha Mandhaaram” and “Abhilaasha” on television. My salutes to Lord Gopal and Mother Saraswati. Went to sleep by 9:00.

14 December (Monday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:55. Reached Elamanchili by 8:00 by Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger. Today, at the level crossing near Elamanchili railway station, an accident took place. When Visakha Express was nearing the station, a car, crossing railway track at the level crossing, was hit. The car driver and a baby were reported to have died on the spot though a few others could survive with injuries. This mishap occurred this early morning. I knew it from others. Spent some time at public library. Today History and Economics classes went on. Afternoon had eight small bananas and a glass of buttermilk. Came back to railway station by 3:00. Reached home by 4:15 by Tirumala Express. Evening spent some time at our village Panchayat office. Today my maternal grandmother suffered due to vomiting. She became weak. Went to sleep by 8:30.

15 December (Tuesday)

Woke up by 4:30. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:55. Reached Elamanchili by 8:00 by Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger. Spent some time at the pan shop of my friend Appa Rao. Attended the classes by 9:00. Today History, English and Economics classes went on. Came back to railway station by 12:30. Caught Visakhapatnam-Tuni shuttle. Had my lunch by 1:10 and rested for some time. By 2:00 started to Peda Gummuluru on bicycle. Went to our house (under construction) and observed the initial stage of construction of compound wall around the house. Thence proceeded to the house of my uncle Rama Raju at Raja Venkata Nagaram. They are doing well. Returned home by 5:30. Today is the day on which years ago Potti Sriramulu (a famous figure in the state of Andhra Pradesh) died on his 58^th day of fasting (in his passive struggle for achievement of special statehood to Andhra region). Went to sleep by 9:00.

16 December (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Morning watched “Aaraadhana” on Delhi Doordarshan. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:55. Reached Elamanchili by 7:30. Spent some time at public library. Attended the classes by 9:00. Today Politics, English and Economics classes went on. Came back soon to railway station and caught Bokaro-Alleppey Express. A T.T.E. of special squad caught me and demanded to show ticket. I turned pale and helplessly replied that I had no ticket. He told me to write a letter addressing the Senior Divisional Commercial Manager, Vijayawada, accepting my guilt and that I abide by the rules and regulations of Indian Railways for that offence. He took me to Tuni railway station. There he took 16 rupees (which I had in total on me) from me and left me. Returned home by 3:00 by Rajahmundry-Visakhapatnam passenger without ticket. Evening bought a monthly season ticket at NRPM station. Went to sleep by 9:00.

17 December (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:55. Took Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger by 7:00 and reached Elamanchili by 7:30. Spent some time at public library. Moved to classes by 9:00. Today Economics and History classes went on. Came back to railway station and knew that my expected train was running three hours late. Went back along with my friend Dara Konda and spent time here and there. Had an eatable for five rupees. Came back to railway station by 3:00. Tirumala Express arrived by 3:40. Reached home by 4:10. By 4:30 took bicycle and started to Adduroad to buy red chillies and ginger for domestic use (to cook something today). Returned home by 5:30. From 6:30 to 10:00 wrote a long message (a letter) to give to my friends. Went to sleep by 10:00.

18 December (Friday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:55. Reached Elamanchili by 8:00 by Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger. Spent some time at the bus stand. Attended the classes by 9:00. Today Hindi, Science and Civilization and History classes went on. From 12:00 participated in an essay writing competition on “Janma Bhoomi” (the flagship program of the state government initiated by the present chief minister N Chandra Babu Naidu). By 1:00 went to the nearby M.D.O. office to collect some information on Janma Bhoomi. Unfortunately we could not find him when he came to his office and he went out in his jeep when we found him to be the person we were waiting for. My friend Dara Konda and I came back to railway station by 3:00. Carried out casual conversation with our economics lecturer Prabhakara Rao for some time. Reached home by 4:10 by Tirumala Express. Dandruff has been bothering me for long. I am suffering without a solution for this. Went to sleep by 9:00.

19 December (Saturday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:55. Reached Elamanchili by 8:00. Spent some time at the pan shop of my friend Appa Rao. Attended the classes by 9:00. Today Hindi and Economics classes went on. Afternoon I was declared as the winner of the essay writing competition conducted yesterday. Afternoon had three rupees of bananas. My friend Dara Konda and I went to the office of M.D.O. and collected two books on Janma Bhoomi, one to each. Came back to railway station by 2:00. Reached home by 4:15 by Tirumala Express. Evening prepared supper at home. Night I did not watch television. Went to sleep by 9:00.

20 December (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Our television is currently in need of repair. So, today I could not watch any program on it. Morning and evening cooked food at home. Afternoon spent some time with my friend Krishna Varma. Went to sleep by 9:00.

21 December (Monday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:55. Reached Elamanchili by 7:30. Today I bought five New Year greeting cards for the fast approaching occasion. This morning I went to college but could not attend the classes because they asked me to write an essay on “Janma Bhoomi Venture–Your Suggestions for its Successful Implementation”. I wrote an essay of eight pages and gave it to our Zoology Lecturer Sastry (he is the key person in our college as far as cultural activities are concerned. He is a writer and a musician). He gives this manuscript to the authorities at V S Krishna College in Visakhapatnam. Those, who have to go to participate in the state level essay writing competition, would be selected there, based on the caliber of candidates, presented in these essays. Today I had one plate of purees and one pack of Horlicks biscuits. Afternoon my friend Dara Konda and I spent well and came back to railway station by 4:00. Reached home by 5:45 by Godavari Express. Went to sleep by 9:00.

22 December (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:55. Reached Elamanchili by 7:30 by Vijayawada-Visakhapatnam passenger. Spent some time at public library. Attended the classes by 9:00. Today only English class went on. Came back to railway station by 11:30. Took Bokaro-Alleppey Express and reached home by 1:00. From 1:00 to 6:00 spent preparing messages for greeting cards to send to my brother Srinivas, sister-in-law Sandhya Rani and friends, on the occasion of advent of New Year soon. My thought follows, “Time is a vehicle which never stops running fast. So, it is man that needs to comply with its speed and the related changes it brings with it. Then only one can lead one’s life somewhat happily. Otherwise every step in one’s life seems to be a big problem to one. Man is a particle in this cosmos. He cannot fight with time except welcoming it and running along with it”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

23 December (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:55. Took Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger and reached Elamanchili by 7:30. Spent some time at public library. Attended the classes by 9:00. Today no classes went on. Lecturers come to college but don’t go to their classes. Who can change this bad environment of government colleges? Came back to the station by 11:30 and caught Visakhapatnam-Tuni shuttle. Reached home by 12:10. Had my lunch and went to our village Panchayat office to spend my time. Took our short bicycle by 4:00 and started to Adduroad. By 6:00 had my haircut there. Ramadan, the holy month of Muslims, starts from today. They strictly follow rules of daylong fast in this month. I like the dedication of Muslims toward their religious beliefs and practices. Went to sleep by 9:00.

24 December (Thursday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM station by 6:55. Took Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger and reached Elamanchili by 7:30. Spent at public library for one hour. Attended the classes by 9:00. Today all our lecturers are on leave. So, classes did not take place. Came back to railway station by 11:30. Took Visakhapatnam-Tuni shuttle and reached home by 12:00. Took our short bicycle and started to the house of my uncle Rama Raju at Raja Venkata Nagaram. There we decided to go to Visakhapatnam for treatment to my maternal grandmother. So, I came back to our house by 5:00. Took a bath soon and had my supper. Took a bus and reached Raja Venkata Nagaram by 7:00. Later, there, it was decided not to go to Visakhapatnam. I stayed back for the night. My prayers to Lord Gopal to direct me always! My salutes to Mother Saraswati. My salutes to Lord Ganesh. May all these deities bless me. Went to sleep by 9:30.

25 December (Friday)

Got up by 4:30 at the house of my uncle Rama Raju. I have no important work to attend today. So, I spent there till 9:00. Had my breakfast there and started to our house by bus. Took our bicycle at Peda Gummuluru and reached home. Had my lunch and started back to Peda Gummuluru by 2:00. Spent at our house (under construction) till 4:30 supervising the ongoing construction work there. Returned home by 6:00. My thought follows, “The obedient son of a miser should lead his life like a frog in a narrow well. Money is more important to such father than his son. The son should face agonies due to the frugality of his father. At an early stage of his life, he can’t earn money. Without money, his daily life does not run well. He knows nothing to do. When a father becomes a villain, in matters of money, in the early stages of growth of his children, no god or goddess can save or pity such innocent creatures on this earth”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

26 December (Saturday)

Got up by 5:00. Spent at home till 1:00. Then took our bicycle and started to Peda Gummuluru. Our house construction work is going on well. I felt happy spending there for some time. Returned home by 6:00. My thought follows, “The persistent question which bothers humanity is whether there is God or not. If He is there, why doesn’t He appear to all? I think very few saints really saw God but they don’t reveal those secrets to ordinary human beings. But, one’s blind belief in the existence of God, without rationality and logic, provides one with a lot of courage and virtue. It is spiritual energy. Thus man can feel secure thinking that somebody is there to protect him always. Religion is based on beliefs but not experiments, proofs and arguments”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

27 December (Sunday)

Woke up by 5:00. Started to Peda Gummuluru by 9:00 in an auto rickshaw. Returned home by 6:00. The construction work of our house is going on fast. Our dreams of years get realized soon. Went to sleep by 12:00.

28 December (Monday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:55. Took Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger and reached Elamanchili by 7:30. Spent some time at public library. Attended the classes by 9:00. Today I decided to attend Hindi class only. Then went to cinema Sita Chitra Mandir and saw the Telugu film “Kaala Raathrilo Kanne Pilla”. It is based on a nonsensical story and is meant for loafers like me. Came back to station by 2:30. Reached home by 4:30 by Tirumala Express. My thought follows, “‘Where women are respected, there prosperity lies’ a proverb in Sanskrit says. I laugh at this saying. I don’t find any region where women are respected as expected by the scriptures of majority of the world religions. If there is somebody stating that he is respecting women wholeheartedly, he should be a hypocrite. Man cannot respect women but can love them. They are elements of arresting beauty and outstanding attraction. Man becomes passionate at them, not spiritual. Ask saints. They disclose their suffering due to their being away from the company of women”. Went to sleep by 9:00.

29 December (Tuesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:55. Took Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger and reached Elamanchili by 8:00. Spent at public library till 9:00. Today only Economics class went on. Most of the lecturers are on leave because it is the last month of this calendar year. Came back to railway station by 11:30. Took Visakhapatnam-Tuni shuttle and reached home by 12:30. Had my lunch and rested for some time. Went to Peda Gummuluru by 2:30 on bicycle. Supervised our house construction work for some time and then proceeded to Adduroad. Spent there for one hour. Came back to home by 5:15. Today Hindus observe Vaikunta Ekaadasi (a holy day according to Telugu calendar), a favorite day to my Lord Krishna. My best wishes to Him on this happy occasion related to His heavenly life. Went to sleep by 9:00.

30 December (Wednesday)

Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 6:55. Went to our degree college by 9:00. No classes took place. Came back to railway station by 11:00. Took Visakhapatnam-Tuni shuttle. Reached home by 12:00. Went to Peda Gummuluru by 2:00. Spent at our house (under construction) for some time. Returned home by 5:00. Night watched the Telugu feature film “Pelleedu Pillalu” on Hyderabad Doordarshan’s satellite channel. It is a very good film. I liked it a lot. Love develops unknowingly in one’s heart for the other. When one realizes that one is in deep love with somebody, the question of marriage arises. Indian society is mostly orthodox and irrational. It does not easily approve the progressive love relationships of boys and girls. But young lovers don’t/can’t separate themselves from one another once deep in love. They fight with their parents and society to win their love. Pure love is greater than the age-old social norms. Went to sleep by 11:00.

31 December (Thursday)

Woke up by 6:00. Spent day and night at home. From 2:00 to 5:00 listened to Telugu and Malayalam cine songs on Sri Lanka radio. I did not know how to send this good year off. Grief hit my heart. Once it slips into past, we can’t retrieve it. It is pain due to permanent detachment. It cherished me. It is carefully reaching me to the next year. I pray Lord Gopal to bless me. In the present world of doubts and fears among humans, it is God that needs to save and direct all with kindness and generosity. Let Him direct me carefully along with other folks of the world. May He bless the good and punish the bad in the coming year. I salute Him. Went to sleep by 9:00.

Annual Review

I wrote everything clearly in this diary but still I like to present my panoramic view of this year. After coming back from the army, I took a good decision joining the degree college. I believe in the saying “An idle mind is the devil’s workshop”. I could get rid of such complicated state of my mind by joining the college. But I am much worried about the conditions at home. My mother Sithayyamma is a simple housewife. She is lazy. She does not listen to others and take care of her health. A sensitive son like me can’t change her attitude. But I feel sorry to have such mother who is dedicated and innocent servant to her family. She knows how to care for others but not about herself. Majority of the middle-class Indian mothers are like this only. They are born for others. God is there to take care of them. Let’s think so to remain balanced at our level.

My father does not help me in my studies. He neither encourages me nor gives me enough money. He is a devoted lover of money and land. As a B.A. student, in the present trend of less value for money, I am leading a pitiable life, getting 200 rupees only per month from my father for all my expenses. Books, term fees, examination fees, pens, clothes, footwear, haircuts, breakfast, lunch, toothbrush, toothpaste and all such other expenses related to my simple life have to be met only with this little amount of money. It shows how deeply my father loves me. Pithru Dhevobhava is the saying in Sanskrit. I laugh at this concept. My father is not playing his role well toward me. It pains me a lot. Then how can I compare him to God? I can simply state that all fathers can’t think and behave like gods towards their children.

I like the following sentence very much: “Every man is a product of his circumstances”. This year I tried to solve my financial problems some way. Not finding a reliable way, I depended on my luck. So, I participated in various contests of television channels and weeklies. Out of all these efforts, I could win one. It is “Thums Up Thunder Contest” in which I won a consolation prize. I got a Thums Up bag, a T-shirt and a windcheater. Still I have to receive them from Eenadu television channel in Hyderabad. I think a poor man cannot express his love or affection toward a rich one because the rich man looks down upon the poor. A rich man lives in realities of comforts and luxuries but a poor man lives in imaginations of happiness and satisfaction. There is much difference between the two people and the two concepts.

I don’t know whether I should be happy or worry about my degree college life. College means a holy venue where learning must be the goal of students and teaching a great service to be rendered by lecturers. But, I never found such atmosphere in Sri Gurajada Apparao Government Degree College. Students don’t come to college in time. Lecturers first go to their classes and find them empty. They wait for students, who come late as if they are already dignitaries of India. What do these young sheep learn? College is a happy time pass zone for them. There is no useful substance in their brains. India suffers to bear with these idiots in future.

“College life is golden life”, I agree with this general saying. It is a wonderful stage of human life which never comes later. Two books in one hand, happy steps toward college, exchange of looks of admiration between girls and boys, happy return journeys to homes and nights of sweet dreams. Who else can enjoy such life except a student? A bit of attention towards one’s studies is all that is required. I think an intelligent and dedicated student toward his or her studies can’t enjoy college life as an ordinary student can. One that struggles for knowledge and improving the lives of others later. An ordinary student can’t build brilliant and commendable life in majority of cases. This is the difference between a hard-working and visionary student and a lazy and crazy student. At times, the ordinary become the extraordinary and the excellent remain simple and helpless. We call it ‘fate’.

Addresses of the year:

Cecile Perrin,

4, Rue Jarente,

69002 Lyon,

France.

Sri Y Narasimha Murthy,

Phase-I, M.I.G. III,

Vuda Colony, Cantonment,

Vizianagaram - 531 202.

A poem:

Oh my beloved time,

You are unkind to me,

Your job is running,

My work is to obey you.

I don’t know when

You are born or where

You go to, hopeless

Myself to think on.

Are you proud to do so?

Why not, you’re a dictator,

You never listened to

Our human dictators of

History, instead you had

Kept them in your womb.

You have no demise like us,

But you can see our ends,

How heartless you are,

Never stopped a moment too,

To lament our deaths.

Salutes to You oh my everlasting almighty,

For creating this creature of time.

© 2011 Datla Chiranjeevi Raju