1 January (Saturday)
Got up by 5:00. Took Tirumala Express and reached Elamanchili by 9:30. Went to our degree college by 10:00. All the classrooms were decorated well. All the lecturers attended college. Our principal Swarnalatha was the chief guest of the occasion. All greeted her. I too gave New Year greeting cards to some lecturers. Cultural activities took place under the guidance of S V S S R Sastry, the zoology lecturer. The celebrations were over by 2:00. Returned home by 4:30 by Tirumala Express. I welcome this new millennium, century and year with enhanced enthusiasm, courage and adventurous nature. I would make this New Year successful and noteworthy in my life. My Lord Krishna directs me so. May time love and direct me well. Went to sleep by 10:00.
2 January (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent all my time at home listening to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder and watching television. From 2:00 to 3:30 listened to Sri Lanka radio. Thereafter listened to the songs of the Hindi feature film “Bombay” and Telugu feature films “Gitanjali” and “Abhinandhana” on tape recorder. I greatly like the songs of these films. I like the voice of S P Bala Subrahmanyam and S Janaki. Evening watched the Telugu feature film “Major Chandra Kanth” on television. My salutes to Lord Gopal and Mother Saraswati. Went to sleep by 9:30.
3 January (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. Took our bicycle by 8:45 and proceeded to Narsipatnam Road railway station. Knew that Tirumala Express was running very late today due to the derailment of a goods train in Nellore district. Came back to Adduroad and took an ordinary bus for Elamanchili. Went to our college by 11:00. Thence proceeded to Village Panchayat Office (an administrative council at the village level) of Elamanchili. Today is the first day of the 11th phase “Janma Bhoomi” program of the state government in which Micro Planning (this program requires the selected college students to participate in data collection of the households in the nearby villages. The collected details from villages by students in this program would be used by the state government to assess the imbalances in rural development and to allocate funds accordingly for their overall development) is a sub-program. Fifty students of our government degree college were allotted for Elamanchili locality. We went to the houses in this village (on foot) and collected the necessary information from them as we were asked to do (a few forms of data collection were given to us which we need to fill in based on the answers given by the villagers to our questions). Ours is a group of three students. Today we collected data from 19 households. Returned home by 6:45 by Godavari Express. Watched television for some time. Went to bed by 9:30.
4 January (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 7:00. Took Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger and reached Elamanchili. Today our Micro Planning survey program (data collection from households in village) was started by 9:00. Today we collected data from 50 households. The Village Panchayat Office provided us with lunch. Most of them are poor. They struggle for their existence daily. Many villagers are suffering without minimum needs of life such as drinking water, roads, houses, clothes and entertainment. Many of them eagerly asked us if the government would do something for them. I don’t know if there will be a day when no poverty can be found in India. Reached home by 7:00 by Godavari Express. Went to bed by 9:30.
5 January (Wednesday)
Got up by 5:30. Reached NRPM station by 7:00 and caught Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger. Reached Elamanchili by 7:30 and went to the pan shop of my friend Appa Rao. Had my breakfast over there, which was taken from our house. Went to the Panchayat office by 8:30. Today we did not start our work early. We demanded 50 rupees for each participant of the Micro Planning (poor students collecting information from poor villagers to be used by rich people (politicians)). Somehow the nodal officer assured us of it. We started our survey by 10:00. Today I collected data from 50 households. Today, Y Rama Krishnudu, the present Finance Minister of Andhra Pradesh, J R S Prasad, the present District Collector of Visakhapatnam, P Chalapati Rao, the present M.L.A. of Elamanchili constituency and Ayyanna Patrudu, the present Minister of Forests in Andhra Pradesh came to Elamanchili. I too saw them. Went to bed by 9:00.
6 January (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 7:00 on bicycle. Took Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger and reached Elamanchili by 7:45. Had my breakfast, taken from home, at the pan shop of my friend Appa Rao. Today we started our Micro Planning data collection work by 9:30. Today we collected information from 60 households. Afternoon we had tasty lunch provided by village Panchayat. We stopped our work by 5:00. Returned home by 6:45 by Godavari Express. Today I received a letter from the N.S.S. (National Service Scheme of the Government of India) Unit of Government Junior College at Sabbavaram. They appreciated me for the good essays I sent them recently to participate in an essay writing competition conducted by them. Today I received New Year greeting cards from my sisters-in-law Sandhya Rani and Sowjanya from Molleru Mallavaram. Went to bed by 10:00.
7 January (Friday)
Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 7:00. Took Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger and reached Elamanchili by 8:00. Today I posted an application for the post of Postal Sorting Assistant in Railway Mail Service (RMS) division of Visakhapatnam railway station. Candidates are asked to send their applications either by Registered Post or Speed Post (both are costly compared to an Ordinary Post). It is unfair system being followed by the postal department to earn money from the already frustrated and impoverished guys and girls in India. Had my breakfast, taken from home, by 9:00, at the pan shop of my friend Appa Rao. Today I collected data from 45 households by 1:00. There was no work in the afternoon. The Micro Planning survey program is over by today. All the 90 students (selected from our college to work in this program) worked efficiently and enthusiastically in this program. Came back to railway station by 4:00. Spent talking with our English Lecturer Jaya Parvathy and economics lecturer Prabhakara Rao for some time at the station. Reached home by 7:00 by Godavari Express. Went to sleep by 9:00.
8 January (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:00. Reached NRPM station by 7:00. Took Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger and reached Elamanchili by 8:00. Had my breakfast, taken from home, at the pan shop of my friend Appa Rao. Went to Village Panchayat Office by 9:00. Today we totaled the details collected from the households in Elamanchili. The village Panchayat provided us with lunch. Today, our Coordinator (in Micro Planning Survey) Sudha Rani, Lecturer in Physics, told me about her education and life values. She is from Ongole. She is beautiful and equally good at heart. She respects and follows Indian traditional values. She is kind and affectionate toward me. Came back to station by 3:00. Took Tirumala Express and reached home by 3:45. Evening and night watched television for some time. Went to bed by 9:00.
9 January (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:00. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Took Tirumala Express and reached Elamanchili by 10:00. Went to Village Panchayat Office. Today about 15 students of our group totaled the details collected from 12 wards in Elamanchili. Afternoon had a plate of vegetable biryani at Udipi Hotel. Came back to railway station by 5:30. Took Godavari Express and reached home by 6:45. Night watched television and listened to songs on tape recorder for some time. We found satisfaction and joy in the recently conducted Micro Planning survey program. Went to bed by 9:00.
10 January (Monday)
Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Took Tirumala Express and reached Elamanchili by 9:30. Went to Village Panchayat Office. Today we simplified the demographic details collected from the households in wards from 10 to 22. Afternoon had a plate of vegetable biryani for seven rupees at Udipi Hotel. Returned home by 4:30 by Tirumala Express. When I was waiting for the train at Elamanchili railway station, a cute kitten came to me and looked at my face. Then it leapt and slept on my lap. I felt happy for helping her sleep for half an hour. My body could be used for the rest of an animal. Thank you dear God. Night watched television for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00.
11 January (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:00. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Took Tirumala Express and reached Elamanchili by 9:30. Went to Mandal Revenue Office where Graama Sabha (the meeting of village administrative council and villagers to address and redress public grievances on the spot) program was going on. P Chalapati Rao, the present M.L.A. of Elamanchili constituency, P Rama Kumari, the Sarpanch (head) of Elamanchili Village Panchayat, the Mandal Revenue Officer (M.R.O.) of Elamanchili and the Nodal Officer of the present “Janma Bhoomi” program attended this meeting. Villagers, students, head masters of government schools, lecturers, principals of colleges, ration depot dealers and reporters were the other attendees at this meeting. This meeting went on for 150 minutes. Thereafter “Human Chain” (people joining their hands and standing in the form of a circle symbolizing their collective commitment toward the overall development of their state (Janma Bhoomi)) was formed (the symbol of “Janma Bhoomi” program of Andhra Pradesh). The villagers asked good questions in this meeting. The authorities provided them with necessary explanations. By today the 11th phase “Janma Bhoomi” program came to an end. Reached home by 4:30 by Tirumala Express. Today my brother Launch Nayak D S Raju came from Baramulla in Jammu and Kashmir on leave. Went to bed by 9:30.
12 January (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Took Tirumala Express and reached Elamanchili by 10:00. Went to Village Panchayat Office where other student volunteers of the recent “Janma Bhoomi” program were waiting to receive their remuneration for their work in preparing the village level micro planning in Elamanchili. We kept on waiting for Prabhakara Rao, our economics lecturer, who is in charge of the payments for us. At last, by 8:30, all the students were paid. Each participant got 190 rupees. Night, Sudha Rani, the Lecturer in Physics in our degree college, left for her hometown Ongole along with her two cute female kids, by Visakhapatnam-Vijayawada passenger train. Some of her students came to Elamanchili railway station to see her off. I accompanied her up to Narsipatnam Road (a 20-minute journey). Went to sleep by 12:30.
13 January (Thursday)
Got up by 5:00. All the day stayed at home and spent my time watching television and listening to songs on tape recorder. Afternoon watched the Telugu feature film “Seethaakoka Chiluka” on Eenadu television channel. Murali (another name of my favorite hero Karthik) and Muchcharla Aruna played the main roles (hero and heroine) in this film. It has an absorbing love story. It is one of my most favorite Telugu films. Religion should not be a barrier for love between a girl and a boy. Every song in this film is a masterpiece for me. Whenever songs were being presented from this film, I listened to them at high volume with passion. All the Telugu films from the “Poornodhaya Movie Creations” are of high artistic value like this one. Night also watched television for some time. Went to bed by 9:30.
14 January (Friday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent most of my time at home watching television and listening to songs on tape recorder. Evening went to see Uppalapati Krishnam Raju (a Telugu film actor), the present Member of Lok Sabha representing Narasapuram constituency. He came to our village Peda Gummuluru to see his sister. She has been living here for long with her family. Some natives came there to see him. He looks attractive in height but I did not find him impressive in color. Night I enjoyed a sweet dream. A 14-year-old girl attracted my romantic heart with her beauty of body and sensitivity of mind. She kissed me and did such warm things, which are enjoyable for a bachelor like me. Today I observed “Boghi” festival casually. Went to bed by 10:00.
15 January (Saturday)
Got up by 5:30. Today it is “Sankranti”, an important festival of Hindus. It is called Pongal also. Spent all my time at home. My friend Krishna Varma came. He spent in our house for five hours. I spent most of my time listening to songs on tape recorder and watching television. Today I did not wear new clothes marking the festival. My parents have no interest toward special observation of some important Hindu festivals (as is the case with many other Hindus now). For them, a festival is a special occasion for which some related eatables must be prepared and house, utensils and furniture must be cleaned and kept fresh. Night watched my favorite weekly Telugu program “Paaduthaa Theeyagaa” on Eenadu television channel. Wrote a letter of admiration appreciating the melodious voice (exhibited in singing songs in this program) of Sandhya Deepthi, a participant from Kakinada. Went to bed by 10:00.
16 January (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent all my time at home watching television and listening to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder. Today it is Kanuma. I did not observe it. Watched the Telugu feature films “Pattukondi Chooddhaam” and “Kshana Kshanam” on television. My salutes to Goddess Lakshmi. My salutes to Lord Gopal and Mother Saraswati. Went to sleep by 12:30.
17 January (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day stayed at home and spent most of my time watching television and listening to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder. Afternoon watched the Telugu feature film “Amaavaasya Chandhrudu” on Eenadu television channel. Kamal Haasan and Madhavi played the main roles. This film portrays the problems of blind people in reality (Kamal played the role of a blind man). It makes sensitive viewers understand that blind people can live happily as long as they are received and treated well by people with eyes (Madhavi played the role of his (Kamal’s) beloved blessing him with the happiness of sweetness of a passionate and possessive conjugal life). I liked the songs in this film very much. It is one of the best films I have seen. I like to congratulate the team of professionals that created such brilliant work of art. Night also watched television for some time. Went to sleep by 9:30.
18 January (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:00. Went to Raja Venkata Nagaram by 10:30 on bicycle. Spent there till 5:00 at the house of my uncle Rama Raju. Took a siesta for some time. Listened to cine songs on Sri Lanka radio for some time. Evening talked with D Subba Raju and his wife Parvati, the owners of this coconut garden. They advised me to go for bank service examinations, especially Probationary Officers exam. Attempting the Civil Services examination of the Union Public Service Commission and learning computer courses are other good ways to be followed after my graduation. They told me about the job of their son-in-law in Australia. He earlier studied at an Indian Institute of Technology. I wanted to seek advice from their son-in-law (who is presently a software engineer in Australia getting a lot of salary) about computer courses. Night watched television for some time. Went to bed by 9:30.
19 January (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached Elamanchili by 9:30 by Tirumala Express. Bought a half sleeve (covering the upper half of hands) Kumar Shirt for 65 rupees for wearing while at home. For the last two years, I have been buying ready-to-wear Kumar Shirts and trousers for my formal and casual needs of clothing. Recently tailors doubled their stitching charges. So, ready-made clothes seem to be the best alternative. They satisfy our necessities of being economical, gracious, colorful, selective, fascinating and intellectual. Today I saw the Telugu film “Samudhram” of Jagapati Babu and Sakshi Sivanand. The heroine is very beautiful and seductive in this film. I specially appreciate her innocent beauty. Went to bed by 9:30.
20 January (Thursday)
Got up by 5:30. Today I spent most of my time at home. The necessary arrangements for the marriage of my brother Sambha are being made fast. Hiring a photographer (for taking photos of the marriage occasion), a videographer (for recording the auspicious marriage occasion in a videocassette), the print and distribution of wedding cards, booking tent and cooking material are in progress. The purchase of clothes is over. My brother Srinivas, my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani and my nephew Sujan came from Molleru Mallavaram by 3:30. The other little creature Suhas (my nephew) is left there at the house of his maternal grandparents. He is one year old. Today I spent watching television and listening to Telugu cine songs on Sri Lanka radio. Night watched the Hindi feature film “Border” on television playing the videocassette brought by my brother Srinivas (he is an army man and so he likes this film a lot because it portrays the lives of army personnel). Went to bed by 11:00.
21 January (Friday)
Woke up by 5:00. Spent most of my time at home. Afternoon went to see my paternal grandparents living in Ramayyapatnam. Datla Thammi Raju, my paternal grandfather, has been suffering from indigestion for the last two months (he maintains attractive locks of hair at the back of his head which style I like very much to watch in him). He became weak. He took some tonics and tablets but they failed to cure him. I decided to prescribe “LIVOSIN” for his chronic disorder of health. This is an Ayurvedic tonic specially prepared to activate one’s liver and digestive system. Now he is about 80. He daily goes to his cashew grove at hills walking some ten kilometers (onward and return journey). He eats ordinary food and so turned weak. He lends money to others for interest worrying about his future. I advised him to drink milk and other digestible food and beverage items of energy. He listens to me and nods his head but seldom practices my pieces of advice in reality. Lakshmi Narasayyamma, my paternal grandmother (his beloved wife) frightens him about their future if he ever dares spend some money in that direction. Consequently he is suffering from these natural disorders of old age. These old people never spend money when they are healthy to keep it up but spend a lot for doctors when their health fails badly one day. It is a well-known story related to old people living and dying in villages. Night watched television for some time. Went to sleep by 9:30.
22 January (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:00. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Took Tirumala Express and reached Elamanchili by 9:30. Sudha Rani, the physics lecturer in our college, was returning from her hometown Ongole in the same train. Today it is the reopening day of our degree college after Sankranti holidays but the visionary students start coming to classes from next Monday only. Returned home by 11:30 by Visakhapatnam-Tuni shuttle train. Evening went to Raja Venkata Nagaram on scooter along with my brother Sambha. Today I rode scooter. I am learning it now. I am feeling nervous and disturbed while riding it. I hate the gear system. May God bless and teach me good driving skills. Went to bed by 9:30.
23 January (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. By 8:30 my uncle Narayana Murthy, my brother Srinivas and I started to village Tangedu on scooter. First we went to the house of Raja Sagi Rama Chandra Raju (also called Chiranjeevi). We gave him the wedding card of my brother Samba. Then we moved to the house of the parents of my (to be) sister-in-law Kranti. We spent talking with them for some time. Aunt Janaki offered tea for us. Then we distributed the wedding cards to some of their relatives in this village. We started back by 10:30. Reached home by 11:00. Spent some time watching television. By 3:30 went to the weekly market at Adduroad and bought vegetables. Evening too watched television for some time. My salutes to Lord Gopal. Went to sleep by 10:00.
24 January (Monday)
Woke up by 5:00. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Took Tirumala Express and reached Elamanchili by 9:30. Today I typed up a letter in a type institute addressing the Registrar of Andhra University requesting him to speed up the process of re-evaluation of our second year B.A. answer papers and to send the new mark lists at the earliest. Afternoon had a plate of vegetable biryani for seven rupees at Udipi Hotel. Today Public Economics and History classes went on. Went to the house of my classmate Prasad and spent there for some time. Returned home by 6:50 by Godavari Express. By 9:00 this morning my brother Srinivas left for Gollalagunta to distribute wedding cards (related to the marriage of my brother Sambha) to our relatives in those areas. By 10:30 this morning my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani left for Molleru Mallavaram searching for her gold ornament (she kept one of her costly gold ornaments in a small carry bag in which my brother Srinivas took wedding cards for distribution. Since there was nobody at our home to undertake the urgent journey to reach my brother and alert him about the gold in the carry bag, my sister-in-law took the initiative. She never made lonely journeys till now. We spent a disturbed day for having sent her alone on a two-hour long journey. The tension about her safety assumed more strength than the issue of gold. We regretted sending her alone. The gold was not lost because my brother was informed about it quite in advance). Went to sleep by 9:00.
25 January (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Took Tirumala Express and reached Elamanchili by 10:30. Today I remained dedicated in the service of our beloved economics lecturer Prabhakara Rao. He is highly involved in the “Janma Bhoomi” Micro Planning survey related temporary position of Mandal Resource Person for Elamanchili. Today he has to submit the final report carrying the simplified and categorized data of all the panchayats in Mandal Elamanchili. I spent with him at Mandal Development Office in Elamanchili from 11:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. helping him in this task. Night we slept at the house of my B.A. classmate Prasad (his student) by 12:00.
26 January (Wednesday)
Got up by 6:00 in the house of my classmate Prasad at Elamanchili. Washed my face and went to railway station by 8:00. Took Simhadri Express (running between Visakhapatnam and Guntur) and reached home by 9:30. All the day spent at home. Slept for some time. Watched television for some time. Today India is grandly celebrating the completion of the 50th year of its adherence to its constitution in public administration. India became a republic on 26 January, 1950, as it chose to elect its rulers on its own based on the guidelines of its constitution. It was the date on which India started marching ahead on its course of planned development with democratic and socialist spirit. India always kept its promise of policy of peace and universal fraternity with other nations. Went to bed by 9:00.
27 January (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Took Tirumala Express and reached Elamanchili by 9:30. Went to our college and spent my time talking with S V S S R Sastry, the zoology lecturer and cultural coordinator of our college. Afternoon had idlies for five rupees at a hotel. Attended the classes by 12:30. Today only Public Economics (previously known as Public Finance) class went on. A two-member team of Andhra University came to our college today on an inspection duty. Came back to railway station by 2:30. Kept on waiting for the train. Took Tirumala Express and reached home by 4:30. Evening went to Adduroad to get my bicycle repaired, especially its brake and wheel moving systems. Today it is the first anniversary of our formal entry into this house (we came into this new house on this date one year ago). Went to sleep by 9:00.
28 January (Friday)
Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Took Tirumala Express and reached Elamanchili by 10:00. Went to the showroom of Kumar Shirts and bought one pair of ready-made clothes (one shirt and a pair of trousers) for my brother Srinivas for the ensuing occasion of marriage of my brother Sambha. Attended the classes by 12:30. Today History and Population Education classes went on. Came back to railway station by 3:00. Took Tirumala Express and reached home by 4:30. Today my uncle Narasimha Murthy came from Tetagunta to help us in the distribution of wedding cards in view of the fast approaching date of marriage of my brother Sambha. Night we discussed some important things. It was cold at night. I enjoyed it. Went to sleep by 10:20.
29 January (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Took Tirumala Express and reached Elamanchili by 9:30. Today my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani came to Elamanchili to exchange her sari at Suresh Silk House. It was over by 10:30. Thereafter we went to government hospital. She has a small swollen disorder on her left hand finger. She consulted a female doctor in the government hospital about it. She would have behaved in a careless manner. She is sensitive in such things. So, she disliked to wait there any more for the useless and arrogant advice of the doctor. She took a bus and left for home. I had tiffin at a hotel. Attended the classes by 12:30. Today only Population Education class went on. Returned home by 4:30 by Tirumala Express. Night watched television for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00.
30 January (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent all my time at home. Soon the marriage of my brother Sambha takes place in village Tangedu with a Kshatriya girl named Kranti. The related works are being carried out in a fast pace. My nephew Suhas was left in Molleru Mallavaram at the house of his maternal grandparents. Now he is two years old. I don’t find it right to leave such a small child with his grandmother. He would be affected by grief. Small children should not be kept away from their parents. It affects their psychological growth. I hate these trends of modern families. May God bless small children. My salutes to Lord Gopal and Mother Saraswati. Night watched television for some time. Went to sleep by 9:30.
31 January (Monday)
Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Took Tirumala Express and reached Elamanchili by 10:30. Today a farewell function took place in our college on the occasion of the retirement of our principal Swarnalatha from her service. Our zoology lecturer S V S S R Sastry managed this event and made it a grand success. This function went on from 11:00 to 1:30. It was a planned and organized felicitation program. Afternoon saw the Telugu film “Oke Okkadu” in cinema Venkateshwara. The Bollywood heroine Manisha Koirala is the queen of the Indian film industry. Her beauty is splendid. Her smiles are divine. Her performance is admirable. Her face is fascinating. Her presence is blissful. Went to sleep by 9:30.
1 February (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Took Tirumala Express and reached Elamanchili by 10:00. Spent some time at the pan shop of my friend Appa Rao. Today the employees at main post office in Elamanchili refused to give change for my 500-rupee note suspecting it as a fake currency note. They are in endless ignorance and baseless fear. I cursed them silently. If something unexpected happens somewhere, they suspect everybody and harass them. I hate it. Today only Public Economics class went on. Returned home by 6:45 by Godavari Express. Night a serious argument took place among my eldest brother Srinivas, sister-in-law Sandhya Rani (a passive and silent observer of the exchange of hot words between her husband and me) my younger brother Sambha and me. My brother Srinivas challenged me to excel him in life. I accepted his challenge and told him that I would meet it soon. Went to bed by 10:35.
2 February (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Took Tirumala Express and reached Elamanchili by 9:30. Afternoon had my tiffin at a hotel. Attended the classes by 12:30. Today Public Economics and Population Education classes went on. Today application forms (to be filled in and sent back) for the ensuing annual examinations were given out in our classroom by our beloved and dedicated Economics Lecturer Naga Bhushana Rao (the only lecturer in our college who thinks that he should be morally responsible for every rupee he takes from the government in the form of salary. He takes his classes very seriously and never wastes time talking about anything else other than his subject. He is an ideal person as a lecturer as far as I know about him in our college). This time the cost of the application form is ten rupees. Today I reacted in a very serious manner toward my classmate Ashok when he commented jokingly about my application form. Today I received a letter of intimation from the Government Junior College at Sabbavaram. They informed me to come to their college and collect the second prize for the essays I sent them sometime ago. Went to sleep by 9:00.
3 February (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:00. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Took Tirumala Express and reached Elamanchili by 9:30. Thence took a bus for Anakapalle. From there proceeded to the Government Junior College at Sabbavaram. I went there to collect my certificate of merit in essay writing competition on “The Role of a Teacher in the Next Millennium” in English. K Satya Narayana, the N.S.S. program officer at that college, handed a gold memento and a commendation letter to me for my second place in the recently conducted essay writing competition. Came back to Elamanchili by 2:15. Went to our college by 2:30. Today we filled in the application forms in our classroom for the ensuing public examinations. Reached home by 6:45 by Godavari Express. Today my maternal grandfather came from Gollalagunta. Went to sleep by 9:00.
4 February (Friday)
Woke up by 5:30. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Took Tirumala Express and reached Elamanchili by 9:30. Went to our college along with our economics lecturer Prabhakara Rao in rickshaw sitting beside him. Spent there for some time. Had my lunch at a hotel. Attended the classes by 12:30. Today Public Economics, Population Education and European History classes went on. Came back to railway station by 4:00. Engaged myself in writing a long farewell message to read out in our coming College Annual Day. Took Godavari Express and reached home by 6:45. The necessary arrangements for the marriage of my brother Sambha are getting speeded up. It was cold at night. Went to bed by 9:30.
5 February (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:30. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00 on bicycle. Took Tirumala Express and reached Elamanchili by 10:00. Afternoon had bananas for three rupees and one glass of grape juice (prepared with the essence of grapes by my classmate Appa Rao at his shop). Attended the classes by 12:30. Today History and Population Education classes went on. Even Public Economics lecturer Naga Bhushana Rao came to our classroom and collected the filled in application forms and the examination fees from us. Today only six students (including me) paid their fees. Others did not pay their fees today because it is an inauspicious day according to Telugu calendar. Our final year B.A. subjects are: Common/Compulsory Subjects: The History of Modern Europe (1789-1945), Public Economics and Political Thought. The Optional Subjects are: The History of Freedom Movement in India (1857-1947), Population Education and Public Administration. Went to bed by 10:00.
6 February (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent most of my time at home listening to songs on tape recorder and watching television. Today I wrote a bit of farewell message to read out in our ensuing Annual Day of Sri Gurajada Apparao Government Degree College. This year rainfall is low. Today it was cloudy and refreshing. Two days ago my maternal grandfather came from Gollalagunta. He is about 65. Morning practiced riding Bajaj Chetak (a scooter) near our house. I could not do it well. Man desires to comfort himself using machines but they don’t listen to his commands now and then. This morning the scooter frightened me when I was learning it. I decided not to touch it anymore. Night talked with my maternal grandfather for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00.
7 February (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Took Tirumala Express and reached Elamanchili by 10:00. Spent for two hours with our economics lecturer Prabhakara Rao. He bought wood at a timber mill. Its packing and dispatch to the office of Kranti Lorry Transport took place till 12:00. Had bananas for three rupees and one glass of buttermilk. Today two History classes went on. Today our Public Economics lecturer Naga Bhushana Rao collected the filled in application forms and fees of the final year examinations from our class with my help. Took Godavari Express and reached home by 6:45. Today my maternal aunt Satyavathi came from Tank Bead. Night watched television for some time. Went to bed by 9:30.
8 February (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:00. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Took Tirumala Express and reached Elamanchili by 9:30. Today classes did not take place in our college. The S.F.I. and some other student unions declared today to be a black day. All the government educational institutions should observe a holiday today. This agitation is against the regressive and anti-employment generation policies of the present state government led by Nara Chandra Babu Naidu. So, today, only examination fees were collected from the students. Today I gave two manuscripts (related to our College Annual Day message by me) to Physics Lecturer G L Sudha Rani for her close scrutiny and correction of errors. Returned home by 4:30 by Tirumala Express. Today, Udaya Bhaskaramma, the maternal grandmother of my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani and my maternal aunt Surya Bhaskaramma came from villages Molleru Mallavaram and Durgada respectively. Preparatory work for the marriage of my brother Sambha is going on fast. Went to sleep by 9:30.
9 February (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:30. The auspicious dates (Sumuhoortham in Telugu) of Upanayanam (a compulsory traditional ceremony to be observed by bachelors before marriage in Kshatriya community) and marriage of my brother Datla Sambha Murthy Raju are very near. Our relatives from Gollalagunta, Tank Bead, Molleru Mallavaram and Bhimavaram arrived by this evening. The tent material and light arrangements were over by 6:30. The number of our female relatives that are presently staying at our house would be around ten. They are actively participating in the marriage related activities. Evening my uncle Narayana Murthy and I started to Tuni to buy and bring a turban for the bridegroom (my brother). We reached there by 7:30 by lorry. There we bought a turban, some ready-made clothes for me from the showroom of Kumar Shirts and some other items necessary for marriage occasion. Returned home by 8:30 by lorry. My brother-in-law Raja came from Molleru Mallavaram by this evening. Went to bed by 9:30.
10 February (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:00 on the date of marriage of my brother Sambha. Upanayanam took place around 9:30. This ritual includes wearing a sacred thread, which signifies that a bachelor is entering his stage of married life, leaving his life of celibacy back. We arranged a videographer from Elamanchili. His name is Sekhar. We have one camera. One photographer comes from Gopala Krishna Photo Studio in Adduroad. The lunch program was over by 2:00. We arranged two vehicles for this occasion. TATA Sumo is for the bridegroom before marriage and for the newly married couple after marriage. The minibus is to take the attendees of marriage to the venue of marriage (village Tangedu near Kota Uratla. It is about 20 kilometers from our village) and to bring them back after marriage. We reached Tangedu by 7:10. Dinner arrangements were good. We were provided well to rest during the night until the time of marriage. It all went on well. Nearly 150 people came to this marriage from our (bridegroom) side.
11 February (Friday)
The marriage took place in the early hours of 11th February. The time of Sumuhoortham is 4:13 a.m. The bride (my younger sister-in-law) has a long name. Her short name is Kranti. My brother looks taller beside her. We returned home by 7:30 this morning along with our items of traditional system prepared and decorated by bride party. Afternoon some of our relatives left for their homes. Our relatives from Tank Bead helped us well during this occasion. Evening first night occasion was arranged. We could not collect ample flowers for this occasion; especially jasmines are at a cost of 300 rupees per kilogram. Went to sleep by 9:30.
12 February (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:00. Today it is the second Saturday of the month and so a holiday to our college. So, I remained at home. By 10:00 started to Raja Venkata Nagaram and Gurrajupeta on scooter to distribute sweets (brought by my sister-in-law as part of our tradition) to our near and dear ones there. My brother Srinivas and I returned home by 11:30. Spent rest of the time at home listening to cine songs on tape recorder and radio. Evening went to the house of my aunt Subhadra to give sweets. She expressed satisfaction at our treatment during the marriage toward her and other attendees. My nephew Suhas is presently in our house. He is a bit weak. Today my cousin Anantha Lakshmi, maternal aunts Bhaskaram and Satyavathi left for the house of my uncle Rama Raju at Raja Venkata Nagaram. They want to take a holy dip in the nearby sea. Night our cattle keeper Appa Rao (a boy of 14 years) danced in tune to fast beat Telugu cine songs from our tape recorder. We enjoyed it. Went to sleep by 9:30.
13 February (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent most of my time at home. My maternal grandfather is staying with us. He is not well. He is suffering from tuberculosis (TB). He is taking medicines being supplied free of cost by government. They cured him a little. The occasion of the marriage of my brother Sambha is over. Many of our relatives have already left for their homes. We spent happily with them. Today I finished the project work of our Population Education (Economics) subject titled “The Socioeconomic and Demographic Profile of Peda Gummuluru”. This record work carries 20 marks. Evening saw the Telugu film “Mahatma” of Suresh Gopi in cinema Venkatapathi Raju Mahal at Adduroad along with my folks. It portrays the story of a don. Went to sleep by 9:00.
14 February (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Took Tirumala Express and reached Elamanchili by 10:00. Spent some time talking with our economics lecturer Prabhakara Rao. Today we prepared a letter addressing the Divisional Railway Manager of Visakhapatnam requesting him to see that every train (wherever it has its scheduled stoppages) stops for two minutes at every railway station so as to avoid accidents and difficulties of passengers entraining and detraining in a hurry. Today Economics and History classes went on. Returned home by 4:30 by Tirumala Express. Evening went to Adduroad and collected the marriage photos from Gopala Krishna Photo Studio. My brother’s wedding photos came well. Today the newly married couple went to the house of bride. Some of our relatives are still staying with us adding beauty to our house. Went to bed by 9:30.
15 February (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Today my maternal aunt Bhaskaram left for their village Durgada by Visakhapatnam-Vijayawada passenger train. My brother Srinivas brought her to NRPM station on his scooter. She gifted me ten rupees with affection asking me to buy something with it. I bought a Reynolds D’fine ballpoint to keep her affection with me as a token of blessings for me in my education. Afternoon had some bananas and buttermilk. Today only Economics class went on. Our economics lecturer Prabhakara Rao verified our project reports of Population Education subject. Reached home by 4:15 by Tirumala Express. I could not celebrate the recent Valentine’s Day specially. I have no sweetheart to offer or to be offered something. I have very little time to prepare for the forthcoming examinations. Went to bed by 9:30.
16 February (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Took Tirumala Express and reached Elamanchili by 9:30. Today we (my train journey friends and I) bought concessionary quarterly student season ticket for 125 rupees. Today I started my preparation for the forthcoming final year B.A. exams. Probably the war (examinations) begins on 30th March. Afternoon had six bananas and one glass of buttermilk. Attended the classes by 12:30. Today European History, Public Economics and Population Education classes went on. Today I missed Tirumala Express. Took Godavari Express by 6:15 and reached home by 7:00. Night did not do anything. Went to bed by 9:00.
17 February (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Took Tirumala Express and reached Elamanchili by 9:30. Went to our college in rickshaw along with our economics lecturer Prabhakara Rao sitting beside him. He is an idealist in dealing with students. Afternoon had some bananas and one glass of buttermilk. Attended the classes by 12:30. Today History, Public Economics and Population Education classes went on. Took Tirumala Express and reached home by 4:30. Today my brother Sambha and my sister-in-law Kranti returned from Tangedu in taxi, formally and traditionally. My maternal uncle Varma also came back along with them. He went there as a co-bridegroom (Thodu Pelli Koduku in Telugu). Went to bed by 9:30.
18 February (Friday)
Woke up by 5:00. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Took Tirumala Express and reached Elamanchili by 9:30. Went to the temple of Lord Hanuman and prepared European History for some time. Afternoon had some bananas and one glass of lemon juice. Attended the classes by 12:30. Today History and Economics classes went on. Came back to railway station by 4:15. Prepared history for some time. Took Godavari Express and reached home by 6:45. Today it is Maagha Pournami. Many natives go to the seashore at Revu Polavaram and enjoy themselves at the annual fair in the cool moonlight. They take holy dips in seawater from the early morning tomorrow. This year I could not go there being busy with my preparation for the fast approaching examinations. Went to bed by 9:00.
19 February (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:00. Today “Clean and Green” program would be observed at our college. I have another work to do. This early morning it was very cloudy and rainy. Yet I started my journey to Visakhapatnam. Took Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger train and reached Visakhapatnam by 9:30. First I went to Tokyo Color Lab and gave our recent marriage related photo negatives for development and print. Later I went to Jagadamba Junction. Moved to “Radio Corner” beside Hotel Rajadhani A.C. Ordered him to record 30 select melodious Telugu cine songs into three one-hour audiocassettes for the purpose of audio mix into the videocassette of marriage of my brother Sambha. Thereafter went to Andhra University and attended a small pending work there. Afternoon saw the English film “The World is not Enough” in cinema Jagadamba. Returned home by 9:30 by Visakhapatnam-Vijayawada passenger train. Went to bed by 10:00.
20 February (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. From 6:00 to 8:30 kept on listening to Telugu cine songs on our tape recorder. I got them recorded yesterday at Jagadamba Junction in Visakhapatnam. These are my favorite songs. The details of these songs follow: Om Namassivaaya and Vevela Gopemmala of “Saagara Sangamam”, Sankaraa Naadha Shareeraaparaa of “Shankaraabharanam”, Maate Manthramoo and Saagara Sangamame of “Seethaakoka Chiluka”, Rangulalo of “Abhinandhana”, Vidhaatha Thalapuna of “Siri Vennela”, Sigalo Avi Virulo and Kaastha Mundhu Thelisena Prabhoo of “Megha Sandhesham”, Oka Venuvu Vinipinchenu of “America Ammaayi”, Ninnu Kori Varnam and Oka Brindhaavanam of “Gharshana”, Edho Theliyani Bandhamidhee of “Naayakudu”, Ku Ku Koo Kokila Raave of “Sitara”, Ekaantha Vela and Keeravaanee of “Anveshana” and Sree Rashthu Shubhamasthoo of “Pelli Pustakam”. The details of the other Telugu cine songs recorded are given in the following page. Today it was cloudy and pleasant. My salutes to Lord Gopal. Went to sleep by 9:00.
21 February (Monday)
Woke up by 5:00. Took Tirumala Express and reached Elamanchili by 10:00. Prepared history for some time. Afternoon had a few bananas. Today only European History class went on. Today it rained heavily in Elamanchili. Returned home by 4:30 by Tirumala Express. The remaining Telugu cine songs recorded are: Edu Kondala Swamee of “Sri Venkateshwara Swamy Mahaathmyam”, Sirimalle Neeve and Maanasa Veena Madhu Geetham of “Panthulamma”, Sumam Prathi Sumam Sumam of “Maharshi”, Aaru Ruthuvulu of “Aalaapana”, Vayyari Godhaaramma of “Preminchi Pelladu”, E Divilo Virisina Paarijaathamo of “Kanne Vayasu”, Abhinava Thaaravo of “Shiva Ranjani”, Ankitham Neekay Ankitham of “Swapna”, Yaa Yaa Yaa of “Dheva Raagam” and Gallu Galluna Gunde Jallanaa and Prema Pilichindi of “Neeraajanam”. The italicized ones are the songs and the following ones are the titles of Telugu films. Went to bed by 9:00.
22 February (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:00. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Took Tirumala Express and reached Elamanchili by 9:30. Prepared history for some time at the temple of Lord Hanuman. Today many devotees came to worship this God in this temple. Afternoon had bananas for three rupees and one glass of lemon juice. Today only Public Economics class went on. Came back to railway station by 3:00. Took Tirumala Express and reached home by 4:30. Today I was introduced about SIIT Computer Center in Anakapalle. Its marketing executive said that their unit produces gems in computer education. Night there was no electricity at our house due to power cut. Went to sleep by 9:00.
23 February (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:00. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Took Tirumala Express and reached Elamanchili by 9:45. Went to the temple of Lord Hanuman and prepared European History for some time. Afternoon had bananas for four rupees and half a glass of lemon juice. Attended the classes by 12:30. Today only Public Economics class went on. Came back to railway station by 2:00. Took Tirumala Express by 3:30 and reached home by 4:30. This morning my maternal grandfather and my cousin (his granddaughter) Anantha Lakshmi left for Gollalagunta. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. Went to bed by 9:00.
24 February (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:30. Today I did not go to college because our lecturers are on leave attending spot valuation at Andhra University. Today it was very cloudy and cool. Today I wanted to prepare short questions and answers in European History. So, I opened test papers in the morning. But my brain resented me and refused to grab content from the book. I felt uneasy and disturbed about my brain’s behavior toward my orders. So, I avoided my preparation today. I always believed in my Lord Krishna with my faults and merits. This time He is behaving seriously with me. What happened to my brain? Who cursed me? May Mother Saraswati bless and guide me. My savior is Lord Krishna. Went to bed by 9:30.
25 February (Friday)
Woke up by 6:00. All the day spent at home. Today I prepared short questions and answers from the Modern European History. The preparation went on for six hours with breaks in between. Today it was very cool and cloudy. The sky was burdened with heavy black clouds. The resultant breezes touched my body gently. This afternoon I felt uneasy. My digestive system slightly failed today due to lying down on cot for a long time preparing for the examinations. Today I found good response from my brain. It went on scanning and drawing answers into it. Night watched television for some time. Listened to the ghazals of Jagjit Singh on tape recorder for some time. Thank You my Lord Gopal. Went to bed by 9:00.
26 February (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:00. Spent all my time at home preparing European History. Evening and night watched television for some time. Today I received my third subscription copy of General Knowledge Refresher from Bright Careers Institute in New Delhi. This is the first subscription I sent for a book in my life. It is very informative. Today it was very cool and cloudy. I like such atmosphere very much. But I need a sweetheart to share my joy during these moments of wonders of nature. Otherwise my heart becomes dim and passive resembling the spirit of setting around me. But how can I get it! I am lonely and helpless. Went to sleep by 10:00.
27 February (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:30. Spent most of my time at home preparing one-mark questions and answers from European History. I became a bit weak due to continuous reading. Evening watched television to refresh myself. Watched the Telugu feature film “Prema” of Venkatesh and Revathi on Eenadu television channel. It is a good love story. If one gets deep in love, it becomes difficult to come out of it later. It makes one believe that one has a long relationship with one’s beloved for births together. I enjoyed the acting of my dear S P Bala Subrahmanyam in it. Today it was cloudy. Went to sleep by 9:30.
28 February (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. Today I did not prepare any subject. My classmates previously decided to celebrate our class function today. Took a bus from Adduroad by 11:30. Went to our college by 12:30. I knew that our class function would not take place today because our dear economics lecturer Prabhakara Rao is currently engaged in his spot valuation duties at Andhra University. Some girls came to the class wearing attractive dresses. They were disappointed at this news. At last, after the necessary consultation with the principal and lecturers, Chitti Babu, Prasad, Ganapathi and Ashok, our classmates and the organizers of this class function, announced that this postponed class function would be held in the afternoon hours on the coming Wednesday. Returned home by bus. Went to sleep by 9:00.
29 February (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:00. Last night I slept in the open and so cold caught me by this morning. Last night I was disturbed slightly from my sleep by cold winds. Today I spent at home preparing essay questions and answers from Freedom Movement of India. I felt dim because of spending much time at home preparing for the examinations. Today I ate many pieces of papaya. It made me a bit giddy. Today it was very hot. I think it is preface for the ensuing vigorous summer. Recently I became physically weak. I think it is due to disorderly food consumption habits followed by me all through my college working days. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on radio for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00.
1 March (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Today it is the first day of March, a month of examinations, preparations and growing heat. Took a bus at Adduroad by 12:30 for Elamanchili. Today we (final year B.A. students) celebrated farewell function in our classroom. It was started by 3:30. Hanumantha Rao, the present principal of our college, C Surya Sobhan, our history lecturer, N Naga Bhushana Rao, our public economics lecturer, Prabhakara Rao, our population education lecturer and Venkata Ramaiah, the physical director of our college were the guests at this occasion. The function went on for three hours. Students expressed their views. Lecturers made valuable suggestions to us. Mementoes were presented to the lecturers. Returned home by 8:00 by bus. Went to sleep by 9:30.
2 March (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:00. Spent all my time at home preparing essay questions and answers from Freedom Movement of India. Evening my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani, my nephew Sujan and my uncle Satya Narayana Raju came from Mallavaram. My thought follows, “Indian traditional marriage system is a set of atrocities against women. They have no freedom for choosing their life partners. Her parents and elders select and finalize bridegroom for her. Simply she has to bow low to wear sacred thread (called Mangala Soothram in Telugu) in her neck being presented by her husband as a customary band of mutual bond. Women are victimized in most of their dealings with their in-laws after marriage. Her character should have the essential quality of conformity to the norms and orders set by the blind traditional society and her arrogant husband, additional burden to her vulnerable life”. Went to sleep by 9:00.
3 March (Friday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day stayed at home and prepared from the test papers of Freedom Movement of India. My thought follows, “The social and religious reformers, who struggled a lot in the 18th and 19th centuries, to eradicate the social and religious evils prevalent in India, could not bring a substantial change in the Hindu mindset or way of life. Even today dowry system, caste system, communal unrest and atrocities against women are prevalent in the Indian society. Women are still treated as inferior creatures. They are being exploited economically. The Indian agriculture and employment sectors are good examples to see how women are being treated and paid for their services. The rich and educated women are not victims to these social evils to much extent. Majority of them are free to plan and decide about their lives and professions. It is the poor that are arresting their progress remaining uneducated and ignorant. They don’t like novelty of life. Basically human attitude is narrow and evil. It gets activated when opportunity beckons”. Went to sleep by 9:30.
4 March (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent all my time at home. Today it is a holy day for the devotees of Lord Shiva. Today it is “Maha Shiva Raathri”, the most favorite day of Lord Parameswara. I am a devotee of Lord Krishna. Vedas proclaim that there is no difference between Shiva and Keshava. So, I have to celebrate this festival in a special way. But I could not. It is due to my engagement in preparation for the ensuing annual exams. Moreover, for the last four years, I have been keeping myself away from the spiritual facet of my life, being a part of the speedy age of modernity. Night my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani, my mother and my aunt Raja Kumari observed “Jaagaaram” (spending night without sleep worshipping Lord Shiva). Went to bed by 10:00.
5 March (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:30. Spent all my time at home preparing for the ensuing examinations. My request to my Lord Gopal follows. Oh Gopal! You are the resident of my heart. You are the director of the cosmos. This time I did not prepare well for my examinations. So, I request You to help me in the examinations. I pray You to bless me with discipline by which I can concentrate on my studies. Give me enough strength to do these exams effectively. My salutes to Mother Saraswati. Oh Goddess! Bless me with intelligence and dynamism. Oh Lord Ganapathi! Make my life safe and secure preventing hurdles of growth. I pray all of you to guide me in the path of happiness and success. Went to sleep by 9:00.
6 March (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day stayed at home. Today I prepared my history subject for some time. After that I started preparing Public Economics. Today it was very hot. The initial signs of the following wild summer are emerging slowly. Evening I felt giddy because of spending much time on cot and in chair preparing for the exams. Avoided my supper for this reason. But, being furious against my health, I had milk, coffee, curd and some other eatables to teach a lesson to my giddiness. I don’t like giddiness at all but it attacks me frequently. May Lord Ganesh bless and guide me. May Lord Hanuman give me enough strength and caliber to face my ensuing exams. Went to bed by 9:30.
7 March (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:00. Today I prepared Public Economics for ten hours. Even today I felt dizzy in the evening. I dislike this health disorder a lot. The world seems as if it is revolving around itself very fast (universal fact). When I recollect my recent food consumption history, I find one thing. One day I ate plenty of papaya. It was not an adequately ripe one. My faulty food consumption pattern of that day might have made me unhealthy today (belated revenge). Today I took some tablets (remedial measure) for its cure but there is no recovery. I blame my gluttony of eating all the fruit that day. Moreover I am a large-scale consumer of sweets. Knowingly I am following all these harmful food habits. Troubling with dizziness went to bed by 9:00.
8 March (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:00. Today I spent at home preparing Public Economics. Even today I felt weak. Today I did not take the tablets, which I bought recently. I don’t like to accustom my body to medicines. According to medical systems, if once heavy use of medicines is introduced to the body to get rid of a health disorder, later on, it won’t follow its inbuilt natural cure mechanism. I dislike sickness. I like loss of money to get rid of it if it continues for long. During preparation for exams, nobody can bear these villainous health disorders. Today it is “International Women’s Day”. It is a good occasion to remind the men of the world that there are some living human beings still suffering behind the iron bars (tradition and superstitions) struggling for freedom from the cruel male dominated society. May women survive and excel with vitality and dignity as time flows on. Went to bed by 9:30.
9 March (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day stayed at home preparing Public Economics. Today also I felt weak in the evening. My thought follows, “I believe that the intensity or strength of love between two lovers grows depending on the physical distance between them due to their preferences or external forces. If they are true and possessive lovers, winter and rainy seasons torture them a lot irrationally. Lonely lovers suffer a lot during these two seasons, especially at night, when it is raining outside or dew is falling. During such times, the external environment looks magnetic and melodious to their eyes and ears. Then their mind (which turns passionate and sensitive by then) gets deep to recollect their experiences shared with their sweethearts. Those moments of recollection of great past with one’s beloved are invaluable assets of one’s consciousness”. Went to sleep by 9:00.
10 March (Friday)
Woke up by 6:00. Went to NRPM railway station by 9:00 on bicycle. Took Tirumala Express and reached Elamanchili by 9:30. Went to our college along with our Economics Lecturer Prabhakara Rao and submitted my project report of Population Education to him. Today some competitions were conducted in our college in view of the forthcoming College Annual Day. I did not like to spend there watching them. Returned home by 11:00. Prepared Public Economics for some time. Afternoon we watched my brother’s marriage on television playing the two videocassettes (one is the original one and the other one is the one to which video and audio formats of beauty and melody are added by computer technology). There was no audio and video clarity in them. He did not add those Telugu cine songs properly, which I gave him for mix. Evening my brother Sambha and I went to him (in Elamanchili) on scooter and told him seriously to do the video and audio mix correctly again. Went to sleep by 9:30.
11 March (Saturday)
Got up by 6:00. All the day stayed at home preparing Population Education. Night watched my favorite weekly Telugu program “Paaduthaa Theeyagaa” on Eenadu television channel. It is said that this program was started on 16 May 1996. It completed 200 episodes of telecast by today. So, in today’s program, “Some Past Events of Program” were shown. It is a program conceived and directed by S P Bala Subrahmanyam to encourage talent in youth in the field of singing. Even small children participated in this program now and then. It has been a great attraction for me on television. Today my mother left for Gollalagunta to attend a marriage. My aunt Raja Kumari and my uncle Rama Raju accompanied her. Night slept in the open by 10:00.
12 March (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:00. All the day stayed at home. Spent most of my time preparing for the examinations. Afternoon and evening spent watching Telugu programs on television for some time. My thought follows, “Hindus believe that one gets human birth after many inferior births. I don’t like this account. Man mostly depends on other creatures in the world for his survival on earth. He collects flowers and fruits from plants and trees. He can’t spend his life without the cooperation of the five elements to him. He is a master in exploiting the world. He uses his body for his needs and pleasures while alive. His dead body is useless. In my view, puritanical saints and generous people are the good ones. Others are negligible”. Went to sleep by 10:30.
13 March (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. Today I prepared Population Education. Reached NRPM railway station by 4:00. Took Simhadri Express and reached Elamanchili by 4:30. Proceeded to our college. Today our College Annual Day celebrations took place. This program was started by 5:30. Bulusu Venkateshwara Rao, the Principal of Government Degree College, Tuni, attended the function as the chief guest. He is a scholar and writer in Telugu. They awarded an endowment prize to me for getting highest marks (at our college level) in English subject in the two academic years. Today my classmates Nookeswari, Kanaka Maha Lakshmi, Vijaya and Ramanamma gifted me a book titled 1000 to 2000 (which chronicles the history of India from year 1000 to year 2000 describing milestones) as a token of their friendship for me. Went to sleep by 12:00.
14 March (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:30. All the day stayed at home and prepared Population Education. Today I wrote two letters to two persons in our college. One letter is to Hanumantha Rao, the present principal of our college, informing him that I am unable to come to college on the scheduled date to receive my prize money for getting the highest marks in English. I added that I am busy preparing for my public examinations which warns me not to go anywhere during these few days. Another letter is to G L Sudha Rani, the lecturer in physics in our college, congratulating her on her appreciable skills in directing her students for presenting a good playlet on the stage in our recently held College Anniversary. This evening, for the first time in my life, I learnt riding Kinetic Luna. I felt very happy. My brother Sambha guided me. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on radio. Went to bed by 9:00.
15 March (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day stayed at home preparing Population Education. I wanted to go to our mango grove at hills in the evening on Kinetic Luna (this old and second-hand and yet pretty vehicle belongs to the father-in-law of my brother Sambha). It is a pleasure trip for me. Riding a Luna for some time to some distance is a matter of great enjoyment and thrill for me but my father, who has been cruel toward me for long, did not allow me to go to our mango grove on Luna. He never thought about my happiness. He always thought and struggled for money because he was born into a family of penury and hardships. Money is all for him. He is such person who does not hesitate to sell himself to somebody for money. I felt very dejected due to many of his acts of treatment toward me in the past. Even today I felt the same. I pray God to take me away from him soon. Went to bed by 9:00.
16 March (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:30. Stayed at home and prepared Political Thought for much time. By 2:30 went to our nearby filling station by main road and got one liter of petrol filled in the tank of Kinetic Luna. Came back on it and directed my journey toward our mango grove. This is the first time I am riding a Luna for a jolly trip. I felt very delightful riding it. Reached our mango garden by 3:30. Enjoyed myself walking alone in our mango garden for one hour. Spent at the house of my uncle Narayana Murthy for one hour. Returned home by 6:00. Night, around 11:00, a theft of pet fowls took place at our house. A thief stole nearly ten cocks and hens in a very tricky and wise way. This is the first theft at our home after we entered it. The thief was so skilled that the fowls did not make even little sounds when he was holding them in their shelter. My folks were sleeping very near their shelter but they could not sense any sign of theft when the thief was carrying out that act. Went to sleep by 10:00.
17 March (Friday)
Woke up by 5:30. Today I prepared Political Thought. Evening went to Adduroad and saw the Telugu film “Prema Gharshana” of Arjun and Sonali Bendre. Sonali is one of the beautiful film actresses of India. Her stature stands for Indianness and innocence. Her fascinating smiles attract the hearts of viewers. However, this film has weak story and dreary twists. Returned home by 9:00 on bicycle. In fact, today, I wanted to attend the “Felicitation Function to Pandit Ravi Shankar” being held at T Subba Rami Reddy Kala Mandir in Visakhapatnam. But I could not attend it due to lack of information about it in time. Went to sleep by 10:30.
18 March (Saturday)
Got up by 5:30. All the day stayed at home preparing Political Thought. Night watched television for some time. Today I received 500 rupees by Money Order from my brother Srinivas. I gave 20 rupees to the postman as my fee of affection for him. My brother sent me this money asking me to renew my subscription to Telugu daily Eenadu (daily delivered at home by paperboy). I have been living in ignorance (about the world) for a long time being away from the regular touch of newspapers. They are treasure troves of the latest information and knowledge about the contemporary occurrences and phenomena around us. One can’t be ‘contemporary’ unless one is in touch with newspapers. Being born into a family of tradition and superstition, I became a prey to ignorance. May knowledge awaken me. Went to sleep by 9:30.
19 March (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent all my time at home preparing Political Thought. Today it is Holi, the festival of colors in India. The various colors used in this festival symbolize the cultural diversity of Indians. The mixture of various colors gets different beauty. Throwing different powders of color and colored water on near and dear ones is like accepting and appreciating the richness and holiness of the faiths of others. Happiness lies in the unity of the people of various places and faiths. Evening went to see the marriage of my cousin Geetha. I did not stay there for more than 30 minutes because her husband did not look suitable beside her. My salutes to Lord Gopal. Went to sleep by 10:00.
20 March (Monday)
Woke up by 6:00. All the day stayed at home preparing Political Thought. Evening went to Adduroad to take the Ayurvedic tonic “LIVOSIN” or “Kayam Churna” from one to whom I gave money to buy and bring either one of them from Elamanchili. It is for me to keep my digestive system active. I have been staying at home for the last three weeks. I am eating enough homemade food prepared by my mother. Yet I remained physically weak. What may be the reason? Perhaps my digestive system would have slightly failed and so my body is unable to collect all the energy from the food I am consuming (unless the raw material is processed well, its innermost and desired essence can’t be received well by the mechanical organs of a human body or a factory). Evening took my nephew Sujan to Adduroad on bicycle. Recently the maternal grandparents of my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani got telephone connection to their house in Mallavaram. Venkatapathi Raju (also called Chanti Babu), the maternal grandfather of my sister-in-law, wanted Sujan to talk with him over telephone. So, today, Sujan and I telephoned Mallavaram from a public telephone booth. Went to bed by 9:00.
21 March (Tuesday)
Got up by 5:30. All the day stayed at home preparing Public Administration. Today I received a letter from New Delhi. The folks of a unit informed me that they will send me a Japan Model Television if I send them 250 rupees by Money Order in advance (expecting the gift to be sent soon by them after receiving my money). I felt very angry against their deceitful nature. So, I wrote a postcard in a very serious language to send them. Perhaps they shiver to read my letter. I see many such advertisements in newspapers stating that fabulous prizes would be sent to lucky winners. I don’t know how long these bloody scoundrels cheat ignorant people through their attractive gimmicks of various kinds. The government should do something serious to prevent these nasty creatures of the society from exploiting the ignorant. The ignorant should not be blamed if these rogues cheat them. It is the moral responsibility of the wise (the intelligent government representing the common people) to save the helpless from frauds, crimes and the related pains and tragedies. I don’t think they do such great things to save good people from bad ones. Went to sleep by 9:00.
22 March (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day stayed at home preparing Public Administration. My thought follows, “Human society is filled with such indecent and immoral blokes who say a lot about good things of life but practice very little out of all that they greatly talk about. Some uneducated brutes command/harass their children to study well. They say adages also to motivate their vulnerable children in that direction. They are experts in advising others but not in following what other people tell them about their safety and comfort. The backwardness of a country is largely due to the percentage of uneducated brutes it contains, because these illiterate creatures don’t accept and follow novel and ideal thoughts, which is important for the development of a nation. They remain adhered to their age-old values and beliefs. Nobody can change them. So, the overall development of a nation, with them, remains distant dream”. Went to sleep by 9:00.
23 March (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day stayed at home preparing Public Administration. Today I started taking the Ayurvedic tonic “Livosin”. Today the paperboy started delivering the Telugu daily Eenadu to us. Two days ago, Bill Clinton, the present President of the United States of America, came to India, along with his daughter, on a five-day long official tour in India. It is good development towards the establishment of friendly relations between these two influential democracies of the world. Some political parties resented his visit to India from the perspective of the bad effects of globalization he represents. I don’t agree with their view. When that country is making many Indians millionaires within a few years, accepting them as its citizens also in some cases, why should Indians react with such narrow-minded outlook talking nonsense about globalization? It is talent and hard work that matters in the present age. The US represents these two essential qualities necessary for human development. They know well how to develop using the intelligence and hard work of people coming from other countries. Indians should learn it from that country instead of staging these silly protests every time a foreigner comes. If there are some disputes and issues, let them be resolved through friendly negotiations. Such relations should be based on honesty and kindness for one another rather than diplomacy and double standards. Went to sleep by 9:50.
24 March (Friday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day stayed at home preparing Public Administration. Today William Jefferson Bill Clinton, the 42nd President of the USA, visited Hyderabad. It is first time that an American president is visiting a south Indian state. He came to Hyderabad by 10:45 by special flight arranged for him. He spent there for 270 minutes. He visited Mahavir Hospital and High-tech City. Today it is T.B. Day. Around 4:00 the American president left for Mumbai from Hyderabad along with his daughter, retinue and others. The Eenadu television channel presented the live telecast of his visit to Hyderabad. Today a little swelling came up in my right lower eyelid. Night applied an ointment to it. May Lord Gopal bless me. Went to bed by 9:30.
25 March (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day stayed at home preparing Public Administration. By today my 30-day long preparation is over. I prepared all the six subjects in order. Five days of time is allotted for each subject. The order of the subjects I prepared was: History of Modern Europe (1789-1945), History of Freedom Movement in India (1857-1947), Public Economics, Population Education, Political Thought and Public Administration. As I have no required amount of time for preparation, this kind of intensive strategic preparation program was chalked out and implemented by me. I thank Lord Ganesh, Mother Saraswati and Lord Gopal for making my plan a grand success. Night watched television for some time. Went to bed by 10:00.
26 March (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent most of my time at home preparing for the ensuing examinations. Evening went to the house of the parents of my sister-in-law Kranti in Tangedu to borrow their Kinetic Luna. I have to go to Narsipatnam Road railway station, early in the morning, during my examinations. Having a vehicle for a comfortable journey helps me in this regard. Aunt Janaki is a good one. She narrated me the story of her life. It was touching. May God bless her. Had my supper in their house. Night stayed there. Went to sleep by 9:00.
27 March (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30 in the house of my sister-in-law Kranti in Tangedu. Had my breakfast there and took their Kinetic Luna by 8:00. Reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Took Tirumala Express and reached Elamanchili by 9:30. Went to our degree college to collect my Hall Ticket for the coming public examinations. But I found discouraging atmosphere at our college. Our acting principal Hanumantha Rao did not come to college today. There were no other staff members. Students were disturbed by this irritating situation at college during this hard time of examinations. Nevertheless, by evening, hall tickets were issued to students under the official responsibility of our English Lecturer Jaya Parvathy. I too collected my hall ticket. Returned home by 4:00 by Tirumala Express. Night prepared one mark bit questions and answers from Public Economics. Went to sleep by 9:30.
28 March (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day stayed at home preparing Population Education. This evening a small accident took place on the main road near our house. The rickshaw puller stopped his vehicle on the left side of the road. When my nephew Sujan (about four years old) was crossing the road to come to our house, with the schoolbag at his back, he was hit by a scooter coming from Adduroad. He applied sudden brakes noticing the innocent child crossing the road and so it turned out a little accident. A little part of skin split on his head. I rushed him immediately to Dr Srinivas in Adduroad. He checked the injury and told me to be at ease. He stitched the split part of the skin together on the right side of his head. I felt very touched to imagine the pain being undergone by our little creature when the doctor was stitching the split inside. I regretted to know that there was no anesthesia facility over here. The scooter rider belongs to our nearby village Koruprolu. We cannot put the blame on him for this accident. He is a gentleman. I brought Sujan back to home by 5:30. God saved him. Went to bed by 9:00.
29 March (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day stayed at home preparing Public Economics. My thought follows, “Nowadays there is no favorable atmosphere for a dedicated student to prepare well for his or her examinations. Even if one sits in the corner of a room, closing all the windows and doors, to get rid of the noise coming from outside, some disturbing sounds somehow enter the room piercing the solid walls of the house. The electronic and vehicular noise brought a hell for students. On one hand radio, television and other domestic appliances of entertainment disturb one from within the house and vehicles, loudspeakers, hawkers and such other agents of the external environment distract one from outside. Nobody can avoid it. So, the present students suffer with it”. Went to bed by 9:00.
30 March (Thursday)
Got up by 5:30. All the day stayed at home preparing Public Economics. My thought follows, “Ninety percent of the Indian politics and the related activities are now concentrated in the hands of the rich and the influential. I don’t agree with the common saying that democracy provides equal opportunities to all. Now democracy is ruined due to a gang of beggars of votes and robbers of public money. Poverty is the most unwanted quality disqualifying one to participate in the rich game of the privileged (democracy). Political power comes from generation to generation in a hereditary manner and is not transferred from the poor and the ignorant to the virtuous and the wise aiming at the welfare of the nation at large supported by good rulers. Politicians should know and practice tricks and tactics to gain and retain power and need not have knowledge and honesty to understand the world and rule the nation in a dedicated and ideal manner. It is related to the art of cheating public with attractive words but not developing them explaining them the bitter truths associated with an issue or a society. Hypocrites can be great politicians. Such public criminals and sinners never develop a nation faster. Politics is all about criticizing the demerits of others, while appreciating their very few merits”. Went to sleep by 9:00.
31 March (Friday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day stayed at home preparing Public Economics. By today my preparation before the exams ended. The battle of our final year B.A. examinations would be started tomorrow. I pray Lord Ganesh to prevent hurdles in my path of successful completion of examinations. I pray Mother Saraswati to bless me with enough memory and intelligence to effectively face these examinations. The peace of my disturbed life, during and after these examinations, depends on Her blessings. May my Mother direct me well in this world of enlightenment and intellect. My prayers to Lord Krishna to bless and guide me. My prayers to all my lecturers to bless me with courage and energy to face these exams. Went to sleep by 8:00.
1 April (Saturday)
Woke up by 3:30. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 4:30 on Kinetic Luna (borrowed from my uncle to use during my examinations). Took Godavari Express and reached Elamanchili by 5:45. Sat at Ghantasala Kala Mandir and scanned the subject for some time. Had my breakfast and proceeded to examination hall. Did Public Economics paper very well from 9:00 to 12:00. Today I took seven additional answer sheets. Came back to railway station, took Bokaro-Alleppey Express and reached home by 4:00. Physically and mentally I became very tired. I could not allot much time for preparation of European History. My eyes went deep. My mind became inactive. Went to bed by 7:30.
2 April (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent all my time at home preparing Modern European History. My thought follows, “Nobody knows where God is living. The belief of man about the existence and superiority of God is great. Otherwise there is no necessity of the temples of various gods and goddesses in this world. Man should believe in God. Conflicts and clashes among the people of different faiths show the meanness of humans. One must control one’s mind to lead ideal life in society. Religion shows an ideal path paved and followed by other people in the past. One should be much disciplined to practice it in its true spirit. Religion must be a small part of one’s life. It is enough if one can love all in the world. God likes such sensitive and sensible people. He hates His cruel and sinful devotees. Religion is a fatal weapon in the hands of the profane and a healer in the hands of the virtuous”. My salutes to Lord Gopal. Went to sleep by 8:00.
3 April (Monday)
Woke up by 3:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 4:00. Scanned one mark bit questions and answers for some time at the station. Took Godavari Express and reached Elamanchili by 5:30. Went to Ghantasala Kala Mandir and prepared History of Modern Europe (1789-1945) for some time. Sat in the examination hall by 9:00. Did the examination satisfactorily. Came back to railway station and caught Bokaro-Alleppey Express. Reached home by 12:45. Started preparing Political Thought. Continued it for five hours. Scanned all the content of the subject supposed to be prepared. My brain fails to grasp the content if I continue my preparation any further and so stopped it at that. May Lord Krishna bless me. May all the deities keep their blessing hands towards me. Went to bed by 8:00.
4 April (Tuesday)
Woke up by 3:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 4:00. Took Godavari Express and reached Elamanchili by 5:30. Went to Ghantasala Kala Mandir (located beside public library) and scanned the content of Political Thought. Did this paper for three hours. This question paper was prepared in favor of the students (easy to answer). I did well in this paper. By today my Paper III examinations came to an end. Came back to railway station by 12:30. My expected train had already left. Saw the Telugu film “Annayya” in cinema Venkateshwara. Took Godavari Express and reached home by 6:30. Night left my brain free of preparation burden. Listened to cine songs on tape recorder for one hour. The melodious music healed my weary brain. Went to sleep by 9:00.
5 April (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day stayed at home preparing essays from Population Education. Today it is the Telugu New Year Day “Ugadi”. I did not do anything special. Many traditional Hindus do a lot to celebrate these auspicious occasions but ours is a different family. They don’t know the positive aspects of Indian tradition but superstitions which they follow devotedly. A financially dependent creature like me can’t reform a family. Superstitions can’t be removed from the culture of a society by any reformer. No reformer in the world could find out a way to deal with them. They live with them until they die. Good principles and practices of a tradition or culture can’t be understood by ordinary people even if extraordinary people teach them in a very easily understandable way. But superstitions spread across human societies like cyclonic winds. Nobody can prevent this bad feature of a society and so better to bear it. Night watched television for some time. Went to bed by 11:00.
6 April (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day stayed at home preparing Population Education. My thought follows, “Religion is something to be followed by the orders of one’s conscience. One should not take a religion or transfer oneself from one religion to another based on the teachings of others. A number of gods and goddesses are available in this world of human beliefs. Everybody can select one from them and follow that religion in a dedicated manner at personal level. One should not take one’s religion seriously in public because it may hurt the feelings and beliefs of people from other religions. God does not appear in person to anybody in any religion. It is said that He has no form of fixed visual appearance. Some artists drew the pictures of gods and goddesses based on their imaginations and creativity. We treat them as the real pictures of those deities. Religion provides us with a sense of security and holiness and guides us in the path of virtues to some extent. Man should not waste his time thinking seriously about the existence of God. He should teach himself to love all in this world as human beings, irrespective of their religions”. Went to bed by 9:00.
7 April (Friday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day stayed at home preparing Population Education. Today it is the “World Health Day”. It is good to observe some days specially to remind the people about the burning issues of the contemporary world but the achievements are not satisfactory so far in this direction. There are cartons of quality medicines in medical stores but they are not affordable and accessible to many patients. Adulteration reached even medicines. Now health facilities are not within the reach of common people. He is unable to get healthy food, good clothes and reliable shelter for his simple life despite his hard work daily in agricultural farms and factories. Exploitation is the quality of the social and economic elite. So, the disadvantaged human race can’t get good health being among them. The richest don’t like to look at the lifestyles of the poor. It is a tradition. We can follow it, we can regret it and we can discuss it but we can’t change it. Went to bed by 9:30.
8 April (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day stayed at home preparing Population Education. It is an optional subject for final year B.A. students in our college. Population increased drastically in India from 1920 to 1980. It became a big problem for the government to deal with. Indians have been dedicated and skilled contributors to population explosion over the years. The reproductive potential of our people is very high. The family planning measures implemented by various governments so far yielded negligible results only in this regard. Lack of quality food for the poor, unemployment and pollution are the burning issues in countries with high population. Malthus believed that special measures are not necessary to arrest the growth of population in any country. Nature (coupled with divine will) attends it carefully (natural calamities, disasters, fatal diseases, wars, accidents, communal clashes and so on). It seems to be the best remedial process to this disorder. Went to bed by 9:00.
9 April (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day stayed at home preparing Public Administration. Night called up my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani at Mallavaram to know about her arrival to our house. Night it rained a bit. My thought follows, “A boy or a girl can’t withstand the forces of attraction for the opposite gender after reaching certain age. The heart desires to speak with a beautiful girl or boy. One hour, spent with one’s sweetheart, appears to be equal to one year’s happiness in one’s common life. Every night turns into a sphere of sweet dreams. Every human heart craves for a sweetheart. If not available, it slips into the valley of lovesickness. The lovely look of a pretty girl is like a thunder of wonder for a young heart to face. Youth is heavenly and unruly in many. Every thought and memory of great love is a God’s gift for humans. May love and beauty coexist amicably forever”. Went to bed by 9:00.
10 April (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day stayed at home preparing Public Administration. This morning a bloody rogue reached us the news of demise of an old woman in village Raja Venkata Nagaram who is a relative to us in some way if we check our family tree of some decades. Consequently the traditional effect of “myla” (for some days and nights one should live the hellish life of touch-me-not observing this practice if one of one’s close relatives passes away) spread in our house. My parents are traditional and superstitious. They accord more importance to a custom to be followed after one’s death rather than for the welfare and happiness of the creatures living now around them. I hate these regressive and irrational observations in the Hindu culture. I am a cursed one to be born in this family of superstitions. I want to revenge against all these blokes as an answer for their brainless observation of this nonsense. They will face severe judgment by me soon. Went to bed by 9:00.
11 April (Tuesday)
Got up by 5:30. All the day stayed at home preparing Public Administration. Even today all our family members observed the horrible and nasty custom of “myla”. According to this, one should not go into one’s house. One should not touch other clothes in the house. One should keep oneself away from touching liquids, which need to be touched later for use. Any other person should not touch the person who is observing myla. If it happened, despite precautions, the contaminated one should bathe himself or herself from his or her head to toes along with all the clothes on his or her body. When the observation of this custom is over, after ten days, all the affected ones should take a full bath (from head to toes). I don’t know how, why and when this custom was introduced into the Hindu culture, but even today, it is affecting the uneducated and orthodox families like ours. Went to sleep by 10:00.
12 April (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Today I spent much of my time at home preparing Public Administration. Today Hindus are celebrating “Sri Rama Navami” (the birth anniversary of Lord Rama) in a traditional way. Evening went to Adduroad and bought a piece of cloth for my nephew Sujan (in view of his birthday soon). We bought two cloth pieces in a shop and gave them to a tailor for stitching them into a shirt and a pair of trousers for him. We attended this work travelling on Kinetic Luna. I did not celebrate “Sri Rama Navami” in a considerable way. I am completely engaged in my preparation for the exams. I have to fight with three more papers to get my B.A. certificate. I did well in the previous three papers. May all the gods and goddesses enable me to do well even in the remaining three papers. Went to bed by 9:00.
13 April (Thursday)
Got up by 5:30. All the day stayed at home preparing Freedom Movement in India (from 1857 to 1947). Tasty curries were not prepared at home. My mother cannot cook curries like beetroot and carrot. We buy such vegetables in the weekly market at Adduroad (every Sunday), which do not give energy to body. Even my sisters-in-law have no proper knowledge of preparing all curries and soups. I like tasty food. So, I avoid eating adequate food even while at home. I remained thin due to this reason. I need good physical structure to be considered a moderate man in the present society. I can only pray God for it. Today the ceremonious marriage of Lord Rama (Hindu God) and Sita (Hindu Goddess) was grandly done at the shrine of Bhadrachalam where Hindu saint Ramadas spent much part of his life worshipping these deities and constructed a big temple for them. Went to bed by 9:00.
14 April (Friday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day stayed at home preparing Freedom Movement in India (from 1857 to 1947). Today it is the birth anniversary of B R Ambedkar. He was an influential leader of the socially oppressed classes in India in the 20th century. He thought and struggled a lot for them and achieved very little. Even today untouchability is prevalent in Hindu society, especially in villages. Upper caste Hindus observe many traditional ways to keep Harijans away from them but everywhere they depend on their services. They blindly follow such customs and observations. Nobody can change their attitudes. But Ambedkar played a great role for the improvement of the lives of backward sections in Hindu society. Went to bed by 8:30.
15 April (Saturday)
Got up by 5:30. All the day stayed at home preparing Freedom Movement in India (from 1857 to 1947). Today I knew that my cousin Raghupati, the eldest son of my teacher uncle K Venkata Rama Raju, got first class in his recently completed engineering examinations. He has been an intelligent student since the early stages of his education. There is encouraging atmosphere around him, which brought him to this level of success today. Many educated parents create healthy atmosphere for their children to study and grow well. Knowledge is like a plant while in one’s brain. It becomes a huge tree (great human achievements) when atmosphere nourishes it. Night I witnessed a sweet dream. A beautiful girl, who was associated with my recent past, turned into a baby. A permanent detachment took place between us. She felt very hurt to be distanced from me forever. Went to bed by 9:00.
16 April (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent all my time at home preparing Freedom Movement in India. Evening went to the nearby filling station by NH-5 road and got the tank of the Kinetic Luna filled. Thereafter went to the weekly market at Adduroad on bicycle and bought vegetables. It turned cloudy and started raining. It stopped me in Adduroad for one hour. Night heavy winds blew. The freedom movement in India is an interesting account. Today India is filled with corruption and violence. Then it was a fight against colonizers to send them out of our country. Now there is nobody to save India from her internal thieves and criminals. Many modern Indians do not follow the theories and practices of Mahatma Gandhi. Simple and sensitive people can’t reform present India. She lost her great character of the past. Went to sleep by 9:00.
17 April (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day stayed at home preparing Freedom Movement in India (from 1857 to 1947). By today my intensive preparation for the ensuing three examinations came to an end. Today I prepared the above subject for ten hours during daytime. Today my father told me that I should join the work in our mango garden as soon as my examinations are over. He is such idiot. He always thinks of ordering everybody around him to do something. He worries a lot to spend money even for his sons and spouse. I want to get rid of this hell of superstitious and traditional observations by him. Otherwise I don’t have future as a gentleman. I will just remain a bloody fool and parasite begging alms from him for my daily life. Went to bed by 9:00.
18 April (Tuesday)
Woke up by 3:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 3:50. Took Godavari Express and reached Elamanchili by 6:00. Went to Ghantasala Kala Mandir and scanned the content of the subject fast. Entered the examination hall by 8:45. Did the paper “Freedom Movement in India (1857 to 1947)” well. Today I took seven additional answer sheets. I wrote the answers very fast. So, my writing became ugly. Came back to railway station and caught Bokaro-Alleppey Express. Reached home by 1:00. Had my lunch and prepared Population Education from 1:30 to 5:00. Went to bed by 9:00.
19 April (Wednesday)
Woke up by 3:30. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 4:30. Took Godavari Express and reached Elamanchili by 6:00. Went to Ghantasala Kala Mandir and scanned the content of Population Education for some time. Had some tiffin at a hotel. Did the paper very well. Came back to railway station by 12:00. Took Bokaro-Alleppey Express and reached home by 1:00. Had my lunch and started preparing Public Administration. I prepared this subject for five hours during daytime and for one hour at night. My prayers to Lord Gopal. My prayers to Mother Saraswati. My prayers to Lord Ganesh. My prayers to all our lecturers. Went to bed by 9:00.
20 April (Thursday)
Woke up by 2:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 3:00. Took Godavari Express and reached Elamanchili by 6:00. Proceeded to Ghantasala Kala Mandir and scanned the content of Public Administration fast. Had some tiffin and proceeded to the examination hall. Did the paper very well. Today I took six additional answer sheets. My final year B.A. examinations came to an end by today. I am grateful to all the gods and goddesses who blest me with such active memory and speed of writing. I did not take these examinations. The blessings of Lord Krishna, Mother Saraswati and all my affectionate and honorable lecturers made me do all these six papers. I owe to all my final year B.A. subjects, which lent some of their content to be kept in my brain. Thanks to my destiny. Went to bed by 11:00.
21 April (Friday)
Woke up by 5:00. Today the fourth birthday of my nephew Sujan Varma was celebrated in our house. Got ready and reached NRPM railway station by 9:00. Took Tirumala Express and reached Elamanchili by 10:00. Thence took a bus and went to Visakhapatnam. Thence took a bus and proceeded to Bheemunipatnam. There bought an application form for the entrance examination into 8th standard in A P residential schools. Came back to Visakhapatnam and went to Tirumala Graphics at Srinagar. Ordered a three-page letter (the manuscript I previously wrote) to be typed up and produced on laser printer. This letter is to send to Maneka Gandhi in New Delhi. Returned home by 8:30 by Visakhapatnam-Rajahmundry passenger train. Today I did ticketless journeys in both the directions. Night attended the marriage of Daraboina Ramu in Ramayyapatnam. Returned from there and went to sleep by 10:30.
22 April (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:30. From 6:30 to 9:30 listened to melodious Telugu cine songs on tape recorder. Went to post office by 10:30. Booked the letter (my letter to her in laser print) to Maneka Gandhi, Minister of State for Social Justice and Empowerment (in the Government of India), in Registered Post. Attached an Acknowledgement Card to the letter. May Lord Gopal, Mother Saraswati and Lord Ganesh bless me with success in this attempt. Afternoon went to the house of my uncle Rama Raju at Raja Venkata Nagaram. Filled in the application form for the entrance test into 8th standard in A P residential school for my cousin Narendra Varma (Naren, the younger son of this uncle). Returned home by 5:00. Night watched television for some time. May my life be improved by the grace of God. Went to bed by 9:30.
23 April (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day stayed at home and spent most of my time watching television. My thought follows, “Creativity is an internal source of excellence installed by God. The arts of singing, writing, painting, dancing and sculpture are some of the creative expressions of human race. They are associated with humans for ages. The nature and profundity of these art forms kept changing from generation to generation being influenced by contemporary times. Any creative art possessed and expressed by man, blest by God, is praiseworthy. Rabindranath Tagore and Raja Ravi Varma from the Indian art field can be considered two distinguished personalities related to this category of artists. A great artist entertains many with his creative art but remains satisfied with a few felicitations from some organizations and admirers. Art and life remain the best friends forever”. Went to sleep by 9:30.
24 April (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent most of the day at home listening to melodious Telugu cine songs on tape recorder and watching television. Night too listened to cine songs on tape recorder at high volume. Night I witnessed a sweet dream. It was related to my past life. The parents in villages always think of keeping their sons and daughters away from their sweethearts. But deep lovers can’t bear such separation from one another. Spending even one day without seeing one’s sweetheart creates much pain in one’s heart. The hypocritical society does not blame the immoral acts of its beings if they are going on beyond its notice. But pure and sensitive lovers can’t succeed in their love affairs in the orthodox Indian society. I am one of such victims of the Indian society. This is what I saw in my dream. Went to bed by 9:00.
25 April (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Took Luna by 9:30 and moved to our mango grove at hills. Spent my daytime enjoying the inspiring environment there. This year the mango crop is not satisfactory. Returned home by 5:00. Freshened up myself and started to village K Purushothapuram by bus from Adduroad by 6:30. For the last 15 days, an annual fair, marking the formal worship of Mother Thaallamma (their village goddess) has been going on in that village. I was invited to see that celebration by the relatives of my sister-in-law Kranti living in that village. Spent there happily with them for some time. I observed some cruel and inhuman acts taking place in that fair. The villagers cut the throats of five or six sheep with a sword (they offer them to their village goddess praying her to save their village from dangers throughout the year until the following fair in the coming year). It is a social crime publicly going on in many villages. Went to sleep by 10:30.
26 April (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Went to our mango grove at hills by 10:30 on Luna. Spent there till 4:00. Returned home by 5:00. Went to Adduroad to meet lineman. Our house remained disconnected from electricity supply for the last 20 hours. Waited for him for a long time but he did not show up. I have been subscribing to Telugu daily Eenadu for the last two months. These days reading a newspaper is necessary for keeping ourselves up-to-date. My brother Srinivas is paying for it. My parents are not ready to pay for it. They said that they don’t need it. Went to bed by 9:30.
27 April (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:00. All the day stayed at home listening to melodious Telugu cine songs on tape recorder. I experience bliss while listening to them. Evening went to Tangedu by bus to give some homemade sweets to the parents of my sister-in-law Kranti. I am becoming weak due to heat of summer. In this season, many tend to consume beverages time to time. They dislike eating adequate food for this reason. It may be the reason for people becoming weak in hot weather conditions. Now many are suffering from severe thirst. Only God has to help them blessing them with rains. Went to sleep by 10:30 in Tangedu.
28 April (Friday)
Got up by 5:30. Returned home by 8:30 from Tangedu. Rest of the day spent at home listening to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder and watching television. My thought follows, “Poverty is the main cause for all the evils in orthodox society. When much of the wealth in a nation remains with a few, the remaining get exploited and suppressed. They can’t find equal opportunities to live and develop like others. Nobody worries about their problems. Self-awareness can bring a change in their lives to some extent. It is nothing but to have progressive thinking and stop practicing false beliefs. The observation of one’s tradition and culture do not provide one with food and shelter. One should change one’s lifestyle in tune to the contemporary times to live meaningfully and peacefully. Conservatives are rarely loved by all”. Went to bed by 9:30.
29 April (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:00. From 5:30 to 8:00 listened to devotional songs on our tape recorder. Watched television for some time. Got ready soon and went to Adduroad by 11:00. Today my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani, my nephew Sujan and I started to Molleru Mallavaram. We took Rajahmundry bound express bus by 12:30. Reached Jaggampeta by 2:30. Thence took a bus for Mallavaram by 3:00. Reached our destination by 4:30. We had a pleasant journey all the way. Mallavaram is situated among hills. The surroundings look green always. People here know well how to take care of their guests and relatives. Night my brother Srinivas telephoned us from Baramulla. Went to bed by 10:00.
30 April (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day stayed within Mallavaram. Spent listening to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for much time. It was pleasant and refreshing today. Clouds, thunders and lightning decorated the sky. It healed me. Spending in nature and dying in its lap are boons to human beings. Nature is a creation of God and so it looks attractive and refreshing always. He is kind. My salutes to Him. Night played the game of Astaa Chemma with my sisters-in-law Sandhya Rani, Sowjanya and aunt Kumari. We enjoyed it. Went to sleep by 9:30.
1 May (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent in Mallavaram till 4:00. Prepared best wishes for my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani and my brother-in-law Raja to send to Eenadu television channel in Hyderabad. They will be greeted in its daily morning telecast “Mano Ranjani” on the 21st of this month. The marriage anniversary of my brother Srinivas and sister-in-law Sandhya Rani and the birthday of Raja fall on that date (coincidence). By 4:30 took a bus for Molleru from Mallavaram. Got off it and reached Ramula Devapuram by 5:00 on foot. My maternal aunt Satyavathi and my uncle Ramakrishnam Raju are living there. They are very affectionate. Went to bed by 9:30.
2 May (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:00. All the day spent within Ramula Devapuram. By 8:00 went to the house of Narayana Raju, the father-in-law of my paternal uncle Narayana Murthy, and spent there for two hours. Later went to the house of Raja Kumari, the younger sister of my uncle Ramakrishnam Raju, and spent there for three hours watching Gemini television channel. Came back to the house of my uncle by 1:15. Had my lunch and went to the house of Bharati, the elder sister of my uncle Ramakrishnam Raju. There watched a Telugu feature film on television for one hour. Evening went to the house of aunt Venu, the daughter of aunt Bharati. Spent there for half an hour. By 7:00 had a bath at the hand pump near the government school. My maternal grandfather Subba Raju is presently staying here. He is financially and physically weak. He came here to spend happily for some days at the house of his daughter. Went to sleep by 9:00.
3 May (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:00. Spent in Ramula Devapuram till 11:30. Got ready and started my journey to Molleru. Reached there by 1:00 walking for half an hour. Took a bus by 2:00 and reached Jaggampeta by 3:00. Thence took a bus for Gollalagunta by 4:00. Reached the house of my maternal grandparents by 5:00. By 5:30 it started raining and continued for half an hour. It became very cool and enjoyable for me. This village changed a lot. The upper primary school in this village was upgraded to high school (the prior has classes up to seventh standard and the latter has classes up to tenth standard). Good road is there connecting the nearby villages. The number of houses increased in this village. People became financially sound and enlightened compared to the past. Went to sleep by 9:30.
4 May (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day spent within Gollalagunta. Morning Saint Appanna Swamy (my spiritual guide) came here. He spent here for some time. I took him (he is blind) to their house and spent there for some time. Later went to the house of my cousin Murali. He recently completed his B.Sc. He likes to take some competitive exams. Spent there for two hours. Had my lunch and rested for some time. By 3:00 we started to our nearby mango garden. We spent there for two hours among green mango trees. Today my cousin Hari (the son of my maternal aunt Bhaskaram) came from Durgada. My cousin Murali, my uncle Varma, my cousin Hari and I went to our mango garden and spent there happily. Night listened to radio for some time. Went to sleep by 10:00.
5 May (Friday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day spent within Gollalagunta. Morning went to the house of aunt Subba Lakshmi. She received us (my uncle Varma and I) affectionately and offered us some homemade sweets. Afternoon rested for some time. By 2:00 my uncle Varma and I started to the old division of village Gollalagunta. We visited the houses of Venkayya (former village ration depot dealer), Varahala Babu (a Kshatriya fellow) and Bose (the father of a beautiful Kshatriya girl (presently studying in a school whom I saw from some distance sometime ago) whom I want to marry in future) on our way to our paddy field. We went to our paddy field finishing these short visits on the way soon. In our return journey from the field, we visited the newly constructed buildings of the Government High School (where I studied from my 3rd standard to 7th standard). I came across my friend Dwarampudi Venkata Krishna Reddy (my classmate in this school). My uncle and I spent listening to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder at the kirana shop of Venkayya for some time. Evening we went to our mango grove and enjoyed the cool atmosphere there for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00.
6 May (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:30. Got ready and started to Jaggampeta by 8:30 along with my cousin Murali on his bicycle. We went to the house of my teacher uncle Venkata Rama Raju (also called Chitti Babu) and spent there from 9:00 to 4:30. Raghupati and Kiran, the eldest and youngest sons of this uncle, are presently staying here enjoying their summer holidays. Raghupati achieved commendable success in his engineering (10+2+4) studies and Kiran is also doing well in his present Intermediate (10+2) studies. Naren (the younger son of this uncle) is also doing well in his studies. Today I borrowed 250 rupees from this uncle and sent the required demand draft to the University of Hyderabad, requesting them to send me an application form and prospectus for M.A. English Literature course. On my way back to Gollalagunta, met my school friend (at Gollalagunta) Dodda Srirama Kiran. He is presently running a small audio (cine songs) recording shop beside the main road in Jaggampeta. Returned home on Kinetic Luna (owned by my uncle Chitti Babu) along with my cousin Kiran. Went to sleep by 9:00.
7 May (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Morning went to the agricultural farm (belonging to this uncle, presently with a crop) along with my uncle Varma on bicycle. Helped him in his work for some time. We returned home by 11:00. Spent listening to radio for two hours. Rested for some time. By 2:00 it started raining and continued for two hours. By 3:30 my uncle Varma went to the kirana store of Soorayya on his bicycle and brought jaggery and groundnut kernels. We wanted to prepare (my cousin Anantha Lakshmi, wife of my uncle Varma, does it) sweets with them to enjoy the cool weather in a meaningful way. My cousin prepared these sweets very well. We enjoyed eating them. By 4:00 my cousin Kiran (the youngest son of my teacher uncle K V Rama Raju) and my cousin Murali (the eldest son of my uncle Narayana Murthy Raju in this village) came. Kiran and I discussed the structure of sentences in English till 7:30. Went to sleep by 9:00.
8 May (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. Went to meet my cousins Murali and Kiran (at the prior’s house) and spent talking with them for some time. Got ready and went to the bus stop (at the temple of Lord Rama, opposite the shop of Soorayya). Took an auto rickshaw and proceeded to Jaggampeta. My uncle Varma saw us off at the bus stop. My cousin Hari accompanied me throughout the journey. In Jaggampeta, we spent some time at the houses of my uncle K V Rama Raju and my relative Datla Gopi (the brother-in-law of my brother Srinivas). We had some tiffin at hotel in the bus complex. Took a bus for Samalkot and reached there by 2:00. We took Vijayawada-Visakhapatnam passenger train for Narsipatnam Road. Reached home by 4:30. I entered the hell. I think my parents are the real enemies to me. May God help me move out of this place soon. Went to sleep by 9:00.
9 May (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:00. All the day stayed at home and spent much of my time listening to radio and watching television. My thought follows, “Tradition has been the most detestable characteristic of the history of India. Indian tradition is biased and cruel. It is narrow-minded and artificial. Indian tradition supports the suppression of women (in a disguised manner). They are supposed to be the living human tools meant for the service of their arrogant and lazy men. Indians behave egoistically and dishonestly with their traditionally oriented wives. They treat their wives like symbols of obedience and ignorance. Hindu scriptures specify to respect women greatly but the reality is quite opposite in Indian society. They are helpless victims of domestic chores and societal norms. They must kill bad men (who perpetrate atrocities upon them in a family, society or an organization exploiting their gender sensitivity) if they want to live happily”. Went to sleep by 9:00.
10 May (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:00. All the day stayed at home and spent listening to songs on tape recorder and watching television. My thought follows, “It is believed that the cosmos is a creation of God. Everybody has a belief in a god or goddess. None of them sees God in person. Yet their belief in their respective deities is so strong that they resort to massacres to uphold the sanctity of their religion when it is under threat. Religion plays a dominant role in human life. But no religion can keep a man or woman absolutely pure and sacred. It is one’s individuality and character that mould one into a good or bad human being. Religion is a blind belief. Many saints search for God in darkness of their own until they find light in that direction”. Went to sleep by 9:00.
11 May (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:00. All the day stayed at home and spent most of my time watching television and listening to songs on tape recorder. My thought follows, “Youth is God’s gift for living creatures. Let it be a bird, an animal, a man or a woman, youth has its specialty in life. The body craves to taste something new. The mind flies in wild fantasies. Every thought and action represents speed, excitement and zeal. The world without youth looks like a graveyard of gloom and calm. The same world with active and crazy youth turns into a hell of chaos and unrest unless they are properly brought up by their parents and treated by their contemporary society. Once they go astray, it is difficult to bring them back into a good way of life. Youth should be enjoyed by everybody. It should not be ruined by one’s own, familial or societal negligence or negative forces”. Went to sleep by 9:00.
12 May (Friday)
Got up by 5:00. Spent three hours at home in the morning watching television and listening to songs on tape recorder. Today I received the acknowledgement card from the Parliament House in New Delhi, for the letter I sent to Maneka Gandhi, the Minister of State (in the Central Government) for Social Justice and Empowerment. I expressed my views about the Congress Party and her political and personal life in that letter. By 12:30 started to NRPM railway station on bicycle along with my cousin Vasu (the eldest son of my uncle Rama Raju). He wanted to buy some ready-made clothes from “Kumar Shirts” showroom in Elamanchili. Today my expected trains were running late. So, we waited for one of them for much time at the station. We carried out the supposed work in Elamanchili and soon returned home. Night watched television for some time. Went to sleep by 11:00.
13 May (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:00. All the day stayed at home and spent most of my time watching television and listening to songs on tape recorder. My thought follows, “The love of nature towards living beings seems to be of high quality. Its love is impartial and generous. It soothes the troubled hearts of dreamers and saints. The mesmeric perfume of flowers and the sweet sounds of springs in deep forests heal the miserable hearts of young lovers, innocent birds and wild animals. Nobody pays for its classic service to humankind. The beauty of nature does not diminish as long as there is somebody to enjoy it. God created nature for His innocent creatures (nonhuman living entities which live in nature) and highly honorable guests (the humans who greatly enjoy its bounty in all its facets) in the cosmos. He loves His huge creation more than a man loves his little world of living”. Went to sleep by 9:00.
14 May (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:00. Spent much of my time at home watching television and listening to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder. Afternoon watched the Hindi feature film “Afsana Pyar Ka” on Sony television channel. My thought follows, “Of late, human relationships changed a lot. Money oriented perspective developed in people. One is unable to decide whether to be modern or traditional. Very few are following their religion in true spirit. Children quarrel among themselves over the issue of distribution of parental property soon after they die. It is a dangerous trend of the society”. Went to sleep by 9:00.
15 May (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent most of my time at home watching television. Evening went to an audio recording center in Adduroad and selected some melodious old Telugu cine songs to be recorded into audiocassettes. Evening it was cool. My thought follows, “The visible supremo in the physical world is human being. There is no much difference or distance between man and God. God is invisible and immortal. He has a permanent and sacred place in the hearts of the humanity to live in. Man cannot live happily without praying God. Even science and civilization, related to human race, flourished being supported by man’s beliefs and practices in spiritualism. Thus man and God seem to be interdependent and inseparable from one another”. Went to sleep by 9:00.
16 May (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day stayed at home and spent most of my time watching television and listening to songs on tape recorder. Today it was cool. My thought follows, “Everybody is aware of the universal truth that one day or the other, it is inevitable to go away from this world of intimate relations and highly committed engagements. God cursed human beings injecting the poison of endless attachments and emotions into their body and mind. When a man or a woman dies, his or her dependents or close relatives undergo heavy pain. When their suffering is fresh, we see it in their tears and when it becomes old, it settles in their hearts, which others can’t see. Humanity is pursuing a pathetic journey with fresh pains of visibility and haunting memories of the past. Thus we find everybody as an odorless dead body of pains”. Went to sleep by 9:00.
17 May (Wednesday)
Got up by 5:30. Today it was very cool and cloudy throughout the day. It has been sultry for the last one week. This initial change in weather appeased the hearts of the people suffering from the hot sun. Thank you dear Lord Gopal. You have saved us with Your blessings. Afternoon went to the house of my uncle Rama Raju at Raja Venkata Nagaram and spent there for four hours. Returned home by 5:00. Night listened to songs on tape recorder for one hour. I like sweet voice and melodious music. Went to bed by 9:00.
18 May (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:30. Morning it was cool and cloudy. Started to our mango grove by 10:30 on bicycle. A deep well was recently dug in our cashew garden. My brother Sambha Murthy is supervising the ongoing work over there. By 11:00 the clouds have moved away from the sky. The radiant sun started shining like a challenging hero, not finding villains around him. The cunning winds of the atmosphere are transferring the burden of their heat onto the helpless bodies of workers making them tired soon. Afternoon had my lunch at the house of my uncle Narayana Murthy. Spent some time supervising the work of digging well. Today the buyer of this seasonal crop of our mango garden is collecting mangoes from the trees to sell them in the open market. By 5:00 tied a bag of mangoes at the back of my bicycle and started back to home. Went to sleep by 9:00.
19 May (Friday)
Woke up by 5:30. Today I expected the arrival of prospectus and application form from the University of Hyderabad (also known as Central University) in Hyderabad. Went to post office (in Peda Gummuluru) and collected the unregistered parcel, for which I have been waiting. Filled in the application form fast and equipped myself with the required papers. Got ready at once and started to Elamanchili by bus from Adduroad. Bought a demand draft for 125 rupees at Andhra Bank in Elamanchili. Met our acting principal of the degree college and our Hindi lecturer Hanumantha Rao for his cooperation in the attestation of my candidature as a prospective graduate. Afternoon posted my application for the entrance test into M.A. English Literature. Returned home by 3:00 by bus. Went to sleep by 9:00.
20 May (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent most of my time at home watching television and listening to cine songs on tape recorder. Today I wrote a piece of poetry (repeating the use of the word “Priya” in many sentences) in Telugu for sending it to the “Priya Cements Company Limited Contest”. Thereafter I wrote a long letter to the Registrar of Andhra University, asking him to take necessary corrective measures to strengthen and activate the process of re-evaluation of answer papers of students. Further, I wrote him to change the print style of the provisional certificates of B.A. course (the idiots write the marks of the students by hand in ink on a cheap recycled paper which I hate). The quality of the paper being used for the mark sheets and provisional certificates too should be improved. Went to sleep by 9:00.
21 May (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent most of the day at home. Afternoon watched the Telugu feature film “Swaathi Muthyam” of Kamal Haasan and Radhika on television. By 3:00 it turned cloudy. It rained soon. Power cut followed it. Returned home from the house of aunt Rangamma. Went to the weekly market in Adduroad by 3:30 on bicycle and bought vegetables. Today it was cool. God set it. He burns humans in the sunshine for some time and turns it refreshingly cool within seconds. Nature follows his suggestions and orders. Went to sleep by 9:00.
22 May (Monday)
Woke up by 5:00. All the day spent at home and did nothing in particular which needs to be specially mentioned about. My thought follows, “I don’t like the speeches and sermons of politicians and saints. They speak about the good things of society while among the public and do all the immoral and antisocial acts while spending their private lives. This is why India is decaying in the filth of underdevelopment and degradation despite its richness in natural and human resources. When professional liars rule a nation, only lies about the development of the society can be seen and heard by people. They speak a lot on stages about the emancipation of women from the fetters of the society and tradition but how many of these politicians are giving freedom to their daughters and spouses at their homes to live according to their preferences leaving tradition and welcoming modernity. Saints are getting huge places and maintaining millions of irrational followers. It shows one how much spiritual they are. A real seeker of God never likes to lead a showy and luxurious life among ‘the mad crowds of irrationality and stupidity’ called ‘devotees’”. Went to sleep by 9:00.
23 May (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:00. All the day stayed at home and did nothing in particular which is worthy of note. Today it was cool and refreshing. I want to go somewhere but my hosts are very few. I want to write a piece of poetry but my mind wishes to be away from that pursuit of divine and creative sensibility. I want to play but I have no money to buy a bat to play with and there is nobody to play with me. I want to eat a lot to keep myself healthy and strong because this is the right stage of my age to consume much and become rich in bodily strength but my health is not good and our family is not supportive in that direction. I like to have a beautiful girl to talk with me affectionately and sweetly but nobody is there to do it for me. Thus I seem to be a cursed fellow by destiny. I can’t avoid it. Went to sleep by 9:00.
24 May (Wednesday)
Got up by 5:00. All the day stayed at home and did nothing in particular which is worthy of mention. Today it was cool and cloudy. My thought follows, “Old age is inescapable curse to creatures that live longer. Their family considers them as unimportant. The society pays little attention to them. The nation has no time to think and act for their welfare because they are no more productive and useful. Their suggestions are considered as useless lessons by their children and grandchildren. The same is the case with birds and animals in their old age. They lead pathetic lives forgetting their environment slowly. They wait for death. It delays to come. One should not commit suicide to avoid old age. Life can’t be meaningful and complete unless every stage of its journey toward death is lived and experienced by humans”. Went to sleep by 9:00.
25 May (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day spent at home. My thought follows, “Wisdom is like a ray of light in the darkness of path of the life of a man or woman. Education helps women lead a secure life, if not a happy life in all the cases. Indian tradition and culture impose inevitable pressure on the lives of Indian women. A woman does not know how to live happily in such critical society unless she is equipped adequately with the awareness of the outer world around her. A woman should know how to live happily among men but should not distance herself from them. She should be progressive in thinking and cautious in action while among wise men and unkind women. Man never hesitates to exploit a woman when she looks vulnerable to him. So, she should either enslave him with her love for him or frighten him with her capabilities of considerable and practicable nature. The happiness of her life depends on how best she can use the men around her with her intelligence or other tactics of the ordinary nature known to and practiced by her race at that time. A woman can enjoy her life better as a dedicated sweetheart to one good person rather than a great person admired and followed by many people. She should prefer and keep up the privacy of her life while unmarried and the intimacy of her lover or husband after getting married to make her life fruitful and admirable”. Went to sleep by 9:00.
26 May (Friday)
Got up by 5:30. Morning my uncle Appala Raju (the husband of my paternal aunt Subhadra) and I started to Narsipatnam on important work. This trip was to know about the details of fees and other things with regard to the admission into seventh standard at “Prathibha Convent” near APSRTC Bus Complex. Both of us took a bus by 10:00 at Peda Gummuluru. Today is a lucky day for me. About after one and a half years, I could see my sweetheart Lakshmi in the same bus, in which we traveled today. She gained some weight. She is looking more beautiful now than in the past. She did not look at me in the journey (she sat in the front row of seats behind the driver’s and I some five rows of seats behind her). She just glanced at me while getting off the bus and pretended as if she never saw me in her life. Went to sleep by 9:00.
27 May (Saturday)
Got up by 5:00. By 9:30 took a bus for Narsipatnam along with my cousin Ravindra Varma, the only son of my paternal aunt Subhadra. His parents like to admit him into a private school. We reached “Prathibha Convent” by 10:30. A teacher conducted a small test to examine his level of knowledge. The competence of the boy was so weak that he could get only one mark for 25. The executive of the school put a sad face after understanding the academic abilities of our creature (which we all know well). He told me to admit him later (the supposed comedy is implied in the word “later” itself). We returned to our respective homes by 1:00. Evening watched television and listened to songs on tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00.
28 May (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent all my time casually. My thought follows, “Human life is a gift of God. If it lacks love for others, it turns unbearable and ugly. But, in orthodox and abnormal countries like India, practicing real love makes one’s life troublesome. Let one be deep in love with someone internally, yet one cannot express it to the other, being scared of rigid norms and practices of the tradition and culture around one. Expressing love to the beloved becomes a challenge to many in this unreliable and cruel environment. Hindu culture does not uphold the concept of love between a girl and a boy. It is really a curse to youth. Tradition is an unrelated subject and love is a personal affair. One should prefer the latter when dilemma prevails in this direction”. Went to sleep by 9:00.
29 May (Monday)
Got up by 5:00. Spent at home till 3:30. Then took an auto rickshaw and reached Narsipatnam Road railway station along with my cousin Narendra Varma. He has to take an entrance test at the S.F.S. School at Seethammadhara in Visakhapatnam tomorrow morning. We took Simhadri Express by 4:30. I did not buy tickets thinking that nobody checks us during or after the train travel but a ticket checking squad caught us at Anakapalle station. He took all the money (190 rupees) from me. At last he gave 40 rupees back for our expenses in the city and left us. We went to the abode of M Subba Raju (relative of my uncle Rama Raju). Went to sleep by 9:00.
30 May (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and took Narendra Varma to S.F.S. School. He took the entrance test into 8th standard in A P R schools. The test took place between 9:00 and 12:00. He said that he did it well. Krishnam Raju, the son of Subba Raju, helped us in this journey to and from the school. They treated us well during our short stay in their house. We thanked them and took leave of them by 2:00. We reached railway station by 3:30. Waited for our expected train to start for two and a half hours. Took Visakhapatnam-Kakinada passenger and reached home by 8:30. Daraboina Ramu, my friend from Kothuru, whose marriage I recently attended, gave me six rupees for our auto rickshaw charges from the station to our house. Went to sleep by 9:00.
31 May (Wednesday)
Got up by 5:00. Spent most of my time at home watching television and listening to cine songs on tape recorder. Afternoon went to Kothuru on a work and returned home by 4:00. P Ramu Naidu, my friend, who is presently studying at Silver Jubilee Government Degree College in Kurnool, came today by bus from Visakhapatnam. He is a good boy and an intelligent student. Now he is spending his summer vacation in his village Jaggaraju Peta, Ramatirdham mandal, Vizianagaram district. He likes ideal values of life and follows a disciplined lifestyle. He thinks that one should develop multidimensionally. Afternoon it rained a bit. May God bless me. Went to sleep by 9:30.
1 June (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:00. Today my friend Ramu Naidu and I decided to go to our mango grove at the hills to spend there in the serene atmosphere for some time. We took bicycles and reached there by 11:30. My uncle Narayana Murthy treated us well. He offered some sweet mango fruit to us. We had a few more fruit in the garden. We returned home by 5:50. My friend enters his final year B.Sc. this academic year. He has goals to achieve. He has the required intelligence and hard-working nature to reach them. However, he is from a village background and a poor and illiterate family. His parents and villagers do not encourage him in his studies. He has to face his challenging life on his own, without slipping into the ditch of depression and disheartenment. It rained a bit at night. Went to sleep by 9:30.
2 June (Friday)
Got up by 5:30. My friend Ramu Naidu and I went to NRPM railway station by 12:00. Waited for our expected train for one hour. Alleppey-Bokaro Express arrived by 1:00. I saw him off and returned home. He was going to Vijaya Nagaram. This morning I saw an ad in the Telugu daily Eenadu inviting candidates to interviews for various job vacancies in Bahrain and Maldives. It attracted me. Presently I am suffering without money. I have been living in the hell of poverty for the last seven years due to the niggardly behavior of my father toward me. May Lord Gopal bless and direct me. Went to sleep by 9:00.
11 June (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent much of my time at home watching television. Afternoon my friend Ashok came from Elamanchili. Spent talking with him for two hours. Today it was lovely. I desire to enjoy the fragrance of flowers and the flavor of words of a beautiful girl in such environment. My real life is not much interesting. I can’t help it. I am doing well in my studies by the blessings of Lord Krishna. My economic situation is bad. My parents do not understand this. It has been so for long. I should leave my home soon to get rid of this situation. I believe in God. Let Him guide me. Went to sleep by 10:00.
12 June (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day stayed at home and spent my time watching television and listening to cine songs on tape recorder. My thought follows, “I pity an Indian traditional woman with penury and ignorance as her assets. Hindu scriptures define a husband as one that bears (looks after her carefully) the burden of his wife till the end of her life. How many husbands are doing this duty toward their wives in an honest and dedicated manner? Chastity and virginity are considered the essential qualities of an Indian girl to be married to a boy (his fitness in this regard is never defined). All her services to her family are recognized as her compulsory familial responsibilities about which she should not talk specially presenting herself as a great human being to others. We can’t find any man doing such great service for the sake of his family. Thus we find a poor and ignorant Indian woman as a helpless person representing the human qualities of slavery, patience and sacrifice”. Went to sleep by 9:30.
13 June (Tuesday)
Got up by 5:00. All the day spent at home watching television. Morning went to Adduroad and got my bicycle repaired spending 110 rupees. My economic situation is declining day by day. I have ambition to become an extraordinary personality with great effort in any virtuous pursuit of human life but my economic situation and family conditions are playing the roles of negative characters in dismantling my budding dreams in the beginning itself. I have plans to direct my life towards excellence. I like to put it into practice as early as possible. May God help me always. Went to sleep by 9:00.
14 June (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:00. Today I received the hall ticket from the University of Hyderabad for my entrance test into M.A. English Literature. Today our home atmosphere was completely filled with chaos and unrest. Yesterday morning our cattle keeper returned home without our two buffalos with him. They went away escaping from his guard. They cost 15,000 rupees in the market. My parents and brother Sambha care for money only. They don’t behave properly if they lose something related to money. This morning, my father, a living brute, severely beat the cattle keeper (he put his foot on his throat in his rage to punish him adequately crushing him to death on the floor. When I interfered in the event being unable to control myself any more observing the developments before my eyes, he told me to keep away. He said that I have no authority to interfere in the important issues of our family), a small boy. Today we spent searching for those buffaloes. Went to sleep by 9:00.
15 June (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:00. Our pet dog tore off some pages in this diary on the 16th of this month. It is an unbearable event in my life. I cursed my destiny. I blame Lord Krishna for being indifferent in taking care of my diary, a vital part of my life. The lost/detached pages in this diary are as mentioned here: From 3rd June to 10th June and all the pages from the 16th of November. I want to die for having lost these pages. It is a great loss in my life. I feel as if I am burning in the winds of fire of misfortune and sin. Every page in my diary is very important for me because I can’t create its content once lost. We can’t give life to originality of truth once it is detached from its roots. Our pet dog bit this diary. I wanted to cut it into pieces for the damage it inflicted on my recorded life but for humanity and reality. Its death can’t bring back the damaged pages in my diary. I am going to bed at night begging God to kill me in my sleep itself (our dog has the habit of sleeping in our house like a family member. It rests under cot or some other corner of the room and so one can’t easily find out whether it is inside or outside. My mother locked the door keeping it inside that day. It would have got up later and found itself imprisoned (for a few hours). It turned mad and started biting everything in its reach. The photos of Hindu gods and goddesses are also there in that room. Perhaps they would have got up from their sleep after some time when our dog started its mad act before them. They saved my diary late).
16 June (Friday)
I deeply regret the loss of these pages in my diary. Even my Lord Gopal badly failed in protecting my diary from this danger. The distress and depression I am undergoing presently is a result of His carelessness toward me. I like to dedicate my pain to Him filling some space in this diary with His name: Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal.
17 June (Saturday)
Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal.
18 June (Sunday)
Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal Gopal.
19 June (Monday)
Got up by 5:00. Spent most of my time at home scanning a book on English grammar in view of the entrance examination into M.A. English Literature. However, my preparation is not satisfactory to take this national level entrance test to enter the University of Hyderabad. It is a famous university in India. I think the entrance test would be very tough to filter waste stuff just like that with a single blow itself. May God do as He wishes. Now I am eating many mango fruit at home. I am a bit good at English by the grace of Mother Saraswati. May Her blessings direct me. May the blessings of all our teachers and lecturers be with me. Went to sleep by 9:00.
20 June (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:00. Spent at home till 3:00. Took my bicycle and reached NRPM railway station by 3:30. Took Vijayawada-Visakhapatnam passenger and reached Elamanchili by 5:30, the place where I studied for five years. Resumed my journey and reached Visakhapatnam by 7:48. Hired an auto rickshaw and reached Vignan Vidyalayam at Siripuram where my friend P V S R Krishna Varma is working as a School Van Assistant. He treated me very well. He showed me a room in the school premises. I kept my little luggage there. Night traveled through the city for some time in the school van along with the students being reached to their houses after their classes in the evening. We had supper at the mess in this school by 9:30. Slithered into sleep around 10:00 in a classroom keeping benches together to make up a bed.
21 June (Wednesday)
Got up by 4:30. Freshened up myself soon and prepared English grammar for two hours. Had my breakfast near Andhra University and proceeded to Dr. Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan College of Arts. Entered the examination room by 9:40. Did the “Nationwide Entrance Examination for Admission into M.A. English at the University of Hyderabad” from 10:00 to 12:00. The question paper scared me when I scanned its content for once but I alerted myself and instructed my mind to deliver whatever it knew. I did not do it satisfactorily. Applied my creativity and faced it somehow. The question paper carries 25 marks for Objective Language Test, 40 marks for a General Essay and 35 marks for Poetry Comprehension. Took leave of my friend Krishna Varma and reached home by 8:00 by Visakhapatnam-Kakinada passenger train. Went to sleep by 9:30.
22 June (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:00. Spent most of my daytime at home. Evening went to the house of my uncle Rama Raju at Raja Venkata Nagaram. Presently I am eating many mango fruit at home. My thought follows, “Constitutional principles can tell a citizen to behave in a socially desirable and appreciable manner. There are volumes of rules and regulations throughout the world which aim at the prevention of evil practices in society. All those measures being implemented or imposed by the external agents won’t be successful unless the individuals realize that this world is not theirs. They are temporary guests in it. So, they must behave politely and graciously in it. Something must be done in this direction to correct and reorient their attitudes from the roots”. Went to sleep by 9:00.
23 June (Friday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent all my time at home watching television and listening to radio. My thought follows, “Education is very important in the modern days, not to improve oneself in life, but to escape from the dangers and threats of the dishonest and shrewd ones around one. Unless we know about thieves and robbers, we don’t keep our assets carefully. Unless we are aware of the destruction created out of wars among nations, we don’t keep ourselves away from enmity towards others. Books present us the lifestyles and life values of good and bad people equally. We can decide our destruction or progress based on our action plans developed from the theories we choose from the literature available to us. Education is meant for a man’s journey from lies to truths and from suffering to happiness”. Went to sleep by 9:00.
24 June (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:00. All the day stayed at home and spent listening to songs on tape recorder and watching television. My thought follows, “These days human values are confined to books and speeches. Much of the money being released by the government for the betterment of the poor is being shared happily among the mediators and contractors. There are many underdogs in our society searching for food in dustbins fighting with dogs and sleeping in streets covering their ugly bodies with rags. The privileged in the society, indulging in corrupt practices in their professional and personal lives, had better learn something from these cursed people in the world. It is one’s load of sin that drags one into such pains and strains of a penniless life. Corruption is also a sin. The ones that are happily practicing it today should be ready to face a tomorrow of such rotten and cursed life”. Went to bed by 9:00.
25 June (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:00. From 8:30 to 12:30 spent listening to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder. Went to Adduroad by 4:30 on bicycle and bought vegetables in the weekly market. Today my aunt Lakshmi came from Mallavaram. She treats me affectionately whenever I go there. Now youth are spending most of their time reading books to take competitive examinations and get jobs. I don’t like these competitive exams because they keep me disturbed and tense always. I can’t endure such books for much time. I am not good at general knowledge of the world. I like to be so. Went to sleep by 9:30.
26 June (Monday)
Woke up by 5:00. All the day stayed at home listening to radio and watching television. For the last 60 days, my only task has been searching for a good job for me to live on my own. I applied for four or five jobs in response to ads in dailies. I behaved like a helpless and scared rat, running away from the hungry and cruel cat of unemployment, left free from the hands of my father, representing orthodox society. I am disgusted with this pursuit of applying for jobs. I am supposed to become a great man soon utilizing my caliber. My life should be guided towards excellence and brilliance. My destiny and God have to help me in this regard. Our thoughts cannot achieve much unless our fate favors. Fate is something, which we can’t understand, define, predict and avoid despite our best efforts.
27 June (Tuesday)
Got up by 5:00. Started to Elamanchili by 11:30 by bus from Adduroad. Met our lecturers in the degree college to ask for their advice on my joining a private job in New Delhi. They cautioned me against my attempts for temporary and unreliable jobs. They advised me to go for studies at the University of Hyderabad, if I get a place in it. Otherwise I should take the examinations of the Union Public Service Commission or learn a useful computer course. I felt happy at their judicious pieces of advice during my present stage of confusion and frustration. Thank you dear God for saving me from a wrong orientation of life. I don’t know the routes of life well. Guide me properly. It rained when I was coming back to home by bus due to depression over the Bay of Bengal. Went to bed by 9:00.
28 June (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:00. Today the results of final year B.A. were given in newspapers. I felt blissful finding my number in the Telugu daily Eenadu. I got first class in B.A. I am grateful to Mother Saraswati and Lord Gopal for blessing me with this considerable success in the examinations. Now I am delighted and self-confident to face the world as a graduate. Some unknown force of fortitude and dynamism entered my body and spirit. It is a great result for my hard work. I am a fresh graduate at the dawn of 21st century to evolve as a challenger. I am absolutely sure of achieving something remarkable. Now I got a good opportunity to prove myself. Went to sleep by 9:30.
29 June (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:00. Today my aunt Lakshmi, the mother of my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani, left for Mallavaram. By 11:00 took her to Adduroad. We waited for our expected bus for three hours. At last it arrived by 2:00. She took Rajahmundry bound luxury express bus. I returned home. My friends asked me to give them a party celebrating my success of first class in B.A. Actually I am very happy enjoying my success. I like to give party to my friends but my present financial condition is keeping me away from such thoughts. I am unhappy about it. Yet I like to give them party very soon in a very simple way. Went to sleep by 9:00.
30 June (Friday)
Woke up by 5:00. All the day spent at home. Morning watched the Telugu program of birthday wishes “Mano Ranjani” on Eenadu television channel. From 9:30 to 12:00 listened to my favorite Telugu cine songs on tape recorder. Afternoon watched part of the Telugu feature film “Bhaktha Prahlaadha” on television. Today it was cool and cloudy. Recently I spent much time listening to my favorite Telugu cine songs on tape recorder. I find much delight in listening to music. It is the best healer of the pains and tensions of my heart and mind. It energizes my mind taking me into an ideal and heavenly world. Music heals psychic patients like me. Went to sleep by 9:00.
1 July (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:00. Took Tirumala Express by 9:30 from Narsipatnam Road to Elamanchili. Went to our degree college to meet the lecturers. I could meet only Sudha Rani, the physics lecturer. Talked with her for some time. She is a perfect Hindu woman. Took leave of her and came back to railway station. My expected train had already left the station. Kept on waiting at a nearby familiar shop. Meanwhile Sudha Rani came to station to leave for her hometown Ongole. Returned home by 2:00. Watched the Telugu feature film “Yama Paasham” on Eenadu television channel. Night watched the Telugu feature film “Gitanjali” on television. Went to sleep by 9:30.
2 July (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent all my time at home. I wanted to celebrate the success of my first class in B.A. Last evening I bought a pack of Maha Lacto chocolates for 43 rupees. This morning my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani prepared a cake for me for this occasion. I distributed them to (two packs to each, each pack containing chocolates and a piece of cake) thirteen of our neighbors. The word “party” may not suit it. I regretted celebrating it that simply. These moments are invaluable. They don’t wait until I become rich. So, somehow I celebrated it for the sake of it. God blessed me with this happiness of success. I am grateful to Him. My salutes to Mother Saraswati. My salutes to my teachers. Went to sleep by 10:30.
3 July (Monday)
Got up by 5:00. All the day spent at home very casually. My brother Srinivas came in the late hours last night from Jammu and Kashmir. A brief note on my personal life follows, “For the last five years, I have been leading a tantalizing stage of my life. My heart craves for a sweet conversation with a beautiful girl. I am a victim in losing my innocent and carefree youth without the soft touch of pure love or companionship of a beautiful girl. I regret the disappearance of my dreamy age from me that fast. Every boy needs the love and affection of a girl in this fantastic and shadowy stage of life. I could not make my teenage (age of craze for the attractions of the human world) blissful in the company of any girl. We can desire the friendship of a beautiful girl, but we should not try to achieve it mechanically from the beginning. We should wait and see for a considerable amount of time for positive signs from the other side. Otherwise we should take the initiative. It is a great asset of one’s life. One should achieve it if possible. I am sure of finding somebody soon to fill this void in my lovesick life”. Went to sleep by 9:00.
4 July (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day spent at home casually. A brief note on my personal life follows, “Youth is significant and dangerous stage of lives of earthly beings. Human beings must face this ordeal of life very carefully. Internal forces in every creature torture it continuously dragging it toward the thoughts and acts of immorality and sin. It is impossible to satisfy them for ordinary human beings walking in the path of virtue and idealism. Infatuation (the word used for ‘attraction among humans’) is such desirable and influential force in youth. Resisting it requires a lot of spiritual power in one. Human life, before and after youth, has no much worth in it for the individual. Now I am carrying the burden of that stage of human life. I need a beautiful girl as my friend. I wait for her”. Went to sleep by 9:30.
5 July (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:00. Spent much of my time at home. Spent some time talking with my college friends at the hotel of our common friend Appala Raju in Adduroad. We discussed various things related to the present situation of the educated and unemployed youth. Today a serious conversation took place between my brother Srinivas and me. He told me that he leads his life comfortably spending the wealth earned by their beloved father. I heroically told him that I would travel by aeroplane when he can afford to travel by car. I already decided to leave this home very soon. Otherwise my haughty father considers me as a helpless parasite. Today I felt depressed. Went to sleep by 9:30.
6 July (Thursday)
Got up by 5:00. Morning spent at home. Left for Elamanchili by 10:00 by bus from Adduroad. Today I applied for the position of “Executive Trainee” at a private agency in Chennai. I saw that advertisement in the English daily The Hindu. That work was over by 2:00. Then went to our degree college. Knew that our mark lists are not yet received by the college from the Andhra University. Took a bus and returned home by 3:00. Went to the hotel of my friend Appala Raju in Adduroad. We discussed the socioeconomic conditions of the people in the present society. These days I am feeling very uneasy to spend at home. So, I am going out to spend talking with my friends. It is healing me a lot. Went to sleep by 8:00.
7 July (Friday)
Woke up by 5:00. All the day spent at home. My thought follows, “Poverty is a vicious trap. The poor remain victims to it throughout their lives. The poorest spend much of their lifetime toiling for food and shelter. The wealth of the world is dependent on their toil but the rich rarely appreciate their invaluable services to the society. The rich exploit the poor for their comforts and luxuries. The lives of the poor are attractive raw material for dreamers to write poems and novels but the real picture in slums and industrial areas always remains pathetic. Poverty is a permanent disorder of the human civilization and culture”. Went to bed by 9:00.
8 July (Saturday)
Got up by 5:00. Morning went to Elamanchili by bus to collect the videocassettes of the marriage occasion of my brother Sambha but they were not available. Went to the house of my B.A. classmate Prasad. Today it is the second Saturday of the month and so our degree college remained closed. Went to cinema Venkateshwara and saw an English film. Returned home by 2:00. Watched television for some time. Night wrote a letter addressing the branch manager of a bank in Elamanchili requesting him to see if there is possibility for making me an educational loan. I felt very happy for writing a good letter. Night my uncle Rama Raju spent with us. Went to bed by 9:30.
9 July (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent most of my time at home watching television. My thought follows, “It is believed that human life is a great opportunity to one to salvage oneself from the web of the wheel of the recurrence of births and deaths. They say it is very valuable in many respects when compared to other creatures in this cosmos. But I don’t find human life to be that great. Man has to face many difficulties and pains throughout his life. He makes a woman his wife and tortures her till her death treating her like his servant. He imprisons her behind the walls of tradition. He cuts trees and kills animals for his livelihood or pleasure. Day and night he spends a dependent life. He worships God while in troubles and forgets others when happy. He exploits every available creature to him in the world. Man can’t be considered so unless he is humanitarian and rational in every act he does in his life. How many men in this world are like this? The more he loves all the living beings in this world, the more his happiness would be”. Went to sleep by 9:30.
10 July (Monday)
Woke up by 5:00. Reached Elamanchili by 7:30 by Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger train along with my friend Ganga Raju. Spent some time at public library. Then went to our degree college and enquired about the availability of our B.A. certificates. The clerk told me that the certificates were not yet received from the Andhra University. We returned home by train. Soon after reaching home, I felt very happy to find a letter intimating me to join the M.A. English course at the University of Hyderabad. My brother Srinivas and I rushed to Jaggampeta. Met my teacher uncle K V Rama Raju and requested him to accompany me for my admission in the university. He said that he can’t come. We went to Molleru Mallavaram and stayed there for the night. Went to sleep by 10:00.
11 July (Tuesday)
Got up by 5:30. Today it rained due to depression over the Bay of Bengal. My brother Srinivas and I reached Jaggampeta by 1:00. I got a second-class berth reserved for my journey to Hyderabad by Godavari Express on the 13th of this month for my admission into the university on the following day. I am very grateful to Mother Saraswati and Lord Gopal for blessing me with a place in this famous university. My prayers to Lord Ganapathi for directing me toward a glorious path of educational life. My brother Srinivas assured me that he would provide me with the financial assistance needed for my M.A. course in this university. Guide me my Lord Gopal. Went to sleep by 9:00.
12 July (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:00. Today my brother Srinivas, sister-in-law Sandhya Rani and my nephew Sujan left for Molleru Mallavaram. They spend there for a few days. I left for Elamanchili by 9:00. From 10:30 to 6:30 I was engaged in obtaining my B.A. Provisional Certificate, Marks List of Third Year B.A., Transfer Certificate and Study cum Conduct Certificate from Sri Gurajada Apparao Government Degree College. Hanumantha Rao, our Hindi lecturer and the present acting principal of this college, and the clerical staff helped me greatly issuing my certificates on priority basis in view of my journey to Hyderabad tomorrow for my admission into the University of Hyderabad for which my B.A. certificates are needed. Returned home by 7:30 by bus. Night did a little written work. Went to sleep by 9:30.
13 July (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day stayed at home. From 9:30 to 12:00 spent listening to my favorite Telugu cine songs on tape recorder. I was very happy to think of my journey to Hyderabad this evening. Started getting ready from 4:00 for my journey to Hyderabad. My brother Sambha took me to Narsipatnam Road railway station by 5:30 on scooter. Even my uncle Narayana Murthy came to the station to see me off. I got into second-class reservation compartment No. S 5, in Godavari Express, and took Berth No. 49. My uncle and brother wished me a happy journey. The train left the station by 6:30. Actually my reservation of the berth starts from Samalkot Junction. The train was running fast toward its destination. Went to sleep by 10:30.
14 July (Friday)
Detrained from Godavari Express at Nampally (Hyderabad) railway station by 6:30. Moved out from the station and waited for a bus to Mehdipatnam (the route map to reach the university was sent by them by post along with the invitation letter to join the M.A. English course). Thence took another bus and reached Professor Gurbaksh Singh Hall in the University of Hyderabad by 9:00. The admission program was started by 10:30. They collected all my original certificates of B.A. I paid 2400 rupees toward admission and hostel accommodation fees. I met the teaching staff at the Department of English. I was informed about the confirmation of reservation of the hostel facility for me at the Administration Block by 4:00. Reached Secunderabad railway station by 6:15 and knew that Godavari Express had already left. Bought an express ticket to Samalkot Junction from Secunderabad. Took Secunderabad-Tirupati Express by 7:15 for Vijayawada.
15 July (Saturday)
Got off Secunderabad-Tirupati Express at Vijayawada Junction by 12:30 (night). Took Gauthami Express (running between Secunderabad and Kakinada) by 1:00. Reached Samalkot Junction by 7:30 in the morning. Had my breakfast at a hotel. Thence took a bus for Tuni. From there took another bus for Adduroad. Reached home by 11:00. Freshened up myself and had my lunch. I felt sleepy because I spent a sleepless night. I became weak due to these restless journeys. Rested for two hours. Left for Elamanchili by 2:30 by bus. There I bought bed sheets, cloth pieces for shirts and trousers, towels, shaving kit and pillow cases, which totally cost me 1400 rupees. Reached home by 6:00 by bus. Went to sleep by 9:30.
16 July (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent most of my time at home listening to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder and watching television. Many are appreciating my achievement of a place in the University of Hyderabad. I attribute this greatness to my Lord Gopal and Mother Saraswati. I dedicated my life to them. My salutes to all gods and goddesses. Let them guide me in the path of truth and success. My duty is to go ahead in my life in the kind direction of God. May Goddess Saraswati bless me with enlightenment. Went to sleep by 9:30.
17 July (Monday)
Woke up by 5:00. Listened to melodious Telugu cine songs on tape recorder from 7:30 to 9:00. Had my breakfast and went to Adduroad. Took a bus for Elamanchili by 10:00. Went to our degree college and met my friends. Later I met our English Lecturer Jaya Parvathy. She advised me a lot for more than one hour on how to behave in the university campus. She told me that I got a good opportunity to improve myself utilizing the facilities in the university to the best extent. I remain grateful to her for her affection for me. Later I met the Zoology Lecturer S V S S R Sastry and the Physics Lecturer G L Sudha Rani. They congratulated me on my achievement of getting a place in the University of Hyderabad. Returned home by bus. Went to sleep by 9:30.
18 July (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:00. Started to NRPM railway station by 6:30 on bicycle. Took Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger and reached Visakhapatnam by 9:30. Hired an auto rickshaw at the station and proceeded to the Non-technical District Employment Exchange. There I attended the work of getting my employment card renewed and getting a small change incorporated into my postal address on it (we moved from village Ramayyapatnam to village Peda Gummuluru). I spent there for one hour attending this work. Thereafter I walked along the beach road for two hours in the company of two friends from Narsipatnam (they too came to the employment exchange on the same work). Went to Jagadamba Junction by 1:30. Saw the Telugu film “Samudhrapu Dhongalu” (the dubbed version of the English film “Deep Rising”) in cinema Geeth from 2:45 to 4:45. Came back to railway station on foot and took Visakhapatnam-Rajahmundry passenger. Went to sleep by 9:30.
19 July (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Watched television for some time. Got ready and went to Adduroad by 10:00. Took Visakhapatnam-Rajahmundry express bus for Jaggampeta. Got off it at Jaggampeta bus station. Went out and bought two dozen bananas. Came back to bus station and took the bus for Gollalagunta by 1:00. Reached the house of my maternal grandparents by 2:00. Gifted one dozen bananas to my grandfather who has been ill for long. He is suffering from TB, fuelled by lack of nutritious food at home. Night met Saint Appanna Swamy (my spiritual guide) who has been ill for the last one month. Gifted him a dozen bananas. Night spent talking with my cousin Murali for some time. Went to sleep by 9:30.
20 July (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:00. Talked with my maternal grandfather Kolukuluri Subba Raju about his health for some time. My maternal grandmother Buchchiyyamma is also not well. She was attacked by a serious mental disorder some months ago. She was treated at the Government General Hospital in Kakinada for more than a month. Still she is suffering from a disorder in her brain. Left for Jaggampeta by 1:00 by bus. Reached Molleru Mallavaram by 2:30 by a bus from Jaggampeta. My sister-in-law Sandhya Rani, her sister Sowjanya and other family members welcomed me affectionately. My brother Srinivas is presently spending here at the house of his in-laws. By night my brother Sambha and my sister-in-law Kranti arrived. Went to sleep by 9:30.
21 July (Friday)
Got up by 5:00. This morning my brother Srinivas left for his military duty at Baramulla in Jammu and Kashmir. First he goes to New Delhi by Link Express from Samalkot Junction. Thence it takes much time for him to reach his unit because it is a terrorist area. My brother Sambha and my sister-in-law Kranti left for our home by 10:00. I stayed back. My beloved aunt Lakshmi, mother of my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani, prepares delicious food items for me as long as I stay there. She is an expert in cooking. My sister-in-law Sowjanya is an affectionate and cute girl. Her behavior and attitude are enjoyable. Went to sleep by 9:00.
22 July (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:00. Today I spent a delightful day here (in Mallavaram). Today we enjoyed playing the game “Astaa Chemma”. The four participants in this small indoor game included sisters-in-law Sandhya Rani and Sowjanya, aunt Kumari and I. The bet for each game is one rupee. I lost seven rupees today. We played this game from 12:00 to 4:00. My nephews Sujan and Suhas are not well. They are suffering from minor health disorders. Sujan refuses to take bitter tablets. Suhas is an ‘unbearably adamant’ kid. All the relatives here behave affectionately toward me. Went to sleep by 9:00.
23 July (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Had my breakfast and took a bus for Jaggampeta from Mallavaram by 7:30. Thence took a bus by 9:00 for Gollalagunta. Today my cousin Anantha Lakshmi left for the house of her parents in Ramula Devapuram. Had a bit of rice and started back to Jaggampeta by 10:30 by bus. Thence took an express bus for Adduroad. Reached home by 2:00. Felt tired due to the journey. Much work is pending to be attended by me. Soon I have to go to the University of Hyderabad. I have to do a bit of shopping for it. Evening watched television for some time. My salutes to Lord Gopal and Mother Saraswati. Went to sleep by 9:30.
24 July (Monday)
Woke up by 5:00. Got ready soon and reached NRPM railway station by 7:00. Took Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger and reached Visakhapatnam by 9:30. Today I bought many things necessary for my stay in the hostel at University of Hyderabad. Some of them are ready-made clothes, a suitcase, files and flip-flops for which I spent 1800 rupees. Came back to railway station by 1:00. Had some tiffin at a stall in the station. Booked a second-class berth for my journey from Narsipatnam Road to Hyderabad. Took Tirumala Express and reached home by 4:00. Evening collected my passport size color photos from Gopala Krishna Photo Studio in Adduroad. Night went to the house of my uncle Rama Raju at Raja Venkata Nagaram. Went to sleep by 10:00.
25 July (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:00. All the day stayed at home doing written work. Today I collected some nouns from an English dictionary into a notebook for improving my vocabulary. My thought follows, “Philanthropy is a great characteristic of human race. Most of the reformist movements in the world were led by idealists and visionaries. Great scientific inventions and discoveries took place in the world because some noble persons wanted to contribute their best to their fellow human beings in a dedicated and selfless manner. Human genius is the vital contributing factor to the material advancement of any nation. When that power is applied in wrong ways, the world faces tragedies like the two world wars. Every man and woman should be kind to other creatures to make this world enjoyable for all”. Went to sleep by 9:30.
26 July (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:00. All the day stayed at home and collected meanings for some difficult words in English for improving my vocabulary. Vocabulary means the number of words in a language and their right usage a person knows. As I have been a Telugu medium student, I could not concentrate adequately on English grammar. Now I got a good opportunity to go into the world of English language deeply. I have to change my lifestyle also. I am very happy that I got a chance to pursue M.A. English Literature. The University of Hyderabad is known for its quality education in India. It has been producing scholars for some years. May Mother Saraswati bless and guide me. Went to sleep by 9:00.
27 July (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:00. All the day stayed at home and did the work of collecting nouns and their meanings from an English dictionary. My thought follows, “India is known for its ideal family relationships and values. One’s family plays a great role in moulding one’s character. Character is a blend of thoughts and actions possessed and practiced by an individual in a civilized society. A child should enjoy the bliss of affection and care from his parents and relatives. Such healthy environment helps one grow into a fruitful citizen of a nation. Parental care is a great art. One should not hesitate to learn it from other sources if thought necessary by one. But the recent technological and scientific advancement of the world made parent-child relationships mechanical and artificial. It can be found in India also. Material wealth can’t keep one happy when one fails in enjoying family and social relationships. So, the cultural growth of a society is more important than its material development. A poor and ignorant man can live happily in a mountain believing in and being friendly with animals and birds there but a rich and intelligent man can’t live happily in his house or society suspecting everybody around him”. Went to sleep by 9:00.
28 July (Friday)
Got up by 5:00. Most of the day stayed at home. Morning collected nouns and their meanings from an English dictionary for three hours. Listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. Spent half an hour dusting our tape recorder with a brush. After that put my records of life in two cardboard boxes and kept them in one corner of our house. Evening went to Adduroad and gave two textbooks to my friend Appala Raju. He is a man of decent behavior and appreciable qualities. I think he uses these books in a constructive way. Night went to the house of the parents of my sister-in-law Kranti in village Tangedu. They treated me like an honorable guest. I enjoyed their affection. Night spent there happily. Went to sleep by 10:00.
29 July (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:00. Returned home by 8:00 by bus. Collected nouns and their meanings from an English dictionary for some time. Spent rest of the day at home watching television. Afternoon watched the Telugu feature film “Paarvathee Parameswarlu” on Eenadu television channel. I found this film very interesting from the start to the end. It portrays the beauty of an affectionate and possessive conjugal life between a wife and a husband. Lord Parameswara gave half of his body to His wife Parvati. So, He is called “Ardha Naareeswara” (half of His body having his male body and the remaining half of his body having the body of His wife). Wife and husband should shun their egos and live for each another with love, attachment and empathy. Otherwise family system badly fails. It affects the development of a society. This film deeply impressed me. Went to sleep by 9:00.
30 July (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:00. Evening I leave for Hyderabad. I already got ready with my luggage. Morning spent listening to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder. Afternoon watched the Telugu feature film “Rajendhrudu Gajendhrudu” on Eenadu television channel. Rajendra Prasad and Soundarya played the main roles. Freshened up myself by 5:00. My sister-in-law Sandhya Rani prepared some delicious eatables for me to eat in the train. By 5:30 the auto rickshaw was brought to our house (we booked it) from Adduroad. My brother Sambha, my friends Appa Rao (our associate in our mango garden works) and Appala Raju accompanied me to the railway station in the auto rickshaw. Took Godavari Express by 6:30 at Narsipatnam Road. They bade me farewell. Went to sleep by 9:00 on my berth in the train.
31 July (Monday)
Woke up in Godavari Express (coach No. S4, Berth No. 67) around 4:00 in the morning. Freshened up myself and kept on waiting for my destination. Reached Secunderabad railway station by 6:30. Came out with my heavy luggage and took a city bus up to Serilingampally. There hired an auto rickshaw for 25 rupees to the University of Hyderabad. Reached Men’s Hostel “A” by 8:00. Spent in the room of a student (from Visakhapatnam) until the clerical staff of the hostel arrived. By 10:30 they allotted me Room No. 106 in Men’s Hostel “A”. Had my lunch at Research Scholars Hostel. Evening walked here and there in the campus for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00 in my hostel room.
1 August (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:00. Today I spent much of my time strolling in the campus. Morning went to library and took an application form to fill in and return for issuance of my Library Card. Evening went to Serilingampally by city bus. Bought a mattress and a pillow for 260 rupees. Also bought one black belted wristwatch, Ricoh Trendy, for 140 rupees. From today onwards I would use wristwatch regularly in my life. Earlier I had no interest to wear a wristwatch. I disliked keeping it on my hand. But here, in University of Hyderabad, time matters a lot. So, I need a wristwatch. Returned to hostel by 6:00. Had my supper at Research Scholars Hostel. Went to sleep by 9:00.
2 August (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Had my breakfast at a hotel in the Shopping Complex. Went to post office and posted letters. Proceeded to State Bank of India, University of Hyderabad Branch, and filled in the application form for opening a savings bank account in it. Then went to another counter and deposited my one-year budget money, given by my brother Srinivas. The total amount of money I borrowed from my brother is 25,000 rupees. Out of it, 8,000 rupees were already spent. Presently I have 15,000 rupees. It is to spend in the academic year 2000-2001. Afternoon submitted my filled in and countersigned application form, for the issuance of library card, in the central library. Went to sleep by 9:30.
3 August (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:30. Went to State Bank of India by 9:00 and collected an authentic receipt from the staff showing that the said amount of money was deposited by me in the bank. Had my lunch by 1:00. Started to our English Department by 2:15. Today fresh students, seniors and research scholars are supposed to meet formally in the get-together. However, all invitees did not turn up to this event. All of us introduced ourselves among ourselves. After this formal occasion, we, the first semester M.A. English students, assembled in our classroom by 3:30. Professor Sudhakar Marathe, the present Head of the Department of English, spoke to us for more than one hour about the phenomena and conditions associated with this university and our English Department. Went to sleep by 10:00.
4 August (Friday)
Woke up by 5:00. Attended the classes by 9:20. Our Lecturer D Murali Manohar was not available in the department. So, we, the students of first semester M.A. English, went to central library. Collected and photocopied 14 sonnets of Shakespeare as we were told earlier to do by our Reader Hoshang Merchant. Spent my time in the library for two hours and came back to Men’s Hostel “A” by 11:30. Rested for 90 minutes. Copied the sonnets into my preparatory notebook for two hours. My roommate is Samanta Sahu of Orissa from Political Science Department. He is a good boy. I feel very comfortable in staying along with him. Evening it was cloudy and cool. I enjoyed it. Went to sleep by 10:00.
5 August (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:00. Today we don’t have classes. Went to central library and spent there till 12:00. Here, Indira Gandhi Memorial Library is a big swimming pool of knowledge for those that wish to swim in the ocean of endless wisdom. I lost myself in the abundance of books in this library. Today I scanned various books of medicine. I saw the photos of various patients with fatal diseases. I felt I am a privileged creature in this vast creation not having any physical or mental disorder. Thank you God for Your compassion toward me. Had my lunch and went to Computer Center in Science Complex. Took an application form to join it. Afternoon spent in the central library. Went to sleep by 9:30.
6 August (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Morning washed a pair of clothes. Thereafter listened to a few Telugu cine songs on the tape recorder of my friend for some time. Spent most of my time lying on cot in my hostel room. My folks at home, the lives of the creatures before me, my admiration for Lakshmi and her affectionate behavior toward me which made me mad after her and my desire to develop friendship with a girl to find myself happy in her company and words, are the waves of thoughts and memories that often flow across my mind. What can I do, my age is such. May God bless me. Evening wrote letters to my friends, parents and our History Lecturer C Surya Sobhan. Whenever I remain alone, serious thoughts and memories keep on torturing me. Went to sleep by 9:30 for my dreams.
7 August (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. Had my breakfast by 8:00. Started to our department by 9:00. The first class took place between 9:20 and 10:30. It was “The Seventeenth Century English Literature and Thought (1579-1700). The instructor is Reader Sachidananda Mohanty. He is a tall person with teaching potential. I could not hear his words clearly because the noise of fans subdued his voice. After that we had “The Structure of Modern English” class to which course the instructor is Reader Pingali Sailaja. She has attractive look and excellent teaching capability. She represents the scholarly Indian woman with refined demeanor and commendable punctuality. Afternoon spent in the central library reading books. Went to sleep by 9:00.
8 August (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Got ready and attended the classes by 9:20. Today “Shakespeare” and “Indian Writing in English” classes took place. Hoshang Merchant, the instructor of the course on Shakespeare, taught us very well. His class was filled with humor. After that Murali Manohar came to the class. He is from Kurnool district in Andhra Pradesh. He is young and energetic. I felt at home in his class. His teaching would be delightful for fresh and innocent graduates like me. He is a good lecturer. He provided us with the schedule of the tests, seminars and term papers to be conducted by him or prepared by us as part of the continuous/internal assessment. Afternoon spent some time in the central library. Went to sleep by 10:30.
9 August (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:00. Got ready soon and engaged myself in my academic work. From 9:00 to 10:30 collected meanings for difficult words in the short story “Duty” of Mulk Raj Anand. Highly educated poets and writers use rich vocabulary according to their standards. When it comes to be comprehended by ordinary students like me, it is inevitably necessary to refer to a standard English dictionary. One can’t understand any language of high standard that easily because every language is a complex unit of many words and idioms. Today only the class of P Sailaja took place. Her voice is engaging. Evening did a little written work. Went to sleep by 8:30.
10 August (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:30. Got ready soon and attended the classes by 9:20. Today “Shakespeare” and “Seventeenth Century English Literature and Thought” classes went on. I found both the classes beyond my comprehension level. Both of them went to the sky to teach great concepts in a complicated language. An ordinary student like me can’t reach those altitudes of erudition. Yet we have to try to comprehend it because it is our duty over here as students/learners. Came back to hostel by 1:00. Had my lunch and prepared the summary of the short story “Duty” of Mulk Raj Anand. Night read the short story “The Mark of Vishnu”. Went to sleep by 10:30.
11 August (Friday)
Woke up by 5:30. Got ready and attended the classes by 9:00. Today we had only “Indian Writing in English” class by Murali Manohar. He suggested some books to read to have a comprehensive understanding of “Indian Writing in English”. He provided us with the names of some books and journals related to Indian English literature. I felt happy at it. Some poems of Rabindranath Tagore, Toru Dutt, Sarojini Naidu, Kamala Das, Nissim Ezekiel and Aurobindo are set in our ‘course outline’, as they call it here. Had my lunch and spent doing written work related to simplification of the short stories of some Indian English writers. Time is passing passively. I am not finding it encouraging. Went to sleep by 10:30.
12 August (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:00. All the day spent within the hostel. Morning did written work related to simplification of some short stories. Afternoon read the novel Kanthapura of Raja Rao for two hours. Evening wrote letters to my brother Srinivas, my sister-in-law Sowjanya and my cousin Narendra Varma. I find myself here as a parrot in a cage. Why all these studies? Can’t man live without these chains of responsibilities? What to me if Shakespeare or Rabindranath Tagore wrote something? Of course, those writings acquaint one with ideal thoughts, which may lead one toward righteous acts. I have good character. I never hurt others intentionally. What should I learn from others? I pity myself to sell my liberty to these pursuits of academic debate. Went to sleep by 9:30.
13 August (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Had my breakfast by 8:00 in our hostel mess. By 9:00 took our university bus for Abids. I came across the Telugu lecturer in our degree college at Elamanchili with his family in the bus. He told me that he came to our university to attend a refresher course. Got off it at Abids. Bought a used book very cheaply from a vendor on the footpath. Thence proceeded to Kothi and bought five books at a bookshop. Returned to the campus by 12:30. From 1:00 to 7:00 read the novel Kanthapura of Raja Rao. Night talked with my roommate for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00.
14 August (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. Morning washed my clothes. Got ready by 9:00 and started to the Department of English. Today two classes went on. One is “Seventeenth Century English Literature and Thought” by Sachidananda Mohanty and the other one is “The Structure of Modern English” by P Sailaja. Had my lunch and went to central library for an orientation class (to our first semester M.A. English students) on how to use the library in a technical way. They taught us about the code language, which is being used throughout the world for transactions in libraries. Later we were taught about how to search for a book using the computer connected to the LAN. It is known as OPAC. Returned to Room No. 106 in Men’s Hostel “A” by 5:00. Night read Kanthapura for some time. Went to sleep by 10:00.
15 August (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Today it is the 54th Independence Day of India. Every free man and woman that has food, shelter and somebody to care for can celebrate it. Attended the celebration of this occasion at Professor Gurbaksh Singh Maidan. Professor Palle Rama Rao, the present Vice Chancellor of the University of Hyderabad, was the chief guest of the occasion. He has scholarly appearance. Some cultural activities took place after his formal speech. Sweets were distributed toward the end of this program. Spent some time listening to Telugu cine songs on a tape recorder borrowed from one of my hostel mates. By 5:00 left for Serilingampally by city bus and did a bit of shopping. Came back to hostel by 6:30. Ironed my clothes for some time. Went to sleep by 9:30.
16 August (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Attended the classes by 11:00. Today “The Structure of Modern English” class was taken by P Sailaja. Our seniors, the third semester students of M.A. English, told us to attend an interaction program at the nursery in the campus. We reached there by 2:30 walking via ladies hostels. The informal interaction program included introducing oneself to others, tug of war, singing and a silly mode of playing football meant for fun and joy. It ended by 4:30. Night only boys were asked to attend another interaction program in Room No. 117 in Men’s Hostel “B”. It went on well. Went to sleep by 9:30.
17 August (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:30. Got ready and attended the classes by 9:20. Today “Shakespeare” and “Seventeenth Century English Literature and Thought” classes went on. Came back to hostel by 1:00. Had my lunch and read the novel The Financial Expert of R K Narayan. This novel presents the interesting story of a man crossing various stages of his financial life. When one is poor, one spends one’s pathetic life thinking about and toiling for money. He can’t enjoy his life in such conditions. When one earns a lot of money, investing one’s wisdom or tactics, one can feel rich in the society but one can’t be secure and happy internally. Then one needs to save that money from being stolen by others. Thus money creates a lot of problems in one’s life. Yet one is supposed to bear with it. Went to sleep by 9:30.
18 August (Friday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent most of my time copying the scene-wise summary of The Merchant of Venice into my preparatory notebook for a quick reference later. Simultaneously I listened to melodious Telugu cine songs on the small tape recorder of Kuracha Srinivasa Rao, my hostel mate, belonging to village Baligattam near Narsipatnam. He is currently pursuing his third semester M.Sc. Physics. Now he is the Mess Secretary of Men’s Hostel “A”. He is a happy-go-lucky kind of person. He has much knowledge about this university. He greets everybody with a pleasing smile. I feel at home with him. May God bless him. Went to sleep by 9:30.
19 August (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:50. Spent much of my time within the hostel. Morning prepared notes for The Merchant of Venice of Shakespeare. My thought follows, “Attraction between a male and a female is a wonderful feature of this world. We can call it love or admiration. The more it is pure and intense for the other, the more it depresses and suppresses the one involved in it. Such attraction toward others keeps one entangled in the web of relationships and the associated pains and tears. Appreciation from the opposite gender encourages one dramatically toward bad or good pursuits of life. But what is it that makes men and women attractive for one another? Why are they suffering with intense pain if separation takes place between them? If it is genetic, who committed that crime installing it in humans? I don’t have answers to these questions but I like to further explore them in future”. Went to sleep by 12:00.
20 August (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:45. Today it was cool. Spent most of my time within the hostel. It rained continually. By 2:00 our History Lecturer C Surya Sobhan came to our hostel to see me. He came to Hyderabad to attend a work. He told me that he is presently working as an officer in the Social Welfare Department (related to youth affairs) in Vizianagaram district. I felt happy at his affection for me in coming to see me. He advised me to face my life bravely. Afternoon both of us had our lunch in our hostel mess. Somebody else came along with him. I got him into a bus and returned to hostel by 4:00. Went to sleep by 10:30.
21 August (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. Got ready soon and attended the classes by 9:20. Today it is the first day of the Parsi New Year. I knew that our Reader Hoshang Merchant belongs to this community. Perhaps he must have stayed back at home to celebrate it. So, we spent outside for some time during the time of his class. Later we had our second class “The Structure of Modern English” by P Sailaja. Came back to hostel by 12:45. Had my lunch and read Where shall we go this summer, the novel of Anita Desai, for two hours. By 6:00 went to Shopping Complex to buy a few items. Came back to hostel by 6:40. Had my supper by 8:00. Put on melodious Telugu cine songs on tape recorder and resumed reading the novel. Went to sleep by 12:00.
22 August (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:00. Got ready and attended the classes by 9:00. The first class was of Hoshang Merchant. Mostly his class would be filled with continuous humor. He looks like a saint. I heard that he is a poet. After that Professor Alladi Uma came to our classroom. She took our class on the request of our Lecturer D Murali Manohar, who would be on leave for some days. She discussed the objectives of women’s writing in English and feminist perspectives. The main focus was on Where shall we go this summer of Anita Desai. Came back to hostel by 1:15. Afternoon, evening and night read the aforementioned novel. Went to sleep by 9:30.
23 August (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:00. Freshened up myself soon and read novella He conquered the jungle of Keshava Reddy. It is one of the set texts in our course on “Indian Writing in English”. This novella was originally written in Telugu by Keshava Reddy of Chittoor district in Andhra Pradesh. Its title in Telugu is Athadu Adavini Jayinchaadu. C L L Jaya Prada translated this regional work into English. Her translation is very good. She retained the beauty and flavor of the original work in her translation. Morning “The Structure of Modern English” class took place. Today it rained throughout the day. By 9:00 I finished reading the aforesaid novella. Went to sleep by 9:30.
24 August (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:55. Got ready and attended the classes by 9:00. Today “Shakespeare” class went on. Came back to hostel by 12:00. Rested on iron cot for one hour. Had my lunch by 1:30. By 2:00 went to our department for a guest lecture by a Danish citizen. He is interested in Indian literature in English. He discussed a short story of Danish language. It is “Ann and the Cow”. It is related to the solitary life of a poor woman in a village. Professor Sudhakar Marathe coordinated this program. Denmark is in Europe. It is a small country with around five million people. Danish language is the main one in that country. English language is slowly spreading there. He told some other things about his nation. Went to sleep by 10:30.
25 August (Friday)
Woke up by 6:30. Got ready and attended the classes by 9:00. Today Lecturer Sunita Rani came to our class. She discussed the main characteristics of Girish Karnad’s play Hayavadana. I liked her teaching. Came back to hostel by 12:00. Went through Untouchable, the novel of Mulk Raj Anand. This novel is a satire on the caste system in India observed by upper caste Hindus during 1940s. The main focus is on scavengers, who led pathetic lives being humiliated by and segregated from other privileged sections of the society. I liked this novel very much. Its language is simple but the issue it discusses is great. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 9:30.
26 August (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:30. All the day spent within the hostel. Today it was cool and cloudy. Most of the time spent reading Othello, the play of Shakespeare. What a great work it is! I pity the character of Desdemona. She represents the helplessness and vulnerability of noble women. Being brought up in a rich and conservative family, she lacks enough understanding of the cruel and hypocritical society around her. Iago is a representative of such social beings. A sensitive and innocent woman can love her beloved very deeply but cannot save her life when he turns into a villain being misguided by another villain. Othello tortures her with his humiliating remarks toward the end. She remains silent and helpless before him. She dies in the hands of her lover toward the end of this play. A delicate rose is thus crushed under the feet of a demon. This play warns sensitive lovers to be cautious before listening to words by others about their beloved ones. Went to sleep by 10:00.
27 August (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:30. Spent most of my time within the hostel. Spent much of my time preparing notes for the play “Othello” of Shakespeare. Today also it was cloudy and cool. It has been raining for the last three days. Floods ravaged many districts in Andhra Pradesh. The situation in the twin cities is grim. People living in low-lying areas are being evacuated. The staff of Indian Navy and Indian Air Force is deployed to face this situation. Relief and rehabilitation activities are going on. Money and food are being distributed to the affected ones. Went to sleep by 9:00.
28 August (Monday)
Woke up by 6:00. Had my breakfast, got ready and attended the classes by 9:20. Today our first period had to be taken by Sachidananda Mohanty. He was not available in the department. P Sailaja took the second period. It went on for one hour. Came back to hostel by 1:00 and had my lunch. From 2:00 to 6:30 read Girish Karnad’s play Hayavadana. The title means “A man with a horse’s head”. In other words, a strange creature with human and animal features and qualities. It is a hilarious play with a bit of wit. Went to sleep by 9:30.
29 August (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Got ready and attended the classes by 9:20. Hoshang Merchant took the class. Meanwhile the University Student Union came to our department and told the students to leave the classes in support of the observation of boycott of the classes in protest against the deaths in the stampede (something similar) that occurred recently in Hyderabad city when political activists were agitating against the state government questioning its recent measure of hike in the electricity tariffs. I can’t understand what these bloody students can achieve observing these boycotts and strikes on campuses. The present governments don’t care these trivial and silly activities by students. When many are on the side of unrest and corruption, a few passive and weak blokes of a society can’t bring about a great change in it. Went to sleep by 9:30.
30 August (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Got ready and attended the classes by 11:10. Today we had “The Structure of Modern English” class by P Sailaja. She took it for 90 minutes. Came back to hostel by 12:50. Today I received a registered post from my brother Sambha. Previously I wrote him to send me an Income Certificate. He sent it for me but it became useless for me because the statement of our annual income given in it does not suit my purpose. Night wrote a long letter to my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani. It carries the discussion of contemporary social issues from a philosophical perspective. I went on writing this letter from 8:00 to 12:00. Even today it was cool and cloudy. Went to sleep by 12:30.
31 August (Thursday)
Got up by 6:30. Freshened up myself and had my breakfast by 7:50. Attended the classes by 9:10. Hoshang Merchant took the first period. Today he conducted a slip test on a sonnet of Shakespeare. This test is part of internal assessment. I did well in it. Later Sachidananda Mohanty took our class. He discussed metaphysical poetry. Returned to hostel by 1:00. Flood situation in the twin cities is grim. This is the last day of this month. It looked after me well. Thank you my dear month. I am grateful to your love and care for me. May Lord Krishna and Goddess Saraswati guide me towards success and happiness. Went to sleep by 11:30.
1 September (Friday)
Woke up by 6:00. Today it is “Vinayaka Chathurdhi”, the Hindu festival related to the worship of Lord Vigneswara. The students of our hostel performed worship in a traditional and ceremonious way. Some students gathered before the earthen idol of the God and listened to the story (narrated by one of our hostel mates who took the position of a priest for this occasion) of how Lord Ganesh achieved His position of “God for prevention of obstacles”. I pray Him to direct me with a kind heart preventing hurdles in my path of learning and improvement. Evening attended the cultural presentation of students from Orissa, marking this festival, organized at Prof. Gurbaksh Singh Hall. It went on from 8:00 to 10:00 greatly delighting the hearts of audience. Went to sleep by 11:00.
2 September (Saturday)
Got up by 5:30. All the day stayed within the hostel. Spent most of my time collecting some nouns and their meanings from my Active Study Dictionary of Orient Longman Limited. I copied them into my preparatory notebook. Night wrote letters to G L Sudha Rani, the physics lecturer in our degree college, and a friend of mine from the same college. Attended the Telugu feature film “Coolie No.1” on Eenadu television channel in our hostel TV room by 9:30. Venkatesh and Tabu played the main roles in this film. Tabu is my favorite film actress now. Why is it so, I question myself. The answer is vague. May be her beauty and smiles would have attracted me. Went to sleep by 11:30.
3 September (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:30. Spent most of my time within the hostel writing notes. The name of my Lord Krishna follows, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Went to sleep by 10:30.
4 September (Monday)
Woke up by 5:40. Got ready and went to our hostel mess by 7:30. Had my breakfast. Started to our English department by 9:00. Today only one class took place. It is “Seventeenth Century English Literature and Thought” by Sachidananda Mohanty. He talked about the poetry of George Herbert. In the earlier classes by him, the poetry of John Donne was examined. Narasaiah, our classmate, sang a Christian psalm toward the end of this class with vigor and religious fervor. We enjoyed it. Came back to hostel by 11:30. Afternoon went to central library to collect some copies of previous question papers to send to one of my friends at degree college in Elamanchili. Went to sleep by 9:30.
5 September (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Got ready and attended the classes by 9:10. Today two classes went on. One is “Shakespeare” and the other one is “Indian Writing in English”. Lecturer M Sridhar took the second class on the request of our Lecturer Murali Manohar, who is on leave. He discussed Athadu Adavini Jayinchaadu, the novella of Keshava Reddy, which was translated into English by C L L Jaya Prada. Its English version is one of the core texts for us in this course. He discussed the plot of this novella contrasting it with Ernest Hemingway’s The Old Man and the Sea. He said that the treatment of theme and even some sub-plots remind one the novel of Hemingway. However, these two works are not similar in many ways. Went to sleep by 9:30.
6 September (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Got ready and attended the classes by 11:20. Today, in our class of “Indian Writing in English”, “Jawni”, a short story by Raja Rao, was discussed. Afternoon listened to the Telugu program “Mahilaa Samaajam” on Hyderabad radio in which my letter (previously sent to them) on their given topic “The mother is the first teacher in this cosmos” was also read out. By 3:30 attended a seminar in Ambedkar Auditorium. The topic is “The Need of Youth to Build the Nation in the 21st Century”. The chief guests are Parakala Prabhakar, the spokesperson of B.J.P. in Andhra Pradesh, and Dr. Jaya Prakash Narayan, the Convener of “Lok Satta”. Professor Palle Rama Rao, our present vice chancellor, presided over this session. It ended by 6:30. Went to sleep by 9:30.
7 September (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:30. Today it is the last day in the 24th year of my life. In retrospect, I find my life disciplined and passive. I did not enjoy my youth. I craved for sweet words from a beauty. I never came across any girls that found me interesting. I deposited much burden of my suppressed words in my heart. They call them heartstrings. Infatuation (common disease found in every healthy human being) often attacked me. If I missed anything badly in my childhood, it should be friendship of a beautiful girl. Sensitive love from a beautiful girl is a great thrill very few can be blest with in childhood. I spent a reticent and inhibited life being haunted by poverty and lovesickness. I dreamt for love. Reality kept me in a cavern of gloom and distress. But I have been successful as an ordinary boy and student. I owe a lot to God for saving the light of my life from the winds of misery and melancholy. Went to sleep by 12:00.
8 September (Friday)
Got up by 6:30. Today I enter my 25th year of life. My prayers to Lord Krishna. My salutes to Mother Saraswati. My life is dedicated to Her. May Lord Ganesh bless and direct me always. This is the most youthful year I am going to pass through. Today I did not celebrate my birthday but I felt happy to know that I am entering my Silver Jubilee Year of Life. It is an age during which one should play happily in lawns with one’s sweetheart. Walking by seashore with one’s sweetheart talking about something and feeling the rush of breezes around has beauty and specialty in it. One can’t buy it; one should get it. I could not get it. I regret it. Presently, being part of life moving around English literature, I am supposed to witness the suffering of other characters in literary works. Very few writers discussed the theme of happiness because many did not enjoy happy life or see happy world. Went to sleep by 11:30.
9 September (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:30. All the day spent within the hostel. My thought follows, “Literature is an enticing sphere of human sensibility and sensitivity. One needs high standards of comprehension, analysis and application to appreciate literature. It is a branch of human thought meant for and spread among intellectual and visionary people of the world. English literature attracted many during the last few decades. Since this language captured the attention of many nations in the world, many writers and poets like to disseminate their thoughts through this medium of human interaction. Literature is oasis of salvation in the desert of world of indecision and destruction”. Went to sleep by 9:30.
10 September (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:30. Went to central library by 10:00. Spent there till 12:30. There are about two lakhs of books in this library. I was shocked at the weight of the knowledge they are carrying. My life is smaller compared with them. I was born in a village and spent an innocent and ignorant life till now. I have to pursue English literature for two academic years. Previously I did not have much interaction with this subject. For this reason, the intellectual atmosphere in this campus is looking somewhat frightening and strange to me. My salutes to Mother Saraswati. Let Her guide me. Went to sleep by 10:00.
11 September (Monday)
Got up by 6:00. By 7:30 my brother Sambha came from home. He came by Godavari Express from Narsipatnam Road. I told him to rest to get rid of weariness caused by train journey. Went to classes by 9:20. An internal assessment test was conducted in the class of Sachidananda Mohanty. He rigorously cautioned us to be active in our studies. Came back to hostel by 1:00. My brother and I had our lunch in our hostel mess and went out to see some places in the campus. We walked visiting New Sports Complex, Non-teaching Staff Quarters, English Department, a small lake behind the University Guesthouse and Indira Gandhi Memorial Library (in which we spent for two hours). We returned to hostel by 5:30. Went to sleep by 10:30.
12 September (Tuesday)
Got up by 6:30. Today, the holy earthen idols of Lord Ganesh, who received the worship of His devotees for all these nine days, would be ceremoniously immersed in water. The people in twin cities of Hyderabad and Secunderabad specially celebrate this grand event every year. So, we did not have our classes today. My brother and I started to Secunderabad by 9:00. We took an auto rickshaw to Serilingampally and thence a city bus. My brother told that he would take some train and asked me to leave for my hostel back. I took leave of him and returned to our hostel. From 2:00 to 6:00 read the play The tempest of Shakespeare. Night I felt ecstasy in my god-gifted dreamland of heavenly bliss. My darling lovingly looked at me. Went to sleep by 9:30.
13 September (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Prepared the summary of the play The tempest for some time. Attended the class of Hoshang Merchant by 11:20. Came back to hostel by 1:00. By 2:00 attended the guest lecture in our classroom by Ramachandran Nayar, the Head of the Department of English at Calicut University. His daughter is studying in our English Department (presently in her third semester M.A. English). He discussed “Postcolonial Literature”. He said that it does not mean the literature emerging after independence of a nation from its colonizer. However, it is difficult to trace the exact origin of this facet of English literature. He said that the objective of this literature should be exploring and discussing the contemporary socioeconomic, religious, political and ethnic issues of human life from an ideal or realistic perspective. Went to sleep by 11:00.
14 September (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:30. Got ready and attended the classes by 9:20. Today “Shakespeare” and “Seventeenth Century English Literature and Thought” classes went on. Today Sachidananda Mohanty suggested that five important points should be considered while preparing a thesis or writing an essay. Came back to hostel by 1:00. Afternoon went to Administration Block to deal with a follow-up process of merit-cum-means student scholarship. Came back to hostel by 5:00. Spent rest of the time reading the play “King Lear” of Shakespeare. It has many characters. The names of Europeans (their spelling and pronunciation) are difficult to be remembered by ordinary English literature students in India like me. Went to sleep by 9:00.
15 September (Friday)
Woke up by 5:30. Got ready and attended the classes by 9:20. Today only “Indian Writing in English” class went on. Today, in this class, “The devoted son” of Anita Desai, “Padmavati–The Harlot” of Kamala Das and “Bondage” of Manohar Malgonkar, three short stories, were discussed from various perspectives by students (my classmates) and the lecturer. I did not agree with their argument that, in the short story “Padmavati–The Harlot” of Kamala Das, the protagonist was molested by some lewd ones, who teased her earlier on her way to the temple. I think that the God accepted her body and mind as a pure offering to Him and so she experiences ecstasy in her highly immersed worship to Him in the temple toward the end of this short story. In my opinion, even if God does not accept the spiritual sanctity of His devotees (though they are physically exploited by inhuman society, the purity of their character should not be suspected by spiritualists) where is salvation for the victims of Indian society? I think God accepted the purity of her character as a devotee to Him. Went to sleep by 9:30.
16 September (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:30. Spent my daytime without doing any important work. Night “Welcome to Freshers” celebration took place at the open dais opposite Gopal Shop. It is the first big entertainment program for the students of this central university in this academic year. “Geeth Sangeeth”, a noted music band in the twin cities, is the invited orchestra for this occasion. The powerful winds of this event of entertainment blew in our campus from 10:30 to 3:00. Invigorating and maddening songs from old and new Telugu and Hindi films were sung by the singers of this band accompanied with awesome and deafening music. Many enthusiastic and dynamic students danced with ecstasy for all the songs. Girls too accompanied them in the same scale of enjoyment and rapidity of action but their participation is relatively less. The drunken boys shook their springy bodies madly. Dust feared to rest on the ground and so rose into the open to accompany them competently. It was a time of endless joy for crazy youth. Everybody drank his or her share of mirth from it. I wanted to join them but I felt inferior to meet the craziness of their youth and the beauty of their dance. Went to sleep by 3:50.
17 September (Sunday)
Woke up by 8:30. Spent most of my time within the hostel. From 9:30 to 12:30 listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder in our hostel room lying on my iron cot. It took me into a beautiful imaginary world. Had my lunch by 1:15 and prepared for the test tomorrow. Night heard that the shooting of a tele serial was going on at Ambedkar Auditorium in our campus. By 9:00 reached there along with my friend to watch it for some time. I enjoyed it. I frequently heard the interesting word of the scene “Action” from a fellow. I liked his special status in the location. All that looked very artificial to me. But humans like unrealistic things more than realistic ones. Let them be in their fantastic world. Doing something somewhere is interesting for them. Went to sleep by 10:30.
18 September (Monday)
Woke up by 6:30. Got ready and attended the classes by 9:20. Today two classes went on. In the second class, an internal assessment test was conducted by P Sailaja. Afternoon went to central library and collected my Library Card. By 4:30 attended a lecture by General K V Krishna Rao on “Autonomy to Kashmir”. He discussed this issue in an authoritative and inspiring way. We felt that he behaved like an experienced teacher (with a vast practical knowledge about the Indian military system) telling us about the fundamental truths related to the Indian army system. I was highly thrilled to observe the challenging spirit and patriotic feeling in every word of his long speech and his meaningful and relevant answers to various questions raised by the audience after his speech. Came back to hostel by 7:00. Went to sleep by 9:00.
19 September (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Got ready and attended the classes by 9:20. Today two classes went on. In the first class, Hoshang Merchant conducted a slip test on a sonnet of Shakespeare. Today he turned furious with a girl in our class because she did not greet him even though she noticed him when he came across her somewhere in the city recently. He felt very disappointed at the poor manners of that student. I think that a teacher should be formally greeted by his or her learners for his or her satisfaction at least. In the following class, we discussed the poems of Toru Dutt. The ambiance in this university campus is inspiring, romantic and soothing. Night read “Measure for measure” of Shakespeare. Went to sleep by 12:30.
20 September (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Got ready and went to the classes by 9:20. Today there was only one class. It was “The Structure of Modern English”. This class was from 11:20 to 1:00. Came back to hostel by 1:15 and had my lunch. Afternoon did a little written work. Evening listened to some Telugu cine songs on tape recorder. Night wrote a letter to General K V Krishna Rao, an eminent personality in the Indian defense and administration systems. This letter mostly contained my words of admiration and appreciation for his ideal personality and his vitalizing speech recently in our campus. He is a man of strength and worth in body and spirit. I must express my sense of gratitude to such great man. My prayers to Lord Gopal. My salutes to Mother Saraswati. Laid myself down on my iron cot by 9:00 but could manage to sleep only around 11:00 (mind refused to rest being busy with thoughts).
21 September (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:30. Got ready and attended the classes by 9:20. Today two classes had to take place but one class did not go on due to the absence of Professor Sachidananda Mohanty. In the first class, Hoshang Merchant conducted a slip test to us on some sonnets of Shakespeare. Today I discussed my letter to General K V Krishna Rao with Reader P Sailaja. She told me that a good letter should be brief and to the point. She suggested me that I should reduce the body of my letter to him. She pointed out some grammatical errors in it. Came back to hostel by 12:00. Spent rest of the day casually. Night went to a small shop at the Non-teaching Staff (NTS) quarters and bought some sweet eatables for me. Went to sleep by 9:00.
22 September (Friday)
Woke up by 5:30. Got ready and attended the classes by 9:20. Today, in our class, the poems of Rabindranath Tagore were discussed. Our Lecturer D Murali Manohar gives us an opportunity to explore poems and then comment on them based on our perspectives. The language of poetry is an odd mixture of various words with mutually conflicted meanings. The creator of poetry writes it in different mood and context. Readers have different mindsets based on their socioeconomic, cultural, national and intellectual backgrounds. So, various interpretations emerge centered on the same piece of literature depending on the psychological growth of the people commenting on it. This is how differences of opinion emerge in literary debates. It adds beauty and depth to literature. Evening prepared my term paper titled “A Misunderstood Sultan–Tughlaq” based on Girish Karnad’s play Tughlaq. My roommate Degala Ravi Kumar helped me in getting it printed on laser printer at Computer Center. Went to sleep by 3:00.
23 September (Saturday)
Woke up by 7:00. Today I felt very sleepy due to sleeplessness last night. So, I spent much of my morning time sleeping on my iron cot sensing the comfort of mattress on it. Around 11:00 saw an advertisement in the Employment News (a weekly publication by the Government of India carrying employment related advertisements and information). It is by “National Institute of Human Rights” in New Delhi, inviting attention of candidates for getting their admission into its two-year M.A. program in Human Rights. Rushed to post office and sent 45 rupees to them by Money Order toward the cost of its application form and prospectus. Evening spent some time in the central library. By 7:30 attended the “Party Welcoming Freshers” organized by our seniors (third semester students of M.A. English) at Professor Gurbaksh Singh Hall. We enjoyed among ourselves eating and dancing from 8:00 to 3:00. Went to sleep by 4:00.
24 September (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:30. Spent most of my time within the hostel. Rested on my iron cot from 9:00 to 1:00. Afternoon prepared notes for the novella He conquered the jungle of Keshava Reddy. He narrated the interesting story of an old man (dependent on his pigs) in it. He spends a moonlit night in a deep forest searching for his lost pig. It delivers over there in a bush. He fights with wild animals to save his piglets from them. He kills his dear pig in that struggle. When returning home in the early morning, he finds his piglets also dead in the basket. He reaches his hut with a gloomy spirit. Life is a struggle. He faced it boldly despite his old age. Devoted struggle to achieve something good is important. Results may not be positive always. He appears like a star of fortitude and heroism in this novella. Went to sleep by 9:00.
25 September (Monday)
Woke up by 6:30. Got ready and attended the classes by 9:30. Today Sachidananda Mohanty took our first class. After that P Sailaja took her class. After her class, I went to her to discuss my letter to General K V Krishna Rao. She told me to consult her later about it. I offered her a few audiocassettes of melodious Telugu cine songs. She said that she had already listened to all those cine songs on her music system. She thanked me for offering her audiocassettes. She added that her music system is currently under repair. Afternoon went into the classroom of our seniors along with my classmates. A small election was there. We, the first and third semester students of M.A. English, are supposed to elect our Student Representative. He/she deals with our issues on our behalf at the level of our department. Anuradha, a girl from our seniors, was elected for this position in five minutes. There was no much competition. Evening prepared notes for the play Hayavadana of Girish Karnad. Night strolled along road for some time enjoying fresh air. Went to sleep by 10:00.
26 September (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Freshened up myself and had my breakfast by 8:00. Attended the classes by 9:00. In the first class, Hoshang Merchant discussed the 55th sonnet of William Shakespeare. In the second class, D Murali Manohar conducted an internal assessment test for 20 marks. I did the test very well describing the element of obedience of Rakesh in the short story “A devoted son” of Anita Desai, towards his parents, throughout his life, being a famous doctor also. He is a devoted son. I felt happy at today’s test because I did it collecting content from the depth of my heart. Evening spent some time in the central library. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 12:00.
27 September (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Got ready and attended the classes by 9:30. Today Sachidananda Mohanty had to take his class. From 10:30 to 11:00 discussed my letter to General K V Krishna Rao with P Sailaja. She rejected it saying that it’s filled with poetic language. The odor of our regional language should not be there in a letter when we are writing it in a foreign language. English language has a tradition. She criticized me for being very poor at English grammar being a postgraduate student in English literature. She advised me to use simple language and style. It makes up a good letter. She told me to be brief in narrating anything in a formal letter. I avoided my first letter and wrote another letter within a few minutes. She corrected some grammatical errors in it. Then she approved it. I posted it. Went to sleep by 9:00.
28 September (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:30. Got ready and attended the classes by 9:00. Today Hoshang Merchant conducted an internal assessment test on the 55th sonnet of William Shakespeare. In the following class, Sachidananda Mohanty advised us on how to write a term paper. Being to the point, using simple language and lucid sentence structure, clarity of expression of thought and logical arrangement of the flow of the thought are the main points to be borne in one’s mind when one is preparing a term paper. Statement of purpose is also an important point to be specified in the very beginning of a term paper. Later he discussed “Of Education” of John Milton. Afternoon, evening and night read John Bunyan’s The Pilgrim’s Progress–Book I. Went to sleep by 10:00.
29 September (Friday)
Woke up by 6:30. Today we had only one class. Attended it by 9:20. Today we discussed “Death-Wedding”, “Gift” and “Question and New Birth”, three of many poems written by Rabindranath Tagore. Came back to hostel by 12:00. Spent one hour idly. Had my lunch by 1:00. By 2:30 went to central library along with my friend Kuracha Srinivasa Rao. There, at the reception counter, I returned my borrowed books. Then went to Shopping Complex. There I bought some sheets of paper and had my haircut. Came back to hostel by 5:30. Took head bath and felt relieved. Watched television for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00.
30 September (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:30. All the day spent within the hostel. Today I prepared my term paper titled “The Concept of Spiritual Journey of a Pilgrim” based on John Bunyan’s The Pilgrim’s Progress Book–I. I like the narrative style in this work. A seeker has to confront various fatal hurdles in his path of spiritual journey from this sinful world of earthly existence to the gracious and brilliant world of the God, where there is no sorrow but eternal bliss and contentment. Even a slight mistake on part of the seeker in this turbulent and misguiding journey toward attaining God might throw him back into the sorrowful world again. One should have the qualities of a saint and a warrior to reach God and attain salvation. Went to sleep by 10:30.
1 October (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:30. Spent my time within the hostel room. Read the novel Train to Pakistan of Khushwant Singh most of the time. Soon after partition of united India into India and Pakistan in 1947, religious clashes surfaced in both the countries. Atrocities ravaged the lives of the ignorant and the helpless. The situation turned horrendous in border areas of two countries. The novelist focused on the tense state of affairs prevailing at fictional village Mano Majra in Punjab. Hindus and Muslims lived harmoniously in this village before partition. The separation planted seeds of mistrust and hatred in them. People were forced to leave their native places forever to go elsewhere as per the orders of respective governments. It severely affected them. They suffered immensely due to this man-made tragedy. Both turned sadistic and resorted to bloodshed. Thousands of dead bodies were transported by trains. One can picture the tragedy of this historical event reading this novel. Went to sleep by 10:30.
2 October (Monday)
Woke up by 6:30. Our university observes a holiday today because it is the birth anniversary of Mahatma Gandhi. Morning prepared my seminar paper titled “The Concept of Communal Harmony in Khushwant Singh’s Novel” based on Train to Pakistan. I have to present this paper in our classroom to our classmates under the supervision of our Lecturer Murali Manohar. My turn comes shortly. Afternoon, evening and night prepared the summary of Raja Rao’s novel Kanthapura. The narrative style of this novel is touching and exciting. Kanthapura, a small village in Karnataka, represents the typical village atmosphere in India. This novel portrays the freedom movement started and led by Moorthy in that village. My salutes to Mahatma Gandhi, the chief captain of ship of freedom movement in India. Went to sleep by 9:30.
3 October (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Freshened up myself and had my breakfast in our hostel mess by 8:00. Attended the classes by 9:20. Hoshang Merchant discussed Shakespeare’s 87th sonnet in the first class. Murali Manohar started our classroom seminar presentations in the second class. Four students presented their seminar papers today on their chosen topics. Other students and the lecturer raised some questions. They answered them. Had my lunch by 1:30. Evening and night prepared notes on Mulk Raj Anand’s novel Untouchable. It deals with the misery of outcasts in conservative Hindu society. Baka, a small boy, is the main protagonist. He suffers due to the behavior of upper caste Hindus around him during his interaction with them on a day of his work as a scavenger. Went to sleep by 10:00.
4 October (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the classes by 11:10. “The Structure of Modern English” class went on. Night I felt too giddy to sleep. I suffered a lot due to this disorder. The name of Lord Krishna follows, “Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. May God bless me. May God bless me.
5 October (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:30. Got ready and attended the classes by 9:20. In the first class, Hoshang Merchant conducted an internal assessment test on Shakespeare’s 87th sonnet (addressed to his friend W H Auden). The second class had to be taken by Sachidananda Mohanty. A seminar took place during that time in Humanities Conference Hall on American literature by an American professor. I did not attend it. Came back to hostel by 11:00. Went to our Health Center to consult doctor about giddiness, which troubled me last night. Today I opened my book (as is the formality here followed by every student in the university to get medical services) of consultation in this center. Later consulted a doctor. She checked my blood pressure. She prescribed “B” complex and “Digene” tablets for my health disorder. Evening read the novel The Financial Expert of R K Narayan. Went to sleep by 9:30.
6 October (Friday)
Woke up by 6:30. Got ready and attended the classes by 9:20. Today we discussed the poems of Aurobindo, which are based on spiritualism. We could not arrive at conclusions in most of his poems because his notions are too lofty to comprehend. However, one can find the sublimity and profundity of mysticism in his poems. Thereafter we briefly discussed his other literary works. Came back to hostel by 12:00. Spent most of the rest of my time reading the novel Where shall we go this summer of Anita Desai, honored with the Sahitya Academy award by the Government of India. Evening and night strolled in the campus to allow fresh air into my lungs and energy into my desolate life, which is suffering from lovesickness for long. Went to sleep by 10:00.
7 October (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:30. Spent much of the daytime preparing notes on Anita Desai’s novel Where shall we go this summer. By 5:30 it started drizzling. Then my friend Srinivasa Rao of Baligattam, near Narsipatnam, presently pursuing his M.Sc. Physics, and I went to the nearby B.H.E.L. complex of temples and had the Darshan (Hindu word for “spiritual visit”) of all the Hindu gods and goddesses present there. Many devotees came there because it is Vijaya Dasami (a holy day) today. We spent in Bhajan (a Hindu practice of worshipping their deities with music and devotional sings) program for one hour. We troubled a bit in reaching Serilingampally in our return journey. Thence we took a city bus and reached our hostel by 10:00. Night I witnessed a heavenly dream in which my sweetheart Lakshmi is the only protagonist. I felt boundless ecstasy to see that subconscious wonder in the theater of my mind. Went to sleep by 11:30.
8 October (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:30. Morning did a bit of written work. Afternoon rested on my iron cot. By 5:30 started to Shilparamam at Madhapur along with two of my hostel mates. It is a beautiful place. Cultural programs have been going on over there for some days on the occasion of Dasara. This tourist spot is spread over about 45 acres of land. The natural beauty here refreshes the weary psyche of visitors within minutes. From 7:00 to 10:30 we watched a Kuchipudi dance recital, a Telugu play and a dance performance. I enjoyed it a lot. Returned to hostel by 11:15. Went to sleep by 11:30.
9 October (Monday)
Woke up by 6:30. Got ready and attended the classes by 9:20. Today two classes went on. In the first class, Sachidananda Mohanty discussed John Milton’s “Of Education”, a letter addressed to Samuel Hartlib. In the second class, P Sailaja returned our evaluated answer papers of her first internal assessment test to us. I got unwanted or unspeakable marks in it. For the first time in my life, I was shocked to think of my marks in a subject. I felt like leaving this university. It is much difficult for me to deal with Received Pronunciation. Almost her course as a whole appears to me like unbearable burden on my brain but what to do! I am supposed to live life like that. Running away from the university because of my incompetence in the studies remains as a blot on my personality in future. I must stay back. Today I received the prospectus and application form from New Delhi for my admission into M.A. in Human Rights (correspondence course) for which I previously sent them a little money. Evening my brother Srinivas and sister-in-law Sandhya Rani called me up from Molleru Mallavaram. Went to sleep by 9:00.
10 October (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Got ready and attended the classes by 9:20. In the first class, Hoshang Merchant discussed the 60th sonnet of Shakespeare. In the following class, the presentation of seminar papers took place under the supervision of Murali Manohar. Today only three students could present their seminar papers. Came back to hostel by 1:15. Spent some time in my room. Then went to our Administrative Block to know about the possibility of issuance of my original B.A. certificates (which I previously submitted to them during my admission) for getting them photocopied. They said that only bona fide certificate can be issued before the due date of their return to us. Night watched the Hindi program “Kaun Banega Crorepati” on Star Plus television channel. It is currently a sensational television program in India. Amitabh Bachchan, a famous Hindi film actor, is the main attraction in this program. It provides the highly excited viewers with a bit of general knowledge and a lot of money to the intelligent participants in the program. Went to sleep by 9:50.
11 October (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:00. Got ready and attended the classes by 9:20. Today there was only one class. It went on from 11:20 to 1:00. Afternoon, evening or night I did nothing in particular. I am looking like a worthless fellow to myself in this university. There is Internet facility but I can’t make use of it because I don’t know even the basics of computer applications. My health failed here. I am becoming weak and distressed. I am being disturbed by various thoughts. I curse myself for being born as a human being. I hate the concept of rebirth. I am fed up with my life. May God take me to Him. Went to sleep by 9:30.
12 October (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:00. Got ready and attended the classes by 9:20. Today two classes went on. In the first class, Hoshang Merchant discussed 60th sonnet of Shakespeare. In the following class, Sachidananda Mohanty dealt with John Milton’s “Of Education” in a comparative analysis of other similar masterpieces in the European literature. Afternoon there was a “Freshers Day Celebration” by Dalit Student Association at Ambedkar Auditorium. I did not attend it. Went to the small canteen meant for Humanities along with my classmates Colin and Vijaya Krishna and had some sweets and a small glass of hot milk. We discussed the concept of non-vegetarianism for half an hour. Night collected meanings for some difficult words in English. Went to sleep by 9:00.
13 October (Friday)
Woke up by 6:00. Today we have only one class and the concerning lecturer is on leave and so it may be considered a holiday. Spent much of the daytime collecting meanings for some difficult words in English. My thought follows, “Human life, quite often, seems to be an unwanted burden on earth. Much of one’s life is dependent on other resources and living beings around. One’s life is mostly spent in struggle for existence. One’s life is confronted with unpredictable path of journey and unending ambitions. Satisfaction is a distant dream. It is filled with inevitable compromises and unbearable internal struggles. A smile represents gaiety, and a cry, complexity. But who can see the settled sorrow in one’s heart? How many unfulfilled desires are buried there? Even those records get burnt off on the pyre after one’s demise”. Went to sleep by 10:30.
14 October (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:00. All the day stayed within the hostel. Spent much of my time preparing the summary of “Of Education”, the essay of John Milton. My thought follows, “When the economy of a nation is booming, the poorest would be victimized. When government offers attractive salaries to its employees, their purchasing power increases. Eventually the prices of essential commodities go up. In that environment, a common man can’t buy quality food items. He frequently visits government hospitals. The richness won’t allow the upper class to establish such economic environment wherein the needs of the poor are cared for. Thus poverty increases along with the growth of an economy. As long as there is poverty, there would be the scenery of hunger, diseases, deaths and the related overall suffering of the society. So, the world can never be admirable in all its dimensions”. Went to sleep by 9:30.
15 October (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:00. Spent most of my time within the hostel. Read a book for some time. Rested for some time. Evening saw a suitable job vacancy for me in a newspaper. Prepared an application to send to the Sahara Airlines. Time is running fast in the campus. The name of my Lord Gopal follows, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Went to sleep by 10:30.
16 October (Monday)
Woke up by 6:00. Attended the classes by 9:20. Today two classes went on. In the first class, Sachidananda Mohanty discussed the salient features and the literary impact of John Bunyan’s novel The Pilgrim’s Progress. In the following class, P Sailaja conducted an internal assessment test for 20 marks. I could not do well in this test. Had my lunch by 1:00. From 2:30 to 5:00 my classmate Vijaya Krishna and I walked through the forest on the campus searching for custard apples. We collected some raw ones and one or two ripe ones (fit to eat). In this highly involved expedition through the forest, I lost my Library Card and a pen. I felt depressed at the loss of these two things. From 8:00 to 12:30 kept on listening to Telugu cine songs on a borrowed tape recorder. I did it to invite sleep onto my eyes. They fought back ferociously. I don’t know when I slithered into sleep.
17 October (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:00. Got ready and attended the classes by 9:20. Hoshang Merchant discussed the 84th sonnet of Shakespeare. After that, in the “Indian Writing in English” class, Murali Manohar presided over the seminar presentations of the students as part of the internal assessment. Today I presented my seminar paper titled “A Focus on Religious Turmoil in Mano Majra”, based on Khushwant Singh’s novel Train to Pakistan. I took 20 minutes for my presentation. I felt satisfactory about my performance. Today an irritating incident confronted me. I borrowed my classmate’s bicycle to attend a work. When returning after finishing that work, I brought another’s bicycle in a hurry. This event disturbed me much. By the grace of God, I could get back his bicycle soon. Night spent casually. Went to sleep by 9:00.
18 October (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:00. Attended the classes by 11:10. Today P Sailaja discussed ‘stress’ in sentences. This morning I sent a letter and a demand draft for 100 rupees to the H.M.E. Institute in Ludhiana requesting its principal to send me an application form and prospectus for the course by the International Air Ticketing Foundation. I saw an advertisement on this in the recent issue of Employment News. May God bless me. It is correspondence course. Montreal, Canada, approved this course. They conduct these examinations through their local Air India centers. Spent rest of the day casually. Evening it was raw. I enjoyed it. Went to sleep by 9:30.
19 October (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:00. Morning attended the two scheduled classes. Spent rest of the day casually. My thought follows, “Now there is a tremendous increase in the volume of dissemination of knowledge among the people of the world. Even postgraduates lost their charm in the society. Only computer education is attracting today’s youth. The demerit of a highly developed educational system of a nation is that people from villages and poor education levels can’t compete with the city dwellers because the prior have fewer facilities to improve themselves in comparison to the latter. So, villagers can’t lead satisfactory lives. They suffer from inferiority complex. Thus their relative backwardness in knowledge sectors and the related employment market will be the root cause for their victimization. We find rich and privileged ones in such employment sectors, which require minimum manual work. The hard-working in the industries and agricultural farms earn very little. They remain poor forever. Thus we find injustice in the very policies and structures of civilized human societies”. Went to sleep by 9:30.
20 October (Friday)
Woke up by 6:00. Attended the classes by 9:20. Murali Manohar discussed the selected (in our course) poems of Sarojini Naidu and Nissim Ezekiel. Spent rest of the day casually. The name of my Lord Gopal follows, “Krishna, Krishna, Krishna, Krishna, Krishna, Krishna, Krishna, Krishna. Gopala, Gopala, Gopala, Gopala, Gopala, Gopala, Gopala, Gopala. Madhava, Madhava, Madhava, Madhava, Madhava, Madhava, Madhava, Madhava. Govinda, Govinda, Govinda, Govinda, Govinda, Govinda, Govinda, Govinda. Narayana, Narayana, Narayana, Narayana, Narayana, Narayana, Narayana, Narayana. Madhusudhana, Madhusudhana, Madhusudhana, Madhusudhana, Madhusudhana, Madhusudhana, Madhusudhana, Madhusudhana. Govardana Giridhari, Govardana Giridhari, Govardana Giridhari, Govardana Giridhari, Govardana Giridhari, Govardana Giridhari, Govardana Giridhari, Govardana Giridhari. Went to sleep by 9:30.
21 October (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:00. All the day stayed within the hostel and spent casually. My thought follows, “I wonder about the necessity of pursuing any literature. Literature is mainly about human psychologies expressed in various forms of creative writing. It is essentially related to philosophy and ethics. There is conscience in every man and woman. It always directs individuals toward virtuous. When one fails to obey and follow those ideals dictated by one’s conscience, there won’t be any use of studying literature. God is in us. Our mission should be toward finding Him by our efforts. When we are spiritually tuned well, other things of life get set right automatically. Literature is a scholarly game meant for the leisurely”. Went to sleep by 9:30.
22 October (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:00. Spent most of my time within the hostel. Did nothing noteworthy. Eating, drinking and sleeping went on. My prayer to Goddess Saraswati, Saraswati Namasthubhyam Varade Kamarupini Vidhyarambam Karishyami Siddhir Bavathume Sadha. Save me my Mother Saraswati! Save me my Mother Saraswati! Save me my Mother Saraswati! Save me my Mother Saraswati! Save me my Mother Saraswati! Save me my Mother Saraswati! Save me my Mother Saraswati! Save me my Mother Saraswati! Save me my Mother Saraswati! Save me my Mother Saraswati! Save me my Mother Saraswati! Save me my Mother Saraswati! Save me my Mother Saraswati! Save me my Mother Saraswati! Went to sleep by 9:30.
23 October (Monday)
Woke up by 6:00. Today two classes went on. My thought follows, “I often wonder at two important concepts, which are ‘leader’ and ‘slave’. We observe the notion in our nation that ‘The President of India is the first person of the country’. The poorest of the poor have no any leader to them. They don’t know who are ruling them. It is evident that an ordinary man is not concerned about the present form or nature of the government. It is selfish people that formulate rules and regulations for electing a leader to a place or a group of people. It is the same people that play nasty games for acquiring and retaining the authority associated with a powerful position. Slaves are those who crave for status of power without ethics. They victimize others for their advantages and privileges. Thus we find that wisdom yields vice and it exploits the ignorant race”. Went to sleep by 10:30.
24 October (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:00. Today one class took place. Four students presented their seminar papers in the “Indian Writing in English” class of Murali Manohar. Today I suffered from a terrible cough. Again dizziness attacked me with its evil force. Whenever I went to bed, giddiness started. If I keep my head bent to the left or right on cot, my brain gets victimized to dizziness in seconds. I am eating this and that in this university. As a result my health is getting affected. Phlegm might be the cause for all this drama of my body. May God bless me with health. May this world bless me with wisdom. Went to sleep by 9:30.
25 October (Wednesday)
Got up by 6:30. Today Murali Manohar took an extra class and discussed the poems of Kamala Das. She mainly discusses her personal life in her poetry. An ordinary Indian middle-class woman is her protagonist. She explores her instincts, pain and search for identity. She shares her real-life situations and experiences with readers through her poetry. In the second class, P Sailaja discussed ‘intonation’ in English. Came back to hostel by 1:00. Today our classmate Vijaya Krishna celebrated his birthday. He took all the available 20 students of our class to Student Center Canteen and offered lunch. This program ended by 3:00. Then he left for his hometown Vijayawada for celebrating Deepavali at home. Went to sleep by 10:30.
26 October (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:30. Today it is “Deepavali”, the Hindu festival of lamps. It is observed as a festival of happiness symbolizing the victory of virtue over evil. Our university campus did not appear different as expected by me. However, it is notable that in our midday meal (in our hostel mess) we had a sweet Boondhi Laddu to celebrate the gaiety and identity of this festival. Night I heard firecrackers bursting in some distance. Even in our Men’s Hostel “A”, some students created related sounds. I know it is Deepavali but I did not celebrate it specially. Even this day passed on like other common days in my life. I apologized to Deepavali for not observing it in a systematic and traditional manner. Went to sleep by 10:30.
27 October (Friday)
Woke up by 6:00. Attended the classes by 9:20. Today, in our class of “Indian Writing in English”, Murali Manohar discussed the novel Kanthapura of Raja Rao. A few students in our class commented that this novel is very boring. I disagreed with them. They might have thought that they are scholars in English literature and so they can feel boredom with this novel. It portrays the typical Indian village atmosphere with its caste system, tradition, superstitions, beliefs and innocence. This novel is still applicable to the present-day situation of Indian villages. I grew up in such rural atmosphere as described in this novel. I like this novel very much for this reason. Went to sleep by 9:30.
28 October (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:00. Today we don’t have classes. Spent much of my time within the hostel. Recently notification was issued for the conduct of election to the University Students Union. So, some idiots are very busy with those activities. Worthless and brainless scoundrels create and enjoy nasty environment on campus in the name of election. Egos centered on meaningless prestige matter a lot. Some students are involved in filing the nominations for this election. Some buffoons are involved in canvassing about the worth of the useless contestants to the useful voters. I hate college and university elections. It is unwanted game in campus. It is the base for these loafers to learn the art of telling quite evident and foolish lies. Went to sleep by 12:00.
29 October (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:30. Spent most of my time within the hostel casually. The name of Lord Krishna follows, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Went to sleep by 9:30.
30 October (Monday)
Got up by 6:00. Attended the classes by 9:20. In the first class, Sachidananda Mohanty discussed the essays of Francis Bacon. In the following class, P Sailaja conducted an internal assessment test. Spent rest of the day casually. I regret choosing M.A. English for my pursuit of institutional learning. A student, with his or her background of ordinary education system, can’t win the race here. Eighty percent of professors, readers and lecturers are experts in their branch of subject here. Laymen like me must struggle a lot to survive in these courses. I do not deserve to be a student of M.A. English Literature here. May Lord Gopal and Mother Saraswati guide me. Went to sleep by 9:30.
31 October (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:00. Attended the classes by 9:20. In the first class, Hoshang Merchant discussed the theme of the play The Merchant of Venice of Shakespeare. In the following class, four students presented their seminar papers. My thought follows, “The relation between literature and music is inseparable. Music is like a long river with waves in it. When the boat (literature) is left in that river, it floats (flourishes) ahead in the water. It is like a sensitive woman (literature) kissing a dreamy man (attractive waves in river) with passion. Shrewd observers can enjoy this scene if they have dreams and vision. Music (river waves) dances according to the power of literature (the weight of boat). Literature flies into a blissful world when accompanied with extraordinary melody of music”. Went to sleep by 9:30.
1 November (Wednesday)
Got up by 6:00. Went to English department by 10:30. Showed my entry of slogan and logo design to P Sailaja for her comments. This entry is meant to be sent for a contest of the Government of India. They invited entries (a slogan and a logo design) for the “Women’s Empowerment Year 2001”. She corrected some grammatical errors in my covering letter. She even suggested a small change in the design of the logo to make it effective and suitable to the content of the slogan accompanying it. With very little time to send it, I posted it today itself. It should reach Sastri Bhawan in New Delhi by the 5th of this month. Rest of the day spent casually. Went to sleep by 9:30.
2 November (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:00. Got ready and attended the classes by 9:20. In the first class, Hoshang Merchant discussed the play The Merchant of Venice of Shakespeare. In the following class, Sachidananda Mohanty talked about his way of expecting answers from us for the questions he is going to set for us in the ensuing end of semester examinations. Came back to hostel by 1:00. Today I received a letter from my uncle Varma in Gollalagunta. He wrote that his male baby has been named “Venkata Vivekananda Varma”. I liked it. Afternoon and evening spent casually. Evening spent some time talking with my classmate Vijaya Krishna. Night scanned the latest copy of Employment News. I found that no employer is interested in recruiting laymen (candidates without experience in a field of work) for any job. Went to sleep by 9:30.
3 November (Friday)
Woke up by 5:30. Attended the classes by 9:20. In today’s “Indian Writing in English” class, we discussed the novel Untouchable of Mulk Raj Anand. This novel portrays the plight of untouchables in the caste-oriented Hindu society. The privileged utilize the services of the outcasts but keep them away from the mainstream Hindu society in the matters of religion and tradition. They are looked down upon even today in villages but in cities one can’t find such practices to much extent, especially well-educated city dwellers are familiarized with broad thinking and practices of western culture. Untouchability was started when the structure of Hindu society was defined by its ancestors in the past. Went to sleep by 9:30.
4 November (Saturday)
Got up by 6:00. Today election took place in our campus for four or five positions of the “University Students Union”. Today I sent a write-up titled “My Heart … in Search of Love” to the Deccan Chronicle, English daily based at Hyderabad. It is meant for ‘Readers Write’ column of ‘Life Style’, in its Friday supplement. It presents a few relationships, experiences and values I observed and practiced in my personal life. Its main focus is on the concept of love. May God bless my first shot to a newspaper. From morning to 12:00 I did nothing which helps my present academic life. Afternoon and night did a little written work. That’s how I spent today. Went to sleep by 10:00.
5 November (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent most of my time within the hostel. My prayer to my Lord Gopal follows, Save me my Lord Gopal! Save me my Lord Gopal! Save me my Lord Gopal! Save me my Lord Gopal! Save me my Lord Gopal! Save me my Lord Gopal! Save me my Lord Gopal! Save me my Lord Gopal! Save me my Lord Gopal! Save me my Lord Gopal! Save me my Lord Gopal! Save me my Lord Gopal! Save me my Lord Gopal! Save me my Lord Gopal! Save me my Lord Gopal! Save me my Lord Gopal! Save me my Lord Gopal! Save me my Lord Gopal! Save me my Lord Gopal! Save me my Lord Gopal! Save me my Lord Gopal! Save me my Lord Gopal! I am facing difficulties in my education here. Save me my Lord Gopal! Went to sleep by 9:00.
6 November (Monday)
Woke up by 6:00. Attended the classes by 9:30. Today two classes went on. While the second class was going on, a notice came stating that today is declared as a holiday. This measure is to help the recent participants in the student election program rest peacefully. Came back to hostel by 1:00. Today I received the application form and prospectus from the H.M.E. Institute at Ludhiana in Punjab, meant for my admission into IATA course, through correspondence. The course fee is 600 rupees for six months and the examination fee is 13,050 rupees, which would be conducted by the regional centers of IATA. Being unable to afford this examination fee, I withdrew myself from applying for my admission into it. Now and then some violent activities are taking place in our university campus. Today some students staged a protest against something. Went to sleep by 9:30.
7 November (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:00. Attended the classes by 9:20. Today two classes went on. In the first class, Hoshang Merchant dealt with the play Othello of Shakespeare. In the second class, Murali Manohar presided over the session, in which four students presented their seminar papers. Came back to hostel by 12:30. Today some students boycotted their classes in protest against the violence perpetrated on Niranjan Sahoo, a contestant or an active participant in the recently held election for student union. They demanded disciplinary action against the wrongdoers. By 2:30 went to our Computer Center and spent there for three hours attending the work of getting a letter to S P Bala Subrahmanyam typed up and printed on laser printer. Came back to hostel by 5:30. Night did not do any work related to my present studies. Went to sleep by 9:30.
8 November (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the classes by 11:30. Today “The Structure of Modern English” class went on. My thought follows, “The most dominant feature of the present public administration is hypocrisy. A political leader says that he does not hesitate to sacrifice his life also for the sake of public. But, quite contrarily, in reality, he does not spend even one day, thinking or working wholeheartedly, for the cause of the poor. Mahatma Gandhi became the father of the nation because he practiced the theories and virtues he preached to others. The present political blokes feel happy to adorn the statues of great people of the past. It is interesting to note that only a leader in some field puts garland on the statue of some other leader. Those innocent people clapping at such occasions remain the same forever”. Went to sleep by 9:30.
9 November (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:00. Got ready and attended the classes by 9:20. In the first class, Hoshang Merchant discussed the play Othello of Shakespeare. In the following class, Sachidananda Mohanty conducted an internal assessment test. After the classes, went to State Bank of India, our university campus branch, and withdrew 1000 rupees. Added 100 rupees to that money and bought a demand draft for 1100 rupees, in favor of, The General Manager, India Today, New Delhi. It is my subscription for this English weekly for three years. Came back to hostel by 2:30. The total amount of money, I borrowed from my brother Srinivas, to date, is 25,000 rupees. Spent rest of the day casually. Went to sleep by 9:30.
10 November (Friday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the classes by 9:20. Today, in our class, Murali Manohar discussed the novel The Financial Expert of R K Narayan. Came back to hostel by 12:00. Evening prepared my term paper on John Bunyan’s The Pilgrim’s Progress-Book I, to submit to Sachidananda Mohanty. Night I had a blissful dream. In that, all those aspirations, centered on my love for somebody, which remained unfulfilled, have been classically woven together and presented in an artistic form of a picture on the screen of my subconscious arena. I can’t describe the impact of that dream in words. I reached the peak of enjoyment while experiencing it. I owe a lot to Lord Krishna for presenting me that dream. Went to sleep by 9:20.
11 November (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:00. Spent most of my time within the hostel. My thought follows, “Creativity and extraordinary intelligence are God’s gifts. We wonder to find some prodigies who excel in various fields at their small age. Doctors say that these things occur due to genetic factors. However, it is notable that even the children of the uneducated and the poor are thriving in the path of excellence in many fields. Creativity is a wonder within oneself, whose origin or death can’t be traced or foreseen even by the one possessing it. One’s creative art flourishes when it originates from one’s innermost caliber rather than artificial motivation. Investment is not required for creativity. Simply looking into outside and then seriously thinking inside is the ideal path to reach the heavenly abode of creativity and insights. It can be successfully understood and practiced by the dreamers of the world only”. Went to sleep by 9:30.
12 November (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:30. Spent most of my time within the hostel. My prayer to Lord Krishna follows, Guide me my Lord Gopal! Guide me my Lord Gopal! Guide me my Lord Gopal! Guide me my Lord Gopal! Guide me my Lord Gopal! Guide me my Lord Gopal! Guide me my Lord Gopal! Guide me my Lord Gopal! Guide me my Lord Gopal! Guide me my Lord Gopal1 Guide me my Lord Gopal! Guide me my Lord Gopal! Guide me my Lord Gopal! Guide me my Lord Gopal! Guide me my Lord Gopal! Guide me my Lord Gopal! Guide me my Lord Gopal! Guide me my Lord Gopal! Guide me my Lord Gopal! Went to sleep by 9:00.
13 November (Monday)
Woke up by 6:30. Got ready and attended the classes by 9:20. We did not have our scheduled first class today. In the second class, P Sailaja conducted her last internal assessment test to us. Returned to hostel by 12:30. Rest of the day spent casually. Recently I decided to join “Eenadu Journalism School”. I like to move to that branch of learning in which my creativity can be sharpened and led toward career formation and financial independence. However, my opinion is not that the pursuit of English Literature in the University of Hyderabad does not help the improvement of my life. The problem is that my nature does not suit this difficult pursuit. Let me be corrected and directed by Lord Krishna. Went to sleep by 9:30.
14 November (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the classes by 9:20. In the first class, Hoshang Merchant discussed the poem “Garden” of Andrew Marvell. In the second class, the presentation of seminar papers went on under the supervision of Murali Manohar. Today I sent an application to “Eenadu Journalism School”. The present pursuit of studies, I am going through, demands considerable proficiency in learners in English literature. It is like an ocean in which almost every nation has its share of regional water. I think I can’t feel at home in this pursuit. Perhaps this may be the reason for why I am willing to take journalism. It is a mirror of the world wherein one can clearly see the truths and lies of the world in words. I think I can prove my abilities in it. Went to sleep by 9:30.
15 November (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Got ready and attended the classes by 9:20. In the first class, Murali Manohar supervised the session of the presentation of seminar papers by five students. After that, he expressed his views about our performance in the art of presentation of seminars. He felt unhappy with some students. They simply read out the summary of the literary works they selected for their seminars. He said that a presentation should be focused on a particular dimension of the chosen literary work, which interests and engages the presenter and the listeners as well. In the following class, P Sailaja introduced stylistics. She discussed the basics of this subject. She wished us luck in the end of semester examinations because it was her last class to us in this (first) semester. Spent rest of the day casually. Went to sleep by 9:00.
A Brief Review of November
Our end-of-semester examinations ended by the end of this month. My performance in them is satisfactory to me. I wrote a letter to a girl in Chennai in response to her matrimonial ad in the English daily The Hindu. She did not reply to date. I have to wait. Soon after the first/third semester examinations, many students left for their homes to enjoy the winter holidays. Some students stayed back in their hostels even in the winter vacation. As the hostel messes remain closed during these holidays, some students are cooking food on their own in their hostel rooms.
I slowly got accustomed to the environment in the university and started finding my life bearable. I found that this university is an abode of excellence for disciplined and devoted learners. It is a complex society. Diversity is its striking phenomenon. Everything felt needed by a scholarly teacher or a hard-working learner is available here. How to use this place of knowledge and environment of beauty depends on the intellectual and aesthetic sensibilities and sensitivities of the respective people living over here.
Most of the teachers are honest and simple in their thoughts and behavior toward their students despite their scholarship and worth as professionals and persons. Even some lovers are there in this university campus. I feel envious of their happy living in this beautiful campus, which I failed to enjoy. It is obvious that this age is something that demands one to do something new, odd, eccentric and experimental to satisfy one’s burning passions and desires. Who can/why should one/how can one stop them from pursuing those romantic or libidinous acts of youth? Let them celebrate their crazy age a bit carefully and a little morally. The world has been so for long. Who can change it now?
A Brief Review of December
Our winter holidays are scheduled from the 1st of this month to the 27th of this month. I took an entrance test for admission into “Eenadu Journalism School” on the 3rd of this month in the office of the Telugu daily Eenadu at Somajiguda. I think I did well in it. I took this test to join the Telugu daily Eenadu and eventually become a reporter after the scheduled one-year training by them.
I reached my home in the morning hours of 6th of this month, traveling by Godavari Express, in third-class compartment, using the university student’s concession form. I met all my relatives. I rode Kinetic Luna (of my uncle in Tangedu) for my pleasure trips. It is the motorbike I can ride and derive joy from for the time being.
At home, my mother and my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani prepared many eatables for me during my stay there. I spent much of my time at home watching television and listening to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder.
I went to A P R School (for boys) at Peda Boddepalli, near Narsipatnam, where my cousin Narendra Varma is presently pursuing his eighth standard. I was disturbed to see the unhealthy and homesick atmosphere at this school. Students are leading pitiable lives in that atmosphere. No proper food, accommodation, supervision or education. I wrote a letter to the principal of this school asking him to improve the school environment at the earliest taking necessary corrective measures which are within his reach.
Went to Visakhapatnam along with D Gangadhara Rao, one of my college friends (from Kothuru) to help him in his army selection process on the 28th of this month. Some middlemen cheated him there. I wrote a letter to a colonel in Secunderabad asking him to probe into the corruption prevalent at Visakhapatnam Branch Recruitment Office and do justice to my friend. I bought a passport application form for me at the office of Ministry of External Affairs in Visakhapatnam. I left for Hyderabad on the evening hours of 30th of this month from Narsipatnam Road railway station by Godavari Express. I celebrated the eve of the New Year (2001) Day happily in the university campus.
A Brief Review of Year 2000
I passed my B.A. in first class. I got place in the University of Hyderabad to pursue M.A. English. My number in the first list of the open competition is 19. It’s my luck to enter this good university but I am not good at English literature. Since I studied in Telugu medium schools and colleges for 15 years, I find it difficult to cope with this course of studies. Family upbringing and the surroundings would have an impact on the evolution of a student’s outlook and understanding of the world around him. I am not advantaged in this respect. Lord Krishna has been the honorary director of my innocent and disturbed life. I owe a lot to Him. I am at His mercy and command.
My effort to enter “Eenadu Journalism School” in Hyderabad is considerable in the events of this year. I did it to earn some money and look after myself. I need possessive care and love of a girl in the form of my sweetheart or wife. I don’t know when it gets realized. God knows well how to guide me.
My familiar creature Lakshmi entered my dreams now and then to remind me that she is classic and beautiful in body and spirit. This is the Silver Jubilee Year of my life. By and large I found this year happy and successful in my life.
My farewell to my dear year 2000!
© 2011 Datla Chiranjeevi Raju
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