1 January (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:00. Today it is New Year’s Day but I did not observe it specially. I did not welcome New Year staying late night like some of my friends over here in the campus. There were many programs last night to welcome New Year in the twin cities. I did not attend any one of them. Man created all these scheduled boundaries of time for his convenience. Time does not consider anyone. Everybody has to conform to it. I salute such eternal time, which guides mortal lives of earthly beings. I pray Mother Saraswati for Her blessings to me in education. I remain grateful to Lord Gopal for His honorary direction of my life. Let New Year lead me from complacency to liveliness, from theory to practice of values and toward living up to my ideals and principles. With these thoughts and hopes, I dedicate this New Year to God. Went to sleep by 11:00.
2 January (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:00. It is cold outside these days. Weather turned very cold due to silent winter winds. I came into the campus in time. It created a bit of inconvenience to me. The considerable problem over here because of returning soon to the hostel after vacation for attending the scheduled classes would be of food facilities. They don’t reopen hostel messes until a satisfactory number of students come to hostels after vacation. Consequently one has to depend on other hostel messes until one’s is reopened. I am going to Research Scholars’ Hostel, Men’s Hostel “C” and Men’s Hostel “F” to have my food. Afternoon went to State Bank of India and deposited 5000 rupees into my savings account. Paid hostel mess bill (this time it came to 700 rupees) of the last month. I brought a good amount of homemade sweets from our village. I want to offer some of them to our Reader P Sailaja. She is not still coming to our department. Winter is greatly affecting me in the campus. It makes me feel solitary. Went to sleep by 11:00.
3 January (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:00. Morning washed my clothes before taking bath with hot water. Maintenance of skin beauty is a big problem for youth in their life of emotions and passions. One has to take much care to keep up the glow of one’s skin. I did not attend it previously but I feel that one should initiate such measures right from one’s early childhood. Physical beauty is a God’s gift. Skin is an important element of overall beauty of human body. I am using Rexona sandalwood soap now. It does not suit me in winter. I need to buy some other soap, which contains glycerin and moisturizing effect to face this biting cold in Hyderabad. Morning attended the class of Professor Mohan G Ramanan. He discussed the course outline on R K Narayan (one of the three optional courses I chose) and his scheme of the internal assessment and end-of-semester examinations. He took the class for one hour only. Spent rest of the day casually. Listened to Telugu cine songs on Walkman for some time. Went to sleep by 10:30.
4 January (Friday)
Woke up by 6:00. Had my breakfast of three idlies at Student Center Canteen and proceeded to our department. We took our seats in the allotted room for the introductory class of Reader Syed Mujeebuddin. He deals with the course “The ‘double’ in Colonial and Postcolonial Literature-Nations and Narratives” (one of the three optional courses I chose). We are only eight students in his course. Only half of them attended today. He initiated a critical talk on the individual terms of the name of the course. He took this class for the scheduled two hours. Had my lunch at Men’s Hostel “F”. By 2:30 left, along with my classmate Colin Leslie Kelman, on his Enfield bike, for his rented portion at Banjara Hills. Evening we attended the program of “The Festival of Andhra Pradesh” at People’s Plaza by Necklace Road at Hussain Sagar. This series of cultural events goes on for eight days. From 7:00 to 9:30 watched a Kuchipudi dance recital depicting the glory of the literary achievements of the state of Andhra Pradesh, a vocal concert by M Bala Murali Krishna and a Mohana Veena concert by Pandit Vishwa Mohan Bhatt and his son. We had our supper at hotel “Chutneys” by 10:15. Went to sleep by 11:30.
5 January (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:30 in the rented portion of Colin Leslie Kelman, my classmate and a good friend of mine. He came from Bangalore to pursue his studies in the University of Hyderabad. He is an Anglo-Indian with considerable command of English language and British literature. He is a dynamic youth with refined manners and goals in mind. He is a good friend to all of my classmates. He does not show up his richness to ridicule the poor. However, he has a little contempt for the Indian values and culture. He dropped me on his bike at Mehdipatnam by 8:00. Thence I took an auto rickshaw and reached our campus by 8:30. Had my breakfast of four purees at the small hotel in Shopping Complex. Read a set text on English Language Teaching (ELT) for two hours. Afternoon and evening I cooked rice and egg curry for me in the Room No. 108 of my hostel mates Ramesh, Yoganand and Vijaya Krishna. Cooking for oneself in one’s bachelor life does not seem to be thrilling or enjoyable but it promotes self-reliance in cooking to some extent. Night watched television in our hostel room for some time. Went to sleep by 11:00.
6 January (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:30. It was cool outside. The temperature in the twin cities dropped to 130 Celsius. By 7:30 took a bath with hot water. We have good facilities in our hostel. We are enjoying them. By 8:00 my roommate Samanta Sahu came from Orissa. He brought his brother and his friend along with him. He wants to show them our university and the twin cities. Had my breakfast at Shopping Complex by 9:30. Thence went out and took a bus for the city. I went to the city to buy used books on footpaths. I found two books over there but I did not buy them. Stood near Potti Sreeramulu Telugu University for two hours waiting for 216 or 217 route buses. Two buses left without stopping there. I felt very tired and cursed the bus drivers silently. It was cloudy and pleasant. Took two auto rickshaws and reached our campus by 2:30. Afternoon and night prepared food for me. Night watched television for some time. Went to sleep by 11:00.
7 January (Monday)
Woke up by 6:30. Morning washed a pair of clothes and took them up to dry them in the open air but it was cold and damp outside. It started drizzling in a short while and so I brought my clothes back to our room. Had my breakfast of two idlies with saambaar (a famous South Indian soup used with rice and some breakfast items) at Student Center Canteen and proceeded to our department. Professor Alladi Uma took the class and resumed her talk on why and how she framed the texts of her/our course on “Literary Criticism” for us (it is a compulsory course for all of us in the fourth semester and it is the only class in which all of us classmates sit together). She explained the rationale of her internal assessment tests to us. She said that she worked out a compact course for this short semester. Afterwards attended the class of Syed Mujeebuddin. He discussed the basic objectives of English Language Teaching in India, a country of overpopulation and multilingual backgrounds, where teaching and learning English becomes very problematic. It was very cold and cloudy outside. Night it rained heavily for half an hour. Evening cooked rice and onion curry for me. Went to sleep by 10:30.
8 January (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Morning had my breakfast with the preserved rice of last night adding curd brought from a shop at the NTS (Non Teaching Staff) quarters. Those days people ate this kind of food and avoided the threat of gastric ulcers. These days many consider such food habits outdated and unfashionable. Morning read the novel Swamy and Friends of R K Narayan. It is the first core text in Mohan Ramanan’s course for us. It is an interesting novel. It explores the psychology and world of small children. By 10:30 left for the class. Mohan Ramanan resumed his discussion on his plan of conduct of the course to us. He said that this course aims at pleasure of reading Narayan’s works, cultivating scholarly perception and improving compositional skills. He shared his personal experiences with the places where R K Narayan spent a few stages of his life in Madras and Mysore. He regretted his not meeting him personally (R K Narayan has recently passed away). Afternoon went to our Administrative Block to enquire about some things related to the fee structure of our fourth semester. Thence proceeded to State Bank of India and paid the fees. Went to sleep by 10:30.
9 January (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Had my breakfast of two idlies with saambaar at Student Center Canteen and proceeded to our department. Knew that our Reader P Sailaja would not take her class today. Everybody felt relieved and moved to his or her favorite places. I came back to our Men’s Hostel “A”, Room No. 106, and placed my body and soul on the iron cot provided by the university. Finished reading the novel Swamy and Friends of R K Narayan. Actually this writer’s name is Narayana Swamy. Afterwards he avoided using the word “Swamy” in his name for his easy (for the readers to remember his short and easily pronounceable name) literary recognition in the world of writing on the advice of Graham Greene, his European friend and mentor. Afternoon tried to write the synopsis of the aforesaid novel for my preparation during exams but I found it time-consuming. My friend P Ramu Naidu came by 7:00 at night. He came to Hyderabad from Vizianagaram to admit his father (who is suffering from lung cancer) into a hospital. I gave him a packet of Britannia Tiger biscuits to take for his father. Took him to our university main gate on my bicycle and saw him off. Went to sleep by 10:30.
10 January (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:30. Morning washed a pair of clothes. Had my breakfast at Student Center Canteen. Attended the class of Mohan Ramanan on the novel Swamy and Friends of R K Narayan. After this class, went to central library to keep a few novels of R K Narayan in the reserved section for their exclusive use by the students of our class pursuing this semester course on R K Narayan. I accompanied our Professor Mohan G Ramanan to help him a bit in this activity. This afternoon our hostel mess was reopened after winter vacation. This afternoon I took the letter, which I wrote to send to S P Bala Subrahmanyam, to our Reader P Sailaja for editing. She corrected errors in this letter. She said that I should rectify my way of English usage to a great extent. By 2:30 went to State Bank of India and withdrew 1000 rupees for lending it to my friend. By 4:30 started to Serilingampally on my bicycle with the revised version of my letter to S P Bala Subrahmanyam inviting him to our campus to present his program of film songs for us. Got this and my previous letter to Nupur Jain laser printed at a computer center spending 50 rupees. Came back to hostel by 7:00. Night my friend Ramu Naidu spent in our hostel. Night listened to Telugu cine songs for some time. Went to sleep by 11:00.
11 January (Friday)
Woke up by 6:30. My friend Ramu Naidu had his breakfast in our hostel mess by 7:30. Dropped him at our university main gate on my bicycle by 7:45. Had my breakfast of two idlies with saambaar at Student Center Canteen and reached our department by 9:00. Syed Mujeebuddin took his class and was discussing the concept of “double” in fiction. Meanwhile a notice came stating that the classes should be suspended in view of the strike started by the staff of the University Administrative Block protesting against the recent misbehavior of Ambedkar Student Union against Chief Warden. These dalit student unions always create some kind of unrest on the campus. Afternoon lent 3000 rupees to my friend Ramu Naidu. Evening went to Serilingampally on my bicycle to get one of my scripts in Telugu laser printed at a computer center. The title of this script is, “Cine Geeta Raani–Aakaasavani-Jana Vaahini: O Thriveni Sangamam”. It was previously sent to Hyderabad radio station. It was broadcast. Bhayya (it is the familiar name of K Srinivasa Rao on our campus) and I came back to hostel by 7:30. Night listened to Telugu cine songs for some time. Went to sleep by 9:30.
12 January (Saturday)
Woke up by 7:00. Ironed my clothes till 8:30. When scanning today’s newspaper I saw a contest of the ‘Fa’ brand. Cut the advertisement part of the paper, filled in it, enveloped it, went to our post office, stamped it and posted it. Thence proceeded to State Bank of India and withdrew 500 rupees from my savings account. Kept 200 rupees with me for paying the hostel room rent for this semester and the rest was meant for lending to my friend Ramu Naidu. He came by 1:00. He introduced himself to me when I attended an essay writing competition at Andhra University in 1998 (in which he too participated). Thereafter we became and remained good friends. Presently he is in acute need of money to spend for his father’s cancer treatment in the city at ESI Hospital. By 3:00 started to Serilingampally on my bicycle for getting the photos of my admired girl Pramodini printed. I secretly collected the negatives of the photos of this girl from the shelves of my classmate Vijaya Krishna in his hostel room recently. I got two of her photos printed at Reddy’s Color Lab. One is in her devout pose of sitting and worshipping God folding her hands in a traditional dress and the second one is being flanked between her paternal grandmother and housemaid in the garden at their house in Vijayawada. It is for the records section of my life of memories. Returned to hostel by 6:00. Kept the negatives carefully in their original place belonging to my classmate Vijaya Krishna. Night listened to Telugu cine songs for some time. Went to sleep by 10:00.
13 January (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:30. Today it is the Hindu festival “Bhogi”, which has to be celebrated with bonfire. I did not observe it. It is common that students in educational institutions can’t celebrate these festivals in their true spirit. By 8:30 my roommate Ravi Kanchan Chatterjee returned from his short tour. He recently went (along with some other participants from our university) to the Mangalore University to participate in the Annual Inter-university Youth Festival there. Nobody in the contingent of 25 participants from our university got any prize. Our university spent 28,000 rupees for their participation in this event. I heard that the participants from the universities in Kerala carried away most of the prizes. Also heard that they would have practiced for months together to get maximum number of prizes in this event. Afternoon special food items were served in our hostel mess. Evening I was photographed alone and along with my friends with the small camera of our common friend Ramesh. Night we had delicious supper in our hostel mess. To celebrate this auspicious day, I too spent watching television in our hostel room along with our hostel mates. Today I watched the Telugu feature films “Tholi Prema” and “Chitram”. Also I noted down the three questions of the contest presented during the telecast of the film “Chitram” on Eenadu television channel. Went to sleep by 12:00.
14 January (Monday)
Woke up by 6:30. Naturally (because it was Bhogi yesterday) today it is Sankranti. It does not make any difference for me. Morning called up my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani at Mallavaram. They are doing well. Spent all my time within the university campus. The city police are patrolling in our campus to maintain law and order in view of the recently occurred untoward incidents. Recently the activists of Ambedkar Student Union beat our chief warden in his office and smashed the computer in his room. Actually there is no tension now in relation to that incident. They decided to rusticate the guilty students in this incident. The victims are opposing this action of the university against them. Morning I was photographed twice in my casual wear (a shirt and a lungi). By 10:00 my classmate Colin came to our hostel. Viswa Prasad too joined us. We spent talking for some time about the general things of the present society and its trends. He had his lunch along with us in our hostel mess. By 3:00 my friend Ramu Naidu came from the city. We talked bout this and that for some time. We strolled along the road to Sports Complex at dusk. It’s fantastic to feel such wonderful evenings in the campus. Night my friend left for the city to attend his father in hospital. Night watched television for some time. Went to sleep by 11:00.
15 January (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Today it is Kanuma festival. Morning went to our post office and posted a competition postcard to Eenadu Television channel. It was to participate in the contest based on its recent telecast of the Telugu feature film “Chitram”. By 11:30 attended the class of Mohan Ramanan. He shared his childhood experiences with us while discussing the novel Swamy and Friends of R K Narayan. Afternoon went to State Bank of India and paid the fee of 200 rupees toward the hostel room rent for this semester. Submitted the triplicate at student section in the Administrative Block. Colin came to our hostel. We spent talking for some time. By 6:30 my friend Ramesh brought the photos from the city. Only one photo of mine came well. I like to be photographed many times. Not that I am much handsome but that the moments of any stage of life are precious. So, they must be stored in their physical form. It can be done by photographs. Now everybody wants to own a camera because they are widely available in the market now at low prices with attractive gifts and prizes. My camera too works well. Night ironed my clothes. Did reading for some time. Watched television for some time. Went to sleep by 10:30.
16 January (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the classes by 9:20. Reader P Sailaja discussed the components of English Language Teaching (one of the three optional courses I chose) in India. The major drawback in the Indian education system is that there is no difference between language teaching and literature teaching. The literature courses have to deal with language teaching also simultaneously. This is why many Indians remain poor at English grammar and pronunciation though they assume great positions. The fact is that literature and language are two different branches of study altogether. They must be attended that way. But, in India, we don’t find this atmosphere. By 11:00 left for Hotel Taj Banjara in the city to bring Bruce Bennett, a literary critic from Australia, who has to present a guest lecture on “Issues in Australian Cultures” in our department today. I went there in a taxi hired by our department along with Sirisha (presently pursuing her M.Phil. course in our department), the sister of my classmate Neelima. We brought him to our department by 12:30. Afternoon read a book on critical appreciation of the novels of R K Narayan. It is difficult to assess the worth of great writers like R K Narayan. Critical works written by erudite people on other great people can help amateur readers like me have a minute understanding of such distinguished writers. Night too read the same book till 9:30. Then went to the room of Ramesh where a few blokes of my familiarity were talking about youth affairs. Had a small glass of hot milk at the small stall being run by a boy at night in our hostel. Felt a bit dizzy. Went to sleep by 10:30.
17 January (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:30. Got ready and attended the classes by 9:20. Mohan Ramanan resumed his discussion on the novel Swamy and Friends of R K Narayan. By 11:00, Bruce Bennett, the Australian literary critic, came to our class and discussed the topic “Issues in Australian Cultures”. Afternoon spent talking with my friends in the room of Ramesh. My classmate Colin too participated in this discussion. Evening went to Shopping Complex and did a bit of shopping. Cold is still blowing against the sensitive lives of the campus dwellers. Around 6:30 I saw a snippet in the Telugu film weekly Sitara in somebody’s hands. I wanted to get a copy of it for me. I asked many if they were going outside so that one could get that weekly for me from the market. Rushed to central library to find it out. I made a thorough search for it. It took one hour for me to get it. I wanted to read a little report on a Telugu feature film in which my friend too played a small role. To my dissatisfaction, I could not find even a little mention of her name in that Telugu film coverage news. Came back to hostel by 7:30. Night some of my classmates gathered in our hostel room. They asked me to show them my previous writings. They read some of my emotional letters to a few people. They made fun of me. We enjoyed it. Went to sleep by 11:00.
18 January (Friday)
Woke up by 6:30. Morning washed a pair of clothes. Attended the classes by 9:20. Syed Mujeebuddin took his class and resumed his discussion on the theme of the ‘double’ in colonial and postcolonial fiction. Today this class went on for 150 minutes. Talked with my classmates for some time and returned to hostel. Knew that there was an auction of second-hand typewriters and computers in our campus. I too went to the venue (near the distance education department in our university) to observe those proceedings. Bhayya, Viswa Prasad, Vijaya Krishna and I were there. We were disgusted with the auction process of the typewriters when it was going on at an increase rate ranging from 10 rupees to 50 rupees. Then we moved to the auction place of the computers. They encouraged me to buy one for me. Consequently I took a Takai color monitor and keyboard for 1050 rupees. There was no competition at all from other bidders for this piece. Vijaya Krishna and Bhayya helped me get a good computer at such price. We carefully brought it to my hostel room. Evening my classmate Vijaya Krishna talked with me for two hours about their ancestral family riches and the subsequent fall in their financial status. I was depressed to hear it. Night too we talked for a long time in his room. Went to sleep by 12:00.
19 January (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:30. Today I have to repay 1000 rupees to the boy that lent me yesterday to buy the computer on auction. So, I spent most of my time being engaged in the task of collecting that amount of money from my familiar ones. Went to Men’s Hostel “D” to borrow from my classmates staying in it. They told that they are helpless. Thence moved to “H” wing in the Research Scholars Hostel. Our Mongolian classmate Batbold is staying in a room there. His girlfriend Batzaya (she is also a Mongolian girl and our classmate) and my classmate Kiran Prasad were also there in his room by that time. We spent talking for two hours. Then Batbold and I went to State Bank of India. He withdrew money from his account and lent me 1000 rupees. Then we went to the room of our classmate Emanuel to see the color photos, which were recently shot during our small expedition in the forest in our campus in the moonlit night. Afternoon rested on my cot for two hours. Evening my friend Ramu Naidu came from the city. Doctors said that his father is at the verge of death and it is all a matter of a few days. He had his supper in our hostel. By 7:00 Vijaya Krishna, Kiran Prasad, Shiv Narayan Mishra and I started a short walk along the road toward the post office. Night we had a little talk about general things in the hostel room of Vijaya Krishna. Went to bed by 10:30.
20 January (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:30. Spent all my time within the campus. Read the novel The English Teacher of R K Narayan throughout the day. The name of my Lord Krishna follows, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Night spent talking with my friends for some time. Went to sleep by 11:30.
21 January (Monday)
Woke up by 6:30. Morning washed a pair of clothes and treated them in blue. Took a bath and went to our dining hall to have my breakfast of two dosas. Attended the class of Alladi Uma on “Literary Criticism and Theory”. In the following class, Syed Mujeebuddin discussed the theme of the ‘double’ in colonial and postcolonial fiction. After these classes, met our Professor Mohan G Ramanan and collected the postal address of S P Bala Subrahmanyam (his Madras address). I have to send my letter of invitation to him to come to our campus and present a great evening of cine songs for us. Afternoon went to our post office and posted that letter. By 2:20 attended the class of Pingali Sailaja on ELT. She discussed the three components of teaching: presentation, practice and testing. After this class, moved to Student Center Canteen and had a cup of tea along with my classmates. Evening called up my cousin Kiran at Manjeera Boys Hostel in Kachiguda and advised him to move to Kshatriya Seva Samithi Hostel at DD Colony. Also telephoned my brother Samba and sister-in-law Kranti at our home. Night spent casually. Went to sleep by 10:30.
22 January (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the class of Mohan Ramanan by 11:20. He continued his discussion on the novel Swamy and Friends of R K Narayan comparing it with his autobiographical work My Days. Came back to hostel by 1:00 and had my lunch. Took a siesta for two hours. Today municipal elections took place in the city. By 5:00 started to Serilingampally along with my friends Veeranjaneyulu and Srinivasa Rao. We went there for shopping. First we went to Deepthisri Nagar to meet a friend of Veeranjaneyulu. Went into Sai Krupa Apartment Block and met the roommate of his friend. He was contacted over cellular phone. I wondered to find that a good three bed room flat is available at a monthly rent of 1300 rupees. Thence we came back to Serilingampally. Veeranjaneyulu bought something at a cloth store of high prices. I wanted to buy a local made Walkman and tape recorder but we could not find good ones. So, I withdrew from that pursuit. Then we went to a point of sale of export rejected ready-made garments. I too bought a few items there. They are sold based on their weight in grams. Further I got the cuffs of my ready-made pair of trousers (which I previously bought from Kumar Shirts showroom in Ameerpet) cut and shortened at the shop of a tailor to make them suit my height. We returned to campus by 9:45. Had my supper by 10:15. Went to sleep by 12:00.
23 January (Wednesday)
Woke up by 7:00. Got ready and went to our department by 9:20. Pingali Sailaja took her class and taught the methods of grammar–translation and direct movement. Came back to hostel by 11:20. Afternoon my classmates Colin, Shiv Narayan Mishra and Emanuel came to the hostel room of Vijaya Krishna. I too joined them. We spent talking for some time. Evening Kiran Prasad (he is from Mysore) lent me some novels of R K Narayan. I started reading our core text The English Teacher. I read it to the extent of 20 pages and found it very interesting. This novel presents the autobiographical events of R K Narayan. It makes this novel more interesting because he is not only a typical South Indian Brahmin with traditional values but also one of the great writers of trinity (the other two being Mulk Raj Anand and Raja Rao) in India. Evening went to Shopping Complex along with my friends. We spent there for a few minutes amid the common gathering of the guys and girls of the campus. Night ironed my clothes for ten minutes. After that we bought and brought a small amount of peanuts from a shop at the NTS quarters and roasted them in a pan in our room. We ate them to our heart’s content. Ramesh offered us some homemade eatables. Vijaya Krishna and I enjoyed this work. Went to sleep by 11:00.
24 January (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:30. Morning washed a pair of clothes, applied blue to the white shirt and the white vest, and took them up to put them on the clothesline for drying up in the open air. Left for our department by 9:00. Mohan Ramanan concluded his discussion on the novel Swamy and Friends of R K Narayan reading out some paragraphs from it. By today our study on R K Narayan’s first novel came to an end. In the following class, Alladi Uma explained some elements of the essay “The Art of the People” of William Morris and initiated our discussion. Afternoon started reading R K Narayan’s second novel The English Teacher, a core text in our course, from the point where I stopped earlier. But I felt lethargic and dozed off. Meanwhile my classmate and hostel mate Viswa Prasad came and awoke me from my sleepiness. We started to Serilingampally. Every Thursday, commercial outlets in Serilingampally and Ramachandra Puram remain closed because it is a day of weekly off in these places. So, I went to an electrical shop at Ashok Nagar and got my iron repaired. Came back to hostel by 6:00. Ironed a pair of clothes before my supper. Read the novel The English Teacher of R K Narayan for some time. Went to sleep by 11:00.
25 January (Friday)
Woke up by 7:00. Today I rose a bit late because a seriously involving dream of a beloved girl extended my course of sleep. Attended the classes by 9:20. Syed Mujeebuddin took his class and resumed his talk on the interpersonal relationships of the characters in a drama. He told Deepa Raj to start the discussion. We continued it till 11:35 quoting lines from the text now and then. Came back to hostel by 12:00 and thence proceeded to Administrative Block to get a bona fide certificate from the academic wing. Afternoon wrote ten pages of letter to my teacher uncle Venkata Rama Raju in Jaggampeta. Left for Serilingampally by 4:30 in an auto rickshaw. Thence proceeded to the B.H.E.L. Bus Stop to submit money and application form for the issuance of a suburban monthly student concessionary bus pass for me. Came back to hostel by 6:00. Read the novel The English Teacher of R K Narayan for some time. By 8:30 telephoned home and talked with my mother, nephew Sujan and cousin Narendra Varma. They are all doing well. By 10:10 called up Pramodini and enquired about her well-being. Went to sleep by 11:00.
26 January (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:30. Today it is the 53rd Republic Day of India. Morning read the novel The English Teacher of R K Narayan till 10:00. Then went to Professor Gurbaksh Singh Maidan to watch the celebration of the event. The vice chancellor delivered a speech for three minutes. A few solo and group patriotic songs followed it. By 10:45 the attendees dispersed to receive the packets of sweets at the exit. Out of 2000 students staying in campus, only 200 attended this event. This shows the alertness and loyalty of these supposed great young patriots for the common cause of the nation. Had it been a nonsensical Disc Jockey event at open air auditorium, 80% of these rogues would have gathered enthusiastically to celebrate their spirit of madness and modern culture. Oh, my great India! I pity your state of affairs. These unhealthy trends of modern youth and their impudence are shattering the so-called notion of national integrity and fraternity. Afternoon went to the office of Kshatriya Seva Samithi at New Nallakunta and met the clerk Jagannadha Raju. Discussed our community related matters and other issues with him for three hours. Took a copy of its recently published souvenir and a general membership form. On the way back, went to meet my cousin Kiran at Manjeera Boys Hostel in Kachiguda. Knew that he had left for his college. Returned to our hostel by 9:30. Went to sleep by 12:10.
27 January (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:30. From 9:00 to 2:30 read the novel The English Teacher of R K Narayan. It deeply touched me. I liked it a lot. The typical south Indian way of life can be found in it. His wife did not live longer after their marriage. He did not know how to console his little daughter at that tender age. He could not bear the death of his wife. He developed a telepathic relationship with his wife. He led a tragic life after the death of his wife. This novel presents the intense pain underwent by the author during this time. All face difficult situations in their lives. Some can record it and some can’t. If birth is a question, death is its answer. Went to sleep by 12:00.
28 January (Monday)
Woke up by 6:30. Morning washed a pair of clothes. Went to our department by 9:20. In the first class, Alladi Uma gave us a critical piece of text and told us to comment on it after reading and understanding it. She encourages the development of questions from the given things. It often puzzles me. Our parents and God give the birth and the death to us without consulting us. Our rational questioning of today can’t resolve these inevitable ironies of our lives. In the following class, Syed Mujeebuddin initiated discussion on the colonial shades of the drama The Tempest of William Shakespeare. He always runs out of time in leaving our class. The colonizer left us long ago but the debate on the colonial influences has not left us yet. We seem to be complicating our lives some way. Afternoon Pingali Sailaja discussed the teaching methods of English language. She teaches well but my poor brain can’t digest such standard substance of subject. Consequently my answer papers look misguiding to instructors. Students with weak memory are a challenge to the education system and its sphere of marks. Evening went to an eatery at the NTS quarters and had some snacks along with my classmates. Went to sleep by 10:40.
29 January (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the classes by 11:20. Mohan Ramanan continued his discussion on the autobiographical elements in the novel The English Teacher of R K Narayan. He simultaneously read out parts of the biography of R K Narayan, written by Susan Ram, in which they wrote about the autobiographical and literary facets of the writer till 1945, the year of publication of the novel The English Teacher. He also read out a few passages from that book which show the impact of Graham Greene in getting R K Narayan’s works published and thus in establishing him as a noted Indian writer. After that he told us to write a paragraph of about 500 words to be evaluated by him meant for the enhancement of our proficiency in English grammar. Afternoon took my merit-cum-means scholarship application form from our department to get it signed by deputy warden in our hostel mess. By 2:30 started along with my artist friend Veeranjaneyulu to their recently shifted campus department for photographing his sketches. From 4:00 to 10:00 read The Grandmother’s Tale of R K Narayan. I found it very interesting. I should be grateful to our Professor Mohan G Ramanan for offering us such a marvelous course on R K Narayan. This writer knows well how to hypnotize his readers with the magic of his gripping stories. Went to sleep by 11:00.
30 January (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the classes by 9:20. Pingali Sailaja took her class and discussed the methods of teaching English. Afternoon went to the department of fine arts and spent a few minutes scanning the beautiful paintings created by my friend Veeranjaneyulu. He is a talented artist. He can skillfully deal with the realistic beauty of nature, mythological figures and individuals. He is 33 and unmarried. He is strong and handsome. He earns a lot of money through his paintings and spends much of it lavishly. He is a man of appreciable character. He is one of my best friends. Evening started to Bagh Lingampally along with my friends to attend a Christian marriage. On the way I got an application laser printed at a computer center to send to Madras requesting them for the position of Trainee Territory Manager. Actually this application is meant for testing the attitude of recruiting agencies. We reached the “A.P.S.R.T.C. Kalyana Mantapam”, the venue of marriage, by 7:30. I could not bear the abundance of Christians at the venue. In attitude and behavior I am a secularist but in the depths of my heart I am a mainstream Hindu. I cannot imagine myself beyond Hinduism. We came back to hostel by 10:30. Went to sleep by 11:30.
31 January (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the classes by 9:20. Mohan G Ramanan discussed the background of R K Narayan’s relation with Graham Greene and the subsequent publication of many of the early novels of the prior with the help and encouragement extended by the latter. In the following class, Alladi Uma discussed some themes related to literary criticism. Today she became very disgusted with us to find that our class is not responding well when she asked us to choose some seminar topics. I too felt very frustrated with the behavior of my classmates. She provided us with the course texts in a bound form. She gave us enough time and freedom to choose our topics from the set texts. I think we don’t deserve the freedom given by her. Afternoon took a siesta for some time. By 3:30 went to Peacock Lake beyond the V.C. Guesthouse along with my friend Veeranjaneyulu. He wants to shoot a few scenic locations over there with his camera. I found the evening very inviting in those cool surroundings decorated with green grass and white cranes. We went to Serilingampally by 6:30 to get those negatives of the photos printed. Night we friends had a casual talk in our hostel. Went to sleep by 11:30.
1 February (Friday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the classes by 9:20. Syed Mujeebuddin continued his discussion on the drama The Tempest of Shakespeare. Recently our department has put up a notice inviting applications for the Linda Dittmer Scholarship. Only the students of fourth semester in English department are eligible to apply for it. Students receiving other kinds of scholarships would not be considered if economically poor ones apply. I wanted to utilize this opportunity. Really I am not that poor to helplessly wait for their kind consideration. Seventy percent of my classmates are well-to-do ones and so they don’t need this financial assistance from our department. At this juncture, what happens if nobody applies for that scholarship? In a way it is humiliating the noble purpose of the founder of this scholarship. The reality is that everybody needs money despite having plenty of money. The formal procedures like filling in the application form, attaching the latest income certificate and such other things seem to be boring and trivial acts to my classmates. One has to try a bit to get some resources. I went half way to get this scholarship. Money is a universal need. A university student has to take note of it. Went to bed by 12:30.
2 February (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:30. All the day spent within the campus. Morning attended the work of sending a contest form to New Delhi. Four Square cigarette company announced it. I collected two empty cases of Four Square premium brand from a nearby shop and attached their flip tops to my entry. Wrote a slogan, filled in the contest form and posted it. I have this habit of participating in contests for the last three years. Whether we win it or not remains unimportant but we feel a sense of belongingness to the society. These days conducting contests has become a big game for almost all the business houses. After the advent of modern technology, the output of production units reached spectacular heights, which eventually requires proportional sales. Conducting contests helps entrepreneurs attract their target customers. Some dedicated folks like me participate in such contests. If luck favors, one can easily win a good prize. I find this pursuit thrilling and inspiring. But one should always remember one’s economic position and the nature of the contest before entering them to keep oneself on safe side. Today I gracefully prepared notes from the classroom instructions of Pingali Sailaja and started reading the book My Days of R K Narayan. Went to sleep by 11:00.
3 February (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:30. Read the book My Days of R K Narayan throughout the day. I enjoyed reading it. My thought follows, “Hinduism described the course of life to be followed by its followers. These days few are following it in its true spirit. The Hindu marriage system too lost its values. The western culture greatly influenced the Hindu way of life. Modern education system made man question everything related to tradition and culture. Every issue of life can’t be resolved in a question-and-answer method. We do not come into this world according to our wishes. We can’t decide our places of birth and death. There should be an appreciable and deep relationship between a wife and a husband. Otherwise one can’t enjoy one’s married life in a true sense. In the present conditions, it is difficult to retain the purity of thoughts. Married life without moral values does not have much flavor or value. If a girl and a boy behave like beasts after their marriage, their mutual attachment and relationship do not last longer. Now crazy and young couples are in this route. It is an unhealthy trend of Indian society”. Went to sleep by 10:30.
4 February (Monday)
Woke up by 6:30. Morning washed two pairs of clothes. Attended the classes by 9:20. Alladi Uma was unable to take her class today. So, we went to central library and did the work of collecting a piece of information on Greek mythology. On the way I collected a free post form from a foreign university’s prospectus and filled in it asking the information about ‘writing’ and ‘communicative language’ courses in distance education mode. There was no class even by Syed Mujeebuddin. Came back to hostel by 12:00. Read a recently published article on the friendship of R K Narayan and Graham Greene titled “Pounding Greene” written by Ranga Rao in the English daily The Hindu. Afternoon wrote a critical letter addressing the Controller of Examinations in our university expressing my satire on their recently taken decision to ban the conduct of any functions at the open dais. Pingali Sailaja took her class from 2:20 to 4:00. Finished writing the aforementioned letter by 4:30. From 5:50 to 8:30 typed up this manuscript of the letter on the computer system of my hostel mate Sharat Gupta and stored its soft copy in a floppy. Had my supper fast and moved to Serilingampally in an auto rickshaw. Proceeded to Balaji Xerox (my favorite computer center) and got my letter laser printed. The printout came well. Came back to hostel by 10:15. Enveloped the letter. Went to sleep by 12:00.
5 February (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the classes by 9:20. From today our seminars would be started in the course on R K Narayan. Chinmayi Sahu and Batzaya started their seminar on the book Gods, Demons and Others of R K Narayan and inaugurated the series of seminar presentations. Chinmayi made a commendable effort to bring us to the very foundation and framework of the Hindu mythology. She drew a big diagram on the blackboard and explained the hierarchical structure of the main deities of mainstream Hinduism. Batzaya, our classmate from Mongolia, explained a few Hindu mythological stories. This work by R K Narayan deserves appreciation of many readers like me. It acquaints us with the important characteristics of Hindu mythology. It is true that the present generation lacks even minimum understanding about their religious principles and practices. To know them in story form, from the words of R K Narayan, is a matter of great pleasure for me. I think R K Narayan would have struggled a lot to collect authentic information on Hindu mythology to write this book. Afternoon attended the post-submission seminar of Panigrahi, an M.Phil. student in our department. In the following class of Alladi Uma, Vijaya Krishna presented his seminar. Night prepared notes on ELT for some time. Listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 11:00.
6 February (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the classes by 9:20. Pingali Sailaja took her class and discussed the elements of Communicative Language Teaching (CLT). She told us to choose some topic to teach in the classroom of my classmates soon. It is known as “Peer Group Teaching”. Afternoon rested on my cot for some time. By 4:30 went to the department of fine arts. Read out my small work on love in Telugu titled “Pranaya Saagara Teeraalu” to Raju, a former student of this university. He said that he has good contacts with the influential people of the Telugu University in Hyderabad. He told that he would help me in getting my work published with their help. He found my work interesting. Evening spent talking with my classmates for one hour. By 8:15 went to the premises of our New Sports Complex on my bicycle along with my classmate Narasaiah. From 8:30 to 10:30 read out the aforementioned work of mine on love and recorded it into two 90-minute audiocassettes using the Walkman of my friend Veeranjaneyulu. The second half of the second cassette remained empty. I would fill it with a few melodious Telugu cine songs on love and art. I went there for serene atmosphere necessary for such a document of love to be recorded. It is my critical comment on the concept of love. Since I know the feel and intensity of love, with which I wrote it long ago, I thought it makes a good recording if I do it with my voice. Further, listening to something is easy and comfortable for one to understand it than to read it. I would ask a few people to comment on it after listening to it because it does not bother them much. Winds were blowing around me when I was recording it in dim light sitting on the road. I took it as the music of nature, which is eager to be recorded along with my voice. The noise of wild nature and the voice of a mild creature like me make up a good combination. Went to sleep by 12:30.
7 February (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:30. That weariness was there in my face owing to inadequate sleep last night. My body is vulnerable to sleep. If I miss my sleep a night, I have to sleep two full nights to recover from that effect. Morning washed a pair of clothes. Attended the classes by 9:20. Mohan Ramanan took his class and talked about a few things related to the work Gods, Demons and Others of R K Narayan. He added his personal comments about his philosophy of life and his perception of Hindu transcendental notions. In the class of Alladi Uma, two of my classmates presented their combined seminar. Kiran Prasad was one of the two. He is my seminar partner in our course on R K Narayan. We are working on My Days. Afternoon discussed my term paper with Mohan Ramanan. Went to Serilingampally by 4:00 on my bicycle. Got a few Telugu cine songs recorded into the two audiocassettes of recording I worked on last night. This is to fill the space in the cassettes left empty without my voice. Returned to hostel by 7:00. Night listened to the melodious Telugu cine songs recorded this evening. Went to sleep by 10:30.
8 February (Friday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the classes by 9:20. Syed Mujeebuddin continued his discussion on the drama The Tempest of Shakespeare. After this class, went to our Administrative Block to get some information from the scholarships section. From my first semester onwards, I have been receiving the merit-cum-means scholarship of 500 rupees a month from our university. In India, it is strange if a student belonging to Other Castes (OC) is getting any scholarship from the government. They are supposed to be rich ones by birth and so to stand on their own. The University of Hyderabad is the only educational institution from which I got a scholarship. Another surprising fact is that one’s income certificate has to be submitted for utilizing this opportunity. Many, who are receiving this kind of financial aid from government, are rich. I am also a bit rich (I have the comforts of food, shelter and clothing). Yet money is a key force in the modern lives. One has to utilize the opportunity dancing around one. When the nasty governments are spending crores of rupees for the V.I.P. treatment to the brainless politicians and useless games, there is nothing wrong on my part in utilizing a scholarship of our university (it is being paid from the special assistance fund being collected from students by the university). Wrote a letter to my brother Sambha to send me an income certificate for availing a scholarship of our English department. These people of the revenue department are the worst creatures in the world known for corruption and delay. Went to sleep by 11:00.
9 February (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:30. Spent all the day within the campus. Morning spent reading today’s newspapers for some time. From 9:30 to 12:30 attended the task of working out my topics of seminar on My Days of R K Narayan. Afternoon spent my time happily. Went to the department of fine arts along with my friend Yoganand. He is presently in his fourth semester of M.F.A. (painting). I asked him to write “Pranaya Saagara Teeraalu” (in Telugu) in calligraphy on the title slips of the two audiocassettes into which I recorded my voice and some Telugu cine songs recently. He did it well. He is a handsome guy. His writing is also like him. After that I assigned him the work of writing “Padamati Sandhyaa Raagam” (in Telugu) on the title slip of the audiocassette into which I recorded my words of administration for Pramodini some time ago (this is the title of a Telugu feature film based on a good love story directed by Jandhyala, a great figure in the Telugu film industry). I don’t know her name yet. She is a beautiful girl toward whom I feel devoted love. I want to marry her if God permits. At present she is in her fantastic world of acting in Telugu films. Yoganand painted a beautiful scenery of sunset on this cassette in the background of the title (symbolizing the meaning of the title). I would give it to Pramodini soon. Went to sleep by 11:30.
10 February (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:30. Scanned The Hindu for some time. Had a bath with hot water and ate my breakfast in the hostel mess. My classmate Vijaya Krishna and I proceeded to the main gate of the HCU (Hyderabad Central University) on our bicycles and kept them there. Thence we took two buses and reached “Satya Sai Nigamaagamam” at Sri Nagar Colony. Today a state level gathering of the Brahmins is taking place over there. I don’t like Satya Sai Baba receiving the worship of his devotees considering himself as a God. One can’t become God because of one’s great deeds. Others attribute divinity to them and they begin to consider themselves like gods. Real spiritualists dislike the company of people. Salvation has to be achieved through one’s efforts. Royal lifestyles and monetary concerns do not fit into this structure of spiritualism. In this age, people make gods and goddesses within minutes. They expect a few miracles from a candidate to make him or her god or goddess. This kind of people are a threat to the mainstream Hinduism. Many Brahmins are also the devotees of Satya Sai Baba. The speakers of the occasion stressed the need of strengthening their community to prove their identity and force in the nation. P Susheela and Rama Krishna (two noted singers of Telugu film industry) sang a few old Telugu cine songs. We had our lunch there. As long as these Brahmins worship people like Satya Sai Baba, there won’t be prosperity to the mainstream Hinduism. We returned to the campus by 5:30. Night watched Disc Jockey program at our New Sports Complex for some time. Went to sleep by 10:30.
11 February (Monday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the classes by 9:20. Alladi Uma took her class and presided over the seminar presentations. Today only one seminar presentation took place on “In defense of poetry”, a piece of criticism of Philip Sydney. The text of this piece runs into about 45 pages. In the following class, Syed Mujeebuddin became serious with us when he knew that we did not carry out the task assigned by him in our previous class. Then he cooled himself down in a few minutes and avoided punishing us for our reckless behavior toward his instructions. He discussed a few terms related to psychology. Then he turned angry to know that we did not finish reading the novel Jane Eyre of Charlotte Brontë. I bought this novel recently for 50 rupees (very affordable) published by Rupa. I am grateful to the literary services of the Rupa Publishers in New Delhi. Afternoon Pingali Sailaja took her class and resumed her talk on Communicative Language Teaching. She allowed us to check our intuitive preference for Listening, Visuals or Activities by instructing us to fill in the blanks checking strategically prepared scientific questions and answers in a format. We checked even which part of our brains are active. The left part of my brain is active according to this format. Went to sleep by 11:00.
12 February (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the classes by 11:00. Today it is the day of our seminar presentation on R K Narayan’s autobiography My Days, written in 1974, two years before my year of birth. My classmate and I joined to present this seminar. It is Kiran Prasad from Mysore where R K Narayan spent much part of his creative life. He is very familiar with the places where Narayan spent or referred to in his works. We presented our seminar by turns. He talked about many of his first-hand experiences with those places and Maha Raja College. He thinks that Mysore is a sleepy town suitable for bohemians and recluses. I dealt with the topics of some other places where R K Narayan spent his life and some important people written about in this work. I quoted much from the book. Perhaps it would have tortured my listeners (my classmates of this course and Professor Mohan G Ramanan). Only half of our seminar could be presented today. Afternoon met Professor Hangloo, the dean of student welfare, at his office in the Administrative Block (he sent a notice to our department intimating me to meet him immediately). I discussed with him the letter I recently sent them satirizing the ban on the conduct of functions at the open dais. Later I attended the work of photocopying my income certificate at Shopping Complex meant for the issuance of Linda Dittmer Scholarship from our department. Night scanned my notes on ELT. Went to sleep by 11:00.
13 February (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the classes by 9:20. Pingali Sailaja conducted an internal assessment test for 20 marks. It contained four questions, one being optional. I did it well. Came back to hostel by 11:30 and did reading for some time. After my lunch, read a piece of criticism related to our compulsory course. By 2:45 went to students’ section in our Administrative Block. Saw that my claim form for the merit-cum-means scholarship was processed soon and sent to the finance section for the issuance of cheque at the earliest. By 4:00 went to the office of our department to collect my scholarship of 700 rupees (founded by Linda Dittmer). They said that K Narayana Chandran, our present Head of the Department, was engaged in the interviews for the Ph.D. candidates. My claim form must be approved with his signature. He could not sign it today being busy. I felt disappointed. Presently I am in a bit of financial crisis. However, this problem is of very short period. I lent money to my friend Ramu Naidu. He is unable to repay me in time. Consequently I borrowed from everybody available for every small need. Went to sleep by 11:00.
14 February (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the classes by 9:20. Kiran Prasad and I finished our seminar presentation on R K Narayan’s My Days in today’s first class. In the following class, two of my classmates presented their seminars on “An Essay on Criticism” of Alexander Pope. It is in verse. Our instructor Alladi Uma clarified that by calling a versified text an essay the author might have attempted to prove a point, which we can’t understand clearly. Afternoon got the money of my merit-cum-means scholarship encashing the cheque at State Bank of India. Bought two demand drafts: one toward the renewal of my subscription to India Today Book Club and one toward the general membership fee of Kshatriya Seva Samithi. Repaid the borrowed amount of money to all my lenders. Sent 500 rupees for the old age expenditure of my maternal grandfather Subba Raju in Gollalagunta. Today it is Valentine’s Day. I got the three original certificates of my 10th standard, Intermediate (10+2) and B.A. (10+2+3) laminated at Shopping Complex to observe the spirit of this day in a different style. By 8:00 went to open air auditorium (open dais opposite Gopal Shop) to watch the celebration of Lovers Day by students. The campus students sang a few songs to the tune of music by our students with the instruments of the university. Spent there for a long time and returned to our hostel. Went to sleep by 11:00.
15 February (Friday)
Woke up by 6:30. Today we have the class of Syed Mujeebuddin. He told us to get out of the classroom if we did not finish reading the novel Jane Eyre of Charlotte Brontë. It is a novel of about 500 pages. I have not yet started reading it. So, I left his class. I started reading it keeping other academic burdens aside. It is true that semester system activates the spirit of students to do everything fast, if survival is a point for one to consider, in one’s course of studies. Evening attended a religious function organized by our Christian friends in Professor Gurbaksh Singh Hall. Ajay Varghese, a young and energetic speaker, talked about the point of culture. I was very much impressed by his mesmerizing speech and the clarity and organization of his thoughts. There were about 150 listeners. A Bharatha Naatyam dance recital followed it. That too gained the attention of audience. They distributed packs of sweets toward the end of this program. Went to sleep by 11:00.
16 February (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:30. Went to the B.H.E.L bus stop by 8:30 by a bus to buy monthly student bus passes for my friend and me. Way back, at Serilingampally, did a bit of shopping. Bought a local made tape recorder of Romano brand for 625 rupees and a shawl for my mother for 160 rupees. I think I got these two items cheaply. The tape recorder is to gift to Sowjanya, my sister-in-law at Mallavaram, on the occasion of her marriage, which is to take place soon. In my present state of financial dependence, I can’t buy a good gift for her. She is a good girl. She deserves my affection a lot. Then the shawl was the desire of my mother, when I went home recently. Came back to hostel by 11:00 and checked the quality of the tape recorder listening to cine songs playing on it till 12:00. Then had my lunch and devoted myself to reading the novel Jane Eyre of Charlotte Brontë. I am being moved by every piece of narration she created. The flow and content of such great novel easily impresses any sensitive reader. It provides one with both the pleasure of reading and insights related to human life. Went to sleep by 1:00.
17 February (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:30. Read the novel Jane Eyre of Charlotte Brontë throughout the day. I found it very interesting. The life of the main protagonist deeply touches readers. The thoughts of Charlotte Brontë about human life and Christianity look great. Her narrative style is brilliant. After finishing reading this novel, I felt that the essence of human life on earth is emptiness and misery. It is a classic in English literature. Such books deeply influence readers. I am happy that I could read such great work. By 7:00 (in the evening) my friend Ramu Naidu came from the city. Veeranjaneyulu, he and I went to Serilingampally. Veeru collected the photos of Ritu Singh from the photo studio. We returned to the campus by 9:00. Night my friend Ramu Naidu slept in my hostel room. I finished reading the novel Jane Eyre of Charlotte Brontë by 10:00. Went to sleep by 11:00 in the hostel room of my friend Ramesh.
18 February (Monday)
Woke up by 6:30. Morning washed a pair of clothes. Attended the classes by 9:20. Alladi Uma took her class. The seminars did not take place because one of the two presenters of today’s seminar failed to attend the class due to a health problem. Consequently she discontinued the class. In the following class, Syed Mujeebuddin allowed us to listen to a guest lecture by Raghu Rama Raju, a Reader from the Department of Philosophy in our university. He talked about ‘self’ and ‘double’ concepts. He gave us great focus on the philosophical developments of the western thought. Pingali Sailaja did not take her scheduled class in the afternoon. By 4:00 left for Mehdipatnam for shopping. At “Fantoosh” showroom purchased two T-shirts for 160 rupees for my brother Samba. Then took a bus for Serilingampally. While in the bus, at Mehdipatnam, I saw a bloody scene. A fellow hit another one on his nose. This barbaric attack must have a girl-centered background. At Sai Preet Color Lab, bought a Fujifilm roll for my camera. From today my suburban student bus pass starts being useful. Came back to hostel by 7:30. Night my friend Ramu Naidu repaid 4000 rupees to me. Night read “The Decay of Lying” of Oscar Wilde. Went to sleep by 11:30.
19 February (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Today I started being photographed with my camera in the direction of Yoganand, my friend from the department of painting. He shot me with a background of colorful flowers at the fine arts department and at the trunk of an old tamarind tree in the wilderness near our hostel. Attended the classes by 11:20. Two of my classmates presented their joint seminar on the novel The Man-eater of Malgudi of R K Narayan. They presented the topics very systematically. Afternoon Pingali Sailaja took her class and discussed the aspects of listening and speaking in ELT. She assigned us a little homework. Recently my classmate Kiran Prasad told me that some girls in our class are being affected by my looks at them in the classroom (the class of Alladi Uma). They are scared to say it on my face. I felt that I should treat them in a rational and logical way. Evening wrote a few sentences in English with these thoughts in my mind. Went to Serilingampally by bus and got it laser printed. It is an A 4 size white paper with adequate text on it. I would put up this on the small notice board at the entrance of our classroom. Night read an essay of Oscar Wilde. Went to sleep by 11:00.
20 February (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:30. This morning Yoganand shot me at some beautiful places in our campus. Attended the classes by 9:20. Pingali Sailaja discussed the elements of testing pronunciation skills. This morning I put up my open declaration, addressed to some girls, who are being affected by my looks at them. My classmates and my juniors read it and felt happy. The victims of my looks remained silent. Afternoon attended the class of Alladi Uma. Two of my classmates presented their seminars on the essays of criticism by P B Shelley and Mary Wollstonecraft. Viswa Prasad presented his seminar in a striking manner and held the attention of listeners. After coming back from the department, took Vijaya Krishna and Viswa Prasad to Shopping Complex and treated them with ice creams. Meanwhile my roommate Ravi Kanchan Chatterjee came there. He asked me to treat him also. So, I extended my offer even to him. Evening Yoganand shot me with my camera at our hostel. Night read my seminar topic on literary criticism (to be presented in our classroom soon). Around 11:00 my classmates Kiran Prasad and Shiv Narayan Mishra came to the room of Vijaya Krishna. We spent talking about ordinary issues and the way of the society. We often enjoy such casual talks. The paradigm of student life can’t be complete without the component of such chats. Went to sleep by 11:30.
21 February (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:30. Went to our department by 9:20. Mohan Ramanan is out of station. Read an essay on literary criticism. From 11:20 to 1:00 literary criticism class went on. Had my lunch and went to our department. Met Professor Alladi Uma and discussed the rationale of my seminar presentation on an essay of Oscar Wilde. Afternoon spent my time just like that. Evening too did not do anything worthwhile. Night photographed the portrait of Ritu Singh, drawn by my friend Veeranjaneyulu. He painted her in a traditional dress and decoration of a Hindu woman holding a candle in her hand. I shot another beautiful painting done by him. From 8:30 to 9:30 read a work of English literature. Then went to Ladies Hostel “1” along with Veeranjaneyulu on my bicycle to hand her (of Ritu Singh) portrait as a gift on her birthday. We knew that she went to city. We kept waiting for her. She returned by 10:30. She was portrayed in an exuberant red sari with a devotional pose. It is a great portrait reflecting her inspiring physical beauty. He admires her arresting features. We returned to our hostel by 11:00. Went to sleep by 11:30.
22 February (Friday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the classes by 9:20. Syed Mujeebuddin resumed his discussion on the novel Jane Eyre of Charlotte Brontë. He analyzed the elements of first person narratives in which the author’s perspective may influence the real course of plot and focus of the narrative. After this class, met Pingali Sailaja and discussed the rationale of my forthcoming peer group teaching. She approved my plan of teaching. Afternoon thought of preparing the text for my seminar on literary criticism. I could not do it. When listening to cine songs on my newly purchased local made tape recorder, it failed. Vijaya Krishna and I left for Serilingampally by bus. Got it repaired at the shop where I bought it recently. Vijaya Krishna collected his glasses from the shop. He gave them recently for repair. I bought a belt for me. Then we had two glasses of flavored milk. Kept waiting for our route bus. Meanwhile he ate a few Paani Purees (a famous local dish in twin cities). I hate those little things eaten with unhygienic water. Took a bus and returned to the campus by 7:30. Night listened to melodious Telugu cine songs on my tape recorder. Went to sleep by 10:30.
23 February (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:30. Morning prepared for a seminar. Afternoon prepared notes on the themes of works of R K Narayan. Professor Mohan G Ramanan recently assigned us this work. Evening went to Ravindra Bharati to attend a cultural program. Knew that only invitees would be allowed inside to watch it. Returned to hostel by 7:30 by bus. The suburban student monthly bus pass (which I recently purchased) often provokes me to go somewhere. The bus pass facility is really a wonderful gift for students like me. Being able to travel in and around the twin cities with the expenditure of 100 rupees a month is really quite good. There is heavy competition among the operators of auto rickshaws, private buses and government vehicles in attracting the passengers toward their services. Since it is Bakrid today, a festival of Muslims, there are herds of sheep in the city for sale. In India, many festivals are celebrated with the slaughter of innocent creatures. Where are those philosophies of Saint Gautam Buddha and Mahatma Gandhi in practice? Man is cruel by nature. It can be witnessed in his rituals in India. Went to sleep by 12:00.
24 February (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. From 10:30 to 6:00 prepared my seminar paper on Oscar Wilde’s essay “The Decay of Lying” for the literary criticism course. Evening talked with my classmates Kiran Prasad, Vijaya Krishna and Narasaiah for some time. Now our campus is filled with unrest. Recently a few dalit students clashed with the chief warden in his office room. They are protesting against a policy of the university. For long the respective student mess secretaries of the hostels have been purchasing food items from market for running their hostel messes. Recently the university decided to change this policy. Ten students were rusticated in this regard. First they resort to violence and then they try to rationalize it to safeguard their unjustifiable interests. I hate this tendency of these students. The dalit students are the main cause for unrest in the campus. As long as they call themselves ‘dalits’ and try to gain the support and sympathy of other folks in the society, being supported by the reservation policy of the government for their upliftment from backwardness, there would not be any improvement in their social status. They must shun their inferiority complex. Equality can’t be achieved until they realize that they must compete with others in every field of knowledge and efforts to improve. Went to sleep by 12:00.
25 February (Monday)
Woke up by 6:30. Morning washed a pair of clothes and watched television for some time. Attended the classes by 9:20. Alladi Uma took her class. My classmate Mary Lisa presented her seminar. This session was discontinued in the middle due to the call of the protesting dalit students on some issue in the campus. Consequently my scheduled seminar presentation today was disturbed and eventually got postponed. I felt very irritated by this development. Those dirty creatures interrupted all the classes in the university. The constitutional support of the great India to the scheduled classes and tribes for the last 50 years created much animosity between the dalits and the upper castes. The obvious evil in this scenario is the reservations on the basis of one’s community. I hate these double standards in India. It is a big threat to the internal harmony of the nation. Afternoon attended the class of Pingali Sailaja. She discussed the elements of reading, writing and vocabulary in ELT. After this class, went to Student Center Canteen and joined our classmates in their active talk. I shared the memories of my short military life with them. Came back to hostel by 6:00. Night listened to songs and did a little written work. Went to sleep by 10:00.
26 February (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Today my throat got infected and my voice was affected. I never witnessed this disorder. I have to present my seminar soon in our classroom with this voice and that is what disturbs me more. Went to State Bank of India by 11:00 and withdrew 1000 rupees from my savings account. This is for my expenses during my tour to Molleru Mallavaram soon for attending the marriage of my sister-in-law Sowjanya. She has been an affectionate girl toward me. It would be my pleasure to attend her marriage. Mohan Ramanan did not take his class this morning being busy with some other work in the department. Afternoon Pingali Sailaja took extra class and discussed some elements of testing in ELT. Toward the end of this class, she told us how we should evaluate the performance of our peers in our classroom teaching and give them marks. By 4:15 left for Mehdipatnam by bus. Thence proceeded to Abids and purchased a T-Shirt for 100 rupees at “Chermas” showroom and a cover for a 26-inch V.I.P. suitcase at Kothi. Came back to Mehdipatnam and purchased another T-shirt for 100 rupees at “Fantoosh” showroom. These two T-shirts are my gifts to my brother Srinivas. He recently told me to buy a cover for his big suitcase. Went to an audio shop and bought four company audiocassettes of Telugu cine songs to gift to Sowjanya along with the tape recorder. Went to sleep by 11:30.
27 February (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the classes by 9:20. Today we started our peer group teaching session in our class of ELT course. Three students presented their teaching. I too presented my peer group teaching today. Though some disorders were found in my teaching, I felt satisfactory with my performance. Came back to hostel by 11:30. Prepared notes for some time summarizing the classroom instruction of our Reader Pingali Sailaja in a previous class. Attended the special class of Alladi Uma by 1:45. I presented my seminar on Oscar Wilde’s essay “The Decay of Lying” for half an hour in a satisfactory manner. Returned to hostel soon and started getting ready to leave for Secunderabad railway station. Washed a pair of clothes and put them on the clothesline in my room. Took a bath by 5:00. My classmate Vijaya Krishna is also accompanying me to the marriage of my sister-in-law Sowjanya at Molleru Mallavaram. We took two buses and reached Secunderabad by 6:30. We had our supper at Hotel Padmaja opposite the railway station. We took the general compartment of Gauthami Express by 8:00 at Secunderabad. It was so densely packed with passengers that we could not find a little room even to stand peacefully. My classmate is a rich fellow. Perhaps he would not have faced such agony of train journey earlier. He behaved like a little boy throughout the journey being unable to face the messy passengers pressing him from all the sides. I hardly slept before 12:00.
28 February (Thursday)
We got off it at Rajahmundry railway station by 7:00. Hired a rickshaw and started toward bus complex. He was slowly riding his vehicle. We enjoyed this slow travel to bus complex. The fascinating chores of the ordinary people in the streets were a feast to our eyes. Mostly women were seen involved in their morning chores. Washing clothes or dishes of the last supper, decorating the fronts of their abodes with designs of white flour, preparing breakfast items on their pushcarts for the early birds, fetching water, milking their buffaloes and so on. There is charm of spirit of hard life in their chores. Every man is supposed to act in some way to survive. They are starting their daily acting schedule a bit early. They can’t stay longer on their cots in the morning like the privileged sections of Indian society. I like those lives. We reached Jaggampeta by 8:30. We took another bus and reached Mallavaram by 10:30. We freshened up ourselves, filled our stomachs and went to beds for rest. Afternoon my mother and my nephew Sujan came from Peda Gummuluru. My brother Srinivas was very busy coordinating the preparatory works of the marriage. I should say he is the chief supervisor of this event. Evening Vijaya Krishna and I climbed up a nearby hillock and saw the statue of Lord Krishna over there. He is in a small and poor shelter. We found His statue in a very pitiable condition. Went to sleep by 10:30.
1 March (Friday)
Woke up by 6:30. Relatives are arriving one after one. There is heavy rush of people in the house. Near and dear ones are busy attending to different works of marriage. Women are involved in cooking activities. I arranged the names of the bride and bridegroom on the two green coconuts with glittery and little cubes. The bride and bridegroom hold them in their hands during the marriage. Afternoon Vijaya Krishna and I went to Jaggampeta on a scooter to bring the garlands of jasmines, fruits, betel nuts and betel leaves. We went via the route of village Govinda Puram, which is rocky, hilly and testing. I rode the bike on our onward journey. I enjoyed it a lot. We saw the students of the A P R School at Bhoopatipalem. I regretted the poor condition of the road. The school buildings are very old. Students are small in size and poor in their physical appearance. We returned home by 4:00. The dinner was started by 8:30. One of the crazy folks of the bridegroom party intentionally created nuisance to test the patience of the bride party. He commented that the food quality is bad. My brother Srinivas adequately and skillfully dealt with him. I was infuriated by his foolish and eccentric behavior. I avoided seeing his face thereafter. I hate such rude blokes. Kolukuluri Sowjanya was wedded to Datla Ramesh Raju by 3:00 in the late night. I watched this ceremony till the end. Vijaya Krishna slept somewhere. I did not like to wake him up. When he came to a marriage occasion, it should be his interest to watch it for pleasure sake. I don’t like such childish habits of people. A marriage does not stop if some people don’t attend it. It should be our pleasure to watch such auspicious and jubilant occasions in the lives of others. I like attending marriage ceremonies because they are associated with real joy of human life. Vijaya Krishna joined us toward the end of marriage. He said that I should have awoken him. I replied that he should have taken that initiative.
2 March (Saturday)
I hardly slept last night. I did not plan to go to our home when I started from Hyderabad. This morning, on the advice of my brother Srinivas, left for Peda Gummuluru along with my classmate Vijaya Krishna. We reached Jaggampeta by 8:30 by bus. Thence we took an express bus and reached Adduroad by 11:30. We reached our house by 12:00. He took his bath and had his lunch in half an hour. He did not even see our house and all of a sudden told that he would have to leave for his hometown Vijayawada to see his paternal grandmother (out of uncontrollable homesickness caused by seeing my position in our house). I wondered at his strange behavior. Reached him Adduroad immediately. Advised him to go to Annavaram by lorry and to take Ratnachal Express (a super-fast inter-city express running between Visakhapatnam and Vijayawada) from there. I lost my compact camera due to his careless behavior in the train journey. He stood at the other exit of the compartment when we were to detrain at Rajahmundry. When I was bringing down the heavy bag of luggage from the rack in my hurry, my camera slipped somewhere along with some other items. I could not search for it because the train had already started leaving the platform. Had he helped me being beside me when I was bringing down the bag from the rack, I would not have lost my camera. There was the reel of film containing the recently shot photos in that camera. They are very precious to me. I got them interestingly shot at beautiful locations in our campus by my artist friend Yoganand. I suffered a lot to lose those photos of mine. I can buy another camera but I can’t create that set of photos. They are lost forever. I was tortured in a way by the abnormal behavior of Vijaya Krishna. He talks too much and discusses scholarly stuff everywhere not minding the level of the people around and the mood of the occasion. I regretted taking him along with me. He is a careless fellow and lacks decorum. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 10:00.
3 March (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:30. Spent most of my time within our house. Morning washed my clothes. According to the norms of our family, washing clothes, cooking food and the maintenance of the house are the responsibilities of a woman. When my father saw me washing my clothes near our well, he criticized my sister-in-law Kranti for allowing me to do it when the womenfolk are at home. I did not like his attitude in this regard. Often I quarrel with my folks about these things. By 5:30 reached Narsipatnam Road railway station in an auto rickshaw. Took Godavari Express by 6:30. The third-class compartments were thickly packed. So, I got into a second-class reservation compartment and sat at the entrance. The train was stopped for much time at Tuni railway station. Police squad checked all the coaches. Somebody informed them that there was a bomb in the train. They did not find anything of that sort. It was a bomb hoax. I got off it at Rajahmundry railway station and took Puri-Okha Express. It was also heavily packed. Got off it at Warangal railway station. By 3:00 took Chennai-Hyderabad (Charminar Express) Express. By the grace of God, I could have somewhat comfortable journey in the three trains. My salutes to Goddess Parvati. By 9:00 (next day morning) reached our campus by city bus. I hardly slept in the train journey.
4 March (Monday)
Freshened up myself taking a pleasant bath with hot water. Went to our department and found that the things turned favorable to me for allowing me to rest. The university is observing a holiday today as an expression of condolence to the demise of G M C Bala Yogi, the present Lok Sabha speaker, from the state of Andhra Pradesh, in the crash of a helicopter he is traveling by, in East Godavari district. Came back to hostel by 11:00. I don’t like these things centered on political people. If somebody dies because of a destined course of action, the entire nation has to mourn his or her death. To whom are they leaders? Who made them leaders? How is it justifiable to order the entire nation to mourn one’s death when one is not related to all those people in any way? I wonder at these ugly facets of human life. The people are supposed to consider him a philosopher, a pioneer and a great leader because he died in the political position of a speaker. Are virtues being glorified or the positions of people? Once the physical abode of a man is burnt off on funeral pyre, the nation throws him into a dustbin of memories. Where are ideals now? There are only experienced hypocrites (famous politicians). Conscious citizens know well about their gimmicks. These are the ugly features of the present political environment in the world. Went to sleep by 10:30.
5 March (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Today we did not have our class of Mohan Ramanan on R K Narayan. From today onwards guest lecturers would be held by invited professors from other universities as per the SAP-DRS schedule. As part of it, today there were two lectures. The first one was by E N Rama Chandran, a retired professor of the Mangalore University. He spoke on the theme of “Pulls of Nationalism in Literature”, focusing on Girish Karnad’s recently written play “The Dream of Tippu Sultan”. Afternoon Hiren Gohain of the Assam University spoke on the theme of “The Interpretation of Literature”. This afternoon I received a letter from S P Bala Subrahmanyam from Chennai in reply to my letter sent to him about two months ago. He expressed his inability to present a program of Telugu cine songs in our campus before this May because he is busy with his other scheduled programs during this period of time. I felt very happy to receive a letter from him because I am one of his admirers. Afternoon wrote an acknowledgement letter to him and typed it up on the computer system of my friend in our hostel. Stored its soft copy in a floppy and proceeded to Balaji Xerox at Serilingampally by 8:00. Got my letter laser printed. I liked Balu’s handwritten reply to me. So, I wrote a moving reply to him. Came back to hostel by 9:30. Went to sleep by 11:30.
6 March (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Went to our department by 9:20. Today two classes went on. The first class was of ELT in which three of my classmates presented their peer group teaching. By 11:30 posted my letter to S P Bala Subrahmanyam at our university post office. I put the three sheets of paper (carrying elegant text on them in laser print) in an airmail cover. I got even his postal address laser printed. He is my lord of admiration. I need to take a little care to elegantly present my letter of admiration to him. I am very happy to send such a letter to him (which touches his heart deeply). By 2:00 the class of literary criticism was started in which two of my classmates presented their seminars on the essay “The Metaphysical Poets” of T S Eliot. By 4:30 left for Serilingampally by bus. Went to Sai Preet Color Lab for getting my passport size photos printed. Had a glass of hot milk at a sweet stall there. I want to see such society where everybody is busy drinking milk instead of these stinking and horrible alcoholic drinks. I know that evil entices people toward the bad. Virtues can seldom attract humans. Came back to hostel by 7:30. I recently became weak. Went to sleep by 10:30.
7 March (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:30. Morning washed a pair of clothes. Attended the classes by 9:20. A contemporary Tamil poet read out his poetry in English in our class at the invitation of our professor Mohan G Ramanan. His poetry has profundity of perception and beauty of expression. Came back to hostel by 11:30. Had my lunch by 1:00. Went back to our department and spent writing a letter to Saswati Patnaik for a few minutes. By 2:20 Pingali Sailaja took her class of ELT. The peer group teaching session had to take place. Two of my classmates came late and so it was started a bit late. I hate students that make their teacher wait for them in the classroom. Went to the room of Shiva Prasada Raju (a Kshatriya fellow from Visakhapatnam and a familiar one to me) in our hostel by 4:30. Spent there typing up the script of my letter to Saswati Patnaik and the related piece of poetry on his personal computer. She is from Orissa. Her roll number must be 99HEPH05. She is currently pursuing her Ph.D. in English literature under the guidance of Professor Mohan G Ramanan. She is the most beautiful girl in our department now according to me. My heart responds where there is arresting female beauty. To reach my message of admiration toward her exceptional beauty, I wrote this letter and piece of poetry. I know that she is good at heart also. I observed her behavior now and then. She always appears in an elegant Punjabi dress. Her hair is black and beautiful. Her face shines like full moon. I never wanted to see her smiling. Her cool face itself is a symbol of pleasing smiles. God set them there carefully. She need not trouble herself smiling to please others. Stored its soft copy in a floppy. Took a bath by 7:15. Ironed my clothes by 9:15. Night it was cloudy and captivating. God decorated this summer night. Went to sleep by 10:00.
8 March (Friday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the classes by 9:20. Even today Indran Amrita Nayagam read out his pieces of poetry in English at the invitation of Professor Mohan Ramanan. He is an American consul working in Chennai. By attending this poetry reading, I missed my “double” class. I discovered it late. In the following class, Professor Hiren Gohain of the Assam University delivered the third part of his guest lecture on the theme of “The Interpretation of Literature”. Went to Serilingampally by bus by 3:00. Walked to Balaji Xerox Center and got my letter and the piece of poetry for Saswati Patnaik laser printed. The title of this poem is “In Praise of a Temple of Beauty”. Came back to hostel by 5:00. Enveloped the letter and piece of poetry, stamped the cover and posted it at our university post office. This goes to our department and rests in the tray of letters there until she picks it up some day. May Lord Gopal and Mother Saraswati guide this letter properly toward the addressee. This risky initiative is meant for praising her arresting beauty. May gods and goddesses bless her life with smiles and success. Night watched the English feature film “The Chariots of Fire” at our open air auditorium. This program goes on for three days. This series of English feature film shows is being organized by the “Evangelical Students” in our university. This film is filled with the spirit of Olympic games, which I don’t like much. Went to bed by 10:30.
9 March (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:30. Today I wanted to read some core texts of my courses of study. I could not get them anywhere. So, I decided to buy a few books for me. Went to State Bank of India and withdrew 1000 rupees from my savings account. Took a city bus and left for Lakdi-ka-pool. Went into “Best Book Center” by a filling station. It is a place of availability of multiple copies of second-hand books at low prices. After a thorough search, I could find two books of my courses of study. They are the novel A Passage to India of E M Forster and the novel Waiting for the Mahatma of R K Narayan. Had my lunch for 10 rupees (they call it Dhaal Rice in twin cities) at a roadside hotel in Basheer Bagh. Then proceeded to “Book Point” and bought four novels of R K Narayan. They are Swamy and Friends, The English Teacher, The Man-eater of Malgudi and The World of Nagaraj. Came back to hostel by 5:30. This evening there is the program of singing the legendary Hindi cine songs sung by Lata Mangeshkar at NTR Stadium by Kumar Sanu, Usha Mangeshkar and Roop Kumar Rathod. I could not go to this program because the entry ticket costs 100 rupees. Went to sleep by 11:30.
10 March (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:30. Spent most of my time within the hostel. Read today’s newspapers for one hour. From 10:00 to 12:30 read the novel Swamy and Friends of R K Narayan. From 2:00 to 7:00 wrote notes on it. Our professor Mohan Ramanan gave us an assignment. We have to prepare a write-up of about 15 sentences on the works we read as part of our course of study. He corrects grammatical errors in those sentences we wrote. Evening my classmate Vijaya Krishna cooked noodles in his hostel room. He offered a bit of it to me. It was tasty. Had my supper by 8:30. Thereafter my classmate Viswa Prasad and I went to the art room of Veeranjaneyulu and Yoganand by the fine arts department. We spent there for ten minutes. This afternoon I had three glasses of coffee in our hostel mess. It amounts to about 200 milliliters. It caused me giddiness by evening. I like the sweetness of eatables and beverages. This tendency often makes me consume even such items, which affect my health. May Lord Gopal bless me and save me from this disorder. May Mother Saraswati bless me. Went to sleep by 10:30.
11 March (Monday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the classes by 9:20. Alladi Uma took her class of literary criticism. Two of my classmates presented their seminars on the essay “Great Tradition” of F R Leavis. In the following class, Syed Mujeebuddin discussed the elements of the novel The Wide Sargasso Sea of Jean Rhys. He does not explain the outline of a work before allowing it to be discussed by students. He has no sense of time. Today he continued his class till 1:20. After this class, rushed to our post office and posted a contest related entry to the office of the English daily The Hindu in Hyderabad. By 2:20 Pingali Sailaja took her class of ELT. Three of my classmates presented their peer group teaching. Today I received a letter from the Lily Pharmaceutical Company in Chennai. The irony is that I got the letter after the scheduled date of interview by this company at Hotel Deccan Continental in Hyderabad. Evening went to Ravindra Bharati to enjoy listening to the music of Lalgudi Jayaraman. Bought an entry ticket of 15 rupees and sat in the balcony. The program was started by 7:30. C Rangarajan, the present Governor of Andhra Pradesh, felicitated Jayaraman, a Padma Bhushan recipient. Lalgudi Jayaraman, his son and his daughter played the violin with accompanists. I enjoyed it. Returned to hostel by 10:00. Went to sleep by 11:00.
12 March (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Today our university observes a holiday centered on a Hindu festival. I stayed within the hostel all the day. Spent much of my time reading the novel A Passage to India of E M Forster. I could finish reading only 110 pages in it. Morning and afternoon rested on my cot for some time. In my sleep in the afternoon I had a dream. These days the mighty kingdom of my dreams is seizing my daytime sleep also. I enjoyed it. To celebrate the Hindu festival “Maha Shiva Raathri”, our hostel mess secretaries provided us with a laddu and Lemon Rice (it is called ‘Pulihora’ in Telugu) for lunch. Today the devotees of Lord Shiva observe fast and a sleepless night. It is a very auspicious day for Hindus. I did not remain a true devotee of Him for the last six or seven years. I ate fully. Today I slept even during daytime, which is not my habit in general. These days the observation of the nights in tune to the required standards of spiritualism went astray. Devotees are supposed to spend their time in Bhajans or Keerthanas praising Lord Shiva. The spirit of devotee must be drenched and immersed in the transcendental depths of the sensations of divine sensibility spread in such sacred atmosphere. Modernity affected the holiness of observation of these great festivals of India. They spend watching films, playing cards and consuming alcoholic drinks. They invented their ways to differently celebrate these holy nights. Went to sleep by 11:00.
13 March (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the classes by 9:20. In today’s ELT class, a professor from Spain gave us a guest lecture on English Language Teaching. Pingali Sailaja and Afeefa Bhanu are two linguists in our department now. Sudhakar Marathe has a Ph.D. in Linguistics. He mostly deals with literature. He has a soft corner for it. Afterwards Syed Mujeebuddin took his extra class. Today we were supposed to discuss the novel A Passage to India of E M Forster. Most of us have not finished reading it. So, our discussion was directed toward the other points of literary importance. Afternoon I saw an attractive job ad in the “Opportunities” section of the English daily The Hindu. It was placed by “United India Shipping and Marine Services” based at Visakhapatnam. There are about 500 vacancies. The salary figures are also very encouraging. High salary tempts me because with low salary I can’t lead a happy independent life. Evening started writing letters to send to various places. It was over by 10:00. Went to sleep by 11:00.
14 March (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:30. Washed a pair of clothes, took a bath, had my breakfast of two dosas in our hostel mess and left for our department by 9:00. As per the orders of the Registrar of the university, in view of “Sukoon 2002”, the annual event of our university, the 14th, 15th and 16th of this month are declared holidays. Since very few days are left for the completion of the courses of fourth semester of M.A. English, classes were conducted even today. In the class of Mohan Ramanan, two of my classmates presented their seminars. We finished the discussion of the novel The English Teacher of R K Narayan. In the following class, Murali Manohar conducted an internal assessment test on behalf of Alladi Uma. She gave us a piece of criticism of Samuel Taylor Coleridge and asked us to comment on it supporting our argument with the insights gained from the other similar works we read so far as part of this course of study. It is a disgusting piece of discussion. I somehow managed to comment on it. Afternoon posted three letters to different destinations. From 2:00 to 3:30 rested on my cot. The allotted time by me for this siesta is 45 minutes but it extended itself to 90 minutes. Sleep is such tricky thief. It silently steals our time. From 10:00 to 12:00 watched Rock Show at open dais. Went to sleep by 12:30.
15 March (Friday)
Woke up by 6:30. These days I am unable to concentrate on the important issues of my life. I am feeling much disturbed internally. My blunder was of spending 6000 rupees for the two-year correspondence course on “Port Development and Management” from the Institute of Rail Transport in New Delhi. I was tempted to apply for that course only because its advertisement boasted of high salaries after finishing it. The problem for me with this course is that it is filled with the terminology used in the shipping industry. It is very difficult to cope with any course of study when we can’t remember even the basic terminology of it. The risk involved in any course of study these days is that we can’t get back the money once we send it to them. Being tempted by high salaries is a common phenomenon among ordinary human beings. I may justify my act in this regard this way. The total amount of money I spent as a student in this university is about 60,000 rupees. I am not happy with my marks in the M.A. English course. Human life is a journey in which we can’t foresee the halts or the destination. Went to sleep by 11:00.
16 March (Saturday)
Got up by 7:00. Today it is the last day of “Sukoon 2002” celebrations in our campus. I did not participate in any competition. I did not like to disappoint myself. Competitions are meant for giving some gifts or prizes to a few. Everybody can’t be a winner in a competition. Three participants enjoy the bliss of success when all others remain with low spirits for a few days recollecting their failure in the competition. I did not like to burden myself even with those pains. Went to State Bank of India and withdrew 500 rupees from my savings account for my expenses during the second half of this month. Reached Serilingampally by 10:30. Thence proceeded to the B.H.E.L. bus stop by city bus to renew my monthly student bus pass. I finished my work and returned to Ramachandra Puram by city bus. Got off the bus at the halt by M N R Color Lab. I had to get some work done at this color lab. I looked for my money in the front pocket of my shirt. I discovered that somebody stole it. I kept new five 100-rupee notes in it after withdrawing it from the bank. I was shocked by this loss of money for the first time in my life. Some pickpocket must have stolen my money. It is a good lesson to me for my reckless handling of money. I have my bus pass. So, I could return to the campus without money. Evening went to Basheer Bagh along with my classmates Colin, Emanuel, Manohar Babu and Shiv Narayan Mishra and saw the English film “Lord of the Rings” in cinema Skyline. I enjoyed it a lot. My classmates had their supper at Serva Hotel in Mehdipatnam. Shiv Narayan Mishra offered me part of his noodles. I had 250 grams of grapes also. Returned to hostel by 11:00. Went to sleep by 11:30.
17 March (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:30. Spent most of my time within the hostel casually. The name of my Lord Gopal follows, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Went to sleep by 10:30.
18 March (Monday)
Woke up by 6:30. Morning washed a pair of clothes. Attended the classes by 9:20. Today we did not have our scheduled literary criticism class. Instead of going to central library, attended the class of Professor Sudhakar Marathe (he is offering an optional course titled “Catastrophe Fiction” to some of my classmates) in which Carol Faith Satananda presented her seminar on the novel Future Shock. She did it very well. In the interval (from 11:00 to 11:20), the Dorothy Deering ‘Victorian Literature Prize’ (a prize constituted in our department by a foreigner) was given away by Sudhakar Marathe to Carol and Colin Leslie Kelman (the first and second prizes respectively). It is in recognition of their getting highest marks in the course of “Victorian Literature” in our third semester. From 11:20 to 1:00 “The Double” class went on under the supervision of Syed Mujeebuddin. Had my lunch by 1:30. Went to State Bank of India to withdraw 500 rupees from my savings account to fill the deficit caused by my recent loss of money. By 2:20 attended the guest lecture of Afeefa Bhanu in our classroom. Our instructor Pingali Sailaja asked her to take our class of ELT. She shared her experiences as a teacher at the Rishi Valley School in Chittoor district of Andhra Pradesh. By 5:00 started to Ravindra Bharati for the last program of the 42nd anniversary weekly presentations by “South Indian Cultural Association”. Bought a daily donor pass of 15 rupees and sat in the balcony. I enjoyed the Jugalbandi of Carnatic and Hindustani vocal recital by Sriram Parasuram and Anuradha Sriram. Today Saswati Patnaik took my letter from the tray of letters in our department (I thought so because I could not find it there today. I have been checking it daily ever since it reached there from the postman. I pitied its existence there for long. What if she does not take that letter? The scream of my heart goes unheard). Went to sleep by 12:00.
19 March (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the classes by 11:20. Mohan Ramanan took his class. Two of my classmates presented their joint seminar on the novel Waiting for the Mahatma of R K Narayan. Only half of their seminar could be presented today. Afternoon did some written work. Evening went to Ravindra Bharati to attend a program of classical music. A cultural organization of Nagpur, in association with the Department of Culture, Government of Andhra Pradesh, is presenting two cultural programs. The first program is being presented today. This series of the two cultural programs is based on the theory of “Parampara”. It is a cultural festival centered on the concept of “Guru Shishya Parampara” (the tradition of devotion and association between a teacher and a disciple in the field of art). In today’s program, Ustad Amjad Ali Khan and his eldest son Amaan Ali Khan played the Sarod. It is an “all are invited” program and so the hall was thickly packed with audience. They did it very well from 6:30 to 8:30. My friend Ramesh and I enjoyed it a lot. We came back to our hostel by 9:30 by city bus. I have a lot of work related to my courses of study. I am deferring it preferring cultural programs. I don’t think my preference is abnormal. Went to sleep by 11:00.
20 March (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the classes by 9:20. Pingali Sailaja took her class and discussed the theory of “Lesson Planning”. She expected our maximum participation in the discussion of this topic. She said that she prepared comprehensive lesson plans in her initial stages of teaching profession. But gradually she could manage to teach without depending much on lesson plans. In the following class, Syed Mujeebuddin discussed the shades of various interpretations in the novel A Passage to India of E M Forster. By 2:00 went to our university campus school to talk with English teachers there about a project work of my ELT course. My task is to collect the responses of English teachers in a few schools to some questions prepared by me on the topic of my project work. I felt happy to meet the two English teachers who proved quite hospitable and cooperative. Evening went to Ravindra Bharati to attend the Kuchipudi dance recital of Shobha Naidu (a famous figure in the field of Kuchipudi dance from the state of Andhra Pradesh) and her disciples. It is part of the “Guru-Shishya Parampara” sequence of presentations. I enjoyed her performance a great deal. Soon after coming back to hostel, I wrote a piece of poetry in Telugu praising her commendable performance. It came well. I felt happy. Went to sleep by 11:00.
21 March (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:30. Morning washed a pair of clothes. Attended the classes by 9:20. Mohan Ramanan briefly reviewed the autobiographical and literary aspects of R K Narayan. A professor of English from Spain, who came to our university to attend some other work, also attended his lecturer, because she is an admirer of the works of R K Narayan. She told that she is interested in Indian Writing in English. In the following class, we had a guest lecture by Tripathi, a retired professor of English from Orissa, on the theme of “20th Century Literary Criticism”. He attracted the attention of listeners with his commendable lecture on this topic. Afternoon went to Serilingampally to collect the opinions of some English teachers in schools for my ELT project work. After that went to a computer center and got my written piece of admiration in Telugu (meant to be presented to Kuchipudi dance exponent Shobha Naidu) typed up and laser printed. I wanted to do it in color print but my present economic situation stopped me from that pursuit. Got it laminated at Shopping Complex in our university. I am not happy with its look. May God bless it. Went to sleep by 11:30.
22 March (Friday)
Woke up by 7:00. These days I am getting disorderly in following my discipline of sleeping early at night and waking up early in the morning. My roommate Ravi Kanchan Chatterjee is responsible for it in a way. He is exactly the opposite of my discipline of sleep. Today it was very hot outside. Attended the classes by 9:20. Syed Mujeebuddin discussed the concept of ‘The Double’ in its larger sense of the colonial and postcolonial contexts. He told us to read the book The Intimate Enemy of Ashis Nandy for a good understanding of the implications of colonial influences on the ‘self’ of the colonized. Afternoon went to our campus school and found that they did not yet give answers to the questionnaire I left with them. My questionnaire seeks their responses on some points of actual English language teaching in a classroom. From 2:30 to 7:00 I spent in a bad mood centered on a prevailing situation. I had to type up my “Farewell Speech to our Teaching Faculty” on the personal computer of my friend Prasada Raju. He went to the city on some work. The computer in his room does not accept my manual commands unless I know the password set by him. I can’t attend other works until this task is completed. My rigid mentality tuned to adherence to priority wise conduct of tasks often tortures me like this. Went to sleep by 11:00.
23 March (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the classes by 9:20. Alladi Uma took her extra class. Two of my classmates presented their seminars. After this class, took a written test in our department conducted by a Pune based coaching center. It is into the business of training students taking the entrance tests to enter prestigious schools of management in India. Did the test carefully for one hour (from 12:00 to 1:00) along with some folks of our department. May God bless me if He wants to direct me in this way. The direction responsibilities of my life are wholly licensed to Him. Afternoon received the gift book Sights and Sounds of the World of Khushwant Singh from the India Today Book Club in New Delhi to which I recently sent my subscription for the renewal of my annual membership with it. Then went to our campus school to get answers from the English teachers there for my questions. They did not yet finish filling it up. Rushed to the two schools at Serilingampally to carry out the same work. They too disappointed me. Procrastination is their quality. I hate it. Thence proceeded to Balaji Xerox Center and got my “Farewell Speech to our Teaching Faculty” laser printed. Then moved to cinema Geetha and saw the Telugu film “Parasu Ram” of Srihari. Returned to our hostel by 6:30. Night listened to the talk of our professor Mohan G Ramanan on the contemporary Indian writing in English on Hyderabad radio in its “Weekly English Edition” program. Simultaneously I recorded it into an audiocassette on the tape recorder of my classmate Vijaya Krishna in his room. Went to sleep by 11:00.
24 March (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:30. Spent most of my time within the hostel reading this and that. Morning prepared my seminar paper on the novel Where shall we go this summer of Anita Desai. From 2:00 to 4:00 read the play “Naga Mandala” of Girish Karnad. Night read the novella Unveiling India of Anees Jung. My thought follows, “Man can’t be happy in any stage of his life. Childhood disappears within seconds. Thereafter the boy and the girl fall in the web of mutual admiration wherein none of them can be happy. In getting one’s children educated and married, one has to shoulder inescapable responsibilities. Meanwhile the awful old age nears the creature. One can’t understand one’s life completely unless one goes through all these stages of one’s life. One that faces one’s life courageously can’t enjoy one’s life. One’s life looks futile from this perspective”. Went to sleep by 10:30.
25 March (Monday)
Woke up by 6:30. All the day stayed within the hostel. From 9:00 to 12:00 read the novella Unveiling India of Anees Jung. It is a great work. It portrays real life in India. She examined the helpless lives of poor women in Indian villages and slums. Every sentence signifies exploration of discarded human existence and shattered female psyche. Indian tradition and culture are discussed in terms of man-woman relationship, marriage, conjugal life, widowhood, familial bonds and so on. She asserts that Indian women should have an identity of their own. She explored the bitter realities of existential struggle by poor women. This book pictures the burdens of tradition and culture inflicted on the psyche of Indian woman. Modernity could not change the attitudes of many men and women in India yet. They don’t consider girls as worthy creatures on earth. It is son that attends funeral rites of his parents. He is the one supposed to uphold the fame of his community growing his family tree. The lives of many women in India still remained pathetic and tragic (in our “very modern and developed” age also). Afternoon wrote my term paper on this work. It came well. I found pragmatism in her work. I saw that reality around me in my life. It helped me write my term paper well. Went to sleep by 11:00.
26 March (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Washed a pair of clothes, took a bath, had my breakfast of Pesarattu (the name of a breakfast item in Telugu) in our hostel mess and went to central library to pick up some books for my understanding of Salman Rushdie. I have to get ready with my term paper also for “The Double” course. I chose the novel Houseboy of Ferdinand Oyono for this purpose. By 11:20 Mohan Ramanan took his class and presided over the remaining part of the joint seminar presentation of my classmates Narasaiah and Viswa Prasad. Today I posted the filled up entry form of a contest to “Eveready” (a company associated with batteries and related products), to its Secunderabad office, giving from address of Saswati Patnaik, the research scholar in our department. Is it my affection or admiration for such a brilliant girl! I can’t answer this but I would be very happy if she wins a prize in this contest. Afternoon attended the ELT class in which Pingali Sailaja allowed us to comment on the merits and demerits of the use of a course book in teaching students at school level. She brought a few elementary textbooks which are being used in Britain. We scanned them and found them to be very useful for a systematic learning of English. After this class, we classmates had sugarcane juice at Shopping Complex. Then they came to my hostel room and read some of my writings for spending time. Night did a little written work. Went to sleep by 11:00.
27 March (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the class by 11:30 by “Foreigners’ Canteen” near our post office. Today Reader Syed Mujeebuddin took our class of “The Double” in the open place over there. Afternoon attended the joint seminar of Professor Alladi Uma and Reader M Sridhar at our Humanities Lecture Hall. They spoke on the theme of “Translation-A Re-presentation”. They have been translating from Telugu to English and vice versa for long. They discussed the complexities involved in translation from one (cultural) language to another (cultural) language. From 5:00 to 7:00 involved myself in preparing the assignment for my ELT course. Actually I am supposed to collect the responses of five English teachers, three English medium students and three non-English medium students to a few questions framed by me for this project work. I am tired of this task of collecting responses from them. They are not returning me the filled in copies. I can’t go to them frequently. It is wrong on my part but my time constraints are compelling me to do so. Night read a chapter from the bound course book on literary criticism given by our instructor Alladi Uma. Went to sleep by 11:30.
28 March (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the classes by 9:20. Mohan G Ramanan took his class and presided over the joint seminar presentation of two of my classmates on the novel Waiting for the Mahatma of R K Narayan. After the seminar, he discussed the value of Gandhian principles. He talked about truth, nonviolence and the need for following the right means to achieve the right ends. In the following class, Alladi Uma presided over the seminar presentation of two of my classmates. Afternoon I knew that I did not pass the written test recently conducted by the “Career Forum Limited” of Pune. Only eight candidates were called for the interview at the CIEFL. By 2:30 started to Begumpet. Took two city buses and reached the office of the English daily The Hindu by 3:30. Handed my filled in contest form of the “HMV (His Master’s Voice) Company” and collected one prerecorded audiocassette containing old Telugu cine songs sung by Ghantasala titled “Hrudhaya Gaanam”. Thence proceeded to Secunderabad railway station area and got a few color photos printed at Jyothi Photo Studio. Also bought one kilo of grapes from a poor woman seller beside main road. Came back to our hostel by 7:30. Listened to Telugu cine songs on the tape recorder of my classmate Vijaya Krishna for some time. Went to sleep by 11:00.
29 March (Friday)
Woke up by 6:30. Today it is Hindu festival “Holi”. It is mostly a festival of north India. It is celebrated even in the other parts of India partially. The students of our university also celebrated it very well. They bought many color powders, mixed them in water and threw it at one another. Craziness and eccentricity developed in them. I don’t like this mess of throwing colors. Some of my university friends tried to apply those colors even on my body. I resisted their friendly gesture bluntly and told them that I hate this kind of dirty Hindu culture (of throwing colors at one another). Went to Serilingampally around 6:30 (in the evening) along with my classmate Vijaya Krishna by city bus. We wanted to spend some time in the polluted air of the city and eat something. We ate some fast food at a Chat Bandar (the local name for a pushcart where junk food is sold). Bought two dozen bananas, had sugarcane juice and returned to the campus by 8:00. Spent rest of my time in the hostel room and finished writing my term paper on the novel Houseboy of Ferdinand Oyono by 11:00. Struggled hard to sleep but could achieve it only around 1:30.
30 March (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:30. Called up Pramodini by 8:00 and invited her to the “Farewell Function of our Juniors to us (Seniors)” which takes place soon. She felt happy for being invited by me and said that she would certainly come to the function. Right now she is engaged in acting in the Telugu films “Manamiddharam”, a Chiranjeevi’s untitled film, “Santosham” of Nagarjuna and a film of M S Reddy which is yet to be titled. She wants to be a film actress. I advised her to leave that profession because it is not a good track for girls with traditional upbringing and moral values. May God bless her and direct her in a good way of life. Morning did not do any academic work. Sent letters to the offices of the Institute of Rail Transport at Chennai and New Delhi informing them about my inability to attend their contact classes. I have my end-of-semester exams right on those dates. Afternoon my classmate Kiran Prasad came to our hostel and shared with me the plans of his further education and the eventual employment opportunities available to him. He got lofty goals. Evening did a little written work. By 5:30 hailstorm started in our campus. Big hails rained in large number. Night called up my folks at home and enquired about their well-being. Went to sleep by 1:00.
31 March (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:30. From 9:00 to 11:00 read a book on Salman Rushdie. Rested on my iron cot from 11:00 to 12:00. By 1:30 started to city along with my friend Ramesh. We took three buses and reached Narayana Guda by 2:30. From 3:00 to 5:30 we saw the English film “Titanic” in cinema Shalimar. Previously I saw this film in Tuni. It is so interesting that one does not feel bored with it even if one sees it as many times as one can manage. We returned to our hostel by 8:00. Night watched television in our hostel for some time. The name of my Lord Gopal follows, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Went to sleep by 11:00.
1 April (Monday)
Woke up by 6:30. Today it is April Fools’ Day. On this occasion, a few told true lies with me to fool me. Today an interview with Pramodini appeared in the “Vasundhara” section of the Telugu daily Eenadu. She is known as “Lahari” in the Telugu film Industry. I call her Pramodini. She has traditional upbringing. Spiritually too she is an appreciable girl. Somehow she was attracted by the film industry, which became messy and unprincipled these days. For a traditional girl like her, this dirty film career doesn’t suit. May God bless her. Morning attended the classes of “Literary Criticism” and “The Double”. A protest went on in the campus against an offensive public notice put up by some mischievous students of the university. Afternoon attended the ELT class. We discussed the use of prescribed course material for various language teaching purposes. After this class, attended a talk on Pratyusha’s (a young and upcoming Telugu film actress) death at Ambedkar Auditorium. The speakers did not turn up in time. I left the place. I hate people that lack time sense. Evening a very hot argument took place between my junior and roommate Ravi Kanchan Chatterjee and me on the Indian traditional marriage system. Went to sleep by 11:30.
2 April (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the classes by 11:20. Mohan Ramanan discussed a few critical works on the writer R K Narayan. In between Kiran Prasad took up the issue of women’s writing. He said that any writer should not write only on a particular subject matter. Mohan Ramanan opined that one should be able to appreciate all kinds of works. Afternoon attended the ELT class. Vasantha, a professor of linguistics from Osmania University, discussed psycholinguistics. Evening went to Serilingampally to do a bit of shopping. Got typographic errors in my “Farewell Speech to our Teaching Faculty” corrected and laser printed at Balaji Xerox Center. Bought a few medicines for one of my hostel mates. Came back to hostel by 7:00. From 8:00 to 10:00 read a critical work on the novel The Man-eater of Malgudi of R K Narayan. I did it listening to recorded classical vocal music. I recorded this recently from the broadcast of Hyderabad radio on Vijaya Krishna’s tape recorder. I am getting attracted towards classical music of India. I find it inspirational and soothing. It raises human beings from physical stress to metaphysical bliss. Went to sleep by 12:00 after a clash with my two roommates.
3 April (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the classes by 9:20. Pingali Sailaja got us subjected to the guest lecture of Dr Julu Sen from the Central Institute of English and Foreign Languages (CIEFL), on the topic “Issues Related to the Predetermined and the Emergent Syllabus and Curriculum”. She is a Reader in the distance education section of the CIEFL in Hyderabad. She gave a good lecture involving us in the discussion. In the following class, Syed Mujeebuddin discussed different viewpoints related to the theme “The Double”. Afternoon went to Serilingampally to get my Curriculum Vitae laser printed at Balaji Xerox Center. I am sending my application to Chennai for a “Retail Sales Associate” position in the United Arab Emirates or Saudi Arabia. Afterwards spent some time at “Jay Digital Graphics” to get my felicitation message to Kuchipudi dance exponent Shobha Naidu digitally colored and artistically presented. But the blokes there are poor at typewriting in Telugu. Returned to hostel by 7:00. Night did a little reading on the novels of R K Narayan. Went to sleep by 10:00.
4 April (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:00. Morning washed a pair of clothes. Had my breakfast of four idlies with saambaar at our hostel mess by 8:00. Attended the classes by 9:20. Mohan Ramanan conducted an internal assessment test in his class. In the following class, Alladi Uma presided over the seminar presentation of two of my classmates. Afternoon posted my application to Chennai for the position of Retail Sales Associate in the U.A.E or Saudi Arabia. My objective in applying for this position is to check how this recruiting agency responds to me. Went to State Bank of India by 3:15 and withdrew 1000 rupees from my savings account for my monthly expenses. When scanning the English daily Deccan Chronicle at Shopping Complex, I read a news item, which stated that Sonali Joshi, an upcoming film actress in Telugu film industry, slapped Lahari across the face recently. Both of them are the heroines in the Telugu film “Manamiddharam”, which is in shooting stage. This piece of news hurt her brother Vijaya Krishna and me. We discussed it for a while. We felt the need for filing a case against her in a court of law. Arrogant people should be taught lessons by courts. Night read a critical work on the novels of Salman Rushdie. Ate roasted peanuts in our hostel room. Went to sleep by 11:00.
5 April (Friday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the classes by 9:20. Syed Mujeebuddin took his extra class and resumed his discussion on the theme “The Double”. In the following class, Pingali Sailaja showed us a video film on the methods of English Language Teaching on the television of our department in our classroom. Had my lunch by 1:30 at Student Center Canteen. Thence moved to central library to borrow a few books. It was very cool and cloudy outside. Came back to hostel by 3:00. By 4:30 it rained a bit. Did a bit of reading and then listened to some melodious Telugu cine songs on tape recorder. Freshened up myself and attended the farewell function by 7:00 at Professor Gurbaksh Singh Hall. Our juniors (the first year M.A. English students) are giving this party to us because we are leaving the English department soon. I waited a lot for the arrival of Pramodini. She did not come for some reasons. I felt very depressed. As if to fill the space of her absence, Saswati Patnaik came to the party. She is one of the traditional beauty queens of India despite her English education. May God bless her with smiles. I felt touched to receive the farewell function from our juniors. It is an unforgettable evening of sensitive emotions. Time never sympathizes with mortals. Went to sleep by 1:00.
6 April (Saturday)
Woke up by 7:30. Morning had delicious fried rice for breakfast. It was offered by my friend Ramesh. Attended the extra class of Syed Mujeebuddin by 11:00. I presented my seminar on the novel Where shall we go this summer of Anita Desai. I talked about the duality of the personality of the character Sita in this novel. Later two of my classmates presented their seminars. We had our lunch break from 1:00 to 1:50. Afterwards three of my classmates presented their seminars. By today the seminar presentations in “The Double” course came to an end. Came back to hostel by 4:30. I took my recently bought old and second-hand computer for repair to Balaji Xerox Center at Chanda Nagar in an auto rickshaw along with my classmate Chaitanya. They said that they would get it checked and buy it if they like it. Bought two dozen bananas and returned to hostel by 6:30. Kept a few books in a big cardboard box and put it in the attic in our hostel room. Night cooked ‘Maggi’ noodles for my supper in the room of Vijaya Krishna. Night I had a sweet dream. I am grateful to Lord Krishna for blessing me with such a classic dream. I am a man of dreams. Went to sleep by 1:00.
7 April (Sunday)
Woke up by 4:00. Went to computer center in our campus by 8:30 along with my classmate Chaitanya. We spent there for two hours downloading some files from the Internet related to our course. I am not good at using a computer. My brain does not work faster in these things. I did not sleep well last night. It made me sleepy while reading in the morning and evening. Morning read the book The Intimate Enemy of Ashis Nandy. Afternoon too read it for some time. By 7:00 left for Serilingampally by city bus. Went to Balaji Xerox Center and asked them about the price they can offer for my computer. They said that they can’t give me more than 1000 rupees for it. I bought it at the same price previously. I understood that it is difficult to transport it to my home. This pushed me to sell it at some price. Returned to hostel by 8:30. Called up my folks at home by 9:30. My sister-in-law Sowjanya picked it up. She came to our house along with her husband Ramesh from village Rambilli. All my folks had already slept. I like these village habits. Listened to Telugu cine songs on the tape recorder of my classmate Vijaya Krishna for some time. Slept in his room by 10:30.
8 April (Monday)
Woke up by 6:30. Washed a pair of clothes, took a bath, had my breakfast of three idlies at our hostel mess and reached our department by 9:20. The first class witnessed the last seminar presentation in our course of literary criticism under the supervision of Alladi Uma. In the following class, Syed Mujeebuddin conducted an internal assessment test. The peculiarity of this test was that, we, the students, were allowed to set our questions on the spot. All he expects from us is that we substantiate our answers with effective argument focused on main theme. I did it well. I am grateful to his liberal system of testing. By 1:00 collected the marks list of my third semester examinations from our department. By 2:20 attended the class of Pingali Sailaja. She showed us a video film titled “Teaching English to Children” on the television of our department in our classroom. This class ended by 4:00. Went to Serilingampally by 5:30 to take the money from the folks at Balaji Xerox Center for the old computer I sold them. They gave me 1000 rupees, the exact price at which I bought it previously at an auction in our university campus. I felt relieved for getting rid of it. I have neither space to keep it nor time to use it. Came back to hostel by 6:30. Ironed two pairs of my clothes. Ate the dates brought from Serilingampally for taste sake. Night did not do any academic work. Went to sleep by 10:30.
9 April (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Today we don’t have our class on R K Narayan because our instructor Mohan G Ramanan is out of station. Morning read the book The Intimate Enemy of Ashis Nandy for some time. Then took my bicycle to carry out some works. Went to post office and dispatched a parcel of the entrance test papers of our university to Hanumantha Rao, our Hindi lecturer in my B.A. course, to his postal address in Visakhapatnam. Thence proceeded to State Bank of India and paid my hostel mess fees for the month of March. Thence moved to Administrative Block and got my hall ticket of the ensuing fourth semester examinations signed at the students’ section. Came back to hostel and had my lunch by 12:30. Attended the ELT class by 2:20. Today I read out my project report on ELT in our classroom. It discusses how teachers teach English language in classrooms and how learners receive it. I focused my work on the scenario of both the English medium and Non-English medium schools. My classmates Colin and Batzaya presented their project reports after me. Later I submitted my project report to our instructor Pingali Sailaja for her evaluation. I am happy to have presented it confidently and authoritatively in our class today because it is my last classroom presentation as far as my M.A. English course of studies is concerned. I regretted this fact. Evening read the book The Intimate Enemy of Ashis Nandy for some time. Called up my folks at home by 9:00 and talked with my brother Sambha. Told him to send me 1000 rupees soon. Went to sleep by 10:00.
10 April (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the classes by 9:20. In the ELT class, two of my classmates presented their project reports. The extra class of Syed Mujeebuddin followed it. We discussed the ambiguity involved in the very notion of the “nation” which emerged very recently. The novel The Man-eater of Malgudi of R K Narayan is a representation of the microcosm of the Hindu dominant India, which can be applied to the entire nation. The Westerner projected the oriental “other” as submissive and feminine which is not true. The ancient Indian history largely consisted of internal conflicts and loss of life in battles. Afternoon watched a video film on ELT in the class of Pingali Sailaja. British Council recorded that program in 1983. Left for Kothi by 4:30 by a city bus along with my friend Ramesh of the fine arts department. We went to J B Book Center to buy a few books for me. I bought three books which comment on the novel Jane Eyre of Charlotte Brontë, the novel Midnight’s Children of Salman Rushdie and the novel A Passage to India of E M Forster. These books carry a detailed discussion of these novels. They help poor Indian English literature students like me understand the important works of great writers fast. Came back to hostel by 8:30. Went to sleep by 10:30.
11 April (Thursday)
Woke up by 7:00. Washed a pair of clothes, took a bath and had my breakfast of dosa at our hostel mess. Today also we don’t have the class of Mohan G Ramanan because he is out of station. Left for our department by 11:00. By 11:20 Alladi Uma took her class and discussed the contents of her course on literary criticism to us. She explains the points of discussion and leaves the rest to be explored by us elaborately. Had my lunch by 1:30. Today saambaar was very delicious and encouraged me to take more. Started to Kothi by 2:30 by a city bus for J B Book Center near Gokul Chat to buy some books for my roommate Ravi Kanchan Chatterjee. The struggle of the poor for existence in the city of Hyderabad can be observed in the microcosm of the street scene at the market area in Kothi. Blazing sun can do nothing with them. Snobbish men and egoistic women of India can learn something from them. They want an umbrella even for a five-minute walk in the sun or rain. One’s is existential struggle and the other’s is style. Night tried to understand the novel Midnight’s Children of Salman Rushdie but failed. I could not finish reading even the first page of it. It is one of the most boring books I came across. I never read it. I don’t like reading such books. Went to sleep by 10:00.
12 April (Friday)
Woke up by 6:30. Had my breakfast of two purees at our hostel mess by 8:30. Scanned the headlines of English daily The Hindu, to which, we, the roommates of Room No. 106, in the Men’s Hostel “A”, have been subscribing for the last two years. Left for our department by 11:00. Handed our invitation card to our Reader Pingali Sailaja requesting her presence at our “Farewell Tea Party to Teaching Faculty” scheduled to be held on the 17th of this month in our department. Attended “The Double” class of Syed Mujeebuddin by 11:20. He became infuriated at us when he knew that we did not yet read the core texts in his course such as Midnight’s Children or In Custody and on. We were much scared of his threatening visualization of our eventual failure in his course for our careless behavior. Afternoon borrowed his copy of In custody, the novel of Anita Desai, for reading it thoroughly. From 2:30 to 6:30 read it lying on my cot in our hostel room. By 7:30 attended the celebration of “Tamil New Year” by our university students at Professor Gurbaksh Singh Hall. Spent there till 8:00. Had my supper by 8:30. Read the novel In Custody of Anita Desai from 9:00 to 11:00. Went to sleep by 11:20.
13 April (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:30. Today it is the first day of the Telugu New Year “Chithra Bhanu”. I could not observe it. Afternoon there were some special dishes in our hostel mess marking this festival. Morning waited for my classmate Colin for a long time to write brief preparatory notes on the essays of the literary criticism course with his help. He did not turn up as promised. Read the novel In Custody of Anita Desai from 12:50 to 7:00. It is one of the best novels I have read. I like her flow of language and the profound philosophical essence it carries. This novel greatly impressed me. Each page of the book pushes us forward to read more. I am happy to have read such a work of art. Night touched the novel Midnight’s Children of Salman Rushdie and kept it away. It takes about 40 hours of my time to finish reading it. Because it is not interesting, I could not read it even for one minute. Night there was no availability of water in the men’s hostels. It created a sort of mess. I endured it. Went to sleep by 11:00.
14 April (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:30. Spent most of my time within the hostel reading and writing. On the occasion of the arrival of the Telugu New Year “Chithra Bhanu”, I write the name of my Lord Gopal, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Went to sleep by 11:00.
15 April (Monday)
Woke up by 6:30. Morning washed a pair of clothes. Attended the classes by 9:20. M Sridhar, a Reader in our department, gave us a guest lecture on literary criticism at the request of Alladi Uma, our course instructor. In the following class, Syed Mujeebuddin discussed the elements of the novel Midnight’s Children of Salman Rushdie. He sent those out of the classroom, who have not read it yet, despite his long persuasion. He became very angry at our careless attitude in not finishing reading core texts quite in advance before discussion takes place in the class. By 2:20 Pingali Sailaja took her class. Three of my classmates presented their project reports. Went to Administrative Block by 4:30 to get my monthly student bus pass application form signed by Deputy Registrar. Thence proceeded to B.H.E.L. bus stop and got my bus pass renewed. Came back to hostel by 6:00. Sat for the preparatory work of my term paper on “R K Narayan and his Grandmother”. It has to be written in our classroom very soon under the supervision of Professor Mohan G Ramanan. Had my supper by 8:00. Translated the Telugu version of dissertation into English for my friend Ramesh of fine arts. My classmate Narasaiah talked with me in between for some time. Went to sleep by 10:00.
16 April (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the classes by 11:20. Two of my classmates presented their joint seminar on the novel The World of Nagaraj of R K Narayan. By 2:20 Pingali Sailaja took her special class of ELT. Today it was her last class of teaching to our batch of students. Today three of my classmates presented their project reports. Evening read a book of criticism on R K Narayan’s novels. Night went to the art room of my friend Yoganand and helped him in translation of his dissertation from Telugu to English. M.F.A. Painting students have to present their dissertations in their classroom in their fourth semester. For this they need to express their subjective views on their topic of dissertation. Some of them are not good at English. So, they need somebody’s help to translate their pieces of writing into English from Telugu. It was the favor I did to this friend of mine. I sat there from 8:30 to 11:00 carrying out this project work. I am happy for extending this little help to my friend. Despite my busy schedule of preparation for the ensuing examinations, I could spend some time for him. Came back to my hostel room by 11:30. For the last ten days, we have been observing power cuts in our campus. Night power cut occurred for one hour. Went to sleep by 12:30.
17 April (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Morning saw an ad of the “Hawkins” (a company associated with pressure cookers) in the “Opportunities” section of the English daily The Hindu inviting applications for the position of “Sales Trainee”. As they stated to do, I wrote an essay of 300 words on the given topic “Why I want to Join Hawkins”. Attached other enclosures and posted my application to them. Attended “The Double” class by 11:20. Syed Mujeebuddin discussed the novel In Custody of Anita Desai. Afternoon received a letter from my brother Srinivas in Rajasthan. Attended “Our Farewell Tea Party to Teaching Faculty” by 3:00 in our classroom (No. 41). I delivered my farewell speech to the distinguished gathering sitting before me. We presented small gifts to all the teaching and office staff. Professor Sudhakar Marathe called my speech “good speech”. I felt as if I received an award of excellence. We got photos taken with our teaching faculty in the lawn before the office of our department. By 4:30 we moved to the nearby area of greenery (opposite the main entrance of Humanities Complex) to have refreshments and talk. It went on for half an hour. The celebration ended well. From 6:30 to 7:30, we, some of our male classmates, discussed the topics of “Literary Criticism” in my hostel room. I did some reading on this subject for some time. Went to sleep by 11:30.
18 April (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:30. I have got bad cold because of drinking cold water. Attended the classes by 9:20. Alladi Uma conducted an internal assessment test on “The Role of the Reader”. She allowed us to keep the course book with us for reference. I think it is a bold step she took. In the following class, Mohan Ramanan told us to talk a bit about the topics of our term papers on R K Narayan for other classmates to listen. Today’s are the last classes of “Literary Criticism” and “R K Narayan”. The respective instructors of these two courses of study expressed their unhappiness over our inevitable separation. Their parting words touched me. Examinations are there but they are merely student-oriented responses to the compulsory teacher-oriented questions. A thread of sweet bonds is going to be cut off by the orders of time. Afternoon saw the photos we took yesterday with our teaching faculty. I ordered two group photos for me. Professor Sudhakar Marathe prepared an acknowledgement letter to each one of us. I collected mine and kept it in my academic file as a sweet remembrance of our department. Night did a little reading for the internal assessment test in the ELT course. Went to sleep by 11:30.
19 April (Friday)
Woke up by 6:30. Morning washed a pair of clothes. Attended the classes by 9:20. In our last “The Double” class, Narasaiah presented his seminar on the work “Why I am not a Hindu” which explores Brahminical and Dalit aspects of caste system in India. After his seminar presentation, Syed Mujeebuddin discussed the novel In Custody of Anita Desai and the short story “Companions” of Raja Rao. He remarked that we are very bad at English and that we don’t deserve the generous marks he is giving to us in our internal assessment tests. I was hurt to know that I am very bad at English. In the following class, Pingali Sailaja conducted her last internal assessment test to us. I did it well. She is a talented teacher. We are privileged to be taught by her. Afternoon went to Serilingampally by city bus to get some of my favorite Telugu cine songs recorded into two audio cassettes. These songs provide me with a strong hope for a better tomorrow. From 4:00 to 6:30 spent at an audio recording shop. Came back to hostel by 7:30. Listened to those recorded songs till 10:30. Went to sleep by 11:00.
20 April (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:30. Went to our department by 9:00. My classmate Viswa Prasad and I got a photo taken with our professor Mohan G Ramanan. He took his class by 9:20. Today we have to write our term papers in our classroom on our chosen topics. I wrote mine on “R K Narayan and his Grandmother”. It went on till 12:30. He got tea and biscuits provided to us during this test. After this test, the students of the course on R K Narayan gathered at the main entrance of Humanities Complex and spent talking for some time. Came back to hostel by 1:30. Had my lunch and rested on cot for some time. Read a work of R K Narayan for some time. Today it is the 52nd birthday of N Chandra Babu Naidu, the present Chief Minister of Andhra Pradesh. He must be said to be a man of action. He keeps on moving ahead in thought and action with positive outlook toward future. Also today it is the sixth wedding anniversary of Lakshmi, my familiar girl. Recently she visited me in my sublime dreamland and left me with heavenly memories of the dream the following day. Only my Lord Gopal can show me such great videos in my cinema of the “other world”. Went to sleep by 12:00.
21 April (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:30. Scanned today’s dailies for some time. Read the novel Waiting for the Mahatma of R K Narayan till 10:00. Rested for one hour. By 11:00 started reading the novel The World of Nagaraj of R K Narayan. Today it is Sri Rama Navami. On this holy occasion, I write the name of my Lord Gopal, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. My salutes to Mother Saraswati. Went to sleep by 11:00.
22 April (Monday)
Woke up by 6:30. All the day stayed within the hostel room and read the novel The Man-eater of Malgudi of R K Narayan. I liked it a lot. I am an admirer of R K Narayan’s works. Night went to Men’s Hostel “D” to have special dinner being offered by them. Colin Kelman, Manohar Babu, Narasaiah and I had it happily. My thought follows, “Youth is a boon to humanity, in general. It’s an age during which the beauty of females blooms day by day. Wild passions in males force them to run after the magnetic beauty of females around. A girl’s cute smile is a heaven to an innocent boy. Admiration of beauty starts in the innocent hearts of teenagers. Parents and society disappear from the scene when one is deep in the pit of love. Old age can’t buy back those lost moments of youth in life. The world looks like a hell, which must be borne somehow until the final call. What a transformation in man depending on age! The world remains the same except the perception of beholder, which keeps changing in tune to the stage of life one is in. Somebody is definitely directing the lives of humans. Pain and suffering are the themes of His longest drama on earth planet”. Went to sleep by 11:00.
23 April (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:30. All the day stayed within the hostel and read the book Orientalism of Edward W Said and the book The Intimate Enemy of Ashis Nandy. In between slept for some time and witnessed dreams. My thought follows, “Classical arts are the reflections of the cultural heritage of a nation. They enrich the lives of the contemporary art lovers in the world. They lift the sensibility of admirers from worldly to sublime and from physical to spiritual. They provide human beings with a sense of belongingness to a different world of emotions and sensations. They can’t attract masses much because they hardly find time to enjoy the spell of these rich art forms. They flourish relying on the kind patronage of the richest in a nation. They represent the prolific creative excellence of God. Man is a creature of virtues framed and imposed by God. Only such special people can be part of the pursuit of these divine art forms. Human world loses beauty and peace in the absence of these classical arts”. Went to sleep by 10:30.
24 April (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:30. All the day stayed within the hostel. Morning washed a pair of clothes, scanned today’s dailies and had my breakfast. From 9:30 to 12:30 rested on my iron cot moving this side and that side in pensive mood. Somehow I did not like to read anything this morning. Afternoon scanned my notes on English Language Teaching. Night did not read anything. I did not move out at all. It was very hot outside. Sun is shining in his enriched mood of joy. Recently I sent my small address book with one of my classmates going to ladies hostel to be filled in by my classmates staying there. Very few filled in it. Out of them, two wrote their postal addresses in an indifferent way. Many of these girls don’t have even minimum understanding about conditions in the present society. If they don’t have that minimum sense of concern for a friend to write their details in a book, how can they face their difficult lives, which start when they live like individuals in the society? They undergo mental torture outside. The carefree environment associated with their student life, which they are enjoying here, being part of an educational institution, can’t be seen outside. Education gave them virtually nothing. Modern girls and women, who have extreme feminist tendencies, acutely suffer in their lives. Went to sleep by 10:30.
25 April (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:30. All the day stayed within the hostel and read my notes on English Language Teaching. Preparing for examinations is like courting a beautiful girl. The beauty of the girl frightens the innocent and sensitive boy initially. It is difficult to face inspiring beauty of a girl but it is necessary to get into wedlock for enjoying the sweetness of human bonds. A question paper also becomes beautiful in the motherly or fatherly care and affection of its creator. Everybody knows on which kind of topics the question paper is going to challenge the memory or wisdom of the candidates concerned. Even then it is a risky arena of tension and restlessness. The date of examination is like the day of marriage. The bridegroom counts seconds to see the beauty of his honeypot in the marriage spot in her bridal suit. The examinee also prepares and waits a lot to see the face of the question paper in examination room. The resultant happiness or depression thrives or haunts him depending on the weakness or toughness of the questions looked at on the paper. I think even God can’t avoid the worries of those seriously taking an examination. I have been facing this psychological challenge (torture) for the last 16 years. I hope God blesses me with enough energy, fortitude and wisdom to win these four battles of my coming fourth semester exams. May Mother Saraswati extend Her helping hand to me. Went to sleep by 10:30.
26 April (Friday)
Woke up by 6:30. Attended the first examination in the fourth semester of our M.A. English course of studies by 9:30. The question paper on “English Language Teaching” was given out by 10:00. Professor Sudhakar Marathe, Professor Sachidananda Mohanty and our instructor of this course Reader Pingali Sailaja played the roles of supervisors for this examination. Our instructor sat in the authoritative chair till the end of examination. Cold disturbed me a lot during this examination in the form of snivel. Came out of the examination room frequently and got rid of that hell in the supposed room. The question paper was encouraging. So, I faced it satisfactorily not minding the fuss created by my nose. Thanks to our instructor Pingali Sailaja, Mother Saraswati and Lord Gopal. Afternoon received an envelope from the Institute of Rail Transport in New Delhi. It contained a letter of intimation carrying the time schedule of the examinations it is going to conduct soon in Chennai. Came back to hostel by 1:30. Had my lunch and took a nap. From 3:00 to 5:00 scanned the subject of “Literary Criticism” course. Evening, when I was going to Non-Teaching Staff (NTS) quarters, to buy a loaf of bread at a shop over there, I fell down from my bicycle, when it skidded by the corner near our hostel. I got bruises on my right ankle, right elbow and right palm. Went to sleep by 10:30.
27 April (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:30. All the day stayed within our hostel and read the subject of our course on “Literary Criticism and Theory”. Afternoon went to the medical store in the Shopping Complex and bought some tablets. I was affected with diarrhoea recently because of eating many grapes at a time. I became weak due to this. I am lovesick for the last ten years. I need somebody to talk with me and listen to me. Friends and relatives can’t fulfill this need of human beings. Only a girl with a smiling face can cure the disease of pain of a boy like me. My youthful days are melting away in the shadows of dreams and complicated studies. There won’t be a socially acceptable and healthy male-female relationship until the male becomes financially strong enough to look after his other half. The irony is that when man is involved in the mission of earning money, he can’t honestly and dedicatedly devote his time for spending with his sweetheart. I am still at the entrance gate on this exciting journey of blissful human attachments. I don’t know how far I have to drag on this lovesick and troublesome body. May Lord Gopal direct me. Night did a little reading. Went to sleep by 10:30.
28 April (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent most of my time within the hostel. I pray my Lord Krishna to guide me well in the ensuing examination. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Went to sleep by 11:00.
29 April (Monday)
Woke up by 6:30. Sat on my chair by 9:45. The examination room was full with the students of fourth semester (my classmates). The question paper was given out by 10:00. It contained questions on “Literary Criticism and Theory” set by Professor Alladi Uma, the instructor of this course to us. I felt happy after scanning its contents. Did it well till 1:00. Came back to hostel by 1:30. Had my lunch and took a nap. Read a work of criticism on R K Narayan’s novels for some time. Around 4:30 went on a small walk toward the NTS quarters for a bit of eating. Our batch of walkers included my classmates Colin, Emanuel, Narasaiah and Manohar Babu. Narasaiah and I returned to our hostels in a short time. Others walked ahead into the adjacent collection of bushes to see the beauty of sun setting behind clouds. Took a bath and had my supper by 7:30 in our hostel mess. By 8:00 I gave a little soft drink party to my classmates. I added “Sunfill” powder to a few glasses of water and gave that nutritious drink to my classmates who had just returned finishing their expedition into the forest on campus. Night my roommate Samanta Sahu took the initiative to apply a little coconut oil to the noisy ceiling fan in our hostel room. It has been so for long. Night did a little reading on R K Narayan. Went to sleep by 11:30.
30 April (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:30. All the day stayed within our hostel and read a work of criticism on R K Narayan’s novels. It gives me great pleasure to read the works of R K Narayan or others’ writings on his works. His novels portray the pleasures and problems of the middle class. This world is full of different human relationships. He is interested in them and makes others read about them interestingly. I am happy to have taken this course on R K Narayan. I could feel the spell of his fiction by reading many of his works. I could find how appealing his narration of the events is. I have to read his other works in course of time. I like jaggery and his mastery alike. He is a south Indian. He painted the south Indian way of life in his works. He is a Hindu. He tried to tell others about the beauty of Hinduism through his writings. It was very hot outside. I am lucky to own a hostel room now. Many are suffering in the hot sun. This is the last month in my academic life. I like this month a lot. Went to sleep by 11:30.
1 May (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Went to our department by 9:30. Took an application form to apply for the student railway concession form. Filled in it and got it attested by K Narayana Chandran, our Head of the Department. He quickly acts toward the needs of students in our department. From 10:00 to 1:00 took my fourth semester examination on R K Narayan. The core texts in this course are Swamy and Friends; The English Teacher; Waiting for the Mahatma; The Man-eater of Malgudi; The World of Nagaraj; Gods, Demons and Others and his memoirs My Days. The instructor of this course is Professor Mohan G Ramanan (he likes being called ‘MGR’), a Tamil Brahmin, resembling R K Narayan’s social identity. Had my lunch, went to Administrative Block and collected the student railway concession form for my onward journey from Hyderabad to Narsipatnam Road. There won’t be issuance of concession form for our return journey because we are no more the students of this university. Went to Hyderabad railway station and got a second-class berth reserved for me for the 10th of this month to Godavari Express. Came back to hostel by 6:30. Took a head bath by 7:30. Had my supper in our hostel mess by 8:00. Read a work of criticism on the novel A Passage to India of E M Forster for some time. These days I am having “Sunfill” mixed drink before going to bed. Went to sleep by 11:00.
2 May (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:30. All the day stayed within the hostel and scanned the text of the core texts of the course “‘The Double’ in Colonial and Postcolonial Fiction: Nations and Narratives”. Reader Syed Mujeebuddin is the instructor of this course. He suggested the following core texts for our thorough study: the play The Tempest of William Shakespeare, the novel The Heart of Darkness of Joseph Conrad, the novel Jane Eyre of Charlotte Brontë, the novel The Wide Sargasso Sea of Jean Rhys, the novel The Man-eater of Malgudi of R K Narayan, the novel Midnight’s Children of Salman Rushdie, the novel A Passage to India of E M Forster, the novel In Custody of Anita Desai, the novel Rich Like Us of Nayantara Sahgal and the short story “Companions” of Raja Rao. We could not get Sahgal’s work anywhere. So, he removed it from our course. He provided us with insights into the multiple facets of human psyche and the idea of nation. He has biased outlook on Hindu majority India. He gives much freedom to students in internal assessment tests and assignments. He does not take care of his physical appearance. He always looks busy. He looks lazy in his walk. He enjoys carefree life. Took a bath by 7:15. Had my supper by 8:00. Did a little reading till 9:30. Went to sleep by 10:30.
3 May (Friday)
Woke up by 6:30. Today I have the last examination in my M.A. English course of studies in the University of Hyderabad. Sat on my chair in the examination room by 9:40. Did the examination well. Our course instructor Syed Mujeebuddin set us a good question paper. He gave eight questions on eight core texts, which are very important. Today I actively fought with the question paper with my sharp and analytical presentation of answers. It might be because he gave us straightforward questions. Professor K Narayana Chandran, the Head of the English Department, gave individual letters to all of us fourth semester students sharing his official parting words with us. Came back to hostel by 1:30 with an abundance of happiness one feels after one’s last examination. Took my borrowed books back to our department and central library to return them and get their signatures on my “No Dues” form, which has to be signed by all the heads of the concerning sections of the administration of the university. Went to Computer Center and Administrative Block also for this purpose. Evening attended the dinner party given by Professor Sudhakar Marathe and his wife at their quarters in our university campus. First year students (our juniors) and we enjoyed eating delicacies and feeling the great time a lot. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 11:00.
4 May (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:30. Listened to melodious Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time to celebrate fine morning. Morning they served tasteless breakfast to us. So, I avoided it. Actually we get quality food in our hostel messes. I found 90 percent of my hostel life enjoyable here. Went to Serilingampally by 9:30 by city bus. Had my breakfast of two idlies at “Vindu Restaurant” in Chanda Nagar. Thence proceeded to “Jay Digital Graphics” in “Vijaya Raghava Chambers”. Met the “jdg” folks to get my poetry piece of admiration to Kuchipudi dance exponent Shobha Naidu done artistically. I wrote 20 lines of poetry in Telugu being inspired by her commendable performance at Ravindra Bharati on 20th March. The technical folks over here and I applied our creative faculty and gave the written piece an artistic look. There is a rising sun in the background and the lettering is in white. The photo of Shobha Naidu is added in two places in her dancing pose. They charged 300 rupees for this work. Had my lunch at Vindu Restaurant and came back to hostel by 2:00. Attended the work of “No Dues” form for some time. Went to sleep by 10:00.
5 May (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:30. Had my breakfast at the small canteen in the Shopping Complex. Took a city bus up to Gachibowli junction. Thence took an auto rickshaw up to Kothaguda junction. Thence took an auto rickshaw up to Yousufguda. Bought a few sweets and some sachets of “Sunfill” to take to the house of Pramodini. Reached their rented apartment at Yellareddyguda by 9:30. Pramodini, her father Poorna Chandra Rao, her mother Haripriya Devi and a relative of them were there. She looked weak due to film shootings she was involved in for quite some time. Till now she acted in Telugu feature films “Ammo Okato Thaareeku”, “Youth”, “College”, “Manamiddharam”, “Indra”, “Santosham” and “Vachchinavaadu Sooryudu”. She is trying to establish herself as a heroine at the earliest. She is a good girl with spiritual outlook on life but chose to act in films for fame. I pray Lord Gopal to direct her in a good way of life. May all gods and goddesses bless her. She talked a lot and showered much affection upon me. Her parents are also good ones. I spent talking with them till 4:00. Came back to hostel by 7:00 taking a difficult journey through the congested city. My classmate Viswa Prasad offered me part of the parcel of vegetable biryani he brought from a hotel. It was my supper for the night. Night enjoyed fresh air strolling through the campus for some time. Went to sleep by 9:30.
6 May (Monday)
Woke up by 6:30. Had my breakfast of three idlies at Student Center Canteen. Thence proceeded to our post office to enquire if I got the Money Order of 1000 rupees sent from my home. I wrote home to send me this much of money because I have to pack my things and send them to our house. I bought a second-hand bicycle in my third semester from my hostel mate Sharma. I have to trouble much to send this vehicle to home. Withdrew 500 rupees from State Bank of India and paid the fees in the form of chalan for my educational certificates to be issued by the university. Submitted my “No Dues” form at the academic section in the Administrative Block. Gave my five novels written by R K Narayan to Rajendra Goud, Personal Assistant to Vice Chancellor of this university. He is an admirer of works of R K Narayan. I am donating these books to the library in our department. K Narayana Chandran, the present Head of Department of English, told me to give these books to this person. He would return them to our department after reading them. Went to Kothi by city bus to return my purchased books at “J B Books” near Gokul Chat. Came back to Mehdipatnam by 2:00 and had my lunch at “Andhra Deluxe Mess”. Thence walked toward Rethibowli enquiring about the location of the branch office of “Navata Road Transport”. Got the necessary information from this office and came back to hostel by 4:00. Rested on my iron cot for two hours. Went to Serilingampally by city bus to collect the digitally enhanced memento to Kuchipudi dance exponent Shobha Naidu. It was not ready. Got a mini meal packed at Vindu Restaurant. Came back to hostel by 7:30. Took a bath by 8:30. Had my parcel supper by 9:30. Packed my books and some other items in a cardboard box with the help of my classmate Viswa Prasad. Went to sleep by 11:30.
7 May (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Had my breakfast by 8:30 at NRS (New Research Scholars) Hostel. Spent in my hostel room till 10:30. Then went to our post office to enquire about the arrival of the Money Order from our home. It has not arrived yet. Thence proceeded to our department. By that time our teaching faculty were in a meeting. I gave my laser printed postal address slips to Nagarajan, the clerk in our department. Told him to redirect the mail to my home address after I leave the campus. Then proceeded to Serilingampally by city bus to collect my memento to Kuchipudi dance exponent Shobha Naidu. Paid him 300 rupees and took it. Came back to hostel by 1:30. Collected a cheque for 291 rupees from the office of our hostel. It is the balance of the caution deposit I paid them when I joined this hostel. Went to State Bank of India and deposited it for its credit to my savings account. Withdrew 900 rupees. It is for my expenses for the journey back to home. My friend Ramesh and I went to the office of “Navata Road Transport” at Mehdipatnam and booked my bicycle and a small cardboard box of books to Adduroad. We hired a seven-seater auto rickshaw for 100 rupees from our campus for this purpose. After this work, we went to “Kuchipudi Art Academy” at Domal Guda to hand my memento to Shobha Naidu. Came back to hostel by 9:00. Went to sleep by 11:30.
8 May (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:30. Morning washed a pair of clothes. Had my breakfast of dosa at NRS Hostel. To avoid tanning and dehydration, remained in the hostel room much part of the morning. Afternoon bought 250 grams of black grapes from the stall at Shopping Complex for my lunch. They were sour but I ate them. Had a bit of noodles also offered by my friends. These days I am getting attracted toward noodles. Evening went to Mehdipatnam along with my friends Ramesh and Yoganand. They bought vegetables and rice at Rythu Bazar there. Meanwhile I went to some nearby stationery stores to know about the availability of beautiful letterheads. I could not find anything attractive from the ones they showed me. Nobody has taste to design and print classic and artistic letterheads. Bought four company audiocassettes of Telugu cine songs at an audio store there. Came back to hostel by 6:30. Joined my friend Veeranjaneyulu to prepare something for our supper. He cooked rice. Meanwhile I went to a shop at NTS quarters and bought some tomatoes and packets of curd. We could finish our cooking activity by 9:30. Then we ate it hungrily. Then I brought a tape recorder from one of our hostel mates and listened to Telugu cine songs on it for some time. I am feeling deserted without my bicycle and a tape recorder. These are good friends to an ordinary man of my position. Today it was very hot outside. The sun is actively working in the sky. Went to sleep by 12:00.
9 May (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:30. Had my breakfast at the small canteen in the Shopping Complex. Thence went to our post office to enquire about the arrival of the Money Order from my home. It has not arrived yet. Came back to hostel by 10:30 and listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. By 12:00 left for Serilingampally by city bus to see the Telugu film “Santhosham” of Nagarjuna. This film was released to cinemas today. The main reason behind seeing this film today itself is that my friend Pramodini, known as Lahari in films, also acted in this film. I want to see her performance in this film. Had my lunch at a hotel near cinema Sridevi. It was still 1:00. I had much time for the film. Today I had five glasses of sugarcane juice with breaks in between. Now thirst is haunting me like a villain. One feels like drinking an ocean to appease one’s thirst in this powerful Indian summer in May. Matinée starts by 3:30 here. I waited before cinema Sridevi for more than three hours. Watched the film between 3:30 and 6:15. Lahari appeared in four or five small scenes only. Hers is a trivial character in this film. She acted well. May God bless her and see that her wishes are fulfilled in the best way. She is a very spiritual girl. I don’t think God does not know how to guide her. Went to sleep by 10:30.
10 May (Friday)
Woke up by 6:30. Had my breakfast by 8:30 at NRS Hostel. Spent most of the time within the Room No. 106 of Men’s Hostel “A”. Today I am vacating this room after two years of my academic association with it as an M.A. English literature student in this university. I had a memorable hostel life in this room. My roommate Samanta Sahu had been very good toward me during these two years. My junior Ravi Kanchan Chatterjee joined it during my second academic year. He is a hypocrite as an individual. As a student of English literature, he is competent. Our university provided us with a ceiling fan (one for three), a table (one for one), an iron cot (one for one) and a chair (one for one). I faced power cut and water scarcity problems on one or two days only during these two academic years. I like my hostel room a lot. I enjoyed my university life 60 percent. There were moments of distress and depression. I think they are part of celebration of life. Unless there is strain and pain in one’s life, it does not look attractive to one. Samanta Sahu, his friend Rajasri (she wants to marry him. He could plant that desire in her heart after much effort in that direction) and I reached Hyderabad railway station by 3:00 taking a city bus and an auto rickshaw. My classmate Viswa Prasad is also coming by the same train. My friends saw me off on the Platform No. 5 when I was in Godavari Express. I took my Berth No. 32 in the Sleeper Class coach No. 8. The train started from platform by 5:15, its scheduled departure time. It is taking me back to my home after two years of my education in Hyderabad, the present capital city of Andhra Pradesh. My association with the twin cities for these two years had been sweet and memorable. The beautiful nature in our university campus is inspiring and energizing for me. I hardly slept during the train journey.
11 May (Saturday)
Got off Godavari Express by 5:15 at Narsipatnam Road railway station. A rickshaw puller offered his service for me to Peda Gummuluru at a charge of 15 rupees. I accepted his offer and got into it with my two suitcases and a bag. Gateman locked the gate at the level crossing and went somewhere to have his morning tea. We waited for him for half an hour. We could not wait any more. We somehow managed to move the vehicle to the other end with the help of the driver of a bullock cart obstructed over there like us. Reached my home by 8:00. Freshened up myself, had my breakfast and left for our mango garden at the hills by 9:30 along with my brother Sambha. We have two bicycles for both of us. We reached there by 10:30. My brother and my paternal uncle Narayana Murthy Raju left for their scheduled tasks (collecting cashewnuts from trees) in the garden. I stayed back at the thatched house of my uncle talking with my aunt Kumari. Very recently a hand pump was arranged near the house of my uncle. Unavailability of water has been a big problem over here for five decades. The facility of this hand pump by the owners of this vast mango and cashew garden by hills is a great relief to the buyers of seasonal mango crop and my uncle. I remained on mat throughout the day listening to radio and being greeted by hot winds of summer. We returned home by 7:00. Went to sleep by 9:30.
12 May (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:30. Spent most of my time within our house. Spent much of my time listening to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder and resting on bed. Many know about the problems of power cut in villages. It may be off at any time. Nobody dares question the blokes about these irregularities in power supply. Today it was very hot. Only drinking water is welcome to brain. Let one be inside or outside one’s house, the effect of weather has to be borne by one helplessly. They say that temperatures are increasing throughout the world year after year due to environmental degradation caused by industrialization and selfish behavior of modern man toward nature. These high temperatures lead to floods. The safety of present generation is under threat in this environment. In Dwapara Yuga, Lord Krishna saved His devotees lifting mountain with His little finger. This is Kali Yuga. This age sees much of the world filled with sinners and criminals. A number of natural and man-made calamities are frightening common people. Modern man is able to predict the time of occurrence of natural calamities but not to prevent their effects. Good people can’t live happily in this bad age. People with skills to earn adequate amount of money only can live securely. Some are committing suicides being unable to earn money. There is no value to one’s life unless one is materially very rich. Life does not go on well without money. It is a world of money. It would be better if spiritualists and moralists move to the Himalayas for meditation. Went to sleep by 9:30.
13 May (Monday)
Woke up by 6:30. Morning listened to Telugu cine songs on our tape recorder for two hours. Then went to post office (in Peda Gummuluru) to post a letter to Shobha Naidu, the Kuchipudi dance exponent, living in Hyderabad, running the “Kuchipudi Art Academy”, meant for training young aspirants interested in learning this classical art. I wrote six pages of letter to her. This letter explains her why I recently presented her the memento in Telugu verse carrying my admiration for her. I was deeply impressed by her spectacular performance at Ravindra Bharati. Had a glass of buffalo milk (my mother heated it adding sugar to it) and went to Adduroad on my bicycle. Opened the shutters of “Shiva Ganapathi Tent House” being run by my brother Sambha and his partner. Took our tape recorder and a few audio cassettes of Telugu cine songs to the tent house. In this season, there won’t be rush in this business. So, I simply sat in a chair and listened to songs for some time. Closed it by 12:50 and returned home by 1:00. The local substation is currently imposing its scheduled power cut between 11:00 and 5:00. I tried to sleep for a while but failed. It was very hot outside. One can hardly sleep without the help of a circling fan in this hot season. Evening went to the house of my uncle Rama Raju at Raja Venkata Nagaram and stayed there for the night. Talked with my cousin Narendra Varma about his present education and the steps to be taken by him in future in that direction. I enjoy air here. Went to sleep by 9:30.
14 May (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:00. Brushed my teeth with a margosa twig. Returned home by 7:00 on my bicycle. Stayed at home till 11:00 listening to melodious Telugu cine songs on our tape recorder. Then went to the tent house of my brother at Adduroad. There I don’t have any work to do except to sit in a chair and doze off. Instead of that I resumed writing the letter to Pramodini, which I started earlier. My Lord Gopal and my Mother Saraswati blest her friendship to me. My life turned delightful since the day I met her for the first time on my last birthday. It’s my privilege to write long letters to her. The present one is also one of such letters. I don’t like to miss her. May all gods and goddesses bless me to invite her into my life. I don’t want heaven if I can get her as my lifelong goddess. It was very sultry there and so I could not write more than one page. Came back to home and took a siesta till 2:30. Then continued writing the letter to Pramodini. The 20-page book of letterheads was over by 3:00. Then packed it neatly. Went to tent house by 4:00. Spent there till 6:30. By 5:30 it started raining with whirlwinds. Light objects rose up in the rush of winds. It’s a bit of relief to the scorched creatures in our locality. Went to sleep by 9:30.
15 May (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:00. Went to our post office by 8:30 and posted the letter to Lahari. May God bless the letter and satisfy the sensitive mind of my sweetheart. I consider myself as a king if my letter can please her even a bit. She has become part of my life these days. I can’t think of the world without associating her with it. May all gods and goddesses bless her with success and happiness. Went to village Purushothapuram by 9:30 by bus along with my uncle and sister-in-law Kranti. There is the ceremony of applying saris to two girls for the first time. These people are good at celebrating every considerable event of a woman’s life. Had my lunch there and returned home by 1:00. Most of the day it was cloudy and cool today. Went to our mango grove by 3:00 along with my uncle Narayana Murthy. Collected the mangoes from under our three trees, which are kept reserved for us, as per the mutual informal agreement reached, at the time of the sale of this seasonal crop to the present buyer. Came back to home by 6:00 with a small load of mangoes tied at the back of my bicycle. Night also it was cool. Listened to Telugu cine songs on our tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00.
16 May (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:30. Morning listened to Telugu cine songs for some time. Left for Etikoppaka by 9:30 on my bicycle. This village is four kilometers from Adduroad. I went there riding my bicycle to prove my physical strength to myself. Reached State Bank of India by 10:30. The staff of the bank did not arrive in time. I was very tired due to long bicycle ride in sultry weather. Waited at the bank for the idiots for one hour. Withdrew 1000 rupees from my savings account. They took a long time for this simple transaction of payment of a little money to me. The road is very bad. Dust covers body if one takes the adventure of walking or driving a vehicle on it. Returned home by 12:30. Afternoon spent at home. Evening too listened to Telugu cine songs on our tape recorder. Today it was cool and cloudy. I recently met many people to talk about the business of dairy farm. It’s a good business and suits villages. Many discouraged me in this regard. Conservative thinking prevails in India. An educated fellow like me is not supposed to do a business like dairy farm. I am very firm on starting up a dairy unit. I have to face challenges on my path. Night talked with my folks for some time. Went to sleep by 10:00.
17 May (Friday)
Woke up by 6:30. Morning spent much of my time at home. Afternoon spent some time at the tent house. My brother Srinivas took his color television to Ambala cantonment. We have a big Philips tape recorder at home. I am using it the best. I like listening to select Telugu cine songs on tape recorder. This is what I have been doing ever since I came back from the University of Hyderabad. Right now only Pramodini is there to occupy my space of admiration. She is the best gift blest to me by God in Hyderabad. Everybody craves for a feeling of belongingness at some stage of life. I am in search of a good girl to love and to be loved. Pramodini deserves my admiration. I like her spiritual aspect of life despite her recent involvement in the Telugu film industry. I almost led a Brahminical lifestyle so far except consuming meat now and then. I like the spiritual dimension of the Brahminical way of life. I would lead such life in future. Night listened to Telugu cine songs for some time. Went to sleep by 9:30.
18 May (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:00. Today there is the “Upanayanam” occasion of my cousin Raghupati at Raja Venkata Nagaram. In today’s cinema section of the Telugu daily Eenadu, there was the news of the release of the Telugu feature film “Manamiddharam” in the second week of the coming month. Recently the present chief minister Chandra Babu Naidu released its audio (the songs of the film) in Hyderabad. My sweetheart Lahari is a heroine in that film. She has considerable talent in acting. Cut off the advertisement part of the newspaper and kept it carefully. Reached Raja Venkata Nagaram by 10:00 along with my brother Sambha, my uncle Narayana Murthy and my uncle Appala Raju. My maternal uncles Varma and Krishnam Raju also came from Gollalagunta to attend this ceremony. It is heard that the bride party is offering property worth one crore rupees to the bridegroom as a gesture of respect (dowry). So, the attendees felt high about the bridegroom. Returned home by 2:30. Some of our relatives (who came to attend the aforesaid ceremony) paid a visit to our house. We offered “Sunfill” mixed drink to them. Evening I had a round of visits to the houses of my paternal uncles in this village. Spent much of my time with my paternal uncle Srinivasa Raju. Evening saw the Telugu film “Manasanthaa Nuvve” in cinema Venkatapathi Raju Mahal at Adduroad along with him. Went to sleep by 10:30.
19 May (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:00. Spent most of my time within our house. Whenever there was electricity supply, listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder. By 4:00 went to Adduroad. Night there is the marriage of one of our relatives in village Durgada. So, we are all going to that place by bus to attend it. It was fully filled. We started at Adduroad by 5:00 and reached Durgada by 7:30. I went to the house of my maternal aunt Bhaskaram in that village by 8:00 from the venue of marriage. Talked with them for some time. My aunt offered me some mango fruit. Had my dinner at the venue of marriage by 9:00. Went back to the house of my uncle and slept there till 1:00. Came back to the venue of marriage by 1:15. The bride is beautiful. The bridegroom is not handsome. I like to attend as many marriages as possible. Everybody knows that death is the destination of mortals. This realization makes man look for comfort and happiness on his journey toward death. Marriage is one of the happiest occasions of one’s life. A formal celebration symbolizing the union of two bodies and two lives brings much happiness to all. Watching the ceremony of a marriage makes the attendees remember that life can be beautiful and happy when two creatures come together to live together forever. I enjoyed the occasion of this marriage and bus journey. I could not sleep well.
20 May (Monday)
Reached home by 6:30 getting off the wedding party bus at Adduroad. Took a head bath (in the Indian context, head bath means one’s bath including one’s hair on one’s head. Many Indians, both men and women, occasionally wash their heads. I am also one of such creatures), ate my breakfast and tried to sleep to recover from the weariness caused by sleeplessness last night. I could not sleep. Read the Telugu daily Eenadu for some time. It was very hot outside. Awful temperatures are being reported from all over the state of Andhra Pradesh. The ill and the old, hit by sunstroke, are dying just like that. It is believed that “Global Warming” is seriously affecting the environment in the world. By 12:15 received a letter from Shobha Naidu, the Kuchipudi dance exponent from Hyderabad. I am one of her admirers. It is her reply to my recently sent letter to her. She expressed happiness over the substance of my letter. It is an excellent reply from such great artist. She is a star of Kuchipudi dance. From 1:00 to 3:00 wrote a reply to her letter. It came to six pages. The body of this letter carries my innermost feelings of admiration for this art form and her commendable contribution to the growth of this classical art. Evening went to an audio store at Adduroad and ordered some Telugu cine songs to be recorded into a few audio cassettes. Had my haircut. Went to sleep by 10:00.
21 May (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:00. Went to post office by 8:00 and posted the letter to Shobha Naidu in Hyderabad. Came back to home, listened to Telugu cine songs for some time, read the newspaper for some time and then started to Raja Venkata Nagaram to meet my uncle Rama Raju. Reached there by 9:30. He, one of his relatives and I left for the nearby village Gudivada by 12:30 on his scooter. My uncle and I went to State Bank of India and met the branch manager. We enquired him about the rationale for taking out an agricultural loan of 2, 50,000 rupees for starting up a dairy unit. He said that our village does not fall under their bank’s service area and so he can’t attend my request for a loan. He advised me to go to another bank. Came back to Adduroad by 1:30 in an auto rickshaw. Told my brother Sambha about what happened at the bank. Then went to Visakha Grameena Bank at Adduroad and met its branch manager. He said that their bank can’t make such high amounts of loans to customers without consulting their higher authorities at the head office. He assured me that he would try his best to make a loan to me. Left for our mango garden at hills by 4:00 along with my uncle Rama Raju (this paternal uncle recently came to Peda Gummuluru from Bhoopalapatnam, the village of his in-laws near Rajahmundry in East Godavari district) on bicycle. We collected 70 Suvarnarekha mangoes and started back to home. We returned home by 6:30. We waited for the local palmist Gopalam at the tent house in Adduroad for some time. He did not turn up. Went to sleep by 10:00.
22 May (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:00. Spent much of my time at the tent house in Adduroad. Spent some time at home watching the hot weather outside. After returning from the University of Hyderabad, I am obsessed with the idea of starting up a dairy unit. Everybody I met discouraged me. The branch manager of State Bank of India at Etikoppaka told me that our village does not fall under their service area. The branch manager of State Bank of India in village Gudivada also told me the same. He advised me to go to Visakha Grameena Bank in Adduroad. This fellow told me that he would have to write to their head office to know whether such a big amount of loan can be made (I am a new customer to them no!). Unless I do some business, I can’t earn enough money to marry the girl I am interested in. My folks at home are also very negative in this regard from the beginning. They want me to get a job and live happily like others. What can vibrant youth do in this kind of regressive atmosphere even at home? I don’t know whether there is God or not! I don’t know why He throws humans into hell even when they are alive. Went to sleep by 9:30.
23 May (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:00. Morning read the newspaper for some time, listened to radio for some time and rested on bed for some time. Called up my friend Viswa Prasad in Visakhapatnam by 10:00. Went to the house of my paternal aunt Subhadra by 10:30. Spent there watching television from 11:00 to 2:00. Had my lunch by 2:30. These days my mind is not accepting rice unless the accompanying curry or soup is also so delicious that it can’t be resisted. Drinking very cold water is not good for teeth but one gets tempted to do it in this hot season. Today it was very hot outside. Sweat is the essence of a living human body in summer in this region. Afternoon remained at home only being discouraged from doing anything against the frightening weather outside. We are victimized by the magic of electricity. If there is no power, there is no possibility to sleep at night. However, during the last four days, it was cool. Earlier hot winds blew throughout. Evening went to Adduroad and spent talking with my friends for two hours. From 8:00 to 9:00 listened to songs on tape recorder. This summer affected me so badly that even my handwriting turned ugly. Went to sleep by 10:00.
24 May (Friday)
Woke up by 5:00. Listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. This morning my brother Srinivas called us up from his army station at Bathinda in Punjab. My mother is tense over war situation in India. He said that he is safe in all the ways. He invited me to come to Ambala cantonment and spend a few days happily with my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani and my nephew Suhas. He told me to go to Kondala Agraharam and meet his company mate Narayana Raju to talk with him about the point of the reservation of my train ticket to Ambala cantonment to go there along with him soon. Had my lunch and left for Narsipatnam by 12:30 by bus. Thence took a bus to Kondala Agraharam. My expected candidate was out of village. Talked with him over telephone. Started back to Narsipatnam by 3:30. It turned very cool. Waited in the bus station for half an hour for my expected bus. Reached home by 5:30. Evening talked with the local priest Gopalam about his brother-in-law’s daughter being fixed to my friend Vijaya Krishna for marriage. From 8:30 to 9:00 tried to talk with Lahari over telephone but my call was not received. Went to sleep by 10:00.
25 May (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:00. All the day stayed within the limits of our village. Last night it rained a little. Today it was very cool and cloudy. I felt as if I were in Ooty or Manali. I enjoyed it a lot. This sudden change in air revitalized my tired abode. I thank Lord Gopal for this heavenly climate. Morning tried to talk with Lahari in Hyderabad over telephone. Perhaps she must have gone on a film shooting tour along with her mother. I was disappointed for being unable to talk with her over telephone at least. I have to reach important news to her. From 2:00 to 4:30 took a class to my friend Ganga Raju to teach him some English grammar points to help him in his preparation for the entrance examination into B.Ed. course. Evening talked with the paternal grandmother of my fried Vijaya Krishna in Vijayawada over telephone. He was not available. I asked her to tell him to call me up as soon as he returns home. Night listened to Telugu cine songs for some time. Went to sleep by 10:30.
26 May (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:00. My father went on a tour to the places in South India and my brother Sambha went to attend a marriage of one of our familiar ones. By 10:00 went to Adduroad and called up Pramodini in Hyderabad. She picked up the telephone in their rented apartment. She came back finishing her weeklong tour to the house of in-laws of her eldest brother in Madras. She said that she spent there happily playing with her nephew (her brother’s son). He is two years old. I knew about her film matters also. I feel very happy talking with her. She recharged my psyche with her affectionate and sweet words with me. She asked me to write a piece of poetry in Telugu praising Telugu film actor Chiranjeevi. She wants to present a memento to him. I finished writing it by 11:00. It was raining and so stimulating to write a letter also to her. Went to Adduroad by 2:00. Helped my brother Sambha at the tent house in putting back the items after they got dried up for some time in the sun. On the way, went to the weekly market in Adduroad and bought vegetables for us. Came back to home by 5:30. Listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. Then tuned in to Visakha FM to listen to the live Telugu cine songs requested by listeners. Simultaneously I recorded a few songs into an audio cassette. Night too recorded some Telugu cine songs when they were being broadcast on FM radio. Went to sleep by 11:00.
27 May (Monday)
Woke up by 5:00. Went to Adduroad by 8:30 and spent at the tent house for some time. Came back to home by 9:00. Took an auto rickshaw and moved to Darlapudi. Thence took an auto rickshaw and went to Etikoppaka. Met Rambabu, a familiar cashew nut merchant, and asked him to show me quality cashew nuts. He readily agreed and got a gunny bag of cashew nuts poured out for me to pick up the bigger ones. His son also helped me in the work of picking up good ones. We did it for more than one hour. Saw that 17 kilograms of cashew nuts were weighed and bagged. I collected them to offer to Pramodini. She said that she likes cashew a lot. Then went to State Bank of India and withdrew 2000 rupees for my expenses. Returned home by 1:30. Had my lunch and took a siesta. Went to Adduroad and spent at the tent house from 3:30 to 6:00 talking with my friends. Today it was hot again. Still it is summer. Night ate three mango fruit. Listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 10:30.
28 May (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:00. Went to our mango garden at hills by 8:30 along with my brother Sambha. We collected 40 mangoes from four trees to send to Lahari in Hyderabad. We returned home by 9:00. Spent some time at the tent house in Adduroad. Then went to Visakha Grameena Bank to talk with field officer about the point of taking out a loan from them. He said that their bank can’t make such high amounts of loans. I got infuriated at all these bank idiots and so started writing letters to the higher authorities complaining about these scoundrels. Also wrote a very serious and long letter to the branch manager of State Bank of India at Etikoppaka. Sent postcards with serious words even to the branch manager of State Bank of India at Gudivada. Evening started to our mango grove on bicycle. It started raining by the time I crossed Kothuru. By the time I reached the house of my uncle, it turned into hailstorm. Big hails fell down. Returned home by 6:00. Night packed mangoes in a cardboard box to send to Lahari in Hyderabad. Wrote even a letter of instructions on how to deal with mango fruit. I pray God to see that these mangoes are safely reached to them and they eat them happily. Went to sleep by 10:00.
29 May (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:00. Took the cardboard box of mangoes to the branch office of Navata Road Transport in Adduroad and booked it to Lahari in Hyderabad. It weighed 12 kilograms. I paid 60 rupees to him and addressed it to its Erragadda branch in Hyderabad. Lahari and her mother are presently staying at Yellareddyguda. I packed these mangoes very carefully. It moves from here tomorrow by lorry. I wish them a safe journey. Then went to post office and posted a letter to the zonal office of State Bank of India in Visakhapatnam complaining to the regional manager about the branch manager of State Bank of India at Gudivada. Afternoon went to Tuni railway station for getting a second-class berth reserved for me to Ambala Cantonment for my journey soon. They told me to get it done at Visakhapatnam. On my way back, enquired a few professionals over there in the thatched huts by market road about the charges for taking the cashew out from the nuts. Returned home by 4:30 by bus. I enjoyed the bus journey a lot because it was very cloudy and cool outside. Breezes healed my weak body and psyche. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 10:00.
30 May (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:00. Left for our mango garden by 5:45 on my bicycle. By the time I reached the house of my uncle, I was sweating a lot. It was very sultry. Put off my shirt and allowed fresh air to blow across me. Came back to home by 9:30 with a small load of mangoes at the back of my bicycle. Stayed at home from 10:00 to 2:30. Listened to radio for some time. Evening my father returned finishing his 15-day long South Indian tour, partly funded by the Etikoppaka Cooperative Sugar Factory in Darlapudi, where he is currently working as a boiler attendant. They visited tourist spots in Tamil Nadu, Karnataka and Andhra Pradesh in which Bangalore, Shravana Belagola, Mysore, Mantralayam, Maha Nandi, Sri Sailam, Tirupati and Bhadrachalam are a few. He said that he liked Ooty a lot. He spent 1700 rupees for this tour. He got his head tonsured at the shrine of Lord Venkateswara in Tirupati. Afternoon attended the work of taking out the sweet things from a jackfruit. He bought it in Sileru. It is a sticky work. I regretted my proactive step in that direction. Later I consoled myself with self-criticism, “Somebody must do it. Why can’t you be it? Don’t be an escapist. It is a bad human quality. Don’t get spoilt by it”. Today it was hot and cool. Evening went to Adduroad and bought Emami shaving cream, Emami aftershave and Navratna hair oil. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00.
31 May (Friday)
Woke up by 5:00. Morning went to our mango grove on my bicycle to bring some mangoes from our reserved trees. My brother Sambha and I started from our house by 6:30 and reached there by 7:30. Returned home by 10:00. Afternoon went to the house of my paternal aunt Subhadra to watch television for some time. Watched the Telugu feature film “Agni Parvatham” on Gemini television channel till 6:30. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. Last night Lahari called me up from Hyderabad around 9:30. I felt blissful. She is all to me now. After years of internal solitary life, I got her as my friend by the direction of Lord Gopal. I felt as if heaven was falling upon me as long as she was talking with me over telephone. Her voice is sweet. I enjoyed it. She expressed her happiness for getting me as her friend. It is like a goddess talking with her helpless and sick devotee after his years of wait to be blessed by her words of affection and consolation for him. The voice matters, not the words it carries. The feeling of mutual admiration glorifies it, not the visibility of two persons in conversation. I could not sleep for some time being influenced by the overflowing joy caused by the sweetness of her words. Thanks to all the gods and goddesses. Went to sleep by 10:00.
1 June (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:00. Today I am taking my aunt Subhadra to the Care Hospital in Visakhapatnam. She has been suffering from a heart disorder for the last four months. We took an auto rickshaw to Narsipatnam Road railway station. Thence we took Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger to Visakhapatnam. We got off at Visakhapatnam railway station by 9:00. I stood in the queue for some time and got a second-class berth reserved for me from Visakhapatnam to Ambala Cantonment. I could not get confirmed reservation but waiting list. Then took my aunt to Care Hospital at Maharani Peta in an auto rickshaw. When she was in hospital, I walked some distance from there and bought two elegant books of letterheads. I searched for Montex Higrip ballpoint refill at many shops but nobody had it to sell. I am obsessed with this refill for the last two years. I felt very disturbed for being unable to get this refill even in a city like Visakhapatnam. I want the black refill particularly. I had my lunch by 12:30. My aunt did not have meal but a low-priced bread. She is frugal. She underwent some usual checkups. A specialist prescribed some medicines for her. He advised her to eat well and avoid tension about future. I liked the atmosphere in this hospital. It was air-conditioned and equipped well with staff. Wrote a message of commendation and inserted it in the complaint box provided. We returned home by 8:30 by Visakhapatnam-Rajahmundry passenger train. Went to sleep by 10:30.
2 June (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:00. Spent all my time at home. Spent much of my time writing a letter to Pramodini. There is much joy in writing a letter to the one we love. The meaning of the word “love” is spoilt these days. I like to call this feeling “admiration” for this reason. We pray God and admire the beloved. Everybody needs good friends and a devoted wife. Lahari is presently a good friend to me. Friendship between a boy and a girl looks sweeter than the one between two boys and two girls. Friendship without passions and emotions does not look exciting and memorable. The intensity of admiration between the two beings makes the relationship more obligatory and attractive. The thoughts of one’s beloved chase one, wherever one may be. The feelings and thoughts associated with love are sweet for everybody to remember. When one fails to gain or retain love from or with the other, one’s life looks like a desert, something difficult to bear. Lovers should spend their time in gardens and by seashores. When one fails to get the love of any girl, one should take the initiative and make some girl love him. Lord Krishna enjoyed His life of love in the company of Radha. Went to sleep by 10:30.
3 June (Monday)
Woke up by 5:00. Spent all my time within the limits of Peda Gummuluru. Kept on writing the letter to Pramodini. It was over by 4:30. I am an admirer of beauty and great values of human life. Lahari might have chosen to act in films out of her personal interest. She is a blend of Hindu tradition and modernity. A woman should enjoy her life as she likes. She should follow tradition according to her preferences. Others should not dictate her what she must do. I heard that Lahari was already married to a lecturer in Vijayawada. A friend of Vijaya Krishna, her brother, told me this when I was in the University of Hyderabad. He said that she left him. I was initially hurt to know it. When I thought about it from philosophical and spiritual perspectives, I could shun despair. She is a blessing of my Lord Krishna to me. I admire her as my friend as long as she likes me. Let not human relationships be spoilt by irrational boundaries of orthodoxy. I felt happy to write this letter to her. Went to sleep by 10:00.
4 June (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:00. All the day spent within the village. Morning scanned the English daily The Hindu for some time. I can’t change this world. It would have its collective destiny being guided by a divine power. I don’t like to worry about it thinking about its inevitable changes and disasters. By 8:30 a bank official came to our house to talk with me about my complaint letter against the branch manager of State Bank of India at village Gudivada. He talked with me for half an hour and went to that bank to deal with that creature adequately. Afternoon went to upper primary government school in our village to teach a few English grammar points to Gangaraju, my B.A. classmate, on blackboard. I am not good at teaching English grammar. He is presently preparing for the entrance examination into B.Ed. course. He thinks that I am the right fellow to teach him English grammar. Modern man must be good at this language if he wants to develop a broad perspective on the world. Students of regional medium schools and colleges are suffering a lot to face this problem (achievement of proficiency in English language) for getting good jobs. Night wanted to go to see a Telugu film in Adduroad. Went to sleep by 10:00.
5 June (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:00. All the day stayed within the boundaries of our village. During the last two years, when I was in the pursuit of my M.A. English literature course, it had been my intention to start up a dairy farm to earn money. For the last one month, after coming out of the university, I seriously got engaged myself in the task of trying to take out a loan from a bank for this purpose. Every banker I met discouraged and disappointed me. I am disgusted with the Indian outlook on development. Against this prevalent regressive environment, I decided to go for a job. So, this morning, I applied for some jobs advertised by a big construction company called “DODSAL” based at Mumbai in India. A job application needs to be presented gracefully to the employer. I use laser prints for it. We don’t have those facilities in the vicinity of our village. I regret it. Afternoon saw the Telugu film “Subbu” in cinema Venkatapathi Raju Mahal at Adduroad. It is of a young hero. I enjoyed it. Night listened to my favorite Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. I am an addict to melodious cine songs and inspirational classical music. Went to sleep by 10:00 sensing the rainy weather around me.
6 June (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:00. All the day spent within the village. My uncle Varma, my uncle Ramakrishnam Raju and my cousin Hari came this morning from a nearby town after attending a wedding ceremony. Afternoon listened to cine songs on radio and tape recorder. Today I knew from my uncle Varma that Saint Appanna Swamy has recently passed away in Gollalagunta. I studied there for five years from my third standard to seventh standard. I followed his spiritual guidelines during that time. He became blind when he was 20 or so. I heard that he became mad and abnormal during his last days of earthly existence. I admired him as my spiritual guide. I regret his death. What surprised me in this regard is that his last stage of life has been tragic despite his long spiritual life that preceded it. I did not like to see him as a psychologically and physically weak person. I heard that he looked like a skeleton. He was kept locked in a room. People disliked to peep into his room. His relatives pushed some food or drink quickly into his room. Abusiveness tainted his words. I heard that he led a pathetic life during the last five months of his life this way. He learnt many slokas from Hindu scriptures by heart with the help of others after he became blind. It is a loss to my spiritual aspect of life. I regret that a saint took such pitiable departure from this material world. I heard that nobody lamented his death. His life had been a center of disgust and annoyance toward the end. Went to sleep by 10:00.
7 June (Friday)
Woke up by 5:00. All the day spent within the village. Today it is the eve of my journey to my brother’s army quarters in Ambala Cantonment. He called up this morning and told me to bring rice and mangoes. Now he is stationed at a special camp in Bathinda in view of the tense situation with Pakistan. My short tour to this place is meant for spending a few days happily. For this purpose, my brother Sambha and I packed mangoes this morning. Afternoon my mother sieved rice. I got it into a green sack brought by my brother Srinivas. My mother packed some other items for her daughter-in-law Sandhya Rani and grandson Suhas. By 4:30 my aunt Lakshmi came from village Rambilli, from the house of the in-laws of her younger daughter Sowjanya. She brought my nephew Sujan along with her. We are planning to admit him into St Mary’s High School in Elamanchili. Presently he is studying at Vishwa Shanthi Convent School in Adduroad. Today I asked my cousin Vasu, the eldest son of my uncle Rama Raju, living at Raja Venkata Nagaram, to accompany me up to Visakhapatnam, to help me carry the luggage and to see me off to Ambala Cantonment. He said that he can’t come back to his home from there. I wondered at his amateurism even at the age of 16. By night we finished packing everything meant for being taken to Ambala Cantonment. Went to sleep by 10:30.
8 June (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:00. By 6:00 left for Narsipatnam Road railway station on a bicycle along with my brother Sambha. Luggage was brought in a rickshaw. My luggage constituted one sack of rice weighing 50 kilograms, one cardboard box of mangoes, one cardboard box of miscellaneous items like cashew, mango pickle and one blue colored “Thums Up” bag with my clothes. Took Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger train by 7:15 and reached Visakhapatnam by 9:00. Kept waiting for my train till 1:00. Took Visakhapatnam-Hazrat Nizamuddin Express (Link Express) by 1:15. My reserved Berth No. is 31 in the sleeper coach No. S4. It turned very cool outside by the time the train reached Anakapalle station. It rained a little. Rainwater entered our coach and wetted my sack of rice. I shifted it to the other side. The fellow traveler sitting before me was a B.S.F. (the Border Security Force of India) soldier. He was very upset to go to his station in Jammu. He must be about 35. He was crying like a child to leave his relatives back at Anakapalle railway station, who came to see him off. He resolutely said that he would not attend his duty. He knows about the tense situation at border now. He is worried about it. So, he is not ready to face this predicament. Defense job is an ideal one for outsiders but it is a silly game with serious life for the insiders. One must yield to it for the sake of one’s salary to look after one’s dependent family back at home. The train reached Kazipet Junction by 12:00 (midnight of the day).
9 June (Sunday)
Last night I could not sleep well due to unfavourable circumstances around me. Fresh and cool air blew in through window. It soothed me. My cushion berth was not lengthy enough. So, my pair of legs could not be adjusted on it. A passenger came to me and said that a T.T.E. allotted him my berth to be shared up to Nagpur. Another T.T.E. collected 20 rupees from me before that for confirming that berth to me. I hated that nasty T.T.E. (Traveling Ticket Examiner) because he is one of the symbolic figures of the nasty system of corruption in India. I thought of writing a complaint letter to the regional manager of South Central Railway. Can’t a T.T.E. live with his salary and other benefits being provided by the government? Why should a man be that unfair and unkind to others? Even the prices of items being sold in the stations of Indian Railways are higher. A poor passenger cannot buy these costly items when travelling from one place to another. The policies of the governments are unfavorable to the survival of the poor. One cannot bring everything needed from one’s home and therefore these railway vendors (eagles) exploit the helplessness of such poor passengers. Poor and honest hawkers are struggling outside a lot for a little earning to live. Rice items sold by railway catering staff are not tasty and qualitative.
10 June (Monday)
Dakshin Express (this is how it is called in North India) reached Hazrat Nizamuddin by 6:00. There was Shan-E-Punjab Express readily on the very next platform. Without waiting for Malwa Express, in which I was supposed to travel as per the details given on my reservation ticket, I got into that train with the help of a berth mate of my previous train. A few Punjabi folks got into it soon. I can say that they are rough and bad-mannered travelers. They behaved as if that train was theirs. They don’t think about the comfort of their fellow passengers. When I sat, a semi-old fellow was suffering being unable to stand up. A bloke on my bench offered him space beside me. Being unable to balance myself on that overloaded bench, I remained standing at the exit door, watching greenery outside. The train reached Ambala Cantonment station by 10:30. A porter took 40 rupees to carry my luggage (a sack of rice and a cardboard box of mangoes) to the other end of station. A rickshaw puller charged 35 rupees to take my entire luggage and me to Harding Line. The distance between this railway station and the Harding Line might be about three kilometers. I liked the toil underwent by the rickshaw puller to earn a little money for his simple life. These are the people that stand for sincerity and strength in India. Who care for them? My sister-in-law Sandhya Rani received me affectionately. Spent most of the day watching television. Went to sleep by 12:00.
11 June (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:00. Before getting up from the bed, I had a sweet dream. It needs to be written about in my diary. The central theme of this dream is the wishes of Lahari and me to be in adjacent quarters in order to meet each other every day. “Both of us are living in a block of apartments where one can meet the other easily. All she wants is to be in my company. It is a heaven to be felt by me. She does not search for privacy in my familiarity. The genders of persons do not matter in a happy world of such harmony. She bathes just a bit away from me. She often comes to meet me. My sister-in-law Sandhya Rani and her mother are not blocking the flow of friendship between us. It is a world of liberty where there are no restrictions of tradition. I am waiting for ages to live in such platonic friendship with a completely unfamiliar and very beautiful girl”. Lahari is the one and only girl blessing me with a bit of friendship now. She is an inspiration to my life and its goals. I stored the sweetness of her words and the beauty of her smiles in my heart. Wherever I go, she comes along with me in my thoughts. Watched television throughout the day. Went to sleep by 10:00.
12 June (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:00. This early morning my brother Srinivas came from Bathinda. He has been stationed at Ambala Cantonment for long. Recently he was sent to Bathinda for practice in the duties of his trade (bridging). There is very tense situation across the international border between India and Pakistan. Many think that war may break out at any time. By 11:00 we went to a nearby market on his scooter along with my nephew Suhas and bought one kilo of chicken. This place, where the quarters of defense personnel are situated, is beautiful with neat roads and good facilities. My brother is staying in the Quarter No. 149 in Harding Line. This quarter is spacious enough for a small family like his. Evening we went out on his scooter and did a little shopping. We bought two pairs of cloth pieces at Sialkot Cloth House. I chose two pieces of cloth for my shirt and trousers. He selected two pieces of cloth for my shirt and trousers. He presented me these cloth pieces for two pairs of clothes. Rest of the day watched television. I am a couch potato now. Went to sleep by 12:00.
13 June (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:00. Most of the day stayed within the quarter and spent much of my time watching television. Evening went to a nearby canteen taking Suhas along with me. He bought two bubble gums and I a notebook, a ballpoint refill and some chocolates for him. This notebook is for writing scripts of letters to send to my teaching faculty at the University of Hyderabad. I spent a memorable life in this university campus for two academic years. From the day of my admission into Department of English to my departure from the university campus, it had been a pleasant journey of life. It is true that the marks given by respective lecturers, readers and professors are disappointing. We did not deserve more than that because they avoided overvaluing us. We could not meet their expectations. We had good relations with all of them. I want to share my feelings of affection and reverence for them through these letters. Mutual exchange of felt notions and emotions is the base for good human relations. Correspondence helps one keep one’s human relationships fresh and prosperous. They are all a source of inspiration to me. My letters can make them feel that some of their students have still a little space for them in their hearts. They need our feedback to find their profession interesting. Otherwise they become mechanical and artificial gradually. Went to sleep by 11:00.
14 June (Friday)
Woke up by 5:00. This morning my brother Srinivas went back to his army base in Bathinda. Earlier I tried to learn riding Bajaj Chetak (a scooter). I found it dangerous after a few attempts. We went to Ambala Cantonment Bus Station on a borrowed bicycle. He did not find his expected bus there. Thence we moved to a nearby bus stop where Bathinda bound buses stop. We did not find his expected bus even there. We came back to bus station. He told me to go back to the quarter on the bicycle. Their unit of engineers remains there for some more days (both of us belong to Madras Engineering Group and Center in Bangalore. His Army No. is 15302638W and mine is 15317443H. I know how it would be to be in the army. He knows how to build temporary bridges on rivers during war for soldiers and their vehicles to move on). He already applied for his retirement from the army. He is due to leave it in some two years’ time. He is facing problems in terms of educating his two children. This evening it rained heavily with refreshing winds and thick clouds. The small children of the defense personnel came out of their quarters and enjoyed playing in the dust awoken by the gust of wind and the following spell of rain. They ran one after one inviting wind and rain. I enjoyed watching them playing. Rainy evenings and cold nights are the most fascinating scenes for me. God knows how to entertain His creatures in the cosmos with His magic. Today I finished writing a letter to our professor Sudhakar Marathe. Night watched television for some time. Went to sleep by 11:00.
15 June (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:00. All the day spent within the quarter watching television. I know that whatever happens in serials and other presentations on television are not true. Man lives in the world of truths. He cannot run away from them. He wants to live in a fantastic world for some time. Fiction is a facet of human life. I don’t have any work here to do. In a way, I am keeping myself free from all engagements for these few days. There won’t be time for anybody to spend as one desires. One has to carefully plan and allot it for oneself. This is what I am doing now. My sister-in-law Sandhya Rani is an expert in cooking. Spending leisurely from the morning to the night is a way of life for both the rich and the poor. The prior do it to escape from their work burden and the latter observe it due to lack of work to do. I am enjoying my time being stuck to television not belonging to either one of these two categories. Night talked with Pramodini over telephone. She said that she is becoming weak due to film shootings in rough weather. I regretted it. I can’t help her but I can pray Lord Gopal to bless her and take care of her. I am not omnipresent and omnipotent like Him. Went to sleep by 11:30.
16 June (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent most of my time within the quarter watching television. Afternoon watched the Telugu feature film “Dhonga Mogudu” on Eenadu television channel. From 4:15 onwards watched the English feature film “The Mummy” on HBO television channel. Thereafter watched the Telugu feature films “Nenu Premisthunnaanu” and “Bhale Mogudu” on television. My thought follows, “Presently man-woman relationships in society became detestable and unethical. Tradition is keeping a woman in the prison of family. Woman is a symbol of beauty and love. Man cannot enjoy his life with his wife if she lacks these two qualities. He must be mad about his wife if she has these two qualities abundantly in her. A traditional woman leads a life of dependence on her parents and other male relatives in the family during much part of her life. A man has to worship a woman like a goddess if he wants to find her happy always. He should provide her with enough freedom to think and act according to her rational preferences. Her life is very sensitive. A man should care and guide her like an admirer. One that behaves like a cheat or businessman with his wife can’t enjoy his life. Human societies can’t be happy if they don’t recognize and praise the good qualities of their women. The bond of mutual admiration and passionate attachment should always be there between a wife and a husband. Spiritualism helps humanity build up such a healthy society”. Went to sleep by 11:30.
17 June (Monday)
Woke up by 6:00. Spent much of my time watching television. Evening went out for a stroll along with my sister-in-law, her quarter mate, her two kids and my nephew Suhas. We walked for half an hour along the roads in the Harding Line. I saw the quarters of army officers and their subordinates. There is a difference between their two quarters. Man creates differences in society based on his ego and selfishness. Here sun sets around 8:00. From 7:30 to 9:00 spent in the children’s park. It is just beside my brother’s present quarter (No.149). Suhas played on a swing being attended by his mother. I sat in a swing enjoying the moonlit night. We spent talking about our domestic events for some time. My sister-in-law Kranti is unable to get on well with my mother and father. They are conservative. They nag her on every possible occasion. My brother Sambha remains a victim being unable to deal fairly with either one of them in this complex set of things at home. Night my sister-in-law called up her mother at Mallavaram. Her maternal grandfather is ill. He wants to see her. Night did not watch television. Went to sleep by 11:00.
18 June (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:00. All the day spent within the quarter watching television. Seeking the blessings of my Lord Krishna, I am dedicating this page to Him. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Went to sleep by 12:00.
19 June (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:00. All the day spent within the quarter watching television. The name of my Lord Gopal follows, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Went to sleep by 12:00.
20 June (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:00. All the day spent within the quarter watching television. Evening went for a stroll along with my sister-in-law, my nephew Suhas and others. It is an energizing experience to walk along a road when sun has one hour’s time to rest in his nest for the night. The lives of defense personnel seem to be set in tune to their duty hours. They have their quarters away from the civilian residences. They attend their duties in time. Their wives and small children remain at quarters. They would have much time at their disposal. It gives these women an opportunity to meet neighbouring women and develop their circle of close friends. Their kids go to the nearby children’s parks and enjoy playing among themselves happily. Homesickness and a sense of solitude haunt these women and their children. Their relatives come now and then. It is only a temporary relief to these lonely creatures. I decided to stay here for one month when starting from home but here I found that I cannot. It seems that spending time without doing anything useful is also very difficult. Who configured these human psychologies so delicately and mysteriously? Perhaps God! It’s life. It surprises. Went to sleep by 12:00.
21 June (Friday)
Woke up by 6:00. This morning, Narayana Raju, the army friend of my brother Srinivas, came here from Kondala Agraharam. He gave us some homemade sweets brought from his village. Both of us went to civilian area in Ambala Cantonment to breathe a little polluted air. We saw the recently released Hindi film “Awara Paagal Deewana” in a cinema. It lacked substantial substance. Audience were mostly men. They looked like slackers. They bring liquor into cinemas and behave like picture-perfect drunkards in India. Somebody drank like a crazy monkey and vomited it like a stray dog. What is this society? Mostly swines and swindlers constitute it. Nobody can change them. We came back to our quarters by 3:00. Spent rest of the time within Harding Line. By 7:00 my sister-in-law, her friend, her kids and I went to the nearby cavalry temple. The presiding deities in this temple are Lord Shiva, Lord Hanuman and Goddess Parvati. Mischievous kids were plucking unripe guavas from a tree in the premises of this temple. They were making noise and disturbing the attention of their mothers toward God. Night watched television for some time. Went to sleep by 12:00.
22 June (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:00. Today there would be additional attractions on television. I have to consume them along with other delicious food items being prepared by my sister-in-law. By 10:30 somebody brought a military warrant, meant for concessionary train journey, sent by my brother Srinivas from Bathinda. He sent lemons also from there. My sister-in-law does not know how to make use of them. They may be made into pickle but it is a long process and demands much work from the person concerned. Apart from that, my brother does not like that pickle. He sends everything to home if he finds it abundantly somewhere. I went to computerized reservation complex at Ambala Cantonment railway station by 3:30 along with my nephew Suhas on bicycle. My application was rejected on the ground that the warrant was not filled in properly. Also because I am 25 now and the dependents of defense personnel would not be issued reservation tickets after 20. I was disgusted with the staff and then and there itself I decided to leave this place tomorrow itself traveling in third class. This disciplinary action against me is to accustom myself to the difficulties of human life. Evening kept my luggage (a bag and a box) ready. My sister-in-law was upset to allow me to go that urgently. She said that my brother would get hurt to know that I left the place that hurriedly in such bad mood. I could not change my decision. Went to sleep by 11:00.
23 June (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:00. This morning I am starting back to my home from Ambala Cantonment. I spent here for 12 days. I came here to spend for one month but I found it difficult. Presently my brother Srinivas and my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani are staying here along with their younger son Suhas. Got ready with my luggage by 10:00. Took leave of my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani and my nephew Suhas at quarter number 227/149 in the Harding Line by 11:00. Hired a rickshaw and moved to Ambala Cantonment railway station. Paid the rickshaw puller ten more rupees at the station. Took Amritsar-New Delhi Express by 12:00. I could not buy ticket due to the heavy rush of passengers at the counters. The train reached me New Delhi by 3:00. Here I got two friends. I decided to take New Delhi-Chennai Express (Grand Trunk Express) on their advice. Bought a ticket for 278 rupees for Vijayawada Junction to travel in the general compartment of this train. The coach was thickly packed. Kept standing up and sitting down by the entrance until reaching Gwalior railway station in Madhya Pradesh. There I could get a little room with the help of my friends. I could not find time and room even to eat the Lemon Rice prepared by my sister-in-law for me. There was no chance to sleep.
24 June (Monday)
Grand Trunk Express was running in the state of Madhya Pradesh. We had our parceled packs of food by 2:30 this morning. The passengers that could not find room to sit were dozing off in their standing positions itself. Those, who got room to sit, were trying to take a nap considering them their abodes of heaven, conquered after a long struggle. I know that the third-class train journey would be hellish for those accustomed to the reserved berth travel but at times one can’t avoid traveling in them. Many don’t know how to use toilets. So, they make them smelly and dirty. Everybody tries to sit somewhere not leaving even a bit of space for their fellow passengers to walk through. Passengers were entraining and detraining when the train was stopping at its scheduled halts. It reached Vijayawada Junction by 1:00 (late night of the day). I got off it and found a place on a cement bench on platform number one. Bought a ticket and walked onward and backward on the platform to kill my time. Remembered my friend Vijaya Krishna and his sister Lahari because they belong to this city only. Spread my bed sheet on the platform for some time and on a cement bench for some time to take a nap.
25 June (Tuesday)
Got up from the cement bench by 5:00. Brushed my teeth and washed my sleepy face. Took my luggage and walked to the platform number five to take Ratnachal Express. It pulled off by 6:00. By this time, due to my long journey from Ambala Cantonment, my black trousers and the white shirt turned very worn-out and wore an ugly look. I thought my fellow passengers would feel uneasy due to it. Yet I did not like to change my clothes. My fellow passengers must consider me as an untidy fellow. Got off it at Samalkot Junction by 10:30. Walked to the nearby bus station and took a bus to Annavaram. Reached there by 1:00. Thence took an express bus to Adduroad. Reached there by 2:30. Hired a rickshaw and proceeded to my home. Without putting off the worn-out clothes on my body, went to a tailor in our village and ordered him to stitch the cloth into two shirts and two pairs of trousers at the earliest. The gift presented by my brother in Ambala Cantonment must bloom into its full form. Then went to Adduroad and had my haircut in my favorite hair salon. Took a head bath by 4:30 and put on a fresh pair of clothes. My mother gave me two mango fruit and one glass of sugar water. Rested on bed for some time. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 9:30.
26 June (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:00. Left for NRPM railway station by 7:45 in an auto rickshaw. Got a sleeper class berth reserved for me to Hyderabad for the 2nd of next month. The cost of the ticket is 265 rupees. Then walked up to the nearby flyover and took a bus for Narsipatnam. My uncle Narayana Murthy and my cousin Ravindra Varma also came along with me to attend a work at the other end. Thence took a bus to Kondala Agraharam. Handed bottles of brandy and money to the supposed ones by 12:00. Narayana Raju, the friend of my brother Srinivas, gave them to me in Ambala Cantonment. Returned home by 2:00. By 3:00 left for Tuni from Adduroad along with my uncle Srinivasa Raju. We took cashew nuts in a sack to be shelled at Tuni. They are 17 kilos of cashew nuts meant for being presented to Lahari in Hyderabad. These roadside workers shell cashew from nuts for domestic consumption of their customers. They took four hours for this work and charged me 200 rupees. I bought an audio cassette of the songs of the Telugu film “Manamiddharam”. It is yet to be released to cinemas. Lahari is a heroine in this film. We returned home by 7:00. Called up Lahari by 8:00 and informed her about my arrival to Hyderabad soon. She talks warmly. I enjoy it. Went to sleep by 10:00.
27 June (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:00. This morning there was an Upanayanam occasion of one of our relatives in Adduroad. My parents attended it. Morning listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. Took an auto rickshaw to Etikoppaka by 10:00. Proceeded to State Bank of India and withdrew 1100 rupees from my savings account for my expenses in Hyderabad. This time I am going to Hyderabad to obtain the certificates of my M.A. English literature course from the HCU and to start tries to get a well-paid job soon. My priority is to get a job abroad. I have many things in my mind to achieve in four years to come. I need a lot of money to meet these demands. I have cent percent confidence in me. All else I need is the blessings of Lord Krishna to reach my goals. Returned home by 12:00. Went to Adduroad and had my lunch at the wedding reception of one of our relatives. Afternoon my mother toasted cashew in a frying pan. I packed them (after they turned cool) in four polythene covers to take to Lahari. The mango fruit of this season came to an end in our home by today. Evening my uncle Satya Narayana Raju came from Molleru Mallavaram. By 5:50 went to Adduroad and saw the Telugu film “Sree Manjunaadha” of Chiranjeevi and Arjun in cinema Venkatapathi Raju Mahal. Went to sleep by 11:00.
28 June (Friday)
Woke up by 5:00. Morning listened to devotional songs on tape recorder for some time. By 8:00 started writing a letter to my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani about my journey from Ambala Cantonment to Peda Gummuluru. Went to post office and posted it. Rested on bed for one hour. Electricity was restored by 11:00. Then went to our nearby rice mill and supervised the husking of our paddy meant for our domestic consumption. There were two sacks of paddy to be husked. Then brought them back to home in a rickshaw. Listened to radio for some time. When my mother was sieving the husked rice in the mill, I talked with her about my future plans. I told her that I would take care of her whenever she needs my help. She felt happy to hear these words from me. May God guide my life in such a way whereby I can please all the people I love, including Lahari. Evening went to Adduroad and bought Pootha Rekulu and sugar for the preparation of two kinds of sweets for Pramodini. Spent at the tent house talking with my familiar ones for some time. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder and FM radio for some time. Went to sleep by 11:00.
29 June (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:00. All the day spent within the limits of our village. Scanned today’s Telugu daily Eenadu for some time. These days I am going through newspapers to see the photos of my sweetheart Lahari. I am not much concerned about dirty politics in India. They don’t affect me at individual level. From 9:00 to 11:00 laid on cot to pass time. These days I am much concerned about building up my body. Lahari said that I look emaciated and so I need to improve the look of my body. She advised me to take necessary steps in that direction. I would consume bananas, eggs and milk regularly to reach this goal. May God help me in this pursuit. Afternoon watched Eenadu, Gemini and Maa television channels at the house of my aunt Subhadra. From 4:30 to 6:00 spent at the house of my paternal uncle Srinivasa Raju talking about the theme of husband-wife relationships. He upheld the traditional Hindu concept that a wife should serve her husband like a servant. I argued that wife and husband are equal and so they must serve each other believing in the Artha Naareeswara precept stated in Hindu scriptures. Went to sleep by 10:00.
30 June (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent most of my time within the house. Since it is Sunday today, there would be a number of special programs on television channels today. Power cut is currently on in our village. In a month, power would be on till 11:00 for 15 days and from 11:00 onwards during the remaining 15 days. Six hours of power cut would be there a day in total. Afternoon watched the Telugu feature film “Mogudu Pellaalu” on Eenadu television channel. Jandhyala directed it. I liked it a lot. It shows how a family can be happy when the wife and husband are affectionate and dedicated to each another. Family life contains joys and troubles. Both the partners should face them collectively. Bonds of affection between a wife and a husband are beautiful to see. What if one of the two leaves the other in the middle of the journey? The other’s life becomes tragic and unbearable. Be it in a film or in real life, separation means a hell of internal pain. By 4:00 went to the weekly market in Adduroad on bicycle and bought vegetables. Night watched Eenadu television channel for some time. Went to sleep by 10:00.
1 July (Monday)
Woke up by 5:00. Went to the house of my uncle Srinivasa Raju by 6:00 to take him along with me to collect three litres of buffalo milk from the scheduled Kshatriya women in this village with whom we already talked about it. We met them yesterday and told them to give us pure milk without adding water in it because it is to use for preparing sweet Kova for Lahari. I call her Pramodini. Despite our request, they added water in milk. We could find it out easily. My mother started the preparation of Kova by 10:00. My aunt Raja Kumari and aunt Lakshmi (wife of my paternal uncle Srinivasa Raju) helped her toward the end of this tedious work. Small and round cakes were made by 11:30. Ghee sweets known as “Poochchuttalu” in our Telugu Kshatriya households were also prepared yesterday evening. They are also for Lahari. May Lord Gopal help me reach them carefully to her. My happiness lies in her bliss. Let God guide us. Evening went to Adduroad to buy a few things. Night collected my clothes from the tailor. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder and FM radio for some time. Went to sleep by 9:30.
2 July (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:00. All the day spent within the limits of our village. Morning watched television and listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder. Went to the house of my uncle Srinivas by 2:00 and spent there for two hours. He told me about his experiences with ghosts. He narrated me the account of a female ghost which haunted his sister one year ago. He said that a frustrated young woman committed suicide jumping into a well and the soul in her body later turned into a ghost. It is a general Hindu belief that those, who commit suicides because of their unfulfilled desires, while alive, fulfill their wishes as ghosts after their death. This particular female ghost entered the body of his sister and started influencing her beyond her knowledge. Many times she went to that well to jump in and die. The villagers were also scared to enter that coconut grove in which they lived. He said that he boldly uttered angry and abusive words addressing the ghost to frighten it and send it out of his sister’s body. The ghost left his sister’s body after some days. I enjoyed this account. Left for Narsipatnam Road railway station by 5:30. Took Berth No. 67 in coach No. S4 in Godavari Express by 6:30. The train was running toward Hyderabad. Went to sleep by 9:30 on my berth.
3 July (Wednesday)
Got off Godavari Express at Secunderabad railway station by 5:30. Came out with my heavy luggage and took a private vehicle up to Serilingampally. Thence hired an auto rickshaw and reached Men’s Hostel “A” in the University of Hyderabad by 7:00. Called up Lahari and informed her about my visit to their abode today. Freshened up myself and had some breakfast offered by my hostel mates. Left for the apartment of Lahari at Yellareddyguda by 9:30. Reached there by 10:30. She had already woken up. She said that she had watched two Hindi films and one English film last night playing video cassettes on television and so woke up a little late today. Handed her whatever I brought from my home for her. She felt very happy for it. My happiness lies in her enjoyment. Compared to my previous observation of her, she recovered well in her strength and beauty. She talked about various things like about her attitude towards the film industry, the immorality of the people associated with it, the restless life one has to lead to establish oneself in the industry, her spiritual life and so on. I was overjoyed to hear her words and spend a few minutes in her company. Went to sleep by 10:00 in the Men’s Hostel “A” of HCU as an unauthorized guy.
4 July (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:00. Today I spent my time concentrating on two important things. Yesterday I saw the ad of an automotive company called “Bahwan Automotive Center” at Muscat in the Sultanate of Oman. Last night I met our professor Sudhakar Marathe at his quarter on campus and requested him to prepare a striking outline of résumé for me. He softly denied to help me in that regard and talked with me for one hour about other things of life. He advised me to use my creativity and to seek the help of other faculty members at the department because they may have some time to attend these minor works related to their students. Being encouraged by this talk with him, morning I prepared my résumé on my own. Morning washed two pairs of clothes. By 10:30 went to the Academic Section in Administrative Block and collected my provisional certificate of M.A. English literature course and the marks list of my fourth semester course of studies. I did not collect other related certificates because there was a typographic error in my middle name on them. I wrote them to get it corrected soon. Afternoon went to Serilingampally to get my application for the job laser printed. My friend Bhayya (Kuracha Srinivasa Rao) took me there on a borrowed bike. Returned to hostel by 6:00. Went to sleep by 10:30.
5 July (Friday)
Woke up by 5:00. Morning went to our campus post office to book my application for the position of Sales Consultant at Muscat in Registered Post. I spent 120 rupees on this project as a whole. Then went to English department and checked if there was any mail for me. By 1:30 had my lunch in the Men’s Hostel “A”. It was prepared by our group of friends being headed, managed and wholly funded by our friend Veeranjaneyulu. By 2:00 left for the abode of my sweetheart Lahari with the zoom camera of my artist friend Veeranjaneyulu. Shot her in 37 poses using my roll of film. This interior shooting (in her rented apartment at Yellareddyguda) went on between 3:00 and 5:45. She wore five pairs of dresses for this session of photography by me. She pleasantly and patiently struck various poses for this session. She looked like an angel. Her spiritual facet of life is added attraction. Took leave of her by 6:00 with a heavy heart. Every moment looks great when I spend it in her company. Rushed to Sai Preet Color Lab in Serilingampally and got those negatives of the photos printed by 9:30. Immediately told her over telephone that each photo came very well and that they gave me bliss. Went to sleep by 12:00.
6 July (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:00. This early morning the authorities of the university came and cautioned the unauthorized occupants in hostels to vacate rooms at once to make way for freshers to enter them soon. They ordered me to vacate the room at once. Presently I am staying in the Reading Room (earlier it served so) of Men’s Hostel “A” along with my artist friends. Morning ironed two pairs of clothes. By 9:30 went to Student Center Canteen and had my breakfast of three purees. By 10:30 went to the Academic Section in Administrative Block to enquire about the readiness of my rectified Transfer, Bona fide and Migration certificates to be issued to me as assured by them earlier. They did not get them ready. Returned to hostel and rested for some time. This morning I posted a postcard to my home. Wrote them to send me 3000 rupees by Money Order for my expenses here. By 3:30 collected the aforesaid thee rectified certificates from the Academic Section. The big problem to me now is to find a place to stay in. My friend Lahari is a constant consolation to my heart in these circumstances. May God bless her. Night went to Serilingampally along with my friend Veeranjaneyulu. He did a little shopping there. Went to sleep by 11:00.
7 July (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Morning went to Student Center Canteen and had my breakfast. Afternoon avoided having my lunch. Evening went to Serilingampally and bought bananas for me. Night had my supper at Student Center Canteen along with my friend Viswa Prasad. The name of my Lord Gopal follows, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Went to sleep by 11:00.
8 July (Monday)
Woke up by 5:00. Morning washed a pair of clothes and wore a fresh pair of clothes. Went to Student Center Canteen and had my breakfast of three idlies. Thence proceeded to central library to scan the latest information about the world around me having a look at today’s newspapers. During this activity, I was attracted by the ad of a local telecommunications company called “Cellfree Net Communications”. Being crazy about their fantastic offers of service, started at once to Ameerpet to meet those fellows and buy that product. Their office is in Srinilaya Enclave. The beauty of that building caught my attention. The sales executive concerned explained me the attractions of their product. My friend Bhayya too accompanied me on this tour. We had snacks in a hotel there. We returned to hostel by 4:30. Evening it was very cloudy. I enjoyed it a lot. Veeranjaneyulu and Bhayya photographed me eight times today with the zoom camera of the prior. By 7:00 went to Nampally railway station along with Veeranjaneyulu to see off his friends. Today I called up Lahari twice but she did not receive my calls. Went to sleep by 12:30.
9 July (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:00. All the day spent within the campus of University of Hyderabad. Morning had my breakfast of two dosas at NRS Hostel. Had two cups of hot milk also there. Went to a telephone booth and rang Lahari up. She kept her cellular phone switched off. The telephones in her apartment remained unattended. I was disturbed for being unable to talk with her. Went to State Bank of India by 11:00 and withdrew 250 rupees. After that applied for its (it is being issued free of cost to its account holders) ATM Card. Technology in the baking sector in India is marching ahead with unprecedented offers of customer-centric services. Automated Telling Machine (in parallel with Any Time Money) Card is a boon to both the staff of a bank and the account holders concerned. Even though now I don’t have much money to make use of this facility well, in near future, I would certainly become one. I don’t like to miss any opportunity that comes to my doorstep by the grace of God. One has to change according to the trends of time without sacrificing one’s moral principles and spiritual values. Today I had my lunch at NRS Hostel and supper at Student Center Canteen. Today I met some faculty members in English department. Went to sleep by 10:00.
10 July (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:00. Today it is the day for me to look for job vacancies in the English dailies The Hindu and The Times of India. Morning went to the library at the department of fine arts. A recruiting agency based in the state of Tamil Nadu advertised the vacancies of “English Teacher”. There are “Various Positions” with a Five Star Hotel of the I.T.C. (the Indian Tobacco Company). The Hyderabad branch of an insurance company requires “Insurance Advisers”. To check how these folks respond to me, I prepared applications to send for these three positions. Went to Serilingampally by 11:30 to get these three applications laser printed. It took one hour for me to get these things done. Came back to hostel by 2:00. Enclosed the necessary photocopies of my certificates and got them ready to be posted. Had my lunch and took a siesta for one hour. Left for Hyderabad railway station by a city bus. Reached there by 5:15. I regretted to know that Falaknuma Express originates from Secunderabad railway station. In my hurry, I could not recollect that fact. I had to see off my friend Samanta Sahu’s friend Rajasri along with him. Went to sleep by 10:00.
11 July (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:00. This morning my roommate Samanta Sahu left for New Delhi to attend the interview at the Jawaharlal Nehru University for his admission into M.Phil. in Political Science. Our roommate Degala Ravi Kumar dropped him at Nampally railway station on his bike. Morning went to Student Center Canteen and had my breakfast of idlies. Went to Film Nagar by 10:30 in TATA Safari of the grandson of Sirish Raju. My friend Veeranjaneyulu finished a work of painting previously ordered by them. Both of us went there to hand it to them. The owner of the building into which we went is K Raghu Rama Raju. They often order paintings from Veeranjaneyulu to keep them in their offices and homes. They are very rich. They have many factories. After giving the painting, we went to a nearby hotel and had our lunch. Came back to hostel by 1:30. Took a nap for one hour. By 3:00 went to State Bank of India to pay the due hostel mess bills of Veeranjaneyulu and to bring “No Dues” form for him from the Administrative Block. Evening it rained a little. I enjoyed it. Today I bought two books at the bookshop in Shopping Complex to present to Lahari. Night had a plate of vegetable fried rice at Student Center Canteen. Went to sleep by 10:30.
12 July (Friday)
Woke up by 6:00. Went to Student Center Canteen and had my breakfast of three idlies. Then went to the library at the department of fine arts to scan the job vacancies advertised in the newspapers. Only one ad could catch my attention. It was by a recruiting agency called Global Services in Hyderabad. Called them up and knew that the monthly salary is only 12,000 rupees. They want graduates for a garment manufacturing unit in Malaysia. I am not satisfied with that figure of salary and so avoided trying for it. Had my lunch at Student Center Canteen and took a siesta. Went to English department and checked if there was any mail for me. By 2:30 left for Serilingampally on the bicycle of my friend (my classmate Viswa Prasad brought this old vehicle from his hometown Visakhapatnam. I felt like throwing it into bushes by main road and go away noiselessly). It troubled me with a burst (a thorn pierced its tube and let the compressed air out). Got it repaired at a bicycle store and reached Sai Preet Color Lab by 5:30. Ordered the print of the photos of a camera film. Thence proceeded to Jay Digital Graphics in the block of Vijaya Raghava Chambers and talked with them about the cost of a print. Got a plate of rice packed at Vindu Restaurant for my supper. Collected the photos from the color lab and came back to hostel by 8:30. Night could not manage to sleep early. Entered sound sleep around 1:00.
13 July (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:00. Spent most of my time within the campus. Eating something in time and enjoying strolling through the campus were the main events of the day. Now I am going through a crucial stage of my life. I have set my goal. There is little time to achieve it. I want to reach it fast. I pray God to help me in this regard. The name of Lord Krishna follows, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Went to sleep by 10:30.
14 July (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent most of my time within the campus casually. Evening moved to Sudarshan Nagar along with my friend Veeranjaneyulu in an auto rickshaw keeping our luggage in it. The authorities of the HCU ordered us to leave the campus immediately becuase we are no more students of it. I have to stay back in Hyderabad for some days even after collecting my certificates from the university. I am giving the address of our Department of English in the HCU when applying for jobs. Apart from that, my sweetheart Lahari is also staying in this city. I can meet her now and then if I stay here for some more days. I am grateful to Lord Krishna for providing me with all this happiness. His name follows, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. I could not sleep well due to mosquitoes all around.
15 July (Monday)
Woke up by 6:00. Last night I could not sleep well due to vigorous mosquitoes and noisy winds blowing across the terrace of the house. Morning washed two pairs of clothes. Went to the university by 9:30. Had my breakfast at Student Center Canteen. Then went to post office to check if I got any mail. Their response was in the negative. Went to English department and spent there for some time. Came to Student Center Canteen by 12:15 and had my lunch. Meanwhile my friend Viswa Prasad came there. Got a plate of rice packed for Veeranjaneyulu and left for Sudarshan Nagar to hand his midday meal before 1:00. Took a siesta for two hours from 2:00. Then engaged myself in ironing my clothes. Left for Serilingampally by 6:00. Recently the buckle of my Spanish leather belt was lost. I took this belt from my brother Srinivas during my recent visit to Ambala Cantonment. Bought a buckle for 60 rupees. Then went to Raj Bakers and bought a bread for Veeranjaneyulu for his supper. Thence went to Vindu Restaurant and got a plate of rice packed for my supper. Came back to the rented abode of Veeranjaneyulu by 8:00. I could manage to sleep by 10:30.
16 July (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:00. Left for the university by 8:30 on a bicycle. Went to Student Center Canteen and had my breakfast of three idlies. Then went to the telephone booth near Men’s Hostel “A” and scanned today’s newspapers. Saw some overseas job vacancies. Called up the concerning fellows in Hyderabad. They provide various services including placements. The person contacted by me said that candidates would be placed in countries like New Zealand, the USA and Australia. He added that one should have at least four years’ work experience in the related field and that laymen won’t be recruited. Went to Men’s Hostel “A” and spent there for one hour talking with my familiar folks. Then went to post office and enquired if I got any mail. The response was in the negative. Went to Student Center Canteen and had my lunch by 12:30. Left for Sudarshan Nagar by 1:00. Took a siesta for one hour. By 5:00 went to Serilingampally to buy cookware and vegetables for the bachelor life of Veeranjaneyulu. Accompanied our common friend Trinath on this errand. By 7:30 called up my friend Colin Leslie Kelman in Bangalore and informed him about his getting a place in English department to pursue M.Phil. (morning I checked the list of candidates put up at Administrative Block in our university. He earlier told me to do this favour for him). Called up my father also. Had homemade supper by 9:30. Went to sleep by 10:00.
17 July (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:00. Freshened up myself by 9:00 and started to university on a bicycle. Had my breakfast at Student Center Canteen and then went to the small library near the department of fine arts to scan the newspapers for job vacancies. Only one ad could catch my attention. It was of Sahara Airlines. Decided to apply for the position of Management Trainee in Hyderabad. Called up my sweetheart Lahari and told her that I would do a special program with her today. Prepared 24 questions to ask her as part of my informal interview with her today. Had my lunch in a hotel at Yousufguda and reached her rented apartment at Yellareddyguda by 3:00. She was still involved in her worship of gods and goddesses. After that she went out on some work along with her domestic leaving me alone at home. They returned by 6:00. I conducted the interview using the Walkman of my friend Veeranjaneyulu. Our interview went on between 7:00 and 10:30. Toward the end of this interview, she put up a dim face and signed that I had better left her early. It all went on well. I felt very happy for it. Thank you my dear Lakshmi Lahari. Reached the rented abode of Veeru at Sudarshan Nagar by 11:00. My friend Veeranjaneyulu and I listened to her interview on the audio cassette from 12:30 to 2:00 walking in the open air at late night. It came well. Went to sleep by 2:30.
18 July (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:00. Freshened up myself soon and left for the university by 9:00. Had my breakfast at Student Center Canteen and then went to Serilingampally in an auto rickshaw. Went to the computer center by the temple and got my job application to Sahara Airlines laser printed. Enveloped it in an airmail cover along with the necessary enclosures and went to post office at Chanda Nagar to send it to New Delhi. Came back to Veeru’s abode and had my lunch. Took a siesta for some time. Went to the campus and called up Lahari to update myself with information about her. From 3:00 to 7:00 spent roaming about the campus on a bicycle. Felt very bored of my life in a philosophical way. Called up my folks at home by 7:30. My mother told me with tears that my maternal grandfather Kolukuluri Subba Raju passed away at his abode in Gollalagunta two weeks ago. It was a natural death. He has been almost bedridden for the last one year suffering from TB and the burden of old age. His exit from this world caused me pain. Having spiritual understanding of life, I did not allow tears to roll down. Bodies arrive and depart. Soul leads the journey of a creature in the process of recurrent births and deaths until one attains salvation through rigorous practice. However, void haunted me for some time. Came back to Veeru’s abode on bicycle with a heavy heart. Went to sleep by 11:00.
19 July (Friday)
Woke up by 6:00. It was very cloudy today and appeared like raining at any time. Still the sun played hide-and-seek with clouds. Washed two pairs of clothes and put them in the open. Went to the university by 10:00. Had my breakfast of three purees at Student Center Canteen. Then went to a telephone booth and took a glance at today’s newspapers. Thence proceeded to Men’s Hostel “A” and met my friends Samanta Sahu and Ravi Kanchan Chatterjee. Sahu had an interview at the JNU. Returned his bicycle, which I used for these few days during his absence in the campus. Went to Serilingampally by 11:00 to get my recent interview with Lahari recorded into another audio cassette. Came back to Veeru’s abode and checked the recording. It did not come well on B side. Went back to that audio store and got it recorded well. On the way purchased some cooking items. Came back to Veeru’s abode and checked the recording. It came well. This audio cassette is to present to Lahari. Evening ironed two pairs of clothes. Night it rained. I enjoyed the refreshing showers. Night ate a good amount of jaggery. I like it. Spent talking with my friends for some time. Went to sleep by 11:30.
20 July (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:00. Washed a pair of clothes, took a bath, had breakfast of upma prepared by my friend Veeranjaneyulu and left for the campus by 9:30. Took a glance at today’s newspapers in the library at the department of fine arts. Thence went to post office to enquire about the arrival of Money Order for me from Peda Gummuluru. It did not arrive yet. Collected the redirected copy of the English weekly India Today from my home. Went back to the department of fine arts to see if there was any student who can help me in writing the word “Aaraadhana” in Telugu on the covers of the two audio cassettes in which my interview with Lahari was recorded. I think it looks good if a title is given to these two audio cassettes by which one can understand with which notions I recorded her sweet words, carrying her appreciable interpretation of material and spiritual aspects of life. I found many rooms closed. I could not find anybody to do that work. Went to Men’s Hostel “A” and spent there for some time. Returned to Veeru’s abode at Sudarshan Nagar by 1:00. Veeranjaneyulu already prepared delicious food. I devoured it. It was very pleasant today. I enjoyed it a lot. Went to sleep by 10:30 in rough setting.
21 July (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:00. Spent most of my time within the abode of Veeru in Sudarshan Nagar. When there is no work to do, it is better to rest for the sake of it. I am unable to sleep well in this place. Mosquitoes are torturing me on one hand and on the other hand the folks staying along with Veeru sleep late in the night. These days I am engaged in the thoughts of growing fat and going abroad for a job. This necessitates me to eat well and sleep well. Helped my friends in the preparation of lunch from 11:00 to 12:00. Spent much of my time in the morning and the afternoon in the pursuit of rest. Evening typed up my previously written letter to our professor Sudhakar Marathe on the personal computer of my friend. Meanwhile my friend Trinath asked me to accompany him to the HCU campus. Presently he is searching for child artists to act in a Telugu film. We spent at the NTS Quarters for some time attending this work. Talked with my familiar hostel mess clerk Radha Krishna in his quarter for ten minutes. On our way back, I talked with a fellow about the Indian Army. Meanwhile Trinath made many phone calls to the folks of Telugu film industry. He is trying for chances to act in Telugu films as a comedian. We returned to the abode of Veeru by 8:30. Resumed my work of typing up the letter on computer for some time. Night we friends prepared chicken curry for us. Went to sleep by 11:30.
22 July (Monday)
Woke up by 6:00. Had my breakfast of upma prepared by Veeranjaneyulu by 8:30. Went to the campus by 9:30 and took a glance at today’s newspapers. Then moved to post office to enquire about the arrival of Money Order for me. It arrived. That fellow asked me to come in the afternoon to get the money. Thence went to the library at the department of fine arts to scan the dailies. The photo of my sweetheart Lahari appeared in two places. Went to a nearby telephone booth and called up Lahari to recharge my association with her. Her parents came from Vijayawada to spend with her for some days. Meanwhile my friend Colin came. Both of us went to Administrative Block to attend a small work. Thence we moved to English department. Had my lunch in the Men’s Hostel “A” by 1:30. It was reopened today after the summer holidays. It is the hostel mess where I ate during my two academic years in this campus. By 2:00 went to post office and received 2,700 rupees from the postman, sent from my home. By 3:00 went to State Bank of India and deposited 1600 rupees into my savings account. By 6:00 left for Serilingampally. Got my letter to Professor Sudhakar Marathe laser printed at a computer center. Bought some cooking items. By 8:00 it started pouring. I was blocked there. Returned to the abode of Veeru by 9:30. Had my supper by 10:00. Went to sleep by 10:30.
23 July (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:00. Today also it was cloudy and tempted me a lot. Veeranjaneyulu, Trinath and I left for the campus by 10:00. I met my friend Colin. He was waiting at Administrative Block for attending his admission program into the M.Phil. course. He brought his father along with him. He introduced him to me. I found his father disgusted by the disorder and delay in the admissions. Thence I went to a telephone booth and called up Lahari. Then she was getting ready to go to see the Telugu film “Allari Ramudu” of Jr. NTR and Aarti Agarwal. She was going to a cinema along with her father and domestic (a girl). Let her be happy always. I feel blissful whenever I talk with her or meet her. She is there in my heart leading me toward tomorrow. Spent some time in and around the department of fine arts. Came back to Veeru’s abode by 2:00 and had my lunch. Carefully drew a small design and wrote the word “Aaraadhana” in Telugu on the two covers of the audio cassettes in which my interview with Lahari was recorded. One would be given to her and one would be with me. Evening went to Gulmohar Park area and brought the video discs of the Hindi feature film “Lagaan” and the English feature film “Titanic”. I did not watch them. Went to sleep by 11:00.
24 July (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:00. Got ready and left for the main road by 6:45. Took a city bus up to Indra Nagar and thence an auto rickshaw up to Kothaguda Junction. Thence took a city bus for Indira Nagar at Yousufguda. Had my breakfast at a hotel and reached the apartment of Lahari by 8:30. Lahari and her mother were sleeping on the floor near the entrance door. Her mother came here this early morning from Vijayawada. For courtesy sake, she freshened up herself and listened to my recent interview with her on their small tape recorder. They felt happy listening to it. From 9:00 to 4:00 I kept waiting for the original still photos of Chiranjeevi shot during the shooting of his recently released Telugu film “Indra”. I had my lunch there, two cups of coffee and it was drizzling outside. Took leave of them and reached the “Jay Digital Graphics” at Chanda Nagar by 5:00. Till 9:30 we were engaged in designing the background, the style of letters and the composition of memento. It came well. Lahari wants to present this memento to Telugu film actor Chiranjeevi. It is a token of her admiration and affection for him. The 20-line script is mine. Night the audio release function of the Telugu film “Vachchinavaadu Sooryudu” took place in the city. Lahari too attended it. She acted in that film. Went to sleep by 10:30.
25 July (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:00. Morning washed a pair of clothes. Freshened up myself and left for Serilingampally by 9:00 in an auto rickshaw. Went to a hotel and had my breakfast of two idlies. Proceeded to a computer center and got my application to the Eenadu Telugu television channel laser printed. They advertised for creative people to work with their television team. I am a bit good at Telugu and English. So, I decided to apply for this position. Posted the envelope at the post office in Ramachandrapuram. Then went to the “Jay Digital Graphics” and collected the memento print meant to be presented to Chiranjeevi. Thence took a city bus to Secunderabad. Went to the “Royal Frames” at Parklane to order a frame to this memento. He said that it costs 390 rupees. Came back to Ameerpet by 1:00 and had my lunch at a hotel. Then went to the apartment of Lahari at Yellareddyguda. Showed her the print copy of the memento meant to be presented to Chiranjeevi by her. She felt happy at it. I showed her even the photos of paintings of my friend Veeranjaneyulu. Her mother too liked them. Took leave of them and reached the abode of Veeru at Sudarshan Nagar by 3:30. Rested on a mat from 4:00 to 6:00. Lahari told me that this night she would go to see the preview of the Telugu film “Indra” along with her parents. Night our roommates made much noise in the room. Went to sleep by 11:30.
26 July (Friday)
Woke up by 6:00. Washed a pair of clothes, freshened up myself and left for the campus by 10:00. Went to a telephone booth and scanned today’s dailies for some time. Thence moved to English department and checked the tray of mail. There were two letters for me. One was a letter of intimation from the Ing Vysya Insurance Company in Hyderabad informing me to attend an interview at their office. Called them up and said that I am interested in their offer. Afternoon I got my personal book of addresses filled in by our professor Mohan G Ramanan. Reader Pingali Sailaja gave me a small gift made of silver asking me to give it to my mother as a token of her affection for her. Had my lunch at Student Center Canteen and proceeded to State Bank of India to enquire about my ATM card. Reached cinema Amba at Mehdipatnam by 2:00. Bought a ticket for 40 rupees in the black and saw the Telugu film “Indra” of Chiranjeevi in which my sweetheart Lahari played the role of his niece. It is a very exciting film. Lahari too acted well in it. She has talent in acting. May God bless her. Went to Parklane in Secunderabad and collected the framed memento meant for Chiranjeevi from the “Royal Frames”. Handed it to Lahari by 8:00 in her apartment at Yellareddyguda. She felt very happy at it. Took leave of her and reached the abode of Veeru by 11:00. Went to sleep by 12:00.
27 July (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:00. Morning washed a pair of clothes. Had my breakfast of upma prepared by Trinath and Veeranjaneyulu. Decided to photograph Lahari once again today. Called her up from the telephone booth near the HCU Bus Depot. She said that she is busy today. I felt a bit disappointed. Moved to the campus. Lahari is an important girl for me now. I am her admirer. To have the recording of her sweet voice and her beautiful photos with me is a matter of great joy for me. Admiration is a mad and irrational pursuit of human beings. Now I am in that state toward Lahari. Went to English department and found two letters for me. Afternoon had my lunch in Men’s Hostel “D” along with my friends Colin, Emanuel, Shiv Narayan Mishra and Manohar Babu. Evening went to the office of “G.I. Systems” at Madhapur to take a written test. I was rejected because I did not register my name with them beforehand. I am not that interested in their job either. Came back to Veeru’s abode at Sudarshan Nagar by 6:00 along with my previously left out luggage in the Men’s Hostel “A”. Called up Lahari and my mother by 8:00. With Lahari I fixed the date of my session of photography with her. My mother said that my brother Srinivas, my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani and my nephew Suhas came from Ambala Cantonment on leave. Went to sleep by 11:00.
28 July (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent most of my time within the abode of Veeru at Sudarshan Nagar. Last night I started writing a letter to Lahari. Wrote rest of it from 6:00 to 8:00. There are 20 pages in this beautiful book. I filled in all of them. The first ten pages were written in Telugu and the remaining in English. The Telugu film “Indra” of Chiranjeevi was released to cinemas on the 26th of this month. My friend Lahari played the role of the niece of the hero in this film. The name of her character is Nandini. I wrote my comments on that film in this letter. By 6:30 reached Serilingampally in an auto rickshaw. First went to the “Jay Digital Graphics” and collected the small memento meant to be given to Chiranjeevi by Lahari. She presents the big memento to Chiranjeevi and keeps this small one with her. Thereafter bought a roll of film of Kodak 400 at MNR Color Lab. Had a glass of hot milk at a sweet stall by main road. Called up Lahari by 8:00. Reached the abode of Veeru by 8:30. Set the film in the zoom camera of Veeru. Tomorrow I would meet Lahari and so this preparation. Had my supper by 9:30. Walked in the open for some time enjoying cool air. Went to sleep by 10:30.
29 July (Monday)
Woke up by 6:00. Ironed a pair of clothes, talked with the roommates for some time, dressed up myself and left for the main road by 9:00. Went to the small canteen in Shopping Complex and had my breakfast. Then did a bit of shopping there and moved to a telephone booth. Scanned the Telugu daily Eenadu and found the advertisement of the Telugu film “Manamiddharam” in it. Lahari’s photo was also there in it. She is a heroine in that film. Being unable to withdraw some money fast from State Bank of India, left for meeting Lahari by 10:40 in a hurry. Changed three auto rickshaws. After a short walk, met her by 11:45. My work with Lahari today is to take her photos in 37 poses using the zoom camera of my artist friend Veeranjaneyulu. She remained patient and struck good poses. She wore quite a few dresses for it and avoided make-up. This photo session went on between 1:00 and 5:00 with a lunch break by 3:30. I felt very happy to have the luck of photographing such a good and beautiful girl. She is a blend of tradition and modernity (worldly temptation toward film industry). Today I presented her a bottle of Horlicks (weighing 500 grams) in admiration. There is a gift of plastic cup with it. Took leave of her, changed three auto rickshaws and reached the abode of Veeru by 6:00. Night talked with our roommates for some time. Went to sleep by 11:30.
30 July (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:00. Ironed a pair of clothes, freshened up myself and left for the main road by 10:00. Took an auto rickshaw and reached the bus stop opposite the HCU main gate. Scanned the Telugu daily Eenadu for a few minutes at the tea stall there. Went to State Bank of India and withdrew 1000 rupees for my expenses. Took an auto rickshaw and reached Serilingampally by 11:00. Went to Sai Preet Color Lab to get my camera film developed and printed. The photos of my sweetheart Lahari, which were shot yesterday in her apartment, came well. I got the two rolls of film of her photos printed twice by now. One set of photos is to present to her and one is for me. Bought a “Nova” photo album to keep the 74 photos of her meant for my records section. Also bought a small “Archies” photo album to present her along with the present 37 photos. Evening my friend Veeranjaneyulu shot me in ten poses with his camera. Attended the Kuchipudi dance performance of Shobha Naidu at the Seminar Complex in our university from 7:00 to 9:30. After this recital, I got myself photographed with her along with her disciples. I reminded her about my letters and the memento to her. We returned to our abode by 10:00. Night we prepared chicken curry for us. Went to sleep by 12:00 in a setting surrounded by mosquitoes.
31 July (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:00. Left for the campus by 10:30. Went to a telephone booth and scanned the Telugu daily Eenadu for some time. There was a publicity ad of Lahari related to the Telugu film “Vachchinavaadu Sooryudu”. Collected that paper cutting for my records section. Went to English department to check if I got any mail. I was informed that I got a registered parcel, which has to be collected from the post office. Went to State Bank of India and withdrew 400 rupees. Then collected my V.P.P. (Value Payable Post) parcel from the campus post office. It contained a copy of Getting a Job in America, written by Roger Jones, for which I recently sent an order by postcard. Came back to Veeru’s abode by 1:30. Had my lunch and engaged myself in reading the aforesaid book for some time. By 6:00 ironed a pair of clothes. Night went for a stroll after supper along with my friend Veeranjaneyulu. From 9:30 to 10:00 listened to the Telugu play “Nallajerla Road” on Hyderabad radio. Then listened to Carnatic vocal music on the same for some time. The main events in this month are as follows. I spent my time with Lahari in a friendly way; collected my certificates of M.A. English literature course from the HCU; applied for a few jobs; stayed along with my friends in the rented portion of Veeranjaneyulu at Sudarshan Nagar and my maternal grandfather passed away at Gollalagunta in the first week of this month. The total amount of money I spent during this time was about 4000 rupees. I am grateful to Lord Krishna for His honorary direction. Went to sleep by 11:30.
1 August (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:00. Ironed a pair of clothes, freshened up myself, had the breakfast of yellow rice prepared by my friend Veeranjaneyulu and left for the main road by 8:50. Called up my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani at home and enquired about their leave period of stay. She said that they would stay here till the end of this month and then go to Ambala Cantonment. Went to the campus and took a glance at today’s newspapers. Then moved to English department to collect the postal addresses and pieces of advice from our faculty members into my book of records. Professor Sudhakar Marathe only could do it for me today. Professor K Narayana Chandran, the present Head of Department of English, kept the book with him to fill in it and return me later. Went to post office and enquired if I got any mail. Returned to Veeru’s abode by 12:30. Ate a loaf of bread. Had my lunch by 1:30. Read the left out chapters in the book Getting a Job in America of Roger Jones for some time. By 4:30 wrote a letter to send to an organization in the United States of America. They advise foreigners on employment related issues in that country. Typed up and copied that letter into a floppy between 6:00 and 7:00 on the personal computer of one of our roommates. It was drizzling outside. Veeranjaneyulu and I went to our nearby general store to buy some items and make a few calls. I called up my cousin Kiran at Manjeera Boys’ Hostel in Kachiguda. Went to sleep by 11:00 being encircled by mosquitoes.
2 August (Friday)
Woke up by 6:00. Ironed a pair of clothes and had the breakfast of upma prepared by Veeranjaneyulu. Even today I had to go to the HCU campus to collect the addresses of our faculty members into my book and check the arrival of any mail for me. Instead of carrying out these things, I remained with my artist friend Veeranjaneyulu to help him in taking his paintings to the office of Raghu Rama Raju at Film Nagar. We left for the main road by 11:00. We changed two auto rickshaws and reached the office of Raghu in Film Nagar by 12:30. My friend stayed back talking with a few in that office. I came back in their TATA Safari to take the paintings from Veeru’s abode at Sudarshan Nagar. We returned there by 1:30. Then they offered dosas to Veeru and me in their office. We kept on waiting for carpenters for more than two hours. They turned up by 4:30. The work of fixing the paintings up at the supposed places in the office rooms went on for two hours. The artist and the carpenters took care to fix them up in a proper manner. It was all over by 7:00. We returned to Veeru’s abode by 8:00 changing two auto rickshaws from Film Nagar to Sudarshan Nagar Junction. Night we friends watched Telugu feature film “Student No.1” of Junior NTR and Gajala on the computer of our roommate. Went to sleep by 12:30.
3 August (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:00. Freshened up myself and left for the main road by 7:00. Called up my father and informed him that I would start back from Hyderabad in the evening hours of the 8th of this month. Took a city bus and reached Secunderabad railway station by 8:00. Took a coupon (number 90) and sat in a chair waiting for my turn. Got a sleeper class berth reserved for me from Hyderabad to Narsipatnam Road. Went to the HCU campus by 10:00. Wrote a message to be emailed to the folks of Careers Valence, a medical agency, and gave it to clerk Prasad in English department. It was my reply to them in relation to the position of Sub Editor offered by them. I wrote that I can’t attend their selection process at once and that I am not interested in their job at all. Came back to Veeru’s abode by 12:30. Had my lunch and took a nap. Trinath, Veeranjaneyulu and I left for the city by 6:00. Trinath went to attend the classical dance performance of his friend at Ravindra Bharati. Veeru and I went ahead and did a bit of shopping. He shopped in Narayana Guda and near Madina Building at Kothi. I bought a Sansui Walkman for 700 rupees at the showroom of J D Electronics in Abids. This is to present to Lahari. Both of us came back to Ravindra Bharati and spent in it till 9:00 watching the classical dance. Then three of us returned to Veeru’s abode by a bus. We had our supper by 10:30. Then Veeru and I went for a stroll. The sky was bright. We enjoyed it. Went to sleep by 11:30.
4 August (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Started to Serilingampally by 9:00. Trinath too accompanied me. Ordered the development and print of some photos at a photo studio. Bought an Eveready battery charger and Philips headphones to present to Lahari. Returned to the abode of Veeru by 1:30. Talked with Lahari by 2:30 over telephone. From 3:30 to 6:00 saw the Telugu film “Ounu Vaalliddharoo Ishtapaddaaru” in a cinema at Serilingampally along with my friends. Vamsy directed it. Had my supper by 11:30. The name of Lord Krishna follows, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Went to sleep by 12:00.
5 August (Monday)
Woke up by 6:00. Freshened up myself and went to the HCU campus by 9:30. Had my breakfast at Student Center Canteen and went to English department. Attended the work of collecting pieces of advice and addresses from Reader Pingali Sailaja and Professor Sachidananda Mohanty. Reader Afeefa Banu and Professor Alladi Uma told me to collect the filled in book tomorrow. Went to post office and enquired if I got any mail. Had my lunch in Men’s Hostel “A” by 12:50. Then left for meeting Lahari and her mother in their rented abode at Yellareddyguda. Reached there by 3:00. Handed Sansui Walkman, Eveready battery charger, Philips headphones and a bottle of sweet drink Rooh Afza. I gave the recently taken photos also to her. This is my last visit to her during my stay in Hyderabad from 3rd July to 8th August in this year. She thanked me shaking her hand with mine for all the affection I showered upon her. I held her hand very gently while attending this formal gesture. She remarked that solid friends should not give such a weak handshake to their friends. She was leaving for Abids in an auto rickshaw along with her mother to do shopping for her second photo session by Murthy tomorrow. Took leave of them by 4:30 and returned to Veeru’s abode by 6:00. Remained waiting outside till 9:00 because my friends locked the room and took away the key with them. It rained during this time. I enjoyed it in solitude. It turned very cool. Went to sleep by 12:30.
6 August (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:00. Freshened up myself and left for the HCU campus by 9:30. Went to English department to check if I got any mail and take my book from the faculty members. I met my friends Vijaya Krishna and Colin there. The prior came here to collect his certificates and take a boy from here to work in his hotel, which he likes to start soon in his hometown Vijayawada. Both of us came to the abode of Veeru by 12:30. We had our lunch together. Then he rested for one hour. By 2:30 Vijaya Krishna, Veeranjaneyulu and I left for the main road and hired an auto rickshaw. Vijaya Krishna got off it opposite the main gate of HCU. Veeru and I reached the office of NATL Technologies Limited of Raghu in Film Nagar by 3:45. We had a cup of coffee there and then walked to the nearby rented house of Raghu. There we met Annapoorna, the elder sister-in-law of Kanumuri Bapi Raju and the director of erstwhile Siris Pharmaceutical Company. We handed paintings to them. Veeranjaneyulu, Annapoorna and I started in a car by 6:00 to see the paintings in Taj Group of Hotels, namely Taj Krishna, Taj Residency and Taj Banjara. I was much impressed by the exquisite architecture and beauty of Hotel Taj Krishna. It’s a man-made wonder of artistic beauty and material comfort. After that, Veeru bought a sim card of Airtel (an Indian cellular phone company) at a shop in Banjara Hills. We could not find a good handset. We came back to Veeru’s abode by 11:00. We had our supper by 12:00. Went to sleep by 12:30.
7 August (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:00. Had my breakfast and left for the main road by 10:00. Went to a telephone booth and scanned today’s newspapers for some time. Then went to the hostel room of Ravi Kanchan Chatterjee. He talked with me for some time and then left for English department to attend his classes. I scanned job vacancies in the English daily The Hindu for some time and took a nap. Meanwhile my friend Vijaya Krishna came and asked me to accompany him to English department. He is on his way of getting the “No Dues” form signed by all concerned for obtaining his certificates from the university. We met our friend Colin Leslie Kelman and talked with him for some time. Ravi Kanchan Chatterjee gave me (I am his senior in M.A. English and his hostel mate for one academic year) a small treat at Student Center Canteen. We had Vegetable Fried Rice with Chicken Manchuria. I went to State Bank of India by 3:00 and withdrew 200 rupees. My bank balance dropped to 800 rupees. Then went to Serilingampally and bought a suitcase to me for 170 rupees. Came back to Veeru’s abode by 4:30. From 5:30 to 6:30 engaged myself in washing a pair of clothes, taking my head bath and thus getting ready for my journey back to home tomorrow evening. Night our roommates gave a small dinner party to two of their female classmates. My stay in Hyderabad for all these days has been successful and delightful. Went to sleep by 12:30.
8 August (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:00. Ironed a pair of clothes and freshened up myself by 8:30. Called up Shobha Naidu to know if she would be free this morning to receive my memento for her from my hands at her Kuchipudi Art Academy. She replied in the negative. I withdrew myself from that idea. It was drizzling continually. Veeranjaneyulu, Trinath and I left for the city by 2:30. They carried some of my luggage up to the main road. Thence we hired an auto rickshaw. They got off it at Dargah area to go to Film Nagar. I travelled in it up to Mehdipatnam. Thence I hired another auto rickshaw to Hyderabad railway station for 20 rupees. I was in the vicinity of the station by 3:30. Called up Haripriya Devi, mother of Lahari, to receive her wishes to me for my journey from Hyderabad to Narsipatnam Road by Godavari Express this evening. Lahari too wished me. Got a plate of vegetable biryani packed for me at a hotel for my supper during the train journey. Took Berth No. 52 in Coach No. S1 by 4:40. Before that I cut a publicity ad from the English daily Deccan Chronicle in which a short comment was made on the role of Lahari in the Telugu feature film “Indra”. I am grateful to Lord Krishna and Mother Saraswati for guiding me all these days in Hyderabad. Went to sleep by 10:00 on my berth.
9 August (Friday)
Got up from my berth in Godavari Express by 4:00 in the early morning. Got off it at Narsipatnam Road railway station by 5:30 and hired an auto rickshaw to our home. From 6:30 to 8:00 my brother Sambha, my father Venkatapathi Raju and my mother Sitayyamma listened to my interview with Lahari on our tape recorder. Showed my album of her photos to my brother. My father, my uncle Rama Raju, my uncle Baasi (Bhaskara Raju, the younger brother of my uncle Srinivasa Raju) and I left for Tuni by 10:30 by a bus from Adduroad. Thence we took another bus and reached Jaggampeta by 1:30. We proceeded to the house of my teacher uncle Venkata Rama Raju and had our formal lunch. Got into the wedding party bus and left for Bhima Varam by 4:00. We reached there by 8:00. The wedding of Raghupati (the eldest son of my teacher uncle K V Rama Raju) has to be considered a grand event in our circles of family because the honorary dowry being offered to him by the bride party is property worth one crore rupees. Many attendees from the bridegroom party thought that the wedding reception would be on a grand scale from the bride party but the fact was that it was simple. After dinner, my uncle Varma and I went to cinema Govardhan in Bhima Varam and saw Telugu film “Vachchinavaadu Sooryudu” in the second show. Lahari played a considerable role in this film. The producer of the film also acted in it. He has no talent in acting at all. He played the role of a military officer but he acted like a dullard. His performance is very poor in this film. People without talent in acting should not try somehow to appear on screen. It would be better if they do something behind the screen. Lahari’s performance is satisfactory. Went to sleep by 1:00.
10 August (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:00 in the second floor of the building of Arya Vysya Kalyana Mandapam. Washed my face with the soap provided and went down to the venue of wedding by 8:00. The band was beating drums hard to chase the air around the eardrums of the few vulnerable attendees! I told them to keep it a bit low. Many arrived into the hall soon and made the wedding ceremony of Raghupati and Padmini a grand occasion. Among these attendees, I found a girl beautiful. She decorated herself well. I knew that she is the daughter of the maternal aunt of the bride. The bridegroom party started back to Jaggampeta by 1:30 by the wedding party bus. I left for Gollalagunta along with my uncle Varma by 5:00 in an auto rickshaw. We reached there within half an hour. I was deeply disturbed to see the photo of my maternal grandfather in a frame at their home. Till 3rd July this year, he had been a living entity among us. Now he is a departed soul to some unknown region in this cosmos. How little the distance between life and death is! Evening went to our mango grove along with my uncle Varma. My cousin Anantha Lakshmi and my maternal aunt Soorya Bhaskaramma treated me well. Went to sleep by 10:00.
11 August (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Left for Jaggampeta by 9:30 along with my uncle Rama Raju (of village Bhoopalapatnam) to meet my teacher uncle Venkata Rama Raju. We talked with him for some time. Also talked with my cousins Raghupati and Kiran for some time. The latter is a good friend of mine. He is very handsome and intelligent. Went to bus station along with my uncle Rama Raju by 11:30 in a rickshaw. Thence took a Visakhapatnam bound express bus for Adduroad. Reached my home by 2:30. My teacher uncle Venkata Rama Raju asked me to distribute a few packets of sweets (brought by his daughter-in-law Padmini formally from her home) to our relatives in this region. I distributed them to our relatives in this village. From 3:00 to 7:00 wrote a letter to Lahari in Telugu. It has six pages and carries my comments on her role in the Telugu film “Vachchinavaadu Sooryudu” which was recently released to cinemas. Meanwhile my brother Sambha prepared supper for us. Then wrote two covering letters to send along with two applications for two jobs. One application is to Narne Estates in Secunderabad and the other is to Nestle in New Delhi. Had my supper by 8:30. Listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 10:00.
12 August (Monday)
Woke up by 5:00. Since my mother left for the abode of her parents along with her sister Raja Kumari, my brother Sambha took up the chore of cooking. My father has to attend his general duty by 8:00 at sugar factory in Darlapudi during non-crushing season. It necessitates my mother to prepare food early in the morning. My brother readily met this demand. I am grateful to him for it. He prepared aubergine curry. We managed with it. By 8:00 went to post office to post my job applications to Nestle India Limited in New Delhi and Narne Estates in Secunderabad. These applications are for the positions of Sales Officer and Copywriter respectively. Also posted my letter to Lahari along with them. It drizzled even today due to cyclone. Once again went to post office by 9:30 to tell the postman to be quick in delivering my mail because I am expecting job calls. Afternoon spent some time in Adduroad. Called up my aunt Lakshmi in Molleru Mallavaram and welcomed the arrival of my sisters-in-law to our home. Evening called up my sweetheart Lahari in Hyderabad and talked with her for more than five minutes. May God bless her happy and satisfactory life. Listened to songs and went to sleep by 10:00.
13 August (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:00. Today also it was very cool and cloudy due to depression over the Bay of Bengal. I like this weather a lot. Clouds are my friends. Cool weather is my sweetheart. Morning watched television for some time and listened to Telugu cine songs on our tape recorder for some time. My sister-in-law Sandhya Rani, my nephews Sujan and Suhas, and I left for Elamanchili by 11:30. We waited for the bus for half an hour in Adduroad and then got one. We took Sujan to a children’s specialist by the Station Road for consultation. He examined the boy and prescribed a few medicines for him. He advised us to take him to a doctor in Visakhapatnam for further diagnosis and treatment. He said that ulcers might have developed in his stomach, which is an exceptional case in the children of that age. I tried to get a copy of the Telugu daily Eenadu of last Sunday to collect a publicity ad of my sweetheart Lahari published in it. I could not get it. We returned home by 2:00. Took a siesta for two and a half hours. Evening and night listened to Telugu cine songs on Visakha FM. Went to sleep by 11:00.
14 August (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:00. Morning watched television for more than three hours (my younger sister-in-law Kranti brought a used black and white portable TV recently from the house of her parents). Afternoon went to Elamanchili to buy a copy of English daily The Hindu and scan job vacancies. I did not find suitable jobs for me in it. Night watched television and listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder. The name of Lord Krishna follows, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Went to sleep by 10:00.
15 August (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:00. Spent at home till 12:30. Then went to Adduroad and spent some time at the tent house of my brother Sambha. Evening saw the Telugu film “Santosham” of Nagarjuna in cinema Venkatapathi Raju Mahal at Adduroad in the first show. I took my sisters-in-law Sandhya Rani and Kranti and nephews Sujan and Suhas to this film along with me. I took them to show them my sweetheart Lahari in that film. The name of Lord Krishna follows, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Went to sleep by 11:00.
16 August (Friday)
Woke up by 6:00. Watched television for some time. Then went to Adduroad and opened the tent house of my brother Sambha. Sat there for two hours. This morning called up Haripriya Devi, mother of Lahari, and informed her to cut the ad photo of the 100-day celebration of the Telugu film “Santosham” published in a daily. Then (at 7:30) Lahari was sleeping. She played a very small role in this film. Afternoon too spent at the tent house for some time. Evening my father, my mother, my younger sister-in-law Kranti and my brother Sambha engaged themselves in a serious debate over the issue of domestic understanding between Kranti and her mother-in-law. Kranti is not skillful at housekeeping and cooking. She is unable to cope with the environment at our home. She grew up very happily at the house of her parents without learning any domestic work before her marriage with my brother. My mother and father are not that great to allow her to live as she likes. This mismatch of attitudes and abilities between them is leading to clashes quite often. They are trying to resolve them. Went to sleep by 10:30.
17 August (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:00. Freshened up myself soon and left for Adduroad by 6:30 along with my nephew Sujan. He recently began to say that he is suffering from chest pain. Today I am taking him to Kalyani Hospital (meant for defense personnel) at Scindia for consultation. We took an express bus up to Gajuwaka. We got off it by 8:40. After talking with Bhava Narayana, the army friend of my brother Srinivas, who brought his parents there for consultation, I knew that Sujan won’t be treated there unless he has his medical card, which must be obtained by his father Srinivas. On the return journey, I lost a papaya in bus travel. I put it there. It slipped down to footboard by a jolt of the bus and fell down. We returned home by 1:30. Took a siesta for half an hour. Datla Satya Surya Narayana Raju (Ramesh), Datla Sowjanya and Udaya Bhaskaramma (the latter’s maternal grandmother) came here by 4:00. They are on their way to Rambilli. Sowjanya is going to the house of her in-laws in a traditional way. From 8:00 to 10:00 wrote script to participate in the “Making Sense of India Contest” being conducted by the English weekly India Today. I prepared answers to two questions related to the recent Ayodhya issue and India-Pakistan disputes. One entry is from me and the other is on behalf of my sweetheart Lahari. Went to sleep by 10:00.
18 August (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:30. Last night Lahari visited me in my dream. Morning watched television for some time. Took a head bath by 9:00. By 10:00 left for Elamanchili from Adduroad in an auto rickshaw along with my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani and my nephews Sujan and Suhas. Thence my brother-in-law Ramesh (husband of my sister-in-law Sowjanya) took us to Rambilli in an auto rickshaw. We spent at their house from 12:00 to 6:00. I watched the Telugu feature film “Vijetha” of Chiranjeevi on Gemini television channel. Four of us came back to Elamanchili by 6:30 in an auto rickshaw. Thence we took a bus and reached our house by 7:30. From 7:35 to 8:00 kept on trying to talk with Lahari over telephone. The line was busy. I felt disappointed. I could talk with her by 9:10. This talk went on for five minutes. We talked about various things. The name of Lord Krishna follows, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. My salutes to Lord Krishna and Mother Saraswati. Went to sleep by 10:00.
19 August (Monday)
Woke up by 6:00. Listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time and watched television for some time. After scanning the English daily The Hindu this morning I knew that participants need entry forms given in the English weekly India Today to enter its weekly contest. India Today is conducting an opinion poll on eight complex issues of India. Though I am a subscriber to India Today I get my copy late by post. To meet the terms of this contest, I need a latest copy of it and so left for Narsipatnam by 9:00 by a bus to buy it. I knew that very few read the English edition of India Today in that town and so English copies are hardly sold there. The dealer at the bookshop in the bus station told me to come tomorrow afternoon for that copy. Came back to home by 11:30 with a disappointed heart. Took a siesta for one hour. By 1:00 left for State Bank of India at Etikoppaka and withdrew 800 rupees for my expenses. The kind bank folks paid me the money at the eleventh hour of their working hours. Evening spent at the tent house for some time talking with the available ones. Went to sleep by 9:30.
20 August (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:00. My brother Sambha and I took the maternal grandmother of my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani to Adduroad to see her off for Molleru Mallavaram. My nephew Suhas is also going there along with her. I bought two packs of Britannia Tiger biscuits for seven rupees for him as my gift. By 10:00 left for Narsipatnam along with my sisters-in-law Sandhya Rani and Kranti by a bus from Adduroad. They got off it at village Tangedu to spend at the house of the latter. I hired a rickshaw from the bus station and rushed to cinema Bangaarraaju. I heard that they have recently renovated this cinema. Saw the Telugu film “Baabaa” of Rajnikanth in the morning show. I liked this cinema and the film a lot. The innocent role of Manisha Koirala is an attraction in this film. Came back to bus station by 1:30 in a rickshaw. The dealer at the bookshop in the bus station told me to wait till 4:30 for the English edition of India Today. I started spending my time reading the Telugu film weekly Sitara. Reached the house of the parents of my sister-in-law Kranti in Tangedu by 5:30. Had a bit of supper there not to disappoint my aunt Janaki, the mother of Kranti. We returned home by 7:10 by bus. Went to sleep by 10:00.
21 August (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:00. Scanned today’s dailies for some time for job vacancies. I could not find suitable ones for me. By 8:30 my uncle Chanti Babu came from village Durgada. My father stopped talking with him (his brother-in-law) for the last two years. He did not repay a loan arranged by my father from a third person. But we (the other members in our family) are maintaining a normal relationship with him. He mostly comes to our house during the absence of my father. We talked with him for more than two hours. Then both of us started to Raja Venkata Nagaram to meet my uncle Rama Raju. He has been working as a supervisor for the last seven years in a coconut garden there. En route we spent at a familiar one’s house for some time in Adduroad. We reached the house of my uncle in the coconut garden by 11:30. My aunt Raja Kumari offered a few homemade sweets to us. We talked about the realities of human life and the present family relationships for some time. I found it educative and interesting. We came back to Peda Gummuluru by 6:30. Listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 10:30.
22 August (Thursday)
Woke up by 4:00. My sisters-in-law Sandhya Rani and Kranti, my nephew Sujan and I got ready soon and left for Adduroad Junction by 6:00. Took a taxi and left for Visakhapatnam. We reached Mediworld Hospital by 8:40 because of goodness of the taxi driver. Sujan has been complaining of chest pain. Doctor Peda Veerraju examined him and told us to get him tested at a nearby diagnostic center. We got Kranti also checked up. By 9:30 we took Sujan to Vijaya Diagnostic Center for medical tests. After that, we went to cinema Jyothi in an auto rickshaw and saw the Telugu film “Indra” of Chiranjeevi. I saw this film for the second time today. It is a very interesting film and Lahari is my concern. It was drizzling by the time we came out of the cinema after the show. We had our lunch at a nearby hotel and came back to the Collectorate Junction in an auto rickshaw. We collected the medical reports of Sujan from Vijaya Diagnostic Center and moved to Mediworld Hospital. We waited for the doctor for some time. By 5:15 we left for railway station in an auto rickshaw. We took Visakhapatnam-Kakinada passenger and reached home by 9:00. Went to sleep by 10:30.
23 August (Friday)
Woke up by 6:00. Scanned today’s dailies for some time. Went to post office by 8:30 to collect my subscription copy of India Today. Our present postman is an unreliable bloke. So, I have to be proactive in collecting my mail during crucial times. Filled in contest form of “Independence Day Challenges” of this weekly and went back to post it. By 8:30 called up my sweetheart Lahari in Hyderabad. She had just woken up drowsily from her bed and attended her cellular phone call. Asked her about her participation in the inaugural function of the branch of “Chiranjeevi Blood Bank” in Vijayawada yesterday. She said that it all went on well. I told her to watch the Telugu feature film “Prema Saagaram” this afternoon on Eenadu television channel. I watched it this afternoon at home. It has a gripping love story but the selection of artistes and picturization are not good. However, it is a great film. By 6:30 started writing a letter for Lahari. I wrote a letter on her behalf to Telugu film actor Chiranjeevi. It is to be sent to him by her requesting him to allow her soon to hand her memento to him. I wrote my personal letter also to her. I put four of my photos also in the envelope for her though she did not ask me to send them. Went to sleep by 10:30.
24 August (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:00. Before that I saw my sweetheart Lahari in my early morning dream. It pleased me immensely. I can’t describe it. Thanks to my Lord Gopal and Mother Saraswati for blessing me with such a great dream. It is invaluable for me. Only divine bodies can produce such a classic dream. Went to post office by 9:00 and posted the envelope to Lahari. Spent rest of my time watching television and listening to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder. Afternoon my sister-in-law Sowjanya and my brother-in-law Ramesh came from Rambilli for a visit. I put on the audio cassette of my interview with Lahari on our tape recorder for Sowjanya to listen. I showed my album of Lahari’s photos also to her. They left for their home by 6:00. Then I paid a visit to the houses of our relatives in this village. My aunt Subhadra (younger sister of my father) talked with me about the offer of a dowry of one crore rupees to me from a rich Kshatriya family in Bhima Varam. The prerequisite is that I should get a job, which carries a monthly salary, not less than 10,000 rupees. I wondered at my value in the present marriage market. My father thinks a lot to give me even 10,000 rupees for something. A third party is willing to offer me that much of money without knowing much about me. Irony no! I think Lahari values me a little! Went to sleep by 10:00.
25 August (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:30. Today it was cloudy. It rained a bit. There is a job vacancy of Call Center Executive in the USA. A recruiting agency based at Chennai placed that ad. I can earn US dollars by this. I have to earn adequate money in three years’ time and prove my financial strength to my friend Lahari. I want to marry her. I have to earn a lot of money to prove my competence and compatibility to her. I already applied for the position of Sales Consultant in Muscat. Morning prepared an application for this job in the USA. May Lord Gopal and Mother Saraswati bless me. This morning my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani left for Molleru Mallavaram. She starts to Ambala Cantonment on the 30th of this month from there. Today I spent most of my time watching television and listening to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder. Evening watched the Telugu feature films “Jayam” and “Laahiri Laahiri Laahirilo” on the television of one of our relatives in this village. Went to sleep by 10:00 for my dreams.
26 August (Monday)
Woke up by 6:00. Went to post office and posted the job application by 8:00. My uncle Rama Raju and I left for Narsipatnam by 8:30 by bus. Thence we took another bus for Thaandava Junction. Thence we took an auto rickshaw for Nathavaram. We reached the primary health center in that village by 10:30. Today the Lions Club of Visakhapatnam and the Regional Eye Hospital are conducting a Free Eye Checkup program there. Thin layers extended onto the corneas of my uncle, which (we thought) need to be treated. The doctor referred him to the Area Hospital in Narsipatnam for operation. We returned to Narsipatnam and had our lunch at a hotel. It started pouring by 2:30 when we were in a hotel near Krishna Bazar. It rained for about 20 minutes. Then we walked to the nearby Area Hospital and took note of its working hours. We decided to go there sometime later. We came back to home by 4:30 by bus. Freshened up myself and sat for writing letters to Lahari. I wrote three letters to send her. One letter was addressed to her, one letter to her mother Haripriya Devi and one threatening letter to some other fellow. She said that a rich fellow recently started irritating her asking her to marry him. I wrote her to send my letter to him, which I wrote on her behalf. After completing this task, went to sleep by 12:30.
27 August (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:00. Scanned today’s dailies Eenadu and The Hindu for some time. Went to post office by 8:30 and posted the envelope to Lahari. My nephew Sujan and I left for Adduroad Junction by 8:50. We are going to Molleru Mallavaram. Being reluctant to wait for long for a bus, we took a taxi going to Guntur. This Ambassador car met with an accident dashing against a lorry coming from the opposite direction. It occurred on main road around 10:30 in the vicinity of Annavaram. There were six passengers in the car including driver. Nobody suffered injuries in this mishap. My nephew Sujan and I sat beside the right door in the rear. The two doors of the car on the right got damaged and detached from the vehicle. I have the gold ring of Chinni Krishnudu (His image on it) on my ring finger in my right hand. I thought He saved us from this mishap. Giddiness attacked me as soon as I got off the damaged car. A fellow woman passenger got a bottle of drinking water with her. I managed to sit by road and had it. I recovered from it within two minutes. The lorry driver stopped his vehicle. The taxi driver was demanding money from him for the damage caused to his vehicle. Our taxi driver was overtaking that big vehicle taking the right side of the road. The other fellow came correctly (on the left side of the road) and dashed against this car. A Rajahmundry bound express bus arrived there within a few seconds. He stopped it there to take a glance at the accident. We got into it and resumed our journey to Jaggampeta. We paid a visit to Sahithi Public School being run by Datla Krishna Varma, the brother-in-law of my brother Srinivas. We took a bus for Molleru Mallavaram by 11:45 from bus station. We reached the house of the parents of my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani by 2:00. They were all busy cooking some dishes to take to Ambala Cantonment. They thanked God for saving us from the edge of death. I showed my album of Lahari’s photos to my aunt Lakshmi. Went to sleep by 9:30.
28 August (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:00. I slept well last night in the thatched hut. It was cool outside and cosy inside. When the ceiling fan was on, the cool air was being circulated around in that hut in a pleasant way. The bed was also suitable. It helped for my sound sleep. I had a dream. I was driving a beautiful car when my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani was seated in the rear. Morning we could not get a tape recorder to play the audio cassette of my interview with Lahari for my aunt Lakshmi to listen. Had my breakfast of bondas (a local dish) prepared by my aunt Lakshmi. Talked with my uncle Krishnam Raju for two hours. I scanned the album of photos of their family when they were scanning my album of Lahari’s photos. Had a light meal and left for Jaggampeta by 12:00 by bus. Took a Visakhapatnam bound express bus by 1:45 for Adduroad from the bus station in Jaggampeta. To my surprise, it was the same express bus in which we travelled yesterday from Annavaram to Jaggampeta after the fatal car accident. I think Lord Krishna has some plans for my future. He flung His protective net and saved us yesterday. Thanks for His alertness. Reached my home by 4:00. Found a letter of intimation from Hawkins (a company associated with pressure cookers) asking me to come for taking a written test in Secunderabad on the 8th of next month. Night called up Lahari and enquired about her well-being. I found her a little disappointed about her film career. Went to sleep by 10:00.
29 August (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:00. All the day stayed within the village and spent much of my time listening to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder and watching television. Afternoon wrote a nine-page letter to Lahari. In it I clarified a few points to her, which make her understand why she can’t get more chances to act in films in a short period of time. Now film industry is filled with filth of falsity and immorality behind the screen. Many producers and directors manipulate female artistes in the film industry. I don’t think that Lahari can fulfill her dream of becoming a famous actress in this unhealthy and unethical state of affairs without compromising with her moral stand of life. The irony is that she is a spiritually oriented girl but she chose to earn fame in the film industry, which is known for exploitation of female artistes. I like to follow a few ideals. I don’t know how to understand this girl. Should not a girl desire to act in films? I must encourage and support her. An idealist should not impose his notions and principles on others. The name of Lord Krishna follows, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Went to sleep by 10:30.
30 August (Friday)
Woke up by 6:00. Today I received an envelope from the Rey Institute of Film Technology in Chennai. Their brochure carries information about their correspondence course in acting and direction. They stated that one can earn in lakhs when learning these skills of art. To check the substance of their words, I sent 50 rupees by Money Order toward the cost of application form and prospectus. Today I received the second year course material of the “Port Development and Management” from the Institute of Rail Transport in New Delhi also. I did not take even the first year examinations, which were conducted recently in Chennai. I cannot complete this course because this subject is very difficult for candidates beyond shipping industry to understand and remember. I should think that I lost 6,000 rupees having entered it hurriedly and leaving it in the middle. Morning and afternoon spent at the tent house in Adduroad talking with my familiar ones. Recently I started disliking Lahari recollecting the scenes of her exhibitionism (in the Indian context ‘exhibitionism’ means girls and women showing off their bodies very liberally in films, media and other related events and occasions. Many traditional Indians don’t have a good opinion about such girls and women. I am one of such traditionalists in relation to Lahari in this context) in some films. I regret this change in my attitude towards Lahari. She cannot survive in the present film industry unless she changes her outlook on the chastity of body. I have no right to criticize her. Her priorities are different. She is running after shadows of fame discarding the light of truth and vision. Let her act as long as she can. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 9:30.
31 August (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:00. Today it is Krishnaastami, the birth anniversary of Lord Krishna. My parents have been performing the formal worship of Lord Krishna in His temple at Ramayyapatnam for the last few years. My parents, my brother Sambha, my sister-in-law Kranti, my nephew Sujan, my cousin Hari and I started to that village by 8:30. The formal worship took place between 9:30 and 11:00 under the supervision of a priest. I inserted a two-rupee coin in His collection box at this temple, broke a coconut at His feet and rang the bell to wake Him up from His sound sleep on cushion bed in heaven. Returned home by 12:30 on my bicycle. Rested on bed for some time and then had my lunch. Went to the tent house in Adduroad and spent there for three hours. Went to the house of my aunt Subhadra and watched some programs on their color television for some time. My cousin Hari and I watched the Telugu feature film “S.P. Parasuram” of Chiranjeevi on Gemini television channel till 7:55. From 7:55 to 8:25 we watched the program “Thums Up 2002 Challenge”. Lahari was the guest in it. She has to judge the performance of participants in that dance program. She did well in it. After coming back to home, wrote a three-page letter to her commenting on her performance in this program. Called her up and talked with her mother also. Went to sleep by 11:00.
1 September (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Went to post office by 9:00 and posted the letter to Lahari. Spent some time talking with my friend Krishna Varma. He listened to my interview with Lahari on our tape recorder. Afternoon watched television for some time. Listened to the songs of the Telugu film “Manamiddharam” on our tape recorder for some time. Evening spent at the tent house in Adduroad for three hours. Evening called up my friend Colin Leslie Kelman in Hyderabad. By 2:00 my uncle Rama Krishnam Raju came from Ramuladeva Puram. My aunt Satyavati sent some homemade sweets for us with him. The name of Lord Krishna follows, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Went to sleep by 10:30.
2 September (Monday)
Woke up by 6:00. By mistake, my today’s activities were written on the preceding page. Listening to melodious songs from the Telugu film “Megha Sandesham” on tape recorder, I wrote today’s events in the page of Sundays. My thought follows, “Admiration is a heavenly feeling of human heart. Now I am involved in that practice toward an important person in my life. Once our heart begins to admire somebody, the entire world seems to be fantastic and thrilling. We believe in and worship deities but they don’t spend with us in our real lives. We need human beings to care for and to be cared by. Our feelings and dealings should be tender and possessive toward the person we admire. The value of the person we admire depends on our intensity of admiration. We can make a man a god by our pursuit of admiration. There won’t be celebrities and deities unless there are admirers. This sense of admiration consoles the solitary psyche of a person. It is a feeling of belongingness in an abstract manner. Dreams and fantasies dominate the sphere of admiration. Truths may be too bitter to bear but admiration heals upset lives of bohemians and introverts”. Went to sleep by 9:30.
3 September (Tuesday)
Woke up by 6:00. Morning scanned the two dailies (the Telugu daily Eenadu and the English daily The Hindu delivered by paperboy) at home. My artist friend Veeranjaneyulu called me up this morning from Hyderabad and talked with me for some time. Morning I decided to go to take the written test of Hawkins Limited in Secunderabad on the 8th of this month. My birthday falls on that date. It is coincidental that I have to take a test on the same day. Very few can get such a great chance. So, I want to take it happily. Reached the house of my uncle Rama Raju at Raja Venkata Nagaram by 11:30 on my bicycle. I showed the color photos of Lahari to my aunt Raja Kumari. She was much impressed by the beauty of Lahari. We talked about general things of our relatives for some time. I asked her to prepare Sunnundalu (a local sweet dish) for Lahari. She readily agreed for it. Came back to Adduroad by 4:00. Bought two kilos of sugar at a general store and sent it to her for preparing the sweets for Lahari. My friend Krishna Varma came to our house and talked with me for two hours. By 5:00 called up my friends Colin, Veeranjaneyulu and Lahari in Hyderabad. Lahari and her mother were performing Raahu Pooja (a special worship meant for appeasing a villainous star in the sky) in their rented apartment in Hyderabad when I called them up (from 3:00 to 4:30). I talked with them for ten minutes during this time. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 9:30.
4 September (Wednesday)
Woke up by 6:00. Morning it drizzled for half an hour. Today it is the day of Opportunities in the English dailyThe Hindu. There is a vacancy of “Salesman” in the United Arab Emirates. It is with an MNC selling jewellery. Wrote a covering letter, enclosed the necessary photocopies of my certificates with the CV and posted the stamped envelope at our post office. Read my subscription copy India Today for some time. Filled in the contest form of “Challenge III” and posted it. This entry was also sent on behalf of my sweetheart Lahari. Came back to home and rested on bed from 10:00 to 12:00. Had my lunch and left for NRPM railway station. Got a sleeper class berth reserved for me to Godavari Express and came back to home. Went to the house of my uncle Rama Raju at Raja Venkata Nagaram to give money to my aunt Raja Kumari to buy fresh ghee for the preparation of Sunnundalu for Lahari. I gave 75 rupees for it. Afternoon saw the Telugu film “Aaduthoo Paaduthoo” in cinema Venkatapathi Raju Mahal at Adduroad along with my friend. He bought my chair ticket and offered me a cool drink. Very few spend money for “the other” without expecting some benefit these days. He spent a little money for me. May God bless him. Evening sent sugar and ghee to Raja Venkata Nagaram. Spent some time at the tent house in Adduroad. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00.
5 September (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:00. All the day spent at home. Morning had a dream. From 3:00 watched the Telugu feature film “Police Commissioner” on Eenadu television channel. Night participated in the casual talk of my folks. Today it is Teachers Day. It would be celebrated in India on the birth anniversary of Dr Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan. I wonder at the showy celebrations on this day in the name of honoring teachers. The President of India presents awards to extraordinary teachers in a ceremony at New Delhi. Nowadays one can hardly see the true spirit of service in a teacher. Teachers are torturing students burdening them with loads of work to make them get high marks in the final examinations. Resultantly the system of institutional learning became a mechanical process. Now private education means public robbery of money by businessmen from the helpless parents of students. Boys and girls, in almost all the educational institutions, learnt well how to spoil themselves. They are aping the lifestyles of celebrities and disappearing from the map of sensible human beings. Education is a business today but not a way meant for one’s psychological growth or cultural refinement. It is not a pessimistic view of the present society. How many teachers are responsible for this ugly society today? How should we treat them? Went to sleep by 9:30.
6 September (Friday)
Woke up by 5:00. These days I am feeling dizzy frequently due to lack of self-discipline in food consumption. My nephew Sujan complained of a stomachache and avoided going to school today. Went to Ramakrishna’s medical store in Adduroad and bought tablets for his stomachache and my giddiness. Went to our nearby rice mill by 9:00 to attend the work of getting one sack of paddy husked. This is a small service I am offering to my parents and my brother. From 9:30 to 10:30 participated in a lively talk about the values in joint families in the present society at the tent house with two familiar ones. Reached the house of my uncle Rama Raju at Raja Venkata Nagaram by 11:00. Spent observing the ongoing work of preparing Sunnundalu by my aunt Raja Kumari. It went on for more than two hours. She prepared them with dexterity and patience. I am grateful to her for her service to me in this regard. Sixty-four items of this sweet were carefully and equally arranged in two plastic containers. I bought a jute bag to keep these two containers. I present them to Lahari very soon. Came back to home by 4:00. Spent talking with two of my friends till 6:00. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00.
7 September (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:00. All the day stayed at home watching television. This morning, when I got up, I found myself affected by a slight fever. I was not affected by this illness during the last six years or so. Evening took Godavari Express at Narsipatnam Road railway station for Hyderabad. My Berth No. is 68 and the Coach No. is S4. The train pulled off the station by 6:30. Today it is the last day of my 26th year of life. For blessing me with such good life, for all these years, in gratitude for His kindness toward me, I write the name of my Lord Krishna. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare.
8 September (Sunday)
Got off Godavari Express at Hyderabad railway station by 7:00. Hired an auto rickshaw and proceeded to the Uco Arcade at Yellareddyguda. Lahari did not get out of bed by then. She woke up by 9:00. I already informed her about my visit to their abode on this date. If she has really a bit of affection or admiration for me, she would not have remained asleep despite knowing that I was there in their house. I was hurt by her careless attitude toward me. Meanwhile a fellow came in. He said that he has the role of a heroine to offer to Lahari in a Hindi film he is going to produce very soon. Lahari and her mother believed in his words and kept talking with him. Her father Poorna Chandra Rao and I sensed that he is a trickster. These two creatures did not listen to us. Lahari did not get time to talk with me. In fact she did not like to talk with me neglecting the film agent. She wants fame. She believed that this bloke can get her a chance to act in a Hindi film. I was deeply hurt by her indifference toward me. I came from Visakhapatnam to see her. I brought two containers of homemade sweets for her. She could not spare even five minutes to talk with me. I left their apartment by 9:30. Hired an auto rickshaw and proceeded to Wesley Boys High School at Pender Ghast Road in Secunderabad. Had a plate of purees at a hotel by the road and entered the school to take the written test being conducted by Hawkins Company. Took this test from 11:00 to 2:00. There were two papers. I did well in the English paper. I did poorly in the arithmetic. Reached the HCU campus by 5:00. Rested for two hours in the hostel room of my friend Manohar Babu. Meanwhile our friend Colin arrived. By 7:00 three of us moved to Department of English. Senior students of M.A. English literature course were giving a “Freshers Party” to their juniors. Professor Sudhakar Marathe, Professor Mohan G Ramanan and Professor Sachidananda Mohanty too attended it. It went on from 8:00 to 12:00. I did not have my supper. My 26th birthday was celebrated that way. Went to sleep by 12:30 in the hostel room of my friend Manohar Babu of Visakhapatnam.
9 September (Monday)
Woke up by 6:00. Still I am suffering from fever. I did not pay necessary attention to get rid of it in a medical sense. So, it stayed back with me. I know that this is a guest that visited me by the direction of my naughty Krishna. Let it be with me for some more time. Freshened up myself soon and talked with my friends for two hours. By 9:50 my friend Colin Leslie Kelman and I had our breakfast at Student Center Canteen. Then he left for his classes at English department. I walked to the nearby Shopping Complex and bought ten airmail envelopes. Thence left for Kuchipudi Art Academy at Domal Guda to meet Shobha Naidu and hand my memento to her. It was kept somewhere by her secretary in his house near the academy. She was not available. Then left for Madina Building in Kothi to buy a few pieces of white cotton cloth for my uncle Rama Raju. Thence moved to Secunderabad railway station in an auto rickshaw. From 2:30 to 7:30 sat on a platform thinking about the hurt caused by Lahari. Took Gauthami Express by 7:30. Got a seat. It started off by 8:10. It was very crowded. I found the journey unbearable.
10 September (Tuesday)
Got off Gauthami Express by 4:30 at Vijayawada Junction. Rested on an iron bench for half an hour on a platform. Ratnachal Express was put on a platform by 5:15. Got into it and sat in a comfortable cushion seat thinking of the hellish night journey that preceded. My fellow passengers, in the general compartment of train, last night, spent a sleepless, agonizing and horrific night. Even today the third-class train journey in India remained a hellish experience for a poor passenger. The number of trains being run and the level of comfort being provided to the rich increased but the predicament of the poor remained the same over the years. Ratnachal Express started off by 6:00. I enjoyed the speed of train. Praised the train drivers inwardly. There were very few passengers in this train because it is an intercity express and also because today it is Vinayaka Chavithi. Got off it at Annavaram railway station by 11:00. Thence took two buses (at Annavaram and Tuni) and reached Adduroad by 1:00. Thence hired a rickshaw and reached home by 1:05. I felt very exhausted and so rested on bed for some time. In that unhappy mood, I wrote a nine-page letter to Lahari asking her for a reply for why she hurt me that badly. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 10:00.
11 September (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Read the Telugu daily Eenadu for one hour. By 8:30 went to post office and posted the letter to Lahari. This letter has nine pages. I presented a thirteen-headline-based analysis of the event that happened on the 8th of this month in the rented apartment of Lahari. She has to give me explanatory answers to my six questions. She has to send back her reply to me so as to reach me on or before 25th of this month. In case, she does not respond to me in time, she would be permanently disconnected from my friendship. I neither call her up nor receive her calls during this period of time. Our friendship gets terminated even if her reply reaches me on the 26th of this month. Nobody on this earth can make us friends again if she fails to answer me properly before this deadline. I am a disciplined man. I can’t endure undisciplined ones. May God help her if she really deserves my friendship. This is my disciplinary action against her. Vice should be identified and cured immediately. Went to sleep by 9:30.
12 September (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:00. Scanned today’s dailies for some time and sent an application for a job advertised in The Hindu. Even today I suffered from fever. Spent much of my time at home simply lying down on bed. Evening went to the military doctor (he recently retired from the Indian Army. He held a medical position in it) in Adduroad to consult him about my fever. He got me examined and said that I did not have fever. However, under my compulsion, he prescribed some tablets for me. Night listened to melodious Telugu cine songs on our tape recorder. Today it is the birthday of Lahari. She entered my life one year ago on my request to make me her friend. I enjoyed my familiarity with her a lot. Her voice is sweet, her face is cute and her behavior is decent. On this occasion, I pray Lord Gopal and Mother Saraswati to allow us to be friends. The fulfillment of our dreams pushes us toward the achievement of the goal we set for ourselves. May all the Hindu deities direct her with compassion and affection. Let her have a long and happy life in the delightful company of her near and dear ones. She is presently into films. Let her have a bright path of success being protected by gods. Went to sleep by 9:30.
13 September (Friday)
Woke up by 5:30. Morning scanned the two dailies. The Telugu film “Manamiddharam” in which Lahari played the role of a heroine was released to cinemas yesterday. It has been my practice ever since my friendship was started with her to see her film at the earliest after its release but I installed a deadlock recently in that flow of friendship to correct her behavior toward me. I allotted a space of respect and admiration for her in my heart. I have been searching for somebody for years to admire. I found this girl suitable for it last year. I believe that she is a gift to me from God. I think an evil force worked on her that morning. It forced her to behave carelessly toward me. I was compelled to shoot an arrow of fury toward her because I admire her. Admiration means deep affection. It expects good manners from the other person. Probably she receives my letter today. If she is virtuous and visionary, she does not hesitate to give me an honest reply at the earliest. Went to sleep by 9:00.
14 September (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day stayed within the home and spent much of my time simply lying down on bed. My thought follows, “Attraction between two opposite genders is a universal phenomenon. The wonder lies in the inherent tendencies of all living creatures that get united intuitively. Why don’t these things happen in opposite way? A boy becomes eccentric if he remains away from the company of girls in his familiarity for long. A solitary girl suffers a lot inwardly if she fails to get a partner in her life due to a physical deformity. Man is born into a world of magnetic temptations. A man or woman won’t be different from a brute if he or she is given absolute freedom to behave as he or she likes toward the females and males in his or her reach. A man behaves a bit sensibly and sensitively only because he is surrounded by a society which punishes or kills him if he behaves according to his wild desires and weird fantasies representing true human nature. Can modern man accept the fact that boys and girls and men and women are dying daily being unable to cope with the norms and principles imposed and set by their family, society and nation? A man or woman is trying to live with only one woman or man not because he or she likes it but because their society appreciates it and their nation approves it. Real men and women died centuries ago in caves and bushes. We are witnessing born actors and actresses in the present society”. Went to sleep by 9:30.
15 September (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Morning spent some time talking with my friends in Adduroad. Meanwhile my uncle Chanti Babu (of village Durgada) came. Brought him to our house. Evening spent some time watching television at the house of my aunt Subhadra. Evening it rained a bit. This morning my brother Srinivas called us up from Rajasthan. This evening my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani called us up from Ambala Cantonment. I could not talk with her. Then my cousin Hari and I were standing by road near our house to get an auto rickshaw for my uncle Chanti Babu. He would leave for Durgada by a passenger train from NRPM railway station. Night saw the Telugu film “Kubusam” of Sri Hari in cinema Venkatapathi Raju Mahal at Adduroad along with my folks. It was excellent. It discusses the issue of naxalism in India. This radical movement was born in West Bengal years ago. It later spread to some other states in India. They aim at achieving social justice through violence against the bourgeois ruling class and exploitative bureaucracy. They would be ready to sacrifice their lives in this struggle. Many representatives of government die in their fight with them. The scale of injustice and the rate of crime increased in India after independence. Nobody can uproot naxalism from India as long as there is poverty and corruption in it. I don’t think I can see India in that state in my lifetime. Went to sleep by 1:00.
16 September (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. Morning scanned the two dailies (The Hindu and Eenadu). By 8:45 went to post office to check if I got any mail. I got a redirected letter from English department in HCU. It came from the office of Indian Council for Cultural Relations in New Delhi. They sent me the names of the winners of the Maulana Azad Annual Essay Competition in which I too participated last year when I was in my third semester course of studies at the University of Hyderabad. They stated the topic for this year for this contest. I am not interested to participate in it. Early achievement of financial independence and marriage are my present concerns. Went to Elamanchili by 10:30 by bus for getting my educational certificates and passport photocopied. This is to be ready to send applications for job vacancies advertised in the English daily The Hindu. After this work, saw the Telugu film “Modhati Anubhavam” in cinema Venkateswara. This film is based on the account of the Fall of Adam and Eve after eating the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden. It was produced well. I enjoyed watching it. Came back to home by 2:30. Evening spent at the tent house for some time talking with my friends. Night listened to Telugu cine songs for some time. Went to sleep by 9:30.
17 September (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies and took note of the latest developments in India. By 8:30 went to post office to check if I got any mail. From 9:30 to 11:30 spent at the tent house in Adduroad talking with the available ones. Shut it down and came back to home by 11:45. Rested on bed for one hour. Had my lunch by 1:00. My brother Sambha and I left for our mango garden at hills by 2:00. Today also it was very hot. Farmers and common people are eagerly waiting for seasonal rains. Now many became corrupt and immoral. Consequently the five elements (air, water, fire, earth and sky) stopped working according to their natural order. We reached the house of my uncle Narayana Murthy by 2:45. We rested under the big tamarind tree before their thatched hut for some time. Then we went to our mango garden to check its readiness for the coming season. I felt refreshed and rejuvenated walking from among the trees along with my brother. We returned home by 6:00 on bicycles. By then the parents of my sister-in-law Kranti came from Tangedu. Night talked with my folks for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00.
18 September (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies. I did not find suitable job vacancies for me. Went to the government high school in our village by 10:00 to talk with its head master. Recently my cousin Hari complained to me about him. He said that our fellow has been making nuisance in the school picking up quarrels with his classmates on trivialities. His clarification was convincing and right. So, my uncle Srinivasa Raju and I came back to home. This morning I sent the fifth entry of the “Making Sense of India Contest” of the English weekly India Today on behalf of my friend Lahari. I have been involved in this task for the last five weeks. I am participating in this contest on behalf of Lahari thinking that she wins a fabulous prize like car. From 11:30 to 12:30 rested on bed. Afternoon spent much of my time at the tent house talking with my familiar ones. Had half a glass of grape juice at a shop offered by my friend Gangaraju. He is one of my good friends. It rained around 4:00 and healed our scorched bodies. Thanks to God. Night called up my friends Veeranjaneyulu and Colin in Hyderabad to enquire about their well-being. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00.
19 September (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:30. Read the two dailies till 8:00. Today I spent much of my time at home. A friend of mine came from Darlapudi and spent here for some time making my time bearable. I applied for the position of Sales Consultant at Bahwan Automotive Center at Muscat in the Sultanate of Oman on the 5th of July from Hyderabad. I have been waiting for their letter of intimation for interview at Chennai. I requested my friend Colin to inform me if I get any letter to Department of English in the University of Hyderabad. When I am engaged in this tedious task of wait, the recent behavior of Lahari toward me hurt me. Eventually I shot an arrow of fury toward her. She has to respond to my letter before the 25th of this month. The deadline is nearing. So, I have to take further steps to disconnect my year-long friendship with her in the event of her not giving me a reply. I was severely hurt by her behavior in the morning hours on the 8th of this month. The withdrawal of my friendship with her affects me much. I admired her like a goddess. She hurt me. It affects my admiration for female beauty and sensitivity. Went to sleep by 9:00.
20 September (Friday)
Woke up by 5:30. Morning scanned the two dailies. Today I want to enjoy seeing the beauty of Indian villages. Touring villages refreshes one a lot. My uncle Srinivasa Raju and I started our journey on our bicycles to Lakshmi Puram by 11:00. My younger paternal grandfather Narayana Murthy has been living in that village for the last 20 years. He remained poor working as a supervisor in a coconut garden there. They are living in a thatched hut in poor conditions. I enjoyed my bicycle journey observing huts and chores of villagers by road. Both of us reached their house in the coconut garden by 12:00. Today it was cloudy and sultry. My uncle Baasi took us through that coconut garden and offered us fresh coconut water. We enjoyed drinking the cool natural beverage and eating the soft white flesh in the coconut. Thereafter three of us moved to the nearby seashore and enjoyed walking on the wet sand sensing the spell of salty breezes which tan skin fast. We talked about some interesting sea-related accounts. I was elated dipping my hands in the cold seawater under the cloudy sky. Thereafter we enjoyed sitting by rock pools for some time. Evening we had our supper there with delicious hot fish soup prepared by my grandmother. We returned home by 8:00 riding our bicycles on dark roads. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 9:30.
21 September (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:30. Morning scanned the two dailies. Went to post office by 8:30 to pay our telephone bill and received a letter from the Time magazine in New Delhi. They put an attractive wristwatch as a gift to subscribers. Now I am in financial problems. So, I cannot utilize their offer. Afternoon called up to Lahari’s cellular phone. She said that she had not received any letter recently from me. She was on the steps of the temple of Raghavendra Swamy, in an auto rickshaw and at her apartment during the three calls I made subsequently to her. I talked about the point of her behavior that morning with me. She responded arrogantly and repulsively. Sensing the careless attitude of the girl toward me, I decided to stop writing letters to her, to avoid frequent phone calls and to refrain myself from proactive visits to their abode. Otherwise she can’t understand whether she needs my friendship at all or not. In my dream, this night, she appeared to me sorrowfully and penitently. I should say that it is a classic dream. It was presented spectacularly. I can’t see her sad face even in my dreams. This morning I sent a piece of poetry in Telugu to the office of Telugu daily Eenadu in Hyderabad. Went to sleep by 10:00.
22 September (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Morning scanned the two dailies. By 8:00 my aunt Raja Kumari came from Raja Venkata Nagaram. She is going to see her son at A P Residential School in Peda Boddepalli near Narsipatnam. I saw him many days ago. So, I decided to go along with her to see him. We reached Peda Boddepalli Junction by 9:45 by bus. Thence we walked for ten minutes and reached A P R School. We knew that he had gone to see a film in Narsipatnam. He returned from there by 2:30. He felt very happy at our visit. He took the homemade eatables brought by his mother. We spent there for three hours. Meanwhile we discovered that my aunt Raja Kumari lost 350 rupees. She put it in a purse. It was lost somewhere during the bus journey. She felt upset at the loss of money due to her negligence. We had our lunch by 2:00. We started back by 3:00. Reached home by 4:00 by bus. Watched television for some time. Then wrote a letter to send to Muscat. Two months ago I sent an application for a job in that city. There was no response from them so far. I wrote this letter to seek clarification from them in this regard. Night watched the weekly Telugu program “Pelli Pandhiri” on Teja television channel. Went to sleep by 9:30.
23 September (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. Morning scanned the two dailies. Watched television for one hour. By 9:30 went to post office and posted the two letters. One letter is for eradicating corruption from bureaucracy. Came back to home by 10:00. Watched television for some time. Then left for Adduroad along with my uncles Srinivasa Raju and Rama Raju. I took our Philips tape recorder also to get repaired. It was bought and brought by my brother Srinivas about three years ago. It is a good piece with two sound boxes. Whenever I feel bored, I listen to radio or songs playing cassettes on it. I listen to songs for elevation needed for creativity. My select Telugu cine songs are the main inspiration for my optimistic life. My brother Srinivas helped me a lot keeping this piece in our home. He has passion for electronic gadgets. The mechanic could not repair it for want of tools to loosen its screws. I put it in the tent house and played melodious Telugu cine songs on it at high volume. I spent like this for two hours in the morning and for five hours in the afternoon. Some of my friends joined me in the evening for casual talk. Went to sleep by 8:30.
24 September (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies. Watched television for some time. On account of my anger toward Lahari, I have not seen her Telugu film “Manamiddharam” yet. I should think that the dispute is almost resolved by my initiative of talking with her recently over telephone. Started to Payakaraopeta by 10:30 from Adduroad in an auto rickshaw. Saw the aforesaid film from 11:30 to 2:00 in cinema Sai Mahal. The story of the film and the direction are good. All the six songs are picturized well except a few objectionable scenes shot on Lahari in a duet. She is presented well throughout the film in terms of her costumes. Two vulgar scenes were shot on her, which run for a few seconds. Her performance in terms of facial expressions and body language in tune to the mood of scenes are good. It seems she acted in this film with passion and zeal. I give 85 marks for 100 for her performance in this film. Ten marks for scenes of vulgarity in Punjabi dress and five marks for a few obscene dance steps in red sand hills at Visakhapatnam are lost by her. This film may contribute to her film career though it is not a commercial success. The success or failure of a film at box office can’t/shouldn’t place it in a category of quality because viewers do not watch it as experts or artists but as ordinary human beings with variable moods and crazy tastes of their own. I enjoyed it. Went to sleep by 9:30.
25 September (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the ads of job vacancies in the “Opportunities” section in The Hindu for some time. I could not find even one suitable job vacancy for me today. Went to post office by 8:30 and collected my subscription copy of India Today. Filled in the 6th entry form of the “Making Sense of India Contest” and enveloped it. The contest of this issue of the weekly is on the state of higher education in India. Filled in the postal address of my sweetheart Lahari and posted the envelope. I would be very happy if she wins the grand prize in this contest. I know that it is all a matter of chance. After that I nagged my mother to buy the fresh groundnuts of this season from a hawker going on bicycle for our domestic consumption. Went to the tent house in Adduroad by 9:30 and spent there till 12:00 listening to Telugu cine songs on our tape recorder. I enjoyed it a lot. Returned home and had a siesta for one hour. Had my lunch by 1:30, ate boiled peanuts and proceeded to the tent house. From 2:00 to 6:30 listened to songs on tape recorder and talked with my friends. Came back to home by 6:45. There is regular power cut problem despite the promise of the present Chief Minister Chandra Babu Naidu of the 24-hour power supply during his recent election campaign. Went to sleep by 10:00.
26 September (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:30. This morning I noticed the change in the name and the logo of the Muscat-based automotive company to which I recently sent an application for a job. Earlier it was called “Bahwan Automotive Centre”. Now it is “Saud Bahwan Group”. I applied for the position of “Sales Consultant” in this group’s showroom dealing with international brand cars. Morning spent at the tent house for some time listening to Telugu cine songs on our tape recorder. Had my lunch by 1:30 and left for Elamanchili by 2:00. Called up the office of the aforesaid company in the Sultanate of Oman to enquire about their progress in shortlisting the names of candidates to call for the test. They said that they have not yet finalized it and that one can expect a letter of intimation for interview from them within two or three weeks’ time. I spent about 50 rupees for these calls. I have much hope of being called by this company and so this enquiry gave me the latest information about it. Spent some time in public library, had a glass of grape juice and came back to home by 6:30 by bus. Rang up my friend Colin in Hyderabad and informed him about my telephonic talk with the company in Muscat regarding my job. He felt happy at the authentic information received from the company. By 8:30 called up the mother of Lahari and talked with her for ten minutes. From 9:45 to 9:55 talked with Lahari over telephone. Went to sleep by 11:00 amid fluctuations in power supply.
27 September (Friday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies. Morning and afternoon spent at the tent house listening to songs on tape recorder. By 5:30 my friend Shiva and I left for the public library in our nearby village Koruprolu on bicycles. My purpose of going to this library was to collect a modelling ad of Lahari given in a Telugu weekly. We were disappointed to know that this library observes a holiday on Fridays. Returned home by 7:30 from the tent house. Night talked with my uncle Srinivasa Raju for some time. After coming back from the HCU, my task has been to apply for job vacancies and to wait for the replies from those employers. Nowadays every employer thinks that he is a great savior of the unemployed in this world and so feels proud of himself a lot. A fellow like me with a desire to lead a comfortable life needs to try for overseas jobs. This tendency in me made me wait at home until my desired job comes my way. Overseas recruiting agencies take more time for selection of candidates. I am waiting for a good job. May Lord Ganesh, Lord Krishna and Mother Saraswati help me in this regard. Went to sleep by 10:00.
28 September (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two newspapers from 7:00 to 8:00. My uncle Srinivasa Raju and I went to the house of palmist Indira in our village. She is a Brahmin. She must be 60. Regarding my past, she said that I met with a fatal accident in my childhood, led a troublesome life for seven years, did a job and that our family prospered after my birth. Regarding my future, she said that I would travel by aeroplanes on my job purposes, have a love marriage with the girl of my admiration who would be very religious and beautiful, get some property from the mother of my wife, beget one son and one daughter, live a long life and encounter a mishap at the age of 70. Regarding my nature, she said that I like to live independently and spend money thoughtfully. I felt very happy at her predictions about my past and future looking at my palm. Whatever she said about my past is true. It has to be seen how my future unfolds. By 3:00 went to public library in Koruprolu on my bicycle to collect the modelling ad of Lahari from a recent copy of the Telugu weekly Swati. I could not get the desired copy of it. From 4:30 to 5:30 wrote a letter to my friend Vijaya Krishna in Vijayawada giving him a few ideas on how to run a hotel. Our mango garden associate Appa Rao (of Ramayyapatnam) would give this letter to him. He is going to that city to pull a rickshaw and eke out a living for some days. Went to sleep by 10:00 in the open, facing sky.
29 September (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent most of my time at the tent house in Adduroad and listening to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder at my home. The name of Lord Krishna follows, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Went to sleep by 9:30.
30 September (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. Today I spent at the tent house of my brother Sambha in Adduroad and at my home. Today I had boiled groundnuts and cheese (made with buffalo milk, pepper and jaggery) at home. My thought follows, “It seems that human body is a great creation of God. Doctors are struggling day and night to save the lives of men and women from various diseases and deformities associated with human body. Scientists are spending their lives in laboratories trying to understand the complex nature and functioning of human body. A rich man lives in luxuries fulfilling his bodily desires and a poor fellow struggles to live meeting his minimum necessities. Both are concerned about their bodies. The more the scientific advancement of man, the more the emergence of challenges before him. Now doctors are recommending various preventive and curative measures for the maintenance of a healthy and strong body. One falls prey to a dilemma wherein one can’t decide what to eat or how to live to meet these norms. Impulsive eating leads to stomach expansion and balanced diet causes unhappiness. God is great in creating human body but our concern is centered on its vulnerability and the power of its villains, which may attack it at any time. What should we call the journey of man from his birth to death? Is it not a hell of insecurity and anxiety regarding health that one undergoes every day? Has God made our body into a heaven or a hell?”. Night talked with my folks for some time. Went to sleep by 10:00.
1 October (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent all the day at my home and the tent house. Night my brother Srinivas called us up from Ambala Cantonment. I felt happy to talk with him. Rang up my sweetheart Lahari by 9:30 at night. She said that it is very hot in Hyderabad. She is suffering from slight fever. She is going to Tirupati very soon to inaugurate something. She is learning driving a car and planning to buy one for her soon. Also they are planning to move to some other flat in Hyderabad. Now she is in the hope of getting a chance to act the role of a heroine in a Telugu film to be directed by Vamsy (one of the great directors in Telugu film industry) soon. She may act in a Tamil film also soon. I wonder at her character. God blessed her with both physical and spiritual beauty. There are caring family members around her. She has good financial background also. Now film industry is very exhibitionist and commercial. Though she is a girl of traditional values and self-imposed rules, the film industry pulls her into a morass of vice. I can imagine the troubles a girl needs to face to become a star in the present film industry but can’t make her realize it because she is living in her dreams. Went to sleep by 10:30.
2 October (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day spent within the home. Today it is the birth anniversary of Mahatma Gandhi. I don’t believe that he is a great man in all respects. He would certainly have violated some codes of conduct outlined in Hindu scriptures. To err is human. He can’t escape from this universal trap of evil but it is an evident fact that he spent much part of his life for the cause of India. Only idealists with humanitarian outlook on the people of a nation can venture into such lifelong commitments like freedom struggle. He died years ago. The present corrupt politicians never hesitate to inaugurate his statue or offer a garland to him for their show business. Great statues are reminders of ideals but very few are following them now. Politicians started games of celebrating the days of great people. Common men and women, representing the values of honesty and perseverance, should be honored to build up an appreciable society. They are real stars of our nation. They have no lofty goals but a simple desire to live peacefully and die naturally. Mahatma Gandhi dreamt of such ideal society. Our corrupt and unethical politicians are commercializing it for their needs. Went to sleep by 10:30.
3 October (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies. Went to post office by 8:45 to collect my subscription copy of India Today. Cut the entry form of the 7th contest, filled in the details and posted it. This week’s contest question seeks our choice from five answers, given on the burning issue of reservations to some communities, considered backward, in India. There is one more contest to participate. My uncle Srinu and I went to cinema Venkatapathi Raju Mahal in Adduroad and saw the recently released Telugu film “Chennakesava Reddy”. He bought my chair ticket also for 15 rupees. This film portrays caste-centred factional conflicts in Rayalaseema region of Andhra Pradesh. The hero and his team retaliate against their enemy group and succeede in it toward the end. The message of this film is that virtue defeats evil in the end. Viewers enjoy blood splashing scenes and hair-raising dialogues in this film. This trend of weapons stained with blood was started two years ago in the Telugu film industry. It dies soon. I enjoyed watching it. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 9:30.
4 October (Friday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies. Rested on bed for one hour. Recently Eastern Power Distribution Company Limited imposed a 12-hour power cut to villages in our region. This power cut would be observed since 3:00 in the morning. So, one can’t sleep well even during night. Day remains dim without power supply at all. It is due to lack of enough water in reservoirs owing to low rainfall and failure of some thermal power stations. Now I am mostly eating and staying at home. Even then my bones are not gaining much weight on them. Presently I am obsessed with the thought of growing fat. Now I am in the early part of my 27th year of life. At this stage of my life, I want to be strong and attractive. My friend Lahari is maintaining a good figure. I like to look like her at least. I need to do exercises, eat bananas and drink milk to reach this goal but the present home environment and my financial condition are not in my favour. May God fulfill my wish at the earliest. Morning spent at the tent house in Adduroad and with my uncle Srinu (the second son of my younger paternal grandfather Narayana Murthy Raju) in the evening. Went to sleep by 9:30.
5 October (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:30. Freshened up myself, had my breakfast and left for Narsipatnam Road railway station by 6:45 along with my aunt Subhadra. She has to consult a doctor at Care Hospital in Visakhapatnam. She has been suffering from poor health for some days. We took Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger and reached the City of Destiny by 9:30. Thence we hired an auto rickshaw and reached Care Hospital by 10:30. We consulted at reception counter and knew that the particular specialist was absent today. We took an auto rickshaw and moved to bus station. There I scanned the pages of a few previous copies of the Telugu weekly Swati at a bookshop to find a modelling ad of Lahari but I could not. I asked him for the latest copy of the English fortnightly Femina to see her modelling ad. He said that it had not arrived yet. We took an ordinary bus by 11:00 and reached home by 2:30. Had my lunch. Rested on bed for some time. Took a bath by 5:30. Had my supper by 6:30. We sat for our casual evening talk. My brother Sambha asked me to accompany them on their religious tour to Rameswaram to start soon. I would be a travel associate to them. Went to sleep by 9:30 in our front yard.
6 October (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Today I spent most of my time at home. Morning spent with my uncle Srinu and evening talking with my folks at home. Afternoon we received our (of our house) bimonthly (two-month) electricity bill. It showed 502 rupees. My folks became tense over it. Earlier it never crossed 300 rupees. I played our tape recorder very much recently. People are sleeping inside because there are mosquitoes outside. It becomes necessary to keep ceiling fans on because it is sultry inside. My mother is upset at the attitude of my sister-in-law Kranti towards power consumption. Apart from this, three months ago the state government hiked domestic electricity charges. My father has to bear everyday expenditure of our family depending on his monthly salary from sugar factory. He recently took out a loan from a bank on the security of his monthly salary. He did it to buy a piece of agricultural land in our village. His monthly salary became thin because of this bank loan. My brother Srinivas does not send money to home because his salary is not big. He spends money carelessly like me. My brother Sambha has to repay the loan he took out from a bank to start his tent house business. So, he can’t contribute to our household expenditure from the little income he gets from that venture. My father is thus burdened with family responsibilities. In these conditions, I too have to depend on him for my casual expenses. I should go abroad soon. Went to sleep by 9:30 in the open in our front yard.
7 October (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the newspapers. Went to post office to check if I got any mail. Then went to Adduroad and called up my friend Lahari. She said that she has been suffering from fever for the last one week. She is not going to her daily Yoga and dance classes due to it. She did not go to Tirupati as scheduled earlier. I felt hurt to know that she is still suffering from fever. May God bless her with a quick relief. My happiness lies in her bliss. This morning I received a letter from my B.A. classmate Nookeswari. She is presently pursuing her M.A. English literature course at a post graduation center in Kakinada. She asked me a question and wrote to respond to it at the earliest. It is related to her distress due to the failure of her friendship with her close female friend recently. I wrote a reply immediately and posted it by 11:30. She is an intelligent student. It is my pleasure to respond to her problem-focused letter. Evening, U V Krishnam Raju, presently a minister in the government of India, came to Adduroad as part of his party campaign to raise awareness in people about the water problem in this state. Went to sleep by 9:30.
8 October (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:30. My brother Sambha, my sister-in-law Kranti and I left for Narsipatnam Road railway station by 7:00 in an auto rickshaw. My uncles Ramu and Srinu saw us off at the station. We reached Vijayawada Junction by 2:15. Thence we hired an auto rickshaw and left for the house of my friend Vijaya Krishna. We found it a little difficult to locate their house in Vasavya Nagar. We put our luggage in their house with the permission of their housemaid and then moved to Canal Road in an auto rickshaw. We found Vijaya Krishna very busy in the construction work of a small hotel near the temple of Lord Ganesh there. He wants to start it by coming Vijaya Dasami. We met Puspa Kumar, his elder brother, and then left for the temple of Goddess Kanaka Durga situated on the nearby Indrakeeladri Hill. We spent in the premises of this temple from 4:00 to 5:30. Then we came down and met Vijaya Krishna. We had my brother and sister-in-law dine at the nearby Sita Ramanjaneya Hotel and took them back to their home to allow them to sleep. We withdrew ourselves from our plan to go to Rameswaram minding the difficulties to be faced on our long journeys by trains as envisaged by a private bus travel agent there. My friend Vijaya Krishna showered much affection upon me. He offered me four glasses of different fruit juices at a stall. I spent with him at hotel point for the night. Slipped into sleep around 1:00.
9 October (Wednesday)
Woke up by 4:00 at the hotel (Hotel Sri Satya Harischandra) point. Took leave of my friend Vijaya Krishna and reached their home by 4:30 in an auto rickshaw. Three of us got ready soon, took leave of Puspavati Devi, the younger paternal grandmother of Vijaya Krishna, and left for Vijayawada railway station. Our visit to the house of Vijaya Krishna would have been more enjoyable if Lahari and her parents were also there. They are in Hyderabad now. May God direct them kindly. We got into Ratnachal Express by 5:00. It started off by 6:05. I reached Annavaram railway station by 10:30. My brother and sister-in-law got off it at Samalkot Junction and went to Gollalagunta to see my maternal grandmother. I came to NH-5 (National Highway No. 5) passing through Annavaram and took a Vizianagaram bound luxury bus. Reached home by 12:30. It was drizzling. Freshened up myself, had my lunch and resorted to bed to rest for some time. I became weak due to the little journey and the sleepless night that preceded. My body has been taking in tons of food items for many years and yet becoming weak within a day. Spent rest of the day at home casually. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 9:30 in the open in our front yard.
10 October (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies, watched television for some time and then went to post office to post the letter (which I wrote last night) to my friend Vijaya Krishna in Vijayawada. He took care of my brother, sister-in-law and me well during our recent visit to their city and house. I wrote this letter to acknowledge their hospitality to us in this regard. Collected my subscription copy of India Today from post office and filled in the 8th (the last) entry form of its “Making Sense of India Contest”. By today I completed participating in all the eight weekly contests it conducted so far. I participated in this contest in the hope that my sweetheart Lahari would win a grand prize in it. My target is an “Altura” or “Wagon-R” car they put on offer. She looks more beautiful when driving a car. She daily prays to gods and goddesses in her abode. She is more religious than me. She is presently in the need of a car. I would be very happy if she wins a car in this contest. Oh Krishna! Please bless her with a car. Oh Lord Vinayaka! Please bless her with a car. Oh Goddess Lakshmi! Please bless her with a car. Went to sleep by 9:30.
11 October (Friday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies. Saw the ad of a new Telugu film in which Lahari is going to play the role of a heroine. The title of this film is “Emaindho Eevela”. The producer, director and hero are all new faces. Recently she suffered from fever. I think by now she would have recovered from it. May God bless her. She is one of very beautiful girls in India. It is my luck to get her as my friend. I may marry her if God approves it and destiny favours. This morning I saw a suitable job vacancy for me in The Hindu. It is a software company in Chennai. I prepared an application for the position of Customer Support Officer in it. Went to post office and posted that airmail envelope. Came back to home and put on the audio cassette of my interview with Lahari on tape recorder for my uncle Ramu to listen. He liked her words a lot. I too enjoyed listening to her sweet voice again. Spent rest of my time watching television at home, talking with my friends in Adduroad and sensing passage of time. Today it was very cool due to cyclonic effect. Went to sleep by 9:30.
12 October (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:30. Took a bath, dressed up myself and scanned the two dailies. Went to our village Panchayat office by 8:00 and paid our electricity bill. Went to Adduroad and opened the tent house by 9:30. This morning my brother Sambha and my uncle Narasimha Murthy went to our mango garden at hills. So, I took the charge of the tent house. Came back to home by 1:30 and had my lunch. Watched television for some time. Again went to tent house and spent there till 3:30. Watched television for some time at a shop there. Even today it was cool due to depression over the Bay of Bengal. I like this weather a lot. Thanks to my Lord Gopal for blessing me with rainy weather. Evening my friend Krishna Varma called me up from Visakhapatnam. I told him to buy the latest copy of English fortnightly Femina and collect the modelling ad of Lahari done for a silk sari store in Hyderabad. Recently a pack of stray dogs in our village bit our pet dog. It was wounded. It is suffering from ill health. It could not foresee the danger from its enemies in this village. May God bless it. My wait for a call from the automotive company in Muscat is on. Went to sleep by 9:30.
13 October (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Called up Lahari in Hyderabad by 6:45. She did not get out of bed by then. Her mother told me to call up after 9:00. I called her up by 9:15. During this talk, she said that her parents are planning to get her married soon. She added that she is also interested to marry soon. I felt hurt by this news. I desired to marry her. I admired her a lot. She cannot understand the pain I am undergoing due to her decision in this regard. For this, I started writing a short account today. I would soon record it into an audio cassette and send it to her. I would reach this cassette to her before distancing myself from her forever. The name of my Lord Gopal follows, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Went to sleep by 9:30.
14 October (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. By 11:30 finished writing my farewell message to my friend Lahari. I planned to end this script in 40 pages of a short notebook. It carries my innate notions of admiration and suffering because of getting away from her. It came well. I felt happy for being able to put my heart into that script. Thanks to my Mother Saraswati, my director Lord Gopal and Lord Ganesh for their cooperation in this work. This script and its audio recording by me are going to be valuable contents of records of my life. Afternoon started to village Lakshmipuram along with my uncle Srinu. Now I am feeling very bored to spend at home without doing anything worthwhile. In fact I am waiting for a call from Saud Bahwan Group in Muscat but this is really a long wait. May God make it fruitful. We reached our destination by 2:00 taking an auto rickshaw from Adduroad. Evening we spent strolling through the coconut garden there. I enjoyed it a lot. It was drizzling continuously. I like this game of nature. Seashore is very near to their hut. One can hear its sweet call from there. The elements of cosmos have no end. The beauty of sea has no expiry date. Night talked with them for some time. Went to sleep by 9:30.
15 October (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:00. My uncle Baasi took me to a nearby big well and told me to bathe. Brushed my teeth with a margosa twig and Had a bath drawing cold water from well. I enjoyed my bath in the open amid the support of caring earth, the touches of cool air and the light of quiet sky. Had a cup of tea and left for the nearby seashore. Coquettish clouds beckoned me from the horizon. Possessive sea told me to stay back and play in her lap. I remained silent because I can neither fly nor swim. We strolled along the sandy beach hearing the whisper of tides. Crabs were playing on wet sand often staring at us. We saw a small snake observing us. It must be a creature of earth. It was confused to go either way in our presence. We sat on the sand for half an hour watching the game of cyclonic climate with the shy sea. We returned home by 12:30 in an auto rickshaw. Afternoon watched television for two hours. It is Vijaya Dasami today. Many are celebrating it devotedly. I am not celebrating any festival. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00.
16 October (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Morning talked with my friend Krishna Varma at our home. Afternoon watched television. The name of Lord Krishna follows, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Went to sleep by 9:30 in the open in our front yard.
17 October (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies but could not find any suitable job vacancy for me. Went to post office by 8:30 to collect my subscription copy of India Today. It had not arrived yet. Started to the house of my uncle Rama Raju at Raja Venkata Nagaram by 10:30. Reached there by 11:15. Spent there till 4:30. Rested on bed for two hours. Listened to Sri Lanka Radio for one hour from 2:00. My aunt Raja Kumari prepared delicious snacks for me. I enjoyed eating them. Came back to home by 5:00. My appeal to Lord Gopal follows, “I am in a very depressive mood now. The girl whom I admired said that she is on her way of marrying somebody soon. All the dreams I have centered on her are thus going to be shattered. I am anxiously waiting for the call from Saud Bahwan Group in Muscat. It is getting delayed on and on. I have to stabilise myself in my life at the earliest. At this juncture of disturbing circumstances around me, I request you to speed up the occurrence of positive things in my life. I am your follower. It is your responsibility to help your folks. Listen to me”. Went to sleep by 9:30 in the open in our front yard.
18 October (Friday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies. Went to post office and collected my subscription copy of India Today. Started to our mango grove by 8:30 on my bicycle. I found my paternal grandfather Thammi Raju walking in the middle of the way. Got down from my bicycle and walked along with him up to our common destination. On the way, he told me about his childhood and its inevitable responsibilities towards bringing up his younger brothers and sisters. Now he is about 86. He is well except some common old age disorders. May God bless him a long and happy life. We reached there by 9:15. He went on his way to supervise the work of applying fertilizers to his cashew trees. I spent at the house of my uncle Narayana Murthy from 9:30 to 3:00. Read India Today for some time and then rested on a mat for two hours. Listened to Visakhapatnam Radio for some time, had my lunch and then listened to Sri Lanka Radio for some time. My aunt Kumari offered me Chimmili (made with jaggery and sesame). I liked it very much. From 3:00 to 4:00 strolled through our mango grove. I found our guava tree empty. Somebody must have cleared it off. I felt angry at those creatures. Returned home by 5:30 after meeting my paternal grandmother at their rented portion on the way. Night talked with my folks for some time. Went to sleep by 9:30 in the open in our front yard.
19 October (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day stayed at home. Spent much of my time watching television. I am feeling very bored to spend at home waiting for a call from the company in Muscat. Recently my parents started pestering me to marry a girl of their choice. If I get a well-paid job, the offers of dowry for me increase. I don’t like these commercial relations in the modern society. I believe in my strength and my ability to achieve something. I wanted to marry Lahari. The traditions of our respective families may not approve this relationship. Even that girl does not seem to be strong in her admiration for me. I would defy convention if it blocks my path of practices based on rationality and humanity. That girl seems to be fickle to believe in. She recently revealed me that she is ready to marry any person chosen by her parents. Her commitment to marriage should be reliable to keep my admiration for her unbroken. My life without her seems to be a broken piece but it is the sketch of my destiny. Lord Krishna directs it. Went to sleep by 9:30.
20 October (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent most of my time within home. Presently my financial position is weak. So, staying at home is good. I like to marry in 2006, after four years from now. In the meantime, I have to get a good job and stabilize my financial life. I admired Lahari like a goddess. I desired to bring her into my life. I felt related to her for all these days. She belongs to Brahmin community. Though I am a Kshatriya by birth, I led a Brahminical life. I would continue it even in my future. May Lord Krishna bless me. I am at His mercy. For the last four months, I have been spending idly at home. I am bored with passing time like this. The name of Lord Gopal follows, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Went to sleep by 10:30 in the open.
21 October (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. Morning scanned the two dailies. Afternoon started to our mango grove along with my friend Shiva on bicycles. It is about six kilometers from our village to the grove. My friend became very tired (he is almost double my weight) half the way to ride his bicycle. We rode our bicycles in the sun. We reached the house of my uncle by 1:15. We set off by 1:45 for collecting custard apples from the nearby areas. We walked through bushes and trees on the hill near our mango garden. We did not find custard apple trees on this hill. I collected five custard apples from the trees in our old mango grove. Then we walked to our two guava trees. Buffalo keepers from our nearby villages had already plucked off guavas from a tree. We plucked about 25 guavas from the other tree and came back to the house of my uncle by 2:00. My aunt Kumari prepared tea for us and also offered a few custard apple fruit. I like this fruit a lot. After listening to radio for some time, we started from their house to collect custard apples searching through the big mango grove of Tangedu kshatriyas. We collected magosa twigs from a tree on the way. My father and my brother Sambha use them for brushing their teeth. It was very cool. We enjoyed it a lot. We took our bicycles and returned home by 5:00. On the way, I talked with one of my high school friends. He is presently working in the Indian Army. He told me about the corruption of military officers and the honesty of soldiers. Went to sleep by 9:30.
22 October (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Today it was very cloudy. It was like heaven for me. Morning scanned the two dailies. Rested on bed for some time. Went to Adduroad by 10:30 and sat at the hotel of my friend for some time. Bought a broom and a battery cell (for a wall clock) for my sister-in-law Kranti. Came back to home by 11:00. By then my aunt Lakshmi of Molleru Mallavaram came along with my nephew Sujan. He recently went to the house of his maternal grandparents on a holiday trip. He has been absent to his school for the last 15 days. He mimics the heroes in the Telugu films. He delivers powerful dialogues from the latest Telugu films. He watches television interestingly. May God bless him. Now he cannot understand the value of education. The current trends of electronic media are badly influencing the minds of children. Elders keep watching television in their homes. Thus their kids are also getting addicted to that bad habit. Afternoon listened to Telugu cine songs on Sri Lanka Radio. Also recorded some of them into an audio cassette. Our Philips tape recorder has this facility on it. I think it is the only way left to record classic songs from old Telugu films. The songs in the present Telugu films are not so absorbing as the old ones. Evening untied our buffalo from the post in our cattle shed and allowed it to graze in the open field in front of our house. Then went to the house of my uncle Srinu and spent there for some time. My aunt Lakshmi offered me roast peanuts. Went to sleep by 9:30.
23 October (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Took a bath by 6:30, scanned the two dailies and then went to post office to check if I got any mail. Took my subscription copy of India Today. In today’s “Opportunities” section of The Hindu, I did not find any suitable job vacancy for me. Read India Today for some time. This morning, Lakshmi, the mother of my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani, went to meet palmist Indira in our village. She became famous these days. Palmistry is considered a science for long. I had no much belief in it once but now I have developed a bit of attraction for it. Her recent words about my past and future based on palmistry made me believe in it. My aunt Lakshmi also said that she told everything perfectly about her past and future. Today it was rainy. I enjoyed it. My lovely winter recently stepped in. I greatly enjoy cold weather in this season. Even today the keeper of our buffalo did not turn up. I untied it from the post to allow it to graze in the open field in front of our house. Afternoon listened to Telugu cine songs on Sri Lanka Radio and also recorded two songs from it. These days I am sleeping in the front yard of our house (in the open) to enjoy the spell of cool night. Went to sleep by 9:30.
24 October (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:30. Took a bath, dressed up myself and then scanned the two dailies. Went to Adduroad to spend some time talking with my friend at the hotel but he was not there. So, I came back. These days I am not finding it interesting to watch television. I don’t like many of the present Telugu films and their publicity ads on television. It is becoming difficult for me to spend my time at home. By 11:00 went to the house of my aunt Subhadra to spend my time watching their color television for some time. There was power cut. Spent there for some time talking with her when she was attending her chores. Came back to my home and rested on bed for two hours. Dreams creep into my sleep even during daytime. A train journey dream frightened me this afternoon. Got up by 11:30. Listened to Visakha FM for some time. Had my lunch by 12:30. Took out today’s copy of Eenadu and started reading it devotedly for killing my time. Evening took out the audio cassettes from my suitcase, which was previously kept on a shelf in our house. By today I owe my father an amount of 55,050 rupees. He spent this much money for me from the beginning of my M.A. English course. I want to repay it to him at the earliest. Night prepared a little to go to Visakhapatnam tomorrow morning. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on our tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00.
25 October (Friday)
Woke up by 4:30. Got ready soon and left for Narsipatnam Road railway station by 6:15 along with my cousin Hari (of village Tank Bead). We took Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger by 7:00. We reached Visakhapatnam Junction by 9:00. We started walking to the rented abode of my artist friend Veeranjaneyulu situated near Siri Puram. We preferred walking to his abode for pleasure sake. We walked for 90 minutes via cinemas Sangam and Sarat, R.T.C. Complex, Asil Metta and the old C.B.I. My friend Veeru is staying in S-8 portion in the third floor of Pusapati Apartments in the vicinity of Samata and Mamata Hostels of Andhra University. He received us affectionately. I liked his recent paintings a lot. By 7:00 started to city on the Hero Honda bike of one of his friends. We bought one pair of black shoes for 230 rupees and a pair of socks for 25 rupees at a shoe store for me. Then we bought a piece of cloth for trousers and a Lux vest (also called “banian” in our part of India) at a Vimal showroom for 200 rupees for me. We returned to the abode of Veeru by 8:00. I started recording reading out my previously written farewell message for Lahari by 11:30 using the Walkman of Veeranjaneyulu. The background music was of Karaikudi Vaidyanathan playing on a tape recorder arranged by me. I chose this time of the night to find everybody around asleep and the setting quiet. The atmosphere in this room turned sultry because I closed all the inlets of air into the room and turned off the ceiling fan. I did the recording from 11:30 to 2:00. I did not sleep.
26 October (Saturday)
To check whether the recording came well or not, listened to it playing on the Walkman from 2:30 to 4:00. It came well. I felt happy. I was compelled to read out the script at a very low voice to avoid it being heard by the ones sleeping on the other side of the closed door. Recording it in a noiseless setting was my goal. I could achieve it a bit. This audio cassette of recording is to send to Lahari. It is my farewell message to her. This 45-minute recording carries my sad thoughts for being distanced myself from her. A sincere admirer (a boy or a girl) cannot bear the news, thought or truth of his or her beloved getting married with somebody else despite knowing the fact that he or she cannot or should not marry her or him due to the forces of destiny, personal choices or circumstantial preferences. This piece of recording has such sensitive feelings and emotions of a dejected admirer. Afternoon mixed and applied a few acrylic and oil paints arbitrarily on the two sheets of the audio cassette. I entitled this recording “Sapthapadhi” (a classic Telugu feature film). My cousin Hari and I took leave of Veeru and his friends by 3:45 and left for railway station in an auto rickshaw paid by Veeru. We took Visakhapatnam-Rajahmundry passenger by 5:45 and reached NRPM station by 8:15. We reached home by 8:45 on my bicycle. Freshened up myself taking a bath. I did not like the curry and buttermilk served by my mother and so ate very little of it. I behaved very rudely throwing away the available items of my supper to show my anger. I scolded my mother badly. Went to sleep by 11:00 after the re-recording of the aforesaid cassette into another cassette on our tape recorder.
27 October (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Even today it was very cool. It has been raining for the last four days due to cyclone. Morning scanned the two dailies. By 9:00 opened the tent house in Adduroad and sat there for some time. Meanwhile a resident monkey of Adduroad came to our tent house. I went to him and offered five Britannia Tiger biscuits. He was very hungry and so ate the biscuits fast. He did not find them interesting after finishing up the fourth one. He kept his head down when eating the fifth one. I thought he was trying to sleep. Last night he would not have slept well. I liked him much because he ate the biscuits offered by me affectionately. If a biscuit fell on earth, he cleaned it with his palms. Man evolved from monkey according to the theory of evolution by Charles Darwin. I recollected this point when offering him the biscuits. My brother Sambha came to the tent house. I went back to home. Rested on bed for two hours. Meanwhile my aunt Raja Kumari came from Raja Venkata Nagaram. Then I moved to the cot in the front yard of our house and talked with her for some time. Had my lunch by 1:30. Watched the Telugu feature film “Sruthi Layalu” on television for some time. Meanwhile the scheduled power cut occurred. Evening it turned cool. Evening and night listened to Telugu cine songs on our tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 10:30 in the open.
28 October (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. Finished scanning the two dailies by 7:30. Had my breakfast of five idlies by 8:30. Went to Adduroad by 9:00 and opened the tent house of my brother. Spent there for three hours. Returned home by 12:00 and had my lunch. Went back to the tent house and sat there for one hour. Came back to home by 1:30 and rested on bed for two hours. Went back to Adduroad by 3:45 and spent talking with my friend at the small hotel. It went on for two hours. Came back to home by 5:30. Took a bath by 6:30. Listened to Telugu cine songs on Visakha FM from 6:40 to 10:30. The name of Lord Gopal follows, Rama Krishna Govinda Narayana. Rama Krishna Govinda Narayana. Rama Krishna Govinda Narayana. Rama Krishna Govinda Narayana. Rama Krishna Govinda Narayana. Rama Krishna Govinda Narayana. Rama Krishna Govinda Narayana. Rama Krishna Govinda Narayana. Rama Krishna Govinda Narayana. Night it was cold. Went to sleep by 10:45.
29 October (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day stayed at home. Spent most of the time lying down myself on bed. Today it was sunny again after the cloudy and dull environment for four days. Night a serious domestic dispute took place in our family. My father became angry with my sister-in-law Kranti. This chaos was centred on a triviality. My brother Sambha is accustomed to bathe with hot water. My sister-in-law (his wife) did not arrange it for him this evening. It led to this fuss. My younger sister-in-law Kranti is not yet accustomed to the discipline expected from her by my folks. It often leads to conflicts between my mother and her. Consequently they started cooking separately in our house very recently. Our house has two portions, each containing three rooms in a row. Every day my mother and my sister-in-law have to face each other at some place in the house. When two persons don’t like each other internally, even their external behavior reflects their inner egos. They cannot avoid being averse to each other. Night did not listen to Telugu cine songs on our tape recorder. Went to sleep by 9:30.
30 October (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Morning scanned the two dailies. Today I saw a suitable job vacancy for me in the “Opportunities” section of The Hindu. I applied for the position of Graduate Trainee. I am not really much interested in this job. Went to post office by 9:30 and collected my subscription copy of India Today. Came back to home and then went to the house of my uncle Srinu. He was engaged in making up a fence in front of his house to keep out animals. I wanted to go along with him (he drives the lorry owned by his brother-in-law living in this village itself) to Tuni by the lorry. Had my lunch and got ready for it. Meanwhile my brother Sambha said that he wants to go to Tuni on an important work. I withdrew myself from this pleasure trip to Tuni. I sat at the tent house for one hour and then returned home to rest for one hour. This afternoon I permitted my nephew Sujan to see the recently released Telugu film “Chennakesava Reddy” in cinema Venkatapathi Raju Mahal at Adduroad along with my friend. Afternoon went to Adduroad and spent talking with my friend at the hotel for some time. Then moved to King Tailors and collected my stitched black trousers. The stitching is good. After returning home in the evening, I noticed some people gathering around the dilapidated well in the vicinity of our house. A terrified piglet fell in it. We tried to pull him out for about two hours. He did not enter the basket we put in. The water is putrid. One cannot get into it. He was left to his fate in it. Went to sleep by 11:30.
31 October (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:30. Morning thoroughly cleaned my bicycle drawing water from our well. Then scanned the two dailies, Had a bath and felt relieved. My bicycle, which was bought from one of my hostel mates in the University of Hyderabad, was not cleaned completely till today. I engaged myself in this work from 6:00 to 8:00. I like my bicycle a lot. Took a worn-out toothbrush and thoroughly brushed off the dirt from the edges of both the tyres applying a detergent. I felt very happy to see my bicycle after getting it bathed. It wore a neat look. By 10:30 moved to Adduroad along with my uncle Srinu. He offered me a plate of plain dosa at a hotel. We came back to our house by 11:30. Both of us went to their house. I spent there for two hours. After my lunch, once again I went to their house. Spent there for a long time. Evening both of us went on a short walk to see our relatives and familiar ones in this village. We returned home by 7:00. Today I saw the dead body of the piglet that fell in the dilapidated well in the vicinity of our house yesterday evening. Despite our efforts to pull him out last night, he could not be saved. I felt very disturbed thinking about my inability to save him. He must have died sometime during the midnight being unable to swim in the smelly water any more. Life is very light. Nobody knows when its light flies into the outer darkness. Went to sleep by 10:30.
1 November (Friday)
Woke up by 5:00. Today it is the Formation Day of Andhra Pradesh. I wanted to stop subscribing to Telugu daily Eenadu from today, but, after a second thought, decided to continue it. I did not find the need of two newspapers for me including English daily The Hindu. Morning went to the house of my uncle Srinu. Even my cousin Hari came along with me. Today it was very cloudy and cool. It must be the entry signal of gentle winter. God’s gift on earth is soothing winds of winter. Day and night, breezes take a dreamer of active senses into a fantastic world of blissful feelings. Walking alone in an avenue in the early morning or sitting with one’s beloved by seashore at dusk makes winter look divine. Enjoying these notions and imaginations, walked along with my affectionate uncle in the lanes of our village. I did not see much of our village earlier. My uncle took me to the heart of Kshatriya families in this village. He is making his living driving a lorry. He is an optimistic man. He takes life as a challenge. One should be like a warrior to live joyfully chasing the hardships around one. These days I am spending much of my time in his delightful company. Night listened to Telugu cine songs till 11:00 on Visakha FM. Went to sleep by 11:15.
2 November (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:30. Drew water from our well and filled the containers in our house. Then took a bath with cold water and put on a set of fresh clothes. Scanned the two dailies for 15 minutes. Then went to the house of my uncle Srinu. Spent rest of the day in his company. Morning spent reading the Telugu newspaper for some time at their home. Came back to home by 10:30 and rested on bed for two hours. I had a dream in this nap. Got up by 1:30 and had my lunch. Then went to the house of my uncle Srinu along with him. From there we moved to the houses of our relatives in this village. We watched television from 2:00 to 3:00 at the house of my aunt Subhadra. Returned from there and went into the nearby cashew and mango groves searching for margosa twigs to brush teeth. We collected a few and returned home by 5:30. This morning my parents went to Visakhapatnam to consult a doctor about the poor health of my mother. She is suffering from a kind of disorder in her stomach. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on Visakha FM and also recorded some of them into an audio cassette. Listening to Telugu cine songs became a major event in my life these days. Went to sleep by 11:00 being bitten by the winds of winter.
3 November (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Morning scanned the two dailies. By 10:00 left for our mango garden at hills on bicycle. My brother Sambha was supervising a work in this garden. I took homemade lunch for him. Returned home by 1:00. Afternoon spent at the tent house in Adduroad talking with my friends. Evening my brother Srinivas called us up from Ambala Cantonment. He said that my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani is feeling motherly pain to spend without her elder son Sujan. I told him that Sujan is doing well here. Night listened to songs on our tape recorder for some time. The name of Lord Krishna follows, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Went to sleep by 9:30.
4 November (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. Today it is Deepavali. Scanned the two dailies. Took a bath and put on the same set of trousers and shirt which I have been wearing for the last three days. Morning went to the house of my uncle Srinu and spent there for a few minutes. Then came back to home and took my cousin Hari and my nephew Sujan to Adduroad on bicycle. My brother Sambha gave ten rupees to Sujan. My father gave us 20 rupees for buying firecrackers. Hari added his share of ten rupees to it. Thus the total amount of money being spent for this festival-centric domestic consumption of firecrackers is 40 rupees only. I did not allocate even a single rupee for this purpose. Three of us bought a few items and returned home. From 11:00 to 4:00 Hari and I were engaged in making the sweet Bengal gram rounds, which would be used in cooking Boorelu (a festive dish of Hindus). We carried out this work to help my mother. She fasted till the evening. She eats only after performing the auspicious “Vara Lakshmi Pooja”. It was over around 6:30. Night we arranged small lamps in and around our house. We burst crackers from 7:00 to 8:00. May Lord Gopal bless me with a happy life. I am in the need of a life partner. Let me get one soon. Went to sleep by 9:30.
5 November (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Took a bath and put on a fresh set of clothes by 7:00. Then moved to the house of my uncle Srinu. Spent there for one hour. Then both of us went to Lorry Supply Office in Adduroad. He had a work there. We spent there for one hour. Then came back to home and rested on bed for two hours. Got up and put on our tape recorder. Listened to my favourite Telugu cine songs on it for two hours. Had my lunch by 1:30. By 2:00 my friend Shiva and I started to Adduroad on bicycles. We saw the recently released Telugu film “Laahiri Laahiri Laahirilo” in cinema Venkatapathi Raju Mahal from 2:30 to 5:15. I enjoyed it a lot. He bought a ticket for me also for ten rupees. He got snacks and a packet of water also for us. We came to the hotel of my friend after this show. There we spent talking among ourselves about the present trend of giving titles to Telugu films. It went on for one hour. Had my supper by 7:00. Night listened to cine songs on tape recorder and radio. Went to sleep by 9:30.
6 November (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies. In today’s “Opportunities” section of The Hindu, I found a suitable job vacancy for me. Put my CV and photocopies of my educational certificates in an envelope and went to post office to send it to Chennai. Came back to home and left for Adduroad to order the prints of my passport size color photos at Gopala Krishna Photo Studio. Started to Payakaraopeta by 10:00 by bus. Went to Satyam Computers in Balaji Complex area near Raja Junior College to get my latest résumé typed up and printed. I got some details included in it. This job went on for two hours. I got five sets of my résumé for 60 rupees on inkjet printer. I felt happy at the elegant look of my résumé. Came back to home by 2:30 by bus and had my lunch. By then it turned cloudy and cool. Went to the house of my uncle Srinu and rested there on a cot for some time. From 4:00 to 5:30 we were engaged in planting four coconut seedlings digging pits in the front yard of their house. It was a physical exercise for me to keep my body active. I enjoyed that work very much. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on Visakha FM. Went to sleep by 10:30.
7 November (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:30. Morning scanned the two dailies. By 8:30 went to post office to collect my subscription copy of India Today. It did not arrive. Returned home and then went to Adduroad to spend some time at the tent house reading newspaper. Then went to a general store and bought sesame and jaggery. Came back to home and handed these items to my mother. She prepared Chimmili pounding dry sesame and jaggery with a heavy wooden stick in a wooden domestic appliance. On the eve of Naagula Chavithi, my mother prepares this sweet for us. I like it very much. She gave me my share of 12 items of it. I kept them in a plastic container for my consumption later. By 10:30 my uncle Narayana Murthy came from the mango grove at hills on his bicycle. I too went along with him on my bicycle to meet the cashew merchant Venkata Rao in our nearby village Koruprolu. Came back to home and rested for some time. Had my lunch by 1:00. Then went to Adduroad and spent talking with my friend at the hotel for two hours. Came back to home by 3:00. Then started touring our village along with my uncle Srinu. We paid a visit to a few familiar Kshatriya families. Came back to home by 6:00. Then went to Adduroad and collected my passport size color photos from Gopala Krishna Photo Studio. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on our tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 9:30.
8 November (Friday)
Woke up by 5:00. Today it is Naagula Chavithi, the festival of Hindus devoted to the worship of serpents. All devotees have to fast and go to anthills to pour sacred cow milk into those holes. My brother Sambha, my sister-in-law Kranti, my parents, my nephew Sujan and I went to our mango grove at hills to observe this ceremony. We had our lunch (we took it from our home) sitting under the big peepal tree in our mango garden. My folks stayed back. I returned home by 10:45. Talked with my friend Lahari in Hyderabad over telephone from 12:00 to 12:15. The main element of this talk was the expression of my idea to marry her and her soft rejection to it. She said that she would marry anybody chosen by her mother. She stressed that her mother is all for her. I felt deeply hurt to hear those words from her. Went to Elamanchili by 2:30 in an auto rickshaw. Booked the audio cassette titled “Sapthapadhi” to Lahari’s address in Hyderabad at the ANL-APSRTC courier service point. It carries my farewell message to her. Bought a copy of Telugu weekly Andhra Bhoomi on the inside back cover of which Lahari’s photo was printed. By 5:15 called up the folks at the office in Muscat to talk about my job. Today it is a public holiday to them. Today I spent moodily after talking with Lahari over telephone. May God bless me. Went to sleep by 9:30.
9 November (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:30. Took a bath, put on a fresh set of clothes and drank two glasses of water with empty stomach. I started this habit recently because it is good for health. Scanned the two dailies by 8:45. Went to post office by 9:00 and collected my subscription copy of India Today. Even in today’s issue, I could not find the name of Lahari in the list of winners of its second weekly contest. Came back to home and rested on bed. Meanwhile my uncle Srinu came and took me to his thatched hut. We spent talking when I laid my body flat on a cot under the small mango tree in front of their house. Had my lunch by 12:30. My cousin Narendra Varma spent with me till 2:30. He came to his home on leave from his residential school. Left for Elamanchili by 3:45. Spent talking with my friend Appa Rao at his pan shop near bus station till 5:00. Called up the folks at the office in Muscat by 5:15 to enquire about the dispatch of letters of intimation for interview to the shortlisted candidates. They said that that process is not yet finalized. Returned home by 7:30 by bus. Took a bath with hot water. Had my supper by 8:15. Listened to the songs of the Telugu films “Neeraajanam” and “Dheva Raagam” on our tape recorder. Went to sleep by 10:00.
10 November (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent most of the time with my uncle Srinu. Today it was cool and drizzly. The name of Lord Krishna follows, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Went to sleep by 10:00.
11 November (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. This morning diarrhoea attacked me. Scanned the two dailies. Went to Adduroad by 8:00 and bought tablets at a medical store to get rid of this disorder. Today it was very cloudy and cool. I enjoyed it. By 10:30 went to the tent house in Adduroad. My brother’s tent house is being moved into a room in Sai Datta Complex from the present place by road. Many roadside constructions are getting knocked down as part of the highway expansion program started recently by the central government. From 11:30 to 1:00 the shifting of all the items from the tent house took place. Then I returned home and rested on bed for some time. Three days ago our buffalo delivered a male calf. So, we have cheese (prepared with buffalo milk, jaggery and black pepper) at home. I like it very much. I could sleep for two hours due to cool atmosphere around. From 4:00 to 4:45, spent watching our buffalo grazing in the open field in front of our house. Meanwhile a goat delivered in the vicinity. From 5:00 to 5:45, I taught a few English grammar points to my friends at the government high school in our village. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on radio and tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 11:00.
12 November (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies. Went to Adduroad by 8:30 and had my breakfast at the hotel of my friend. Spent there for one hour talking with my friend. Came back to home by 10:30 and went to the house of my uncle Srinu. They laid a mat for me. I rested on it for two hours. My uncle insisted on my having my lunch there but I avoided it. Had my lunch at home by 1:15. From 1:30 to 3:00 listened to Telugu cine songs on Visakha FM. From 3:15 to 4:30 supervised our buffalo grazing in the open field in front of our house. From 5:00 to 6:00 taught a few English grammar points to my friends Appala Raju, Ganga Raju and Ramesh. Took a bath by 6:30. Had my supper by 7:15. From then onwards kept listening to radio. From 9:00 to 10:30 listened to my interview with Lahari. The title of this audio cassette is “Aaraadhana”. I decided to end my friendship with her after she told me that her mother is all for her and that she likes to marry somebody chosen by her. If I get further deeper in my admiration for her, it would become very difficult for me to come out of it later. Admiration is a sweet psychological disorder. It is difficult to bid farewell to our dear ones in our heart. Went to sleep by 11:00.
13 November (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Drew water from our well and filled the containers in our house for our domestic consumption. Recently I started doing it regularly for my physical fitness purpose. Daily pulling water from a well strengthens one’s muscles. I have noticed this change in me. In the beginning, I felt very tired after pulling a few pails of water from our well. After doing it for some days, I found it normal. Usually I don’t do much work at home. I should say that I am a lazy fellow. This daily domestic chore gave me a chance to help my folks at home a little. In today’s “Opportunities” section of The Hindu I did not find even a single suitable job vacancy for me. I should say that I could save some money because I need not send an application for any job today. My uncle Rama Krishnam Raju came from Ramuladeva Puram by 12:30. He brought milk kova rounds for me. I like them a lot. Thanks to my affectionate aunt Satyavati for her patience in preparing them and her love in sending them for me. Night this uncle and I saw the Telugu film “Gemini” of Venkatesh in cinema Lakshmipati Raju Mahal at Adduroad in second show. Went to sleep by 1:00.
14 November (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:00. Drew water from our well from 6:00 to 6:30. Took a bath by 6:45, dressed up myself and had my breakfast. Scanned the two dailies. Went to Adduroad and opened the tent house of my brother Sambha. Spent there for one hour. Meanwhile my brother came and relieved me. He has to sit there though this is not a peak season. Today my uncle Srinu was busy in the task of getting electricity connection to his house. He bought the required electrical equipment at a shop in Adduroad. I helped him a little in this work. Rested on bed from 11:00 to 12:00 to compensate yesterday’s sleeplessness. Then had my lunch and went to the house of my uncle Srinu. Spent there for two hours. Then came back to home and supervised our buffalo grazing in the open field in front of our house. Our cattle keeper did not turn up today. From 4:00 to 5:00 engaged myself in an interactive communication session of English with the little son of Narasimha Murthy Raju, the tent house business partner of my brother Sambha. The name of this boy is Sampath. He is very good at English for his age. This credit partly goes to the Timpany School in Visakhapatnam where he is presently studying. Today’s English tuition class to my friends did not take place because they had no time. Night listened to songs on radio for some time. Went to sleep by 9:30.
15 November (Friday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies. Went to post office by 9:15 to check if I got any mail. There was nothing for me. My mother and my sister-in-law Kranti left for a temple in Darlapudi by 9:30. My uncle Rama Krishnam Raju returned from his short tour to Rambilli. I went to the house of my uncle Srinu by 11:00. Today a local electrician gave electricity connection to their house working hard from 10:00 to 12:30. I helped my uncle a little in this work. By 12:30 my friend Gangaraju and I left for the nearby village Gokulapadu to have lunch at the wedding ceremony of our friend Mangaraju. We were classmates at government degree college in Elamanchili. Even our other B.A. classmates came there. We spent happily talking among ourselves. I wanted to join the food supply team there. So, I served rice to guests for some time. We spent there from 1:00 to 3:00. I found my friend and the bride made for each other. We came back to Adduroad by 3:20 on our bicycles. Evening we could not hold the English tuition class. I have been suffering from cold for the last three days. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on our tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 9:30.
16 November (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies. Rested on bed from 9:00 to 11:00. Then went to the house of my uncle Srinu. Spent there for two hours. Meanwhile my friend Shiva came from Darlapudi and gave me a small party on the occasion of his birthday. These days my age is torturing me regarding the point of my marriage. Marriage seems to be an essential component to fill life with happiness. Every day my couple of eyes are seeing many married couples on roads. They seem to be enjoying their lives. Despite my increasing age, I remained a bachelor. Apart from the financial insecurity of my life, my commitment to some values is keeping me away from getting married early. My age is greatly demanding the familiarity of a girl. Only a wife can fill this vacuum in my solitary life. I am an admirer of exceptional female beauty and innocence. I pray Lord Gopal to bless me with such a beautiful girl. Lahari discarded me being influenced by her personal choices and familial restrictions. She must play her part to convince her dear ones toward this goal. May Lord Gopal create favorable environment to motivate her toward it. Oh God! Please guide me fast. Went to sleep by 9:30.
17 November (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent all the day casually. The name of Lord Gopal follows, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Rama Krishna Govinda Narayana. Went to sleep by 10:30.
18 November (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies, took a bath and dressed up myself by 8:00. For the last one week, I have been drinking one glass of hot milk in the morning and at night. I owe to our buffalo for it. Went to post office by 8:45 and collected our telephone bill. It came 119 rupees this time. While going to post office, I saw a few women crying sitting around the dead body of an old man. I knew that the dead one is above 100 years. I consider it a natural death, which should not motivate his relatives towards extensive mourning. Living beings cannot escape from the net of death. Morning spent at the tent house for some time. Afternoon posted a letter to New Delhi requesting them to send me the prospectus and application form giving the details of Short Service Commissionin in Indian Army. By 2:00 started to the house of my uncle Rama Raju at Raja Venkata Nagaram on bicycle along with my uncle Ramu (of village Bhoopalapatnam) We spent there for two and a half hours. I enjoyed strolling through the coconut farm along with my uncle Ramu while my uncle Rama Raju was supervising the work of coolies in that garden. We returned home by 5:30. Today devotees are observing the worship of Lord Shiva and the related fast. Night listened to melodious Telugu cine songs on Visakha FM for some time. Went to sleep by 11:00.
19 November (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies and took a bath by 8:00. Morning spent at home. Afternoon listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. Went to Adduroad by 3:00 to spend my time talking with my friends. Bought jaggery for two rupees at a general store and had it along with my brother and others sitting at the tent house. From 4:00 to 5:00 spent talking with my friend at the hotel. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on our tape recorder for some time. Today it is full moon (it is called ‘Pournami’ in Telugu) day in Kaartheeka Maasam. It is a holy day for traditional Hindu women and girls. It is religiously an important month for Hindu women. They wake up early in the morning, take bath with cold water and then go to the nearby temples of Lord Shiva to worship Him. Winter tests the patience of these women. I like those Indian women, who devotedly follow these observations of holy days and nights. I want to become a devoted practitioner of these observances after marrying a spiritually motivated girl. This morning my mother and our near and dear ones went to the seashore at our nearby village Revu Polavaram to take their religious baths in seawater. Night bright smiles of moon appeared in the sky. I want such fascinating lass to kiss me but I am badly missing my dreamy age. Went to sleep by 9:30.
20 November (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies. In today’s “Opportunities” section of The Hindu, I saw the ad of Saud Bahwan Group in Muscat for the same categories of job vacancies in response to which I applied previously. Today I prepared an application for the position of an officer in a company at Chennai. Posted it at our post office and came back to home by 9:30. Rested on bed for two hours. Had my lunch by 1:30 and then left for Payakaraopeta by bus. Went to my favorite computer center in the post office lane in Tuni to get my long letter typed up and printed on inkjet printer. It took two hours for typing and printing. I ordered two sets of printouts, each consisting of three pages. One set is to send to the Saud Bahwan Group in Muscat and one set is to be retained by me for my records section. I spent 65 rupees on this work. The main substance of this letter is my rational questions to the HRD manager of this automotive company on why they did not respond to the previous applicants. I demanded my immediate recruitment into their organization as a compensatory measure. I wrote them that necessary legal action would be taken against them if they do not recruit me at the earliest. Heavy delay in recruitment is their offence. Came back to home by 5:30. Night listened to songs from Vividha Bharati radio station for some time. Went to sleep by 10:00.
21 November (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies. Went to post office by 9:00 and posted the airmail envelope to the Sultanate of Oman. I affixed stamps worth 20 rupees on it. Went to the house of my uncle Srinu and spent there from 11:00 to 1:30. Moved to cinema Venkatapati Raju Mahal at Adduroad by 2:10 and saw the Telugu film “Jayam”. It is one of the recent films based on the theme of teenage love. I found it very interesting. A girl of upper caste falls in love with a poor boy of lower caste. Deep love develops between them in course of time in the college where they are studying. The parents of the girl find a rich man to get her married to. Meanwhile they know that their daughter fell in love with a poor boy in her college. So, they stop sending her to college. Her innocent lover enters the episode of difficulties with this turn. The rich one, who is supposed to marry this girl, becomes a villain when he knows that his fiancée is in love with another boy. He turns violent and struggles to separate the two innocent lovers at any cost. This muscular villain beats the thin and weak hero to bloody wounds. The cruelty of villain gives birth to reactive vigor and spirit in the psyche of passive hero. Thereafter the teenage lovers stand together and face the villain with a spirit of fortitude and challenge. Toward the end, they win their love by the blessings of Lord Anjaneya. Realizing the intensity and worth of their love and the evil of villain, the parents of girl also approve their love marriage. Went to sleep by 10:00.
22 November (Friday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies. In today’s The Hindu I saw a suitable job vacancy for me. Prepared an application for the position of Customer Service Executive in an international call center at Chennai. Posted that envelope by 9:00 and then went to Adduroad to open the tent house of my brother. Meanwhile my friend Shiva brought a paper cutting with the photo of Lahari printed on the inside back cover of the recent Telugu weekly Andhra Bhoomi. This photo has a vulgar look. My friend criticized it. I too found it indecent. He told me about another publicity photo of Lahari also printed recently on the front cover of a recent issue of Andhra Bhoomi. This photo looked more vulgar. It made me feel angry toward Lahari. Immediately I wrote a piece of satirical poetry in Telugu with ten rhyming couplets criticizing the efforts of Lahari to become famous in the film industry. Rushed to home, had my lunch and wrote a letter angrily in English to Lahari criticizing her exhibitionist conduct for getting chances to act in films. Went to Tuni by bus to get these two works typed up and printed at a computer center on laser printer. The poetry was printed in color on a photo paper and the letter in black and white. The paper bearing the poetry was laminated. I spent 90 rupees on this work. Returned home by 7:00. Enveloped the letter and the poetry in an elegant cover. Had my supper by 8:00. Listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 9:30.
23 November (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:30. This morning a serious conflict arose between my mother and sister-in-law Kranti on the issue of cleanliness in our front yard. I became very angry over this regular chaos in the house and scolded my mother because it is she that daily begins the conflict. Went to Elamanchili by 9:30. Booked the cover addressed to Lahari at the ANL-APSRTC courier service point. I cut and inserted the front cover of the recent Telugu weekly Andhra Bhoomi on which her vulgar photo appeared. Spent talking with my B.A. classmates Prasad and Appa Rao for more than two hours. Then took a bus and reached home by 1:30. Had my lunch by 2:00 and then began to read the recent copy of Books Today, a bimonthly published by India Today Book Club, which I received today. My aunt Raja Kumari brought my maternal grandmother here by 3:00 from Gollalagunta. She is very weak due to her old age and mental disorder. Evening wrote a two-page introductory letter to Krishnasri, a pen friend, whose postal address is given in a recent copy of Telugu weekly Andhra Bhoomi. I have lost the friendship of a girl and so trying to fill that emptiness this way. May God bless her. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 10:00.
24 November (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies. Meanwhile my uncle Baasi came. The elders of the bride party came to see him formally at the house of my uncle Srinu (his elder brother). I too went to their house by 11:00 and spent there till 2:00. Returned home and had my lunch by 2:30. From 5:00 to 8:00 spent in our nearby village Etikoppaka along with my friends enjoying the colorful and exciting environment created there on the occasion of the annual fair centered on the worship of the village goddess Bandemma. The name of Lord Gopal follows, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Listened to Telugu cine songs on our tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 10:00.
25 November (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. This morning I wore a new pair of clothes (black trousers and white shirt kept aside by me to wear while attending job interviews). This combination suits me well. By 9:15 started to Sooravaram, very near to Tuni, along with our relatives. We are going to that place to formally see the bride candidate of Datla Bhaskara Raju (my uncle Baasi), the younger brother of my uncle Srinu, the youngest son of my youngest paternal grandfather Narayana Murthy Raju, presently living in a coconut garden at village Lakshmipuram. All of us reached there by 11:15. This girl is below average (I give 40 marks for 100) in respect of her color and beauty. I kept quiet. However, my uncle looked satisfactory about her appearance. He said that one like him should not expect more beautiful and rich girl. All of us approved her physical beauty. Further negotiations are due to take place soon. We returned home by 4:00 after doing a little shopping in Tuni. Lahari telephoned me very angrily from Hyderabad sometime between 7:00 and 7:30. She became very angry at the insulting words I used in the letter and the poetry I sent her. My possessive mentality toward her compelled me to do so. She said that I am a psycho and a waste fellow. I dedicate it to my admiration for her so far. She added that I am not related to her in any sense and so I have no right to criticize her. Went to sleep by 11:00.
26 November (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Morning scanned the two dailies. I felt lost at heart and so remained at home lying on bed going through the book Sights and Sounds of the World of Khushwant Singh, a collection of his travel writings. I read his views on Muscat, the capital city of the Sultanate of Oman, thinking that I would go there soon for my job. Only God knows how future unfolds before me. Went to Payakaraopeta by 12:45 by bus. Reached Satyan Computer Center in the post office lane in Tuni by 1:00 on foot. From 1:30 to 3:30 engaged myself in getting my letter to Lahari in English typed up on a computer. Then I got this two-page letter printed in blue color (on white sheets of paper) on inkjet printer. I got one more set printed in black and white for my records section of life. This letter carries my words of intense apology to Lahari. Perhaps it is going to be my last letter to her in this life. Booked this envelope at a nearby DTDC courier service point to be sent to Lahari in Hyderabad. I spent 90 rupees on this work. Returned home by 5:30. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on Visakha FM for some time. Went to sleep by 10:00.
27 November (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Morning washed a pair of clothes. Generally my mother washes my clothes while at home. Today’s clothes being special to me, I had to enter the field of washing. The items were black trousers, a white shirt and a white vest. This pair of clothes is to use while attending job interviews. So, I washed them carefully and applied blue Ujala. I remember starting washing my clothes from my school days in Gollalagunta. Afterwards, three years at residential school in Bhoopatipalem and two years at the University of Hyderabad in Hyderabad witnessed me washing my clothes. It’s a joy washing my clothes. Attractive clothes add grace to mortals. I like wearing elegant clothes, which make me look more handsome. Today a team of invited priests chanted mantras from Hindu scriptures at the recently constructed temple of Lord Shiva by big pond in our village adjoining Adduroad. It is very near to our house. My mother, my aunt Raja Kumari, my maternal grandmother and my sister-in-law Kranti spent much of their time sitting at that temple hearing that collective chant of mantras. I spent at home all the day doing nothing. My paternal grandfather Thammi Raju came this afternoon from Kothuru to see my maternal grandmother Buchchiyyamma. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on Visakha FM for some time. Went to sleep by 11:00.
28 November (Thursday)
Woke up by 6:00. Went to Adduroad by 7:00 and had a plate of purees at the hotel of my friend Appala Raju. From 8:00 to 8:30 spent talking with Haripriya Devi, the mother of Lahari, over telephone, on the things related to the aftermath of my violent letter to her daughter. I made an apology for the mistake. I told her that I would keep myself away forever from them with a sense of guilt regarding this. I cursed myself the worst way to compensate my attack on them with insulting words. May God punish me if I wrote that letter out of hatred towards them rather than corrective possessiveness. Rushed back to home from the telephone booth and packed every piece of material that belongs to or related to Lahari. Went to Elamanchili by bus and booked that parcel at the ANL-APSRTC courier service point to be sent to the address of Lahari in Hyderabad. A bond of friendship was thus started by me once and is terminated like this today by me. Afternoon talked with my B.A. classmate Nookeswari for some time at their home. She is presently pursuing her M.A. English literature course at a post graduation center in Kakinada. To cool down my disturbed psyche, saw the Telugu film “Idiot” of Ravi Teja and Rakshita in cinema Tulasi Chitra Mandir. It greatly soothed my heart. Talked with my friend Appa Rao for some time and then took a bus. My conscience interrogated me about my sense of self-control and possessiveness toward others. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00. Blissful dreams engaged me.
29 November (Friday)
Woke up by 5:30. Listened to devotional music on Visakha FM for some time. Scanned the two dailies. By 11:00 went to the house of my uncle Srinu to spend there my time listening to my specially recorded Telugu cine songs on our tape recorder. It went on till 3:00. My uncle Srinu, my aunt Lakshmi and their little son too enjoyed listening to these songs. Evening spent some time at the tent house in Adduroad talking with my friends. Night a serious debate took place among my brother Sambha, my parents and me. My brother told me that I should get married within four months. They will find a beautiful, educated, fair and tall girl for me. I would be given a chance to accept or reject the girl based on my personal judgment. They said that it is my right age to marry and enjoy my married life. I felt a little shocked at their urgent decision to get me married at the earliest. Let me see if God would be able to send a very beautiful and inspiring girl for me! I am an esthete, romantic and dreamer. I cannot satisfy my eyes easily. One’s life changes a lot after one’s marriage. My darling of life must be kind-hearted if I have to enjoy my life. Otherwise I would become an actor. I don’t like it. Night listened to songs for some time. Went to sleep by 10:30.
30 November (Saturday)
Woke up by 6:00. Morning scanned the two dailies. A memorable event occurred in this month in my life. I deeply admired a beautiful girl called Lahari for 400 days, and, just by writing an angry letter, in order to rectify her, I became a waste fellow in their view. Can one incident break such a sweet bond between two persons that fast! Lahari told me that she wants to marry a six-feet man, with a big software job in the US, driving a costly car. Her mother told me that one should mind one’s financial position before asking a girl to marry him. These two comments made by them hurt me. I told (cautioned) Haripriya Devi to check my future to compare the total value of their assets put together with my individual earning. The world shows that challenges should be welcomed rather than to be worried at. I adored her like a goddess and brought her down to the earth with a single letter. It is one of the significant events of my life. Let me see how my future unfolds! Today I spent much of my time at the tent house in Adduroad. My brother Sambha and my father went to the office of sub registrar in Nakkapalli to attend the registration work related to a piece of land bought recently. Night found a reply cover at home sent from the office of C.S.M. Resources at Pattukkottai in Tamil Nadu. Earlier I sent an application to them for the position of Supervisors’ Officer. They sent a form asking me to fill it up and send back to them. I applied for a number of other jobs. They may respond to me at any time. May God direct me toward a fast growing career path. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on our tape recorder to soothe my upset mind. They are wonderfully healing me. Went to sleep by 11:00.
1 December (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies. By 8:30 opened the tent house in Adduroad. Meanwhile my cousin Hari came there. Then I went to Revu Polavaram along with my uncle Srinu. The Kshatriya folks in our village are organizing a garden party (because this is the holy Telugu month “Kaartheekam”) there in a coconut garden by seashore. Many attendees enjoyed themselves playing cards and boozing. We spent there for some time. By 11:00 we moved to the nearby seashore. Some visitors were playing there on the sand. We watched them for some time. We had our lunch there and returned to Adduroad by 3:00. Spent some time at the tent house. Went to weekly market in Adduroad by 4:00 on bicycle and bought vegetables for our domestic consumption. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on our tape recorder for three hours. The name of Lord Gopal follows, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Went to sleep by 11:00.
2 December (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies. Went to Adduroad by 9:00. Opened the tent house to run it today. My brother Sambha went to Durgada yesterday. This morning I taught English to the first and second year Intermediate students at Sri Pragna Junior College in Adduroad. They are very poor at English. I taught a poem to the first year students and a prose lesson to the second year students. For the last six months, I remained idle searching for a job. I should have taught to these students. Better late than never. I would teach them for a few days until I get a job. I enjoyed teaching. It is a great art. Evening sold my gold ring for 2,300 rupees at Sri Srinivasa Jewellery Store in Adduroad to face my present financial problems. The God of the ring is Lord Gopal (Chinni Krishnudu). So, He does not get hurt for being sold to help me out. My hotel friend’s brother helped me in the sale of this ring at a fair price. I don’t like to bother my parents asking them for money. To date I owe them an amount of 55,500 rupees. Sorry my dear Gopal. You would be in my heart no! Night listened to songs. Went to sleep by 11:00.
3 December (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies. Went to Adduroad by 9:00 and spent talking with my brother Sambha for some time at the tent house. From 9:50 to 10:40 taught “Precis Writing” to the second year Intermediate students at Sri Pragna Junior College. A BHMS doctor in Adduroad established this private junior college two years ago. He pays very low salaries to lecturers. They are all young folks waiting for the results of their B.Ed. course. They want to join government schools as teachers. They are teaching here for the time being to gain teaching experience. The students are not very academic. They could not get places in government junior colleges facing tough competition. Yet I like to teach them because ignorance is not a chosen demerit of these students. From 11:40 to 12:30 taught English to the first year students. Had my lunch by 1:00 and left for Nakkapalli to buy a demand draft for 360 rupees at Indian Overseas Bank there. I have to send this draft to the office of C.S.M. Resources at Pattukkottai in Tamil Nadu. Also I got my educational certificates photocopied there. These are to send along with my applications for jobs. Returned home by 4:00. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on our tape recorder. Went to sleep by 10:30.
4 December (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies. In today’s “Opportunities” section of The Hindu I did not find suitable job vacancies for me. Many employers are looking for highly qualified, skilled and experienced candidates. A layman should not expect much from this cutthroat world of competition. By 9:20 went to college and taught English to the second year students. They enjoyed the lesson on computers. From 11:40 to 12:30 taught the lesson “The Judge” of R K Narayan to the first year students. This short story is full of legal terms and humor. The students and I greatly enjoyed the progress of this story. Came back to home and had my lunch by 12:45. Took a siesta for one hour. It is not a good practice in winter. By 2:30 went to Adduroad to spend talking with my friend at the hotel. Meanwhile I saw the maternal grandmother of my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani going to our house. I brought her home. Spent talking with her for some time about domestic affairs. Today my mother went to Tuni to listen to the spiritual discourse of His Holiness Tridandi China Jeeyar Swamy. Evening bought and offered a kilo Mysore Pak sweets to my friend Appalaraju of the hotel in Adduroad as a gesture of my affection for them for helping me in selling my gold ring at a fair price. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 10:30.
5 December (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies. Listened to devotional songs on tape recorder for some time. Took the maternal grandmother of my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani to Elamanchili by 8:30 by bus. Thence she would go to Rambilli to see her granddaughter Sowjanya at the house of latter’s in-laws. Came back to home by 9:10 by bus. Went to junior college by 9:50 and took my class to the first year students. Today I completed discussing “The Judge” lesson. The students are mischievous and shortsighted. Nobody can help these ill-mannered nuts. From 11:40 to 12:30 taught the lesson on computers to the second year students. Afternoon received my subscription copy of India Today by post. Also received a letter from my brother Srinivas after some time. My sister-in-law Sandhya Rani and my brother wrote this letter. He sent a demand draft for 1500 rupees for the payment of a monthly chit in our village. From 3:00 to 6:00 spent at the tent house in Adduroad. My brother Sambha went to Tuni to buy fertilizers and pesticides for our 18 acres of mango garden. Wrote an 8-page letter to my brother Srinivas in response to their recent letter. Night my sister-in-law Sandhya Rani called us up from Ambala Cantonment. Went to sleep by 9:00.
6 December (Friday)
Woke up by 5:30. Listened to devotional songs from Visakha FM on our tape recorder for some time. It helps us start a pleasant day. Scanned the two dailies. By 7:30 went to the house of the sister of my uncle of Durgada along with the latter. Today is a holiday to the postal department on the occasion of Ramadan. So, my letter posted to my brother Srinivas does not move today. By 9:00 went to Adduroad and opened the tent house. Today my brother Sambha was engaged in supervising the spraying of insecticides on our mango trees with a long spray gun drawing liquid from a tank fixed on a tractor trailer. So, I was the supervisor of his tent house business today. Nobody came today. I taught English subject to the Intermediate students even today. Came back to home by 6:15 from the tent house. Night inserted the demand draft of 1500 rupees sent by my brother Srinivas in an envelope to send it back to him. It has to be encashed by my father in the bank to pay his monthly chit. The savings bank account of my father expired recently due to lack of transactions by him with the bank for a long time. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on our tape recorder for some time. I wasted six months’ time so far waiting for the job call from Muscat. Went to sleep by 10:30.
7 December (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies. Went to post office by 9:00 and posted the letter to my brother Srinivas. Taught to the Intermediate students at the junior college during my scheduled hours. Afternoon one of my B.A. classmates met me at the tent house in Adduroad. Presently he is working as a business development executive with the “TVS Motors”. I felt proud of him. In the present competitive world, one should be ready to take challenges. Job seekers must be proactive to get good jobs. The global employment market is in search of energetic, innovative and dynamic youth with a drive to excel always. The lucrative marketing jobs demand much initiative, patience and zeal on part of the executives. He joined this job two months ago and proving successful in reaching his sales targets. Evening listened to Telugu cine songs on our tape recorder for some time. By 9:00 went to cinema Venkatapathi Raju Mahal in Adduroad and saw the Telugu film “Jayam” directed by Teja. Today I saw this film for the second time. I took my nephew Sujan and my cousin Hari also to this film. I earlier promised Sujan to take him to this film. We returned home by 12:30. Winter is working well at night. Went to sleep by 12:40.
8 December (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies. I found two suitable job vacancies for me in today’s newspaper. Prepared two applications for them. Listened to Telugu cine songs on our tape recorder from 9:00 to 3:00. By 4:00 went to weekly market in Adduroad and bought vegetables. Night also listened to Telugu cine songs on our tape recorder. The name of Lord Gopal follows, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Went to sleep by 10:00.
9 December (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. Listened to devotional songs on tape recorder for some time. Scanned the two dailies. Went to post office by 9:00 and posted the two envelopes containing the applications for two jobs. Taught to the Intermediate students at the junior college during my scheduled hours. Afternoon listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time and went through the book Sights and Sounds of the World of Khushwant Singh for some time. Recently I started reading this exciting book. Going through this book is like traveling through places. Night too listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. For the last six months, I have been spending my time without doing any constructive work, which helps my career. Why shouldn’t I take these days and nights as a long vacation given to me by God for my 17 years of boring education? I am listening to Telugu cine songs. These songs fill me with bliss and activate my spirit. I don’t feel forsaken when I am in the company of these songs. Every passionate and ideal person desires to live a life as envisaged in these songs. I am very interested in the songs of eternal love. A sense of mutual belongingness is a boon to humanity. It can be activated listening to these songs. Went to sleep by 11:00.
10 December (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Drew water from our well and filled the containers for our domestic consumption. Scanned the two dailies. Took a bath, dressed up myself and listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. Then went to junior college and took my scheduled classes of teaching. Even today I greatly enjoyed my teaching. Some students are mischief-makers. They indulge in prattle when teaching is going on seriously. I softly instruct them to pay attention to me. There are about 25 students in a class including girls. The girls seem to be a patient lot in listening to me without making noise on their part. I never made noise as a student in a classroom. At least our acting as if we are attentively listening to the teacher creates a tranquil atmosphere in a classroom. Afternoon went to the rented house of my friend Shiva at Darlapudi. He took my ballpoint and forgot to return it yesterday evening. I went there to collect it. Also they have been asking me to come to their house for long. I spent there from 1:30 to 3:30. They treated me well. Came back to home by 4:00 on my bicycle. I enjoyed the ride. Night listened to Telugu cine songs for some time. Went to sleep by 11:00.
11 December (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Drew water from our well. Scanned the two dailies. In today’s “Opportunities” section of The Hindu, I did not find suitable job vacancies for me. By 9:00 went to Adduroad and spent talking with my friend Appalaraju for some time. He recently went to Hyderabad. He is pursuing M.A. Economics course from the Osmania University through distance education mode. Then took my scheduled classes of teaching at the junior college. Today my mother took my maternal grandmother to the house of my uncle Rama Raju at Raja Venkata Nagaram. After the demise of her spouse, she became solitary and aimless. Why do old people live longer being a burden to their children or relataives? Indian culture upholds that old generation is a great treasure to their near and dear ones. They represent a life of diverse experiences from which youth can gain valuable insights. Afternoon went through the book Sights and Sounds of the World of Khushwant Singh for some time. He wrote about a few places he visited in India and abroad in it. It is a good book. May God bless me with an independent and joyful life soon. Went to sleep by 9:00.
12 December (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:30. Took a bath and dressed up myself by 7:00. Then scanned the two dailies. Found nothing interesting in them. Had my breakfast of upma. Went to post office by 9:00 and collected my subscription copy of India Today. By 9:40 went to the junior college and took my scheduled classes of teaching. Came back to home by 12:30 and had my lunch. For the last few days, I have been drinking a glass of hot milk in the morning. Perhaps it is the best of the food items I am consuming at home. In our vicinity, the only considerable place where we villagers buy the required vegetables is the weekly market in Adduroad, which runs on Sundays. Important nourishment providers are carrot, beetroot and beans. Villagers seldom buy these items. These are not much fresh vegetables either. Even the women at home should know the proper ways of cooking them if their folks have to savor the essence of these vital components of health blest by nature. Afternoon a serious argument arose between my mother and me. I spoke angrily to tell her that a tradition, which dictates women to sit at the feet of men like brainless servants, is baseless and irrational. Women should be united to resolve their problems collectively. Common antagonism between daughter-in-law and mother-in-law is a curse on the conservative Indian society. Went to sleep by 9:00.
13 December (Friday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies. From today onwards the 32nd National Games of India are going to be held at the Gachibowli Stadium in Hyderabad. This place actually belongs to the University of Hyderabad. Twenty-five years ago, when this university was being founded, a land of 2,400 acres was donated to it by the state government. In course of time, much of its land was generously donated for the establishment of other important institutions of India. The irony is that our university campus is spread over a very little place in the huge land given to it. Its surrounding areas are now getting populated and industrialized. I don’t think that conducting these national games brings fame to the state of Andhra Pradesh except that the desire of the state government to get a bit of national attention due to it might be satisfied to some extent. Morning took my scheduled classes of teaching to the Intermediate students at the junior college. I am deriving much pleasure from this pursuit. Afternoon read part of the description of Italy in Khushwant Singh’s book. Evening my friend Ramu Naidu came from Vizianagaram. We saw the Telugu film “Challenger” of Suresh Gopi in cinema Venkatapathi Raju Mahal at Adduroad in the second show. Went to sleep by 1:00.
14 December (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies. This morning, the results of the B.Ed. entrance examination, which was conducted recently by the Andhra University, were announced. My friend Ramu Naidu went to Adduroad to check his exam number in the newspaper. He passed it by the grace of God. He pursued his B.Ed. course at Maha Raja College in Vizianagaram. Now he is devotedly preparing for the ensuing examination of the District Selection Committee (D.S.C.) to become a teacher in a government school. I finished my classes at the junior college by 12:30. My friend and I started to our mango garden at hills by 1:30 on two bicycles. We reached there by 2:15. We rested for some time at the house of my uncle Narayana Murthy. Then we moved to our mango garden to enjoy breathing fresh air and hearing the music of nature emerging from the nearby hills. I read out, on his request, two scripts of mine, which I wrote previously to send to Lahari in an audio recording form on two occasions. He liked them very much. I read out even my script written addressing Lakshmi in Kothuru. He found it interesting. We returned home by 5:30. Night he listened to my audio recording of “Pranaya Saagara Teeralu” in Telugu on love on our tape recorder. Went to sleep by 10:30.
15 December (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies. Today I saw an attractive ad inThe Hindu. There are 850 job vacancies at various hotels and factories in Western Europe. One can earn from 50 US dollars to 100 US dollars a day doing these jobs. That too without tax. One has to send one’s application to the Taskmaster Worldwide Search in Malaysia by the 15th of next month. Morning went to the house of my uncle Rama Raju at Raja Venkata Nagaram along with my friend Ramu Naidu. My cousin Hari (of Ramuladeva Puram) joined us there. Three of us proceeded to Revu Polavaram to spend there for some time by seashore. We spent on the beach for 90 minutes. I bought fresh fish for ten rupees to take home for making soup. We came back to Adduroad by 2:30. I left for Tuni by 3:00 by bus. Went to Satyan Computer Center and got my covering letter typed up and printed on inkjet printer. It is to send to Malaysia along with my application for the job in Western Europe. Returned home by 7:00. Got everything ready to send to Malaysia. Went to sleep by 9:00.
16 December (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. Drew water from our well for domestic use. Took a bath by 7:30. Scanned the two dailies. Good news is that Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) won assembly election in the state of Gujarat. Narendra Modi is going to be its chief minister again. I believe in mainstream Hinduism which loves and respects all religions and upholds the ideals of humanity and universal fraternity. India is a nation of Hindus. There is nothing wrong on their part in taking possible and rational measures to safeguard their values and tradition. Should not the owner of a big house follow his interests without hurting the sentiments of his tenants? Hinduism respects all faiths in the world. Religious fanatics in the world should salute India for its nobility and patience toward them. Filthy acts of present media and unscrupulous politicians in India are tarnishing the image of great India. Morning sent an application for a job in Malaysia. Took my scheduled classes to the Intermediate students at the junior college. Afternoon my friend Ramu Naidu left for his village Jaggarajupeta in Vizianagaram district. Evening went to public library in Koruprolu along with my friend Appalaraju on bicycle. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on our tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 10:00.
17 December (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Drew water from our well. Scanned the two dailies. Morning took my classes to the Intermediate students at the junior college. Left for Tuni by 2:00 by bus. The inkjet printer at Satyan Computer Centre was out of order and so could not get my CV printed there. Went to a nearby computer centre and got my work done. Returned to bus complex in Payakaraopeta by 5:30. Kept waiting for my expected bus. I had to lighten myself from the unnecessary burden in my bladder but there was no hygienic place around to attend it. Surveyed the surroundings for a few seconds to know what the other gentlemen with similar problem were doing. The insight gained was that one has to go to some place, which is beyond the direct notice of the people around, and then noiselessly carry out the task. I am particular in these things. I saw many blokes creating embarrassment to beautiful and sensitive girls and women in public places doing things of this order in a thoughtless manner. I did not like to be such a nut. Today I was forced to do something to resolve this issue immediately. Yet I did it with a bit of civic sense. Returned home by 7:00. Night listened to melodious Hindi cine songs from Vividha Bharati radio station for some time. Went to sleep by 9:00.
18 December (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies. Gave a set of my CV and the photocopies of my educational certificates to a man. He is an acquaintance to me. He is supervising a minor road laying work in Adduroad on behalf of a contractor. He said that he knows an agent in Gajuwaka who is sending candidates for jobs in India and abroad. There is nothing wrong in checking the available rich employment avenues. I am looking for an overseas job. If I have to realize my dreams of self-reliance and charity, I need to earn handsomely. I cannot achieve it with the salaries being paid in India. Morning took my classes at the junior college. This pursuit is a relief to me now from the disturbing thoughts about my future. It’s a great pleasure to spend with the students of mischief and ignorance. They are very young. They don’t worry about their future. Childhood is a divine gift. One cannot enjoy the beauty of life after entering the web of selfish earning and visionary thinking. I don’t like growing up. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on our tape recorder for some time. Went to sleep by 9:30.
19 December (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:30. Drew water from our well for domestic consumption. Scanned the two dailies. Went to Adduroad by 9:00. Spent talking with my friend at the hotel for some time. Took my classes at the junior college. Today they asked me to evaluate the exam papers of students. Their former English lecturer conducted this test to them. Now he is on a long sick leave (perhaps low salary effect). Morally it is not right to evaluate exam papers for which somebody else set the questions but I wanted to check the academic worth of the students in their answer papers. Actually today I had to go to a wedding ceremony of my friend’s friend. I could not attend that ceremony being busy with this work. I kept on evaluating these exam papers from 2:00 to 8:30. Ninety percent of the students are from Telugu medium background. Their English is very bad. I pitied their poverty in English. I remained unbiased in giving them marks. They must be prepared to take the ensuing public examinations. So, I should not be liberal in giving them marks. I don’t hate the backwardness of students in their studies because I too came from such environment. However, I found these students to be very bad at English. They lacked guidance. Went to sleep by 10:00.
20 December (Friday)
Woke up by 5:30. Drew water from our well. Scanned the two dailies. Went to Adduroad by 9:00. In today’s Telugu daily Vaartha, there was an ad inviting teachers to work in the Maldives. I decided to attend that interview to check the possibilities. Today I saw my sweetheart Lakshmi shopping at a cloth store in Adduroad opposite our tent house. She is the divine girl that taught me about the essence of admiration through her affectionate looks at me for five years. I am ready to die for her even today. I request my Lord Gopal to give me a chance to place some flowers on her feet sometime before I die. I think it is the only way through which I can express my sense of admiration for her with one short gesture. She is a symbol of feminine sensitivity and traditional vulnerability. Once I admired her in my heart. Now I kept her image in my mind as a masterpiece. I am grateful to God for bringing her to be seen by me. She came from Kothuru to buy some clothes. She was in that cloth store for 50 minutes (from 10:50 to 11:40). I went to take my class to the students at the junior college after she had left that shop with her husband and elder sister. Long live her bliss. Afternoon spent some time at the house of my uncle Srinu listening to Telugu cine songs on our tape recorder. Evening I saw a cute rabbit being sold by a poor hunter in Adduroad. It is a big symbol of inspirational beauty for me and for him it is a small animal of edible meat. His struggle for existence subdued my rationale of humanity. Went to sleep by 9:30.
21 December (Saturday)
Woke up by 4:30. Got ready soon and left for NRPM railway station by 6:20 on my bicycle. Bought a ticket for 17 rupees to Visakhapatnam and took Kakinada-Visakhapatnam passenger by 7:00. Recently this EMU (Electrical Multiple Unit) train was introduced in our section. I enjoyed the beauty and comfort of this train. The only considerable disadvantage in this system is that there is no toilet facility in it. Attended the interview for the position of English teacher in the Maldives by 9:30. One has to teach English to the students below seventh standard. The monthly earnings can be about 20,000 rupees including salary and tuition charges. I have to spend 70,000 rupees to get this job. I did not like it. Took an auto rickshaw and proceeded to Jagadamba Junction. Went to Radio Corner and ordered the recording of 20 select Telugu cine songs into a 90-minute audio cassette. Then went to a nearby hotel and had a plate meal (the native words are “Plate Meals” and “Full Meals”) for 18 rupees. Thereafter saw the recently released Telugu film “2 much” in cinema Raj Kamal. Bought a diary of 2003 (of the Eagle Press in Chennai) at Guptas Bookshop. Took an auto rickshaw and came back to railway station by 5:40. Reached home by 8:30 by Visakhapatnam-Kakinada passenger. Night listened to Telugu cine songs for some time. Went to sleep by 10:30.
22 December (Sunday)
Woke up by 6:00. Scanned the two dailies. Morning spent within the home. Filled in an entry form of contest given in The Hindu. This contest is related to the World Cup which is getting started soon. One has to express one’s opinion based on one’s guess about its eventual winners. I carefully read the reviews of experts on this matter and expressed my opinion accordingly. Afternoon saw the Telugu film “Jendaa” in cinema Venkatapathi Raju Mahal at Adduroad. Thereafter went to weekly market in Adduroad and bought vegetables. This morning I prepared an application to send to Chennai for the position of English lecturer at a private junior college in Jammu and Kashmir. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. It is like living in a heaven for me. By today, the 32nd National Games, being conducted in Hyderabad came to an end. Atal Bihari Vajpayee, the present Prime Minister of India, presided over the valedictory ceremony. The name of Lord Gopal follows, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Went to sleep by 10:00.
23 December (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies. Went to post office by 9:00 and posted the three letters to three different places. The postmaster told me about a spiritual program going to take place soon at Srisailam, a holy city blest by Lord Shiva with His presence in the temple there. The title of this holy event is “Sahashra Kunkumaarchana Mahaa Yaagam”. Devotees are requested to make donations, to make this big religious event, centered on worship of Lord Shiva, successful. I donated 116 rupees despite my present poor financial position. The tokens of this Mahaa Yaagam would be sent to the houses of donors by post after the completion of this religious ceremony. Morning took my scheduled classes to the students at the junior college. Afternoon waited at the hotel of my friend in Adduroad for a long time for the man that told me to be ready to go to Gajuwaka to meet the agent and talk about the point of the availability of jobs for me in India and abroad. He did not turn up. Evening went to public library in Koruprolu. There are very few books and newspapers in it. Thence went to ration depot (the manager of this public store is familiar to us) and bought ten kilograms of wheat for our domestic use. I think wheat is more nutritious than rice. North Indians look fairer and stronger than south Indians. I like the Aryan features of north Indians. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder for some time. It has been my job for the last six months. How many can enjoy a carefree life like mine? Went to sleep by 10:00.
24 December (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies. Went to Adduroad by 9:00 and spent talking with my friend Appalaraju for some time. Took my (two) scheduled classes at the junior college. Presently I am teaching English grammar (I am scared of it. I am bad in teaching it) to them. Afternoon left for Gajuwaka along with my acquaintance Srinivasa Rao. He is about 50 and a small road contractor. He is taking me to an agent in Gajuwaka who is sending candidates abroad finding jobs for them there. We took a bus at Adduroad by 1:00 and reached there by 3:00. I met those agents in Hotel Aditya. They told me about the vacancy of English teacher in a private school at Muscat in the Sultanate of Oman. The monthly salary is 110 Omani riyals. The employer provides food and accommodation. It is a two-year contract assignment. I have to pay 80,000 rupees to this agent to get this job. I should bear the expenses for my compulsory medical tests. There is possibility of saving two lakh rupees a year after repaying the loan took out by my father initially for this venture. I liked this job against my six-month wait at home for a good job. I agreed to pay them the money. Took two buses and reached home by 9:30. I will become an overseas king (an admirable entity in the present Indian society) soon. Had my supper by 10:00. Went to sleep by 10:30.
25 December (Wednesday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies. In today’s “Opportunities” section of The Hindu I found a suitable job vacancy for me. The ICFAI Press in Hyderabad wants language editors. They are looking for postgraduates and research scholars in English literature. It would be a good job for me. This morning a serious discussion took place at our home on my being sent to Muscat for the job. My father remained neutral on this issue. Today it is Christmas and so a holiday to the junior college in Adduroad. Afternoon once again discussion took place on the Muscat issue. My father, my brother Sambha and my uncle Narayana Murthy thoroughly discussed this issue for more than two hours. Their conclusion is that they cannot/wouldn’t pay that much money for such a small job with low salary. They said that the agent is not reliable. I felt disappointed at their decision. I dreamt of earning a lot of money needed to look after my folks well (my wife in particular if I get married soon). Life is a challenge. One needs to learn how to face it boldly. Evening wrote a four-page covering letter to send to the ICFAI Press in Hyderabad. Night listened to Telugu cine songs on tape recorder. Went to sleep (at the house of my uncle Srinu) by 10:30.
26 December (Thursday)
Woke up by 5:30. Last night I slept alone at the house of my uncle Srinu (they went to Lakshmipuram and asked me to sleep in their hut at night keeping guard of it. They would return soon and relieve me from these night duties). During the late night hours, I felt as if a thief entered their house. Fear gripped my body and mind. Actually an active rat was continuously carrying out its rounds of visit around the items of edible nature inside the room. I interpreted that sound differently lying on a cot outside that room. I felt relieved after assuring myself that a stupid rat cannot attack me. It took much time for me to re-enter my sphere of sound sleep. Morning scanned the two dailies. By 9:10 went to post office and posted an envelope (containing a contest form) to Hyderabad. The Telugu edition of English weekly India Today is conducting a weekly contest. Four questions have to be answered after thoroughly reading that edition of the weekly. One slogan (not exceeding the 10-word limit) has to be written describing why I prefer reading this particular weekly. I am good at my mother tongue Telugu. So, I wrote a catchy slogan. May God bless me with a good gift. Morning took my two classes at the junior college as usual. Afternoon did nothing in particular. These are the days of financial strain and mental pain for me. I should have joined an ordinary job. My dream for a well-paid job made me poor in reality. I should leave our home very soon. Night listened to Telugu cine songs for some time. Went to sleep (at the house of my uncle Srinu) by 9:30.
27 December (Friday)
Woke up by 5:00. Drew water from our well. Scanned the two dailies. Went to post office by 9:00 and posted a New Year greeting card to my brother Srinivas at Ambala Cantonment. Got a letter of intimation for interview from the office of C.S.M. Resources at Pattukkottai in Tamil Nadu. They informed me to attend the interview along with my original educational certificates on the 23rd of next month. The job on offer for me by them is “Supervisors’ Officer” in an SSI (Small Scale Industry) Limited on a permanent basis. I am satisfied with their offer and so decided to attend this interview. I should join some job immediately to be financially independent. I am very sad to have a lot of conventional parents, shortsighted brothers and uneducated relatives who cannot imagine me beyond the position of a teacher with nominal salary. They can’t dream high and push me toward realizing my dreams. My father does not value anything else except buying agricultural land borrowing money from every fellow available. Only my Lord Gopal can save me from this hell of orthodoxy and gloom. Morning taught English subject at the junior college as usual. Afternoon spent at the hotel of my friend Appalaraju. He is a good boy. I enjoy talking with him. Went to sleep (at the house of my uncle Srinu) by 11:00.
28 December (Saturday)
Woke up by 5:30. Scanned the two dailies. Went to Adduroad by 9:30. Took my (two) scheduled classes at the junior college. Had my lunch by 12:40. From 1:00 to 2:30 spent at the tent house talking with my familiar ones. By 3:00 left for village Gurrajupeta on bicycle along with my uncle Ramu (of Bhoopalapatnam). In the beginning of this journey, I saw a squirrel being crushed under the wheels of a fast running auto rickshaw on main road at Peda Gummuluru. That driver went away carelessly. The poor creature died helplessly. Nobody pitied it. What is the value of its life? No answers to many important questions in this world! We visited the house of my uncle Rama Raju at Raja Venkata Nagaram and his (uncle Ramu’s) mother’s at Gurrajupeta. Came back to home by 6:30. Today this uncle spent ten rupees for me to buy a “Limca” cool drink and three bananas at a kirana shop in village Koruprolu. Night went to the house of my uncle Srinu. We listened to Telugu cine songs for one hour. Then we talked about the present social trends for some time. These days many forgot the virtues and the ideal notions related to caste system in India. Unethical relationships even among family members is the order of the day. Holiness and purity attributed to Hindu marriage system and Indian married life got spoilt irrevocably. Hypocrisy and opportunism are the guiding principles of the elite. Wealth embraces vice. Poverty struggles to retain inherent virtues. It is a corrupt and merciless society. Went to sleep by 10:30.
29 December (Sunday)
Woke up by 5:30. Spent most of my time at the tent house in Adduroad. Evening went to weekly market in Adduroad on bicycle and bought vegetables. My uncle Ramu (of Bhoopalapatnam) and I saw the Telugu film “Aadhi” in cinema Venkatapathi Raju Mahal in first show at Adduroad. He bought my ticket also. The name of Lord Gopal follows, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Went to sleep by 12:00.
30 December (Monday)
Woke up by 5:30. All the day spent at the tent house in Adduroad supervising the transactions of the business. Took my scheduled classes to the Intermediate students at the junior college. Night listened to my favorite Telugu cine songs on our tape recorder. The name of Lord Krishna follows, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Went to sleep by 10:30.
31 December (Tuesday)
Woke up by 5:30. The last day in this year did not make any difference in my life except that the sky was cloudy and inviting. Morning took my two classes at the junior college. Afternoon went into our nearby coconut, mango and cashew groves along with my uncle Srinu and the little boy Sampath searching for margosa twigs to brush teeth. We came across a litter of fierce black pups at a bush in a coconut garden on our way back to home. We tried hard to catch them and bring home. We could not succeed in that task because their father was safeguarding them barking at us violently. Night went to the rented abode of my uncle Ramu (of Bhoopalapatnam) and spent watching television. From 8:30 to 1:00 kept watching Eenadu Telugu television channel. A number of singing and dancing events were presented on the occasion of arrival of New Year. To briefly comment on the journey of my life in this year, I should highlight four important points. A 17-year long headache of institutional learning came to a happy end by the completion of my M.A. English literature course from the HCU; my one-year long sweet friendship with Lahari broke down just like that; eight months of valuable time elapsed in my pursuit of wait for a well-paid job and I was casually thrown into the jungle of struggle for existence by the dictator of time. God helped me throughout.
© 2011 Datla Chiranjeevi Raju
2 comments:
You maintain an online diary? too bold :)
Bharani,
I write them in my personal diaries (made of paper) at home. I posted the typed and edited versions of those diaries here for others to read.
Thank you for your appreciation.
I will explore your blog soon.
The image you put there is classic. They are influential features of an Indian beauty. I wonder if it were you!
Then, Ganga Bharani is a beautiful and unique name for an Indian girl.
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